Original subtitles

(SUPERHUMAN by Clean playing)

Most likely to write a best seller.

Colin Seymour.

? Can't stop with this kryptonite ?

? Dirty girls won't listen to that ticking clock ?

? Oh no ?

? They think they know you but I know better ?

So many guys in one small space I've had crushes on.

So many stories!

Thanks, everyone.

It's- It's my passion.

(people clapping)

You're probably wondering where Adam is.

Don't worry, he'll be back soon.

But for now, get acquainted with me!

I'm cousin Colin.

You might remember me in classics such as Adam's Box Party

or Adam's wedding.

But don't worry, gets better. (chuckles)

(song continues playing)

Just a sec.

We're still gonna see each other next year, right?

Do we really need to talk about this right now?

Just 'cause I'm moving up to the city for uni

doesn't mean that you can't come up and visit me.

Suck me off?

Sure. (chuckles)

Cameron King, the school heartthrob and my first crush.

Always breaking hearts.

Most likely to have an affair.

(person cheering)

Voted by you,

Cameron King!

(everyone clapping)

What can I say?

You all know me so well.

(everyone clapping)

Most likely to become a viral sensation.

Holly Simpsons.

Holly, the gossip queen.

She loves the spotlight.

Thank you. Thank you, everyone.

I would say I am shocked, but...

(everyone laughing)

She doesn't really care that nobody really likes her

as long as she's getting attention.

We used to be good friends until this happened.

Maybe I'm confusing you.

Let's go back a little further.

(song continues playing)

You don't have to stick around. I can finish this stuff.

It's okay.

I want to help.

You're gonna be okay for tonight?

I don't know what to do with myself.

Like...

I have all this guilt.

Like when I'm watching TV,

or eating chocolate,

or listening to music like...

It's like I'm not mourning enough.

Like I'm not sad enough.

Don't beat yourself up.

I can't change the fact that...

I'm, I'm never gonna be able to share with him

how successful I want to be.

Don't think like that.

You already are so successful and talented.

You're amazing, Colin.

I don't know why I did that. I'm sorry.

Basically, I kissed her then boyfriend, Ty.

In a moment of weakness and intimacy.

And she was so pissed off about it.

She blabbed all over her YouTube channel.

Hi guys! Welcome back to my channel. It's Holly here.

Ty, I'm breaking up with you. This obviously isn't working.

I mean, Colin kissed you.

It was really upsetting to see my best friend

and my boyfriend kiss.

So, I just don't think this is really gonna work anymore.

But I mean, I guess thanks for everything.

Really exciting news now though, is that I'm single!

So, if anyone's interested, my DMs are always open.

You guys know that.

The thirst traps are gonna be thirst trapping.

It's all happening. It's really exciting stuff.

Somehow, we stayed friends!

Most likely to have a threesome!

Ty Dibbs.

(rock song playing)

He was embarrassed at first,

but then quickly got over it.

(rock song continue playing)

Fuck off!

(rock song continue playing)

You okay?

Yeah.

Okay.

If you need to talk, I'm here for you.

And I'll call you tomorrow.

I'll check on you. Okay?

Yeah.

- Okay. - Yeah.

See you.

(upbeat music)

Oh Tom, my wedding plus one.

So cute. But we're just friends.

? If I could go back in time ?

Only he could win the award

for most likely to fall in love with me.

? I'd keep them apart all night ?

We've had this "Will they, won't they thing"

for a while now. You know?

? The world's a better place without you in it ?

? Sad you're given life and this is how you live it ?

Whole thing with Ty didn't really help, but...

There was this one time.

In the bathroom.

Well, you know,

you can see for yourselves.

(light music)

[Tom] Are you ready to go?

Yeah, I-

I'll be one more minute.

What are you doing in here?

What does it look like I'm doing?

It kind of looks like you were checking out your bum.

That's exactly what I was doing.

Not that it's any of my business,

but can I ask why?

Kid at school said I had a flat ass.

So?

Don't listen what people say.

You've got a nice bum.

How do you know?

Well, I'm no expert, but it looks fine.

Maybe you're just standing too far away.

(light music continues)

It's not flat. But if you squat from here.

(Colin chuckles)

Now, you up to scratch!

Let's get back to it.

(doorbell rings)

Hi! You made it!

Oh.

So glad you're here. Really means a lot.

Oh, of course. Of course.

Uncle Harry got me my first camera.

I owe him my whole career!

Really? I didn't know that.

I'm just glad I could be here to honor him.

Yeah, thanks.

How you holding up?

Yeah. Alright.

Best you can do, I guess.

Want a tea?

- Yeah, let's do it. - Let's go.

- Hey. - Hi!

Good to see you.

You too!

We weren't ready to do this before.

I didn't know the right time, but...

(mum sighs)

I just feel like I needed that year to heal

and to think straight. So...

Yeah.

Yeah, I understand.

And fully support you!

Yeah.

Hey, just know that I love you lots. Okay?

Oh, thank you.

(gentle music)

(gentle music continues)

Yeah, I always really loved his black and white shots.

Just the composition,

the way he worked with the light was beautiful.

He was always in his dark room. He loved it.

Getting the exposures just right and I don't know,

just such a beautiful, beautiful photographer.

So glad you've got his camera!

He was truly an inspiration.

Yeah. Look, I've been rambling. I think...

(Helen exhales)

I'm so tired.

I think I need to go and have a lie down.

Sounds good!

Hey, are you still okay to make your own way back tomorrow?

Yeah, I'm gonna go exploring.

I might catch the train in the morning.

Well, thank you so much Helen for sharing those stories.

You're welcome.

Enjoy the camera.

We all good to crack on?

Yeah.

I'm gonna work in tomorrow.

Does anybody want to smoke?

You ask us like you don't know us.

When have we ever smoked a joint with you before?

I'd like to keep my brain cells for as long as possible.

Thank you very much.

I'm just trying to be polite!

I mean, who knows what this guy wants to do?

Oh, I'm Adam and I don't do drugs. Sorry.

I know who you are, man.

You don't remember me?

Sorry. Not sure that I do.

Colin's 18th!

I was the guy playing all the music.

You kept requesting Boney M.

Your music sucked balls.

I wouldn't be using that night for a memory sparker.

Oh yeah, I remember now.

Didn't we have like a DNM while waiting for the bathroom?

Yeah man!

You gave me like the best advice ever.

You kept telling me not to like hold back on life and stuff.

How'd you go with that?

Yeah! I mean, well,

for starters I was really hanging to get my first blowjob

and...

I followed your advice!

Oh!

Yeah. I just asked Colin if he was keen.

Mm hm.

Next thing you know,

I'm in his bedroom and he's sucking me off! So...

Yeah, I think it worked like a charm.

Maybe Stuart,

that story wasn't meant to be told in public.

That's why you disappeared at the party.

Well-

You know, that advice was more about career

and life choices.

Self discovery and whatnot.

Yeah.

And I discovered that I might not be a full gay.

I just like getting a head from a gay!

Hey Colin, what other secrets are you hiding from us?

There's nothing to hide.

It was my birthday, and I was single, and...

just enjoying myself with someone who was interested in me!

I'm gonna go get some food.

Tom!

I might go grab something to eat as well.

Colin, do you want anything?

No, I'm fine.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Just, just a little hungry.

Mm hm.

So, how long have you liked Colin for?

Who said I liked him?

Anyone who's seen a John Hughes teen film

can read between the lines.

Is it that obvious?

Have you told him?

No, no, no, no, no.

It's not simple as that. You know?

He's...

He's been my friend for years.

He lives right next door.

I don't know.

I don't wanna ruin things.

You seem like a good guy, Tom.

And handsome as hell.

And I know Colin and from what I can see,

I'm pretty sure he likes you too.

I don't think so.

Look, I'm a little hesitant

to give out any more advice to Colin's friends.

But...

just follow your heart and you'll never go wrong.

Yeah? (indistinct)

Alright.

Lover boy.

[Holly's boyfriend] You idiot!

We didn't eat pizza after graduation.

Yes we did! I remember.

It was party pies. You moron!

You have no clue!

You're being a jerk and you know it!

Oh, I'm being a jerk?

You can get fucked!

Oh, can I now?

Hey!

Let's not lose track here. Alright?

At graduation, we had party pies and pizza.

And you guys were dancing around for ages romantically

and acting like you were invisible!

So...

Whatever, Mabel.

You don't care what we ate at graduation,

you care about each other.

And you're fighting because you are both passionate people.

You're just doing it because you have feelings!

So why don't you just cut the crap and make up already?

Okay.

I'm sorry, Holly.

Well,

you're an idiot.

(everyone laughing)

I'll be moving out of this town

ASAP to launch my new YouTube channel.

You don't need to leave town to start a YouTube channel.

Yeah, you can do that literally anywhere in the world.

That's the point!

Wasn't your rule channel taken down

because of that viral video?

You would think teaching newbies

how to snort cocaine would be educational. Right?

And now the whole town thinks I'm a drug dealer

based off one little cocaine video.

Well, to be fair,

I was doing it completely wrong until I watched that video.

(all laughing)

Who would've thought such a little town like Horntail

was this exciting?

Adam, I thought you don't do drugs.

I don't.

(person laughs)

You do now!

That's my special brownies, man.

What? Why is it just sitting there?

I wanted to share them with everyone!

Well, maybe you should label what they are next time?

You've only had one. It might not do anything.

This is my second one.

Maybe drink lots of water?

(Colin chuckles)

Am I gonna die?

The chances are slim.

Oh, I feel much better.

Really?

No, I'm freaking out!

Don't worry, man.

You're gonna feel very relaxed very soon.

I'll get you some water.

Oh man.

So, so what like happens?

Do- Am I gonna get weird? Am I gonna pass out?

I'm not gonna pass out. Am I?

I can't deal if I'm gonna pass out.

You'll be so fine. Just relax.

Tell him what it's like!

Can you hold my hand?

Don't listen to the voices.

(both laughing)

Stop.

Not the voices.

Are you a voice? Are you real?

Is this my own hand?

Looks like it.

- Just keep breathing. - Do you want another one?

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh. I feel something.

- Yes, Tom! - Go for it.

Get it in ya!

Yeah?

- Don't do it. - Come on.

- Don't do it. - No, go for it.

- Don't do it. - Don't listen to him.

(Holly clapping)

- Well done! - There you go!

This is exciting.

This is good!

I'll see you on the other side, my friend.

(bright music)

I love this place.

So many trees.

And look at all the lovely faces!

You don't see lovely faces like this in Melbourne.

Do you want some more water?

Maybe that's it.

It's this water.

(Colin chuckles)

Can you promise not to tell mum that we drugged you?

Please?

You drugged me?

No, no. You love me!

Of course we love you!

But we're cool, right?

Oh, I was born cool. (laughs)

Yes. Yes you were.

(both laugh)

I'll be back in one minute. Okay?

Okay.

? I'll be home soon ?

You okay?

Don't you like me?

What? (chuckles)

I thought you liked me.

I can never tell because you're so popular with the boys.

But I'm cute!

Yeah!

A little bit.

Have you had a brownie as well? (chuckles)

Maybe.

Are you mad?

Why didn't you say anything?

You know, because unlike Adam, I wanted it.

Why? That's not like you.

Answer my question. Do you like me?

Of course I do.

You know I think the world of you.

Yeah? Well,

I think...

I think...

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Oh!

Okay.

I'm gonna go now.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah you go.

(song playing)

(song continues playing)

The cocaine.

Guys, I'm sorry.

I know I shouldn't have posted that.

I've done a lot of self-reflection recently.

A lot of thinking about me and the person I wanna be,

but I did think it was gonna be educational at the time

and I've actually heard a couple people say it helps them.

But alas, I know I shouldn't have posted it

and I've taken it all down.

There is now no more cocaine videos

on the internet under my name.

I mean, there might be some out there,

but none under my name.

So I am sorry.

And from now on, I'm gonna be a good person

and influence good things.

Thank you.

Bye-bye!

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0