Original subtitles

♪ I GOTCHA WITH MY WINNIN' SMILE ♪

♪ I'M A LIVING LESSON IN FLAIR AND STYLE ♪

♪ YOU JUST CAN'T HELP BUT STARE AT MY SAVOIR-FAIRE ♪

♪ I'M NOUVEAU, DECO, ROMAN-GRECO, ROCOCO, BARROCO ♪

♪ BE-BOP, HIP-HOP, FLIP-FLOP, SOMEBODY STOP ME ♪

♪ PRETTY VIRIDIAN FACES LIKE MINE ♪

♪ DON'T COME A DIME A DOZEN ♪

♪ I STAND OUT OF THE CROWD ♪

♪ BABE, WHEN THEY MADE ME, YEAH, THEY BROKE THE MOLD ♪

♪ WHOLESOME AND KIND, STAID AND REFINED ♪

♪ TOTALLY OUT OF MY MIND ♪

♪ ARCH-VILLAINS AND NE'ER-DO-WELLS ♪

♪ HAD BETTER LEARN TO DECORATE PRISON CELLS ♪

♪ GREEN GOES WITH ANYTHING IF THEY ASK, SEE ♪

♪ WELL, THERE'S ONE LAST THING I GOTTA SING ABOUT ♪

♪ OPEN UP WIDE AND REALLY SHOUT ♪

♪ OH, LOOK OUT ♪

♪ THIS IS THE MASK ♪♪

SMOKIN'!

AS FLUFFCIONADOS KNOW, EDGE CITY'S

FESTIVAL OF FLUFF KICKS OFF TOMORROW NIGHT

WITH THE ANNUAL FLUFF BALL

HERE AT THE FABULOUS COCO BONGO CLUB.

THE BIG QUESTION?

WHO WILL BE THIS YEAR'S

FLUFF PARADE GRAND MARSHALL?

PONDER NO MORE, EDGE CITY!

YOUR GRAND MARSHALL HAS ARRIVED!

♪

I'M JUST THE DOCTOR FRANKENSTEIN,

TO BRING THIS YAWN-FEST TO LIFE!

NOW, TO CONVINCE THOSE UNIMAGINATIVE BOOBS

ON THE NOMINATING COMMITTEE,

STARTING WITH MR. BANK PRESIDENT!

♪

SHH!

♪

- WHO'S THERE? - PAINTER.

I, I DIDN'T CALL A PAINTER!

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO, I HEARD YOUR WALLS.

THEY WERE JUST SCREAMING FOR NEW WALLPAPER.

LIKE IT, IT'S FROM OUR NEW FOOD FOR THOUGHT COLLECTION,

SO, CHOW DOWN, BIG GUY!

♪

SANDMAN'S HERE.

I'll BE THE GRAND MARSHALL OF YOUR DREAMS!

AFTER ALL, WE CAN'T LET THE GIG

GO TO JUST ANY OLD YAHOO.

YAHOO?

YEAH, YOU KNOW.

YAHOO!

KABLAMUS!

THE EXPLODING MAN TRIUMPHS ONCE AGAIN!

MY NEW BALLOONS TURNED OUT EXACTLY

AS I'D HOPED!

WHIMSICAL, COLORFUL, A VERITABLE CORNUCOPIA OF FUN!

YOU SEE, MY PETS, DADDY DOESN'T REALLY

WANT TO BE A CRIMINAL.

HE SIMPLY NEEDS TO SHARE HIS GIFTS

WITH THE PUBLIC.

THAT'S ALL I EVER WANTED.

RECOGNITION OF MY GENIUS.

WHEN I UNVEIL YOU BEAUTIES

AT THE FLUFF BALL TOMORROW NIGHT,

THEY'LL HAVE TO MAKE ME GRAND MARSHALL.

AFTER ALL, A GIFT LIKE MINE

WILL NOT BE IGNORED.

♪

WHAT, YOU TOLD YOUR DATE IT WAS A COSTUME BALL TONIGHT?

THAT MUST BE WHY SHE'S DRESSED AS AN EMPTY CHAIR.

EMPTY CHAIR.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME TO BRING OUT

OUR FEATURED PERFORMER!

WOULD YOU PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE

WORLD-RENOWNED HYPNOTIST,

DOCTOR SAMMY NAMULUS JR!

♪

GOOD EVENING!

IT IS SUCH A PLEASURE TO BE HERE IN,

IN, UM, UH, IN EDGE CITY!

MAY I HAVE A VOLUNTEER

TO BE MY FIRST SUBJECT AS I UNLOCK

THE MYSTERIES OF THE MIND?

HERE YOU GO, DOC!

HIS MIND'S BEEN LOCKED AWAY FOR YEARS.

♪

FEEL FREE TO RELAX, AND TRUST ME.

RELAX.

NOW, MY FRIEND, EVERY TIME YOU

HEAR THIS SOUND YOU WILL PERFORM

THE VERY NEXT COMMAND YOU HEAR.

YES.

YOU ARE A MONKEY!

♪

AND NOW, MY FRIEND, YOU ARE A ROAST PIG!

♪

LET'S GIVE OUR FRIEND HERE

A ROUND OF APPLAUSE BEFORE I RELEASE HIM

FROM HIS TRANCE!

WHEN I GIVE THE COMMAND, YOU WILL FORGET

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED HERE TONIGHT.

HAVE NO FEAR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

TONIGHT, I DO NOT USE MY AWESOME

POWER TO HARM, BUT TO ENTERTAIN.

I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET SOME OF MY FRIENDS.

DON'T BE AFRAID.

ENJOY THE MERRIMENT THEY BRING.

♪

CHARLIE, WHAT'S UP?

WHAT DID I MISS?

OH, ONLY EVERYTHING!

WAIT, WAIT!

IT'S FUN AND EDUCATIONAL!

OH, WHY WON'T THEY GIVE ME A CHANCE?

OH, THEY'RE JEALOUS OF MY GENIUS!

WELL, THEY'LL SOON SEE THE ERROR

OF THEIR PETTY WAYS!

♪

NOW, HEAR THIS YOU MINDLESS FLUFFKETEERS!

THESE BALLOONS WILL FLY

IN THE FLUFF PARADE IN HONOR

OF OUR ILLUSTRIOUS NEW GRAND MARSHALL, ME!

AND JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE ALL LISTENING...

NO ONE LEAVES UNTIL THE MAYOR AGREES

TO MY DEMANDS.

OH MAN, WHAT A ROTTEN TIME

NOT TO HAVE THE MASK WITH ME.

HMM, BUT MAYBE I CAN FIX THAT.

YOU'LL SEE, I'M SOON

TO BE THE TOAST OF THE TOWN.

IN FACT, LET'S HAVE A TOAST TO ME!

HERE'S MUD IN YOUR EYE!

OW, OH, I CAN'T SEE!

DARN MUD!

♪

OW!

HUH, WHAT THE HECK IS THE MATTER WITH ME?

♪

OH, I HOPE THIS WORKS.

UH, HI.

IT IS STANLEY.

LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP.

MILO, I'M AT THE FLUFF BALL, AND I NEED THE MASK.

OKAY, OKAY, BUDDY, BRING THE MASK TO THE BALL.

BRING THE MASK TO THE BALL!

BRING THE MASK TO THE COCO BONGO!

♪

PHONING THE POLICE, ARE WE?

OH, I THINK IT'LL TAKE MORE

THAN 911 TO SAVE YOU NOW.

HATE TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE,

BUT I CAN'T ALLOW ANY OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE.

BUT FOR YOUR TROUBLE, HERE'S A LOVELY

PARTING GIFT.

WHOA!

♪

MILO, OH, YOU'RE A LIFESAVER.

♪

JUST LOOK WHAT YOUR DOG LEFT ON MY LAWN!

THERE ARE LEASH LAWS, YOU KNOW.

YOUR HONOR, I'M A BUSY MAN.

DO I GET THE GRAND MARSHALL JOB OR WHAT?

YOU, GRAND MARSHALL?

FACE IT, BLIMP-BOY, YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE

IN THE SWIMSUIT COMPETITION.

AND IF CHOSEN, I WILL USE MY POSITION

TO PROMOTE WORLD PEACE AND SEE THAT

EVERYONE GETS... AN ATOMIC WEDGIE!

SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY, AM I GRAND MARSHALL,

OR AM I A GRAND MARSHALL?

YOU?

YOU'RE AN INSULT TO ALL THINGS FLUFFY!

IN FACT, THE ONLY ONE WHO DESERVES THE JOB IS ME!

WHAT?

YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS HUMILIATION!

♪

YOU'LL PAY THROUGH THE NOSE!

♪

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT'S COME OVER YOU,

BUT YOU'RE COMPLETELY LOSING YOUR HEAD.

♪

HMM.

YOU KNOW, I'M FEELING A MITE PUNCHY.

♪

SO LONG, SUCKERS!

OH, YES, OH, HO, HO, HO, OH YEAH, OH, RIGHT THERE.

OH, OH, LISTEN, MILO, STOP WHEN YOU HIT

THE CHOCOLATE CENTER, WILL YA?

♪

HEH, WHO, WHAT, WHERE?

POPPING, AND KABLAMUS, AND POPPING,

AND POPPING!

HYPNOTIST!

THAT HYPNOTIST NEVER BROUGHT ME OUT OF IT!

OH MAN, I GOTTA FIND HIM AND GET MY HEAD STRAIGHT.

DOCTOR NAMULUS JR. IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE

FOR PRIVATE PERFORMANCES.

FROM NOW ON, HE'S ONLY PLAYING

THE BIG HOUSE.

CARNEGIE HALL?

SAN QUENTIN.

TAX EVASION.

OH, B-BUT I GOT TO SEE HIM!

IT'S AN EMERGENCY!

♪

HE'S UP FOR PAROLE IN TWO YEARS.

TWO YEARS?

OH, THAT MEDDLING MASK, DISTRACTING THE MAYOR

JUST AS HE WAS ABOUT TO MAKE ME

GRAND MARSHALL!

MY BALLOONS COULD HAVE FLUTTERED

SERENELY IN THE PARADE, BRINGING JOY

TO THOUSANDS, BUT NOW,

THEY'LL BE JUST THE THING FOR BLOWING

THE ENTIRE PARADE SKY HIGH!

OH MAN, THIS IS JUST GREAT, GREAT.

EVERYONE AND HIS BROTHER ARE AT THE FLUFF PARADE,

WHILE I'M STUCK LAYING LOW UNTIL THIS STUPID

HYPNOTISM THING BLOWS OVER.

OH, I GUESS IT COULDN'T HURT

TO WATCH THE PARADE ON TV.

WITH THE MUTE ON.

♪

OUR FIRST LOOK FEATURES EDGE CITY'S

LUCKIEST DEMOGRAPHIC, THE TRADITIONAL

NUCLEAR FAMILY!

YES SIRREE, BOB, A LOVING MOM, DAD, AND 2.5 KIDS, AND LOOK!

HERE COME OUR OFFICIAL

FLUFF FESTIVAL MASCOTS, PUNKY AND DORY!

AND HERE'S OUR ILLUSTRIOUS

GRAND MARSHALL, MAYOR TILTON.

WELL, MILO, EVERYTHING SEEMS

TO BE GOING JUST AS FINE AND FLUFFY

AS ALWAYS.

I'M SURE GLAD KABLAMUS DIDN'T DECIDE TO SHOW.

HUH?

♪

YOU SCOFFED AT MY CREATIONS!

NOW, LOOK UPON MY WORKS IN DESPAIR!

♪

THAT'S THE TROUBLE WITH THIS ECONOMY.

TOO MUCH RUNAWAY INFLATION.

♪

PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE!

DON'T LEAVE YET!

THIS BLOWOUT'S JUST GETTING STARTED!

♪

KABLAMUS!

HOW DARE YOU!

SOME GRAND MARSHALL.

CAN'T EVEN CONTROL HIS OWN PARADE,

AND NOW, YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE YOU

TO HAVE A BIRD'S EYE VIEW!

OH, MY GOSH, HYPNOSIS OR NO HYPNOSIS,

LOOKS LIKE I NEED THE MASK!

YEE HAW!

NOW, GET ALONG, LITTLE DIRIGIBLE!

YOU, YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS,

YOU FIEND!

PROMISES, PROMISES.

YOU KNOW, YOU POLITICIANS

ARE ALL FULL OF HOT AIR.

YOU NEED TO COME DOWN TO EARTH.

♪

WELL, WELL, WELL, IF IT ISN'T

THE KING OF POP!

YOU AGAIN!

YES, ME AGAIN!

AND I'M HERE TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU...

HEY, LITTLE CARS!

HEY, FATHEADS, WANNA DRAG?

OH, WAIT, JUST A SECOND.

♪

NOW, DON'T GO AWAY.

♪

I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL THE LITTLE PEOPLE.

WEREN'T THEY GREAT IN THE WIZARD OF OZ?

HEY, WE WERE FIGHTING OR SOMETHING,

WEREN'T WE?

WHY, YES, SHORT ATTENTION-SPAN BOY,

WE DO HAVE MUCH UNFINISHED BUSINESS.

TELL ME, HAVE YOU OVERCOME

YOUR MYSTERIOUS LITTLE AFFLICTION?

OR WOULD YOU BE AN ANGEL,

AND GET ME DOWN OFF THIS WALL?

JUST AS I EXPECTED!

AND NOW, ON WITH MY PLAN!

THE MAYOR'S BALLOON IS FALLING DREADFULLY

BEHIND THE OTHERS.

TAKE THOSE BOWLING BALLS AWAY!

♪

NOT AGAIN!

♪

WHAT AM I DOIN'?

SAY, AREN'T THESE YOURS?

♪

ROTTEN MUTT!

WELL, THIS TOWN'S STILL GOING

TO BLOW SKY HIGH,

AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S GOING TO DO IT,

MY LITTLE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER!

♪

OUR NAMES WILL BE FOREVER LINKED

AS THE TEAM THAT DESTROYED EDGE CITY!

THEY'LL RUE THE DAY THEY REJECTED

MY GENIUS

AND PASSED ME OVER FOR GRAND MARSHALL!

♪

UP, UP, AND AWAY, PESKY CRITTER!

♪

YOU'RE VERY ANGRY, LITTLE MAN, AREN'T YOU?

I THINK WE NEED TO EXPLORE THIS.

GET YOU IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER TUBE, HMM?

LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR HUMILIATION

AT THE FLUFF BALL, SHALL WE?

NOW, TELL ME, WHAT MADE YOU ACT

SO STUPIDLY?

I DID NOT ACT STUPID... SHH!

I CAN SEE NOW THAT YOU WILL NEVER

GET OVER THE FLUFF BALL DEFEAT.

EVERYONE AT THE FLUFF BALL

HATED YOU AND YOUR BALLOONS, YA?

DO ME A FAVOR.

FORGET EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED

AT THE FLUFF BALL!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, YOU DO ME A FAVOR.

CALL ME A CHICKEN.

I DARE YOU!

OKAY.

YOU ARE A CHICKEN.

NOW, TRY A GORILLA.

YOU'RE A GORILLA.

A KANGAROO.

AN INSURANCE SALESMAN!

I'M CURED!

AND YOU'RE TOAST.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE END OF ME!

OH, YES I HAVE.

I GOTTA TELL YA, IT IS NOT A PRETTY SIGHT.

ALMOST FORGOT.

♪

I'll BE BACK!

MARK MY WORDS!

YOU WILL ALL SING PRAISES TO MY GENIUS!

PRAISES TO MY GENIUS,

HMM, DON'T KNOW THAT ONE.

♪

BUT HOW ABOUT POP GOES THE WEASEL?

WAS THAT AN EXPLOSIVE FINALE OR WHAT?

♪

YOU'LL THANK ME LATER.

WHAT DO YA SAY NOW, PALLY?

DO I GET THE GIG?

♪

AND NOW, HERE'S OUR NEW

GRAND MARSHALL, THE MASK!

YES!

NOTHING'S GONNA RAIN ON MY PARADE!

MILO, BAD DOG!

♪