Original subtitles

This way.

Hey, let's go.

We're getting out of here. Yeah, what about us? Let's out of here.

Come with me.

Has the other guy looked, Lieutenant?

Major.

She doesn't look as bad as he does.

She? It's a long story, ma 'am. Well, it better be a good one. And what's your

excuse?

Well, you wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Bud, you're getting married in a few hours.

I really appreciate you coming down here, Major. I owe you one.

One? You two owe me a million.

Do you have any idea what the Admiral's going to say when he hears about this?

Oh, I think you'll understand.

Following in his father's footsteps as a naval aviator, Lieutenant Commander

Harmon Rabb, Jr. suffered a crash while landing his Tomcat on a storm -tossed

carrier at sea.

Diagnosed with night blindness, Harm transferred to the Navy's Judge Advocate

General Corps, which investigates, defends, and prosecutes the law of the

There, with fellow JAG lawyer Major Sarah McKenzie, he now fights in and out

the courtroom with the same daring and tenacity.

that made him a top gun in the air.

I can't believe they detained you, Admiral.

Thanks, two of us.

Have you seen Harriet, ma 'am? I really need to explain to her what happened.

I'll skip the explanation button and throw myself on the mercy of the court.

What exactly happened? I have no idea. I think it started a couple of days ago

when Rand made the headlines.

Believe me, Admiral, it wasn't me.

Naval aviator ran amok at Washington's ultra -hip club Vertigo last night,

bringing new meaning to the old song, What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor?

The dashing top gun was last seen mooning police officers before

into the night in full afterburner.

What are you guys looking at me for?

You're the only lieutenant commander I know with wings and jag and signet on

shoulder boards.

Does kind of look like you, huh?

What do you think, Carolyn?

Ooh, guilty as charged.

It wasn't me, Admiral. For one thing, I was here with the lieutenant until 2230

last night working on the Holbarth case.

He was, sir.

Yeah, and I don't even have my dress whites at the moment. They're at the

cleaners.

Harm Rap.

R -A -B -B.

I don't see your name, Ham.

Harm. Ham.

I've been bringing my uniforms here for three years, Mr. Marvel. Then you should

be in the computer.

Maybe they are under your wife's name. I'm not married.

Neela!

This handsome young man who's very single has lost his uniform.

No, I didn't lose my uniform.

You lost my uniform, sir.

Do you have a ticket?

No. Why do you think we give you a ticket?

It's Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rapp.

Service dress white, naval uniform.

My daughter works too hard. I keep saying she should go out more. She's

She should have some more fun.

What do you think, Ab?

I think that you should find my uniform, sir. I have a wedding on Saturday.

965. Next time bring your ticket.

This is not my uniform.

Oh, yes, it is. Naval dress, white uniform.

These are ancient bars. This is not my uniform.

What's wrong with this picture?

I can do all the questions.

Bud,

you ready to go over that Crothers file?

Yes, ma 'am.

Is this part of the Crothers file? No, no, that's a personal file I'm just

to get rid of.

Are you okay, Bud? I'm fine, ma 'am. I'm just a little nervous, you know, first

case and all.

Of course, it couldn't have anything to do with the fact that you're getting

married in three days, two hours, and 36 minutes.

May I?

Is this you?

Yeah. I wanted to be a cowboy when I grew up.

What is all this?

It's just my future file. Pictures of stuff that I wanted to do in life.

You wanted to be a rabbi?

I wanted to go to the Holy Land.

Cruise across America.

I guess I don't need that now that I have Harriet.

So why are you throwing it all away?

I'm probably not going to get a chance to do any of it now that I'm getting

married. Why not?

Marriage isn't about losing your freedom, bud, despite what you may have

told by Jag's bachelor brigade.

Being married is about...

Having someone to share your dreams with.

I know Harriet loves to travel, and I bet she'd look pretty hot on the back of

motorcycle.

Yeah.

Thanks, Major.

You're welcome.

Oh, but you might have to give up the swimsuit model.

Right.

You've been blessed with the Beaumont cleavage.

It's a crime to hide it.

Mother, I want something old -fashioned.

This is a wedding, Harriet, not an antique show. Now turn around, darling,

me see. It's her wedding, and she knows what she wants.

She has since she was six.

And look where it's got her.

Mother!

I like the one you tried on first, honey.

Why do you always agree with Harriet?

Just once, I would like for you to agree with me.

I agree with you, Lydia.

When you're right.

Thank you, Dad.

I am just trying to keep her from making any more mistakes.

And what was my first mistake, Mother?

Never marry a man named after a dog.

Dad! In Roth v.

Higgins, it defines the elements for desertion. I think it really gives us

something to go on.

Have you considered going for the lesser charge?

Unauthorized absence?

Yes. Major, I have an ironclad case.

The penalties are almost the same, bud, and it's easier to prove.

You don't think I can do it. But Harm and I were the ones who told the Admiral

that you were ready to be trial counsel.

Maybe you were just being nice.

Okay, let's go for desertion. What have you got?

I have all the elements to prove intent to shirk important service.

Stephen Crothers was assigned a garbage duty when he absented himself without

authority. Well, it's my intent to argue that all service is important service,

no matter how trivial.

Sir, did you find your uniform?

No. Sir, the wedding's in three days.

I know, bud. And you're my best man.

Bud. Sir, it's a military ceremony. If you're not wearing your dress whites, I

don't even know if you can go. You can't.

Relax.

I'll have my dress whites.

Everything will run like clockwork. It's all going to be fine.

I'm sorry, sir. I'm just not acting like I usually do.

Yeah, you are. Todd, it's natural for the groom to be nervous, but you've got

nothing to be worried about.

Harriet's got this wedding plan better than Desert Storm. What could go wrong?

Larry!

Dad,

please!

Hey, buddy.

Mikey, look at you. You've grown, little brother.

Who are you two? It's you.

Hey, hey, hey.

You going to introduce your father, or do I have to do it?

Lieutenant Commander Rabb, Major McKenzie, this is... Buddy's old man.

Master Chief Roberts, USN, retired.

Well, it's nice to meet you, sir. I've heard a lot about you, Commander.

And you too, Major.

Too bad about your guy getting shot, but the world's gone all to hell.

Nice to meet you, Master Chief.

Hey, let's not stand on formality.

My friends call me Bud.

Big Bud.

And this is my brother Mikey.

Sir? Ma 'am?

Sure you can.

Well, you can.

Sorry, sir.

You won't be able to once you enlist. Ma 'am.

So, where's Henrietta?

Harriet. She's getting her wedding dress altered.

Oh. Taken in or taken out?

Hey, this isn't a shotgun wedding, is it?

No.

I was just wondering if you took after your old man, son.

I'm kidding.

It's not funny, Dad.

So, Mikey, your brother tells us you're going to art school.

Well, I helped you, sir. The Navy taught me all I ever needed to know, and it'll

do the same for you.

Bud, we have a witness to interview.

Bud's trying his first case tomorrow.

I'm prosecuting.

You're no lawyer.

Any commissioned officer is qualified to prosecute in a special court martial,

Master Chief.

Especially since Bud passed his mid -year law finals with honors.

Well,

I guess prosecuting is a lot easier than defending, huh?

I guess we better get going, Major.

Mikey, it was great seeing you. Hey, will I get to see you later?

Absolutely. Hey, maybe you will, maybe you won't. I'm taking Mikey down to

Norfolk to show him what the real Navy's like. In fact, I may enlist him.

No, you won't, Dad.

Yeah? Why not?

Because I'm in the wedding, right, bud?

Right.

Nice to meet you, Master Chief.

It's what they all say, Major.

That reminds me, Friday night I'm throwing this little Bon Voyage party

Buddy. A couple of my ex -shipmates will be there, and I'd like to invite you

and Admiral Chugawagon.

Chegwood.

I'd be delighted to come. Thank you, sir. I'm sure the Admiral would, too.

It's going to be one of those old -fashioned crossing the line type

you know.

You have crossed the line, haven't you, Commander?

Only the equator, sir.

This is not my uniform.

147.

147. This is your uniform.

This is a police uniform.

Mine are Navy dress whites. I'm a JAG lawyer.

My brother -in -law is the Johnny Cochran of Calcutta. So don't threaten

ham.

I'm not threatening you, Mr. Marvel. I just want my uniform.

Look, this belongs to Joe Garvey. I'm sure he probably has my uniform. You

an address on this guy? Yeah, he's a good customer.

He's in the computer.

Give me his address.

Can't do that.

Okay,

Ham.

Will you all make an exception?

Thank you.

Don't thank me. Thank my daughter when you take her out to dinner.

Are you ready, Lieutenant Robert?

Yes, sir, I am.

You may call your first witness.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Government calls Edward Granger to the stand.

Mr. Granger, you own Metro Fuel.

Yes. And you hired Robert Carruthers as a mechanic.

Yes. When Robert Carruthers filled out his employment application, did he tell

you that he was a seaman in the United States Navy?

No. Thank you, sir. That will be all.

Robbie's a good worker.

Your Honor, the government has no further questions.

Well, I don't think it's fair that you don't let me tell the whole story.

I'm going to give you that chance, sir.

Mr. Granger, you say that Mr. Crothers was a good horse?

Ensign? Yes, sir. Could I speak to you for one second, sir?

Speak away.

Classified, sir.

Classified. Operation Clove Hitch.

Clove Hitch?

Tying the knot, sir.

That'll be all, Turner.

Aye, sir.

Answer? Ma 'am, do you own an apartment building at 56 7th Street?

Yes. And is Robert Carruthers a tenant at that address?

Yes, he is.

For how long?

Nine years.

And about how far away from this apartment building is Andrew's Air Force

Oh, about six minutes by car.

Thank you, ma 'am. No further questions.

That's all?

Yes, ma 'am. Robbie is my best tenant.

Ma 'am, thank you. That will be all.

Your Honor, the government has no further questions.

Yes?

Undersecretary Joukowsky's on line one, Admiral.

Uh, take a message.

He says it's about the Russell hearing, sir.

Tell him I'll call him back in 15 minutes, Tyner. I'm right in the middle

something.

Mmm.

Mm -hmm.

I'd go with the salmon, the avocado, and the pate.

What about the caviar, sir?

Too ostentatious.

Ensign, nobody really likes fish eggs.

Oh.

Now get this away from me before I eat the whole thing.

Thank you, sir.

You don't know how much this means to me.

Glad I could help.

Sir, if you ever get tired of the Navy, you could make a fortune as a wedding

planner. Don't spread that around. I'd hate to have to kill you.

And that's when you pulled Seaman Carruthers over?

Yes.

And before... Right.

Uh, before you wrote Seaman Carruthers a ticket for driving without a taillight,

what did you do?

I ran his name through the database to see if there were any warrants out.

That is standard procedure.

And what did you find? That there was an outstanding government warrant for the

Seaman's arrest.

Then what did you do?

I placed him under arrest and advised him of his rights.

Not any time did Seaman Carruthers inform you that he was an unauthorized

absentee from the Navy or that he was even a member of the United States Navy?

No, he did not.

Thank you, sir. That will be all.

During the ten years that he was absent, Seaman Carruthers did not attempt to

turn himself in, even though he lived six minutes away from a military

He did not reveal that he was in the service on his employment application.

The only reason Seaman Carruthers came forward now was that he was arrested.

Seaman Carruthers is guilty of desertion under Article 85 of the Uniform Code of

Military Justice.

Is the defense ready for judgment?

We are, Your Honor.

In the case of United States v. Seaman Robert Crothers, United States Navy, we

find the accused guilty of the charge and specification of desertion.

Congratulations, Counselor.

Mr.

Roberts.

Sir.

The sentencing phase of the court, Marshal, will begin tomorrow at 0900.

And please leave your cheering section at home, Lieutenant.

This is a courtroom, not American gladiators.

Yes, Your Honor.

Sorry, sir.

Looks like Bud did a good job in there.

He had a good teacher.

And he probably got a few pointers from you, too.

Ha ha.

Nothing changes.

I never met an officer with a sense of humor.

I thought you were taking Mikey over to Norfolk.

And miss you playing Matlock?

He did a really good job, bud. Mom would have been proud.

Proud of what?

Screwing up some poor guy's life who isn't hurting anybody?

Don't listen to him, bud.

Watch it.

So, uh, when are we going to meet this girl of yours?

We're having dinner with her tonight.

How's my hair?

You got your mother's hair.

But the Navy's going to take care of all of that.

Cut it all off in boot.

That looks great, Mike. See you later.

Thank you.

First time I told Bud about the birds and the bees, he cried.

Thank God he was leaving to go into the Navy the next day, and I didn't have to

listen to him.

He's just kidding.

Bud, he's never had much luck with the opposite sex. And do you think Harriet

has?

Hey, I think he did a pretty good job.

Thank you, Mikey.

You're okay in my book.

So, uh, Rollo, I hear you have a yacht.

Well, a small yacht. It is not that small, Roland.

Big enough for Mikey and me to take a little shakedown cruise?

Uh, Dad.

Anytime.

I'm gonna take you up on that, Roland.

So what are your plans for the future, Michael?

Well, my dad wants me to go into the Navy. Well, the Navy has always been

good for your family.

What do you want to do, Mikey?

You want to draw on the back of menus?

I want to be a cartoonist. Can you beat that?

Cartoons. Can you make a living doing that?

Well, Charles Schultz, Scott Adam, and Gary Larson do. You need something

to fall back on, like welding.

I think Mike should do what he wants to do.

Follow his bliss.

His bliss?

I'll give him bliss.

A blister is behind if he doesn't go into the Navy.

No, you're not dead.

Oh, yeah? What are you going to do about it? Sue me?

He just might.

I understand you won your first case today.

Congratulations.

Thank you, sir.

I'm sorry.

No, I am sorry. My mother is completely out of control.

Well, at least your dad isn't throwing you a bachelor party at a strip club.

Ew. No.

Will you still marry me?

If you back out on me now, I'm going to kill you.

Dad, you've had too much to drink. What, are you telling me how to drive?

No, I'm just saying you've had a lot to drink and you should let me drive. Yeah,

well, I think you should shut up and get in the car. You can walk.

It was nice to meet your brother and your dad today.

The Master Chief's a real colorful guy.

Yeah, he's colorful, all right.

Spent enough time with him, he ended up black and blue.

He's abusive?

Let's just put it this way. His idea of tough love is bouncing your head against

the wall.

Uh -huh.

If you feel this way about him, bud, why'd you invite him to your wedding?

He's my dad.

You know how it is.

Harriet thought he should be here. Does Harriet know he's abusive?

No. No, you can't tell something like that to your fiancée. I think you might

wrong about that one, but... Abused kids become abusive parents. I'm afraid that

she'll think that I want to hit our children. I think Harriet knows you a

better than that.

You try talking to him about it?

He only talks about three things. The Navy, baseball, and women.

I'm worried about Mikey.

Well, maybe take some action on this. Bring it out in the open.

I spent a whole lifetime trying to get away from all that.

I don't know if I could go through it again.

Stephen Crothers, you have the right to submit evidence on your behalf in

extenuation and mitigation.

Your Honor, I'd just like to apologize to the Navy and to my unit members for

what I did. I was young, stupid when I went UA, and I didn't

know how to fix it.

Thank you, sir.

Mr. Roberts, do you have any argument to make on sentencing?

Your Honor, given Seaman Carruthers' conviction of this offense, desertion

10 years, as well as the manner in which his absence was terminated, the

government submits that his military service was not honorable and requests a

bad conduct discharge.

The government further recognizes that since Seaman Carruthers committed that

offense, he's been an upstanding citizen, an excellent employee, and a

provider for his young family.

It is not the government's desire nor intent to cause his family to suffer for

Seaman Crothers' youthful folly.

Therefore, the government requests that there be no forfeiture of pay or

confinement.

Your Honor, I concur with Mr. Roberts' statement. I find it both just and

compassionate.

Would the defendant please rise?

Seaman Robert Crothers, I hereby sentence you with a bad conduct

no further punishment.

The court -martial is adjourned.

At a change of heart?

I think you were right, Major. I shouldn't have gone for desertion.

It's a lot more than a law school exercise.

I'm impressed, bud.

Come on, I'll buy you a celebratory cappuccino.

Do you mind if I take a rain check?

I just want to sit here for a minute.

Hi, I'm looking for Joe Garvey.

Why?

There was a mix -up at the dry cleaners. I wound up with his uniform, and I

think that he has mine.

He doesn't live here anymore.

Are you a pilot?

Sometimes.

What airline?

The United States Navy.

I hear they're good.

You wouldn't happen to know where I might find Joe, would you?

Well, if he still has a job, he'll be working nine to midnight at the

It's an alley club off Bedford.

Okay.

By chance, did he leave a set of dress whites here?

I hope not.

I gave all of his stuff to the Salvation Army.

I don't care what my mother ordered. I don't want a mermaid. I want a swan.

No, no, no, you listen to me. Listen, no.

No, I am getting married in less than 24 hours, so don't tell me about pressure,

okay? I'm about this close to going bridal.

Now, if I don't see an ice swan on my buffet table tomorrow, somebody's going

find you floating face down in a bouillabaisse.

Are you okay, Anson?

Just peachy, Major.

I think that you need to try to relax and enjoy this, Harriet.

Look, why don't you let me take you out tonight? We can have a little dinner,

maybe a few laughs.

That'd be fun, but my mom's planning that stupid girls' night out thing.

Oh, right.

Could it get any worse than that?

You are still coming with me, aren't you?

I mean, I know it's a lot to ask and everything.

I am your maid of honor, Harriet. I am also a Marine. I think I can handle your

mother.

Hmm.

Do you want to go through with it, Admiral?

No.

Admiral, Commander.

Sorry, I had no idea it was going to be like this.

Don't worry about it.

Sir, thank you for coming. It really means a lot to me.

It's the least we could do, bud.

Every condemned man needs his last hurrah.

You're joking, right, sir?

I mean about the condemned part?

Of course we are, bud.

Marriage is the greatest institution on earth.

We're envious of you.

Well, then, sir.

Sir. Sir.

Why are you both still single, then?

Envious. Not too... Go ahead.

No, thanks. Take it.

I don't like beer, Dad. What do you mean you don't like beer? What do you want,

a pineapple with an umbrella in it?

I've got a soda.

Hey, it's time you became a man. Now, you either take this beer or you're

to... Hey!

He said he didn't want the beer.

Lucky for you, buddy, this is your bachelor party, because I'm going to cut

some slack.

Go on, Mikey.

You don't have to follow him.

Better than I do, bud.

Okay.

Bud.

I've got to disappear for a while. I've got to talk to a guy about my uniform.

You still don't have your dress white?

Sir, the wedding is tomorrow. You're my best man. You don't have your dress

white? I don't even know if you can comment. Admiral, will you order the

lieutenant to relax?

Relax, Lieutenant.

Aye, aye, sir.

Hey, any of you guys chill, Garvey?

He's on stage.

Hey, this area's off the limit.

Look, the uniform belongs to me, buddy. I just want the uniform.

Wrong answer.

Hey, pal, look, I don't want any trouble, all right? I got a wedding in

morning. I need the uniform. Look, I'm warning you right now, I'm a black belt.

Don't make me hurt you. And I'm warning you right now, I'm a lawyer. Don't make

me sue you.

Really? Yeah.

You ever handle any sexual harassment suits?

What?

The owner here's got a bad habit of pinching me every time I walk past.

Kind of humiliating.

Thanks.

Commander!

Hey!

Commander! I brought you the bandage diploids.

Oh, oh.

Hey, girls!

Come over and meet Commander Rapp.

Hey, uh, where's Bud?

Oh, that's what I thought. I mean, he was moving towards the head with one of

the gals.

I didn't think he had it in him myself.

I'll go get him.

Excuse me, ladies.

Say, ladies, you're not going to charge me extra for this, are you? Uh -huh.

Oh, slow it down.

Commander,

where have you been?

This party's getting out of control.

I'll say.

You see the admiral, bud?

No, they denied my dad's credit card. The admiral's talking to the club

trying to work it out. Wow.

What's wrong with her? I think she needs a doctor, sir.

Well, how much did she have to drink?

Nothing. I think it's morning sickness.

You're kidding, right?

No, I have a pregnancy test in my purse. I was going to do it this afternoon,

but I had a tort file and I just ran out of time.

You're in law school?

My third year at George Mason.

No way. I'm in my second year. Do you know Professor Wilkin?

He called me. I hate to interrupt his campus chat, but I'd like to find the

apple. Where's the manager's office?

Around the corner to the left.

Pardon? Around the corner to the left. Thanks.

So this is your bachelor party?

Yeah, I'm getting married tomorrow.

So who's the lucky lady?

Mother!

You have to do me a humongous favor and please take my mother back to her hotel.

The watch is collateral.

320.

Well, I figure you're ready to leave then, sir.

Very. Hi, I'm Big Bud. Do you want to hear something, buddy? Why don't we

the lieutenant on the way out, sir?

himself in a bar fight.

Yeah, I know. Remember me?

United States Navy versus Seaman Mouska?

Did I defend you?

Prosecuted. Those handcuffs aren't too tight, are they? Sir?

Bud, what's going on?

Harry, what are you doing here?

You are getting married in less than half an hour.

No, Mother, I'm not.

It is not like a Beaumont to quit.

I am not a Beaumont.

I'm an ensign in the United States Navy.

I am sick as a dog, and my fiancé got beat up by a pregnant stripper last

Hello?

Uh, just a minute.

It's your future husband.

I have no idea who that might be.

She's still getting dressed, but I'll have her call you when she's ready.

Okay.

Harriet's going to call off the wedding.

She said that?

No, but she won't come to the phone.

But she's probably getting ready.

You know how long it takes a woman to get ready just to go to the store to buy

milk? This is her wedding day.

I'm sure. She probably started getting ready yesterday.

You're probably right.

I got it.

Mikey.

Hey, Commander.

Hey, come on in. Where's your dad?

I don't know, sir.

I went to the motel for my club.

Never came home.

Hey, Mike.

Hey, buddy.

You know, I'm...

I'm sorry I ran out on you last night.

What are you talking about?

You would have never left me alone in the middle of a fight.

Oh, hey, come here.

Okay,

look, we got 15 minutes to get to the chapel, so let's get these Hollywood

sunglasses off of you and... It was an accident.

Yeah, the hell it was.

Okay, look, to Harriet and I getting married, you're going to come live with

all right? You'll go to school here.

Dad wants me to go into the Navy.

The hell with what Dad wants.

Hey, your brother's right, Mike.

You have talent, man. You should pursue it.

You're both in the Navy.

Doing what we want to do.

Your father was a naval aviator, right, Commander?

Yeah. And isn't that why you became one?

Probably. My dad's a sailor.

Why couldn't I have had a son?

I don't know why she gets like this. She was a nice little girl.

Always so well behaved.

Mother.

Why don't you take a walk?

Don't talk to me like that, young lady.

It's just nerves, Mrs. Sims. Give her a minute to collect herself.

I don't know why you can't be more like Major McKenzie.

You're going to be okay, Harry.

I feel like I'm going to puke. No, nonsense.

You're just scared.

I have every reason to be.

All my parents do are fight and bicker.

I don't want my marriage to end up like that.

Harriet, everyone fights. It's part of being human.

Yeah, but I want it to be really great.

You probably sound like a sap.

Guess I'd have to agree with that assessment, Ensign. You are a sap.

You have got the greatest guy who wants to make you his wife, and you're sitting

here afraid to get up off the couch.

Do you really think we're going to be happy?

I think that you and Bud are going to be as happy as two people have a right to

be.

Now get in your dress.

That's an order.

Yes, ma 'am.

Thank you, Major.

You know, if I had a sister, I'd want her to be just like you.

Thank you, Harriet.

I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

Well, dear, I'm glad to see you've come to your senses.

Mother, will you do me a favor?

Anything, darling.

Don't talk to me for the next 24 minutes.

Pardon me?

Mother, this is my day.

This is the husband that I want.

This is the life that I want.

So you can either enjoy the day, and you can share in my happiness, or you can

sashay your southern bell butt right back home, and there is no middle

Okay, so how do I look?

Like you went ten rounds with Mike Tyson.

Come in.

Wow.

Poking like a true robber.

All right, Mikey, let me have a look at that shiner.

Don't worry, a little cover -up makeup will hide a multitude of sins.

I'm going to ruin the wedding pictures.

Not once I'm done with you.

Looking good, Major.

It's okay.

Now let me see it.

You look very handsome, Mikey.

How's my hair?

Well, well, well.

I better check on Harriet.

You hit him last night.

You tell him that?

He didn't have to.

He was getting lippy.

It doesn't give you the right to hit him. It does in my book. I'm trying to

him tough. Like you?

There's a difference between being strong and being a bully.

It was for your own good. Nobody ever picked on you, did they? Just guys like

you. Well, I'm sorry if I'm no Mr. Father Knows Best, but they don't teach

rearing in the Navy.

You made me hate you.

You guys.

You always had food to eat, you had clean clothes, and you had a roof over

head. We could have gotten that in an orphanage. Yeah, well, I don't need to

take this from you, Mr. Big Shot Lieutenant Lawyer. Dad, don't. Yeah,

you going to do about it? Stop it. Yeah, make me. Dad, don't. You shut up and

keep out of this or I'll close your other eye.

Don't you ever raise your fist against Mikey or me again.

Come on, Mikey.

We're getting out of here.

It's Bud's wedding, Dad.

Yeah, well, you have an appointment with a Navy recruiter. It's not your life.

It's his.

Don't do it, Mikey.

Sorry, Bud.

You'll be seeing us anytime soon.

Mikey, you'll always be welcome in my life.

But I never want to see you again.

Dearly beloved, we have come together in the presence of God to witness and

bless the joining together of this man and this woman.

in holy matrimony.

Marriage is not intended to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but

reverently, deliberately, and in accordance to the purposes for which it

instituted by God.

I,

Bud J. Roberts, Jr., take you, Harriet Beaumont Sims, to be my wife, to have

to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for

through sickness and unhealth, to love and to cherish until separated by death.

This is my solemn vow to you.

I, Harriet Beaumont Sims, take you, Bud J. Roberts, Jr.,

to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for

worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, to love and

to cherish until we are parted by death.

This is my solemn vow to you.

This ring.

It's a symbol of my vow with all that I am and all that I have.

I pronounce that you are husband and wife.

For the first time in public, Lieutenant J .G. and Mrs. Bud J. Roberts, Jr.

Go Navy!

Return!

Sword!

Up!

Dismissed!

I've been waiting a long time for this.

Oh, so have I.

Oh, wow.

Well, since everybody's kissing the bride, I guess I'll kiss the groom.

Red light, Commander.

So, uh, did I get to kiss the bride, buddy?

I think you better, little brother.

Hey, who is it?

Drinks, by the way.

Excuse me, sir.

He's your friend.

Don't ask.