Original subtitles

We were looking for intruders near the Arizon Tank Farm.

Wallace had a bad break through his leg.

Soldados from the Panamanian Defense Force showed up.

Machos de Montes, they called themselves.

Strong men of the mountains.

Petrosian's shoulder was all torn up.

So I started laying down cover fire.

I lay down cover fire. I get Petrosian up to his feet, but by now, they are

tossed in grenades.

So I keep firing.

I keep firing and dragging Petrosian. We're firing and dragging Petrosian. I

just had to get out of there.

My unit made it back in one piece.

For my actions, I was awarded this.

Except it never happened, Mr.

Strange.

You're a liar.

And I've reported your fraud to the Marine Corps.

Corporal Hal Strange, United States Marine Corps, served in Panama during

Operation Just Cause and went out on disability retirement a year later after

separating his shoulder.

Just Cause, that was the mission to capture Noriega, wasn't it? The SECNAV

authorized this court -martial. Corporal Strange will be brought back on active

duty in charge of Article 134 violation, wearing an unauthorized decoration, and

in this case...

On a uniform he was also unauthorized to wear. Seems he bought a silver star

medal and ribbon at an Army -Navy store, dummied the citation and make himself

into a hero.

He's been wearing his uniform in violation of regulations and bilking

and civic groups out of speaking fees for nearly a decade. Shouldn't take long

to sort this one out, sir.

Well, glad you feel that way, Colonel, because you'll be defending the man.

Bring it on.

He's currently free on his own recognizance and will be in later today

with you. Great.

Well, don't take this lightly, Colonel.

Colonel Strange's actions have been a major embarrassment to the Marine Corps.

I'm clear, sir. Colonel, would you please stop interrupting me? You're

than Coke.

I'm sorry, sir. I'll get right on it. Will that be all?

No, that will not be all.

Commander, you're prosecuted.

Aye, sir.

Now you're dismissed.

I asked her.

Lieutenant.

Hi, Commander. Come on in.

How was the big easy?

Still as easy as ever.

Listen, the venue made up too many headshots of Maurice.

She thought the USO might want to send some out to the troops to boost morale.

Thanks, Commander.

Harriet is really going to appreciate this.

How's she doing, bud?

She's at home with the boys today.

Ever since A .J. ran away, it almost looks like she's afraid to let them out

her sight.

I understand completely.

Just give her my best, if you would. I will, sir. Thank you.

There's a snake, Lieutenant.

It's a rare Habu pit viper, sir.

Also known as the Trimericius flaberidus.

Don't touch her, sir. She can kill you.

I had no intention of touching her, Lieutenant.

Why is she in your office?

Evidence, sir.

I'm working on a plea agreement for the ensign who smuggled her out of Okinawa

in his shirt.

It's so cold in the evidence room. She is a tropical snake.

And it's warm in your office.

I'm just looking after her until the ensign gets out of the hospital.

They gave him the antivenom just in time.

Luckily, there's a five -hour window before it turns deadly.

I wouldn't let the admiral see you with that thing.

Sag Ops, Petty Officer Crows.

Commander, it's Mr. Johnson, Maddie's dad.

Hello, Mr. Johnson. How are you?

I'm doing okay, Commander.

I just finished my first phase of treatment. Haven't had a drink in two

Congratulations.

Listen, I want to see my daughter.

Have you spoken to Maddie about that?

I'm not asking for unsupervised visitation. I just... Yeah, I'd just

my little girl.

Prosecution has copies of the citation you pulled, pictures of you wearing your

bogus uniform and medal, and newspaper articles quoting your claims that you

performed duty above and beyond the call, and we both know that's not true.

Whose side did you say you were on?

Ma 'am?

Yours, Corporal. That's why I'm advising you to change your plea to guilty.

There's only one problem with that, Colonel.

I deserve that medal.

Rinker has no record of it. That doesn't mean it didn't happen, ma 'am.

Now, I know you've never served in combat, and I doubt you ever had to kill

anyone.

My history is irrelevant.

This meeting is about you.

Maybe you have, Colonel.

Had to kill.

Maybe more than once.

I've given you my legal advice. Call me when you've made your decision.

Did you get a medal for it, Colonel?

The killing.

Don't you think you deserved one?

I always knew you had a domestic side.

Oh, what, I make a little pasta, create some garlic bread.

Suddenly I'm Martha Stewart.

You ever take home X?

Home economics?

No. No, in my day, woodshop was the preferred elective for boys.

How'd you learn how to cook?

Trial and error, mostly.

Mostly error.

Well, you figured it out eventually.

Hey, you think you could teach me how to boil some water before I start class

next semester? Because I don't think being able to call out for pizza

is going to cut it with my teacher.

Well, boiling water is a tough one, but I think we might be able to manage.

You know, your dad called today.

He wants to see you.

Yeah, well, I'd like to see my mom.

Maddie, your father's in a rehabilitation facility. He's trying to

together. What, by ruining mine?

Maddie, look, your father agreed to this arrangement because he thought it was

for the best. He never gave up his right to visit.

So I have to see him?

Hey, I'm going to be there with you the whole time, all right?

Does the judge say I have to hug him, too, and tell him I forgive him and

pretend like we're a big, happy family?

Look, I know that this is difficult, but I also know that you can handle it. I

know I can.

Can you?

Stop it. No.

Stop it.

You're ticklish. No.

The response he wanted.

The response I wanted didn't seem to bother you 20 minutes ago.

You know, I should go away more often if this is the homecoming I'm going to

get. Don't, Clay.

One of these days the welcoming committee might not be so welcoming.

You mad that I'm leaving?

That I wasn't here when Sadiq showed up?

Neither. That would be irrational.

I've never stopped you before.

Drop it, Clay. I'm not angry, okay?

You didn't see it fit to mention this non -anger when I walked in the door?

They give men a bad rap for being able to put their emotions aside and fall

bed. Oh, so what? Now I have no feelings because I slept with you first and

asked questions later?

I didn't say that.

Then what are you saying?

You're running on adrenaline, Sarah.

Like it or not, it's a rush to kill somebody.

And it's nothing conscious, but it does make you feel more alive.

More passionate. You're twisted, Clay.

There's a documented connection between intimate violence and sexuality.

What kind of a sick person are you?

And we were so close.

So close to what?

To having a nice evening.

You're looking for an argument I don't want to have.

So you're just going to walk out right in the middle of it?

My cab's probably here.

Besides... You should thank me for walking out.

A lot of guys stay and fight back.

Oh, yeah, go ahead.

Disappear. Why break the pattern of a lifetime?

What happened to a pre -trial agreement?

Corporal Strange isn't interested, sir. He wants a trial to air his grievances

against the Marine Corps.

He says he never lied about his exploits in Panama, claims his unit wouldn't

vouch for him.

So now you think he's telling the truth?

C .F .C. Wallace did suffer a compound leg fracture outside the Arizon Tank

in 1989.

A Lance Corporal Petrosian was treated for a through -and -through shoulder

wound the same night.

What happened to your hand?

Nothing, sir.

Why this sudden about -face with Corporal Strange?

He feels his actions were meritorious and he's being treated unfairly. I think

he may be right.

It's not like you to believe an unsubstantiated story like this.

Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do. Maybe you came back to

too soon, Colonel.

Mac.

Been through a hell of a lot. By a lot, you mean I had to kill the bad guy?

Like Marines are supposed to do? It's nothing I haven't had to do before, sir.

Marines need some down time.

Admiral, I take great solace in the fact that I helped Sadiq Fah detain the

martyrdom he so deeply desired.

I'm sure I'll be getting a fruit basket any day now from the White House for

getting rid of an international terrorist of his caliber.

You're dismissed.

Aye, aye, sir.

How did you meet Corporal Strange?

I saw his advertisement in the school district newsletter.

He said he'd been a combat veteran of the Panama Crisis who'd been awarded the

Silver Star.

What was his lecture fee based on the qualifications he claimed to have?

$200.

I thought it would be worth it for the kids to hear a man who proved his

patriotism. Little did I know the guy was just a traitor to the Marine Corps

to his country.

Objection. Opinion and inflammatory.

Sustained. No further questions, Your Honor. Mr. Worley, what happened to your

hand? I was playing Polonius.

I'm the drama teacher.

And I fell. It's just a hairline fracture.

Now, is it true that you attempted to join the Marine Corps in 1984?

Yes. I couldn't pass the physical. And you've had a love -hate relationship

those who did pass the physical ever since. Isn't that also true?

Is defense counsel reading minds now, Your Honor?

Stay out of the witness's head, Colonel.

Yes, Your Honor.

You have flat feet and a spastic colon, don't you, Mr. Worley? What?

Irrelevant, Your Honor. I agree.

Sustained. So how is it that you got a close enough look at Corporal Strange's

medal to realize that it wasn't really his?

When he was preparing his notes, I took it out of the box.

Just wanted to see what it looked like on me.

You wanted to play Marine War Hero, is that it? You're just a jarhead groupie,

and I think you enjoyed bringing a real Marine to his knees.

Your Honor, defense counsel is attacking my witness.

Sustained. Colonel McKenzie, I will hold you in contempt.

The witness may step down.

He's courted in recess.

Walk you out, Tiger?

I don't know what happened in there.

I started questioning him and I just lost it.

The client doesn't seem to mind.

The client has a chip on his shoulder.

Colonel?

My office?

Yes, sir.

Everything

okay, bud?

Everything's great, sir.

Have a good night.

Good night.

Lieutenant Robert, I have an extra pen.

Oh, that's okay. I'll find mine.

What the hell happened to you in the courtroom today?

I'm sorry, sir.

Sorry doesn't cut it. I'll write a letter of apology to Judge Blakely and

Worley. You'll do better than that.

Bethesda has an excellent psychology department. You will make yourself

available. You think I need a shrink?

Tom, Colonel.

Sorry, sir, but I feel fine. You're trying to pretend that you just didn't

through hell and you're doing a damn awful job of it. You think I'm in

I'm not an expert in the field, Colonel. That's why I'm sending you to Bethesda.

That is hardly fair, sir, given your recent behavior.

Denying your own broken heart.

Lock it up, Marine.

If I didn't have as much respect for you as I do, that insubordination would go

on your permanent record.

Now, you will get your butt to that shrink before you exhaust what's left of

charitable nature.

Maddie, why don't you tell your dad about your new school?

I'm going to school.

Oh, how is it?

It's fine.

Maddie made the volleyball team.

Oh, that's great.

What are you doing? Harm has a nice place here. He doesn't want you smoking

up. Maddie, it's okay.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, no, it's fine.

You're always sorry, aren't you?

I'm so embarrassed.

Tom, please.

Yeah, thanks for the pizza.

No, I don't want to make things worse.

Well, look, Tom, at least let me drive you back to the center, all right? No,

it's okay. I'll take the train.

Come on, Tom. Look, I'd appreciate it if you'd let me give you a ride.

Well, it wasn't very nice.

I told you he couldn't behave himself.

I was talking about you, Maddie.

You always overreact like that with your dad? You're obviously taking his side

because you think that if I kiss and make up with him, I can just go back

and live with him. That's not true, and you know it.

Maddie, there are no sides to this.

You're his daughter.

And whether you realize it or not, one day you're going to regret pushing him

out of your life.

There's nothing wrong.

Sometimes I think I was happier before I met you.

Are you going to let me in?

You like shadows, don't you, Clay?

You work in them, you live in them.

Well, I prefer to call it ambiance.

I haven't tasted wine in a long time.

I thought we decided to take a few days apart.

Yeah, I decided I didn't want that.

Sarah?

Sarah?

Sarah?

This isn't you.

Yeah?

Who am I?

Normally, you're reasonable, composed, in control of yourself.

You ever think that as a Marine, I've trained to handle difficult things?

Some of the best people I know, Marines and otherwise, have been strong enough

to ask for help.

What, are you and Ched Wooden comparing notes now? You both think I need a

shrink? Maybe we both see the same thing.

And we both care about you. Did you talk to someone?

After Paraguay?

At the briefing with an agency psychologist at the SOP.

Oh, and is that why you travel with a bottle?

Kanye, a reminder of the worst thing that ever happened to you.

Did you tell your counselor about your desire to do penance?

A lot happened on that mission.

I felt guilty for putting you in danger.

I was mad at myself for letting Sadiq get his hands on me and for letting him

get away.

I failed to complete my assignment.

Oh, that's right.

I had to do it for you just last week. And you can't stand that. Sarah, go home

and get some rest.

You can't just dismiss me, Clay.

I'm not one of your field assets hanging on your every order.

Things, places, you don't have a single picture of a human being in here. I

guess people with all of their inconvenient emotions are just too

for you.

Things get a little sticky and you're showing me the door? Says the woman who

hasn't had one consistent relationship in her entire life. Oh, I forgot. You

have harm.

You don't know anything about him. I know that his being unavailable has

you something to hide behind.

I didn't mean that. Yes, you did. Don't touch me. Oh, come on. I thought that's

why you came, because you wanted me to touch you.

See, I've been stupid enough to think that you like the feeling of my hands on

you, Sarah. Think what you want. Just get out of my way. Well, come on. It's

taken us eight months to get this far. You're ready to throw it away in one

night? This far? Just where are we, Webb? And what am I throwing away?

A shot at happiness, Sarah.

You don't have what it takes to make me happy.

Why are you here, Colonel?

My CO suggested it.

Suggested it or insisted on it?

The latter.

My significant other made a similar request.

Why do you think they did that?

I've been anxious.

I just think the world around me isn't moving fast enough to keep up with me.

You were involved in a hostage situation recently.

Is that what my file says?

I'll be honest, Colonel.

Since this case is still under investigation by the CIA, most of what

to know to help you is classified.

Well, let me enlighten you, Commander.

A very bad man tried to lure me into a trap.

But I'd learned my lesson. I knew him before, so I wore a wire.

I tipped the feds off to a terrorist bombing and I walked away in one piece.

I killed a man who...

Under

interrogation could

have given us half the players in the feds terrorist watch list.

You said you knew this man?

He tried to kill me before.

You know, when people consume your time and mental energy, for better or worse,

they become part of your psyche.

Killing this man may have left a hole in your subconscious.

He invoked fear in you.

Now that the fear is gone, the exhilaration of keeping one step ahead

gone.

You think I miss the bastard?

It's possible that you miss the rush.

of rehearsing the confrontation that you thought was inevitable.

That's why your reaction to his death wasn't satisfaction, but continued

aggressive behavior.

Unless there's more to the story.

Something from your past you'd like to talk about?

Coats, where are the refills to my pins? You been organizing me again?

Only because I know how much you value efficiency, sir. I stocked your desk

according to the most frequently used items, legal pads in front, then your

highlighters, and then... Excuse me, sir, is everything okay in here?

The refill is in the bottom right drawer, sir.

What is it you needed, Lieutenant?

Oh, I've just lost track of something, sir.

Sir?

Oh, it's the paperweight Dr. Cavanaugh gave you, sir.

Sorry, sir.

May I be excused, sir?

Yes.

Thank you, sir.

Vincent Thompson?

Sir. There you are.

The prosecution has proposed a pre -trial agreement that will allow you to

a trial. All you have to do is plead guilty to bringing the snake into the

United States. Paula, sir.

The snake's name is Paula.

Okay, if you agreed to plead guilty to smuggling Paula onto a military aircraft

into the United States, you don't have to serve any break time.

Okay? I have a few conditions, Lieutenant.

I really don't think that you're in position to be making any demands,

They'll kill her, sir.

Paula is very special to me. The least I can do is make sure she goes to a zoo

and not to a wallet factory.

I don't know.

The convening authority would agree to that. But you can ask, can't you, sir?

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, I can.

I can ask.

Corporal Strange, can you explain the term metal inflation to the court?

Yes, ma 'am.

It's when a high percentage of the participants in a combat situation are

awarded medals.

Such as was the case following the Panama crisis.

That's correct, ma 'am. I fail to see what relevance this has to the charges,

Your Honor.

I'll allow it.

But take me from A to Z in a timely manner, Colonel.

Yes, Your Honor.

Now, you never received a personal award for your service in Panama, but you

know men who did.

Is that right?

Yes, ma 'am.

I know a corporal who received the Navy Commendation Medal for being a chauffeur

and a gunny.

who got the Bronze Star for nearly shooting his own foot off in a

to mention the Purple Heart awarded to Lance Corporal Petrosian, the man that I

personally pulled out of enemy fire.

All these medals awarded, and yet you were overlooked despite the evidence you

provided to support your story.

I managed to get hold of medical records, ma 'am, for Wallace and

After the conflict, I even went back to Panama and took pictures of where it

happened. I mapped the whole thing out. Still, nobody believed me.

Your student lectures were the truth, weren't they, Corporal Strange?

Yes, ma 'am.

And wouldn't you say the truth is worth a $200 speaking fee?

Corporal Strange's alleged actions in combat are not the issue, Your Honor.

Objection sustained.

We'll continue after lunch.

Court is in recess until 1500.

Ensign Thompson has asked me to propose a pre -trial agreement while he's in the

hospital. He agrees to plead guilty to conduct unbecoming and violating custom

regulations. Are you all right, Lieutenant?

Yes, ma 'am.

Why?

You're sweating.

I am?

Oh.

I was running.

Running late, ma 'am.

Ensign Thompson is still facing a general article violation.

Yes, ma 'am. Animal cruelty. But he's made it clear to me that he can't in

conscience plead guilty to that charge.

Is he claiming he didn't do it? Well, he's claiming it wasn't cruelty.

He believes that Paula, his name for the snake, willingly accompanied him on the

C -130, ma 'am.

I don't want to waste the Navy's time with this. The Article 134 charges

dropped, and I'll disapprove any confinement if the Ensign leads to the

remaining charges.

Ensign Thompson has one condition.

He doesn't want the snake destroyed.

He wants it to go to a zoo.

Does this particular snake's venom cause brain damage?

Well, now, just some slight nerve damage, ma 'am. And that's only if the

-venom isn't administered in the first five hours.

which you can pretty much count on.

Anyway, her bite won't be as lethal, since it takes quite a while to build

venom back up, and it's been, what, one, two?

I'll have my staff judge advocate contact the National Zoo.

Produce Paula in my office by close of business tomorrow.

Tomorrow, ma 'am?

Thank you.

Can I go?

Yes, Lieutenant.

Metal inflation?

Just giving my client the defense he deserves.

Come on, Mac. You're arguing everything but the case in there.

I mean, your client has shown bad judgment and no sense of responsibility.

Doesn't it bother you as a fellow Marine that even when this guy's cornered, he

still won't own up to making a mistake?

Come on, Harmon. When was the last time you admitted to being wrong about

anything? Oh, you want to get personal?

Yeah, maybe I do.

All right.

I'm the one with grown -up responsibilities now.

Maddie, the house I'm trying to buy. At least I'm finally letting people into my

life. Hmm, toys.

What happens when you get bored with suburbia harm?

Are you going to just lose interest in Maddie like you did your brother?

He preferred life in Russia to being here and being ignored by you.

You fight to draw people into your circle just so you can push them away

You know, this isn't about me losing interest in Maddie.

You think I'm losing interest in you.

Corporal Strange, how many times did you petition the Marine Corps to receive

the Silver Star?

Four times, sir. And how many times were you denied that award, Corporal?

You know the answer to that already, Commander.

Four times.

Well, please tell the Corps why your attempts to receive the retroactive

were denied on so many occasions.

Because my buddies wouldn't back me up about what happened, sir. Well,

isn't it in fact because the Marine Corps has no record of your alleged

It's because the men I saved that night decided I didn't deserve it, Commander.

That's why.

Why would a group of Marines get together and stonewall a fellow Marine?

Because they didn't like me.

See, I was a loner.

They didn't consider me to be part of their little club.

Well, Corporal, that's the problem with being a loner.

You're always on the outside looking in.

You make it impossible to be a friend, and then you wonder why you feel so

alone.

I have no further questions.

I thought about what you said, that my aggression was just to fill a void left

by the absence of the man I killed.

Do you think I was right?

In a way.

My childhood was unpredictable.

I was always afraid my father would mistake me for my mother and put his

through my face.

You develop instincts when you live like that.

You felt the thrill when faced with a man who wanted you dead.

There's nothing thrilling about it.

I went back to thinking I was the only person who could look out for me. Every

disagreement became a chance to attack.

Including your arguments in court. Yes, but I'm fine now.

I think there's still more to talk about, don't you?

You killed your husband in self -defense, Colonel.

That was a long time ago.

It was a similar situation.

No, I cared about my husband, despite his faults.

That event was a tragedy. What happened last week was just taking out the

garbage.

I've satisfied my CO's request that I speak to a counselor.

No long -term treatment was ever part of the deal, so I think I'm done.

Very well.

You know, you can always come back anytime you like.

Thanks for driving me to school.

Look, I'll walk you in. No, it's okay.

No, I want to.

Where'd you get these?

I stopped on the way home and picked them up from a youth center.

Allison?

It's for teenagers with alcoholic parents.

They meet, they talk about their problems. There's no adults allowed.

I thought it might be good.

I'll make you a deal.

I promise to think about this if you promise to forgive me for being such a

brat. Deal.

I thought we were winning, ma 'am. You're not winning legally or

like I give a damn. You should.

You were a competent Marine. You could have done great things, but your

alienated everyone around you.

Now, I believe you saved those men, but I can't prove it. I can't get you

acquitted on the charges you face because you're guilty.

But if you can provide one eyewitness to what happened, you might earn yourself

some leniency among the members.

Petrosian and the others... Have you ever asked nicely?

Buddy Petrosian runs a family butcher shop in College Park.

Here's the address.

The rest is up to you.

If Petrosian is willing, call me. I can file for a continuance if we need one.

Yes, ma 'am.

Lieutenant Robert?

Yes, sir?

Would you join me in my office, please?

Now, sir? Yes, Lieutenant.

Would you have a look under my desk, Lieutenant?

Sir?

Under the desk, Lieutenant.

Yes, sir.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

Oh, sir.

Oh, sir.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Where did you find her? Not where she should

have been, Lieutenant, at the zoo or some hole.

I do trust she'll be leaving us soon.

Yes, sir. She has a date with the convening authority in...

One hour.

Mr. Petrosyan, what is the nature of your relationship with Hal Strange?

Up until this morning, I'd have said we didn't have one.

But you did serve in Panama with him, didn't you?

We were in the same unit.

He wasn't a nice man, was he?

Truth be told, he was a jackass.

A man who would argue constantly about everything from baseball to politics.

Made it clear that the rest of us weren't made of the same stuff that he

Didn't stop him from pulling you out of the line of fire when you were shot by

enemy combatants, though, did it?

No, ma 'am.

His clear dislike of me didn't seem to affect his decision to put his own life

in danger to save mine.

We'd get out of there.

Had us outnumbered. But you did make it, didn't you?

Me and Wallace, the others.

Hal saved our skins that night.

Thank you for your honesty.

I have nothing further.

Mr. Petrosian, were you ever contacted by Headquarters Marine Corps seeking

confirmation of Corporal Strange's claims?

Yes. But you didn't make that confirmation.

Did you?

So you were lying then.

Or you're lying now.

Your Honor. Valid question, Colonel.

I was lying then, sir.

We all were.

After they patched me up, I went to thank Corporal Strange.

He looked at me like I was dirt under his boots.

Said I wasn't a real Marine.

Said the only reason we found ourselves in that mess was because Wallace was a

klutz and the rest of us were amateurs.

Well, I told the other guys.

And we decided then never to admit to what had happened that night.

Guess Hal's not the only guy who can hold a grudge long past refusefulness.

All I ever wanted was an apology for what he said.

That can go a long way.

Have no further questions, Your Honor.

You can step down, Mr. Petrosian.

Thank you for what you did.

Your Honor, I'd like to recall Corporal Strange to the stand. So noted, Colonel.

I remind the accused that he is still under oath.

What impact do you think Mr. Petrosian's testimony should have on the outcome of

your case?

In terms of the charges I'm facing, ma 'am?

None.

You never meant to sully the image of the Marine Corps, did you, Corporal

Strange? No, ma 'am.

You just wanted someone to recognize what you've been through.

And in your anger, you went about it the wrong way.

Isn't that so?

It is, ma 'am.

I don't expect to walk out of this a free man.

I just hope that in sentencing my combat actions are considered.

And I'll sleep better now.

Now that I know they remember.

The defense rests, Your Honor.

I know I've been acting like someone I'm not, and I'm sorry for that.

Oh, you weren't alone.

I wish I hadn't reacted the way I did.

You just have to give yourself some time to get over this, Sarah.

Sadiq was trained in psychological terror. It's not a sign of weakness if

need a while to get over it.

Longer than you need it, you mean? It's not a competition. You know, it almost

sounds like you're jealous.

that I'm the one who finally got him. I don't like that I wasn't there. You're

never there, Clay.

Oh, I had to learn to take care of myself. Even Sadiq said that I was brave

showing up alone.

Diapse 101, to remind you how vulnerable you were. Oh, so now I fell for his

game? I don't want to argue about it, Sarah. What happened to what you said to

me in Paraguay?

That you would always listen to me, how you would never make me wonder. This is

the real world, Sarah. I'm not dealing with you when you're like this. Just

me up one more time when I need you.

And we're done.

Sadiq wanted me.

and I let him look at me.

A woman.

I didn't cover up.

I just took off my coat, and I dared him to look to see if he was as pure of

thought as he claimed to be.

I wanted to prove to myself that he was just like every other man.

I don't know how to take that.

He resisted. He resisted me in a way that I wish I could have resisted

temptation my entire life.

He made me feel weak. It's okay, Sarah. It's not okay.

He did what he intended. He reduced me to someone who acts on impulse without

intellect.

He was down when I shot him.

And armed.

That report was agency charity, Clay.

He was winged in the shoulder and he couldn't fire at me.

You can never know that for sure. Oh, I know what I did.

I didn't shoot him because I thought he was going to shoot at me. I killed him

for what he was.

And because I was angry for what he did.

I love you too.