Original subtitles

[Nat sounds]

[sniffs]

[pants]

♪

[cooing]

Hi baby.

[unintelligible]

[unintelligible]

Good morning my sweetheart. Are you ready for your day?

(Mitch) Ohh! Shht-shht. Mommy's still sleeping.

That's my girl. Come here.

[door closes]

[sigh]

♪

[cooing]

Crap.

So much crap.

What is this?

[deep breath]

No!

[sobs]

No!

What the fuck!

[sobs]

Amelia.

[baby cries]

Come on. Come here. Oh, it's OK.

[cell phone rings]

(Amelia) Zack? She okay?

No, she is not okay. What the hell, Amelia?

Oh, shit.

Did you know about this? Did you know about Danny Baker?

I'm late. I gotta call you back.

No, no, no. Don't leave me. Talk to me.

Does everybody know?

No. Not everybody knows.

I think she only told me. She loves you.

I don't even know what that means.

You're her best friend. Come home and help her fix this.

Put her on the phone.

No way. I can't. I can't even look at her.

Mitch, if you want me to come home, put her on the phone.

Okay.

[beeps]

Hang on a second.

What?

Hey, Tom, it's me. I'm on my way.

I got stuck on the highway.

(Tom) Are you kidding? You don't even have a job, Amelia.

We were supposed to meet the broker ten minutes ago.

Get your fucking shit together.

[disconnect tone]

[sigh]

[Mitch] Amelia!

Yeah, I'm here.

[Mitch] Jackie, wake up.

It's Amelia. Talk to her.

[Jackie] What?

Just get the hell up and answer the goddamn phone.

Why are you being so mean?

Guess you got the address wrong.

[baby cries]

No wonder you've been having so much anxiety.

I was going to tell you.

When were you going to tell me?

Oh, I don't know. I didn't know how.

[sobbing]

-God, Jackie. -I'm sorry.

-I feel so stupid. -I'm sorry.

Mitch, please.

I guess I'm just your sad little joke, aren't I?

Probably need one of these.

[door slams]

[sobs]

[pill bottle rattles]

Amelia.

I can't breathe.

(Amelia) I'm going to come home, okay?

Okay.

♪

Oh, shit.

♪

(Marcus) Yo, another one bites the dust, man.

This car needs a rebuild.

That's three in one week.

You got the baby?

Hey, I thought you were going to bring the baby.

Not today.

What's up, man?

You think you'll be okay if I stayed in the back

office for a few nights?

Why?

I don't want to talk about it.

Jackie just ... She really messed things up.

Can I stay or not?

Yeah, yeah, of course you can stay.

You can have my room. I got to head up to Needleton in a

few hours with old man Nicky for the Burlesque show.

You want to come?

No way.

Come on, man.

You got a hall pass.

You see your mother-in-law prancing around half naked.

Have some beers.

You can sing one of your sad songs.

Come on, man. They got me MD-ing.

[sobs]

♪

(Dina) Jackie?

Jackie? Mitch? Can you give me a hand?

Geez, what's going on? Oh, Jackie?

Oh, hi my little ginger snap.

Come here my little pumpkin head.

Oh, come to your Auntie Dina.

I got a surprise for you.

Jackie? Where are you?

What is going on?

I just got a call from Nicky.

He's on his way to the airport to pick up Amelia.

Something about her coming home to help you.

What is that about?

Mitch left me, mom.

Oh, honey.

That boy couldn't live a day without you.

This is different.

What?

Did you finally figure out there was a ginger in the woodpile?

What?

You act as if we're all a bunch of idiots.

Whatever. He'll get over it.

Listen, Nicky's picking me up here after he drops off Amelia,

taking me to a show in a limo.

Oh, I named the baby.

You named the what?

I named the baby Julia Roberts. After Julia Roberts.

What are you talking about?

I don't see you naming her.

I think that's great. Isn't it Julia?

She likes it.

[fusses]

Ooh! There's the problem. Julia Roberts pooped.

I think it's time for you to finally face the poopy.

Can you just change her, please?

Nuh-uh. I don't do poopy.

Okay.

There you go. It's called baby bonding.

Geez, what a mess.

Oh, thank God you got coffee.

I can't believe Amelia's coming home.

She hasn't been home since the funeral.

Hey, did you tell her about Nicky and me?

No.

Of all the days she had to come home.

Oh, screw it. I'm not going to let it make me nervous.

[coughs]

Honey, you're not supposed to gag at your own baby's poop.

It's like smelling your own farts.

You're supposed to like it.

Mom, will you please just help me?

Well, what do you want me to do?

I don't know.

Pass me a wipey or something.

Here you go.

How many blondes does it take to change a baby?

I don't know how I'm going to fix this, mom.

Well, in my experience if you don't know what to do,

don't do anything.

Like that's going to work.

Motherfucker.

Okay. Oh, I got you now.

(Felix) Oh, hello there, sir. Just give me on second.

(Martha) Felix, lunch is ready.

Almost done with the lawn, love. I'll be in in a minute.

Felix?

Sorry, didn't hear what you said.

Could you say that again, sir?

I'm looking for a Danny Baker.

Oh, for Danny?

Yeah. Ehm-

I have a letter for him.

Oh, you have a letter for Danny?

Yeah. I have to deliver it.

It's from the Egg Hop. Tip money from last summer.

From the Egg Hop?

Yeah, they went over their books and they realized that they

gypped him a couple of bucks.

Well, what bloody good timing.

Danny's up at school now. He left about a week ago.

But he's going to be thrilled at that.

His school?

Yes, he's up at the University of Needleton.

Needleton?

Needleton. Smart boy. Good on the old Egg Hop, hey?

You know, Danny had a great time there last summer.

I think he might've even gotten his tatty water tasted.

I- I- I have to go.

Oh, wait.

Will you bring the boy a package from us?

No.

It's just that I was heading to the post after lunch.

Really?

Please?

I guess so.

Oh, this is brilliant. Martha!

Martha!

Hey.

Hello.

Here's the package.

♪

(Amelia) Dad.

(Nick) Last time I looked.

What are you doing in a limo?

-Sweetie. -Oh, my God.

Look at you.

My big time city lawyer girl.

Yep.

You look just like her.

Look at you.

Hey, Marcus. What ...

Hey, Mel.

Hey.

Hi. What is Marcus doing here?

You think this big white whale drives itself?

You know this son of a bitch was in a coma for a year?

Two months, Nick.

Yeah, that was ten years ago and I did the settlement.

Can I take your bag?

You guys, I still don't understand why you picked

me up in a limo.

Oh, I'm going to drive Nick and-

Hey, hey, hey. Get her bag. Go on.

Came by yourself? Where's Tom?

Tom's not here, I-- [clears throat]

I'm just here to help Jackie.

I'm glad you're here.

I saw Mitch this morning and he didn't look so good, Mel.

What's going on?

I'm not really allowed to say.

Is that like a lawyer thing?

Yeah.

Sort of, yeah.

Well, come on, let's go.

[dials phone]

Hi, is Danny there?

No, no, Danny?

Okay.

No, sorry about that. Thanks.

Okay.

Ma.

(Dina) Are they here?

(Jackie) No, can you get the baby, please?

Really, Jackie?

For the love of God.

How long do these take to kick in?

No, mom, you can't have those. Those are mine.

Stop. I only had one.

I only have a few left. Don't do that.

I already did. I'm sorry. -Geez.

How many did you take? -Two.

-Two? -What, I'm nervous.

Mom.

Come on, Jackie, it's my first big show.

Julia, come to me.

Oh, yes.

Don't listen to the mean lady.

What are you going to do when you finally track down the

little sperm donor?

I don't know. I just ...

I need to feel better so I can fix this.

You should've figured that one out before you

played in the sandbox.

Figured what out?

The level of guilt, chicky. We all have a level we

can live with. Clearly you've surpassed yours.

Mom.

(Felix) The Baker House, how can I help you?

Hi, is Danny there?

Well, isn't he the popular one today?

(Martha) Who is it?

(Felix) It's for Danny. It's a girl.

Is Danny there?

He's up at the university in Needleton, love.

He's at the university of Needleton.

Who, may I ask, is calling?

Yeah, this is Jackie.

We worked together last year at the Egg Hop.

Do you, by any chance, have a number for him?

I--

I have something of his.

Here we go.

(Felix) No worries.

The delivery man from the Egg Hop already came by here today.

He did? -He sure did.

(Martha) Lovely fellow.

Was this delivery man by any chance,

driving a little yellow car?

(Felix) That's the one.

Mitch is headed to Needleton.

Of course he is.

(singing) Clean it up, clean it up, clean it up,

you've been up all night.

Make a decision, turn off the television.

Keep the lid on.

Keep the lid on tight.

You've been living in a lie.

You've been living in a compromise.

No one's buying all the lies.

No one's buying all your alibis.

They have it out for you.

♪

[deep sigh]

[sings] The television, keep the lid on.

[splat]

Dammit! Dammit!

I'm having such a bad day.

(Emily) Hey! Hey! You need to watch where you're going.

You just killed that bird.

Oh. Okay. Thank you.

Hey! Come on.

No, thank you. Don't want any. Bye.

Dude. Dude. Roll down the window.

What?

Could you give me a ride back to town?

Yeah, I don't pick up hitchhikers.

Do I look like a hitchhiker?

Yes.

Well, I'm not.

Okay, I'll take you as far as Needleton, but that's it.

Perfect.

Perfect.

My name's Emily, if you were wondering.

[car doesn't start]

What are you, some sort of singing delivery guy?

What the hell?

Guess you hit that bird pretty hard.

I'm on empty.

Oh.

Okay.

I'm having such a bad day.

So are you going to call AAA or CAA or whatever you call it?

You know what, I don't know who you are and what kind of trouble

you're in, but I don't need any more today.

If you could just go on your own way, that'd be great.

Wow.

You're a real downer, you know that?

Yup.

Well, I hope you have a better day.

Whatever.

Poor little bird.

Fuck.

Cock sucker!

Fuck.

Marcus, I'm fine.

Just doing my job.

Oh, my God.

Welcome home, honey.

What the hell happened to her?

Thank you Marcus, darling.

(Nick) Look, there's something I've been meaning to

talk to you about. It's ...

What?

(Jackie) Mr. James, I'm really sorry but we need to go

with you to Needleton.

Jackie, can you just give it a second?

What's happening?

I need to get to the university.

(Dina) Honey, you can totally say no, Nicky.

(Nick) No, it's all right. It's ...

Why are you calling my dad Nicky?

Oh, poop.

You didn't tell her.

Tell her what?

Well ...

It's been awhile, sweetheart.

It hasn't been that long.

Your mom's screwing my dad.

(Nick) Come on.

How long did you know about this?

Honestly, Amelia, I didn't think it was going to last very long.

Surprise.

So out of all the women you could choose, you choose mom's

best friend who's clearly had a mid-life crazytown crisis?

Really?

That is enough.

(Amelia) What am I even doing here?

Amelia, just stop.

I am not crazytown.

(Amelia) Why did you call me?

I didn't call you.

Mitch did.

Right.

But I really need you Meels.

Please.

I really need you right now.

What is in Needleton?

Danny Baker.

The busboy from Egg Hop.

Yeah, she knows, mom.

The ginger.

Oh, shit.

Right. Haha.

(Marcus) Oh, man.

Hey, let's put the baby seat in the car.

This is so messed up.

You really got to help me find him.

Honey, we're going to find him.

I'm not getting in the back of that limo.

You don't have to. It's kicking in.

Aww.

Hello. Hey toe.

Come on.

There's not a seat in the front.

Guy from the Egg Hop?

Really?

Get in.

Here's a pillow.

Oh, my God.

Jesus.

I'm going to put a DVD player in there. It's going to be great.

[guitar]

What a geek.

♪

[sniffs]

Oh.

Right there is good.

Oh, yeah. Right there is really good.

-Mmm. -Feel that?

-Oh, yeah. I do.

(Marcus) I just can't believe it.

I mean, they're like my heroes, okay?

It feels like the world is going to end.

Marcus, can you not talk right now?

I'm really tired.

Yeah, okay.

Are you all right? You look a little uncomfortable.

I'm totally comfortable.

I have another pillow right-- -I'm good. I'm good.

[cell rings]

Okay.

Oh, shit.

Who's that?

No one. No one. It's a work thing.

I'm in the middle of this really big case right now.

-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.

No way. What's it about?

You can answer that. I won't even listen.

I'm not getting the phone. I'm not getting the fricking phone.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Sorry. I'm sorry too. I'm just-

Shut up. Shutting up.

I'm just tired.

You know you should really wear a helmet.

Like a kiddie helmet?

Well, it's cooler than a longboard, okay?

What are you doing all the way out here on your own, anyway?

I'm celebrating my mom's birthday.

Oh, yeah? Where is she?

She died five years ago.

Oh. Dude. I'm sorry.

It's okay. I'm used to it now.

So, where are you going?

None of your business.

Okay. Wow. You are a really grumpy guy.

Yeah, well, you would be too.

Try me.

Come on.

Yeah? Okay? Fuck it. You really want to know?

Yeah.

I married my high school sweetheart.

The only woman I've ever been with.

Ouch.

No, that's not the bad part.

Please don't comment.

I'm sorry. Go on.

Okay. So, a while ago I found out that I can't have kids.

My sperm count or something. It's low.

Is it weird that I just said "sperm"?

No, it's fine.

I could have said "jizz".

"Sperm" is better than "jizz".

Anyways, everything was pretty awful for awhile.

Jacks wanted to adopt. That's my wife.

And I didn't.

Things were pretty much falling apart.

And then it happened.

Jackie got pregnant.

We had a baby.

She was my little miracle.

And then I found this this morning.

Okay?

Oh, wow.

Oh. That is messed up.

So, to answer your question,

I am going to find this motherfucker.

And you're going to, what? Beat him up, or ...

That's what I was thinking.

But you're not going to wear that, right?

Why?

I don't ...

Do you really want to face off with this guy

looking like a big kid?

Well, I don't own a suit or anything.

I'm sure we can find you one in Needleton.

Yeah. That's where he goes to school.

Holy shit.

How old is this guy?

I don't even know.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

You definitely need to show this punk motherchucker up.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah. Come on.

Okay.

Okay.

See? Aren't you glad you told me?

It's not good to keep that shit inside.

[knocking]

-Hi. -Hi.

I don't like that you're riding up here.

-I know. -I never see you anymore.

-Can you fit? -No.

-Can you come up? -Come back with me.

I don't want to. My mom is ...

Well, I mean, she's kind of sleeping, sort of, ish.

Okay, you know what? I need fresh air.

Come on, come on, come on.

Oh, Jesus Christ, what was that?

Hello, sweetheart.

Is there any booze in here?

There's a bottle of bourb back there.

Oh, yeah.

Marcus, open the freakin' thing.

Where are you going?

I need some air.

Come on. -Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Crap.

Thanks for coming, 'Mels.

To becoming old and shitty.

I really screwed things up, this time.

You know I'm not going to be able to help you, right?

This is up to you and Mitch.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah.

So, is something else going on? Other than my mom and your dad?

I left Tom.

And I lost my job in the process, so there's that.

Holy shit.

And I haven't told anybody yet.

Well, now I know.

Yeah.

To being a beautiful old and shitty person.

You know what?

This thing is making me freakin' claustro-freakin'-phobic!

Take it!

Oh, my God.

That was part of a $2,000 suit.

Oops.

♪

And then there was "Dirk", when I was 18.

And then after that it was "Truck", when I was 22.

You like those one-word names.

Well, no, I mean, don't forget "Wheezing Porno Goldfish"

when I was 25.

Right. How could anyone forget that name?

So, what are you into?

Me?

Yeah.

What's your passion?

I don't have one.

Oh, everyone has a passion.

Yeah, well, I was actually supposed to go to university

this year, but I didn't get in because they said I had

"a lack of passion". So there.

Oh, hold the boat.

I think I have an idea.

-This is a funeral home.

-Yeah. Sure is.

-What?

Oh, God. What are we doing here?

Chill.

Hello?

Is anyone here?

This is crazy.

Sshht!

Emily, come on.

Hey. Calm down.

[bell]

(Luella) Well, hello, there. Can I help you?

Hi, my name is Emily, and this is my friend...

I don't know your name.

-Mitch. -My friend Mitch.

Oh.

I know you.

You're Dougie Bryant's little girl.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Poor thing. I'm so sorry.

Yeah, that's me. Anyways, my friend here ...

He needs to pick up his uncle Bob's extra suit.

He passed away a few months back, and he was just so

destroyed that he didn't have time to come pick it up.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Well, you and everybody else.

We have a whole closet full of suits and dresses and pantsuits.

I thought you did.

Uncle Bob? -Mm-hmm.

And what was his last name, sir?

Oh.

Marley?

Marley?

Bob Marley.

Bob Marley. Wasn't he a comedian?

No. Different Bob.

Different Bob Marley? Okay.

No, I'm sorry, I don't see anything.

-Well- -Hey.

Oh, what the heck. You poor dears.

I'll get my son Teddy to show you the room.

Okay? Just hang on one sec.

Teddy?

Where is he?

Teddy!

(Teddy) What do you want? I am dressing Mrs. Birchmount.

Could you show Dougie Bryant's little girl our closet?

They're looking to pick up an uncle's suit.

There you go. Go ahead. Just follow Teddy.

Thank you.

Oh, my pleasure.

Oh, this is insane.

Sshhtt!

Miss, if you could get the door?

Oh.

I like your uniform.

Thanks.

You're a 42 regular.

Whoa.

This is bizarre.

Jackpot.

How'd you know this was here?

I didn't.

Is this where your mom's funeral was?

No, actually. She was buried back in Montreal. That's where

I was born, and we moved out here a year before she died.

Wow, looks like James Bowden was a pretty spiffy dude.

I bet they called him "Jimmy".

Jimmy Bowden.

Jimmy.

What about this one?

Oh, no, that is a good suit. Who owned it?

Marvin Price.

Yeah, okay, you should definitely try that on.

Marvin's a strong name. That'll have good juju.

Good who-woo?

Dude, just try on Marvin's suit, okay?

So, why didn't you want to adopt?

Guess I didn't want to mess up anybody's life.

So you're okay with messing them up if they're

biologically your own?

Yeah, I guess.

You know that doesn't make any sense, right?

Mm-hmm.

So, are we getting there?

Could you go any slower?

Well, how do I look?

Hey.

Oh, my God, I am having total déjà vu right now.

Did I do this?

No, you definitely didn't.

Wow, this looks great.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

-You sure? -Yeah. I'm sure.

OK.

Is it weird if I wear the suit out?

Any weirder than Teddy and Mommy?

[laughs] I guess not.

Hey, do you want this uniform?

Yes. Please.

Thank you.

Well, would you look at that.

♪

Told you so.

That is the oddest thing I've ever done.

Hey, do you think Teddy snuggles his Mommy at night?

Oh, I think so.

Thanks.

This is the first time I felt sort of normal since

I woke up this morning.

Yeah. No problem.

So, where's this university, anyways?

It is at the other end of town.

Well, I guess this is it.

Yeah.

Well, good luck.

Thanks. You too.

Bye.

Hey! Hey, wait up!

Don't you want me to show you where it is?

-Do I look lost?

-Yeah. Kind of.

-Yeah. Sure. -All right.

That would be nice.

Come by the shop, today?

Yeah, he did.

How was he?

Not good.

Look, Marcus, I know you're judging me right now,

and you probably hate me.

But really going to try to fix this.

Okay, Jacks.

I'm going to really try.

[moaning and groaning]

Oh, that's great, honey.

Oh, yeah.

Is that the spot, little kitty cat?

-Honey, that's good. -Yeah.

I like that, honey.

Oh, yeah, I do, my love bunny.

Kitty cat.

(Amelia) Seriously.

You're awake.

Dad!

Did you have a nice nap?

Jesus.

We thought you were sleeping.

Ugh!!

It stinks like vagina in here.

My yaza doesn't stink.

No, no.

Let me in!

Her yaza does not stink.

You guys suck.

Seriously, open it. Open it.

What the hell?

What?

Seriously sick shit.

Oh, God, is the baby okay?

I have no freakin' clue. Shut the thing!

What happened?

My dad is finger-banging your mom.

Oh, Jesus.

Yes, and I just saw it.

Oh, God, no.

-And it stinks. -No, no.

Okay. You gotta just try not to think about it.

How can I not think about it. I just saw it. So gross.

[laughs]

It's not funny.

You said, "it stinks".

It does a little bit.

You guys are sick.

Disgusting!

(Marcus) Hey, is that Mitch's car?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God! It's a yellow Jello!

Oh, my God. Let me out, let me out! Pull over!

What is that?

(Marcus) That's a Moose!

Oh, my God. Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!

Calm down! You're not getting out, yet!

What the fuck!

-Pull the car over! -Okay, okay!

What's going on?

Mitch? Mitch? Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Mitch?

Mitch! Mitch? Mitch!

Oh, my God, Mitch!

He's not here.

How do you know?

Well, he's not hanging. He's not here.

No, he's not here, and that's a good thing.

Where's my pill. I need my pills.

I don't know. Where'd you leave them?

-I don't know. -Where'd you put them?

-Where are my pills? -Where'd you put them?

The car. They're in the car. [wails]

You got to breathe. You got to breathe.

You got to relax. Deep breaths.

Breathe with me.

You're okay.

You're okay.

What did I do, Mom?

Honey, you did what you could.

Marc, you get that rope out of the tree.

Some lonely-heart son of a bitch'll come around here and

think it's a good idea.

(Jackie) Where's the baby?

Come on, get up. She's fine.

The baby's in the car.

I want to hold the baby.

That's a good thing, honey. That's a real good thing.

Yeah.

Come on up.

That is a good thing.

Here you go, sweetheart.

You'll be okay.

[sniffs]

So gross.

♪

Where are the dormitormies, or whatever you call them?

The dormitories are over there.

Jesus.

Well, come on.

♪

Do you even know what he looks like?

No idea.

Well, except he's probably got red hair.

Okay. Good to know.

Oh, chuck a duck.

Hmm?

Think I found him.

What?

Carrot top. Six o'clock.

You think?

Well, only one way to find out.

Wait, what? No, this is happening too fast.

Give me your guitar.

Okay.

You got this.

I do?

You'll do fine.

Okay.

You got this.

Okay.

Oh, Jesus.

You look great.

♪

Are you Danny Baker?

(Danny) Yep. That's me.

Sir?

I'm Mitchell Crawford.

Jackie Crawford's husband?

Jackie from the Egg Hop.

Oh.

Shit.

Sir.

Nice to meet you.

Is it?

Is that my dee dee?

Your what?

The blanket. It looks like my dee dee.

Oh. Yes. This is your dee dee.

And my longboard.

Yep.

Are you going to beat me up?

Danny, I think I have to.

Probably.

Come on, man. What the hell? You slept with my wife.

I know.

I'm really sorry about that.

Do you even know what happens when you sleep with somebody?

She doesn't have gonorrhoea or anything like that, does she?

No, no. Nothing like that.

Can you hurry up and hit me, or something?

I think I'm going to pee myself.

You know I have to.

I know.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, fuck it.

[punch]

Ow!

Oh, man. You okay?

Yeah, I think so. I think so.

It's okay.

So, how long you got left in here?

Three more years?

And then graduate school after that, probably.

Hopefully.

Really? There's a school for graduates?

Yeah.

And then medical school.

Wow.

That's a lot of school.

Hey, do you think I can have my dee dee now?

Oh, shit, I forgot I even had it.

Thanks.

How old are you?

Nineteen. Sir.

I'll be 20 next month.

Right.

Don't forget your board.

Oh, right. Thanks.

So, you good on that thing?

I'm all right.

You wear a helmet?

Only an idiot doesn't wear a helmet.

Good.

Sir?

I'm really sorry.

You don't have to be sorry.

Okay, I need to go, now.

Thanks for bringing me my stuff.

That was a sick punch!

Hey, hey! What happened? How'd it go?

It went fine.

It went fine? That's it?

That's all? Did you give him the letter?

Can you just give me a minute?

Okay.

You need to go darker.

Yeah. A little darker.

Yeah. Go ahead.

Right there.

I'm feeling the flutterbies.

Oh, my God.

What's wrong?

Nothing. I didn't say anything.

Just so you know, there was nothing going on with

your dad and I when your mom was still alive.

Did I ask?

Well, I'm just telling you.

Your dad is a really good man.

Coming from the over-the-hill stripper.

(Jackie) Jesus, 'Mel.

What?

Honey, let me put some makeup on you.

No, I'm okay, mom.

No, you're not okay.

You just had a nervous breakdown in the middle of nowhere.

Let me at least put some colour back in your cheeks.

No matter how bad things get,

you mustn't forget how to feel pretty.

There you go.

Come on, Mommy, we're going to be late.

Oh, please, Teddy, your nerves are giving me gas. Hang on.

Markie, isn't that one of your uniforms?

Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Pull over!

There's a guy at the funeral home wearing Mitch's uniform.

Oh, my God. Let me out. Let me out!

-Amelia! -They have to pull over!

-Just wait a minute! -They have to pull over!

Pull over, guys, come on!

(Luella) Oh, my. Wow.

(Teddy) Pretty good.

-That's a ... Whoa, watch your groin, honey.

-I'm fine. -Yeah, you sure?

(Marcus) Hey! Dude! Where'd you get that uniform?

That's my husband's uniform! Where did you get the uniform?

(Dinah) Jackie! Stop!

It's my husband's uniform!

What are you doing?

Stranger danger!

What did you do to him? Get away from my baby!

Teddy! What have you been doing?

♪

Where is he?

Why do you have his uniform on?

Stranger ... Back away! Back away! Back away!

What did you do to him?

What did you do?

Crazy! You're crazy!

What ... Hey, what ...

Who are you people? What--

He has my husband's uniform on! What did you do to him?

Bob Marley's nephew gave this to me!

You ... Just calm down, lady!

Just tell me if he's dead.

Who's dead? Bob's dead.

I don't know who you're talking about.

Come on, sweetie.

Who's Bob?

Who are you?

We just need to know how you got our friend Mitch's uniform.

What? Tell him, Mommy!

Tell him ... Well, yes, this very nice young man came in

today looking for his uncle's suit.

And he gave my Teddy these coveralls.

What did he look like?

Well, he was slim, nice, good shape, little bit balding.

-Really balding. -Kind of needed a shave.

Sounds like Mitch, Jacks.

Is he okay?

He seemed okay. A bit sad. But he was okay.

He was with Dougie Bryant's little girl. And it was so sad.

Her mother hung herself. Awful.

(Dinah) I am really sorry about my daughter.

She's had a really rough day.

Oh, well.

Well, at least not as rough as Mrs. Birchmount. [laughs]

-Mommy, you're bad. -I'm sorry.

Mrs. Birchmount is dead.

Yeah. That's okay.

She's in our basement.

-Yeah. -Okay.

This is a funeral home, which is why she's dead in our basement.

-Right. -Give them a card, dear.

Oh.

Do you not have it?

-No, no, no. No, no. -Okay, great.

There you go. Thank you. If you ever need us.

If you know any dead people, just ... We take care of them.

Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm sorry.

Okay.

It's ... It's ... I'm going to need that back.

-Oh. -But I like this.

Oh, dear God.

Who were those people?

-We have to roll up the window and lock the doors.

-I need a little gin-sy ton-sy.

Jackie, what the hell.

This is so messed up.

What am I supposed to do?

Hey, Mitch? I think I'm going to head out.

I'm supposed to ... What? What, Jackie?

Hey.

Well, good luck with everything.

Wait. What? Where are you going?

I don't know.

I didn't give him the letter.

You didn't?

He's just a kid.

A really good, smart kid.

He's going to be a doctor, as a matter of fact.

Wow.

He could probably provide for that baby way better

than I ever could.

No, I don't believe that.

What don't you believe, Emily? You don't even know me.

I know enough.

I work at a fucking go-cart track.

So what?

God, Jackie! What the fuck!

What the fuck!

Do you think she gets it, that she's changed everything?

For everyone?

Yeah, I think she probably gets it.

God, why am I even talking to you?

I don't even know you.

Seriously, who are you?

Why are you following me around?

Mitch, stop!

What is this? What are you doing to yourself?

What are you doing to yourself?

Answer me!

What is that?

Emily!

Because it helps me deal with the pain!

I thought today I'd try something different.

Shit.

My mom, she hung herself when I was 14,

and I went out there to

the tree today to try and maybe see what she felt.

I don't know, I thought maybe if I felt it I could stop the pain.

Wow.

[laughs] That's my mother-in-law.

Really?

She had an epiphany about a year ago: Quit her accounting

job and start burlesque dancing for a living.

That's like the most awesome thing I've ever heard.

-Really? -Yeah.

That pain creates passion.

You want to see what I do to ease the pain?

Come on.

What? You go to burlesque shows?

-No.

♪

(Dinah) Hi!

Hey, how you doing?

Hey, come see my show.

Jackie, come on up here.

No way, Mom.

I'm feeling the love.

Hi, guys, how you doing?

Come see the show.

Jackie, I think you just come and enjoy the show with us.

Mitch will turn up when he's ready, you know him.

Come on, how could he not?

Yeah, I know.

All right, Dinah!

Yeah!

Nicky, turn it up.

I'm working on it, sweetie.

Oh, my God, Dad. Honestly, I don't get it.

Nobody asked you to get it.

[turns volume up]

There you go. How's that, huh?

Woo!

Look, there's not a day goes by I don't miss your mother.

She was the love of my life.

This woman, her and me, we make each other laugh;

so, please just stop.

♪

Thanks for letting us help with sound check, man.

(man) Knock your sock off.

Here's the second mic.

Feel free to jump in anytime.

So, what are we doing? Because I'm not going to sing.

You say that now.

-I'm just going to do a quick light check.

So, I like to believe there's like 2,000 people out there,

right?

Rah, fake crowd noise.

Yeah?

Hello, Needleton!

I'd like to introduce you to my very good friend Emily.

Please say, "Hi" to the people. Rah.

Cut to the chase, will you? Doors open soon.

-Oh, sure. Sorry.

Rah, they love you.

♪ Whole world made of nothing.

♪ I guess, I'll hum until

♪ I feel something because I'm down until ♪

♪ I get up, and whole world made of nothing. ♪

♪ Fundamental problem comes from playing with your sores. ♪

♪ You think you find the answer to cure your cancer. ♪

♪ Now, you're bored.

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah.

♪ Whole world made of nothing.

♪ I guess, I'll hum until I feel something ♪

♪ because I'm down until I get up, ♪

♪ and whole world made of nothing. ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. ♪

Can I help you?

Okay, let's go.

Come on.

(Marcus) Son of a gun! Hey, Jackie, guess who's here.

♪ Return to your dreams,

♪ and the days turn into weeks. ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

♪ Whole world made of nothing.

♪ I guess, I'll hum until I feel something because ♪

♪ I'm down until I get up, and whole world made of nothing. ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ♪

♪ nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ♪

♪ nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ♪

♪ nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. ♪

♪ Oh, dead calm

♪ and the feelings gone and I can't find it. ♪

Woo! Yeah, 2,000 people! Thank you, thank you!

Wow.

Hi.

Hi.

I think I'm going to head out now.

No. No, don't. You don't have to go.

Emily, I'd like you to meet my wife Jackie and her baby.

Mitch.

Nice to meet you.

Get off the fucking stage.

Hey, sorry.

Who is she?

That's none of your business.

-Dude ...

What?

Can I talk to you for a minute please? Alone?

Jesus, Jackie, what did you do?

Please just talk to me.

What? What, Jackie? What?

I love you.

I'm so sorry.

I know that I screwed things up,

and I went about this in the wrong way.

I know it doesn't make any sense at all right now, but,

Mitch, I did this for you.

For us.

God, we tried so hard for so long, and you were so angry.

I just thought that if there was just a little miracle that

everything would be better.

But she's not mine Jackie.

She's yours, Mitch.

She is.

You love her.

She loves you.

No.

No, this is so messed up.

She's not mine, Jackie. She's a kid named Danny Baker's,

and he's a bright kid with a good future.

You can't just deny someone a miracle, Jackie.

You can't just pretend he doesn't exist.

It's not fair. Not to anyone.

I need you to help me figure this out.

I need you, Mitch.

We need you.

You're on your own with this one, Jackie.

This is your mistake.

You need to fix it.

She's not a mistake.

Don't ever say that again.

Give me the keys.

Give me the keys!

Give her the keys.

I'm going to go with her.

Good.

I didn't mean that.

That's not what I meant.

I know she's not a mistake.

I need a beer.

Jackie.

Jacks, let me take you.

(Marcus) What's with the suit?

What's with this bar? I can't get a fucking drink.

Hey, could I get anything on tap?

The bar's open in 10 minutes! Are you kidding me, dude?

Hey, Mitch. Hey, Mitch. Come on now.

Keep it together.

I'm a freaking deep, Nick.

(Dinah) What do you need, Mitch?

What do I need?

What do I need?

I need a wife who won't sleep with some kid to get a baby.

I need a better sperm count so none of this would have happened

in the first place!

I need that baby to be mine.

Hey,

that baby is yours.

She is yours as much as you are Jackie's,

and as much as Jackie is mine.

You don't own a child.

You guide them. You protect them.

You're there for them when they grow, and then they fly away.

So, get over this, "She's-not-mine" shit.

All you have to do is love her.

I don't know, Dinah.

I don't know if I can.

What if I mess her up?

You're going to be a fabulous father.

I know that.

Jackie knows that.

Even Danny Baker will know it.

We all know that, except you.

You're the only one, and that, my boy, is the only problem.

Now, I got to get ready for a show.

If you'll excuse me.

Marcus.

Hey, man.

I love you, bro.

[sobs]

Go get her.

Go get your family.

Okay.

(Man) Welcome to the first annual Needleton Burlesque Show!

[cheering]

Hey!

What are you doing here?

I just came to say goodbye. Don't stop for me.

It's okay.

I just ...

I'm just here because I wanted to thank you.

I think you're such a cool guy.

Can I see your wrist?

Why?

Trust me.

It's okay.

Okay.

I usually write my reminders on my hands,

but this makes more sense.

Don't do this anymore.

You got to feel it.

When our next act wore his wolf suit, his mother didn't call

him, "Wild Thing," his mother called him, "Fuzzy Wuzzy."

(Dinah) Oh, God, help me.

Hi.

Can I talk with you?

Want to sit down?

Is she ...

Oh, God, I don't feel so good.

It's okay, just breathe.

I wrote you this letter a long time ago,

but it got returned.

So, you did this on purpose?

Are you going to tell my dad?

-We're not going to do anything you don't want us to do, buddy.

I know it's a lot to drop on you all at once.

What's ... What's her name?

We actually don't have one yet.

I always kind of liked the name Skyler.

♪

[applause]

Fuzzy Wuzzy.

Wasn't very fuzzy. Well, a little fuzzy.

(Dinah) Marcus?

Hang tight.

Is this seat taken?

It's all yours.

Sorry.

Honest Injun, how do I look?

Fucking hot!

Good. Make it big for Nicky.

OK.

Ladies and gentlemen, our next act, and climax of the evening,

is not only my personal hero, the star of my first wet dream,

the one, the only, Dinah Starlights.

Yes!

Woo!

I love it!

Oh, my God, she's beautiful.

To old times, Amelia. Old times.

Old times.

♪

Alright, let's get out of here. -We got to get to the dance.

-Yes, OK. I'm driving again?

-I'm in the back. -OK.

Oh God, help me.

-That lady looked like Dinah Starlight.

-Yes. -Just like her.

-She did. She was very attractive.

-I thought so. -I thought so too.

-Oh mummy? -What?

-You like the ladies now? -Stop it!

Don't be so stupid. Cut!