Original subtitles

Lyle: C'mon Dante. Let's get this over with.

You're already at "S".

Can we make it a game of "horseses"?

No. Call your shot, man.

Okay.

Over the shoulder, off the wall,

off the hoverbike,

of the brontosaurus,

nothing but net.

There's no way you're gonna make that.

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

That is definitely broken.

Oops.

Yes! I did it! I just owned you, Conqueror of all worlds!

Yeah!

What did you do, sell your 800th magic robe?

That's a lot of robes.

I have been toiling in the Stake Bottom Bog

for the past 16 hours.

But it has finally paid off.

That's why you've been wearing that T-shirt for two days in a row.

I thought you were copping my style, Wyatt.

Gentlemen, Black Death just unlocked a weapons upgrade.

Blast-a-Ton 2.0.

Whoa, look at that thing.

That is the most beautiful weapon

of monster destruction I've ever seen

in my entire life.

Could you imagine if we had this baby to take out leaks?

- That would be sick. - That would be so cool.

Wait a minute.

What?

- Stop. - He's not. He's not.

It's so cool!

Dude, that--

Whoa.

I could feel the power coursing through my veins.

- Blazow!! - Blazow?

Blazow!!

I don't get it.

It's like a exclamation, you know, like--

[both] Blazow!

Okay, mode 632, wave bazooka.

Awesome.

Whoa.

What happened in here?

I can see that's day three for that shirt.

That's amateur stuff.

I'll be wearing this all week.

Guys, I've been testing out Blast-a-Ton 2.0 all night.

You know some of the new settings on this thing are bonkers.

Hey, guys, remember stink bombs?

- Yeah. - Well now, I've got

gas knuckles.

- Oh! - Oh!

Yes! It's awesome! Do you smell that?

Do you smell it? That's awesome.

Yeah, yeah I smell it. I smell it. Oh, that's

some serious collateral stinkage!

Great. You can shoot a fart fist.

I can't breathe!

Oh! Show us something else!

Put these on.

Mode 177, the UV-ray ray.

Why didn't you say to put them on your eyes?

I've got the power of 1,000 tanning beds at my fingertips!

- Whoa! - Hey!

Careful with that thing, man!

It's dangerous.

Hey! I can handle it!

I can handle it.

What's wrong with him?

Hey, somebody set up some boxes. I want to show you mode 392,

Moctezuma's Revenge.

Oh, you're gonna want to wear these.

I'm leaving.

So, bye.

Bye.

Yes.

Volcano City!

I'm sorry. Oklahoma City is the capital of Oklahoma.

- Come on, man. - Hey, I got the "City" part right, didn't I?

I could have sworn it had something to do with lava.

This famous American wrote "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn."

Mark Wahlberg!

What?

Marky Mark Wahlberg.

Mark Twain. Listen up.

In two weeks, every Quiz Bowl team in the state

is going after that championship.

Now, unless we step up our game,

- there is no way we're gonna-- - Lose!

Okay, all right.

Win. There's no way we're gonna win. Let's take five.

You know I can't use any of this footage on the school website, right?

It'll make Daventory Hills look like a school of buffoons.

Did you know that buffoons are the only primate with a human butt?

It makes you think, doesn't it?

They're all neurons.

You know I could be a one-man Quiz Bowl team if it weren't for regulations.

Regulations are holding me back.

Hey, since when do you play French horn?

I always pictured you as more of an accordion guy.

It's not a French horn.

- It's Blast-a-Ton 2.0. - Oh.

I need to keep it with me at all times.

You know, to keep it safe.

Okay, but if you're not in band, you're gonna look really weird

carrying that thing around.

You look kind of weird carrying that camera around all the time.

She's my cherished.

Okay, you need to chill out.

Okay, because I don; t have to be here.

I could be making a riveting documentary on--

Dante's T-shirt wearing marathon.

Just make sure the camera's rolling for the next round.

I'll show you what greatness is.

- Winston Churchill. - Correct!

- The Battle of Gettysburg. - Yes!

Hey!

- Rocky Mountain Fever. - Bingo!

What?

The birthplace of Henry John Deutschendorf Jr. A.K.A. John Denver.

Also, where aliens were supposedly discovered in 1947.

Yes!

I am so great.

That was intense, okay? Who knew you had all those facts in your skull?

Hate to brag, but I do spend a lot of time by myself reading.

Don't worry, you're not bragging.

Wyatt!

Normally I don't condone hogging the buzzer.

This is a Quiz Bowl team.

But this team will never get to State unless you hog the buzzer,

so good job, hog!

This little piggy's going to State, aren't we?

Where is it?

- Where is it? - What? Clean laundry?

Not on Dante, that's for sure.

No, there's a leak.

No. I just closed the kitchen. There's nobody in here but me.

[clanging]

For once I hope that was a rat.

Me too. I've been looking for a new pet.

[clanging]

Good luck fitting that in a hamster bowl.

- It's a dupliganger. - What?

Looks like Bear's has a new midnight special--

Two monsters for the price of one.

It looks like Wyatt has a special too.

Battle groups with a side of cheese.

I think we outnumber him.

Them. Those.

Whatever. Should we try to surround it?

Shh.

Did he just "shh" me?

We don't need a silly strategy.

We've got Blast-a-Ton 2.0.

Hey, guy!

Better get off the road, because here comes Carmageddon!

Oh, funky lightning!

Now there's two of those two-headed things!

That's like seven heads!

Hold on. I'll find something more powerful.

Wyatt! I don't want to be an appetizer!

Okay, I got it! Get out of the way!

Wyatt!

I got them! I got them!

They ran out the back. Way to mess it up, guys.

Now we got two leaks on the loose.

Yeah, and one cramp in our midst.

What did I do?

He was talking about Wyatt.

Oh.

Way to go, guys.

Next time you should let me handle the dupliganger

with Blast-a-Ton 2.0.

Uh, we did, and you split one monster into two.

If you had given me a little more time,

I would have been able to find the perfect setting

to blow those guys to smithereens.

If we had given you a little more time,

we'd be digesting in those monsters' lungs right now!

- Help me! - That is a big bowl of bulgogi.

We would have been fine.

Next time let's let Blast-a-Ton 2.0

handle the business, okay?

I'm gonna go erase those security tapes.

This stinks.

Genghis Khan's brother in law.

Yes! Yes!

That is 37 correct answers in a row, Wyatt.

With you at the helm,

I think this team could take the Quiz Bowl state championship!

And then Mama's gonna get a new championship jacket.

Weird.

37 in a row!

Pretty sweet, huh?

Uh, not so sure your teammates think that.

Wyatt's been acting like a jerk.

I mean, sure, he gets all the questions right,

but I never get to do anything anymore.

Oh, and that's not even the worst part.

He's become a buzzer ballerina prima donna diva.

What?

Brain power.

It's a buzzkill.

Man, after that whole buzzer thing,

I was like, forget this.

I'm tired of him making me feel like I'm not smart.

I'll show him. When I become a poker champ

in Lava Gas, Nevada.

It's Las Vegas, you neuron.

See? See? This is what I'm talking about.

See what he's talking about?

Look, I'm getting I'm getting all the right answers.

I'm taking us to State.

They shouldn't be complaining.

We got both of those jacked-up iguana men in the same spot.

- We better be careful. - Why are they arguing?

If there were two of me, I would not be arguing with myself.

Or maybe I would. No I wouldn't.

Be quiet! No, you be quiet!

That's it. I'm no longer speaking to you.

Whoa!

All right.

This'll tan their scaly hides.

Wait. No, maybe we should--

Feel the burn!

The UV-ray ray.

Whoa!

I am safe!

Great! There's three!

What? Crab cakes!

- Okay-- - No!

Put me down! Put me down!

Put me down!

I had those things just where I wanted them

And you guys ruined it.

You're mad at us?

Your little ray of sunshine almost took out me and Dante!

Almost? Almost?!?

Look at this!

I look like a factory-rejected candy cane!

I gotta get back there.

Don't you see what's happening?

Every time you hit them, they duplicate.

That only happened because Dante's face was in the way.

Oh, sweet. My sunburn's already peeling.

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! That's a record!

What is your problem, Wyatt?

I'll tell you my problem.

You guys keep getting in the way of me

and Blast-a-Ton 2.0.

You need us to handle the leaks.

I've been through enough band breakups to know where this is headed.

You're going Timberlake.

Oh, you're quick. Not really.

I don't need you guys.

I'm a one-man leak parting machine!

- We are never-fail. We are a team. - Yeah.

There's no regulation saying I can't be a one-man team.

I'm out.

Did that just happen?

Wyatt's gone off the deep end.

There's something up with that Blast-a-Ton 2.0.

You want to hold some of my dead skin?

- No! - Okay.

Max, you have to help us. Wyatt's new weapon is making him crazy.

So we all need new weapons so we can all be crazy

so we can be a team again.

I'm thinking make Skull Cracker like burst into flames.

Just fire everywhere.

How would you hold it?

I'm also going to need fireproof gloves.

Have you tripped a circuit? Not happening.

Okay, so we could either use concealer to make you look normal

or we could just make your whole face red.

Can I see the red?

That's nice. Do it up, sister.

Blast-a-Ton 2.0 is an over-clocked piece of code. Move.

Something happened, and everyone in the game with a Blast-a-Ton 2.0

is running amok, laying waste

to entire dungeons on their own.

They've gone mad with power.

That's exactly what's going down with Wyatt.

Aha!

Now where did I put that lock box?

This will split you in two--

into a million pieces.

There you are.

I'm downgrading Blast-a-Ton 2.0,

taking away its power.

Wait. Won't that affect Wyatt's new Blast-a-Ton?

- Probably. - Dude, you can't do that.

Wyatt is out there chasing leaks right now.

Downgraded. What did you say?

Exactly how downgraded are we talking here, Max?

Oh, he probably won't even notice.

Marrow Masher!

What?

Oh, exclamation.

Time out! Time out! Time out!

Time out!

Uh, try, uh--

No!

Blast-a-Ton?

More like Blast-a-Feather! What is wrong with this thing?

I don't care how much of a cramp he's been.

We've got to save Wyatt from those dupligangers.

You guys are fighting dupligangers.

I hope you haven't been hitting them one at a time.

No. Why?

Because they duplicate.

It's in their name. They have two heads.

I thought I made it super obvious.

But you guys know how to deal with them?

Yeah. Totally, man.

I don't think Angie knows though.

You should tell Angie.

And speak slowly. She's a girl.

A dupliganger can only be defeated

when it's hit by two weapons at the same time.

One person alone can't beat them.

Only a team can. Was that too fast?

Got it. It's time to do this, guys.

Oh, I would love to help you guys fight

a horrifying monster, but--

oh, no. I should stay here and clean this up.

Let's let loose on that lizardy loser.

Yes! Five "L" words.

I can't fight that leak with lip gloss.

- That's broken. - I just fixed that.

All right, guys, where's my Fist of Schoolage?

Booty box!

Not so fast, you slimy creep!

Angie, what are you guys doing here?

Ha! Yaaah!

Let it lay some--

laser-- man, I had it back at HQ!

We're here to save our friend with teamwork

and magical weapons like the computer game.

I can't believe you guys showed up after how I treated you.

Okay, this thing may be made of steel

but my arm isn't. Do something!

Dante, time for a little teamwork. Shirts vs. scaly skins!

Angie, you go high. I'll go low.

Done!

Yes! Nice!

Wyatt! Set me up!

Set you up, or should I say--

Oh, hold the battle quip.

Yes!

Ooh, I have an idea.

Me? Okay, let's turn Skull Cracker into a firecracker.

Yeah, I can do that.

Meshugenah caliente!

Oh, my dream has come true!

And it hurts!

Hot hot hot hot!

Yes! Come on!

Hot hot hot hot Hot hot hot hot!

Cold cold cold cold!

That was so awesome!

He was like, "I'm gonna get you,"

and I'm like, "No, you're not!"

Blazow!

See? Blazow. People do say that.

Angie is not people.

Hey, Dante, sorry for toasting half your body.

It's okay. I did double my dead skin collection.

Do you want to see it?

Oh, that's nasty. I didn't know

you had a dead skin collection.

Well, it wasn't worth mentioning until now. That's gross.

And the rest of you, thanks for not giving up on me,

even when I turned into an evil, possessed maniac

whose best friend was a weapon from a videogame.

Yeah, remember that time you were gonna meet me at Bayer's

to help me with geometry?

And I totally stood you up? Yeah, I forgot all about it.

Well, when I was waiting for you,

I said, "I'm gonna be a better friend to Wyatt.

He needs one when he gets all weird."

Plus, who's gonna help us fix our computers?

Hey, I'd do it.

For free?

Oh, no. Forget it.

I knew it.

I know it's probably impossible,

but I wish there was some way I could make it up to you.

I have an idea!

Oh!

Well? What is it?

Oh, you need me to say it out loud?

And done.

I give you Blast-a-Ton 2.5.

It's not evil powerful anymore but it will do some serious damage.

Which reminds me. I have a waiver for you to sign

that says I'm not legally responsible for any serious damage.

If you could just--

You ready, Wyatt?

When I said I'd make it up to you,

I meant like I'd buy you a milkshake or something.

- Uh huh. - Oh yeah.

Custard cannon! You gotta love it!

- All right, men, who's next? - Me!

- Me! - Me!

Careful! Careful!

I didn't even do anything to you guys.

Sweet.

Gonna need somebody to answer.

Wyatt.

Mount St. Helens.

I'm sorry. The answer is 12.

The square root of 144 is 12.

Geography was two rounds ago.

That's totally what I was gonna say next.

Hey, at least you're trying, right?

That's what counts.

Well, things were definitely more interesting

when you were acting like a know-it-all.

- I think Ms. Elmhurst agrees. - Hah.

Maybe she'll get that championship jacket.

- Next year. - Next year.