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And so she left your toy on the ground?
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Yes.
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And how did that make you feel?
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I mean, your toy was a huge comfort for
you.
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And so you're in the playground and
you're having... Huge meltdown.
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Well, yeah, you're feeling very intense
emotions.
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And it sounds like this is the first
time that you can remember where you
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really intense pain, loss or grief of
any kind.
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Yes.
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So this is a real opportunity for your
mother to step up and build a bond or a
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connection that says, hey, Callie is
safe with this woman. Callie can depend
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this woman in a time of need.
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Hey, you're not doing anything wrong.
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And you're not betraying your mother.
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You're just telling me what happened and
how it made you feel.
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And it's okay to talk about our
feelings, isn't it?
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Yeah.
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Would you like a break, Callie? We can
always come back to this.
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No, I'm okay.
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Just keep going.
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I'm proud of you.
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Okay, so you said that your mum looks
angry and comes up to you and she
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said, you want to embarrass me, don't
you?
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And then she said, a good girl must keep
herself controlled.
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And then as she's dragging you to the
car, you both notice the toy that you
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thought you lost.
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You say, Mama, Mama, right there.
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And she just pulls me harder and shoves
me in the car.
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And this is the last time you cried in
front of her, wasn't it?
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Willingly, that is.
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You've always kept your emotions
controlled, or over -controlled.
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You know, in all of the years that I've
taken care of patients, I've come to
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believe that eating disorders are a
reflection of our pressing need for
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And our relationship with food or our
rigidity with food is merely a symptom.
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Now, your first caretaker relationship
was riddled with control issues from
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mother.
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I think that healing that mother wound
will really help you to release.
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that need for control.
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I think you need to recreate your mother
-daughter bond in order to reset your
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relationship with control.
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Whirlpool is a really great way to
induce that.
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Would you like to try that with me,
Kelly?
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Yeah.
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00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:12,780
Okay. There are many mother -daughter
bonding exercises that happen in early
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childhood. Now, you're 18, so they won't
exactly have the same effect.
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But I do think these exercises could
greatly impact your psyche and help you
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release some of these control issues.
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Now there are a few exercises that I
have in mind.
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We could swaddle you. We could brush
your hair.
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I could tuck you into bed.
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I could sing to you.
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There's feeding. Are there any that you
feel most comfortable starting with?
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I want you to maintain eye contact the
whole time.
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Okay? It's essential.
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Okay.
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How does that feel?
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Really good.
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Good.
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00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:06,130
Okay.
60
00:05:06,830 --> 00:05:09,070
I think we could move on to the next
exercise.
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00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,170
Would you like to try hair brushing?
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00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:13,650
Sure. Okay. Let me unwrap you.
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00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:31,860
Have a seat. You can pop your legs up.
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And just relax.
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That's it.
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00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,000
Just relax.
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You are safe.
68
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:02,680
You will love.
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00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:11,200
There is nothing that you need to do and
nothing that you need to be
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00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,360
in order to earn my love.
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00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:29,820
There is another exercise that we could
try.
72
00:06:34,250 --> 00:06:41,170
You could suck on my fingers like I'm
pacifying you.
73
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:45,450
Something that's done a lot in early
childhood.
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00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:39,200
I can't visit you anymore.
75
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:46,500
Um, well, Callie, I respect your
decision, but I also just want you to
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00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:47,500
you can talk to me.
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00:08:47,980 --> 00:08:49,240
I won't shame you.
78
00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:52,420
Shaming of any kind is not welcome here,
in fact.
79
00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:54,820
Dr. Rose, I think I have feelings for
you.
80
00:09:12,170 --> 00:09:17,390
Normally I would say these feelings are
transference, but I would be dishonest
81
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,230
if I said that I didn't notice those
feelings.
82
00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:24,190
And that I didn't feel those feelings
myself.
83
00:09:25,170 --> 00:09:28,590
Yesterday was very intense, to say the
least, for the both of us.
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00:09:30,130 --> 00:09:31,850
That's exactly why I have to leave.
85
00:09:32,890 --> 00:09:34,050
It's all my fault.
86
00:09:34,470 --> 00:09:37,270
I should have never started grinding on
you like that.
87
00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:42,860
I'm just all kinds of fucked up and I
don't... Hey, now, I don't want to hear
88
00:09:42,860 --> 00:09:44,180
you say that because it's not true.
89
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,780
Secondly, healing is not about growth.
90
00:09:48,340 --> 00:09:51,740
It's about opening your heart to love
and acceptance. Growth is merely a
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00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:52,740
symptom.
92
00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:55,680
And lastly, I don't want to give up on
you.
93
00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:01,340
I want you to experience that mother
-daughter bond, Callie. I won't abandon
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00:10:01,340 --> 00:10:02,940
in your time of need. I won't.
95
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,440
So if you stay...
96
00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:09,530
Just know that there is nothing that
won't stop me from being with you and
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00:10:09,530 --> 00:10:10,530
loving you.
98
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,150
I love you too, Dr. Rose.
99
00:10:16,610 --> 00:10:19,830
Look, why don't we try some of those
exercises again, okay?
100
00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:23,890
But don't worry about the feelings, just
accept them as they come.
101
00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:25,850
What would you like to try next?
102
00:10:28,130 --> 00:10:31,590
Um... The breastfeeding?
103
00:10:34,150 --> 00:10:35,150
Okay.
104
00:10:35,420 --> 00:10:39,720
But I will keep my shirt on to minimize
chances of arousal.
105
00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:47,120
So I just want you to suck on me and
maintain eye contact.
106
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:51,080
And through the whole process, I want
you to just think about the fact that
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00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,780
you're receiving from me is love and
acceptance and nourishment.
108
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:56,520
Okay?
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00:11:54,759 --> 00:11:55,759
this unclothed.
110
00:11:56,260 --> 00:12:03,040
I will release my breath and I want you
to just keep doing what you were doing
111
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,120
because you were doing such a good job.
112
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:53,750
What am I doing?
113
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:40,920
Thank you.
114
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:55,140
and just let me take the reins a little
bit.
115
00:42:55,340 --> 00:42:56,340
Yeah.
116
00:42:56,820 --> 00:43:00,080
I think we still have some more things
to work on there.
117
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:01,600
Okay.
118
00:43:02,700 --> 00:43:03,900
Anytime next week.
8926
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