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1
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,304
His wife's funeral was almost
a year ago, and they're still
2
00:00:09,305 --> 00:00:10,937
living off the meals
people made for them.
3
00:00:10,938 --> 00:00:12,405
- Hey, Wade.
- Hey, Tracy.
4
00:00:12,406 --> 00:00:14,475
This man has no idea what catnip
5
00:00:14,476 --> 00:00:15,666
he is to these women.
6
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,273
You are a devoted father.
7
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You were a devoted husband.
8
00:00:19,046 --> 00:00:20,984
You are a unicorn.
You know, that elusive
9
00:00:20,985 --> 00:00:23,750
- creature that all single women are looking for.
- Are you guys saying
10
00:00:23,751 --> 00:00:25,676
that all of these women
are only into me because
11
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:26,786
- my wife died?
- Yep.
12
00:00:26,787 --> 00:00:28,054
You're factory fresh, buddy.
13
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:31,525
Ah.
14
00:00:31,526 --> 00:00:33,874
Oh, what stinks in here?
15
00:00:33,875 --> 00:00:35,461
Noah's eating Sour Bombz.
16
00:00:35,462 --> 00:00:37,120
They're the sourest thing in the world.
17
00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:39,730
Don't believe me? Ask a scientist.
18
00:00:39,731 --> 00:00:42,324
Oh, my God, that chemical
smell is making my eyes water.
19
00:00:42,325 --> 00:00:44,216
Natalie?
20
00:00:44,217 --> 00:00:46,072
Hey, Grace, can you
put your seat belt on?
21
00:00:46,073 --> 00:00:48,041
Grace?
22
00:00:49,076 --> 00:00:50,410
Hello?
23
00:00:50,411 --> 00:00:52,894
- She's on Instagram.
- What? No, I'm not!
24
00:00:52,895 --> 00:00:54,714
- Then what is it?
- Oh, it's a new app.
25
00:00:54,715 --> 00:00:56,616
It's called "Why don't you
mind your own business?"
26
00:00:56,617 --> 00:00:57,884
Yeah, I've heard of it.
27
00:00:57,885 --> 00:01:01,436
Wade, word on the street is
you've got a date tonight.
28
00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:04,165
Oh, yeah? Is the street your mom?
29
00:01:04,166 --> 00:01:06,989
I'd rather not say, but she
says you shouldn't be allowed
30
00:01:06,990 --> 00:01:09,316
to pick out your own date
because you've got no sense.
31
00:01:09,317 --> 00:01:12,619
Well, that's an interesting perspective.
32
00:01:16,103 --> 00:01:18,204
All right.
33
00:01:20,474 --> 00:01:21,508
Hey, Michelle.
34
00:01:21,509 --> 00:01:22,934
- Hey, Wade.
- Bye.
35
00:01:22,935 --> 00:01:24,915
Uh, by any chance, have you been talking
36
00:01:24,916 --> 00:01:26,658
about my social life
in front of your kids?
37
00:01:26,659 --> 00:01:27,699
It wasn't me.
38
00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:31,242
Noah, what did Mama say
about keeping our mouths shut?
39
00:01:31,243 --> 00:01:32,786
I'm just making small talk.
40
00:01:32,787 --> 00:01:34,254
Well, talk about sports.
41
00:01:34,255 --> 00:01:35,813
Which one? There's, like, a hundred.
42
00:01:35,814 --> 00:01:38,658
I don't care. Basketball,
football, hockey.
43
00:01:38,659 --> 00:01:39,984
Sorry, Wade.
44
00:01:39,985 --> 00:01:41,494
- Fencing.
- What's fencing?
45
00:01:41,495 --> 00:01:42,762
It's things with knives.
46
00:01:42,763 --> 00:01:44,497
- You'd like it.
- Can I sit in the front?
47
00:01:44,498 --> 00:01:46,666
No, you can't sit in the front,
'cause you don't know no sports.
48
00:01:46,667 --> 00:01:49,135
- So then, as soon as he walked away...
- Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
49
00:01:49,136 --> 00:01:51,662
- ... my friend said, "Do you know who that is?"
- Mm?
50
00:01:51,663 --> 00:01:53,532
- "That was Boston Rob".
- No.
51
00:01:53,533 --> 00:01:55,525
- Boston Rob? No.
- Yes!
52
00:01:55,526 --> 00:01:56,556
Yeah.
53
00:01:56,557 --> 00:01:58,211
I have no idea who that is.
54
00:01:58,212 --> 00:02:00,213
Oh.
55
00:02:00,214 --> 00:02:01,715
The guy from Survivor.
56
00:02:01,716 --> 00:02:03,227
Oh, Survivor. Oh.
57
00:02:03,228 --> 00:02:04,551
Oh, I-I-I... I love them.
58
00:02:04,552 --> 00:02:06,553
Are you kidding? "Eye of the Tiger"?
59
00:02:06,554 --> 00:02:08,054
I didn't know they were from Boston.
60
00:02:08,055 --> 00:02:10,490
Oh... oh, no.
61
00:02:10,491 --> 00:02:13,560
No, Survivor, the television show?
62
00:02:13,561 --> 00:02:15,862
It's been on for, like, 15 years?
63
00:02:15,863 --> 00:02:20,467
Oh. Um, I don't have
television down in my cave.
64
00:02:20,468 --> 00:02:22,369
Oh.
65
00:02:22,370 --> 00:02:25,053
That was a joke. I-I don't
really live in a cave.
66
00:02:28,142 --> 00:02:30,407
You're hilarious!
67
00:02:35,283 --> 00:02:36,574
I've never heard of Boston Rob.
68
00:02:36,575 --> 00:02:37,784
Thank you very much.
69
00:02:37,785 --> 00:02:39,719
Seriously? He was on Survivor?
70
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,554
Survivor All-Stars?
71
00:02:41,555 --> 00:02:43,270
Survivor Redemption Island?
72
00:02:43,271 --> 00:02:44,924
Survivor Hero vs. Villains?
73
00:02:44,925 --> 00:02:47,027
We've never seen any of the
Survivors, Forrest.
74
00:02:47,028 --> 00:02:49,368
- Mm. No.
- Survivor Marquesas?
75
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:52,395
- Oh, yes. Yeah, seen that one.
- Wasn't that great?
76
00:02:52,396 --> 00:02:54,169
We've seen no Survivors!
77
00:02:54,170 --> 00:02:56,936
- Okay!
- Slalom!
78
00:02:56,937 --> 00:02:59,556
Hey, listen. There's
more fish in the sea, right?
79
00:02:59,557 --> 00:03:01,345
Well, what makes you
think it was a bad date?
80
00:03:01,346 --> 00:03:02,876
Literally everything you said about it.
81
00:03:02,877 --> 00:03:06,057
Yeah. Long silences, awkward
conversations, no sex.
82
00:03:06,058 --> 00:03:07,584
There was never gonna
be any sex, Forrest.
83
00:03:07,585 --> 00:03:08,666
Not with that attitude.
84
00:03:08,667 --> 00:03:10,039
Okay. All right, I admit it.
85
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:11,584
We didn't exactly have chemistry,
86
00:03:11,585 --> 00:03:14,412
and she did substitute a
side salad for the coleslaw.
87
00:03:14,413 --> 00:03:16,690
- Oh, we are done with her.
- She didn't eat the coleslaw?!
88
00:03:16,691 --> 00:03:17,791
- At Edgerton's?
- She's dead!
89
00:03:17,792 --> 00:03:19,450
- Dead!
- She was very nice.
90
00:03:19,451 --> 00:03:21,819
And to be fair, uh, I'm a little rusty.
91
00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:23,514
You know, I've barely
been on a date in 20 years.
92
00:03:23,515 --> 00:03:24,539
So, who am I to judge?
93
00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:26,325
You're not going out
with her again, are you?
94
00:03:26,326 --> 00:03:27,356
Friday.
95
00:03:27,357 --> 00:03:29,215
- Oh, she's a dud!
- Why?
96
00:03:29,216 --> 00:03:31,608
She was very nice.
97
00:03:31,609 --> 00:03:36,116
Okay, nice is nice, but
nice isn't everything, Wade.
98
00:03:36,117 --> 00:03:37,532
Mm-hmm, nice is nothing.
99
00:03:37,533 --> 00:03:39,692
I'm not nice. Delia's not nice.
100
00:03:39,693 --> 00:03:40,917
I'm nice.
101
00:03:40,918 --> 00:03:42,685
Look, it's a no-pressure
thing, all right?
102
00:03:42,686 --> 00:03:45,178
We're just gonna go out,
and we're gonna have drinks.
103
00:03:45,179 --> 00:03:46,404
That's all.
104
00:03:46,405 --> 00:03:48,196
Okay. Fine.
105
00:03:48,197 --> 00:03:49,601
Mmm.
106
00:03:49,602 --> 00:03:51,260
I just got an alert on my phone
107
00:03:51,261 --> 00:03:53,886
saying that I spent $12 on Lime.
108
00:03:53,887 --> 00:03:56,150
- What's Lime?
- Oh, it's those scooters
109
00:03:56,151 --> 00:03:57,909
that people are riding
all over the place.
110
00:03:57,910 --> 00:03:59,435
Oh, yeah, people don't wear helmets.
111
00:03:59,436 --> 00:04:01,261
I'm constantly yelling
out the window at them.
112
00:04:01,262 --> 00:04:03,487
Nicely.
113
00:04:03,488 --> 00:04:05,546
Oh. Hey, everyone.
114
00:04:05,547 --> 00:04:06,738
- Hey, pumpkin.
- Hey.
115
00:04:06,739 --> 00:04:08,531
Uh, have you been on a Lime?
116
00:04:08,532 --> 00:04:12,091
Since when do you know about Lime?
117
00:04:12,092 --> 00:04:14,727
I don't. I just got
an alert on my phone.
118
00:04:16,143 --> 00:04:17,767
Right.
119
00:04:17,768 --> 00:04:20,027
Thought I turned those
alerts off on your phone.
120
00:04:20,028 --> 00:04:21,347
Why would you do that?
121
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:22,572
So she could ride a Lime.
122
00:04:22,573 --> 00:04:24,031
Please tell me you wore a helmet.
123
00:04:24,032 --> 00:04:26,190
Uh... Come on, of course.
124
00:04:26,191 --> 00:04:27,931
- Give me some credit.
- Yeah, that's a no.
125
00:04:27,932 --> 00:04:30,124
Oh, Grace, come on. You know the drill.
126
00:04:30,125 --> 00:04:32,708
I've got to know where you are
at all times, no exceptions.
127
00:04:32,709 --> 00:04:34,367
But that's an invasion of my privacy.
128
00:04:34,368 --> 00:04:35,859
You're 14 years old.
129
00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:37,638
- You don't get to have privacy.
- Okay.
130
00:04:37,639 --> 00:04:39,531
Excuse me. Just curious over here.
131
00:04:39,532 --> 00:04:41,887
Uh, do you want a serious head injury?
132
00:04:41,888 --> 00:04:42,979
Is that, like,
133
00:04:42,980 --> 00:04:44,304
what all the cool kids are doing?
134
00:04:44,305 --> 00:04:45,905
Are you, like, "Hey, dude!
135
00:04:45,906 --> 00:04:47,945
I'm rocking this subdural hematoma!"
136
00:04:47,946 --> 00:04:49,893
"Oh, no way, I'm so jelly!"
137
00:04:49,894 --> 00:04:51,942
Is it... yeah... like
that? Is it like that?
138
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:54,778
You know what? I'm
canceling your Lime account.
139
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,561
I don't know how to do that.
140
00:04:57,562 --> 00:04:59,654
You cancel your Lime
account, but do it for real,
141
00:04:59,655 --> 00:05:01,289
or else I'm gonna take your phone away.
142
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,809
Well, my night's off to a great start.
143
00:05:08,810 --> 00:05:10,465
Look,
144
00:05:10,466 --> 00:05:12,338
there is no shame in canceling a date
145
00:05:12,339 --> 00:05:14,107
- if you're just not feeling it.
- Mm-hmm.
146
00:05:14,108 --> 00:05:15,742
My sister Meg told me she saw
147
00:05:15,743 --> 00:05:17,577
her date roll up in a PT Cruiser,
148
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,746
so she went on the app and canceled him
149
00:05:19,747 --> 00:05:21,247
before he cleared the valet stand.
150
00:05:21,248 --> 00:05:25,008
And then she called an Uber,
which sadly was also him.
151
00:05:25,009 --> 00:05:27,479
Uh, well, good for her,
152
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,023
but I don't judge people that quickly.
153
00:05:30,024 --> 00:05:31,858
First dates are always awkward.
154
00:05:31,859 --> 00:05:33,693
Maybe this one will be different.
155
00:05:39,533 --> 00:05:40,800
Oh, seriously?
156
00:05:40,801 --> 00:05:43,803
Yeah, yeah. Went... went
right through my foot.
157
00:05:43,804 --> 00:05:47,040
Wow. Ouch.
158
00:05:48,042 --> 00:05:49,976
Yeah.
159
00:05:52,317 --> 00:05:53,774
Yeah, yeah, it was worse.
160
00:05:53,775 --> 00:05:55,623
Somehow, it was worse.
161
00:05:55,624 --> 00:05:57,877
Well, now you know, and you can move on.
162
00:05:57,878 --> 00:06:00,080
Yeah. I can move on. You know what?
163
00:06:00,081 --> 00:06:01,500
You're exactly right about that.
164
00:06:01,501 --> 00:06:03,535
- I can just move on.
- Mm-hmm.
165
00:06:03,536 --> 00:06:06,953
Ugh. It's Lizzie. "Last night was fun."
166
00:06:06,954 --> 00:06:08,388
Really?
167
00:06:08,389 --> 00:06:10,390
I mean, I guess she did laugh a lot.
168
00:06:10,391 --> 00:06:13,460
- Not at my jokes, but still...
- Hey.
169
00:06:13,461 --> 00:06:15,662
- You're a magnetic guy.
- Hmm.
170
00:06:15,663 --> 00:06:18,665
- Yeah, but I don't know, what do I do?
- Nothing.
171
00:06:18,666 --> 00:06:20,734
- Come on. No, come on, man.
- You do nothing, Wade.
172
00:06:20,735 --> 00:06:22,398
I'm not that kind of guy.
How about this?
173
00:06:22,399 --> 00:06:25,468
How about just, uh, "Yes, it was"?
174
00:06:26,140 --> 00:06:27,307
Done.
175
00:06:27,308 --> 00:06:29,309
There it is.
176
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:31,978
- No looking back.
- No looking back.
177
00:06:31,979 --> 00:06:34,380
- Okay.
- All right.
178
00:06:34,381 --> 00:06:36,783
Yeah, it's time to play some soccer.
179
00:06:39,854 --> 00:06:40,954
Morning.
180
00:06:40,955 --> 00:06:42,188
Morning.
181
00:06:42,189 --> 00:06:44,257
Oh, what's that?
182
00:06:44,258 --> 00:06:48,294
Oh. Uh, it's that woman
Lizzie I went out with.
183
00:06:48,295 --> 00:06:50,497
She sent me a friend request.
184
00:06:51,699 --> 00:06:53,533
You don't have to accept it.
185
00:06:53,534 --> 00:06:57,303
Yeah... that seems kind of mean.
186
00:06:57,304 --> 00:06:59,506
No reason not to be friends.
187
00:07:05,012 --> 00:07:06,980
Ah, Lizzie.
188
00:07:06,981 --> 00:07:09,763
You posted a picture
of your lunch. Cool.
189
00:07:14,655 --> 00:07:17,891
Oh, I really don't want to
play Boggle with you right now.
190
00:07:19,527 --> 00:07:22,896
Cat... catch...
191
00:07:24,498 --> 00:07:26,766
That's cute.
192
00:07:28,536 --> 00:07:30,737
Oh, come on. Uh...
193
00:07:37,144 --> 00:07:39,366
Ah, would you stop it?
194
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:40,647
- Stop!
- What?
195
00:07:40,648 --> 00:07:42,415
- Oh, you okay?
- No.
196
00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:45,309
- It's Lizzie.
- Lizzie? Lizzie the dud?
197
00:07:45,310 --> 00:07:48,658
Yes. Yes, we have been in
almost constant contact.
198
00:07:48,659 --> 00:07:50,509
- Ugh.
- Guys, I'm drowning here.
199
00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:52,397
I had no idea that dating
200
00:07:52,398 --> 00:07:53,646
was going to be this complicated.
201
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,305
When I was young, you would just go
202
00:07:55,306 --> 00:07:57,096
to a keg party at somebody's farm,
203
00:07:57,097 --> 00:07:59,683
and you would meet a girl at the bonfire
204
00:07:59,684 --> 00:08:00,728
- and start making out.
- Right.
205
00:08:00,729 --> 00:08:02,335
- Mmm.
- Next thing you know, bam.
206
00:08:02,336 --> 00:08:04,704
You're a thing. And after
a while, you would have
207
00:08:04,705 --> 00:08:06,808
some dumb fight, and she'd throw
208
00:08:06,809 --> 00:08:08,212
all your cassettes out the truck window,
209
00:08:08,213 --> 00:08:10,443
and that was it. You just moved on.
210
00:08:10,444 --> 00:08:11,511
Right.
211
00:08:11,512 --> 00:08:14,247
Right, hey, uh, quick question:
212
00:08:14,248 --> 00:08:17,592
Did you grow up inside of a
John Cougar Mellencamp song?
213
00:08:18,686 --> 00:08:21,621
- Yeah... Sort of.
- Ah. That explains that.
214
00:08:21,622 --> 00:08:24,357
Look, the whole thing, it
just happens so fast now.
215
00:08:24,358 --> 00:08:25,916
I mean, I know everything
there is to know
216
00:08:25,917 --> 00:08:28,011
about this woman. Her
rabbit has diarrhea.
217
00:08:28,012 --> 00:08:29,036
- Wow.
- Ugh.
218
00:08:29,037 --> 00:08:30,811
I mean, what do... what do I do?
219
00:08:30,812 --> 00:08:31,978
You can change your number.
220
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,667
Tell her to feed the rabbit a banana?
221
00:08:34,668 --> 00:08:35,668
What?
222
00:08:35,669 --> 00:08:36,736
Cheese?
223
00:08:36,737 --> 00:08:38,998
Guys, I don't even know
why I'm even asking you.
224
00:08:38,999 --> 00:08:41,040
You have no idea what
it's like out there now.
225
00:08:41,041 --> 00:08:42,408
Ho, ho.
226
00:08:42,409 --> 00:08:43,543
- Oh, God.
- Well...
227
00:08:43,544 --> 00:08:44,577
- God.
- What?
228
00:08:44,578 --> 00:08:47,213
- What is it now?
- She got bangs.
229
00:08:47,214 --> 00:08:49,044
She got... Well, okay.
230
00:08:49,045 --> 00:08:50,759
- Relax. Don't like it. Just don't like it.
- That's her choice.
231
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:51,817
No, Wade!
232
00:08:51,818 --> 00:08:53,497
- Oh! Why?
- Come on!
233
00:08:53,498 --> 00:08:56,656
Well, I'm-I'm sure she's probably
feeling insecure she got bangs.
234
00:08:56,657 --> 00:08:58,625
- Well, I get that.
- What?
235
00:08:58,626 --> 00:09:00,159
It's a big move.
236
00:09:04,373 --> 00:09:06,607
How can Wade say I don't know
what it's like out there?
237
00:09:06,608 --> 00:09:09,108
He's just wrong. I'm not out of touch.
238
00:09:09,109 --> 00:09:11,477
- Please. You were never in touch.
- What?!
239
00:09:11,478 --> 00:09:13,266
I could write a book on dating.
240
00:09:13,267 --> 00:09:15,378
You remember how I wooed
you with champagne?
241
00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:18,698
Wooed? You yelled at
me from across the club,
242
00:09:18,699 --> 00:09:19,824
"Yo, baby!
243
00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:21,015
I got Cristal!
244
00:09:21,016 --> 00:09:22,629
The best for the best!"
245
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:23,787
It worked, didn't it?
246
00:09:23,788 --> 00:09:25,646
Yes, it worked.
247
00:09:25,647 --> 00:09:28,306
And that's why it's going in my book.
248
00:09:28,307 --> 00:09:30,646
Wade's wrong. We know
what it's like out there.
249
00:09:30,647 --> 00:09:32,514
We were just in the
game, like, a minute ago.
250
00:09:32,515 --> 00:09:34,550
Honey, it's been 20 years.
251
00:09:34,551 --> 00:09:36,285
Oh, my God. Has it?
252
00:09:36,286 --> 00:09:37,519
Deels, are we old?
253
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,121
- No, we're not old.
- No.
254
00:09:39,122 --> 00:09:41,056
- We got our whole lives ahead of us.
- Yes.
255
00:09:41,057 --> 00:09:42,358
Just less of it.
256
00:09:42,359 --> 00:09:45,327
Aw, crap. Let's go make love right now.
257
00:09:45,328 --> 00:09:46,328
- Yes.
- Yes.
258
00:09:46,329 --> 00:09:48,297
- Yes.
- Yeah.
259
00:09:48,298 --> 00:09:49,698
Or...
260
00:09:49,699 --> 00:09:51,133
I'm listening.
261
00:09:51,134 --> 00:09:52,134
Tonight.
262
00:09:52,135 --> 00:09:53,836
- Better. Yeah.
- Yeah.
263
00:09:53,837 --> 00:09:56,035
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna put it in the shared calendar.
264
00:09:56,036 --> 00:09:59,174
Good. 'Cause you've just been served.
265
00:09:59,175 --> 00:10:00,600
You know, we'd been together two weeks,
266
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,838
and you still thought
my name was Nicole.
267
00:10:02,839 --> 00:10:04,508
- It was a loud club.
- Mmm.
268
00:10:04,509 --> 00:10:05,988
Are you getting a divorce?
269
00:10:05,989 --> 00:10:08,516
We are having an adult conversation.
270
00:10:08,517 --> 00:10:11,509
Connor's parents got a
divorce, and he got an iPad.
271
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:13,373
Well, sorry, we're very happy together,
272
00:10:13,374 --> 00:10:14,656
so you're getting nothing.
273
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:16,179
I don't know.
274
00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:18,505
- Maybe Wade is right.
- Hmm?
275
00:10:18,506 --> 00:10:20,429
I'm not in these streets
like I used to be.
276
00:10:20,430 --> 00:10:22,455
And I want to help him,
but I don't even know
277
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:24,199
what the rules are anymore.
278
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,169
You know who does?
279
00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:29,338
Please don't say my sister.
280
00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:32,374
Okay, Meg, I just want
you to talk to him.
281
00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:35,867
- Do not hit on him. Do not touch him.
- I won't.
282
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:38,247
I mean it, he's in a
very vulnerable place.
283
00:10:38,248 --> 00:10:40,382
How vulnerable?
284
00:10:40,383 --> 00:10:43,685
Meg, I do not want him
mixed up in your whole mess.
285
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:46,455
- I am not a mess.
- What's in the coffee cup?
286
00:10:46,456 --> 00:10:48,190
Coffee.
287
00:10:48,191 --> 00:10:49,558
Try again.
288
00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:50,926
Wine.
289
00:10:50,927 --> 00:10:52,061
Thank you.
290
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,512
Hey. Where's Grace?
291
00:10:58,513 --> 00:11:00,569
Ah, she insisted on staying home.
292
00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:02,538
Not sure what's going
on with her lately,
293
00:11:02,539 --> 00:11:04,773
but just trying to
give her a little space.
294
00:11:04,774 --> 00:11:06,319
Yeah, I wouldn't worry about that, man.
295
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,545
I was a bit of a loner
myself when I was her age.
296
00:11:08,546 --> 00:11:11,155
You know, but luckily,
I found speed metal,
297
00:11:11,156 --> 00:11:13,624
started getting high, and
a whole new world of colors
298
00:11:13,625 --> 00:11:14,658
opened up to me.
299
00:11:14,659 --> 00:11:17,194
- What?
- Oh, but don't worry, Wade.
300
00:11:17,195 --> 00:11:19,163
- She's nothing like him.
- Oh, no, no. Not at all.
301
00:11:19,164 --> 00:11:20,422
That's not what I was saying.
302
00:11:20,423 --> 00:11:22,982
Hey, guys. Hey, Wade.
303
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,768
Uh, you remember my sister Meg.
304
00:11:24,769 --> 00:11:26,101
She was at the game today.
305
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,394
Yeah, yeah, Meg. Hey, how you doing?
306
00:11:28,395 --> 00:11:31,755
I'm fine. So fine.
307
00:11:31,756 --> 00:11:33,080
Natalie,
308
00:11:33,081 --> 00:11:34,982
check me out.
309
00:11:37,081 --> 00:11:41,618
These things are so hot
they're illegal in ten states.
310
00:11:43,321 --> 00:11:45,189
Are you crying?
311
00:11:45,190 --> 00:11:48,058
No. I'm cool.
312
00:11:50,934 --> 00:11:53,645
Wade, honey, I'm on
all the dating sites.
313
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,900
I know what's what, okay?
And I'll tell you something.
314
00:11:55,901 --> 00:11:57,772
These women aren't just
sitting by the phone
315
00:11:57,773 --> 00:12:00,004
waiting for a Prince
Charming to call. Okay?
316
00:12:00,005 --> 00:12:01,908
Men are a commodity. Trust me.
317
00:12:01,909 --> 00:12:03,862
I'm dating three guys right now.
318
00:12:03,863 --> 00:12:05,176
Bread-crumbing another.
319
00:12:05,177 --> 00:12:07,411
And this guy that I
Caspered four guys ago
320
00:12:07,412 --> 00:12:09,380
is orbiting me.
321
00:12:09,381 --> 00:12:10,848
I'm sorry.
322
00:12:10,849 --> 00:12:12,507
- What?
- Was that even English?
323
00:12:12,508 --> 00:12:14,879
What I'm saying is don't worry, baby.
324
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,594
Just because you went
on a date with someone
325
00:12:16,595 --> 00:12:18,859
does not mean you're
in a relationship, okay?
326
00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:21,195
Boom. See, Wade?
You better listen to Meg.
327
00:12:21,196 --> 00:12:23,394
- She knows what she's talking about.
- Yeah.
328
00:12:23,395 --> 00:12:25,162
I guess it was just a couple of dates.
329
00:12:25,163 --> 00:12:27,498
- A couple?
- Uh, yeah.
330
00:12:27,499 --> 00:12:28,999
That-that's not a problem, right?
331
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,292
Okay, okay, cool.
332
00:12:30,293 --> 00:12:32,436
Just as long as you cut
it off before a third.
333
00:12:32,437 --> 00:12:34,538
Uh, there-there is a third.
334
00:12:34,539 --> 00:12:36,173
- Oh, boy.
- Uh, she invited me to
335
00:12:36,174 --> 00:12:37,708
- her friend's play.
- Ugh.
336
00:12:37,709 --> 00:12:39,642
- And you said yes?
- Well, I clicked "interested"
337
00:12:39,643 --> 00:12:42,332
on Facebook, and she called
me out on it, so yeah.
338
00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:43,847
Why are you Facebook
friends with this woman?
339
00:12:43,848 --> 00:12:45,993
Because she asked. And
she likes to play Boggle.
340
00:12:45,994 --> 00:12:47,809
Wait, you're playing Boggle with her?
341
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,587
I'm sorry, I'm too late.
342
00:12:49,588 --> 00:12:51,355
- This man's in a relationship.
- No.
343
00:12:51,356 --> 00:12:53,415
I-I was just trying
to be nice. That's all.
344
00:12:53,416 --> 00:12:55,083
And what'd we tell you
about trying to be nice?
345
00:12:55,084 --> 00:12:56,653
Okay, you were right.
346
00:12:56,654 --> 00:12:59,096
- Well, break up with her.
- I can't do that.
347
00:12:59,097 --> 00:13:00,408
Oh, for God sakes, why not?
348
00:13:00,409 --> 00:13:02,099
Because that would leave her alone.
349
00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:05,110
And that's the worst thing
that you could do to somebody.
350
00:13:05,111 --> 00:13:07,805
I know, Delia. I've been through it.
351
00:13:07,806 --> 00:13:10,417
Oh, honey, don't you
think you're projecting
352
00:13:10,418 --> 00:13:11,699
just a little bit here?
353
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:12,810
Yeah, this is not
354
00:13:12,811 --> 00:13:14,612
the same thing that happened to you.
355
00:13:14,613 --> 00:13:17,581
Yeah, well, maybe it's not,
356
00:13:17,582 --> 00:13:21,552
but I-I can't hurt someone like that.
357
00:13:21,553 --> 00:13:23,821
I just can't.
358
00:13:25,957 --> 00:13:28,751
No, no, no, Wade, maybe no
more Boggle, though, huh?
359
00:13:28,752 --> 00:13:31,377
- No, it's Grace.
- Is she okay?
360
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,722
Yeah, yeah, she's fine.
361
00:13:33,723 --> 00:13:36,467
I gotta go. Her bike has a flat tire.
362
00:13:36,468 --> 00:13:38,102
Wait, I thought she was at home.
363
00:13:38,103 --> 00:13:39,336
Yeah, so did I.
364
00:13:39,337 --> 00:13:41,405
Oh, geez.
365
00:13:41,406 --> 00:13:42,520
Poor guy.
366
00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:46,163
- Aw, he's just too nice for this world.
- Yeah.
367
00:13:46,164 --> 00:13:48,846
Ooh, I would make him so happy.
368
00:13:48,847 --> 00:13:50,105
Aw.
369
00:13:50,106 --> 00:13:51,773
Have I not been clear with you?
370
00:13:56,409 --> 00:13:58,482
Noah, did you eat your supper?
371
00:13:58,483 --> 00:14:01,218
My tummy hurts for no reason.
372
00:14:02,589 --> 00:14:05,017
Did you eat this whole
bag of red-hot nonsense?
373
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,423
And a whole thing of Sour Bombz.
374
00:14:06,424 --> 00:14:08,990
- They're not even sour to me.
- Oh, God.
375
00:14:08,991 --> 00:14:10,224
Try to get some milk in him.
376
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:11,426
Whichever end it comes out of,
377
00:14:11,427 --> 00:14:12,660
it is not gonna be pretty.
378
00:14:12,661 --> 00:14:13,819
Ben?
379
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,253
Why does Noah keep doing that?
380
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:16,915
Because he wants to impress you.
381
00:14:16,916 --> 00:14:18,349
Are you saying Noah likes me?
382
00:14:19,404 --> 00:14:21,462
He's, like, ten. Like, a young ten.
383
00:14:21,463 --> 00:14:23,548
Okay, he's not even
thinking on that level.
384
00:14:23,549 --> 00:14:26,370
- This is a prepubescent courtship ritual.
- Mm-hmm.
385
00:14:26,371 --> 00:14:27,952
- I was gonna say the same thing.
- Yeah.
386
00:14:27,953 --> 00:14:30,973
- Okay, well, that is weird and gross.
- Uh-huh, well,
387
00:14:30,974 --> 00:14:33,209
I hate to break it to you,
but the subsequent phases
388
00:14:33,210 --> 00:14:35,420
of male development aren't
much of an improvement.
389
00:14:35,421 --> 00:14:37,050
Hey, Deels, check me out.
390
00:14:37,051 --> 00:14:39,954
I'm having a food baby.
391
00:14:39,955 --> 00:14:41,522
Might be twins.
392
00:14:41,523 --> 00:14:43,958
Oh, good for you.
393
00:14:51,467 --> 00:14:54,197
Look, before you say anything,
I was wearing my helmet.
394
00:14:54,198 --> 00:14:55,636
- That's important to remember.
- Grace...
395
00:14:55,637 --> 00:14:57,138
are you out of your mind?
396
00:14:57,139 --> 00:14:59,048
Do you really think this is okay?
397
00:14:59,049 --> 00:15:01,726
Sneaking out of the house,
coming downtown to do
398
00:15:01,727 --> 00:15:02,844
God knows what.
399
00:15:02,845 --> 00:15:04,946
- You won't understand, Dad.
- No,
400
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:06,214
I probably won't.
401
00:15:06,215 --> 00:15:09,650
But just for the fun
of it, let's-let's try.
402
00:15:09,651 --> 00:15:12,053
I was just going to walls.
403
00:15:12,054 --> 00:15:13,454
Walls?
404
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:14,990
For Instagram.
405
00:15:16,892 --> 00:15:19,861
- Instagram is an app.
- I know that.
406
00:15:19,862 --> 00:15:22,630
It's the whole wall part
that I'm not getting.
407
00:15:25,487 --> 00:15:28,223
All of this just to take your picture
408
00:15:28,224 --> 00:15:29,284
in front of a wall?
409
00:15:29,285 --> 00:15:30,776
Come on, Grace, don't you
think that's a little...
410
00:15:30,777 --> 00:15:33,276
Stupid? Yes, Dad, it's stupid.
411
00:15:33,277 --> 00:15:35,176
That's why I was trying
to hide it from you.
412
00:15:35,177 --> 00:15:37,879
And, I mean, I'm sorry, it's just...
413
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,548
I mean, all the girls at
my school are doing it,
414
00:15:40,549 --> 00:15:43,584
and I know I shouldn't
care about that, but I do.
415
00:15:43,585 --> 00:15:45,186
And they're all getting likes.
416
00:15:45,187 --> 00:15:46,587
I want likes, too.
417
00:15:46,588 --> 00:15:48,823
I mean, I hate likes,
but I still want them.
418
00:15:48,824 --> 00:15:51,883
So you're-you're doing
this to be popular?
419
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:56,164
No, no, not popular. Just... normal.
420
00:15:57,399 --> 00:15:59,555
I mean, after the past year, I just...
421
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:03,905
I want to feel normal again.
422
00:16:06,542 --> 00:16:09,410
Yeah. Hey, come here.
423
00:16:11,747 --> 00:16:13,948
I get that.
424
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:17,852
I'm trying to feel normal, too.
425
00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:20,221
That's why I started dating again.
426
00:16:20,222 --> 00:16:23,824
Thought it would help me
get back to being myself.
427
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,227
Is it working?
428
00:16:26,228 --> 00:16:28,062
No, it is not.
429
00:16:28,063 --> 00:16:30,431
I went out with that
woman a couple of times,
430
00:16:30,432 --> 00:16:32,567
and then the whole thing spiraled on me.
431
00:16:32,568 --> 00:16:35,937
I know I need to get
out of it, but I can't.
432
00:16:35,938 --> 00:16:37,605
Okay, now, that's stupid.
433
00:16:37,606 --> 00:16:39,373
Well, I don't want
to hurt anyone, Grace.
434
00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:40,708
Dad, if you're unhappy,
435
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:43,444
that means Natalie and I are unhappy.
436
00:16:43,445 --> 00:16:45,413
- That hurts us.
- Hmm.
437
00:16:46,481 --> 00:16:47,915
That's a good point.
438
00:16:47,916 --> 00:16:50,251
- Right?
- Yeah.
439
00:16:50,252 --> 00:16:51,886
Don't call your dad stupid.
440
00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:54,355
- Sorry.
- Okay.
441
00:16:55,490 --> 00:16:57,658
We going home?
442
00:16:57,659 --> 00:17:00,928
Uh... not yet. Come on.
443
00:17:04,552 --> 00:17:06,901
Okay, hands a little
bit... Okay, a little bit...
444
00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:09,070
A little lower. Just,
okay, on the string.
445
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,271
Okay, all right, perfect.
446
00:17:10,272 --> 00:17:12,340
Okay, uh, carried away by mariposas!
447
00:17:14,643 --> 00:17:16,228
- Yes! You're welcome,
- Thank you.
448
00:17:16,229 --> 00:17:17,259
you're welcome. Now, here.
449
00:17:17,260 --> 00:17:19,914
Uh, I want you to-to
take a picture of me.
450
00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:21,218
- Seriously?
- Oh, hell yes. Yes.
451
00:17:21,219 --> 00:17:22,883
- You don't even have an Instagram.
- That's okay.
452
00:17:22,884 --> 00:17:24,498
I'm gonna use yours.
Your friends are gonna love it.
453
00:17:24,499 --> 00:17:25,886
- No, you're not.
- Okay, ready,
454
00:17:25,887 --> 00:17:27,655
- and...
- Oh, perfect.
455
00:17:27,656 --> 00:17:30,024
- Oh, my gosh.
- How about this?
456
00:17:30,025 --> 00:17:31,826
One where I'm jumping. Wah!
457
00:17:31,827 --> 00:17:33,861
- Oh! With the ninja jump. Yes!
- Yeah!
458
00:17:33,862 --> 00:17:35,830
All right, come on, let's
go get something to eat.
459
00:17:35,831 --> 00:17:37,448
Oh, you can put these
on Lizzie's Instagram.
460
00:17:37,449 --> 00:17:38,516
Uh, that's not funny.
461
00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:41,168
Ah, come on. Hey, uh, guys, guys.
462
00:17:41,169 --> 00:17:45,090
Uh, so, I've been
talking to Grace, and...
463
00:17:45,091 --> 00:17:46,749
she thinks that it's time that I end
464
00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:48,475
- this thing with Lizzie.
- Oh, wow. What a great idea.
465
00:17:48,476 --> 00:17:50,240
We've been telling you
this from the beginning.
466
00:17:50,241 --> 00:17:51,966
Why are you just now getting it?
467
00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:53,948
Look, however you got there, great.
468
00:17:53,949 --> 00:17:55,816
Oh, I felt a kick.
469
00:17:55,817 --> 00:17:58,361
- You got this, buddy?
- Yeah.
470
00:17:58,362 --> 00:17:59,887
Yes, yes. Uh...
471
00:17:59,888 --> 00:18:01,222
Dear Lizzie...
472
00:18:01,223 --> 00:18:02,825
- You don't write "dear" in a text.
- I know.
473
00:18:02,826 --> 00:18:05,958
I'm nervous. Hey, Lizzie,
474
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,161
how are you?
475
00:18:07,162 --> 00:18:09,469
I hope that your rabbit
is feeling better.
476
00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:10,728
Cut to the chase, Wade.
477
00:18:10,729 --> 00:18:12,816
Let me do it for you.
Watch this. Check this out.
478
00:18:12,817 --> 00:18:15,136
All right, um, dictation.
479
00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:18,658
Lizzie, it's Wade.
Regarding our recent dates,
480
00:18:18,659 --> 00:18:20,831
I regret to inform you that we're done.
481
00:18:20,832 --> 00:18:23,620
Good luck in your
future romantic ventures.
482
00:18:23,621 --> 00:18:24,912
Boom.
483
00:18:24,913 --> 00:18:28,904
Lizzie in suede regarding
your resin days arigato
484
00:18:28,905 --> 00:18:31,584
inform you that weird
one good luck in your foot
485
00:18:31,585 --> 00:18:33,535
your old robotic features.
486
00:18:33,536 --> 00:18:35,227
- I don't hate that.
- You know what?
487
00:18:35,228 --> 00:18:37,258
I can do this. I just
have to do it my way.
488
00:18:37,259 --> 00:18:38,859
- Okay? All right. Okay. Okay.
- Okay.
489
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:40,384
Oh, I hate to see him go,
490
00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:42,157
but I love to watch him walk away.
491
00:18:42,158 --> 00:18:44,441
Well, Noah's feeling better,
492
00:18:44,442 --> 00:18:46,677
but now he's bragging he's
gonna eat expired yogurt.
493
00:18:46,678 --> 00:18:48,712
He's trying to impress her.
494
00:18:48,713 --> 00:18:51,973
I'm doing it.
495
00:18:51,974 --> 00:18:53,583
I'm really gonna do it.
496
00:18:53,584 --> 00:18:56,302
Aw, look at my little man.
497
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:58,855
He's got game, just like his daddy.
498
00:18:58,856 --> 00:19:00,190
Chobani today,
499
00:19:00,191 --> 00:19:03,028
- Cristal tomorrow.
- That's right.
500
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:07,942
"But please understand that my intention
501
00:19:07,943 --> 00:19:09,397
was never to hurt you.
502
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,198
And while you undoubtedly
503
00:19:11,199 --> 00:19:13,082
will make some lucky
man very, very happy,
504
00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:16,173
I'm afraid that that
man can't be me. So...
505
00:19:16,174 --> 00:19:18,047
thank you for everything, and I hope
506
00:19:18,048 --> 00:19:19,674
that we can still play Boggle."
507
00:19:19,675 --> 00:19:21,070
- No, you can't.
- Delete that.
508
00:19:21,071 --> 00:19:22,228
"Best wishes.
509
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:24,254
May the wind always be at your back.
510
00:19:24,255 --> 00:19:27,014
- Hmm.
- Fondly, Wade F."
511
00:19:27,015 --> 00:19:29,264
Well, it's not short.
512
00:19:29,265 --> 00:19:32,291
- No, it's perfect. Don't change a word.
- Send it.
513
00:19:32,292 --> 00:19:33,386
Just send it.
514
00:19:33,387 --> 00:19:34,479
- Yeah.
- Okay.
515
00:19:35,614 --> 00:19:36,857
Okay, it's done. I sent it.
516
00:19:36,858 --> 00:19:38,758
- All right.
- Thanks, guys.
517
00:19:38,759 --> 00:19:42,086
- You're welcome.
- Oh, oh, oh, we got dots. She's writing back.
518
00:19:43,679 --> 00:19:45,784
Broken heart, broken heart,
519
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:48,044
broken heart. "I'm crushed"?
520
00:19:48,045 --> 00:19:50,170
Oh, my God, what have I done?
521
00:19:50,171 --> 00:19:51,906
What have I done? You
people are monsters!
522
00:19:51,907 --> 00:19:53,974
Then your daughter's the monster.
It was Grace's idea.
523
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:55,035
Forrest!
524
00:19:55,036 --> 00:19:56,944
Did you just throw a
child under the bus?
525
00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,462
Wait, hold up.
526
00:19:59,463 --> 00:20:00,715
We got more dots.
527
00:20:00,716 --> 00:20:03,377
Uh... "JK. LOL.
528
00:20:03,378 --> 00:20:05,018
- Just messing with you.
- Oh, God.
529
00:20:05,019 --> 00:20:06,678
I'm on a date right now.
530
00:20:06,679 --> 00:20:08,671
- Call me if you ever want to bone sometime."
- Wow. Well...
531
00:20:08,672 --> 00:20:09,896
- Oh.
- Whoa.
532
00:20:09,897 --> 00:20:11,525
That's rather forward.
533
00:20:11,526 --> 00:20:13,194
Wow. So that's...
534
00:20:13,195 --> 00:20:14,495
- that's it.
- Mm-hmm.
535
00:20:14,496 --> 00:20:16,501
She's fine. Lizzie is...
she's fine, right?
536
00:20:16,502 --> 00:20:18,199
- That's what it sounds like.
- Oh, yeah, okay. All right, she's fine.
537
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,525
I think everything is
better than fine, man.
538
00:20:20,526 --> 00:20:22,737
You're free, and you got
a bone in your back pocket.
539
00:20:22,738 --> 00:20:24,038
- Not bad.
- So that's good.
540
00:20:24,039 --> 00:20:25,423
- There you go.
- That's not bad.
541
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,115
Whoo! We call that the win-win.
542
00:20:27,116 --> 00:20:29,410
Wait a minute, Wade, you
got another text coming in.
543
00:20:30,470 --> 00:20:32,628
Oh, don't read the man's texts.
544
00:20:32,629 --> 00:20:36,957
Apparently, he has two
bones in his back pocket.
545
00:20:36,958 --> 00:20:38,692
Meg...
546
00:20:38,693 --> 00:20:40,785
- I am very flattered.
- Do not talk to her.
547
00:20:40,786 --> 00:20:44,580
Man, she will tear your pants right off.
548
00:20:44,581 --> 00:20:46,548
Look forward, Wade.
549
00:20:47,945 --> 00:20:51,092
Watch The Good Place,
all new next on Global.
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