All language subtitles for Man.About.Town.1939.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.BZ]

Rochester.

Rochester.

Will you call me, Mr. Temple?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Rochester. I
didn't mean to disturb your nap.

Oh, that's all right, boss.

I can get right back to where I was in
no time.

Well, while you're up, I'm going to let
you in on a little secret.

Somebody's been ringing that doorbell,
and I'm getting awfully curious about

it can be.

How do you think you might find out? Oh,
yes, sir, Mr. Bob.

You know, even under the Wagner Act,
it's the butler who answers the door,

the employer.

Beg pardon, a radiograph for Mr. Temple,
sir.

Say that again?

Radiograph for Mr. Temple.

Boy, what an accent you got.

Hey, I played that pretty well, didn't
I?

Uh, it's a radiogram for you, boss.

Well, open it. It might be important.

And I still say I played her pretty
well.

Well?

Surprise! We beat it by a day. Try to
meet us at boat train arriving 5 .30.

Love from your entire cast and me to
Diana. Diane.

P .S. Hey, give me that.

P .S. How about tickets for two for good
musical comedy tonight?

Rochester, you know what this says?

Sure I know. It says the show has
arrived. The show has arrived. You

whole thing. It says she loves me. Who
loves you? Diane, Miss Wilson.

Can I see that again, boss? Sure, go
right ahead.

It says love from your entire cast and
me too.

That don't mean nothing.

Is that so? Send the entire cast so she
wouldn't look too forward?

I'm afraid you don't know much about
women, Rochester.

Well, I certainly knows the difference
between I could go for you and how are

you. Oh, yeah?

Well, how about her wanting to see a
show with me the very first night she's

town? Doesn't that prove anything?

Sure. Proves she wants to see a show.

Go get me my hat and coat.

Yes, sir. And it's the last time I sign
a butler to a seven -year contract.

A great comedian, a great manager, and a
great friend.

Why don't you knock before you come in?

What are you doing, keeping a diary?

And, Rochester, I want dinner served for
two in this room at 7 o 'clock.

Yes, sir. What shall I order? The
regular dinner?

Regular dinner?

Use a little imagination, Rochester.
What would you order if you wanted to

an impression?

Well, how about fish and chips and a
couple of bottles of gin?

Fish and chips and a couple of bottles
of gin.

Rochester, I want to make an impression
on a girl, not a bunch of sailors.

Well, uh... Now, look it. I want the
caviar.

Uh, champagne, tell the waiter it must
be at least a year old or it goes right

back. Yes, sir. A lobster, grenadine, a
beef, and a nice green salad.

I'll order the dessert later.

And I think you'll admit it's a little
bit better than fish and chips.

Okay, Mr. Bob, you live your life and
I'll live mine.

That's a deal.

Good evening, Mr. Temple.

Good evening. I'd like to get two good
seats for the casino review tonight.

Certainly, sir. I'll have them for you.
Fine. First row center, if possible.

Yes, sir. How's the weather outside?

Oh, the fog's lifting, sir. Well,
that'll be something. You know, I've

London two weeks and haven't seen the
sun yet.

Where do you keep the sun here, in the
British Museum?

It's rather unusual weather.

You should have been here last year.

I know. They give me the same talk in
California.

Will you get me a taxi right away,
please?

I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid you'll
have to wait a bit. There aren't very

running on account of the fog, sir.

Why? They told me inside that the fog
had lifted.

Only up to the ankle, sir.

Oh. Then I won't need my rubbers. No,
sir.

Is it much of a walk to the station I
have to meet the American boat train?

about a mile, sir. Straight ahead.

Oh. Then all I have to do is follow my
nose.

If I can find it.

Can you tell me how far it is to the
station? About a mile straight ahead.

Oh, it's you, sir.

Yes, it's you, too.

Oh, so it's still a mile, eh? Yes, sir.
Well, at least I haven't lost any

ground.

So this is London.

Well, I guess there's no use waiting,
Ted.

Bob probably couldn't get through the
fog.

Lucky I kept those cabs.

All right, everybody, let's get in these
cabs. Remember...

The Royal Hotel.

Pardon me, which way is the railroad
station?

Straight ahead, sir. About three miles.

Three miles?

How do they ever move it in this fog?

Thank you, Rochester.

He ought to be here any minute, Miss
Diana.

I guess he lost you in that fog.

I suppose Mr. Temple's been quite busy
these last couple of weeks. Oh, me and

him's been powerful busy.

Mighty lucky we've come on ahead.

We've had to arrange for the theater and
get the labor licenses.

I still don't see why we ever brought
the show over here.

We was doing all right in the USA of
America.

I know, but it's certainly worth taking
the chance to be internationally famous.

Money isn't everything, Rochester.

You must have heard that before.

Oh, I've heard it before, but I still
ain't convinced.

Has there been any publicity on the
show, Rochester?

Oh, no, Miss Diana. Nothing in the
papers.

Just word of mouth.

I mentions it to Mr. Bob and he mentions
it to me.

Well, that's something.

Diana!

Bob!

Gee, you look wonderful from down here.

A gentleman always rises when there's a
lady in the room.

Yeah.

Hey, you want to know something?

You look wonderful from here, too.

You don't look bad yourself.

I've got half an ocean to kiss you.

Well, I got the other half.

Hey, were my lips way up there?

Gee, I'm sorry you missed us at the
train. I'm sorry, too.

I had an awful time not getting there.

Oh, by the way, I've got those two
tickets for the casino review tonight.

First row center.

Thanks. Ted and I are just dying to see
an English show.

Oh, you had planned on going with Ted?

You wanted us to get some English
atmosphere, didn't you, for the show?

Well, yes, yes, and that's very
thoughtful of you.

And Ted, too.

You know we'd do anything to help you
put this show over.

Oh, I didn't know I was so popular with
my cast.

I don't see why not.

You know, Bob, you're really a pretty
grand person.

In fact, sometimes I wonder why I don't
fall in love with you.

Yeah, you know, I kind of wondered about
that myself.

Oh, but we'd never make a go of it.

I'm silly and romantic, and you're so
solid and respectable.

Oh, but look, Diana, I don't have to be
so respectable.

Bob, you couldn't be anything else but.

Rochester.

Uh, did you want me to pick this hat up,
boss?

No, Rochester. I like it just where it
is.

Yes, sir.

Hello, Rochester.

Why, Mr.

Ted. Hiya, Bob.

Welcome to Mary England.

How's the big impresario? Oh, fine,
fine. Did you have a nice trip? Did I?

whole days on the boat with the most
beautiful girl in the world.

And that's not all. Tonight you're going
to take her to a great show. I got you

those tickets.

Yes, I've got them right here. Well,
thanks. That's swell. How much do I owe

you? Oh, no, no. This one's on me.

What time do we start rehearsals?
Tomorrow afternoon, right after lunch.

And it's a dress rehearsal.

Don't forget, we open next Monday.

Good. So long, Bob.

So long.

Have a good time.

Don't stay out too late.

Good evening, sir. Where shall I arrange
the table, sir?

The tables?

Oh, the tables.

The tables, yeah.

Right over there.

Ah, dinner for two.

Is she nice, Bob?

Who? Oh, she. She, yes. She's lovely.
Lovely. Remember, I won't let anything

serious happen unless I approve of her.
Let him alone. Any girl is safe with

Bob. So long.

So long.

See you tomorrow.

Shall we wait and serve, sir?

No, my man will serve.

Very good, sir.

Rochester, who told you to order all of
this?

You did, boss.

Since when are you taking orders from
me?

Brought me everything but the girl.

Two million dollars' worth of caviar.
Put that in the vault.

Sure gonna be a shame to waste all this
good food.

Yeah.

Maybe I could kind of go for some of
this myself. Get away from there.

I'll find somebody to eat with me.

Solid and respectable. I'll show her.

You better show her fast, boys, or this
stuff's going to get awful stale.

Hey, wait a minute. We've got chorus
girls on this show, haven't we? You

going to feed all this food to a chorus
girl and me standing here practically

starving, are you?

Wait till I get one of those good
-looking babies up here. Maybe that'll

her up.

Hello?

Operator, connect me with Miss Susan
Hayes, please.

She's probably not in, I hope.

Hello? Oh, hello, Susie.

All right, this is Bob.

How about coming up and having dinner
with me?

Lobster, champagne, caviar, the whole
works.

Well, I'd love to, Bob, but I'm awfully
tired. Really, I am. That was a long

trip, you know.

Oh. Well, of course, I understand.

How about one of the other girls?

Well, I'll see.

And if you kids want to have dinner,
champagne, caviar, and lobster.

Sure. Who is it? Bob Temple.

Oh, that's like going out with your Aunt
Tilly. And with a chaperone, yes.

I'm sorry, Bob, but they're all out to
dinner, except Myrtle, and she's asleep.

Hmm.

Well, all right.

Some other time, maybe.

Well, what are you waiting for? Why
don't you sit down?

Yeah, man.

Too solid and respectable. Just because
I was brought up like a gentleman.

I'll show her I can be just as big a cat
as anybody else.

If I wanted to pick up a strange girl...

Why,

Lady Trumbly, how are you?

I said, Lady Trumley, how are you?

Oh.

I'm sorry, but I think you all must have
made a mistake.

Not Lady Trumley.

Don't tell me there could be two women
as beautiful as you.

I'm sorry, but... Oh, I beg your pardon.

You see, I'm Bob Temple.

Not the Bob Temple.

Well, I suppose you could call me the
Bob Temple.

You see, I met Lady Trumley when she was
in America last year.

Lake Plissett, I believe.

Oh, that couldn't have been me. I went
in Palm Beach.

Oh, Palm Beach. Well, you've got quite a
burn.

Tell me...

Have you ever considered going on the
stage, Miss, uh, Miss, uh...

Hmm.

No, I haven't, and you flatter me to
death.

Well, you know, the stage needs women
like you, Miss Marshmallow.

You interest me, Mr. Temple. Won't you
sit down and rest your dogs?

How vulgar.

Well, how was I, Rochester?

You can't miss, Mr. Temple.

Boy, that was a performance.

Oh, no, that was just a rehearsal.

Tonight I'm going out and give a real
performance.

You mean I got to eat all this by
myself?

Yes, but I don't envy you.

Because when you're dining alone, I'll
be having fish and chips with a strange,

beautiful lady.

So long, Marshmallow.

Good luck, boys.

Well, if I got her, I got her.

It's time to get up, Mr. Bob.

It's almost lunchtime.

Looks like you had a great night, boss.

Yeah. Did you meet that strange,
beautiful lady?

I sure did.

And did you go over and give her that
sales talk?

I sure did.

You are now looking at a broken -down
Romeo as of last night.

Lady Trumley, how are you?

My, my.

Are you sure it was a woman who done
that, boss?

It was either a woman or a truck,
Rochester.

And I don't remember trying to pick up
any trucks last night.

Now my little black cupid if you run my
bath for me, I'll go downstairs and get

a bite to eat. Yes Your dames dimple I
have a table for you Are

you

all right

Oh, perfectly.

I'm very sorry. It was exceedingly
clumsy of me.

It certainly was.

Yes, wasn't it?

The telephone operator took this message
for you, Lady Arrington.

Would you care to order?

No, thanks.

Oh.

Oh, good heavens.

I didn't know that you'd hurt yourself.

Well, it was a rather nasty spill.

Yes, indeed.

Well, you should put some beefsteak on
that right away.

I should?

That's a nasty looking eye.

Oh, my eye.

I don't know what you must think of me
being so rude to you.

Oh, no. I thought you were positively
charming.

You see, I was a little upset. I waited
half an hour for my luncheon date, and

now I find that it's called off. Oh, how
fortunate.

Now, my luncheon date was called off,
too. Perhaps we could... Oh, no, no, no,

no. I'm afraid not.

Now, look, I'm solid and respectable,
and you're probably hungry. So why not?

You see, I... Yes.

Yes, why not?

Oh, fine.

Look at Bob.

He's doing all right.

Gee, this is fun.

Yes. Well, I am hungry, and I didn't
want you to get too bad an impression of

England at the temple.

Oh, I see you know my name.

Oh, yes. I heard the waiter mention it
when you stumbled.

Oh. And I am Lady... Frumley?

Oh, no. No. Lady Arlington.

Oh.

Oh, hello, folks.

Hello, Bob.

Hello.

by any chance jealous, are you?

Jealous of Bob?

Don't be silly.

But I'd hate to have him fall into the
clutches of a certain type of blonde.

What will you have, Mr. Temple?

Fish and chips and a couple of bottles
of gin.

Oh.

Good afternoon, Lady Arlington. Good
afternoon. Is my husband in? I'm sorry.

Sir John left explicit orders not to be
disturbed.

A very important meeting. Oh, yes. I'm
sure it must be. It can't be much

Sir John hasn't lunched yet. I know. I
know. The room is all over town.

And remember, if one word of this leaks
out, I'll fire the whole organization.

And that goes for you, too.

Yes. I want to see my attorneys this
afternoon.

Hello, darling.

Hello. You keep me waiting an hour for
lunch, then you calmly send word that

can't make it, and all you have to say
is hello?

Well, I said hello, darling.

Darling squares everything, I suppose.

Excuse me, dear, I'm getting Canada.

You know, Canada and North America.

Hello? Yes, I'll wait. I sometimes
wonder why you ever married me. Because

desperately in love with the sweetest...
Hello?

Are you getting them, operator?

This is what you're in love with.

You spend all your life here.

Hello, Canada?

No, no, I want to talk to Jared.

Yes. Oh, by the way, my dear, I invited
the French industrialist Henri Dubois

and his wife up for the weekend.

That's splendid.

I've never met them, but don't let that
bother you.

Well, I can't help it. Oh, hello?

Hello, Jared, Sir John.

Well, will you give me the daily figures
for this month?

What were you saying, dear?

Oh, nothing, nothing.

I'll save it for tonight.

You, uh, you will be home tonight, won't
you?

No, no, I've got to spend the night in
town to work with the lawyers.

Hello? $28 ,646 .22.

You go ahead, dear. I can hear what
you're saying, and I'm terribly sorry

that lunch. I had lunch with a very
charming young man.

Oh, that's fine.

I always said the royals serve the best
ten -shilling lunch in town.

He was an actor, an American actor.

Yes? What?

All right, skip the second and give me
the third. You go ahead, dear. Tell me

what you had for lunch.

An actor in a large bowl of soup.

Ah, what kind of soup?

I don't remember, but he was very
charming, very attractive. He made

love to me, and furthermore, I
encouraged him.

That's $32 ,322 .84.

Is that right?

How about dessert?

Oh, for dessert, I shot him.

Did you really?

Tea or coffee?

I don't remember, but one of these days
I'm going to shoot you, too.

Oh, that's fine.

Go on, dear, tell me, who was the lady
you had lunch with?

Is that the same one, or did you get a
refill?

It's the same one, Rochester. But if you
must know, I had lunch with a strange,

beautiful lady.

You did?

Congratulations. Who was she?

Said her name was Lady Arlington.

Lady Arlington.

That's a good one.

Who'd you say you was?

Prince Charming, Smarty.

Did you get her phone number?

Rochester, you never ask a title lady
for her phone number. We just had lunch.

Man, that's like reading one page and
throwing away the book.

Sorry I'm late, folks, but I was
detained at lunch.

And very pleasantly, too.

You were doing all right in the
restaurant, Bob.

Where's the blonde?

She's probably still eating.

Very good, Miss Wilson, very good.

Now, going from my personal affairs to
your career, how about running through

your song for me?

All right, play it again.

Madame, may I suggest escargots de
Bourgogne?

No, merci.

Then perhaps coquilles Saint -Jacques au
naturel?

No, I don't think so.

Well, how about some lobster?

Lobster? No.

Thank you. I don't see anything there
that I really want.

I'm hungry for something, but it seems
so far away.

sandwich that we shared one day

you're hungry for something nothing
fancy

You know, I'm hungry for something.

Like one of those terrific dinners at
the Ritz.

Hey, two coffees and one sandwich.

Yes, sir. Take it easy.

We only got two beds.

You know, I'm hungry for something.

Like a big filet mignon en champignon
and a bit of biscoffier, too.

One ham on white.

Look.

Cut it in half. It's for two.

Broke though we are, there's a charm
that sees us through, dear.

Broke though we are, I can feast my eyes
on you, dear.

You know, someday we'll remember.

When we're wealthy.

Yes, and doing fine.

That sentimental sandwich.

That was yours and mine

Gee,

we were poor And though fate has changed
our scenery

That was sure realistic.

Speaking of soulful looks, who was that
lady you had lunch with today?

Oh, that really was a lady, and I'm glad
you recognized it. She's Lady Arlington

of the English aristocracy.

If she's a member of the aristocracy,
I'm Napoleon.

Well, stick your hand in your vest,
because she is.

Anyway, she was attractive.

Didn't you think so, Diana?

I really didn't get a very good look at
her.

Oh, you didn't?

I thought you were counting her
eyelashes.

Where do you get that Lady Arlington
stuff? You couldn't get near the English

aristocracy. Oh, I couldn't, eh?

Well, it might interest you to know that
right now my tailor is making me a coat

of arms.

And with two pair of pants.

Oh, Rochester.

Rochester, I'm expecting a phone call
from Lady Arlington.

Yes, sir. I'll let you know directly as
she calls.

Listen, Rochester, I want you to go back
to the hotel, call me up, and say

you're Lady Arlington.

Lady Arlington?

Shall I put a dress on?

No, don't bother. I'll use my
imagination.

Now hurry up.

You mean I got to miss the rest of the
rehearsal?

Boss, you're ruining my professional
career.

Well, I'm afraid you'll have to choose
between being my valet and being an

actor. Yeah, I know, boss, but I don't
get no applause for shining your shoes.

Rochester, if you don't make that phone
call immediately, you're going to enjoy

the unique distinction of looking for
two jobs at the same time.

Okay, boss. Lady Arlington.

I'm afraid tonight will be a little
dull, but tomorrow or the other weekend,

guests will be here, and it'll be much
livelier.

My dear Lady Arlington, please do not
worry about us. No, you mustn't. Here we

come, interrupting all your plans.

Oh, but you haven't, really.

I beg your pardon.

Monsieur Dubois has wanted on the
telephone, Sir John's office.

Oh, vous permettez. M 'il vous plait.

I'll be but a moment.

You will be but a moment, or I will come
and drag you back by the whisker.

You know.

I have Henri on an allowance.

One moment for business, two moments for
me.

Really? When I was first married, Henri
is always away with the business, you

know? Oh, yes, indeed, I know.

So, one day when Henri come home late,
he find me dancing with a charming young

man. So, after that, Henri, he come home
early.

Yes, but your husband is French.

Inside, they are all jealous. I show
you. He's coming here for the weekend.

Somebody, you could make him jealous
with me.

I'm afraid not.

Can't think of anybody.

Don't you know any poets?

Poets are always good.

The only poet I know is Shakespeare.

Oh, no, no, no, no. He is no good.

He is dead.

Ah, well.

No poet.

Let's see. Do you have a good master?

No, I don't use one. Oh, no poet, no
master.

An actor. They are always good.

No, I don't know an actor either.

Yes, I do.

I know one.

One is enough.

Oh, but no. I'm afraid I can't ask him.
I don't know him very well, and my

husband's never met him. Well, all the
better.

Ask your actor here.

And if you cannot use him, I can.

Come, my child.

Let us telephone him at once.

Hey, Admiral.

Admiral, come here a minute. I want to
talk to you. What do you want?

I don't like this at all.

A lot of old stuff. We've got to have
something new.

This good act, we do this 20 years.

Well, I don't like it.

Oh, you don't like it?

No.

Why you don't like it?

Well, because it's old. Gee, you said
yourself you've been doing it for 25

years. I say 20 years.

Oh, 20 years.

Oh, well, that's different. I thought
you said 25.

Hey, what am I thinking of?

Say, you know, that's a pretty good act
when you get close. Yeah, you were too

close.

you, Mr. Temple.

I wish you wouldn't interrupt me when
I'm busy.

Who is it? Lady Arlington.

Oh, Lady Arlington. Well, why didn't you
say so?

Well, she can be calling me up for it
this hour. Well, you never know.

Hello, darling.

Why, yes, this is Lady Arlington.

I know that you're going to think this
is awfully presumptuous of me, but...

Come down tomorrow for the weekend?

Why, I'd love to.

Oh, that would be delightful.

No, no, I've never met the Duchess.

I'll bet $50 there's something phony
going on around here. I'd bet another

but I don't think we'd have any takers.

I'll take both bets. How could you prove
it? You'd show up Monday and say you

were at Lady Arlington's and met a
Duchess.

On the 510?

Oh, I'm sure I can make it.

Oh, Lady Arlington, would you like me to
bring a couple of people from the show?

They sing, you know.

They might amuse the guests.

That would be marvelous.

You sure they don't mind?

No, not at all. It'll be a pleasure. And
you won't have to worry about them.

They can eat with the servants.

Thank you very much.

Goodbye, Lady Arlington.

Well, folks, you've all been so good
that tomorrow morning we're going to

final rehearsal and you can have the
weekend off.

Gee, the weekend off.

Now, remember, tomorrow on the 510.

And, Ted, for heaven's sake, when I
introduce you to the Duchess... Please

say, hello, duchy.

Goodbye, everybody.

Well, I'm beginning to think that we're
out $50 apiece. Me too, but I'm going to

find out.

Lady Arlington, the duchess. Is Mr.
Temple gone?

Yes, he just left. Who wants him? Lady
Arlington.

Lady Arlington? Hey, give me that.

Hello, Lady Arlington?

Yep, this is me, boss.

Lady Arlington is still.

Baby, we're in $100 and a million
laughs.

Well, it won't be long now.

I hope you brought that $100 with you,
Ted. You know, I always like to tip the

servants handsomely. Oh, I got it all
right. But you don't mind if I don't

it over till the last second, my Yankee
blood, you know.

Well, I can wait, I guess.

Oh, thank you very much. That's
perfectly all right.

Bob, I'm afraid I misjudged you. I
didn't realize that in your own quiet

were a good bit of a ladies' man.

Well, I never like to brag about those
things.

Naturally. Tell me, is this thing
serious?

Do you expect to marry the girl?

Oh, I hadn't thought of marriage.

After all, a fellow can't be expected to
marry every girl he goes out with, can

he? No, I guess not.

If I did that, I'd have been arrested
for a bigamy a long time ago.

In fact, I could have been in prison at
the age of 12.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard
what you said about committing

bigamy at the age of 12.

That's a good one, isn't it?

Oh, but that's not so funny about him.

He's probably the greatest heartbreaker
in three continents.

Oh, Diana.

Yes, sir. This man has probably broken
up more homes than Contract Bridge.

Oh, he doesn't look it.

That's what's so funny about it.

Yes.

Well, I'm glad I've been warned.

I'll never let you come into my house,
young man. I'm too fond of my wife.

You're very lucky not to know it. Why,
tonight he's seeing a lady that... Well,

if her name ever came out, it would be
the biggest scandal England ever had.

It might mean war.

I wouldn't be surprised.

You wouldn't be surprised.

Well, I'm glad to have seen all of you.

Especially this scoundrel here.

Doppler? Say, this is Doppler. Come on.

Here you go, kid. Thank you.

A beautiful country here, isn't it? Yes.

Well, I've certainly got to hand it to
Bob. He's kept up this bluff longer than

I thought anybody could.

I don't like his confidence. If I hadn't
heard Rochester on that phone... Oh, so

you're getting off here, too? Yes.

Well, I hope you'll enjoy it here. I'm
staying over at Lady Arlington's.

I beg your pardon. Did you say Lady
Arlington's?

Why, yes. Do you know her? She happens
to be a very intimate friend of mine.

I'm going up there for the weekend.

Oh, are you?

What an odd coincidence.

I happen to be going there myself.

Well, say, that's swell.

I beg your pardon. My name is Temple.

Mr., uh, Mr., uh... Arlington. Sir John
Arlington.

I'm Lady Arlington's husband.

Oh.

Oh! Oh! Well, I'll... I'll be seeing
you. Yes.

Ted. Well, Romeo, ten more minutes and
the beautiful lady will be in your arms.

She will not.

Why, Bob, are you getting tired of your
latest conquest already?

Dan, I want you to meet a friend of
mine. That's the trouble with you, Clay,

boys. Women are just like toys to men
like you. Beautiful countryside here,

isn't it? Yeah. Why, not less than an
hour ago, you were telling me... Well,

I'll be darned. Look, a cow with a
monocle. There is not. There is two, and

leave it to Sir John Arlington, Lady
Arlington's husband.

in a spot like this in my life.

And all because you had to blow your
mouth off. Me? What did I say?

You practically said that no woman was
safe if I was anywhere in the vicinity.

Well, it was really you that said that.
I just repeated it.

And to whom did you repeat it?

To him.

To her husband.

Maybe you can lie out of it. Tell Sir
John that there's never been anything

between you and Lady Arlington.

What do you mean, lie?

Are you implying that there has been
anything between us? Well, I thought

Oh, never mind what I said.

I hardly know the woman.

At one right, she had to call me up
anyhow.

She knew she was married.

It's blackmail.

Blackmail? Of course. Her husband is
probably in cahoots with her.

Well, that settles it.

What are you doing?

Getting out of here. That's what I'm
doing.

You can't do that, Bob. If you run out
now, you're admitting you're guilty.

when Arlington kills you, there's no
jury in the world who'll convict him.

if Arlington kills me, I really won't
care whether they convict him or not.

Don't lose your nerve, Bob. We'll bluff
it out. Yeah, how can we bluff it out

with everything you've said? I don't
know what I've said. I've said so many

things. Yeah, and the most important
thing you said was that the girl was

to be here tonight at this party.

All right, there'll be a lot of people
here. Pick out a girl, play up to her.

Arlington doesn't know what girl we're
talking about. Pick out a girl, eh?

with my luck, she'll be married, and
then her husband will kill me, too.

No matter how you figure it, I'm a dead
pigeon.

Hello?

Yeah, this is me, boss.

Is that you?

How are you making out at the party?

I'm making out fine. I'll tell you all
about it when I get back.

But right now, you've got to do
something for me. Get the car and bring

those showgirls up here.

Well, I sort of plan on using the car
myself.

Oh, I just hate to ruin your weekend,
Rochester, but I need the car, and

besides, it happens to be mine.

Well, it also happens to be out of gas.

Out of gas?

Well, it was full when I left.

Yeah, I know.

But them termites will drink anything.

Never mind about the termites. Now get
one of those showgirls and drive up here

as fast as you can.

Well, I don't know if I can get a hold
of one of them showgirls, boss.

You know, you told them they could have
the night off.

Well, say I've changed my mind. Say
there's a special rehearsal. Say

but get the girl.

Okay, boss, I'll try.

Don't say you'll try, Rochester. You've
got to do it. It's a matter of life and

death.

Is you in the jam, boss?

I certainly is in the jam.

And if you don't hurry out here, it
might be too late.

You know, you're giving me a terrible
case of curiosity.

Don't you want to give me no hint even?

Yes, I'll give you a hint.

Unless you're here with a girl inside of
an hour, you're fired.

You want a better hint than that, do
you?

No, sir.

Oh, in Rochester?

Yes, Mr.

Bob. Put back that cigar.

Yes, sir.

Well, that was about the best dinner
I've ever had.

It was?

I was too nervous to eat anything.

Every time I raised my fork to my mouth,
I saw Arlington with his eyes on me.

Hey, did you ever notice those cold,
steely eyes on a man? That guy's a

How could you see his eyes? You were
sitting about 40 feet from him.

I used field glasses and shot up.

Well, are you enjoying yourself,
gentlemen?

Yes, indeed, Sir John. Yes, yes.

Oh, that's fine.

What I always say is enjoy yourself
today, because tomorrow you may be dead.

Well, that's a good way to feel, eh,
Bob? Oh, it certainly is. You know, you

have quite a place here, Sir John.

Yes, it is rather a nice place.

And very convenient for business, too.
Of course, it doesn't compare with our

place in Scotland.

But then we only go there for the
shooting season.

You shoot well?

I don't like to brag about it, but...

That's one thing I really can do.

I remember in America once I hit a deer
that was a quarter of a mile away from

me.

Is something the matter?

Oh, no, no, no. I get these attacks
occasionally.

Well, I'd watch out for that if I were
you. A friend of mine had the same

Died very suddenly, the poor fellow.

Am I making you nervous? Oh, no, no, no.
I was just trying to get the cup off of

the saucer, you know.

Yes, this poor fellow died without
making a will and had a lot of trouble

lawyers.

By the way, have you made yours yet?

What's the matter? Won't I have time?

You never can tell. Here today and gone
tomorrow. That's what I always say.

Yeah, I say it too.

I say it.

So, John, I think we should do a little
work now, eh? I'll be with you in a

moment. Well, I'll see you later. I
can't tell you how much I enjoyed this

little chat.

Me too.

And take it easy.

You're a long time dead, you know.

Bob, you're shaking like a leaf.

Shaking like a leaf? What's a leaf got
to shake about?

Temple! Yes?

Your chauffeur is held on.

Rochester. Now, who'd think I'd ever be
happy to see him?

Lead on, my friend.

Please. What do you think this is, Hyde
Park?

Hey, what's the meaning of this?

Well, I hunted iron low, boss, and this
is all of our show people I could find.

Come here, Rochester. I want a quiet
word with you.

Yes, sir.

Listen, I asked you to bring me one
girl, one.

And you bring me a dozen of them and
those six musical pool players.

Well, that's all I started to bring one
girl, but none of them would come.

So I told them, like you said, it was a
rehearsal at Lady Arlington's. Then they

all wanted to come.

Rochester, that was a stroke of genius.

Yes, sir.

Is there anything the matter?

I know I shouldn't have done this, Lady
Arlington, but I thought your guests

might enjoy hearing some American swing
music from our company.

Practically our entire company.

I think that would be wonderful.

Oh, what a pleasant surprise, Mr.
Temple.

Yes, wasn't it?

Yes.

Do have them come in.

Hotchkiss, see that they're made
comfortable, will you?

Very good, my lady.

Thank you. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

While you take care of these people, I
will take care of your actor.

Then I turn him over to you, and you do
the rest.

It's France and England together again,
defending the home. You won't mind if I

flirt with him a little myself.

You know, my husband is in the study,
too.

I promise you, I won't be jealous.

Bob, why should I pretend I'm in love
with you?

Never mind why.

Just pretend for the night, and I'll
raise your salary $5 a week.

I'm not that good an actress. Not for a
small raise like that.

Look, if I wanted a good actress, I'd
get Helen Hayes.

How about $10?

$10?

Would I have to kiss you?

Well, later on, in front of everybody.
You know, as though you couldn't resist

me. You'd be surprised how I could
resist you for a $10 a week raise.

Well, then what do you want?

A dancing specialty beside my song.

A dancing special, you can't dance that
well.

I know I can't, but it's either that or
you don't get kissed.

Oh, all right.

There goes my show.

Ah, Mr. Temple.

Lady Arlington says I am to take care of
you.

Take care of me? Why, am I in danger?
Yes, you are in big danger.

In big... from whom?

For me?

Oh. I am a very dangerous woman. Yes.
Come, I will show you how dangerous I

Well, look, does your husband allow you
to walk with strange men like this? Oh,

no, no, no. He absolutely forbids it.
But from what I hear, you are not afraid

of husbands, eh?

Well, yes and no.

You know, this is about the most
romantic place in the whole garden.

Yes, it's very nice here.

Won't you?

Well...

Yes.

Then what do you say to redeeming my
preferred stock for 104?

No, 104 is too high.

You're still too high.

104 is too high.

Well, I don't want to bargain.

You know, if a man wanted to steal a
kiss, this would be the ideal place.

Nobody could see it.

Don't say anything, my friend.

Are you angry?

Oh, no, no.

Of course I'm not angry.

Why should I be?

Well, if you think 103 is too much.

103 is a fair price. As a matter of
fact, it ought to be 104.

No, no, no. 104 is too much. I think
103.

Well, let's split it. 103 and a half.
You sign the contracts first, and I'll

sign them after you.

You are not very impulsive, Mr. Temple.

Are you? Oh, yes, I am. That's why I
watch myself so carefully.

Oh, there's our hostess.

And now, if you will sit.

All right.

How about the common stock? Is that in
your wife's name? Oh, no, that is my

You know, this is really the most
secluded spot in the garden.

So I've heard.

What do you think would be a fair offer?

No, no, no. You're selling. You name it.

Well, what do you say?

Well, I'm still waiting.

Mr. Dubois, is anything the matter?

Just good fun, eh?

Yes, yes.

You didn't see where the girl was by any
chance? Oh, no, no, no.

Let's not look. It wouldn't be cricket,
would it? That's right. It would not be

cricket.

to our wives and sweethearts. Yes, to
our wives and sweethearts. What we don't

know about them won't hurt us, eh?

Right -o.

Come in.

What is it, Hotchkiss?

The music has already begun, sir.

I suppose we might as well go down and
face the music. Oh, we promised.

That hangs around the bandstand all
night long He's wacky, he's goofy, he's

dizzy He goes slightly crazy when they
play his favorite song Who is he? I ask

you, who is he?

It's fidgety George Doesn't care to
dance or sing But when those swing hats

start to swing He's beating out the
rhythm blow by blow That's fidgety

Shakes his head from side to side When
Mr.

Trumpet takes a ride Don't ask him what
he's doing, he don't know He says music

sends him, sends him out of his head But
there's nothing that sends him home to

bed He's the whole show Can't read
notes, he's not that smart But he knows

lick by heart The great Stokowski of the
second row There he sits, throwing fish

He doesn't care to dance the thing.

But when those swing cats start to
swing, he's beating out that rhythm blow

blow.

Bitchy Joe just shakes his head from
side to side when Mr. Trumpet takes

that ride. Don't ask him what he's
doing. He don't know.

Bye.

Kiss. A deal's a deal, you know.

Goodbye, darling.

Don't forget my name and lights.

Goodbye.

You little crook.

Goodbye.

Oh,

just a moment.

Do you do that with everybody?

Why, I'm surprised at you, Sir John,
asking such a question.

That young lady happens to be my
fiancée.

You remember, I was talking about her on
the train.

Fiancée? Yes.

I wonder if that little girl knows what
she's getting into.

Well, Mr. Temple, Monsieur Dubois would
like to see you in Sir John's study

upstairs.

Dubois? What does he want to do, kiss me
too?

I wouldn't know, sir.

Is your name Rochester?

Yeah, man, that's me.

What an odd -looking person you are,
aren't you?

Well, I wouldn't talk, brother.

You're the only man I ever saw that
looked like he was sucking a lemon and

wasn't.

Follow me to your quarter, sir.

I understand you're a meaning over.

Oh, that's fine.

I ain't weekended in the country for
some time.

Say, this is a nice place you got here.
It's not mine.

I'm Hotchkiss, the butler.

Well, what do you know?

That's my racket, too.

Racket? Yeah.

How long you been doing this?

I've been employed in this honorable
profession for a number of years, as was

father before me and his father before
him.

My, my.

Your family sure is in a rut.

You saw?

I saw, but that is not all. It is like
you conjugate a verb. I saw, you saw,

he saw.

He saw.

Need I say more?

Time flies.

Well, time has nothing on me. Thank you,
my friend. Once more, America's

indebted to France.

I shall always remember a brave man
under the husband's very nose.

Well, if you ever get under a husband's
nose, don't hesitate to call on me.

Oh, a peeping Tom.

Oh, but Diane.

Hey, thank you.

They promised they would be here in time
for the show, did they not?

What's a promise among husbands?

Well, I hope we're off to a good start.
Keep your fingers crossed, Rochester.

Can't. I'm hanging on to my rabbit's
foot.

Well, for goodness sake, where'd you get
that?

I bought it.

I figured if one rabbit's foot makes
Lady Luck smile, one more to make her

hysterical.

Hey, give me a foot. I'm going to need
it right now.

Good luck, Diana.

Thank you.

Guess I had the wrong foot.

Well, you invite her up to a strange
place and sneak out on her.

I don't want to hear another word about
what happened at Lady Arlington's.

As far as I'm concerned, she's in the
dim, dark past.

As far as I'm concerned, she's in the
front row center.

What?

You couldn't pray that rabbit in for a
black cat, could you?

There's a breeze like sandalwood

enchantment in my heart.

This will cost only a diamond ring, a
mink coat, and about four nights' means.

There we are.

Any more, Gibson?

No, Sir John.

That's the last one.

Well, we are partners at last. Partners
at last.

Oh, I didn't realize we'd gone through
this bottle.

Oh, thank you and good night, Gibson.

Good night, Sir John.

A toast, Andre.

Now that we are partners, may we have no
troubles from our enemies and no

secrets from each other.

Excellent. I agree to that.

I don't think I've been quite fair with
you.

So, John, what do you mean?

Oh, I didn't realize. Here we are,
partners. There must be no secrets.

I have something to confess.

Well, first let me tell you.

I have kept secrets from you, too.

No, no, your confession comes later.
This was my idea, and I'm going to come

clean first. No, you do not even dream
this. This concerns that American, that

actor. Bob Temple.

I know whom he kissed on that bench.

You know?

No, I saw.

You saw?

With my own eyes. Oh, I was afraid of
that.

What do you intend doing? What can I do?
If it were just some girl, I would keep

my mouth closed. But a wife. Yes, a
wife, of course.

And whose wife?

Whose wife?

My partner's.

What did you say?

Oh, I know this will hurt you, my
friend. But I must tell you, I saw this

kiss your wife.

You laugh.

You are hysterical. You must control
yourself.

But you do not blame me for telling you.
If it were my wife, you would tell me,

no?

Forgive me.

But that's what I was about to confess
to you.

What? I saw him kiss your wife. My wife?
Yes.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, too. My wife is a
brunette. This lady is a blonde.

A blonde?

Now, I saw him kiss your wife.

As you wish, but I saw him kiss your
wife.

Wait a minute. Are you positive?

Beyond a doubt.

Well, I... Hmm, hurry.

This man has been kissing both our
wives, don't you see?

But of course.

We can't do this to us. I will cut his
throat from ear to ear.

Easy, easy.

We're due at the theater, aren't we? And
our wives are there. Maybe being kissed

by him. Come.

Yes.

And we'd like you to see at least part
of the second act.

Yes, we'll be right down, my dear.

Your choice.

I take this one.

They are loaded?

Of course.

I have not shot for a long time.

Pardon?

By all means.

And now to the theater.

Oh, Diana.

Yes? We're ahead.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

You look lovely tonight, Diane.

Thanks.

Diane, I swear, Lady Arlington never
meant anything to me.

I only did... Look out. She might hear
you. She's sitting in the front row, as

you probably know.

I don't care where she's sitting. Will
you listen to me? In a word, no.

Then will you listen to her, Lady
Arlington? How can I? She and I don't

in the same set.

Well, look, if I get her backstage after
the show, will you listen to her?

Maybe I listen, but I don't promise to
believe.

Here, give us that lady in the front
row.

The blonde filly?

Yes, and she's not a filly. Her name's
Lady Ollie.

Sultan Suleiman the Ridiculous.

My loyal subjects, fellow countrymen,
gentlemen, and, uh, and, uh,

who are these girls, Allie Rochester?

Them? Them's your wives.

My wives?

Well, looks like I hit the jackpot.

Hello, girls.

Hello, Sultan.

Very nice.

Very nice.

That's only the freshman team. The
varsity's out scrimmaging.

Oh, you mean there's more?

Well, well, here comes the varsity team.

No, there's nothing like a quiet evening
at home.

Hey, what's the meaning of this?

Your Majesty, we're two of your most
loyal subjects.

Well, thanks very much, boys.

Now, what's on your mind?

If it's not too much trouble, I want my
wife back.

Why, of course.

Who's got your wife?

You have, Your Majesty.

Oh.

There she is. The second from the right,
sir.

Oh, you mean that cute one there?

Yes, her name is Toots.

Well, that's fine. Suppose all husbands
wanted their wives back. Where would I

be?

Take these men out and have them shot.

All right, Sergeant, you've got us. But
I warn you, some husband is going to

kill you very soon.

Is that so?

On with the dance. I shall have no more
interruptions.

I'm not afraid of any husband in the
world.

I beg your pardon, sir.

Lady Arlington?

I must call my broker.

What's the

matter, boss?

Something happen?

Sir John is out hunting, and it's not
for grouse.

My, my, what are we going to do? I don't
know, and I'd better do it quick.

Hey, Musselman, come here. I want to see
you in my dressing room a minute.

What's about? I'm going to give you a
big job. I'm going to make you my

bodyguard. Bodyguard?

What is a bodyguard? What do you think
of it? Somebody that guards a body. A

dead body?

I don't know yet. I'm waiting for the
inquest. Come on.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

What are you doing here?

Why, you invited us here.

I know, but your husband's...

Who y 'all want?

Is that you, Rochester?

Yeah, Miss Diana, that's me.

Is Mr. Temple there?

No, he all ain't in.

Y 'all got a message for him?

Yes. Tell Mr. Temple that I just saw
Rochester leaving the theater.

I sure got back here fast, didn't I?

Come on, Bob. Open the door. You said
you wanted me to listen to some

explanation.

Later, Diana.

I can't let you in now. I'm changing my
clothes.

If you're changing your clothes, don't
you think you ought to send those two

ladies outside while you do it?

It's your last chance. I'm going.

Diana.

I stumbled.

You've met Miss Wilson, and of course
you've met your wives.

If you ladies will step outside a
minute.

Oh, no, please.

This conference was called especially
for me. For you?

Yes. All right, Bob, let's have your
explanations.

Well, if everybody will stop acting like
two -year -olds, I can settle this

whole thing with one simple little
question.

Lady Arlington, tell them, have I ever
made love to you?

As no woman was ever made love to
before.

There you are.

What?

From that very first day in the
restaurant, when you rushed over to my

swept me off my feet.

Who, me?

And then when I told you that I was
happily married, you threatened to kill

yourself at my feet.

I did?

Then what then?

What then?

After all, he was too young to die.

Too young to die.

No, he isn't.

Excuse me. Mrs. Temple?

Junior's been crying for you.

Oh, thank you, Rochester.

Mrs. Temple?

Junior?

Baby or no baby, I'm... Quiet.

Now look what you've done. You've
awakened Junior.

And after all, you can't make an offer
out of this poor little child.