Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

- Brand new pants.

- What can I say?

- I'm not complaining.

- That was pretty fucking hot.

- So you are, you're clean right?

- No, I'm positive.

I thought I told you that.

- What the fuck?

- I'm on my last bout of penicillin from chlamydia.

I thought I told you that.

- Are you kidding?

- I just got a couple more days on the antibiotics.

You should be fine.

- Seriously dude.

What the fuck?

- Of course I'm drug and disease free, you fucking idiot.

- That's not even funny to joke about.

- Well, I told you I'm an asshole.

- Would you ever consider something

a little more long term?

- I think I am considering it.

But if we're being honest here,

I do know one thing for sure.

I don't think I could ever give up pussy.

- Nobody said you have to give up anything.

- And you don't think that would be cheating on your wife?

- You've got a point.

- How much?

What's he mean how much?

I'm not fucking paying him.

- He's not asking for money.

He wants to know how much you're gonna charge him

to let him suck your dick,

and swallow your load.

- No way, dude.

No way, he's too old.

- For money?

You couldn't let this guy suck your dick for money?

- Hell no, man.

No, I'm not gonna take this guy's money.

Jesus, I'm just looking for a guy to suck my dick

just once so I can find out how it feels.

I'm not a fucking prostitute.

And I'm not gonna do it with someone that old and ugly.

- He's not that old.

And I could sure use the money right now, that's for sure.

I'll charge him.

Here, give me your phone.

I'm gonna take the dick picture, look away.

- Oh, geeze.

- No anal.

- Okay.

So you don't want me to touch it?

Or, you don't want anything inside it?

- Nothing inside, it's a one way street.

- Okay, fair enough.

- And if it's not happening naturally,

don't try to make it happen.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- If I don't have a hard on and you're working on it,

and it's not happening, then it's not happening.

- Okay, here's the deal, dude.

I'm not paying you 150 bucks to give you

a massage for nothing to happen.

If you can't get it up and come,

then it's free.

- I agree to those terms.

- Cool.

- So.

- So go back out, knock on the door,

and just pretend that I'm your physical therapist,

and you're my client.

- Should I be limping, and stuff?

- Yeah, that would help.

- Alright.

(knocks on door)

Hi. - Hi.

- Oh, I forgot the doctor's note.

Should I go back and get a doctor's note?

- Let's just see.

So how's that feel?

- That feels good.

- And here?

How's that, good?

- It feels really amazing.

But it's actually the other leg.

- Oh dear, sorry.

- That's alright, man.

It's all good.

- You know what?

Let's have you jump up here on the table.

- Should I take these off first?

- No, leave 'em on for now.

- I'm gonna take 'em off, anyway.

(upbeat music)