Original subtitles

Maud, Maud. You're finally here.

Come on, join us. Come on. Pick up your dress.

Comfort yourself.

Yes. Massage yourself, Maude.

Massage as before.

If you only knew how much I missed you.

Every moment, every second.

Regret.

I regret so many things.

It's kind of lonely around here when you don't come to visit.

There's so much peace here. - Yes.

So.

Massage harder.

I also enjoy masturbating, when I have time.

Between two flights.

Idi Amin!

Idi Amin. Idi Amin. Come on, darling.

Yes, I shit now!

Hurry up. The plane is about to leave.

He left without us.

I'm late !

Hurry up !

Okay, I'm wiping my ass!

Idi Amin, vin.

Dirt! Damn white! Whore! (Name: Charlene Dodd, Stewardess)

What's going on here?

Your Excellency, please. (ATTEMPT OF GAS SUICIDE)

It was that day in which I decided to commit suicide.

If all the women they like color guys would do the same ...

It's awful.

I died before I found out.

Well ... they didn't allow it access of color to my hotel.

A loser! You're just a loser!

Yes Dear.

My mother warned me. My father warned me! - Yes Yes.

It has been confirmed. They were right!

I'm such an idiot. I was blinded by love.

Who would ever believe that we are on our honeymoon? Who?

I only did it twice in two weeks !

Twice, and even so ...

I need tenderness!

You heard me ?

You hear me ?

You spend all your time reading the newspaper!

And in St-Etienne, you had a reputation to be the biggest womanizer in town!

Yes it is ! A womanizer!

- Okay, okay, enough.

Yes, I imagined I did the best deal in the whole region!

Apparently, but that's not the case.

An egoist! This is you !

Un egoist nenorocit !

And I was pretty stupid to believe that you married me out of love.

When all this time, you were just after my father's business.

It always has been against our marriage.

Was right. He knew you weren't good at anything!

No ... Don't get mad.

You are good for nothing ! I'll say it again!

Anyway, I know you don't care of what people might think.

No no.

I warn you, if this continues, I'm going to divorce!

That way you'll say goodbye from my father's business and money.

Okay, that's it. That's enough.

It would be too easy.

Okay, you wanted us to get married.

But to deprive me of affection, I think it's not fair!

Good good.

But all that will change. You will see.

Yes Yes.

You must have earned my father's money!

Yes Yes.

Know...

Mother...

He called me last night.

Let's see how we are.

I didn't want to complain, so as not to alarm her.

You were pretty, pretty!

But I will not hesitate Tell yourself what's going on.

Once they get home.

No no.

Yes. Um ... no.

You know, I'll tell him everything!

Not. Should not be.

What you say ?

I'm saying ... um ... nothing!

Listen. You understand that it should to depend a little on you too?

Come with me to the laundry.

You're going to do the same to me.

Of course you wouldn't.

We don't bother here. (Name: Alice Lemieux, Hotel Employee)

Good. That's it ! I'm tired of you!

With you, I only have problems, get out !

(ATTEMPT OF SUICIDE BY DROWNING)

So that's why you wanted to die?

I was disgusted with my behavior.

Sex has become the only thing for which you live me,

it's the only thing I thought about.

As for you, we thought of you.

I think you were the only one who had a real reason to end your days.

Poor Penelope.

Poor naive girl.

Wake up, Penelope!

Wake up!

Penelope!

Penelope, wake up!

You don't have to smile like an idiot.

Use your smile on Edouard, if you want him to run your shitty record later.

Following the...

our telephone conversation

from the 23rd of this month ...

Does the smoke bother you?

We confirm,

that we will ensure the retransmission of all concerts.

Of all the pop music concerts ...

from the Kampala festival.

The other concerts will be broadcast ...

at different times.

We will also ensure running various commercials ...

... on our channel.

Miss, you sent Mr. check. Vial?

Yes, sir. He left this morning.

Good. Let's continue.

On the other hand, we reserve ...

exclusively ...

that other subsequent retransmissions

on our other channels ...

of these concerts in Kampala.

Furthermore...

regarding copyright,

We request...

Write here the usual formula of politeness ...

Please ... etc, etc.

So.

Very good, honey. It's perfect.

Alain is a nice guy, but not very important.

He's friends with José, the director of the show.

Ah shit! Damn cable!

We need to fix this.

Shit!

How can anyone work like that?

Shit!

Clearly, José was not the type of gentleman.

But if he says a single word to Edouard, is in Hit Parade!

I hope it climbs to the top of Hit Parade quickly, here's Penelope with "Drowning in Your Eyes"

Name: Penelope Dupin, Artist

ATTEMPT OF SUICIDE WITH BARBECUE

A day ago I came to offer you a deal.

A strange business.

Hello?

Yes.

Is it an emergency?

Yes, I'm contacting you. Stay on the phone.

Room 23, 1st floor.

Hello, motherhood?

I have an emergency.

Death is too important a thing that it was done in an old-fashioned way.

I want to die too,

but in a pleasant way.

In the most pleasant way possible ...

having an orgasm.

Do you want her to take part in this journey?

THE LADY IS SERVED ...

Let me introduce you to Arnold.

Nice to meet you Arnold.

Because this poor boy was struck by lightning,

while, happily masturbates in the suburbs,

he lost the gift of speech because of the shock.

But on the other hand,

he never lost his erection.

Arnold, leave us.

And now the meal is served. Let's eat.

Very well.

I've known a guy like this before, but not as bad.

Bulls,

newborn calf vagina,

and goat testicles in the "Provençale" style.

I'll have her testicles. - Serve yourself.

I'll taste the wine.

How good it looks!

How we could try to commit suicide so stupid?

In such a vulgar way.

When all this time there was this sublime death.

I didn't waste a second.

We wanted to reach orgasm!

And our luck was that Maud, he set us on the right path.

And I think I did it for your own good.

You did it, Maud. You did it.

Do you remember those two guys?

He has to remember, surely.

Hello gentlemen.

To which we owe the pleasure of your visit?

Hello Madam, we are conducting research ...

Hi !

Do some research. About what ? - Hi.

Well, um ...

Here, please. Don't be afraid.

Let us take care of you.

So. Take a seat.

Look.

Take a seat.

But I'm sorry, my friend and I. we didn't mean to confuse you ...

Nonsense, take your place.

Isn't it better that way?

So what do we start with?

Well...

Not bad. It's not bad at all.

And she has such beautiful eyes.

It's harder with these clothes on you.

And this velvety skin.

I should do it sometimes.

I should do it sometimes, and maybe I should start now.

Maybe it would be sad if he knew I was ...

that I was...

Death? Richard?

Yes, Richard.

I know you didn't like him.

Because I love you too much. It ruined your life.

And you were successful through my death.

Hello?

Good morning, sir. Messenger.

I'm fine, and you?

Yes, we still have it under contract, sir. Messenger.

15 days as an American star? Do you agree ...

But, of course, sir. Messenger.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, thank you!

Where's that bitch?

It's Richard! He came to pick me up.

Forgive me. He's taking me to New York.

He already has the tickets.

I am so happy !

Don't be so impatient. She wants to look great for your meeting.

Holy Sisoe! Guys!

Am I still in bed or what?

Shit!

I do not believe !

She's just like the girls in my country. As.

She's brunette. I like brunettes.

Don't be a bastard!

Hey guys !

Stop moving.

She is dead.

Let's get out of here as soon as possible. - Yes.

Let's go !

Come on. Move your ass!

Let's go !

Go ahead !

Okay, okay, I'm starting now.

I see, Charlene. You are afraid that you will not have the strength to go all the way.

I'll help you, my dear.

We will help you.

Arnold. Give him the most pleasant death.

It's for her own good.

Now it's my turn.

I will come to join you.

Not !

You don't have to die.

Thanks for your presence, we are not isolated from the world of the living.

We exist through you.

Continue what you started Maud.

Yes. Go on, Maud.

Go. Go and look for the others.

Come back quickly.

Death is too important a thing that it was done in an old-fashioned way.

Maud, you've finally arrived.

Pick up your dress.

Comfort yourself.

Yes.

Comfort yourself, Maud.

Comfort yourself, that before.

Come on Maud, you have the courage.

I am very tired. Let me be ... let me be ...

Not yet.

There is still so much to do.

I want to rest.

I can't ... I'm tired.

Tired.

Do it for us, Maud.

You owe us so much.

I can not do this anymore.

Maud.

Maud. Come back quickly.

Maud, go on.

I was waiting for you, Maud.

Maud, you have to keep going.

You need to find the strength to continue, Maud.

We're leaving, Arnold.

Translation and adaptation: RăduS