Original subtitles

♪ I GOTCHA WITH MY WINNIN' SMILE ♪

♪ I'M A LIVING LESSON IN FLAIR AND STYLE ♪

♪ YOU JUST CAN'T HELP BUT STARE AT MY SAVOIR-FAIRE ♪ ♪

♪ I'M NOUVEAU, DECO, ROMAN-GRECO, ♪

♪ ROCOCO, BARROCO, BE-BOP, HIP-HOP, FLIP-FLOP ♪

SOMEBODY STOP ME!

♪ PRETTY VIRIDIAN FACES LIKE MINE ♪

♪ DON'T COME A DIME A DOZEN ♪

♪ I STAND OUT OF THE CROWD ♪

♪ BABE, WHEN THEY MADE ME, YEAH, THEY BROKE THE MOLD ♪

♪ WHOLESOME AND KIND, STAID AND REFINED, ♪

♪ TOTALLY OUT OF MY MIND ♪

♪ ARCH-VILLAINS AND NE'ER-DO-WELLS ♪

♪ HAD BETTER LEARN TO DECORATE PRISON CELLS ♪

♪ GREEN GOES WITH ANYTHING IF THEY ASK, SEE ♪

♪ WELL, THERE'S ONE LAST THING ♪

♪ I GOTTA SING ABOUT ♪

♪ OPEN UP WIDE AND REALLY SHOUT ♪

♪ OH, LOOK OUT ♪

♪ THIS IS THE MASK ♪♪

SMOKIN'!

♪

LOOK, THIS IS A COMIC BOOK CONVENTION,

NOT A LIBRARY.

A-A-A-ARE YOU GONNA BUY IT?

AW... BOY, IT SURE IS A LOT OF MONEY.

IT'S A GALACTIC AVENGER WITH A CAPITAL "A",

NUMBER ONE IN MINT CONDITION,

A REAL COLLECTOR'S ITEM.

THIS IS A CLASSIC.

♪

LET'S DO IT.

♪

IT ONLY TOOK MY LIFE'S SAVINGS,

BUT AT LAST, I CAN FIND OUT HOW

THE GALACTIC AVENGER DEFEATED

THE DARK STAR TRIO!

WELL, LOOKEE HERE.

IF IT ISN'T IPKISS.

I DIDN'T BELIEVE THE CHIEF

WHEN HE SAID THIS CHUBBY,

PIMPLE-FACED, GEEK-BOY CONVENTION

WOULD ATTRACT EVERY GUTTER RAT IN TOWN,

BUT NOW, I DO.

NICE TO SEE YOU TOO, LIEUTENANT.

GOTTA GO! I'M ON MY LUNCH BREAK, SO...

NOT SO FAST, JACKSON!

WHAT DO YOU HAVE HERE?

OH, YOU, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO READ IT.

COME ON.

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.

IF I WANTED TO READ TRASH

I'D GET A LIBRARY CARD WITH THE SANITATION DEPARTMENT.

IT'S JUST A COMIC BOOK.

WELL, NOT JUST ANY COMIC BOOK.

IT'S, IT'S THE GALACTIC AVENGER

NUMBER ONE COMIC BOOK!

OH! NO! BE CAREFUL!

IT, IT'S IN MINT CONDITION!

GALACTIC AVENGER NUMBER ONE?

WHOA! LET ME TOUCH IT!

IS THAT A CHILI DOG?!

HAVE SOME, IT'S GOOD, GO AHEAD.

DOYLE, GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF.

YOU'RE NOT A CHUBBY,

PIMPLY-FACED, GEEK-BOY ARE YA?

OH BOY, OH BOY.

YOU KNOW, I USED TO HAVE

THIS ISSUE WHEN I WAS A KID.

I THINK MY MOM THREW IT AWAY THOUGH.

WELL, MOM'S ARE GENETICALLY PROGRAMMED TO DO THAT.

COME ON!

I LOVE GALACTIC AVENGER!

ESPECIALLY THIS DOG, QUASAR.

OO, AND THE DARK STAR TRIO, THEY ARE MEAN DUDES.

ISN'T THIS WORTH A LOT OF MONEY?

YES, IT IS!

THIS FISH WRAP?

HOW MUCH?

LIEUTENANT!

GIVE IT BACK!

THAT'S NOT JUST A BOOK!

THAT'S MY LIFE SAVINGS!

ALL RIGHT.

BABY WANTS HIS BOTTLE.

AGH!

LIEUTENANT, THAT GUY RIPPED YOU OFF!

DOYLE, I KNOW!

AFTER HIM!

ONLY ONE WAY TO CATCH THAT SPEEDING COMIC!

♪

SIDE STITCH!

GET IN!

THAT THIEVING GUTTER RAT CAN'T OUTRUN EIGHT CYLINDERS

AND MY BAD TEMPER!

♪

ONWARD, MAXIMUS!

NODUS COMICUS BOOKUS STRAIGHT AHEAD US!

HMM?

HAIL, CAESAR ROMERO!

HAIL, FLAT-FOOTUS!

HEY, MR. ROMAN CHARIOT DRIVER!

PLEASE OBSERVATE THE SPEED LIMIT NOW!

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

DOYLE, IT'S THE MASK!

OH, HEH.

HUH?

TOGA PARTY!

♪

SOMEBODY STOP ME!

IF ANYTHING HAPPENED ON THE WAY

TO THE COMIC BOOK CONVENTION... WHOA!

♪

BUT LIEUTENANT, THE THIEF WENT THAT WAY!

CAN'T YOU SEE?

THEY'RE WORKING TOGETHER!

IT'S A CONSPIRACY!

♪

I SAW HIM COME IN HERE.

♪

THE COMIC!

♪

UM, I DON'T SEE HIM, LIEUTENANT.

GREAT!

I LOST TWO PUNKS TODAY, AND THAT'S TWO PUNKS

OVER MY LIMIT!

I KNOW WHAT LET'S DO.

HOW'S ABOUT WE STOP OFF

AT THE SLURP-A-LOOP FOR AN ICE CREAM CONE

AND MY TREAT?

STUFF YOUR FACE ON YOUR OWN TIME.

WE'RE GOING BACK TO THE CONVENTION.

IF THAT THIEF TURNS UP AGAIN,

WE'RE GONNA BE THERE WAITIN' FOR HIM.

♪

WARMACHINE, THE GALACTIC AVENGER

IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN.

HE HAS ESCAPED OUR CLUTCHES

ONCE AGAIN, DRAGON LADY.

RIPTIDE?

YOU WERE EXPECTING KEVIN COSTNER?

WE WILL FIND THE GALACTIC AVENGER

AND MAKE HIM PAY DEARLY

FOR IMPRISONING US ON POLICE PLANET ALDERON!

WEAK PLOT, BAD DIALOGUE.

YOU SUPERVILLAINS ARE STINKO!

EVEN IF SOME OF YOU ARE GORGEOUS.

WHOA! YOU GOTTA GET OFF THAT INK AND PAPER DIET, BABE.

IT'S SPO-HO-HO-HO-HOILING YOUR CURVES.

♪

BREATH MINT!

I'll PUT THIS FOOL THROUGH THE SPIN CYCLE!

♪

MANY THANKS, GUNGA DIN.

YA KNOW, YOU GUYS OUGHT TO REALLY TRY

THESE X-RAY GLASSES I PICKED UP FROM AN AD

BACK ON PAGE FIVE.

OH!

YOU CAN SEE THE BONES!

AND THAT'S NOT ALL!

HUBBA, HUBBA!

WAIT! THE GREEN ONE COULD BE OF USE TO US.

HE MAY LEAD US TO THE GALACTIC AVENGER!

HEY!

KEEP ME OUT OF YOUR STORYLINE, HUH?

CARUMBA!

I'VE JUST SAID A BUBBLE-FULL.

ARGH!

AFTER HIM!

THE GREEN-HEADED ONE MUST... ♪

B IS FOR BUH-BYE!

NO, HE MUSTN'T ESCAPE!

♪

CAN'T FORGET THE NERD BOY'S PRIZE.

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE US.

♪

♪

SUPER MONKEY MOVIE MARATHON?

WELL, I'VE JUST GOTTA, GOTTA,

GOTTA, GOTTA BE THERE!

♪

WHAT IS THIS STRANGE DRY PLACE?

MY SYSTEMS SURVEY THIS ONE-SUN WORLD

AS A MATCH FOR THE GALACTIC AVENGER'S

HOME PLANET!

WE MUST WREAK OUR REVENGE!

BUT WHERE TO FIND HIM?

THE GREEN ONE WILL TELL US!

♪

HEY!

3D!

WE SEEK THE GREEN ONE!

WHAT A RIP!

YOU AREN'T SUPER MONKEYS!

YOU'RE THOSE DEADBEATS FROM THE COMIC BOOK!

PARTNERS, WE DON'T PARTICULARLY CARE FOR BAD DRAWINGS

IN THESE HERE PARTS.

NOW, I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED EXACTLY,

BUT I'll SAY IT'S BEST YA'LL MOSEY ON BACK.

INTO THE KID'S FUNNYBOOK WHERE YOU ALL BELONG,

OR I AIN'T JUST GONNA DRAW YA,

I'MA GONNA RUB YOU OUT.

YOUR WEAPONS DO NOT FRIGHTEN US,

SILLY GREEN MAN.

OUR POWERS WILL EASILY DESTROY YOU!

OH, PLEASE!

NOT THAT!

NOT THE DREADED INK STAIN OR THE EVIL PAPER CUT!

♪

SOLID!

WHOA! JUMPING OUT OF THAT COMIC HAS SURE PUT SOME MEAT

ON YOUR BONES, JUNIOR.

WHICH IN YOUR CASE, IS A GOOD THING!

♪

SMOKIN'!

♪

NOTHIN' LIKE A WARM HOT TUB

TO LOOSEN UP THE MUSCLES.

YOU'RE IN HOT WATER NOW!

BET YOU'RE A BED WETTER, HUH?

TELL US WHERE THE AVENGER IS,

YOU INSIGNIFICANT PEST!

INSIGNIFICANT?

SO, I'M NOT SUPERHERO ENOUGH FOR YOU, HUH?

I, PROFESSOR LATEX, BESEECH YOU

TO RETURN TO YOUR WORLD.

WHO IS THIS STRANGE BEING?

AND WHY DOES HE CALL THAT BOOK OUR WORLD?

VERY WELL.

PREPARE TO BE JOLLY-STOMPED!

ATTACK, MY LATEX MEN!

I AM BICLOPS!

FEEL MY TEEN MUTANT-X!

♪

I THINK I NEED A STRONGER PRESCRIPTION.

TOUGH GUY, HUH?

I'M TOOLVERINE, AND I'VE TRASHED

SPACE SCUM LIKE YOU IN TWENTY QUADRANTS!

♪

THAT OUGHTA LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD, TIN MAN.

♪

LOOK! UP IN THE SKY!

IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A PLANE!

THE MASK?

NO!

IT IS SUPER SALAD MAN!

SUPER SALAD MAN, I'M REPORTER

LOIS LANEVILLE OF THE DAILY DUMP.

WHAT IS YOUR MISSION HERE ON EARTH?

TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE AS MILD-MANNERED,

ALL-AROUND MEEK GUY, AND PROFESSIONAL MENTOR,

CLARK BAR.

OH YEAH, THE GLASSES REALLY FOOL ME.

TO RECRUIT JUSTICE AND A DELICIOUS APPETIZER,

BE IT SOUP OR SALAD, BEFORE EVERY MEAL,

AND TO WASH IT ALL DOWN

WITH A REALLY SMART BEVERAGE.

♪

AH! COOL AND REFRESHING, NO?

LIKE MOUNTAIN SPRING WATER!

♪

NO VESSEL CAN CONTAIN ME!

♪

THAT COMIC-SNATCHING GUTTER RAT'S

LAYING LOW BECAUSE HE KNOWS ME BY SIGHT.

WE'VE GOT TO GET THE UPPER HAND.

ANY IDEAS, DOYLE?

DOYLE?

I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO MEET YOU, ZOBAR,

BUT PLANET MIKA IS SO FAR AWAY,

SO, YOU KNOW... DOYLE, HE'S NOT ZOBAR!

HE'S A GUY IN A STUPID...

HEY, ARE YOU THINKIN' WHAT I'M THINKIN'?

IT'S TIME FOR THAT ICE CREAM NOW?

NO!

THIS IS THE PERFECT PLACE TO GO UNDERCOVER!

♪

I AM SPIDER-HINEY!

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING,

"GOTTA CUT DOWN ON THE SNACK FOODS,"

BUT CHECK IT OUT!

♪

HA!

LET'S SEE A TICK OR AN EARTHWORM DO THAT!

UH-OH.

MY HINEY SENSE IS TINGLING.

MM, I LOVE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!

FOR THE LAST TIME, TELL US WHERE

WE CAN FIND THE GALACTIC AVENGER!

BETTER GET A PENCIL.

GO PAST SNOOPY'S DOGHOUSE,

AND HANG A LEFT AT BEETLE BAILEY'S BUNKER.

IT'S NEXT DOOR TO MARY WORTH'S PLACE.

YOU CAN'T MISS IT!

THE GALACTIC AVENGER DOESN'T EXIST, COMPRENDE?

JUST LIKE YOU DON'T EXIST!

YOU'RE MAKE-BELIEVE!

YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A FANBOY FANTASY

FROM SOME ARTIST'S PEN!

YOU GET IT? YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE!

LOOK! LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK ALL YOU WANT!

YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FIND YOUR GUY!

HE AIN'T REAL!

HELLO!

MY INFRA-VISION DETECTS SOMETHING.

LET US COMMENCE!

HEY! WHAT'S THE IN-FLIGHT MOVIE?

♪

MR. GALACTIC AVENGER!

I'VE GOT TO GET HIS AUTOGRAPH!

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!

YOU SURE ARE POPULAR WITH THE FANS,

LIEUTEN... UM, MR. AVENGER.

PICKED A GOOD DISGUISE, HUH?

DOYLE, THE IDEA WAS TO GO UNDERCOVER,

NOT BECOME A GEEK MAGNET!

GALACTIC AVENGER, HOW DID YOU

REALLY ESCAPE FROM THE SUFFERING SEVEN

IN ISSUE 46?

DON'T DROOL SO MUCH, KID.

YOU'LL DEHYDRATE.

OH, I KNOW! ASK ME!

NEVER MIND THAT, DOYLE!

JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS STUPID COSTUME

BEFORE ANYMORE IDIOTS SHOW UP!

HUH?

WHOA!

WE MEET AGAIN, AVENGER!

ONLY, THIS TIME WILL BE THE LAST.

♪

I, THE GREEN SURFER, SHALL TEACH THOSE POSERS

THE RIGHTEOUS CONCEPT OF CHILLING OUT!

♪

OH MAN, SUPERVILLAIN DUDES BAILED ON ME!

YEAH! GO GET HIM!

GET HIM! GET HIM!

SHOW HIM WHO'S BOSS!

USE YOUR BIZARREY DEATH GRIP,

LIEUTEN... UH, AVENGER!

DOYLE, SLAP THE CUFFS ON THE OTHER TWO

WHILE I TAKE CARE OF LUNCHBOX HERE!

♪

I DON'T THINK THAT'S GONNA BE POSSIBLE,

LIEUTEN... UH, AVENGER!

YOU BOZOS ARE UNDER ARREST!

♪

AW!

LOSER.

THIS IS THE ALL-POWERFUL GALACTIC AVENGER?

HE IS SOFT AND WEAK.

YOU KNOW, LIEUTENANT, I THINK

THESE PARTICULAR GUYS ARE FOR REAL.

THAT MAY BE THE CASE, DOYLE,

BUT THAT'S NOT GONNA STOP ME

FROM TAKING A PIECE OF THEM WITH ME!

HUH?

WAIT!

YOU GUYS JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YA?

THE MASK!

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HE'D BE IN CAHOOTS

WITH THESE MUTANT DIRTBAGS!

THIS IS A FLAT-FOOT!

A COP! A POLICEMAN!

A PANSER! A G-MAN!

FROM THE POLICE PLANET, ALDERON!

WHERE WE WERE IMPRISONED FOR EONS, CORRECT!

TIME TO TAKE YOU TO A WATERY GRAVE!

♪

ALL RIGHT, ASKING NICELY DIDN'T WORK

AND NEITHER DID BRUTE FORCE.

SO, I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO GIVE YOU

YOUR JUST DESSERTS!

♪

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

ANYONE FOR AN ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED

GELATIN SNACK?

RIPTIDE CAN'T BE DESTROYED WITH GELATIN MIX!

AS IF THEY DIDN'T TRY THAT

IN GALACTIC AVENGER NUMBER 34.

DOYLE, PUT A SOCK IN IT!

TO DESTROY RIPTIDE, YOU HAVE TO USE

QUICK-DRY CEMENT.

♪

THANK YOU ALL FOR THIS HONOR!

GOOD WORK, HUBBY.

YOU STILL THINK I SHOULD

PUT A SOCK IN IT, LIEUTENANT?

UH, WELL, THAT WAS REAL FANCY, DOYLE,

BUT LIKE WE SAY DOWN AT THE PRECINCT,

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED

DONNYBROOK!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST GO TO YOUR PAJAMA PARTY,

AND LEAVE THIS TO THE PROFESSIONALS, EH?

♪

OKAY!

WHAT DO I DO?

UH, WELL, YOU KNOW, AS I REMEMBER,

IN ISSUE TWO, WARMACHINE CAN ONLY

BE DESTROYED BY QUASAR,

GALACTIC AVENGER'S SPACE-DOG SIDEKICK.

UNO MOMENTO POR FAVOR.

QUASAR!

YOU'RE NEEDED IN ACTION!

♪

COME ON, BOY!

IT'S YOUR TURN TO BE THE HERO!

♪

OH NO! THERE'S A MARK AND A CREASE!

OH WELL, I GUESS IT COULD BE WORSE.

TIME TO MEET YOUR DOOM, GALACTIC AVENGER!

♪

HEY!

♪

QUASAR, FIND THE DOGGY DOOR!

♪

ALERT, ALERT!

DANGER! DAN-DANGER!

FAILING MODE!

LONG LIVE ROCK!

DAISY, DAISY, HERE WE GO...

YES!

WHO'S THE BEST SPACE-DOG?

YOU!

COME ON, MILO.

GET OFF!

YOUR FRIENDS MAY HAVE DESTROYED

RIPTIDE AND WARMACHINE, BUT THE PLEASURE

OF DESTROYING YOU IS ALL MINE!

♪

YOU'VE GOT A SCREW LOOSE, SISTER,

BUT YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE SCREWDRIVER

OF JUSTICE!

OW! OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW!

♪

OH, GREAT SEER!

GIVE US YOUR ANCIENT WISDOM,

SO THAT WE CAN DESTROY THE LAST FOUL VILLAIN!

OKAY, LET ME THINK.

DRAGON LADY'S DESTROYED BY THE...

OH, WEEZILS... UM, OH!

SHE'S DESTROYED BY THE COMIC MANICURE!

NO, THAT'S NOT... OH, MUTANT EGGPLANT!

NO.

OR WAS IT THE TIME THAT SHE WAS WAXED

BY THE GUY FROM ALPHA CENTARI...

THAT'S IT!

THE SPACE TOAD CHEESE WILL DESTROY HER!

♪

YODEL-AY-EE-OOOO!

♪

OOPS, THAT WAS THE THING THAT BROUGHT 'EM

BACK TO LIFE MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER!

GOSH, I FEEL LIKE SUCH A BAD FAN!

DOYLE!

NOW, WE SHALL PUT AN END TO ALL OF YOU

ONCE AND FOR ALL!

IT'S A LONG SHOT, BUT IT'S WORTH A TRY,

EVEN IF STANLEY'S REALLY GONNA

HATE ME FOR IT IN THE MORNING.

NO!

NOT GALACTIC AVENGER NUMBER ONE!

NO!

♪

GONE-CITY!

YEAH, GONE-CITY.

AW, NOTHING A LITTLE TAPE AND A COUPLE OF PAPERCLIPS

WON'T FIX.

COME ON, DOYLE.

LET'S GET THAT ICE CREAM.

♪

POOR STANLEY.

♪

MY LIFE SAVINGS FOR A PILE OF CONFETTI!

SPECIAL DELIVERY!

THANKS, MILO.

NOW, WHAT ON EARTH COULD THIS BE?

I'M DREAMING!

OH, IT CAN'T BE!

DEAR STANLEY, COME TO FIND OUT

I FOUND MY COPY OF GALACTIC AVENGER

IN MY MOM'S CLOSET LAST NIGHT,

AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.

A SYMPATHETIC FAN, DOYLE.

AW! WHAT A GREAT GUY!

NOW, I CAN FINALLY FIND OUT HOW

THE GALACTIC AVENGER DEFEATED

THE DARK STAR TRIO!

NO.

NO, IT CAN'T BE!

IT'S... IT'S... IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

SMOKIN'!

♪