Original subtitles

(lively music)

(singer chanting)

Hey there.

- How you doing? - (singer chanting)

- Oh. - (singer chanting)

Couldn't help noticing you notice me and my feet.

(scene change chimes)

(scoffs) You know, I've been hearing a lot

of things about you, recently.

? You're banging boys on the street at night ?

Some bad, some good.

Some downright filthy.

? Dirty girls won't listen to that ticking clock, no, no ?

Now, what you're gonna do is

you're gonna follow my instructions very, very carefully.

And maybe I'll let you go

with a happy ending. (laughs)

? Feel so superhuman when you're near ?

(sighs) Ah, take your socks off.

Peel the sock off.

? You make me feel so good ?

There you go.

Now you can see them with all your toes.

- Give them a wiggle. - (singer chanting)

Yeah, give them a wiggle.

Faster.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm, stop.

Faster, mm, stop.

? Rainbow flags and glitter bombs ?

Oops.

? Loaded guns at ready ?

- Mm-hmm. - ? Point that big thick ?

? Glock, oh, no ?

Ah. (laughs)

(mellow music)

Now, with your hands drenched in, I mean,

in, um, (laughs) lotion,

start to massage.

Really caress.

? You make me feel so ?

Get every crack.

? When you're near ?

Don't forget the toenail. (laughs)

Hmm.

Yeah, ah, ah, ah.

Hands off, boys.

? Make my body fly ?

That's all we have time for today.

Come again soon.

(singer chanting)

My goodness, ugh.

Hope you're right, Marco, gee whiz.

- (camera clicks) - ? Mm ?

(computer keyboard clacking)

Flippity flip.

What? What Now?

No, nothing to do with work.

We just got rejected again for a house.

That's the third one this week.

Oh, maybe put in a higher offer.

Well, we would if we could,

but the wedding's holding us back too much.

Don't tell anyone,

but I started an OnlyFans account for feet pics.

I have three subscribers.

So, now I can pay for the icing on the wedding cake.

(laughs) Hey, maybe this campaign will be a hit,

and then you can buy a cake and a house.

I highly doubt that.

But your optimism is calming me somewhat.

Good.

Can you remain calm until I return

from my belated honeymoon?

When are you leaving again?

What, uh, tonight, man.

I've told you three times today.

I'm so sorry, Ange.

Like m-my head is all over the place,

and Cole's gonna be here any second now.

That's very precise of you.

(gasps) Cole, what a surprise.

Sorry, I'm a little early.

Hi.

Ah, that's all good.

We needed a distraction.

From?

Oh, well, it's more that I did.

My house-hunting isn't going so well.

Tell me about it.

I was looking for nearly a year for my place.

Ah, please don't tell him that.

I need him calm today. (laughs)

(Cole laughs)

So, how should we do this?

What do you mean?

Oh, well, I, shall I sit, or keep standing?

[Both] As you are.

Okay.

It's great to meet you both.

I'm guessing you are Adam and you're Ange.

Very perceptive of you.

Ooh, so you need a model.

We do.

My agent didn't give me any dates.

Ah, it's for the 22nd.

Is that all good?

From the top of my head, yes.

And what exactly will I be modeling for?

It's for pump underwear.

Here, let me show you.

Phew, fancy stuff.

Yeah, it's a great brand.

They're based out of Montreal.

We think you'd be a perfect face for the campaign.

Well, you haven't seen all of me.

All of you?

(Cole sighs)

(clothes rustling)

Are you happy with this, too?

(sultry music)

(Adam loudly breathing)

(lively music)

(Adam loudly breathing)

(lively music)

You hired.

(Ange scoffs)

I'll take that as a yes.

Yes, I, I have a feeling this is gonna be...

- really... something- - Um.

- special. - (clears throat) Hey,

uh, the, the wedding cake lady called you again today.

Do you, maybe you wanna...

Ah, yes, 'cause I'm getting married.

- Mm. - (Adam laughs)

Yeah, thank you for reminding me.

That's okay, you wanna get it?

Okay.

(lighthearted music)

So lovely to meet you.

- Yeah. - Thank you for coming in.

- (vehicle droning) - (birds chirping)

(Adam deeply inhales)

(Adam deeply exhales)

(Adam blows)

(birds chirping)

(dog barks)

Babe, you are gone, right?

(birds chirping)

(Adam loudly breathing)

(hand wanking)

(energetic music)

(Adam loudly breathing and moaning)

(energetic music)

(Adam loudly breathing)

(lively music)

(Adam loudly breathing)

(lively music)

(phone chimes)

- (hand slaps) - (Adam groans)

- (birds chirping) - (phone chimes)

Yes?

[Mum] Are you at Gabe's house?

(birds chirping)

I am, uh, is this important?

Because I was kind of in the middle of something big.

It can wait.

I'll be there in two minutes.

Open up.

- (phone clicks) - (phone beeping)

No, uh...

- (phone thuds) - (Adam sighs)

Fuck my life.

- (linen rustling) - (bed squeaks)

- (door clicking) - (feet stamping)

(door clicking)

Is anyone here?

Not that I'm aware of, why?

Okay, I found the perfect coffee table

for my new apartment on Marketplace,

and I need you to help me pick it up.

I've done my back again.

And this needs to happen like right now.

Yes, I don't wanna lose it to someone

who gets there before me.

It's a coffee table.

Wait 'til you see it.

(birds chirping)

(sighs) I'll meet you in the car in one minute.

Hurry up.

(footsteps clomping)

- (Adam deeply exhales) - (feet stamping)

(car hovering)

You know, I found the same coffee table,

brand new, for less money.

Are you sure you're getting a good deal here?

Maybe you should rethink this, mm?

(car hovering)

[Mum] If you say so, Adam.

Yeah, sounds like a good idea.

(car hovering)

Uh, okay, why are you acting strange?

- (brakes squealing) - (bumper thuds)

(Adam sighs)

(gentle music)

(Adam whimpers)

(belt clicks)

(doors clicking)

(gentle music)

Mum?

Is this what I think it is?

(gentle music)

Yes, hon, you're getting married today.

- (birds chirping) - (gentle music)

But, but we were saving,

and he wanted it all fancy.

- (birds chirping) - (gentle music)

Is this real?

It's okay, Adam.

Everything's gonna be okay.

(gentle music)

(birds chirping)

(Adam whimpers and sniffs)

(gentle music)

And now for the vows.

Okay.

(gentle music)

Hey, everyone.

I'm so happy to see so many beloved faces.

I, you'll have to excuse me if my speech isn't as polished

as I was hoping it to be. (chuckles)

(gentle music)

As you all know, today came as a bit of a surprise.

So, but I'm loving all of it.

(gentle music)

For those of you who don't know, this is the place

where Gabe and I first met, back when we used to work here.

(gentle music)

Back then, I was too caught up in my own world

that I couldn't see what was...

(gentle music)

What was right there in front of me.

(gentle music)

- (Gabe chuckles) - (Adam whimpers)

(gentle music)

- Okay. - (Gabe chuckles)

(Adam clears throat)

(gentle music)

Gabe.

(gentle music)

My Gabe. (sniffs)

You are one of the most kindest,

sweetest, and loving people who I have ever met.

(gentle music)

You remind me every day to be a better person.

And I feel like one, with having you by my side.

As a husband, I promise to make you laugh

and to hug you when you're feeling down,

and to support you when you need me. (whimpers)

I promise to let you pick the movies

- that we watch, sometimes. - (Gabe chuckles)

Sometimes. (laughs)

And I promise to be a better listener.

Wow, I did not write that part.

- (everybody chuckles) - (gentle music)

Seriously, my life would be very different without you.

And I'm excited to see where it goes.

(gentle music)

So, in saying that, I promise to love you today,

tomorrow, and forever.

(gentle music)

I love you, Gabe.

(gentle music)

I love you.

That was beautiful, Adam.

Now, let's hear from Gabe.

(gentle music)

Adam, you are

such a special person,

and I am so grateful that I got to meet you in this place.

(gentle music)

Through all the soap suds, the sponges,

- the laughter- - (Adam laughs)

- And the tears. - (Adam squirms)

We saw each other.

(gentle music)

I instantly feel better when I'm around you.

No matter how crazy my day's been.

(gentle music)

I promise to show you that I love you every day.

(Adam whimpers)

(gentle music)

To laugh with you, to cry with you.

And I promise to communicate with you,

to solve any challenges together.

- (Adam sniffs) - (gentle music)

I promise to be your man for life.

Because, Adam, you are my man for life.

(gentle music)

(Adam sniffs)

You are my man. (sniffs)

(gentle music)

Ooh. (sniffs)

(both chuckling)

(gentle music)

(both chuckling)

- I'm shaking, shaking. - (both laughing)

I now pronounce you husband and husband.

You may kiss each other.

- (everybody cheering) - (everybody applauds)

- Woo! - (everybody applauds)

(people chattering)

(everybody cheering)

We're married.

(everybody cheering)

We're married. (laughs)

(sultry music)

I love you so much.

[Gabe] Me too.

(lighthearted music)

? Under the moonlight ?

- Oh my God. - Oh, it's too shiny.

It's too shiny. (laughs)

? Feeling always right ?

- Okay. - Oh.

Oh, my God, congratulations.

Thank you.

Welcome to the family.

- Now I've got more big bros. - (Gabe laughs)

We got three big bros. (laughs)

Hey Clay, Clay, get over here.

Get over here.

Come on, bro.

(laughs) Come on.

Oh, no.

(lighthearted music)

(everybody laughs)

Oh, look at us, two married gays.

- Who would've thought? - (everybody laughs)

If you're setting me up to say something rude

or insulting, then you'll be disappointed

because I always wanted to be a married gay.

Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa.

How many drinks have you had?

- That is so far from true. - No, no, no, I did, I did.

All right, I, I just couldn't admit it.

Mm. (scoffs)

Uh, today's been such a beautiful day.

(singer vocalizing)

No offense, but our wedding was better.

That's true.

And there she is.

That's just a joke, relax.

Though, though the food was five-star.

That's 'cause I picked the caterer.

Mm-hmm, at least we can agree on something.

Right, I'll catch you later.

- All right. - (lighthearted music)

(guests chattering)

Gabe, um, do you mind

if I pull you away for a minute?

Yeah, that's fine.

- Okay. - (guests chattering)

Okay, this might sound strange,

but I need you to get me off.

What are you going on about?

I have blue balls.

When?

Right now.

Why?

Well, when Mum picked me up today

to bring me here, I was halfway through... you know what.

So that's what you get up to when I'm not home.

Honey, hubby, my sweet love.

I don't have time to get into this right now

because the pain that's beginning to form is

so bad that I might cry.

And I don't mean like, you know,

like a single tear flowing down my face kind of cry.

I mean, like the end of cocoa or the beginning of hot...

You know the cry.

Okay, so why don't you just go jerk it off

in the bathroom real quick.

Gabe, Gabe, I'm not gonna blow a load for the first time

as a married man by jerking off alone

and in a public bathroom, okay?

That's not gonna happen.

You are gonna need to assist me.

Okay, well, here's the thing, Adam.

People don't usually have sex during the wedding.

They usually wait until after.

Remember when I said

that having an early moon was a stupid idea,

but I went along with it, and you got plenty

of sex from me, then?

Yes.

So, please, help a husband out.

(guests chattering)

Okay, but only because you called me husband.

Thank you. Thank you.

(lively music)

(Adam screams)

Fucking unbelievable.

(guests chattering)

(hair rustling)

? It's clear to me, the way we move, you ?

We were all crying.

I didn't know that I was gonna be the kind of person

who cried at a wedding, but how wrong I was.

Oh my God, it was so beautiful.

You...

Well, hey, I'm so happy you could make it.

I mean, you know, it could be you one day, you know?

- Fingers crossed. - Mm.

I know there's a guy out there, really.

I just need to find him.

Steve, I'm getting there, thanks.

Um, Adam, this is my mate, Tom.

It's my plus-one for today.

Tom.

Tom, Tom from next door.

Yeah, I'm surprised you remember me.

Well, you've got the same head,

and you've just gone from a yay high to, well, to this high.

Are you still next door?

Yeah, yeah, still next door.

Only now I'm his personal Uber driver.

I just can't seem to pass my test, okay?

And most of the time,

we're heading in the same direction anyway,

so it's not all bad.

(guests chattering and laughing)

You know, Tom, if you were ever interested

in modeling, love to shoot you one day.

Collin did say you're some kind

of famous photographer.

Well, yeah, in a way, yes.

So what do you think?

Come on, Tom, you are so handsome.

I, well, according to polls we had at school, at lunch,

or whatever.

I'll have to give it some thought.

I've never fancied myself a model.

Well, if you ever change your mind, let me know.

- I knew I was. - Hi, everybody.

I don't wanna keep you from the celebrations,

but Gabe and I have been working on a surprise video

for today, and I'm so excited I can finally share-

- More surprises. - Yeah.

Hope you like it.

- Okay. - (energetic music)

It's not working.

Uh, Gabe, could I use your phone, please?

(energetic music)

Thank you.

Just gonna use the Cloud, one sec.

- (hands rubbing) - (energetic music)

Okay, okay, this should work now.

Disobeying orders.

- Oh. - Oh my.

- No. - (everybody laughs)

(energetic music)

Yeah, I know you've been naughty.

- How does that feel? - (guest giggles)

Oh, no, oh my God.

I'm so sorry, that wasn't supposed to happen.

(everybody laughs)

- Oh my. - (Adam snorts)

Well, how else are we supposed to pay for the wedding?

Find something else, man.

- Oh, fuck, mm. - (everybody laughs)

- Why, you just have to- - Takes after his dad's feet.

Nope, pull the cord, get it,

- turn it off. - Where's the cord?

Turn it off.

- Okay. Okay. - (everybody laughs)

- It's gone. - It's gone.

- Is it gone? - All alright.

The show's over.

[Friend] What about that shark, remember?

(everybody laughs)

Oh, best, best, best wedding ever.

Oh, yeah.

Do you know how hard it was keeping a secret

from this one?

He always seems to figure out the surprise.

Not every time.

Wait.

Uh, what's this about?

Um, we are...

Expecting.

A baby?

No, a koala mattress.

Yes, a fucking yes, a baby, yes.

It's a girl, I'm a few months in.

A girl?

Oh, fuck yes.

Oh, I'm so happy.

I'm gonna take her shopping and to dance lessons.

I think what Adam is trying to say is,

we are so happy for you guys.

- Thanks. - Thanks, man.

Congrats, guys.

I'm gonna make the best uncle, I promise.

Are you gonna change the nappies?

Yeah, why not?

I mean, everyone poos, right?

Part of natural life.

- Yeah, yeah. - Natural.

Um, oh, by the way, don't call Mum yet.

We're gonna, we're gonna call her tomorrow, so.

Oh, can you include me in on that phone call?

And can I start it with, "Hey, Grandma, what's happening?"

No, no, no way, no.

- But, please. - No.

If, if, if, if anyone's gonna call her Grandma first, it is,

it is this guy.

He gets all the fun.

It's my kid.

So, Adam, tell us about this foot video.

- Oh, yeah, come on. - Yeah, you freak.

- Yes. - I would love to.

You freaky boy.

(wind whooshing)

I have a fetish.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0