Original subtitles

Hi, Dad.

Sorry. Am I a bit late? - Hi.

So?

I made something different from the usual sandwiches.

Uh... gnocchi.

But you've always hated cooking.

I... tried to remember how Mom used to make them.

- They're excellent. - Yeah?

I swear, they're delicious.

If it's all right with you, I'd rather speak Italian.

As you wish. This is your space.

Um, okay.

I really don't know where to start.

Some people start by talking... about the violent side,

while others... begin with distant memories,

but the important thing here

is that you decide where to begin.

As I think you already know, I remember very little about the incident.

Sometimes I get flashes of certain episodes...

...memories that came back later, little by little... and...

...in the days after it happened,

I didn't know what had happened to my sister... nothing.

I went into the trial as if I were there by mistake.

"I killed my sister? What are you talking about?"

I had the feeling they were talking about someone else, not me.

And when did some memories come back?

I spent the first years in prison in a psychiatric hospital.

There, with a good psychologist,

I started to remember a few things...

...but my memories were confused.

I didn't know whether they were my memories or memories of something

I'd heard during the trial.

Then... the psychologist took me to my sister's grave and...

...and there, for the first time, I saw the image of the fire.

Of my sister burning.

Listen, I understand how you feel.

I don't want to influence you, but perhaps you could start with...

...a memory that often comes back to you.

A situation you experienced, even long ago,

but which, in light of the story

you've built over these years, has become more significant

in relation to what happened.

Um...

Do you mind if I stand up?

Yes, of course. As I told you, this is your space.

- You don't have to ask my permission. Mm.

My mother didn't want me...

...she told me that often, very clearly.

"I did everything I could to lose you, I ran up and down the stairs,"

"I lifted huge weights, but nothing worked. You wanted to be born."

When did she say that to you?

Um...

The first time I heard her say it, she was saying it to her friends...

...who were having coffee at our house.

She was afraid I would be born with a deformity,

because of her age.

When I was born, my mother was 45 years old and...

...and I always remember her as sad and in a bad mood.

I think she fell into depression after I was born, without knowing it.

That's why I used to say everything was fine.

But there were many things left unsaid...

...and that was true both at home and outside.

It's a strange little town... everyone knows everyone,

everyone knows everything about everyone else...

...and appearances matter a lot.

Everything has to look spotless, clean, reassuring...

...everything has to be perfect.

And was that true for you too?

In a way, yes.

You wanted... to do everything you could to make people like you?

Yes, unfortunately.

And today?

This need to make people like you... do you still feel it?

I don't know, it's hard to say.

And...

...here with me?

During this meeting?

I don't know...

...maybe.

Mrs. Zanetti, the essential condition

for these meetings to help you construct an intimate

and personal truth...

...is that you be completely sincere.

If you lie while knowing you are lying, all this work is useless,

for you, of course, but also for my research.

The results would be false, false and misleading,

and even worse...

...you would end up more confused than before.

No one has ever believed me, ever since I was a child.

I'm sorry if I was inappropriate, but...

...it was my duty to make that clear.

No... it's all right.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Good morning.

I must have been about eight years old

and... I'd seen a pair of shoes in a shop downtown...

...they were red, very beautiful.

When I read the price... I must have made a mistake,

I read 29 francs,

but then at the register, when I was with my mother,

we discovered the price was 129 francs.

So my mother, not to lose face, bought them anyway.

Then when we got home, she gave me...

...a real earful.

Do you remember the words your mother used?

She was very angry, she called me spoiled,

a liar... she refused to believe me

when I told her I'd simply misread the price.

She accused me of tricking her, of lying to her.

But the next day at school, everyone was looking at my shoes.

I was so proud...

...and I said they were a gift from my mother.

I said it with pride.

FATHER Here.

How did you know I was interested in this book?

Ottavio, the bookseller, recommended it to me.

Did you tell him it was for me? - No...

...well, he figured it out.

I don't say anything and he doesn't ask.

Listen, Dad, I...

...I've decided to start a series of meetings with a criminologist

who's giving three lectures here at the university.

"Meetings"?

What for?

It's not for an evaluation like during the trial, it's...

...for a study

this criminologist has been conducting for years.

I think he wants to turn it into a book.

And he has to study you, does he?

No, he's met with other inmates too.

Don't worry.

What could happen?

Maybe this way I'll understand things a bit better too.

I remember that meeting these people made you suffer,

criminologists, psychologists, you felt awful,

so much so that, in the end, you'd shut down and stop talking.

That was a long time ago.

I'm better now.

She's much better.

- Come on, it's late. - Relax.

- Hey, Dad. - Oh, are you still like that?

I'll get dressed here, don't worry.

You all keep telling me, "Don't worry," which clearly means I am worried.

Everything will be fine.

Yes. Go see how far along your sister is, come on.

Yes, maybe a little farther this way.

- Here you go. - Done? - Yes, thanks.

- You're always late. - Hi, Franck.

Help me with my bow tie.

Are you excited?

- Not really. I don't believe you.

You're nervous and your neck is all sweaty.

Katia, are you still like that?

The dress is here. - Let me see.

It's the one from graduation, you liked it so much.

I liked it ten years ago.

Elisa?

I don't know, she's locked herself in, I tried knocking and she snapped at me.

You go and see, tell her to hurry up.

I'm going.

Elisa, may I?

Yes.

Are you still like that? Aren't you getting ready?

Yes, I'll get ready now.

Can I get dressed in here?

Yes.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

You look upset...

I said there's nothing wrong.

You're upset because Franck didn't ask you to be his witness,

aren't you?

You be his witness, Elisa.

- I don't care. Come on, let's go. - Stay out of it...

...understand?

As you wish.

Thinking back about my family left me feeling confused.

And... and maybe a little angry too.

Angry in what sense?

I agreed to work in my father's company,

but... it was not at all what I wanted to do with my life.

Are you referring to your father's carpentry business?

The one you inherited with your brother?

Yes, exactly. That's where it all began.

It wasn't my idea...

...it was my brother's project.

For him... it was his world, not for me.

I tried to make it mine only because I wanted to please him.

"Please him."

All my life I've tried to conform to...

...what I imagined other people wanted from me.

If I know... what people expect from me

and I manage to fulfill it,

then I feel that others acknowledge me,

that I exist in their eyes.

It's only in that way that I no longer feel invisible.

Invisibility and anger, that's where you began today.

And... perhaps these feelings had already appeared

when you spoke about your mother.

Do you remember other moments when...

Yes, with my father.

He had placed great trust in me.

He was convinced that his wishes matched mine,

that... my destiny was in the family business...

...I don't know.

In truth, he never forced me to do anything...

The day he enrolled me in the accounting course,

I could have... stood up and left...

...but I didn't.

You could say I... freely forced myself.

"Freely forced myself," that's a fine expression.

A nice oxymoron.

Yes, I freely forced myself to do what he wanted.

Join the company as soon as I finished my studies and...

...and in the end that place became the cause of everything

that happened.

In what sense? Can you... explain that to me?

After I started working,

I found myself caught between a rock and a hard place,

my father on one side and my brother on the other,

arguing over how to run the company.

Until my father, exhausted, handed the business over to us.

At that point, my father insisted that I should be the one...

...to hold 51% of the shares...

...and that I be the sole administrator.

I accepted...

...I must have been 20, more or less...

...but I wanted to live up to it,

for my father to see that I could do it, that I was capable.

Then my brother started with his delusions of grandeur,

he ordered tons of timber...

...he dreamed of building a new warehouse on the family

land.

Clearly, I couldn't say no to him either.

What was your relationship with your brother like?

Franck and I were very close.

Allies, you could say.

When I was little, he was the only one who played with me.

He was always picking me up... kissing me...

...we laughed together.

What is your relationship now?

There isn't one.

When my father decided to...

...come here to visit me as often as possible, my brother...

...asked him to choose between him and me.

"If you choose her, forget you ever had a son."

My father kept coming to visit me

and my brother... never... spoke to him again.

And my father never saw his grandchildren again.

You've spoken about your mother, your father, and your brother...

...but never about your sister.

Because, to me, my sister no longer existed.

Not for a long time.

When I was little, I was closer to my brother than to her.

Then when I was 15,

she left to live her own life, on her own.

We had grown up with a certain idea of family, of being united,

and she rejected all of that.

And I resented her for it.

So I built a wall between us, me on my side and her on the other.

She got close to us again

when the company was about to go bankrupt... to help us.

And...

...with your father, may I ask what you talk about

when he comes to visit you?

We never talk about...

...about what happened, if-if that's what you mean.

Our relationship began after... after the incident.

Sometimes I think we should, but... he never talks about it,

so... I don't say anything. - Of course, I understand.

Um...

Forgive me for interrupting your story, but...

...I think that... out of respect, both from me and from you, toward your sister...

...we should start saying "murder."

Let's stop saying "the incident."

You committed a horrible, irreparable act...

...and we must not forget that. Do you agree?

Good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Can I have a coffee? Black, strong?

Can I have that muffin too, please?

I ran into your father at the station,

but I don't think he recognized me

because I was in plain clothes.

My father has always been a bit absent-minded.

You could have gone up to him.

My father always enjoys talking to Italians.

I didn't feel like it because...

...some articles have come out about you and... I didn't know

whether he had read them or not.

They say that now you can work outside, though...

...the legal time limit has passed, you can apply.

They can rest easy...

...I have no intention of asking for day release.

Katia, we have to go.

You should go back to the doctor,

so he can give you something to stop you throwing up... every time you eat.

So he can tell me for the millionth time that it's stress?

As soon as I calm down, it'll pass.

Come on, get ready.

An appointment to show the house in the evening?

How can she? What can she see at night?

She works during the day, she can only see it in the evening.

Why aren't you going with them?

No, there's no need.

Dad, stay here. It's better if you stay with Mom, okay?

As you wish.

Besides, she seemed like such a nice person on the phone,

this lawyer... attorney?

- Damasio. Damasio, right.

Come on, let's hope that tonight this woman finally decides

to buy the house...

...so we can finally put this whole story behind us.

There she is. That must be her.

Come on, let's go inside.

We'll turn on the lights and she'll see us when she arrives.

Elisa?

How did the meeting with the lawyer go last night?

Hey, are you listening?

- Dad, I'm sleeping. - I called you a thousand times.

Sorry, I didn't hear the calls.

Where's Katia?

Mm, I don't know where she is.

She must have...

...she must have gone back home to sleep.

I don't know, the lawyer was late,

she said she would stay there and wait for her.

She said she'd call you, didn't she?

And then she left? Why? Did you argue?

You know what Katia's like...

She sent me a message...

...she said she went back home to sleep

and that the lawyer never showed up.

Then let's call this woman, maybe something came up,

I don't know, we can set another appointment.

I don't have her number...

...I always called her from Katia's phone.

Then call your sister.

All right, I'll call her.

It's disconnected.

She must be sleeping.

Lucky her, being able to sleep in.

When she wakes up, she'll call you.

Bye, Dad.

- How are you? - Fine, you?

Fine.

Eli, what is it?

What's wrong?

I heard the newspapers have started talking about me again.

Don't think about it, let them talk.

You're worried about me, I don't even pay attention to it.

Anyway, there is good news, right? You could ask to go out.

When the time comes, we'll see.

Look what I brought you.

I hope it makes you happy.

Have you seen Franck again?

Not a chance... you know your brother.

Clara gave them to me last week, when we met...

...grandparents understand each other. - They've grown so much.

You know, with the criminologist...

...we're talking a lot about the past.

About Mom...

...about the family, about Franck...

...about me and you.

It wasn't always easy between us, was it?

Bonjour.

At 20, you became the sole administrator of the family company?

Yes, that's right...

...and when everything started going wrong,

no one asked me how I felt.

Everyone blamed me.

"How is this possible, how could you, what have you done?"

Even to my brother, I was the one responsible.

And the word "fail," "having failed"...

...what feelings does that bring up in you?

I couldn't bear being seen as a failure in the eyes

of my brother and my father.

I felt the company's failure inside me...

...it burned deep within my body.

And my brother kept repeating that it was me

who had driven the company into ruin, do you understand?

That it was me.

Do you know what hurts me the most?

It's that...

...if I had said to my father:

"Dad, I need help... I can't manage"...

...maybe the company, in the end, would have gone bankrupt anyway...

...but everything else would have gone differently.

But I was obsessed with the idea of being seen as the cause

of all our troubles.

And that's when I had the idea of placing the blame

on my sister...

...that's when I thought of the letter.

What letter?

A letter I wrote on the computer

with a completely made-up story,

pretending to be her

and saying that she was the one who had manipulated me.

So you wrote a false letter, pretending to be Katia?

Yes. - Is that right?

- And then you sent it to your father? Yes, I mailed it myself.

And so in this letter... Katia said she had manipulated you?

Yes, I wrote that she had manipulated me,

that she had... that she had made me open an account in her name...

...and that because of that, the company had gone bankrupt.

That's how I trapped myself...

After mailing the letter, I said to myself:

"Shit. What do I do now? Something doesn't add up."

"What do I do about Katia?"

"How do I convince her to support the version in the letter"

"that I wrote and signed in her place?"

And when you wrote this letter...

...was your sister still alive?

Yes, I wrote it...

...when she was sedated and locked in the house that was for sale.

I swear I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

Um... Forgive me, but...

...why did you choose your sister? Were you in conflict with her?

No... no, not at all.

No, she was living her own life, she had...

...she had distanced herself from the family...

...she had nothing to do with us.

During our last meeting, you stated

that... you resented her precisely because of that.

Listen...

...I don't know how you'll take the proposal I'm about to make, but...

...as I told you, generally speaking,

I always plan a cycle of three meetings per inmate.

But you've only just started to remember and...

...I've thought about it a lot and I believe it would be... useful to go deeper...

...and continue our meetings.

What do you think?

Here we are.

That explains why she isn't answering her phone. She's gone on the run.

No. Katia wouldn't do that... Mom. Don't you understand?

She wrote it plain as day,

Katia ran off with the money she took from the accounts

- of our company. - Elisa...

...is what it says here true? One day Katia came to the office,

and seeing how worried I was about the company's situation,

she offered to help me.

I felt the weight of the responsibility...

...she told me not to worry, that...

...that she would stand by me, but...

- ...it's clear she manipulated me. - In what way?

She convinced me to open a joint account,

connected to the company,

from which she made payments that only she could make.

Why didn't-didn't you tell me?

Because I trusted her... she's my sister.

After all, you've always trusted her too, haven't you?

Just as we trusted you by handing you the company.

And look at the results.

We have to go to the police right away...

Enough.

First you blamed Elisa, now Katia...

...think about what you did with your delusions of grandeur instead.

I'm not bringing the police into something

that concerns our family, is that clear?

There must be an explanation.

Let's wait for Katia to come back.

She'll decide how things went.

Hey.

How do you feel?

Where are we?

You're at home, stay calm.

Here. Drink this.

Drink it all, come on.

I see myself again behind the wheel of my car,

driving back and forth like a madwoman,

between my parents' new apartment

and the old house...

...where I was keeping my sister locked up and sedated with Lorazepam.

I had to keep everything under control,

...I had to come up with an excuse every day to disappear...

...while my parents were looking for my sister...

...and then pretend to look for her with them too.

Zanetti?

Everything okay?

Zanetti, what's going on?

Yes, sorry. I'll be right there.

You had me worried.

Lucky I was the one on duty.

Besides, Karbusi was... a tomb,

she didn't bat an eyelid, she worked for two.

Karbusi cares a lot about me... we help each other, basically.

Zanetti, I-I can't reconcile the image I have of you

with... with what I read in the papers.

I can't believe you could have...

Yes.

I was capable of it.

Mrs. Zanetti?

Hello?

Is anyone there?

Is anybody here?

Ma'am, it's me... It's Elisa.

Ah, Elisa.

Um, I was worried, I saw the smoke

and I was about to call the fire brigade.

With all the weeds that had grown...

since you put the house up for sale and moved away...

That's why I came, to pull up the weeds and burn them.

Good for you.

E-everything's fine, I'll finish up and go.

I got scared.

No, everything's fine, thanks for your concern.

Well, that's what neighbors do...

God, ex-neighbors...

...anyway, I'm sorry you're selling the house.

"Since we began the meetings,"

"I've been trying to piece together my memories,"

"after my conviction,"

"thinking back over all the events described by the judge,"

"the only explanation I could give myself"

"was that I had killed my sister in a fit of rage."

"Whereas now, my memory has changed..."

"...it's as if I'm reliving those moments."

"I feel emotions I had repressed."

"I was only afraid, it wasn't anger,"

"it was a fear that took my breath away."

"Fear of being found out,"

"fear of what my mother would think,"

"my father, Frank, if Katia had told them the truth..."

"...that she hadn't been the one who wrote the letter, I had."

"With everything that would have followed."

This is the first time you've spoken about fear.

Because it's the first time I've seen things this way.

And it's harder to admit that it was fear...

...rather than a fit of rage.

It took courage to reopen the drawers of your memory with me.

No courage, Professor...

...no courage at all.

Maybe I only did it... only out of necessity.

I've never had courage in my life...

...only fear...

...especially of myself.

- Are you afraid of yourself? Yes, of myself.

Because I had the strength to take someone's life

because I wanted one of my own.

And the most terrible thing was that when I came home,

after killing and burning my sister...

...I put my head on the pillow and I felt at peace.

A peace I had never felt before...

...and that... that I have never felt again in my life.

You are starting to change.

However, if we accept...

...that the trigger that set you off was...

...fear, this...

...this suggests a kind of plan.

A "plan"?

Yes, as if in your mind you thought

that by killing and burning your sister,

all the trouble, all the problems you had created would disappear

or... would dissolve.

And from a certain point on, you act on fear...

...on the endless wave of your feeling

of being... exposed...

...that others would discover, according to your perception, of course,

that you are a failure. That word is the key to everything.

The failure of the carpentry business becomes your personal failure.

You said so yourself in an earlier meeting.

Excuse me, but I'd like to stop here for today, if you'll allow me.

We've reached... a crucial moment, a turning point.

I want to leave.

As you wish.

I've thought a lot about you these past few days.

I've read your books...

...you write about other criminals like me.

And I asked myself:

"What drives him to meet people like me?"

Your question challenges me... deeply.

But... right now I think it is more important to talk about what

is emerging from your words.

You keep talking about me and not about yourself.

I asked you what drives you.

Mrs. Zanetti, you are about to take back your story.

I am convinced that anyone who commits an irreparable act like yours

must not remain nailed to the crime they were convicted of.

You still haven't answered me.

Goodbye, Professor.

They question you, they follow me everywhere.

There must be a reason... the police aren't stupid,

- and neither are we. - Will you stop it?

No, I won't stop it, I won't stop it, I won't stop it!

Drop me at the bank... the appointment with the manager.

Close it.

And then... you were the one... the last one to not see Katia, right?

When you went for that lawyer

to show her the house.

From that moment on, we never saw Katia again,

so tell me what happened. - I've told you a thousand times...

Your father must have called you dozens of times that evening,

why didn't you answer? - Because I didn't hear it.

Why didn't you answer?

I didn't hear the calls, I told you!

You don't understand what this means! - Lower your voice.

- I will not lower my voice! Shut up. - You shut up!

So, you have to tell the truth.

You don't want to tell them? Fine. Tell us!

Tell your father! Huh? He always defends you.

But I know you, you know, I know you!

I can't take it anymore, look, I can't take it anymore.

Zanetti... everything okay?

Zanetti?

Everything all right? - Yes, everything's fine.

- Hi. - Hi, Dad.

- You're early. So are you.

Listen, I don't have... time today.

What's happened?

There's a girl at the bar who... got sick, she didn't show up.

Sorry, I'm really sorry, if I'd known earlier I would've told you.

It's all right. If you have to go, go.

Yes. - We'll see each other next time.

Okay.

I brought you some muffins... the girls make them,

the ones from the bakery, they're delicious.

Thank you.

Maybe you can eat them during the trip...

I'm sorry. Don't worry.

- No, I'm sorry. These things happen.

Yes, but...

The important thing is that you're well. - Yes... come on.

- Bye. Bye, Dad.

Bye.

Zanetti?

What are you doing here?

Is your visit over?

Yes, I'd like to go back in.

- How come? - I-I don't feel very well.

I'll have you taken to the infirmary.

No, there's no need, I'd rather go back in.

- All right, I'll call the female officer. No, really, there's no need.

Go on, she'll be here now.

Mr. Zanetti, good morning.

Good morning.

Your daughter won't be coming today.

Again?

She told me to tell you she'd like to be alone for a while.

- But is she all right? Yes, yes, everything's fine.

Listen...

...can you give this to Elisa? Some books and a notebook.

Of course. She'll be pleased. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Mrs. Elisa Zanetti came to the gendarmerie

to report her sister, Katia Zanetti,

who had disappeared a month earlier, for theft.

This delay in reporting it made us suspicious,

so we searched the Zanetti family homes.

Both the one where they lived and the one they had put up for sale.

At the back of the house that was for sale,

we found the charred body of Katia Zanetti.

And when you found the body, did you suspect

Elisa Zanetti?

Yes, thanks to the hidden microphones placed in the Zanetti home,

we heard an argument between the mother and her daughter.

Hearing the sounds of a struggle,

we intervened immediately.

Once inside, we saw Elisa Zanetti

trying to set fire to her unconscious mother's body.

Just as she had done with her sister's body.

Her mother got away with a minor burn,

we arrested the defendant

and from that moment on, she completely stopped answering

our questions.

Anais!

Anais!

Anais!

Anais!

- Good evening. - Good evening.

Please sit down... thank you for coming.

- Would you like anything? No, thank you.

- Are you sure? Mm-hm.

You wanted to see me?

Yes.

I wanted to explain why I attended your lectures.

I read one of your books...

...about young offenders.

I wanted to understand, I hoped I would understand.

What I would like to know,

what I looked for in your books...

...I don't believe you can... give me in any way...

...but I wanted to be sure.

Last winter, my son... was on his way home,

after saying goodbye to his friends at a party.

He came across a group of thugs

who were harassing an elderly woman sleeping on the street.

He went over... to tell them, well, to leave her alone.

He must have spoken to them politely...

...smiling...

...and that smile, they...

...couldn't stand it.

They unleashed all their violence on him.

They stabbed him several times...

...and left him there... to die.

It was the elderly woman herself who called for help,

and in the end they were all arrested.

They were a gang of kids,

like the ones my son worked with as a volunteer.

I even went to their neighborhood...

...I don't know why.

Who knows...

...what I was looking for...

...maybe to know a little more about the people who had taken from me...

...the person...

...dearest to my heart.

It did me no good to look at evil...

...as you say... no good at all.

- Did you try to talk to them? - No.

During the trial, some of them wrote to me.

I never read those letters...

...but I didn't destroy them either...

...I was afraid that in the letters they might ask me for forgiveness.

The pain and resentment I feel toward them...

...I need them.

They sustain me, they support me.

Do you understand?

I wanted to understand. I hoped I would understand.

All I felt was guilty about my resentment.

You... made me feel guilty.

You have every right to feel hatred and resentment...

...it is legitimate, I understand, but...

...allowing yourself the possibility to understand

how... a guilty person came to commit evil...

...can be a way for victims not to remain trapped in the hatred

they feel. Without, by doing so, discrediting their pain.

Only the words of the guilty...

...only the words of the guilty.

Because my son, the victim, no longer speaks.

I understand, madam, your son was...

No, that's enough, excuse me.

You are courageous.

We shall now read the sentence.

The defendant is charged with the crimes of kidnapping

and murder of her sister Katia Zanetti,

as well as attempted murder of her mother,

by trying to strangle her and set her on fire.

To clarify Mrs. Zanetti's criminal plan,

I add that she pretended to be Attorney Damasio

to distract the family from the sale of the house.

This court therefore, taking into account the mitigating circumstances,

as presented in the Defense expert report,

of proven partial incapacity to understand and intend,

certified by a malformation of the right frontal lobe of the skull,

compatible with amnesia...

...sentences Elisa Zanetti to 20 years' imprisonment.

The session is adjourned

and the records will be filed for the parties' access.

Good morning.

Thank you.

Thank you for agreeing to see me again...

...and I'm sorry I behaved so badly.

No, it's nothing... don't worry.

Let's go.

Please, have a seat.

What I had inside was impossible to say.

Sometimes there are no words left.

Only facts remain.

"My idea wasn't to hurt her, only to buy time."

"My sister had to disappear temporarily."

"The hours passed, the days..."

And now... and now?"

"Then I thought I had to convince her..."

"...reveal my plan, what I had thought up."

"And for once, for just once in my life,"

"I tried to create an alliance, to ask for help."

"The problem is that, when I reduced the dose of Lorazepam..."

"...to talk to her, she began to understand."

"She was furious..."

"...she railed against me."

"Then she calmed down..."

"...and, as affectionate as only she could be, she said to me:"

"Elisa, you're not well, you need help..."

"...let's go to Dad together and tell him the truth."

"If she hadn't said that sentence,"

"maybe she would still be alive... maybe."

"I can't know."

"The fact is that the truth she wanted to tell Dad was..."

"...that I was unwell..."

"...and that was not possible."

"In that moment, I broke."

"Katia had made the mistake of looking at me..."

"...and she saw me for what I am."

"In that moment, I completely lost control..."

"...and everything happened automatically."

"I didn't realize what I was doing, that's the truth."

"I just wanted her to be quiet."

"Nothing else mattered to me."

"I wanted her to stop talking."

"I put my hands around her neck."

Do you want me to read it?

I'll read it aloud because I think...

...it's important that you hear what you wrote.

Do you agree?

"I put my hands around her neck,"

"she managed to break free"

"and ran out to the back of the house."

"I caught up with her, put my hands around her neck again"

"and squeezed harder."

"So hard that when I let her go, she had lost consciousness."

"When she fell to the ground... she hit her head..."

"...and I panicked..."

"...I tried to help her, but... she wouldn't respond."

"I understood right away that I had killed her."

"Maybe in that moment, a part of me said:"

"All right, let's try to salvage what can still be salvaged."

"By now Katia is gone, the letter is in my father's hands,"

"maybe I can still turn the situation to my advantage."

"There was a can of gasoline for the lawnmower,"

"I poured it over her,"

"then... I lit a cigarette and threw it onto her."

"She caught fire, and I can't say whether it lasted thirty seconds,"

"a minute, a minute and a half... I don't know."

"All I know is that during one brief instant,"

"as if I had woken up, I said to myself:"

"What are you doing?"

"So I took the water hose to put out the fire,"

"but it was too late."

"I covered her with a tarp,"

"one of the ones we used to cover the wood,"

"and I left."

"I went back to my parents' house and there,"

"there was a silence inside me that I have never felt again,"

"as if nothing had happened, not even the bankruptcy."

"Suddenly... everything was intact."

You watched her burn.

Yes.

Was she screaming?

No.

She must have been unconscious... right?

I pray every day that she wasn't...

...that she wasn't still alive.

That she didn't feel anything.

Your testimony is precious...

...but I think we should build a new story.

Starting from the fact that now you... remember

...and...

...perhaps it is possible that... you always remembered.

There is no amnesia.

I wanted to kill her...

...I wanted to do it.

When you say I'm changing...

...I would really like to be able to believe you.

Because I don't like what I was...

...deep down...

...I don't even like who I am today.

Listen.

Even if there are some inconsistencies, you have begun to tell your story.

The more we try together to understand what happened,

the more you will be able to look ahead...

...without running away from your responsibilities...

...without being constantly overwhelmed by the guilt...

...which it is right that you feel.

And so, in the end...

...you will be able to honor your sister's memory.

Subtitles by BlueAM