Original subtitles

This programme contains strong language from the outset.

Selection for the SAS is a test like no other.

We're looking for people that don't fit the mould...

..that are willing to break the rules,

that have got a maverick element about them.

To find that, it takes men to a world far from our own.

In this series, an elite team of ex-special forces soldiers

is putting 25 civilians through the toughest stage of selection.

Jungle phase is selection.

If you can soldier in the jungle, you can soldier anywhere.

Each task, based on the real process.

You're fighting for a place on this course.

Operating in the harshest environment known to man...

Some of us are that close to passing out.

..each recruit must go beyond the physical...

How many chances do you want?

One more, staff.

..to come face to face with their true character.

In my head, the demons are there, always saying,

'Am I good enough to be here?'

This is where we find out, do people run...

..or do people fight?

I just wanna see your heads.

HE SNIFFS

No other test asks as much...

HE CRIES

..or means as much...

..to the few who make it through.

When I was on a helicopter being inserted into the jungle,

I could just see the vapour coming off the canopy.

I could see just this vast amount of canopy.

That's all you could see

and you feel like you're getting swallowed up.

You feel like the jungle's gone, "Right, you're mine now."

INSECTS CHIRP

It's like a train, it just suddenly hits you,

you're just sweating profusely, it's just pouring out of you.

You can just hear insects, high-pitched screeches, howling,

which is quite eerie.

It's just a sensory overload.

25 men travel deep into the Amazon rainforest.

They're taking part in a unique version

of the jungle phase of SAS selection.

This phase is all psychological.

It's designed to bring out

certain characteristics and certain attributes

that you don't know exist within yourself...

..but you will find out once you're on selection.

For the next nine days,

the men will be cut off from the outside world and will have no idea

what's coming next.

Right, everyone off the truck.

The course starts before they reach camp.

Right, over to me, I want a semicircle in front of me here.

The only way into the jungle is by boat.

One at a time.

You're not designed to conquer the jungle.

All you can predict is that you've got two feet

and you can put one foot in front of the other.

Some people can't adapt, full stop...

..and if they can't adapt to it there,

then how the hell are they gonna adapt to it on the battlefield?

What's your name? Geoff. OK, look up.

Look forward. Look down. Stand by.

I grew up on the Arnold Schwarzenegger films

and I thought he was my... he was my role model.

I thought pretty much, "There isn't anything you can't, like,

"deal with, um, without the use of violence."

Go.

Go.

Next.

Go.

Right, I've got you, stop shaking, stop shaking.

Simple command.

Just walk forward.

Just keep walking. Keep walking.

I was born in Nigeria and it was never gonna be easy growing up

in a Third World country without my mum or my dad.

You've got it, you've got this, you've got this.

HE GROANS

'But it just put so much fire in my belly

'and got me to where I am today.'

OK? Well done, Moses.

Good man.

Calm down. Oi. Calm down.

MOSES GRUNTS Calm down.

You lot, get over here now.

Single file, follow me, let's go.

Chief instructor on the course is Ant Middleton,

who was a sniper in the special forces for four years.

Right, every man for himself, get across here now.

Move it, move it, every man for himself, let's fucking go.

Going on selection, there wasn't points

where I thought my body would let me down,

but there were points where I thought my mind would let me down.

Close the gap, Moses, get up his arse.

Get right up to him!

If you keep this focused, your body can get you through so much.

Home for the recruits is a military base

in the heart of the Ecuadorian jungle.

Come here now.

Faster.

ORDERS ARE SHOUTED

All right, let me just get something

out of your head straightaway, before I start.

This environment is brutal, it's hostile, it's claustrophobic.

It'll chew you up and spit you out.

This environment is enough to break most of you.

If you fight it, it'll fuck you up.

Trust me.

Might sound like a bit of a cliche, but be at one with the jungle.

If I have to babysit any of you, we'll just fuck you off.

We want self-sufficient individuals who can look after themselves, OK?

The medics aren't here for your comfort.

Look after your own shit, sort yourselves out.

You're ours for the next nine days.

Embrace it, gentlemen.

THUNDER RUMBLES

Number five.

Whenever you're asked to move physically, move fast.

Working with Ant is a team of directing staff or DS.

11.

Together, they'll decide if anyone

has the character they're looking for.

23.

Being in the special forces, we like to bend the rules,

we look for people that have got a roguish,

misfit-ish-ness element to them,

that are willing to take chances and get things done in different ways.

We're not the regular army.

First thing I want you to do is strip.

Just take it all off and drop it behind you in a pile.

If you've boxer shorts, keep 'em on.

The team has more than 40 years' experience in the special forces...

Ensure the zips are done up,

everything that's dangling is un-dangling, tie it away.

..and includes a former instructor on the jungle phase of selection.

If you wanna feel what it's gonna be like to be in the jungle,

put a house on your back, go into the sauna,

walk up and down the steps constantly in the sauna

and get somebody to smash you in the face with a load of sticks.

Go and find your beds.

To get this far, all of the recruits have passed rigorous physical

and psychological testing.

Stay on top of this shit,

cos things will be in here tonight living with you if you don't.

This is gonna be a long fucking nine days!

It is gonna be tough. Do you know

when we were crawling through that mud?

I kept getting cuts on me hands and there were spiders

when I were doing press ups, I thought, "Oh, fucking hell."

I love discipline. It's like, it's fixated in me, I love to have,

you know, someone shouting and telling me what to do,

cos that's the structure I've been brought up with.

Put this round your waist.

Recruit five, Keith,

is on the course with his younger brother, Jake.

Growing up I was in trouble a lot, fighting...

..and then my brother, kind of like, stepped in and took the role of,

like, a father figure towards me.

Right, feed that through there, look.

Yeah, he's had a massive impact on my life.

It's fucking hot, man.

As darkness falls,

the DS take the recruits for their first night-time thrashing.

Push 'em up in front of you, don't wait.

It's important to understand the jungle at night.

Move.

'There's still quite a bit of hostage taking,'

where people are taken into the jungle.

Get moving!

You might have a deadline of eight hours' time,

the hostage is gonna be killed...

Get round 'em! Get round 'em!

'..so you can't sit and wait for eight hours

'of darkness and then hope that'

they're not gonna do it, because of course they're gonna do it.

Get up 'em, get on his arse, close that gap.

Close that gap.

The DS have cut a one-mile circuit through the jungle...

Come on! Move!

..up to a 30-foot ridgeline and back again.

Let's go, come on! Come on, get 'em up, get around there.

Let's go! What number are you? 22.

Get past them. They're fucking flowering, get past them.

Recruit 22, Geoff, is at the back of the pack.

You better not be last when I get down!

Fuck's sake.

I was a real late developer.

All my other friends were getting hairy armpits

and growing up massive and I was just, like, still tiny.

Don't move, wait until I say.

'There isn't much I wouldn't do for a kind of dare,

'to get other people's attention.'

So, you know, I became a bit, I think, wild.

Go!

Let's go, get your hands down, get out that water!

KEITH GROANS

I can't get my breath.

After three circuits, recruit five, Keith, is struggling to breathe.

All right, listen in. This is gonna be a long night.

Some of you're making it difficult for the others,

you know who you are and we know who you are as well.

So, I would suggest that anybody

that wants to voluntarily withdraw themselves from the course...

..take their armband off and leave.

Follow me.

Quickly, single file behind him,

get right on his shoulder and do not lose that gap.

I've gotta stop, I can't breathe, I can't get my breathing.

What's wrong? You wanna VW. Yeah, I can't control my breathing in here.

It's too hard for me. OK, where's your... Where's your band?

I lost it down there.

Where's the medic? I don't understand why I'm struggling.

I'm normally... It's hard. It's hard, that's why you're struggling.

TEARFULLY: I've trained so fucking hard, man!

Don't get mad now, come on.

KEITH PANTS RAPIDLY

Slow your breathing down.

You're fine. It's just the heat.

I panic too much in the heat.

It's my responsibility.

You don't...you don't have to justify yourself to me.

Keith's panic attack means he's the first to withdraw from the course,

after just 14 hours.

When you're exposed to the jungle,

when it's fully taken control of you,

that's when it's becomes petrifying.

That's when you think, "Holy shit, what the fuck is going on?"

DOG BARKS

This should be fun.

Each recruit has been asked to write a short essay about their lives.

"After coming out of prison,

" found myself in a stolen car ready to commit another offence."

For the DS, it's a way of identifying those

with chequered pasts.

We've all got a rebellious streak in us.

You want a rounded character...

..that has got a maverick element about them.

Two in particular stand out - number 22, Geoff...

Number nine.

..and number nine, Moses.

"I was released from prison after serving a four-year sentence.

"At the time, I felt this was a good enough reason

"to go back to the street life."

I left home 16, 17.

As soon as I finished school I got a job in Woolworths...

..um, and it was just bang out of nowhere,

that's when the recession hit, lost my job.

That's when I made obviously the wrong decisions, looking back now.

You know, I went to the streets, was selling drugs and, you know,

doing robberies.

"My life-defining moment was being deported from Australia.

"After a petty altercation I was arrested.

"I was addicted to drugs and unable to return to the UK."

I didn't have any affiliation, my family were middle class,

quite hard-working people, sister's really smart,

did well in school and all that kind of stuff.

I just didn't have anything in common with them whatsoever.

When I went to prison for the first time when I was about 17, it was

so scary. Six months I had to spend there

and I was by far and away the smallest, poshest kid there.

That kind of cemented in my mind that I was gonna be a lifelong, er,

career criminal.

"I'm building towards running my own business

"and my goal is to put my daughter through university

"when the time comes."

I'm just concerned that... that he's very temperamental.

In the special forces world

there's a lot of people that are on that edge.

You can take a step to the left or to the right

and you can be hand-grenaded or you can be a very handy tool.

People like that are probably the best people in the combat zones,

because they've got that drive, they've got that passion,

but you step over that line then you become unworkable

and no-one wants to be around you.

I would say I teeter on that edge, definitely.

Over the next 24 hours,

the DS will increase the pressure on both recruits,

to see if their behaviour is under control.

When we identify these faults in people...

..we're digging into their character.

The moment we recognise something, we'll be on you.

That's fucked, I need to go see a thingy.

Is that black? Nah, that's a hole.

A verruca?

Let's have a look.

It's like I've been shot in my foot

It's the jungle phase of SAS selection,

and the DS are focusing on two recruits

they think will struggle to keep control under pressure.

22, where's 22?

What's the problem?

Nothing.

Throughout selection, recruits are

routinely taken for tactical questioning...

Right, put your hands against the wall.

..without explanation or warning.

'We go beyond the surface, we go deep into your core.'

We don't let up. You know, we're horrible fuckers sometimes.

'I need to find out how he's going to react....

..because the next time it ain't going to be me who can control it,

it's going to be somebody who's probably going to try and hurt or kill him.

Something quite unsettling about you, I can't quite put my finger on it.

You seem like quite an unpredictable character.

Sort of loose cannon.

I dunno, there's something about you that - the switch in you,

that boom, if it goes then you can't control it.

I know a loose cannon when I see one.

Were you a bit of a boyo?

No. It was criminal. So it was criminal what, to gain money?

Yeah. Drugs?

Everything. So you were supplying drugs?

Yeah. Do you have a fucking conscience?

No, I didn't, I didn't give a shit. Do you have a coconut in your

fucking stupid mind how many families' lives you've fucked up?

Er, yeah, no, er, yeah.

I used to have a different life to what I have now.

So, when did your life change, then?

When did you become this amazing person?

I'm not an amazing person. Don't fucking laugh at me,

I'm asking a serious question. When did you become this amazing person?

Last two years.

Two years ago? How old are you?

37. 37? So it took you 35 years of being a scumbag to become a decent

person? Don't fucking laugh, cos you don't give a fuck, do you?

Do you?

You've got a daughter? Yep. How old's your daughter?

13.

Does she do drugs? So you left your daughter?

You left your daughter? I asked you a question.

Yeah, I know you asked me a question, stupid fucking question.

Is it really? Listen, listen, listen.

Carry on talking, you want to make this fucking personal. Listen.

Listen. Relax.

Relax yourself. Relax yourself.

Why do you think we're pushing your buttons?

Calm it down. Tone it down, OK,

cos we've just pushed exactly the right buttons that we need to push,

all right? Calm it down.

So, if you were caught in a situation like this right now and you were in a

hostile environment like this and you acted like the way you

just acted, do you know what would happen to you?

Yeah, I do. You'd get a bullet in the back of your head.

Guard!

I was like that, mate. One minute I was really nice,

next minute I'd fucking flip out.

That's beyond the call of duty.

It feels so sore there, though - fucking stinging.

This cream is not just for feet, is it?

Yeah. Just for feet?

Yeah. I've just put it all round there.

You fucking idiot.

It's 24 hours into the course.

That is not enough food for a grown man.

Imagine a fry up.

Two more recruits left overnight...

..and now the remaining 22 are struggling.

All the lads say I look really red and really drowsy, but...

How are you feeling? I feel all right, just got a bit of a headache.

Yeah, you'll be fine. That's disgusting, it's lumpy.

Yeah, these are quite small, mate.

I got my foot, I got an eye infection and on top of that my trousers

ripped and I still ran through the whole thing with the mud going through to my balls.

'If someone's constantly moaning or whining, you know, it's just, like,

'a domino effect, recruit to recruit,'

and it just snowballs.

My thumbs are fucked.

I've got a rash and all sorts of shit.

I couldn't run. That mud crawling, that was nearly the end of me, mate,

I'm not going to lie. That's not for me, do you known what I mean?

So apart from that, everyone's all right, though, yeah?

44-year-old Efrem is one of the oldest recruits on the course.

Because of my seniority,

I would hope that I can bring something a little bit different

to the group and maybe, you know,

benefit other people and try and help them look at things a slightly

different sort of way.

Right, just cos I said that this place is pretty brutal,

doesn't mean every six seconds that someone breaks into a sweat

you decide that he's going to die on you and send him over to the medic.

This place is quite hard,

but also you're supposed to be here to be hard -

do you understand what I'm saying?

Staff. Cos we're all starting to get a bit pissed off with hearing,

"Staff," and there's fuck all wrong.

Yes, Staff. OK.

Wait outside your accommodation.

Before their next task, Ant carries out a dorm inspection.

I want you in single file.

Do not touch anything. I want you to have a little look round...

..and I want you to tell me who's let you down.

Do not touch anything.

Keep the noise down. Tell me the one bed that stands out.

You'll be able to spot it a mile off.

And just all of you now, just point where you think

the bed that's let you down. Correct.

All of the recruits have identified the same bed...

You've got two minutes to be on the parade square.

..belonging to Geoff.

All right, fellas, has anybody seen my belt?

That's what I'm looking for this morning - has anybody seen a belt?

There's a spare one here. Spare belt, yeah?

One minute. Yes, come on, come on, come on. Let's go.

Ant's going to make an example of Geoff...

Form a circle around me.

..by punishing everyone except him.

Number 22, come and lie down, relax.

Relax, chill. Lie down.

Lie down. Fuck it, you're pissing me off now.

Go on, then, go. Fucking prick.

Mate, don't walk too far.

Geoff, come on, man. Fuck him. Right, fellas, off you go.

By handing in his armband...

..Geoff becomes the fourth recruit to leave the course.

Listen, if you saw what I put up with last night, I'm over this shit.

You're the better man, mate. Yeah, I... Just, you're a better man.

They're doing it on purpose. But they told me they were doing it on

purpose last night. All right, fucking take a step back,

you've fucked with me now, but it's doing my nut.

The fact you've binned that in

and saved us that ragging means a lot to me

and I know all the rest of the boys are like it.

That's the mark of you.

Don't let... Oi, don't let it get to you, mate.

You're going home and everything's going to be cool, yeah?

Don't let it get to you.

Listen, just don't, don't... Appreciate that, thank you.

Come in, relax...

..take a seat, chill.

I apologise for that. It's fine.

Listen, sit down, sit down, sit down.

Listen, you've got so much potential, massive potential,

but you're a fucking hand grenade, you're fucking so unpredictable,

you're so unreliable in that way.

What frustrates me is you've turned your fucking life around,

but you can turn it right back upside down

in the flick of a switch.

Your daughter, you love your daughter.

Well, she won't be fucking no good to you

when you're in the fucking nick,

when you're... Listen, I done exactly the same.

Exactly the same. I'm fucking, a family man, I love my wife,

I love my kids, yeah?

And I've done something stupid and

I'm lucky I got a little sentence for it,

cos otherwise, anything longer and my whole life

would've been turned upside down.

And that's what I was... I wanted to keep you here to try and get that

out of you. It's immaturity, what it all boils down to.

It's weakness, you know as well as I do,

and I thought if I could get through this and you lot could give me as

much shit as you do, I thought, you know,

I might just be able to trust myself, but I don't.

That's what this was, and yeah, kind of saw it coming, but

I'm a work in progress.

Listen Geoff, all the best for the future, buddy.

Appreciate it, thank you very much. All right? Ta.

I've been arrested a couple of times.

It's the done thing to drink heavily, to fight.

It's all part of that military culture.

I ended up losing...

Losing my, er...

..my anger, shall we say? Losing my temper and, er,

and, er, yeah, and assaulting a police officer, which...

..which ended up me with a 14-month sentence.

I was looking at all the other prisoners and thinking to myself,

"How did I get here?"

You know, "I was tier-one special forces operator

"and now I'm stood and I'm a number."

I was ashamed.

I wasn't providing for my family, I wasn't earning money,

I wasn't putting a roof over their head.

If anything, I was a burden.

That was a massive turning point in my life.

I remember sitting on the back of a helicopter

and then the sky erupting.

There was heavy machinegun fire,

tracer fire, rocket-propelled grenades,

there was airburst RPGs going off next to the helicopters,

the helicopters were getting hit.

Quick, quick, move.

You think about the fact that you could die, get blown up,

lose legs, lose arms.

Acknowledge that you're feeling like that, but do not let it overcome you.

That becomes, like, fear, the contagion of fear.

Fucks you up, then you won't get your job done.

For the next phase of the course,

the DS are testing a key skill of special forces operations.

Heli-abseiling and fast-roping

is probably the main insertion method in the special forces,

specially in the hostage rescue scenario.

It throws the enemy off, cos you're attacking from all angles.

Right, you lot get in your lines.

Let's move it, let's go.

All right, they're yours, take that,

go to the middle where the chief instructor is.

The DS selects four recruits who they want to put under pressure

by abseiling 90 feet out of a helicopter.

Number 18, Mark,

17, Gary,

11, Efrem,

and number 9, Moses.

When I finally got arrested

and, you know,

I knew I was going to get found guilty, I knew prison was coming -

it was inevitable. I knew it was coming, it was a matter of time.

Moses was singled out earlier by the DS for his criminal background.

They want to see if he can control himself under stress.

'I gave myself all the worst situations.

'I'm going to get stabbed, I'm going to get beaten up,

I'm going to get this, but you know what,

I kind of played it out in my head already,

so it was like...nothing scared me. I was not worried about nothing,

I was just ready for it. And then before I knew it, you know,

two years had gone by and I came out.

Lean back, lean back.

Right, stop panicking. Right hand on there.

Right hand there.

This hand on there. This hand!

When you first do it, you think about,

"If this bit of rope gives way

"or this karabiner isn't screwed on correctly

"or if I haven't locked off correctly and I'm hanging there with no hands,"

you know, "what could happen if something went wrong?"

Move this hand here, move this hand here!

Fucking do as you're told! Yes, sir.

But when you go on to missions, all that goes out the window.

Your own personal safety goes out the window,

cos you're worried about your pals and you're worried about

the mission itself and you sort of forget that you're dangling off

the helicopter by a piece of string.

Go!

Go.

Last up is recruit number 11, Efrem.

I think fear can cloud the mind,

as making you make irrational decisions,

but whatever happens in the next two weeks,

I've been through a hell of a lot worse, as simple as that.

Go.

That was sick. That was sick.

Number 9, he was the one that was scared the most earlier on.

I saw a foot. I saw... He had to keep going back in, back out.

They all done well, mate, considering it's their first time ever.

Right, well, I've got a little bit of a drama. I've found a combi tool.

Oh, well. All good things come to an end.

I know, exactly!

One of the recruits has dropped a combination tool.

Who's missing the combi tool?

Who's missing that?

You've given away so much just by that.

Right, get on your bellies, crawl round the DS and back to me.

Ant punishes the whole group.

Arses down!

The temperature is 35 degrees, humidity 95%.

I'm done mate, fuck that. I'm done now.

And it proves too much for some.

Are you VWing? Yeah, VW. Go off and see the medic.

Number 4, Jake, whose brother quit on day one,

and number 3, Miguel, both voluntarily withdraw.

Right. You will waddle around the DS and back to me.

Let's go. You know what it is.

Don't put your hands on your knees.

That's it. Look at number 16.

What you doing? Get down!

I'm going, Staff. You want to VW? Yes, please, Staff. Are you sure?

Quick to follow Jake and Miguel is number 23, Alex.

It's just about getting round each other, isn't it?

That's all you had to do. Mm-hmm.

Well, you'll fucking regret it.

The group's getting smaller and smaller by the minute.

Does anyone else want to give me their number?

ALL: No, Staff!

Are you sure? Yes, Staff!

THUNDERCLAP

Yesterday, 25 men entered the jungle.

Today, just 18 remain.

One metre behind me, gentlemen.

That's three of 'em gone? Three of 'em gone. Three?

What, has Miguel gone?

Yeah. Shut up "Miguel's gone"!

Pulled out, man. No!

'That constant negativity will poison a whole team.'

It's contagious, and it drags the troop down,

it'll drag the mission down and be a matter of life or death.

I'm broken. No, you're fucking not. Don't say that shit again, man.

What? Saying he's broken and shit. Fuck that, man.

The jungle has a great tendency to eliminate negative people by itself.

Us, as a DS, we don't really have to do that at the beginning.

Just quickly sit down at the ends of your beds, fellas.

These people that have gone have done exactly what I said not to do.

They've fought against the elements and they found excuses to get out.

OK? A couple of you are embracing it and you're actually doing very well,

but from their weakness you guys should be gaining strength,

so keep it going and just work as a team,

get your shit squared away, and don't give us an excuse to thrash you.

ALL: Staff.

This is honking.

It's delightful to get your socks off, I tell you.

'I thought I was going to have the classic anger with number... 9. 9.

'It's, er, Moses.'

Do you know what, he's gaining strength as this course goes along.

He's actually quite a calm lad.

He still has to have his drug-dealing front.

Even though he isn't doing it, there's still a front.

Hands behind your back.

You been scared before?

Was in 2012 - I got a four-year sentence for a bank robbery.

I was shitting myself, but I did it.

Bank robbery? Armed?

There was no weapons involved. It's a cash-in-transit robbery.

A guy's carrying money to the bank and we go about our business.

What, just batter them? No, there's no violence needed.

It's just a snatch and grab.

What was your job?

I was, er, the driver,

so I was never...

been... So you never...? You weren't violent?

It's not my... It's not my thing.

And then what you done since?

At some point within that first six weeks when I got released

I hit a crossroad and there was a thing where I was alive,

I had to go and commit another offence

or start begging for money and, fortunate for me, you know,

I woke up, for no reason.

I was on my way to another robbery when I woke up.

You...you were midway to another robbery? Yeah.

And then you decided to can it? Yeah.

What did you say to the other guys?

"I'm done." You know, common sense starts kicking in,

you're just thinking, "Wait, no."

What do you do now? Now I'm a personal trainer,

but I focus my personal training on ex-offenders.

Being on the roads, we work all night.

Drugs are sold at night.

That work, effort, energy, I've still got that same mentality.

I've... When I'm selling my personal training it's like

I'm selling drugs. I'm on it.

Guard!

'The special forces community's made up of a massively mixed array of people.

'Oxbridge graduates, people from the streets.

'There's people out there that could be amazing special forces operators,'

but unfortunately the path they take in life puts 'em

in a completely different environment.

I'm going to have to take some time to let that sink in.

Trying to work that fucker out. Mm.

'There's people that have had hard lives,

'and that makes them resilient and adaptable.

'It could be something that helps them on the battlefield,

'but we need to know we can trust them.'

How's your bollocks?

Actually, they're probably in a better state than the rest of my body.

Yeah, that's true. They're shrivelled up a bit, but they're all right.

Shrivelled up and disappeared.

The first phase of the course in nearly over.

Just do it day by day, innit?

Hour by hour mate. Press up by press up.

Seven recruits have already left.

I think that's what you've gotta remember when you've...when you're here, what you're here for.

(Yeah.)

Recruit 11, Efrem, has come to the attention of the DS following his heli-abseil.

Number 11, the old boy.

They have questions about why he's on the course.

Lots of different things have happened in the last couple of years,

which has changed my emphasis on all sorts of different things, really.

Ain't that weird?

My intention is to give myself something a bit more positive to focus on.

Strange. When I looked at him I thought he looked old, but I thought,

"There's something there. Has he got an alcohol problem or something like that?"

Number 11! Eh?

Number 11. Number 11, did he say?

We're looking at people to see whether they're a good misfit or a bad misfit.

There's people that don't fit the mould to a certain degree, you know,

their age, their life, their background...

..and that does actually make us wonder what it is that's pushing them on.

Number 11, you look fragile.

I think you're ready to quit, aren't ya?

No, staff.

I don't feel like quitting this course.

I'm not going to be naive enough to say that I'm going to keep going forever,

I'm a man of older years, but I'll keep chipping away.

So what the fuck has brought someone of your age on this course?

Why aren't you at home chilling out? It felt like the right thing to do.

My grandparents were in the second world war, various other people have,

in my family, have served in the army and the RAF as well as my son.

What regiment's your son in? He was in the, er, intelligence corps.

Was?

Yeah, he was killed in Afghanistan in October, 2013.

Fucking hell.

Do you mind if I ask you how?

He'd been out there once previously and on his second tour they're in a

handover operation, er,

came under fire at the end of the operation and unfortunately he was shot

and killed. It was slightly more complicated by the fact he was actually

killed by another British soldier,

which has made it more difficult for us, obviously.

Oh, was it a blue on blue?

Really hard to swallow. Yeah, sure.

That's, I know that, that is a bit harder, a bitter pill to swallow.

I've been involved in

blue on blues as well and, and, you know, boy.

There's nothing you can say, is there? No, there's nothing you can say. You know,

those sort of situations are just... Yeah. ..almost unexplainable.

People try and look into them, but ultimately it doesn't really change the outcome.

No. Nothing will change the outcome.

Did you do this because you wanted to feel what your son has been through?

I think there's an element of that.

"If James hadn't been killed, would you be here?"

and probably, the answer is probably no.

I mean, there is a connection, it's, it's, from the simplest things,

you give us kit, I pick the socks up, they're exactly the same socks,

you give us the map book it's the same map book,

so it's been more personal than I thought it would be,

and, and for me that's a good thing.

Fucking hell, you've got some fucking balls to come on this course,

I tell you that. Wow, to pick yourself up and...but do you know what,

you just keep doing

what you're doing. If you were my dad and you were doing this at your age,

I'd be cheering you on.

I don't, I don't want to be seeing that armband.

Guard!

I think it must've been hard for my mum,

especially when my brother joined the marines and then I joined the

special forces and then we were pretty much...we used to always go away

at the same time.

Fucking hell, man.

I never really acknowledged it until I left,

and then my brother still went away, I suddenly was, like,

a bit worried for him and I was like, "Shit, hang on,

"imagine what this was like times two for my mum."

It must've been horrific.

James wasn't just my son, he was probably one of my...the best friends I had, er,

and will ever have.

Sometimes it just gets you.

It's like someone puts their hand through your ribs and actually squeezes

your heart so hard and you can't breathe and you can't see and you can't

really focus on anything round you. You all right, mate?

Yeah, fine.

When you send somebody off, who's fit, strong, young and able,

and one day they don't come back,

it's very difficult to get your brain to accept that, um, and it just,

it changes everything, really.

Fight!

'The most dangerous form of aggression is driven by fear.'

Stop!

Number ten was definitely out of control.

This will continue until the weak ones amongst you give me your numbers.

I just can't run. What do you want to do? Take a breath.

Hang on, let me think about this.

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