Original subtitles

How come we're not outrunning them?

Because this is more fun.

Nothing fun about being captured by Belerons.

They wouldn't capture us, you know that.

They'd kill us.

Even less fun.

Look, why don't we draw them out into the flats?

No, go for full burn.

Look, we don't have to abort this mission.

That's an order.

Aye aye, captain.

Have we slowed down?

Land. Now.

They're within striking distance.

Put her down, right by those trees.

I want you to use the docking thrusters to minimize output.

Put everything you got left into the stinger.

- Stinger, you won't get lift! - Just do it.

All right.

And now, Mr. Wray Nerely.

Crap all over creations… son of a bisque.

Okie dokie.

Who wants to watch that clip a fifth time?

Oh! I'm with you. You can boo all you want.

Boo.

I'm doing it, too.

Boo.

- Boo. - Boohwee.

We almost didn't get out of there with our lives.

Night's fallen.

It's gonna be a cold one.

I'm gonna build us some fire.

That's warm.

Okay, thanks.

Lenny, for God's sakes, don't drink so much.

♪ Lenny, you don't really think so much ♪

♪ Do you?

♪ Everything is just a thing to touch to you ♪

♪ Just dreaming of your stinking hutch ♪

- George, tell me about the rabbits. - Jesus! No.

No, we got us a good thing lined up at this ranch we're headed to.

I don't want you screwing it up, like you done last time.

I swear, every time I think we're settled…

♪ I turn around, and bang

♪ We're in hot water

♪ Turn around and bang

♪ The job is gone

♪ Turn around, a gang is out there chasing us ♪

♪ And dang, there ain't no place for us ♪

♪ We've gotta move on

♪ Turn around and…

♪ If I was alone, I could live so easy ♪

♪ Make my own way, No one steering me wrong ♪

♪ Spend my pay on whatever would please me ♪

♪ Stay in a cat house all night long ♪

♪ Buy me a meal, eat whenever I want ♪

♪ Bottle of whiskey to wash it down ♪

♪ Just when I get to thinking on it ♪

♪ Then, doggone it

♪ Turn around and…

♪ Bang?

♪ My wife is fine, but a bit too fast ♪

♪ And to keep her in line I have got to keep asking ♪

♪ To see where she goes and when she makes passes ♪

♪ Now here come those two horses asses ♪

♪ That guy is massive, but slow as molasses ♪

♪ Easy to smash him if we get to wrasslin' ♪

♪ Ain't gonna dampen my love for my lass ♪

♪ I mean, look at my hand and this glove full of Vaseline

♪ Got you by the short and curlies ♪

♪ Got you by the short and curlies ♪

♪ Got you by the short and curlies ♪

♪ Got you by the short and curlies ♪

♪ Death be a-coming down, Sweet death… ♪

♪ Death be a-coming down…

Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

♪ Death…

Argh.

♪ Dea…

George, when we gonna live on the farm with the rabbits?

Soon, Lenny.

Why, before you know it…

- ♪ Turn around, and bang - ♪ Bang

♪ Well, it's so easy

♪ Turn around and bang

♪ Bang

♪ We'll have it made

♪ Turn around and hang your hat and trowel up ♪

♪ Ain't nothing gonna foul up

♪ These plans that we've laid…

Tell me about the farm again.

♪ Well it's just ten acres, got a little windmill ♪

♪ Orchards growing up good and high ♪

♪ And when that orchard fruit come in ♪

♪ We'll can it up and put it by

♪ When the alfalfa sprouts, you'll grab it ♪

♪ Stuff it into a sack by hand

♪ Then you can feed it to the rabbits ♪

♪ We'll live off the fat of the land ♪

♪ Living off the fat of the land

Hey!

Whoo hoo!

No one wants to talk to me.

It ain't fair.

I ain't hiding nothing.

Uh, me neither. You seem like a deep thinker.

Still waters, huh?

♪ Lenny for your thoughts

♪ Do you think I'm pretty?

♪ Lenny for your thoughts

♪ Do you like my dress?

♪ Don't you think I ought to be living in the city? ♪

♪ Instead of stuck here in this mess ♪

♪ Tell me what you think

♪ Don't you think I'm something?

♪ Could've been in pictures

♪ Could've been in diamonds and furs ♪

♪ Here I'm held in the hands of Curley ♪

♪ That bumpkin

♪ But pumpkin, I could be in yours ♪

♪ Lenny for your thoughts

♪ What's going on up here?

♪ Did you hear what I said?

- ♪ Wait, is that puppy dead? - You got pretty hair.

That's my wig.

Stop it. Stop!

Ouch, you're hurting me.

Get away from me.

You smell like manure--

Argh!

Ouch.

Bite me!

Ouch.

Are you okay?

Man: She's dead! Come on now.

- Man 2: He went that way. - Man 3: I saw him…

Lenny. Lenny, this way.

George, I did something bad.

- ♪ It's okay, Lenny - George, I've done something bad.

- ♪ It's okay, Lenny - George, George.

- Tell me about the rabbits. - ♪ I'll tell you about the rabbits ♪

♪ Look out and see the rabbits

♪ Can you see?

♪ In my mind I can see things clearly ♪

♪ I'm not confined by what I can touch ♪

♪ In my dreams I can be more agile ♪

♪ People, I'm so fragile

♪ And I can tend my hutch

♪ Guys like us ain't got no family ♪

♪ But George and me, well, we're a pair ♪

♪ We'll just live, how simple that'll be ♪

♪ And I can see it over there ♪

♪ We'll have a cow and a pig and chickens ♪

♪ Nobody telling us what to do ♪

♪ We'll be together in thin and thick and ♪

♪ we'll stick together, me and you ♪

- ♪ It's gonna be like we been planning ♪ - ♪ Turn around and bang

♪ Rabbits playing, night and noon ♪

- ♪ We'll live off the fat of the land ♪ - ♪ Turn around and bang

♪ And George and me gonna go there soon ♪

♪ Turn around and…

Aha! Here are the shitheads.

God dammit, God dammit, this--

What in the piss hell are you goddamned assholes doing down here?

My convention is ruined.

Every single convention-goer is complaining.

There's gonna be a riot!

You know what, don't worry about it.

It sounds like you got a problem, and we can turn it around.

We can… All: ♪ Turn around and

Shut up!

What the hell is that? Why are you singing?

Y'all look like a bunch of jackasses!

I'm ruined.

People are gonna think that the Long Con is a scam.

- Listen… - Oh, great, is that a firearm?

Uh, no, no, this isn't. This is a prop.

And the reason we're singing is because this is a musical!

Look, we may be able to save your con.

Nobody's seen this show.

We could make this a Long Con exclusive.

I like that look! What do you say, people?

- Come on! - I say get your asses out there,

and play that Long Con!

Come on, let's do it!

Come on, guys, Hall H! Hall H!

Where did everybody go?

Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time,

and workshopped right here in the basement

of the Long Con conference hall--

it's a long story--

and featuring a galaxy of science fiction stars,

I, Bucky Blankets, proudly presents,

Lou Ferrigno's musical version of "Of Mice and Men,"

"I'm With Stupid."

Dinner's almost ready.

Lenny, don't drink so much.

♪ Lenny, you don't really think so much, do you? ♪

♪ Everything is just a thing to touch ♪

Go get 'em. Get 'em.

Sounds like it's going so good.

I tried to get a wardrobe malfunction

but I'm gonna do it next time.

Wray, I hit you really hard, and I'm sorry.

I have a black eye now. You're not even supposed to hit me.

We switched roles. You're supposed to hit Lou.

I can't reach Lou!

Wray, I need some more Vaseline for my glove.

I don't know what happens to it.

Out of my way!

Karen, what's the next song?

Oh, I don't know.

I'm just a decoy for the real stage manager in case there's trouble.

The next song is "The Improbable Dream."

Thank you.

- Jack. - Wray, you're trending worldwide.

Your production is being streamed.

People are losing their minds over it.

It's already a meme, it's a.gif,

and it's questionable line of educational toys.

- That is amazing. - And I just got confirmation.

Thanks to you wearing the "Spectrum" logo,

we've officially been invited to the Chaka Con.

You did it!

The "Spectrum" movie is going to get the launch it deserves.

That's great. That's great.

Yes, it's great. You did a great job.

Okay, listen, buddy. I have to go

and christen a cruise ship,

but just wanted to say good work.

- Love ya, buddy. - Thanks, buddy. See ya.

Lou! Oh, my God, this…

You're a hit. This is a dream come true.

This is exactly what I needed.

I cannot wait to do this off-Broadway,

across from the Staples Center in Downtown LA.

No, no, no, Wray. Because of the buzz,

"I'm With Stupid" is going to the real off-Broadway.

Are you kidding? The real off-Broadway?

Oh, my God, we're going off-Broadway.

Listen, Wray, we need a name

that means something to the audience of off-Broadway.

We're looking for more of a leading man type to play George,

someone from England.

For the-- the role of George.

Oh, I get that. I get that.

They're very good at the stage work.

I'm sorry, Wray.

But I'd love to put a pin in you for the touring company.

Thank you.

This is it, buddy, we did it!

We're here, Chaka Con!

- Chaka Con! - Is the rest of the cast here?

I saw them for about 10 minutes,

and I'm already going crazy.

Hot Hemsworth has passed on "Doctor Cop Lawyer."

So I am Doctor Officer Blade Slater, Esquire?

They found a lost Hemsworth.

How many Hemsworths are there?

Who do I make this out to?

Uh, Gurth. Gurth Hemsworth.

I heard about your little Australian problem.

I'll get rid of them for you.

Did you just casually offer to murder someone?

See you, Jack. I got a couple of cameos to do.

Later, Stan.