Original subtitles

[yelling]

♪ I got ya with my winning smile ♪

♪ I'm a living lesson in flair and style ♪

♪ You just can't help but stare at my savoir-faire ♪

♪ I'm Nouveau, Deco, Roman-Greco ♪

♪ Rococo, Barroco ♪

♪ Be-bop, hip-hop, flip-flop ♪

Somebody stop me!

♪ Pretty viridian faces like mine ♪

Don't come a dime a dozen, I stand out of the crowd!

♪ Babe when they made me Yeah they broke the mold! ♪

Wholesome and kind, staid and refined, totally out of my mind!

♪ Arch-villains and ne'er-do-wells ♪

♪ Had better learn to decorate prison cells ♪

Green goes with anything if they ask, see?

♪ Well there's one last thing I gotta sing about ♪

Open up wide and really shout!

Whoa, look out!

♪ This is the Mask! ♪♪

Smokin'!

[machine whirring]

That'll do it.

[laser shoots] [grunts]

Excellent, now bring me those computer chips.

Yep, you've got the touch, Bernie. So shiny I can see my face in 'em!

Papa's ready for some stepping out tonight!

[horn honking]

[coughing]

All right, punks. When you start messing with the patent leather, you got trouble.

[siren blaring]

[gasps] It's the cops!

Pull over. Do not pass "Go". Do not collect $200.

Nice ring of authority, don't you think?

Maybe we outta dump the truck and hightail it.

No, you cowardly imbecile. The merchandise is crucial to my plan.

Hit the gas and outrun them.

I think we lost them.

[both scream]

Hi there, boys. Know where a girl can get a hot fudge sundae in this town?

It's the Mask!

Don't you dare let him get the chips.

Did you say chips? All right!

[crunching sound]

Yuck! Must be those newfangled fat-free kind.

Nothing a little salsa can fix.

[crunching sound]

[gulps] [burps]

De-lic-ious!

Uh, somebody sound Taps, 'cause I'm about to turn out your lights.

[both laughing]

[gun cocking sound]

[coughing]

Smokin'!

[Pretorius] With those computer chips, I could've implanted a virus

in enough computers to bring down the city!

Now I'll have to do it another way.

But I promise you this...

The Mask has interfered with my plans for the last time!

I have to come up with another plan.

What have we here?

Ah, a perfect print.

Fibers from the Mask's suit.

This should be all I need to get him out of my hair for good.

With the help of a couple of dimwit cops.

[birds chirping]

[man] Someone stole the orphan little leaguer's cookie fund?

[children crying]

We kept all the money in here officer.

And now it's gone. They took all the cookies, too.

Boy, that's too bad.

Oh, my favorite's those vanilla sandwich kind.

I like to separate the top from the bottom and then just lick out all that cream...

Shut up, Doyle.

And start looking for clues.

Hmm... no sign of forced entry.

Who else had access to this room?

Well, no one.

[groans] Now the kids won't be able to get their new uniforms.

[all crying]

We're dealing with a real sicko here?

Now let me take a closer...

Ah-ha! Looks like we've got a print.

Doyle, bag this and get it down to the lab.

Right.

Not the magnifying glass, you idiot. The jar.

Oh. [Chuckles] Good thinkin'.

Don't worry, we'll nail this creep.

And when we do, he's going away for a good, long time.

[man] I fed those prints into the computer.

If he's ever had contact with the police we'll have a match.

[dinging sound]

I knew it!

Gee, chief, hows come we got the Mask's prints in our files?

He's never been arrested. At least not by you, anyway.

That's what you think.

I busted him two years ago for jaywalking.

What about that fiber?

[whirring]

See for yourself.

I've waited years for this, Doyle.

But now I got him!

[laughing]

By now, that nitwit law officer cop

will have fallen for the evidence I planted.

You're not getting away this time you green-faced cookie snatcher.

[tires screeching]

You know, that battleship was definitely not

on our bumper when we left the precinct, huh?

[cop] If we can't arrest him, we'll hit him where it hurts the most, his ego.

He thinks everybody loves him. Well, think again, creep.

And at the heart wrenching cries of these adorable children,

fall upon the ears of an outraged public.

The Mask remains the sole suspect in this despicable crime.

What do you mean I've been...

[gulps] banned?

I used to be an orphan little leaguer myself, you creep.

[video game noises]

Stand back and watch kiddies, 'cause daddy's hot tonight!

[dinging]

Yes! I'm invincible! I... ooh.

Here, maybe this will keep you from stealing from orphans.

But I didn't do it.

Well, maybe you did.

Maybe you've got one of those...

split personalities.

Me, split personality?

That's just nuts.

Exactly.

[screams]

I'm taking you in, Mask.

You're going to pay for what you did to those orphans.

I'm innocent and I'll prove it.

I'll have my day in court.

They'll never convict an innocent man!

Guilty!

And then again, I could be wrong.

Now what we have here is a failure to illuminate.

[gasps] No lights! How will I scratch out my best-selling prison diary?

Oh, this is barbaric! It's cruel and unusual!

Nah, we do it all the time.

[chuckles]

They can't break me.

I'm strong! I'm tough! I'm mean!

[bird chirps]

Aww. Hi there, little birdie. Are you lonely? I'll be your friend.

[speaks gibberish]

Hiya. How you doing? Good-looking tattoo.

Do it yourself? Nice.

Hi there, pal. Nice to meet ya.

[grunts]

Quite a manly grip you got there.

Mind if I sit in?

[grunts]

And that would translate to,

"Certainly, we'd be delighted to have you join us."

So, what are we playing for, gents?

Meat.

I'ma raise you a t-bone.

Bump you a porterhouse.

[man 1] I can do a New York.

[man 2] I'm fillet mignon.

Wow! The steaks are re... re... really high.

- Raise. - Aw!

[chuckles] Read 'em and weep.

[horn sound]

Hold it! Three queens.

[queens] We hereby declare: loser.

Ouch!

Barbeque in my cell tonight, fellas.

I like my meat raw.

I kind of figured as much.

We got rules against gambling, boy.

I'm sending you to solitary.

[electricity sizzles]

[laughing]

And so it begins. [beeping]

Within hours my computer virus will have infiltrated

every computer in Edge City.

[chuckles] Power companies...

airports...

banks.

The infrastructure will crumble

and chaos shall rule supreme. [laughs]

[grunting]

[panting]

This little piggy went to market. And... ah!

Well, boy, your half hour's up.

I hope you learned your lesson.

Peggy?!

I came as soon as I could.

So how long are you in for?

Well, let me see, babe. Today is Tuesday carry the four, times two, five, seven...

Wednesday, Thursday. About 20 more years.

[man over PA] Attention all prisoners. Remain in your cells.

I repeat, remain in your cells.

[all grunting]

Uh, it's happening all over Edge City.

Everything hooked into computers seems to be malfunctioning.

[man on PA] Attention. All visitors must leave the prison at once!

Oh, well I guess that's about it then.

I baked it just like you asked. Good luck.

Ahh! This hangnail is so annoying.

Whoa, mister!

We don't go for none of that personal hygiene business around here.

Now you got that?

Maybe you want a little more solitary confinement.

Oh, no please, Mr. Warden, don't make me go back there.

I'll be ever so good.

I'm keeping my eyes on you boy.

Psst. Man, you got to chill or you ain't gonna be around for the big bust out.

[Mask] Did you say, "bust out"?

I'm all ears.

Yeah, the jail break's tonight.

We wanna be on the outside when Pretorius works his big plan.

Screwing up all the computer systems.

The whole city's gonna be in chaos.

Ripe for easy pickin's.

Wow! How do you guys know so much?

Oh, is it that fabled prison grapevine I hear so much about?

Nah. Pretorius' aunt goes to the beauty parlor my sister-in-law works at.

[snickers] I ain't lyin', those girls love to gab.

I did not know that. Wait a minute!

Pretorius is screwing up all the computers?

[tapping keys] [beeping]

No!

Not my "Revenge of the Galactic Snake Dancers" game!

That madman has got to me stopped!

You got room for one more in that jail break tonight?

Hold it right there!

We got you covered, fella!

Escape is impossible.

[up-tempo music plays]

Stay with me now!

[cop 1] Say, he's pretty good.

[cop 2] I couldn't agree more.

He couples a technical proficiency

with a delightfully jaunty nonchalance.

[crowd cheering]

Very impressed with his performance.

Thank you! Hank you so very, very much!

But now, I must take my leave.

So long, suckers!

[snoring]

Let's move out, Doyle. The Mask just busted out of prison.

[typing on computer]

[Pretorius] And now, for the final phase.

Sending my new virus out over the Internet!

After incapacitating all of Edge City.

It will spread upward, destroying every computer system in the world!

I can see it all now:

Chaos, anarchy, rioting in the streets!

How very lovely.

[electricity sizzling]

Yes! It's working!

Nope, sorry! Gotta disagree with you there, junior.

No, it can't be!

You're in prison!

Don't just stand there. Get him!

Here I am!

Over here!

Missed me that time!

Nope, try again!

Shh. Don't tell anyone, but I'm in this one.

We... we can't get to him.

[computer noises]

Hey, nice computer.

[inflating sound]

But it could use a few more... bites!

[both screaming]

Ohh, I bet that mega-hurts, huh?!

Your computer puns are as mentally deficient as you are!

Well, that's too bad because I got one more.

You mind if I, boot up?

[grunts]

[grunts]

[cop] Hold it right there, creep!

I'm sending you back to prison.

And I'm sending you to kingdom come.

[chewing]

Boy, lieutenant, I guess this means the Mask

is probably innocent, huh?

You wanna bite?

[growls]

Oh, da... there.

Don't let it get you down, pooksie.

I got a nice, fat wedgie to cheer you up.

But first...!

Let me get that for you, sir.

[both screaming]

Here, try this one.

[grunts]

What do you say, audience?

Should we go for door number three?

[crowd cheering]

You heard 'em. Third time's the charm!

[bell dings]

[yelling]

[screams]

Let me out of here!

[choking]

You hear me? Get me out of here!

[choking continues]

You know, payback is so sweet.

And so the orphan little leaguers

finally have their new uniforms.

All thanks to the Mask.

Smokin'!