Original subtitles

[theme music]

♪ I gotcha with my winnin' smile ♪

♪ I'm a livin' lesson in flair and style ♪

♪ You just can't help but stare at my savoir-faire ♪

♪ I'm nouveau deco Roman Greco ♪

♪ Rococo baroque-o bebop and hip-hop ♪

♪ Uh flip-flop somebody stop me ♪

♪ Pretty viridian faces ♪

♪ Like mine ♪

♪ Don't come a dime a dozen ♪

♪ I stand out in a crowd ♪

♪ Babe when they made me yeah they broke the mold ♪

♪ Wholesome and kind staid and refined ♪

♪ Totally out of my mind ♪

♪ Arch villains and ne'er-do-wells ♪

♪ Had better learn to decorate prison cells ♪

♪ Green goes with anything if they ask see ♪

♪ Well there's one last thing I gotta sing about ♪

♪ Open up wide and really shout ♪

♪ Oh look out ♪

♪ This is the mask ♪♪

S-s-smokin'!

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chattering]

[screaming]

Nobody clears a room like you, Walter.

Say, this place calls for more appropriate attire.

Wardrobe!

So you think you know Kung Fu?

Hm! Okay, then.

Let's fight.

Hyah!

Ooh!

Your Kung Fu is good but you need discipline.

Ugh.

Your discipline improves, Walt-san.

[comical music]

[Pretorius] 'No matter how much punishment the Mask takes'

it never leaves a mark.

He always comes back for more, sir.

Maybe he likes it.

Hmm... perhaps.

Mental note.

His invulnerability could prove useful.

[gunshots]

I'm Mozart, the talking dog.

Woof! Woof!

[whimpers]

Woof! Woof!

Oh! Huh?

Fortune cookies?

Whoa! What happened last night, Milo?

I went on that date I've been planning for a year.

And then, ugh, and then Walter showed up, and the mask..

[gasps] The mask!

The mask. Oh, Milo.

The mask insulted my date.

He left her in a lurch with egg foo young on her face.

Oh, she's gonna kill me.

[phone rings]

- Hello! - Stanley!

I thought you'd never wake up.

Peggy. Oh, Milo, it's only Peggy.

I thought you were someone else.

[Peggy] 'Right! Like, who else calls you?'

'Anyway, listen.'

Meet me at the museum of history, right away.

[instrumental music]

[yawning] Tell me what's so urgent to wake me up

on a Saturday, Brenda Starr.

Lighten up, Stanley.

- It's a surprise! - What is it?

Masks? Excuse me, Peggy!

After my bumbled date last night

the last thing I wanna see are masks.

No, come on! It was meant to be.

The tickets just showed up on my doorstep this morning.

So, since you rarely have anything better to do

except spend a year planning a date

I figured you wouldn't mind coming along with me to..

Stanley, what's up?

Look.

It's my mask.

Whoa! See?

All that whining and now you're glad you came.

"This fabled 11th century mask was known as master of darkness.

'Eater of children's brains."'

Peggy, help me! I'm a brain-eating ghoul!

Oh, pooh. It's an 11th century superstition.

TV's the only thing that eats children's brains nowadays.

Now, wait a minute.

The mask was rude to my date.

What if that's the first sign of

the hunger?

The mask isn't a ghoul.

Look at the good he's done for my career..

I-I mean, the city.

Oh, come on, you know as well as I do

the mask would rather do water polo night

at the cocobongo than fight crime.

[gasps] Another mask.

"Legend refers to this as the sister mask."

Cool! The city could use a good female crime fighter.

Not sister as in girl, Peggy.

Okay, "One should never, ever wear the mask"

"without the sister mask.

"Lest ye unleash all manner of evil

and brain-eating madness!"

Man, those people got carried away

with the brain-eating stuff.

[Stanley] '"Worn alone the sister mask wields no power.'

'"When the two masks are joined'

'"the sister mask bestows the wearer'

'"control over the dark forces within.'

'"Only then is there hope to turn the mask's dark forces'

'to the cause of good."'

Well, no wonder the mask's so unpredictable, Pegg.

I've been wearing the bad boy mask.

With that sister mask, I could be in charge.

Peggy, I could teach the mask manners!

Uhm, nothing personal but the thought of you

controlling the mask sounds..

Well, boring.

Should I remove the mask?

'It's for a good cause.'

Peggy, say hello to a new era for the mask.

How about goodbye? I gotta go, Stanley.

All this excitement is too much for me.

[instrumental music]

Well, we like sister mask.

Don't we, Milo? Don't we, buddy?

Don't we like them? No, no! No, Milo!

[growling]

Sister mask is not a chew toy.

No, it's the key to making the mask

an all-around nicer guy..

Like me.

[whimpering]

[intense music]

[grunting]

Okay, righteously.

For the greater good of man

from this moment on

I will bring wholesomeness

to the heart of every citizen.

Even the lowland creatures

will eat from my hand.

Aah! Bug!

Splat!

My, that wasn't very angelic.

What a gyp!

This sister mask doesn't work at all.

I ought to take it back to the 11th century

for a refund.

And just what is this goofball thing on my head?

[gong dings]

Greetings, Mask.

Hey, Pretorius! What's shakin', bub?

We got matching tattoos.

But not for long.

[beeping]

Bang Well, that was completely unexpected.

Of course it was.

From this moment, Mask

I will dictate your every action.

For you are now..

My puppet.

Puppet. Puppet?

Who you calling puppet, pal?

Come on. Show yourself so's I can box your ears.

I'm a wreckin' machine.

Oh, I don't have to show myself

since I have you to do my bidding.

Anything I command is yours to obey.

Bam bam bam My sister mask has taken

possession of your own

allowing me to utilize

your unique talents at my whim.

I... am in the driver's seat now.

Oh, yeah? Well, there's one thing

you didn't bargain for, Pretorius.

Me taking the sister mask off.

[straining]

Fascinating apparatus, no?

I created the sister mask in my lab

fed the museum tickets to your reporter friend

and led your alter ego on the perfectly constructed

goose chase.

[barks]

Thanks for the exposition, bub.

Why not just jump me in a parking lot

and take my darn mask?

Oh, I'm no longer interested

in your mask for its own sake.

I have other goals.

[growling]

[Pretorius] Goalswhich require someone

of an invulnerable disposition.

Namely..

You.

We'll see who's pulling

whose strings, gepetto.

Clang clang clang.

[Agnes Peenman] 'Hey, Ipkiss! Pipe down over there!'

Oh la la.

I see further demonstration is needed

to prove you are my marionette.

Perhaps your neighbor could be of assistance.

Are you..

Fond of her?

Mrs. Peenman?

Oh, yeah, like I'm fond of Montezuma's revenge.

Then perhaps you would enjoy

planting a great big fat one

on her full red lips.

No!

No, you wouldn't!

[intense music]

No! Argh!

[Pretorius] 'You're making this harder'

'than it has to be.'

[grunting]

You haven't seen her!

[woman on TV] 'Straws. S-T-R-A-W-S.'

You!

For both our sakes but especially mine..

Run!

[comical music]

[both screaming]

Thud vroom [panting]

gulp gulp gulp

splat.

You're not gonna get away with this, Mr. Sick Puppy.

Enough histrionics.

[intense music]

[Pretorius] 'Head towards the outskirts of town.'

'The time has come to begin your first task.'

[panting]

[music continues]

'You need to get inside the base.'

'Some digging equipment will be in order.'

[whirring]

P-tooey!

You know, I really meant to turn left

to the groundhog family's hutch.

[Pretorius] 'Our goal lies'

'within that bunker.'

Cease and desist!

Oh, you mean this isn't the Fresno furry friends

arts and crafts fair?

Well, I'll just be goin' now, okay?

Okay. Bubye.

Hey!

[whistle blows]

[siren wailing]

I am leaving now.

Really, I am.

Mask, it's time you became a vehicle

of absolute destruction like, oh, say..

The deadly robot.

Robot schmobot.

Slurp.

How's this for absolute destruction, doc?

Huh? Huh?

[instrumental music]

[banging]

Sorry, Mr. Army Man.

Guard that bunker!

[indistinct shouting]

Guys, this is nothing personal, really.

Thwack

[male #1] 'Move back, kid with amazing powers.'

'Throw down your weapon!'

I think we should listen to the nice helicopters.

Don't you off voice inside my head

making me do bad things.

Ooh la la.

But what makes you think

we would give up so easily?

Bells and whistles, Pretorius.

So I can fly.

Big deal.

[male #1] 'Emergency landing!'

Ooh!

You got a baddisposition.

Boom pew pew pew

[tires screeching]

Milo!

[barking]

Right!

Like I can understand you.

[intense music]

Mayday! Mayday!

I'm s-s-smokin'!

Boom.

Adrian!

[gunshots]

Uh, I thought I loaded this

with flags with funny words on 'em.

Firearms bad.

Oh, I must use mask for good.

Bad firearms.

Must use mask for good.

[grunting]

[beeping]

Yes!

Give peace a chance!

Pow pow pow

boom.

Watch out, I might transform into

a four-speed blender or something.

Fine idea, Mask.

These shenanigans keep us

from more important matters.

Eavesdropper.

Swish

whoosh.

Retreat, men! He's gonna blow!

Boys, this is gonna hurt me

more than it's gonna hurt you.

Boom.

Ouch.

I knew your invulnerability

would prove useful.

'Now fetch it here, Mask.'

[tires screeching]

Stop the presses! What happened here?

Some guy in a mask broke in

kicked our butts

and stole somethin' top secret.

Which way did he go?

[groans]

Never mind.

[sniffing]

[intense music]

Honey, I'm home!

Hey, nice lab. Looks just like the last one.

It isthe last one.

Due to your prior meddling

I've been forced to relocate.

Now! The meteor fragment.

Please!

Oh, what meteor fragment?

Thank you.

You know, the surgeon general has determined

that being evil has been known

to cause bad karma in laboratory rats.

Oh, you misunderstand me.

I'm not evil.

I'm a scientist.

A chaos theorist.

'It's just that in my pursuit for scientific truth'

the innocents are bound to be harmed.

[growling]

Shh!

Such is the way of chaos.

This meteor fragment, for instance

is no ordinary chunk of space rock.

It has very special properties.

Behold!

[zaps]

The power of invisibility!

[gasps]

That's great, Pretorius.

But does he do parties?

Three other such fragments

have recently fallen to earth

all guarded at military bases around the world.

'Each fragment possesses a different characteristic.'

'Fragment two will transform a man'

'into an unstoppable being made of flame.'

'Fragment three will bestow a man'

'with elastic properties.'

'And the fourth..'

'A strength-enhanced man'

'of unbreakable rock.'

Just like in the comic book.

Now it's time for your next errand.

This time to Beirut

to secure the second fragment.

Sorry, I don't travel without

honey roasted peanuts.

Oh, yes, you will.

[intense music]

Boy, is this story gonna sell newspapers!

[growling]

Hm, before we can proceed

it seems there are distractions

that need tending.

[beeping]

[gasps]

Hey, Pretorius. I hate the press, too.

But this seems a little extreme.

[barking]

Come here, little bow-wow. This is gonna hurt us both.

But not in the same place.

[laughs]

Somebody stop me!

No! Okay, uh, maskey pal.

'How many times have I got you on page one?'

[grunting] We're buds, remember?

[Pretorius] 'The mask is fully cognizant'

though not in control of his actions.

That's the beauty of it.

[barking]

- Hey! - What!

Hey! I can move!

Watch me now!

[upbeat music]

No remote, no control.

Goodbye, sister mask.

[grunting]

[grunting] Don't just stand there!

[intense music]

Come on! You 'ol buddy. You want some?

Okay. Say hello to the real mask.

Wooh! Waah!

[grunting]

[chuckles] Oh. Wrong mask.

Ugh!

Stanley... oh!

Oh! Ooh!

Hey! Ooh!

[grunting] Why, you..

[male #2] 'Hey!'

[male #2 groaning] Ouch!

Funny, you don't feel invisible.

[grunting] Ah! Help!

Oh, Peggy!

Stanley, catch!

[screams]

[dramatic music]

[growling]

Hmm, I can see now

that I am more than just a scientist.

I actually am evil!

I could've told you that.

Run!

[music continues]

[growling]

[whimpers]

[music continues]

[panting]

Hey, it's those guys.

What happened to big head?

[snarling]

There will be no escape

this time, Mr. Ipkiss.

[screams]

Time to give myself..

A cookie.

Ah, you should never eat anything bigger than your head.

That means us.

Hey!

Milo!

Take this!

[growling]

[zapping]

'Fools!'

The sister mask is useless

without the remote control.

Thank you.

Now, there. Would you like to see some payback, Peggy?

I know I would.

Oh, puppet!

Become an object of absolute destruction

like, say, hmm..

A soccer ball!

No!

This is for making me kick my dog.

[comical music]

Hey, you like wearing the mask, huh?

'Oh, that's great.'

Try getting a date with it, creep.

[beeping]

And this..

This is for dashing my hopes

of actually being able to control the mask someday.

Uh! Let me guess.

'You're never, ever going to wear the mask again.'

- 'Huh, Stanley?' - 'Au contraire.'

I know someone who'd like to get a few licks in.

I'm back!

And I understand it's water polo night at the cocobongo!

But first, Pretorius and I have some..

'Catching up to do.'

[screams]

Squeal, Pretorius!

Squeal!

[laughs]

[theme music]