All language subtitles for The MASK - S01 E12 - How Much is That Dong in the Tin Can (480p - AMZN Web-DL)

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Original subtitles

[theme music]

Slam.

♪ I gotcha with my winning smile ♪

♪ I'm a living lesson in flair and style ♪

♪ You just can't help but stare at my savoir-faire ♪

♪ I'm nouveau deco Roman-Greco Rococo Barroco ♪

♪ Bebop hip-hop flip-flop ♪

♪ Somebody stop me ♪

♪ Pretty viridian faces like mine ♪

♪ Don't come a dime a dozen I stand out of the crowd ♪

♪ Babe when they made me yeah they broke the mold ♪

♪ Wholesome and kind staid and refined totally out of my mind ♪

♪ Arch-villains and ne'er-do-wells ♪

♪ Had better learn to decorate prison cells ♪

♪ Green goes with anything if they ask see ♪

♪ Well there's one last thing I gotta sing about ♪

♪ Open up wide and really shout ♪

♪ O-o-oh look out ♪

♪ This is The Mask ♪♪

S-s-smokin'!

[pleasant music]

[Stanley whistling]

Hey, hey. It's your day, Milo.

What's it gonna be? Frisbee in the park?

Maybe a visit to the butcher shop.

Oh, no-no, I know.

A quiet day at home drinking outta the toilet.

[grunting]

Ha-ha-ha, I love when you, you know, you drink...

[male #1] 'Can you cook a cheaper chili than Chucky?'

First prize to the best tasting chili

with the cheapest ingredients.

Noon at the park, and bring your own crock pots.

They don't call him Cheap Chucky for nothing!

What a job.

[Stanley] 'Ten grand!'

Why, that's-that's..

A lot of money is what that is.

Heck, how hard can making chili be?

'Oh come on.'

'Can't taste any worse than that swill Cheap Chucky calls chili.'

Right, Milo?

Ah! Milo!

[female #1] 'Show some backbone, you mangy, little cur.'

Did you think you were gonna roam these streets forever?

Ha ha ha.

Well, think again.

Aah!

Bang.

What?

Grrr So, it's a toofer, huh?

Aah!

Gotcha!

[whimpering]

[snarling]

Milo, what has gotten into you? You are a bad dog.

Don't bark at the city official.

[whimpering]

[Stanley] 'Okay, now. Let's see.'

How can I set myself apart from the pack here?

Yam chili.

Oh yeah, it's perfect for the holidays.

Oh, we are gonna be rich, Milo.

[whimpering]

Oh, come on, fella.

I've gotta get going. Wish me luck, pal.

Bam creak [dramatic music]

splatt [howling]

[man on TV] 'We now return to "Edge City's Most Wanted."'

'Where we're looking to nab'

'No-goodnik number 100, and you can help.'

'Have you seen this woman?'

'She's escaped convict, Willamina Bubask.'

'Wanted for dog-napping, grand theft auto'

'and assaulting an entire police precinct.'

Out of my way, you low-lifes.

Screech

[police siren blaring]

'What the hecks is that?'

[blaring continues]

Ha ha ha.

No way, officer or what ever you are.

Not today.

Vroom

[dramatic music]

Sniff sniff slurp Ooo-yum!

The mastodon of the Pleistocene era

'had few natural enemies.'

'The saber-toothed tiger among them.'

roar

chomp

crash.

Is everyone ready

for Cheap Chucky's first annual chili cook-off?

[all cheering]

Let's get started and may the cheapest chili win.

Hi.

My name is Kiss. Ipkiss.

Double-o-nothing.

Got a license to chili... instead.

Screech.

Must have lost him.

[dramatic music]

Oh, I see some very creative cooking going on.

Yams? Oh, I wouldn't have thought of..

Burble burble.

Yams and chili go.

Who is this? Hey, there, Walter.

Awfully nice hat. Uh, hey. Hi.

What brings you here, Walter? Good-eats or the 10 G's?

None of the above. Okay, uh..

Where is the mask, right?

Well, the funny thing is, Walter

I don't happen to have it with me, uh, today.

But boy, do I wish I did.

Fifty bucks a dog was the deal, not 40.

Well, raising the ten thou

for the contest prize has tapped my capital.

- Listen, Chintzy-chazz. - Uh, Cheap Chucky.

I know this contest is bogus. I know there ain't no ten large.

And if you don't want everyone to know...

Okay, okay.

Just meet me at the factory in half an hour

and you'll get your money.

Welching little wimp.

[police siren blaring]

Oh, for the love of..

Oh do I double wish I had the mask.

Screech whirr

[gasping]

Milo?

Slurp.

Yuck! What are you doing here with the mask?

Bad dog. Bad dog.

'Good-good dog!'

splatt.

Now you stay this time. You got that? Stay.

Splatt

huff thud thud

[whimpering]

[barking]

Thud.

This impromptu for show

makes stealing chili recipes a whole lot easier.

As we say in the land of the rising sun..

Aai-i-i-iee!

Thwack thud

[clamoring]

This ain't over yet, baby.

Walter on defense.

Big, tough, sleeps with the night-light, baby.

But is he ready for a facial?

Clang

thwack splash slurp.

Not bad. Needs something.

Fffff bang Sure. You knew this was coming.

Boom.

Hot enough for you, leather-face?

Yup, yup. The bigger they are..

Boom '...the louder they explode.'

We-e-ell, Milo.

I really busted Walt's wagon that time, don't you think?

Don't ya, Milo?

Here boy. Milo.

[whistling]

Where are you? Come on, boy. Come on, fella.

You in there, boy?

[whistling]

H-H-He's gone?

[crying]

Oh, gosh! I can't believe it.

I'll never forget him.

Why, of course. The little stinker must've left a scent.

Smellementary.

Sniff sniff

[dramatic music]

[barking]

Screech.

[The Mask] 'He-e-ere, Yeller!'

'Come on, Yeller.'

'Yeller, ol' boy!'

Can ya hear me?

Oh!

There you are. My little huggles.

Hold on. You were supposed to stay!

Punishment is an order.

Aw, pshawshank. Little harsh, huh?

Yeah, well. Better leave this to the master scolder himself.

Splatt.

Huh! Huh?

'What the, Milo?'

Dog catcher? Oh-oh. Yeah, I get it.

Milo to the rescue, huh?

That was reckless. You could've been mistaken for a stray.

What a coincidence.

The dog catcher's van here at the chili plant.

Now why would they bring dogs here?

[intense music]

Oh no, you don't..

Gulp Do you think..

Mother of mercy. Chili dogs!

They're making Ground Round hound in there!

[Milo howling]

[dramatic music]

[dogs barking]

Splash

ptooey.

[Willamina] 'Ha ha ha. Some taste testers.'

It's your money, Chuck. But I'd say you wasted it.

That's my old chili recipe.

Humans, dogs, rats. I couldn't get anybody to eat that stuff.

Hence my chili contest scam.

There's gotta be one useful recipe here.

And when these dogs let me know which one it is..

Discriminating dogs demand Charles Choice Chow.

I'll be rich! Rich! Rich!

Oh, this is so horrible. Terrible.

We gotta do something, Milo. We gotta do something.

This is a job for The Mask.

[barking]

Whirr.

No-no. Milo, Milo, Milo. I meant me in The Mask!

Whoosh

Milo! Mi-lo?

- And, uh, you would be going.. - Inside?

Bam

grrr.

Oh, cheese and crackers! What is that?

My destiny!

Grrr This is a day of reckoning.

Fate has brought this creature to me.

Now, I must bring him down.

And when I do, that'll be 60 bucks!

Sixty dollars?

At that price I'll do it myself.

Chomp

[screaming]

Hee-hee-hee.

Come on. Yeah, come on.

Come on.

Come on.

[snarling]

Whirr

[grunting]

What are you waiting for?

Whoosh Toro! Toro!

Ole! You stinkin' milksop!

Huh?

Grrr.

Ha ha ha.

What are you gonna do, little dragon?

Breathe fire?

Whoosh Aah-oh!

Why, you..

Bam Ha ha ha. I hope you can swim.

Whoosh Hey!

Uh! Aah!

Uh, aah, where did you go?

Grrr Yea-a-aow! Aa-aow!

Let go, you stinking beast. Let go!

Splatt

gulp You? You're my destiny?

[blowing a raspberry]

Well you're catch now.

And just to make it legit, let's loose this.

You know, I think I'll charge 75 for you.

Any violation of set procedures

will result in the cited sanctions.

Yeah. Say, uh, Josh Rooney.

What does the manual say about aerial assaults?

Aerial assaults. Aerial assaults.

Hmm. Gotta be here somewhere.

Shh.

[whispering] Milo.

[dramatic music]

[whispering] Milo.

Eesh! I feel sick just looking at those cans.

And to think I actually ate..

Ah!

Oh please. Don't let it be Milo. Please. Please. Please.

No!

Poor little buddy. It's all my fault.

If only I had listened to you.

If only I had paid more attention.

[crying]

[Willamina] 'Hey, worm!'

- Looking for somethin'? - Milo!

Whirr

[screaming]

[Stanley] No wonder your chili stinks!

That's beside the point.

Whatever possessed you to grind up poor, innocent

'little doggies for your noxious chili?'

Ha ha ha.

You're not only a little worm, you're an idiot too.

'Nobody's grinding up any dogs.'

Nobody's not?

Hah! That cheap chump Chucky's got 'em in the back

taste testing his new lot of dog food.

Oh. Well, that's not bad.

[growling]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, that's awful.

If his dog food's anything like his chili

it's cruel and unusual punishment!

Eh, you're right.

It's more humane to grind him up.

No!

Boom

[dramatic music]

Slurp slurp.

Walter.

You know Walter?

The brig. He was in men's cell, block B.

I was in women's cell, block G.

Walter, Willamina Bubask. Wanted in 15 states.

[Milo whimpering]

Well, Milo. At least we'll go together.

Milo, where did you put the mask?

Chomp My turn, Milo. Okay.

Now, let go of it, buddy.

Come on, pal. Let go.

Look, I know that..

You wanna save those other dogs..

Yeah, but right now..

I want to live!

I followed your exploits for years.

Nobody does brutal quite like you.

Ever considered a partnership?

We could pull off a sweet series of bank hauls.

And if romance develops, I'm open to it.

Splatt

vroom

I will smite you mercilessly, grim giant.

Smack.

And when I'm through doing that, it's the efficient super-speed

gut-pummelin' that'll pinch till you lick my boots clean.

There's a tractor pull at the Velodrome tonight.

We can enjoy the show and then knock over the box-office.

Ah! Amour. The ultimate weapon!

Whirr.

Madame requires a romantic atmosphere for her

huh-huh-huh, affair. Oui? No?

Whoosh

Walter, you can fit nicely into my plans.

See, each dot is a bank, and each bank is a push-over.

Eh, How does that saying go again?

You can bag two goons with one cruise missile.

[Willamina] And look, the last bank is at Niagara falls.

Honeymoon capital of the world.

In case our relationship becomes something..

Eh, uh, eh, uh.

[barking]

Chomp

[laughing]

Hey, you dog! Get away from my dogs!

Thud

[barking]

No!

[dramatic music]

Toing

thud thud thud

swish swish.

Beautiful. I'm watching a master at work. Aah!

Somebody stop him!

Rumble

Walter!

Worry not, girl.

You obviously don't know Walter like I know Walter.

Whirr

rumble rumble.

Duck and cover!

Boom.

You just sent a living legend

and potential significant other, flying out of my life!

I know. And I can appreciate your displeasure, ma'am.

You were perfect for each other.

Walter being a he-man and you being a he-woman.

Excuse me a sec, won't you?

[foghorn blaring]

Hoo! Yup, that's the one. And just to be sure..

Burble burble

slurp boom

burp

thud

clang.

Water. Wa-a-ater.

Thud.

S-s-smokin'!

Try Mask's new thermo-nuclear chili.

It's a regular Tex-Mex meltdown.

[man on TV] 'Another viewer tip has helped'

'Edge City's Most Wanted nab their one hundredth suspect.'

Wait for me, Walter. I won't be long!

Okay, okay. You guys were right, I was wrong.

It was your suspicion that got us the reward

for turning in Miss Bubask.

It's not the 10,000 I was shooting for but enough

for a generous donation to the Museum of Natural history.

Chomp chomp chomp

I mean, it was the least we could do.

[siren blaring]

Cluck cluck cluck

[theme music]

[music continues]

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