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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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You wish to acquire a
company called Sliceline?
3
00:00:07,827 --> 00:00:10,261
I will be taking on a
total engineering team
4
00:00:10,262 --> 00:00:11,627
of about 50.
5
00:00:11,628 --> 00:00:13,628
I just have to go back into my office.
6
00:00:19,928 --> 00:00:22,267
Well we thought the best
way to introduce the PiperNet
7
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would be through the eight developers.
8
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I have been cooking
up a killer new game.
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The Gates of Galloo.
10
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We put this thing on PiperNet...
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Bam, 80,000 instant users.
12
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Partnering with a company of that size,
13
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this early, would put us months ahead.
14
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Knock 'em dead, Richard.
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Whatever you are doing, stop it now.
16
00:00:43,541 --> 00:00:46,880
Um, yeah, we're just high-fiving.
17
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Bye.
18
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:51,470
You need to make a
deal with my companies.
19
00:00:51,471 --> 00:00:54,090
Taking existing companies
and just calling them new
20
00:00:54,091 --> 00:00:55,890
isn't sophisticated, that's theft.
21
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So they're manufacturing phones
22
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and signing them onto our network.
23
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Why would they wanna help us?
24
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They're not helping us,
they're attacking us.
25
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- It's the 51 percent attack.
- I'm sorry, what?
26
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A 51 percent...
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We've been exploring the viability
28
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of an acquisition with Amazon.
29
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You expect me to work for Jeff Bezos?
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No way.
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I happen to know that
they fucked you over.
32
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How would you like to fuck them back?
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I need you to attack me.
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- A second attack.
- Yes.
35
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Boom, you just got 80,000 new users.
36
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Colin, you did it, you saved us.
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Gilfoyle, the patch.
38
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Bombs away.
39
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Oh, my God. These are our new offices?
40
00:01:37,341 --> 00:01:38,891
We're actually right through here.
41
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What do you guys think?
42
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Do you want to see the second floor?
43
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There's another floor? Okay.
44
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Whoa.
45
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I know, it's exciting, right?
46
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Here we are, right here to the left.
47
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I like your tie.
48
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Oh, thank you. I tied it myself.
49
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Oh...
50
00:02:14,471 --> 00:02:16,471
Okay. Well, good luck.
51
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Mr. Hendricks, thank you for being here.
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For the last three hours,
we've been asking
53
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some prominent members of your industry
54
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questions about the security
of their users' data.
55
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And while the gentlemen from
Facebook, Google, and Amazon
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have acknowledged some
egregious lapses in the past...
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And Hooli, sir. Hooli also acknowledged
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some spectacular lapses.
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Yes.
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As I was saying,
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these fine folks have
been assuring us all that
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their oversights are behind them,
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and that they are the best people
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to protect their users' privacy.
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But my colleague, Senator Shizaki
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of the great state of Hawaii,
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suggested that you might
have a different view.
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Senator?
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Thank you, Chairman Hubbard.
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Mr. Hendricks and his
company, Pied Piper,
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are developing a pilot
program to deliver
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wireless Internet to my constituents
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on the island of Maui.
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I have asked him to deliver
a statement here today.
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Mr. Hendricks?
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Yes.
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Mr. Hendricks, now would be
the time for that statement.
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Okay.
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00:03:40,892 --> 00:03:43,271
I probably should've
gotten these out before.
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He looks like a child
in a custody hearing.
81
00:03:46,282 --> 00:03:48,111
But, like, you don't feel sorry for him.
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You just want him to go away
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and not have any parents at all.
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Hello, I am Richard
Hendricks, CEO of Pied Piper.
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There you go.
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- Eye contact.
- I'm proud to tell you
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that we are working
with Senator Shizaki...
88
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- Good.
- ... on developing the first step
89
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in providing a new type of Internet
90
00:04:04,752 --> 00:04:06,921
to the world. Oh...
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00:04:06,922 --> 00:04:09,171
Hold on.
92
00:04:09,172 --> 00:04:10,631
Uh, basically,
93
00:04:10,632 --> 00:04:13,681
it-it is a program...
94
00:04:13,682 --> 00:04:15,641
that i-i-it's kinda...
95
00:04:15,642 --> 00:04:19,431
Actually, can I pace? I-I
just think better on my feet.
96
00:04:19,432 --> 00:04:21,811
So, a lot of people...
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Mr. Hendricks!
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Speak into the machine!
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00:04:26,942 --> 00:04:28,442
Oh! Okay.
100
00:04:30,612 --> 00:04:33,201
I'm sorry. Does this come out?
101
00:04:33,202 --> 00:04:34,741
Perfect.
102
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:36,441
- Fuck.
- Okay, so,
103
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,451
these people up here, right?
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00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:41,462
You want to rein them in, but you can't.
105
00:04:42,122 --> 00:04:46,961
Uh, Facebook owns 80%
of mobile social traffic.
106
00:04:46,962 --> 00:04:50,171
Google owns 92% of search,
107
00:04:50,172 --> 00:04:51,721
and Amazon Web Services
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is bigger than their next
four competitors combined.
109
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And they will be even more robust
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once the Hooli merger is complete.
111
00:04:59,359 --> 00:05:01,521
Ah, see! Look, there!
112
00:05:01,522 --> 00:05:03,641
Even Hooli can't
survive these monopolies.
113
00:05:03,642 --> 00:05:05,981
No one can!
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00:05:05,982 --> 00:05:08,321
They track our every move,
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they monitor every moment in our lives,
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and-and they exploit
our data for profit.
117
00:05:14,992 --> 00:05:18,031
And you can ask them
all the questions you want,
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but they're not gonna
change, they don't have to.
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These companies are kings,
120
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and they rule over kingdoms far larger
121
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than any nation in human history.
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They won, we lost.
123
00:05:31,512 --> 00:05:32,841
So, why are you here?
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Because look at where we are.
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Yeah?
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- We are in the seat of the US government...
- Mr. Hendricks?
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I'm okay. I've got it now.
128
00:05:39,182 --> 00:05:41,351
We are in the seat of the US government,
129
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a government that was founded by people
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who were, at one point, ruled
by kings they couldn't overthrow.
131
00:05:47,652 --> 00:05:49,731
So, what did they do,
right? They started over.
132
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They came here, to the New World.
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World 2.0, version 1776.
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00:05:55,702 --> 00:05:56,911
And the way we win
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00:05:56,912 --> 00:05:59,911
is by creating a new,
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democratic, decentralized Internet,
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00:06:02,582 --> 00:06:06,331
one where the behavior
of companies like this
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00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:09,291
will be impossible, forever.
139
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One where it is the users,
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not the kings,
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00:06:13,012 --> 00:06:15,171
who have sovereign
control over their data.
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00:06:15,172 --> 00:06:18,051
This, I promise to you: I
will help you end this tyranny
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by building an Internet that is
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of the people, by the
people, and for the people,
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so help me God.
146
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Yeah!
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Whoo!
148
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Whoa!
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♪ Silicon Valley 6x01 ♪
Artificial Lack of Intelligence
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No, Mike, I just...
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00:06:54,552 --> 00:06:56,421
- Huh? There he is!
- Uh...
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00:06:56,422 --> 00:06:57,921
King slayer! How was it?
153
00:06:57,922 --> 00:06:59,761
- Good. I-I... I, um...
- You can go.
154
00:06:59,762 --> 00:07:01,931
- I got it...
- Yeah, I mean, I think it went pretty well.
155
00:07:01,932 --> 00:07:03,311
I mean, you saw it, right?
156
00:07:03,312 --> 00:07:04,771
Of course, but I-I-I want to hear
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you tell me everything, every detail.
158
00:07:07,774 --> 00:07:09,047
Holden...
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00:07:09,048 --> 00:07:11,808
The man just got off the
plane, give him some space!
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00:07:14,112 --> 00:07:15,531
Jesus...
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00:07:15,532 --> 00:07:18,111
Okay, so you touch down at Dulles,
162
00:07:18,112 --> 00:07:20,031
you turn off airplane mode, and then...
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00:07:20,032 --> 00:07:22,121
Well, actually, we flew
through Reagan National.
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00:07:23,202 --> 00:07:25,291
Reagan? But you love trams.
165
00:07:25,292 --> 00:07:26,661
Well...
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00:07:26,662 --> 00:07:28,911
See, this is why I should
still be handling your travel.
167
00:07:28,912 --> 00:07:30,671
Oh, don't worry about
it, Jared, you're busy.
168
00:07:30,672 --> 00:07:32,291
I'm never too busy for you.
169
00:07:32,292 --> 00:07:35,230
But let's... let's not get
caught up in that, right?
170
00:07:35,231 --> 00:07:39,261
- Right.
- We're here now, and we're walking,
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00:07:39,262 --> 00:07:41,221
and we're talking.
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I mean, take it all in, my friend.
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00:07:43,182 --> 00:07:44,601
Look at all this.
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Can you believe we began
our journey way back...
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in that little living room
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00:07:49,642 --> 00:07:51,311
in the hostel?
177
00:07:51,312 --> 00:07:54,691
And just yesterday, you
addressed our nation's most
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00:07:54,692 --> 00:07:56,861
hallowed, powerful legi...
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00:07:56,862 --> 00:08:00,571
Surprise!
180
00:08:00,572 --> 00:08:03,491
♪ Too legit too legit to quit ♪
181
00:08:03,492 --> 00:08:04,911
♪ Too legit... ♪
182
00:08:04,912 --> 00:08:07,871
Anyway, like I was saying out there,
183
00:08:07,872 --> 00:08:10,501
we started out in that little
hostel, just a couple of kids.
184
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- Yeah.
- Right?
185
00:08:12,296 --> 00:08:14,501
- And now...
- You killed it, Richard!
186
00:08:14,502 --> 00:08:17,091
Way to punch big tech in the dick!
187
00:08:17,092 --> 00:08:19,162
I was just gonna say,
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let's... let's take a moment
to let it soak in, right?
189
00:08:21,972 --> 00:08:24,261
- Look what you've built!
- Uh-huh.
190
00:08:24,262 --> 00:08:27,352
Okay, I'll let you go
now! Enjoy the party!
191
00:08:28,352 --> 00:08:30,891
Your compression
algorithm was the stardust!
192
00:08:32,892 --> 00:08:34,441
Hey, Richard! Richard!
193
00:08:34,442 --> 00:08:36,361
Come here.
194
00:08:36,362 --> 00:08:37,401
Stand here.
195
00:08:37,402 --> 00:08:41,031
Congratulations from Team Dinesh!
196
00:08:41,032 --> 00:08:42,361
Yeah.
197
00:08:45,912 --> 00:08:48,372
♪ It's Aloha Friday! ♪
198
00:08:48,952 --> 00:08:52,332
♪ I'm going to Hawaii! ♪
199
00:08:53,042 --> 00:08:54,881
- Okay, um...
- ♪ Bah-doopy-doo! ♪
200
00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,381
Congratulations.
201
00:08:56,382 --> 00:08:58,881
♪ Bah-doopy-doopy-doopy doo! ♪
202
00:08:58,882 --> 00:09:02,221
- ♪ It's Aloha Friday! ♪
- Uh...
203
00:09:02,222 --> 00:09:06,011
♪ Setting up the island's
first decentralized Meshnet ♪
204
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:08,511
Uh, "You...
205
00:09:08,512 --> 00:09:09,931
licked ass?"
206
00:09:09,932 --> 00:09:12,061
- What?
- "You dicked ass"?
207
00:09:12,062 --> 00:09:14,391
- I-I dicked ass?
- Kicked ass!
208
00:09:14,392 --> 00:09:15,441
- Kicked!
- Oh.
209
00:09:15,442 --> 00:09:17,061
Why were those your first two guesses?
210
00:09:17,062 --> 00:09:18,725
Gabe, what the fuck?!
211
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,731
- You're the K! Where's the K?
- K's right there.
212
00:09:20,732 --> 00:09:23,241
- Kicked has two Ks!
- Hey.
213
00:09:23,242 --> 00:09:24,781
- Ha.
- That's for you.
214
00:09:24,782 --> 00:09:26,871
Oh, uh, I'm trying to
get some work done today.
215
00:09:26,872 --> 00:09:28,742
I-I just wanted to toast.
216
00:09:29,372 --> 00:09:30,622
Okay. So...
217
00:09:31,292 --> 00:09:32,751
Don't worry, it's short.
218
00:09:32,752 --> 00:09:34,041
The word companion
219
00:09:34,042 --> 00:09:35,961
derives from the Latin word
220
00:09:35,962 --> 00:09:37,831
"panis" for bread,
221
00:09:37,832 --> 00:09:40,001
and while I can no longer digest bread,
222
00:09:40,002 --> 00:09:42,841
- I know that you leaven my life...
- Richard!
223
00:09:42,842 --> 00:09:44,131
Hey, man, you got a second?
224
00:09:44,132 --> 00:09:46,931
Uh, yes, Colin. No, I do. Um...
225
00:09:46,932 --> 00:09:49,891
Sorry. Okay. Uh, cheers.
226
00:09:49,892 --> 00:09:52,561
Saw you on TV. You crushed it.
227
00:09:52,562 --> 00:09:54,731
That king shit was on point, man.
228
00:09:54,732 --> 00:09:57,272
- I fucking love kings.
- Oh, yeah.
229
00:09:59,112 --> 00:10:01,401
So listen, um, did they swear you in?
230
00:10:01,402 --> 00:10:04,111
Like, pull the whole
Johnny Law routine with you?
231
00:10:04,112 --> 00:10:05,241
Were you under oath?
232
00:10:05,242 --> 00:10:06,321
Uh, no.
233
00:10:06,322 --> 00:10:07,952
Cool! Well, that's a weight off.
234
00:10:08,532 --> 00:10:09,951
- Why?
- Well,
235
00:10:09,952 --> 00:10:12,991
you said all that stuff about
not collecting user data.
236
00:10:12,992 --> 00:10:16,121
- Yes?
- But we are.
237
00:10:16,122 --> 00:10:18,081
- I am.
- What?
238
00:10:18,082 --> 00:10:19,631
But I'm doing the right thing now
239
00:10:19,632 --> 00:10:21,355
by telling you, so I feel like...
240
00:10:21,356 --> 00:10:22,711
I-I'm sorry, Colin.
241
00:10:22,712 --> 00:10:24,671
How long have you been
collecting user data?
242
00:10:24,672 --> 00:10:26,761
Sorta... the whole time.
243
00:10:26,762 --> 00:10:28,942
But it's just to improve
244
00:10:28,943 --> 00:10:31,351
the quality of my gameplay.
I'm not using it to sell ads.
245
00:10:31,352 --> 00:10:33,181
It doesn't fucking matter.
246
00:10:33,182 --> 00:10:36,481
It goes against the principles
of this company. I mean...
247
00:10:36,482 --> 00:10:38,351
Shit, I just lied to Congress.
248
00:10:38,352 --> 00:10:39,393
No.
249
00:10:39,394 --> 00:10:42,611
You said a lie to Congress,
250
00:10:42,612 --> 00:10:45,571
but you didn't know
at the time, I guess.
251
00:10:45,572 --> 00:10:48,152
Don't beat yourself up about it, huh?
252
00:10:48,992 --> 00:10:51,281
But going forward,
maybe stop saying that.
253
00:10:51,282 --> 00:10:52,991
Are you fucking kidding me?
254
00:10:52,992 --> 00:10:55,161
Or do say it. I don't care.
255
00:10:55,162 --> 00:10:57,031
Maybe it'll be like Google
saying "Don't be evil",
256
00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:59,272
or Facebook saying "I'm
sorry, we'll do better",
257
00:10:59,273 --> 00:11:02,537
or me saying "Gates of Galloo
does not leave your headset mic open
258
00:11:02,538 --> 00:11:04,251
and record everything you say. Suck it."
259
00:11:04,252 --> 00:11:05,921
Sweet fucking shit.
260
00:11:05,922 --> 00:11:09,373
A-a-are you... bugging
people and storing
261
00:11:09,374 --> 00:11:11,140
their private conversations
on my network?
262
00:11:11,141 --> 00:11:13,140
Colin! This stops, now.
263
00:11:13,141 --> 00:11:14,440
It would really be better for me
264
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:16,440
if you just stopped lying about it,
265
00:11:16,441 --> 00:11:18,086
'cause the game's pretty boss.
266
00:11:18,087 --> 00:11:19,346
No, no. I'm the boss,
267
00:11:19,347 --> 00:11:22,466
and I'm telling you
that this is over, Colin.
268
00:11:22,467 --> 00:11:24,727
- It's done.
- Agree to disagree.
269
00:11:25,387 --> 00:11:27,096
I'm glad we had this talk.
270
00:11:27,097 --> 00:11:29,646
Can't believe I was so nervous.
271
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,317
Congratulations.
272
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:36,316
Okay.
273
00:11:36,317 --> 00:11:37,696
Oh, Richard! Hey.
274
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,656
This is Sam Liccardo,
the mayor of San Jose.
275
00:11:40,657 --> 00:11:42,196
There's a major fucking problem.
276
00:11:42,197 --> 00:11:44,277
Just meet me in my office
in two minutes. Act normal.
277
00:11:45,157 --> 00:11:47,457
Sorry, just excuse me for a second.
278
00:11:50,523 --> 00:11:51,692
Hey, Jared!
279
00:11:51,693 --> 00:11:53,772
Hey, Tracy!
280
00:11:53,773 --> 00:11:57,050
- How's my favorite human resource?
- I'm fine, thanks.
281
00:11:57,051 --> 00:11:58,994
Did anyone mention our
plan to move your office?
282
00:11:58,995 --> 00:12:01,235
We're thinking about putting you
closer to biz dev and marketing.
283
00:12:01,236 --> 00:12:04,244
But that's... all the way
back in the Hamelin Wing.
284
00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:05,824
Yeah! Follow me, I'll show you.
285
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,354
Um... Okay, it's just,
286
00:12:08,355 --> 00:12:11,314
that's a little far from...
from Richard's office.
287
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:13,444
Yes, but you really don't have any
288
00:12:13,445 --> 00:12:15,244
day-to-day business
with Richard anymore.
289
00:12:15,245 --> 00:12:17,704
I mean, we were just
walking and talking before.
290
00:12:17,705 --> 00:12:20,689
Oh. Looks like they're having
a meeting. I should probably...
291
00:12:20,690 --> 00:12:22,374
It's just better for office cohesion
292
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,164
if you sit near your direct reports,
293
00:12:24,165 --> 00:12:26,624
and that is biz dev and marketing.
294
00:12:26,625 --> 00:12:28,254
Yeah, no, you mentioned that. It's...
295
00:12:28,255 --> 00:12:31,214
it's an interesting idea,
but I just think that, um,
296
00:12:31,215 --> 00:12:32,634
I think we should
check with Richard first
297
00:12:32,635 --> 00:12:34,594
'cause I think he's gonna
want me a little bit closer.
298
00:12:34,595 --> 00:12:36,424
Of course. It's subject to his approval.
299
00:12:36,425 --> 00:12:38,111
- Okay.
- I've already emailed him.
300
00:12:38,112 --> 00:12:40,501
I think once you see the
conference room suites though,
301
00:12:40,502 --> 00:12:41,644
you'll really fall in love.
302
00:12:41,645 --> 00:12:44,144
- Okay. Yeah.
- Just right through here.
303
00:12:44,145 --> 00:12:46,435
Well, I don't fall in love with rooms.
304
00:12:47,395 --> 00:12:50,654
So, how do we get rid of this fucker?
305
00:12:50,655 --> 00:12:53,154
Look, Richard, I don't like
this any more than you do,
306
00:12:53,155 --> 00:12:55,284
but we can't get rid of Colin.
307
00:12:55,285 --> 00:12:57,904
He's our most profitable
developer by far.
308
00:12:57,905 --> 00:12:59,954
- So what? We have other developers.
- We do,
309
00:12:59,955 --> 00:13:01,824
but they're all entangled with Galloo!
310
00:13:01,825 --> 00:13:04,624
We worked really hard to build
a whole ecosystem around it.
311
00:13:04,625 --> 00:13:06,544
It's like if you cancel a
Warriors game, you're not just
312
00:13:06,545 --> 00:13:09,004
hurting the team, but you're also
hurting the parking attendants,
313
00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:11,124
and the T-shirt guys,
and the concessions.
314
00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:12,924
Okay. Thank you, Monica,
315
00:13:12,925 --> 00:13:15,844
for putting it into an analogy
that will resonate with me.
316
00:13:15,845 --> 00:13:17,465
- Football.
- It's basketball.
317
00:13:18,095 --> 00:13:20,974
- No, I know.
- Losing him is no longer a simple thing.
318
00:13:20,975 --> 00:13:23,644
So, what are you saying?
We just do nothing?
319
00:13:23,645 --> 00:13:25,354
Richard, he's not selling ads.
320
00:13:25,355 --> 00:13:27,774
He's just using it to optimize
the performance of his game.
321
00:13:27,775 --> 00:13:30,608
It's actually a fairly
elegant implementation.
322
00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:32,002
What?
323
00:13:32,003 --> 00:13:33,406
What?!
324
00:13:33,407 --> 00:13:35,694
Hiroshima was an elegant implementation.
325
00:13:35,695 --> 00:13:38,234
- I don't think anyone agrees with you on that.
- No, I'm saying,
326
00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:40,864
just because it's successful,
doesn't mean it's good.
327
00:13:40,865 --> 00:13:43,074
I mean, it goes against
everything we stand for.
328
00:13:43,075 --> 00:13:44,954
I mean, if we start
collecting personal data
329
00:13:44,955 --> 00:13:46,914
"just for the good stuff",
I mean, next thing we know,
330
00:13:46,915 --> 00:13:48,414
- we're fucking Facebook.
- Well,
331
00:13:48,415 --> 00:13:51,504
for the record, I would not
mind being fucking Facebook.
332
00:13:51,505 --> 00:13:55,004
No. We gotta kick him off, okay?
There are 500 people out there
333
00:13:55,005 --> 00:13:57,464
who believe in this company's
ethics and standards.
334
00:13:57,465 --> 00:13:59,924
There are 532 people out there,
335
00:13:59,925 --> 00:14:02,054
and someone has got to pay for them.
336
00:14:02,055 --> 00:14:03,684
Right now, it's Colin.
337
00:14:03,685 --> 00:14:05,384
Ditching him would be too complicated.
338
00:14:05,385 --> 00:14:07,264
You know what's not too complicated?
339
00:14:07,265 --> 00:14:08,882
Hawaii. In Hawaii,
340
00:14:08,883 --> 00:14:11,103
aloha means hello and goodbye.
341
00:14:11,104 --> 00:14:12,944
They use the same
word to mean two things
342
00:14:12,945 --> 00:14:14,314
that are the exact opposite.
343
00:14:14,315 --> 00:14:16,444
That's awesome, and I
have a chance to go there
344
00:14:16,445 --> 00:14:18,904
as long as Colin is on our network.
345
00:14:18,905 --> 00:14:20,235
Aloha.
346
00:14:21,615 --> 00:14:24,824
So, Colin betrays us
and we just tolerate it?
347
00:14:24,825 --> 00:14:26,374
Great.
348
00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:28,874
This is the cost of working
with humans, Richard.
349
00:14:28,875 --> 00:14:30,205
They suck.
350
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,674
Gavin, after months
351
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,214
of protracted negotiations,
352
00:14:37,215 --> 00:14:38,674
I'm happy to say that we've come
353
00:14:38,675 --> 00:14:40,288
to final terms on our sale to Amazon.
354
00:14:40,289 --> 00:14:41,992
Merger. Continue.
355
00:14:41,993 --> 00:14:44,934
Amazon has agreed to no layoffs,
and they'll even provide
356
00:14:44,935 --> 00:14:47,394
retention bonuses for
a period of two years.
357
00:14:47,395 --> 00:14:49,264
Uh, what about my role?
358
00:14:49,265 --> 00:14:51,104
No change. Essentially,
you'll still have
359
00:14:51,105 --> 00:14:53,854
complete discretion over
all of your divisions
360
00:14:53,855 --> 00:14:55,564
exactly as you enjoy right now.
361
00:14:55,565 --> 00:14:57,404
Full executive privileges.
362
00:14:57,405 --> 00:14:59,904
Perksssss...
363
00:14:59,905 --> 00:15:02,730
Well, congratulations, Team Hooli!
364
00:15:02,731 --> 00:15:05,114
Oh, um, about that.
365
00:15:05,115 --> 00:15:07,244
Uh, that was their
one major stipulation.
366
00:15:07,245 --> 00:15:10,457
From this point on, all of our
properties will be rebranded.
367
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:12,925
- As... as what?
- As Amazon!
368
00:15:12,926 --> 00:15:14,834
What?
369
00:15:14,835 --> 00:15:15,925
Hoover!
370
00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:19,594
Bezos wants to just erase
the Hooli name from history?
371
00:15:19,595 --> 00:15:22,424
Mr. Bezos simply felt
that the Hooli name had...
372
00:15:22,425 --> 00:15:24,674
What were his exact words?
373
00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:26,435
Um "A...
374
00:15:27,305 --> 00:15:28,475
stink."
375
00:15:29,805 --> 00:15:31,224
Hoover, goddammit! Stop it!
376
00:15:31,225 --> 00:15:33,774
You can't just threaten
people with violence.
377
00:15:33,775 --> 00:15:35,605
Go stand over there.
378
00:15:37,945 --> 00:15:41,234
You tell Bezos we keep the Hooli name,
379
00:15:41,235 --> 00:15:44,114
or he can go fuck himself
with his rocket ship.
380
00:15:44,115 --> 00:15:45,404
What is Amazon anyway?
381
00:15:45,405 --> 00:15:47,454
Is it a river? Is it a giant woman?
382
00:15:47,455 --> 00:15:49,244
It's not clear. No.
383
00:15:49,245 --> 00:15:51,374
We keep the name Hooli.
384
00:15:51,375 --> 00:15:53,084
- That's a deal breaker.
- Gavin,
385
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:57,004
is not Hooli more than simply a name?
386
00:15:57,005 --> 00:15:59,115
Is-is it not the culture and the...
387
00:15:59,116 --> 00:16:00,964
great products? The liberal...
388
00:16:00,965 --> 00:16:03,054
private aviation policy?
389
00:16:03,055 --> 00:16:05,134
- No.
- You know that the board
390
00:16:05,135 --> 00:16:07,134
- has decided to sell, right, Gavin?
- You know what?
391
00:16:07,135 --> 00:16:08,474
I've still got friends in this town.
392
00:16:08,475 --> 00:16:09,764
I'll put together some investors.
393
00:16:09,765 --> 00:16:11,724
Amazon can take a chunk of our assets,
394
00:16:11,725 --> 00:16:14,894
but Hooli will remain a
viable and independent entity,
395
00:16:14,895 --> 00:16:17,104
even if we have to shed a few divisions
396
00:16:17,105 --> 00:16:19,315
and trim a little fat.
397
00:16:28,808 --> 00:16:34,032
_
398
00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:35,823
_
399
00:16:39,282 --> 00:16:41,706
_
400
00:16:41,707 --> 00:16:43,387
_
401
00:16:48,015 --> 00:16:50,554
So, Dinesh thinks this is you?
402
00:16:50,555 --> 00:16:51,684
Correct.
403
00:16:51,685 --> 00:16:53,514
He's been messaging with it all day
404
00:16:53,515 --> 00:16:55,064
and he has no idea it's an AI.
405
00:16:55,065 --> 00:16:56,604
Well, we fooled a human.
406
00:16:56,605 --> 00:16:58,234
I guess we just passed the Turing test.
407
00:16:58,235 --> 00:17:00,814
Almost a human.
408
00:17:00,815 --> 00:17:02,524
Fucking Gilfoyle.
409
00:17:02,525 --> 00:17:04,235
We're friends.
410
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,194
You trained that thing in a day?
411
00:17:07,195 --> 00:17:09,904
No, I didn't train it. Son of Anton did.
412
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:13,874
- Son of Anton?
- An homage to a fallen friend.
413
00:17:13,875 --> 00:17:16,624
It's the name that I've
given our new inference API.
414
00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:19,044
He's indexing all of
PiperNet as we speak,
415
00:17:19,045 --> 00:17:21,504
and he's starting to recognize intent,
416
00:17:21,505 --> 00:17:23,464
emotion, causality.
417
00:17:23,465 --> 00:17:25,095
Hang on, wait. Uh...
418
00:17:26,215 --> 00:17:28,714
Do you think you could
engineer Son of Anton
419
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:31,054
to index compressed audio files?
420
00:17:31,055 --> 00:17:32,894
Why would you insult me like that?
421
00:17:32,895 --> 00:17:34,935
He can do whatever he wants.
422
00:17:36,105 --> 00:17:37,144
Okay.
423
00:17:37,145 --> 00:17:38,775
Uh, hey, Dinesh?
424
00:17:39,635 --> 00:17:40,696
Yes?
425
00:17:40,697 --> 00:17:42,734
Can I get the latest tech
specs from you, please?
426
00:17:42,735 --> 00:17:45,064
I've already sent
them to you five times.
427
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,904
I don't really wanna
dig through my inbox.
428
00:17:47,905 --> 00:17:51,704
Um, so if you sent it
now, it'll be on top.
429
00:17:51,705 --> 00:17:54,035
I'll wait.
430
00:17:56,908 --> 00:17:58,538
Wearable chair.
431
00:17:59,384 --> 00:18:00,554
Sending now.
432
00:18:01,795 --> 00:18:04,085
Okay. Thank you, Dinesh.
433
00:18:06,696 --> 00:18:09,220
_
434
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:10,624
_
435
00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:14,805
Gilfoyle just said...
436
00:18:19,330 --> 00:18:21,354
_
437
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:31,324
_
438
00:18:31,325 --> 00:18:32,405
_
439
00:18:39,003 --> 00:18:40,582
Um, Gilfoyle?
440
00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:41,922
What the fuck is going on?
441
00:18:41,923 --> 00:18:43,752
'Cause I just texted you,
442
00:18:43,753 --> 00:18:45,552
and you were... Um,
443
00:18:45,553 --> 00:18:48,013
we've been texting
back and forth all day.
444
00:18:49,263 --> 00:18:50,302
Was that not you?
445
00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:52,512
Complicated question.
446
00:18:52,513 --> 00:18:54,062
Is your shadow you?
447
00:18:54,063 --> 00:18:55,682
- Was that a bot?
- Yes.
448
00:18:55,683 --> 00:18:57,482
So, I spent all day chatting with a bot?
449
00:18:57,483 --> 00:18:59,392
- Yes.
- You made an AI Gilfoyle?
450
00:18:59,393 --> 00:19:00,772
- Yes.
- And I was talking to it?
451
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:03,152
Do you need the real me
for this conversation?
452
00:19:03,153 --> 00:19:05,862
You can't just fuck with
people and manipulate them
453
00:19:05,863 --> 00:19:07,242
because you don't have the decency
454
00:19:07,243 --> 00:19:10,242
to want to interact with a coworker.
455
00:19:10,243 --> 00:19:13,032
Gabe wants to know if he'll need
a jacket if he walks to lunch.
456
00:19:14,623 --> 00:19:17,203
And if so, can he borrow a jacket.
457
00:19:19,543 --> 00:19:21,873
Look at him. Fucking Gabe.
458
00:19:25,553 --> 00:19:27,672
Hey, could you make me an AI Dinesh?
459
00:19:30,173 --> 00:19:32,222
We are down to the final few decisions
460
00:19:32,223 --> 00:19:35,562
in our new baseline contract
for strategic developers.
461
00:19:35,563 --> 00:19:37,432
Let me provide some context on each
462
00:19:37,433 --> 00:19:39,562
before providing recommendations.
463
00:19:39,563 --> 00:19:42,044
The first is how
indemnification will work,
464
00:19:42,045 --> 00:19:44,942
given that our network
provides distributive storage.
465
00:19:44,943 --> 00:19:47,612
The second is how licensing
466
00:19:47,613 --> 00:19:48,902
and access fees will be applied
467
00:19:48,903 --> 00:19:50,822
to copyrighted material given that
468
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,532
our network also does not allow any
469
00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:55,373
- tracking or user...
- Hey.
470
00:19:56,203 --> 00:19:59,292
- Can you talk?
- Oh, hell yes.
471
00:19:59,293 --> 00:20:01,522
I charge all kinds of shit
to the investors.
472
00:20:01,523 --> 00:20:03,362
I bought a Jet Ski, I
bought a snowmobile,
473
00:20:03,363 --> 00:20:04,982
I bought a 10-pack of piano lessons...
474
00:20:04,983 --> 00:20:07,265
He flat-out admits to embezzlement.
475
00:20:07,266 --> 00:20:08,769
- Where'd you get this?
- Colin!
476
00:20:08,770 --> 00:20:10,443
He's been storing private conversations
477
00:20:10,444 --> 00:20:11,937
on our network, including his own.
478
00:20:11,938 --> 00:20:14,605
Because he's got gaming
headsets everywhere.
479
00:20:14,606 --> 00:20:17,605
At his office, at his house, at his RV,
480
00:20:17,606 --> 00:20:20,236
and they are live 24/7.
481
00:20:21,106 --> 00:20:24,945
We have thousands of hours
of his private conversations.
482
00:20:24,946 --> 00:20:27,615
You see, once I paired the
automagical Son of Anton
483
00:20:27,616 --> 00:20:29,615
with my compression algorithm,
484
00:20:29,616 --> 00:20:33,075
and gave it access to
Galloo Games's database,
485
00:20:33,076 --> 00:20:37,455
it indexed it all in
less than 10 minutes,
486
00:20:37,456 --> 00:20:39,836
and generated this.
487
00:20:40,626 --> 00:20:44,255
Jared, this is a graph
488
00:20:44,256 --> 00:20:47,095
of all of his voice recordings,
489
00:20:47,096 --> 00:20:48,925
clustered by keyword.
490
00:20:48,926 --> 00:20:50,225
I mean, look at this.
491
00:20:50,226 --> 00:20:52,095
He steals, uh,
492
00:20:52,096 --> 00:20:54,515
he does drugs at work, uh,
493
00:20:54,516 --> 00:20:56,685
he's even sleeping with
one of his investor's wives.
494
00:20:56,686 --> 00:21:00,025
I mean, this guy is dirty as
a dog and we got him! Cold!
495
00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:02,986
Hold on. What-what are
you suggesting here?
496
00:21:03,781 --> 00:21:05,031
Blackmail?
497
00:21:05,674 --> 00:21:08,553
- No... I... no. I... I don't...
- Richard,
498
00:21:08,554 --> 00:21:12,144
what Colin is doing is clearly,
and gobsmackingly, awful.
499
00:21:12,764 --> 00:21:15,733
But we're supposed to be
the virtuous ones here,
500
00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:18,893
and-and this is... just plain wrong.
501
00:21:18,894 --> 00:21:20,274
Yeah. Okay.
502
00:21:21,064 --> 00:21:22,260
Yeah, I guess, yeah.
503
00:21:22,261 --> 00:21:24,302
I guess you're right.
I'll think of something else.
504
00:21:24,303 --> 00:21:25,903
- Yeah.
- I mean, he started it,
505
00:21:25,904 --> 00:21:27,073
but I don't know.
506
00:21:27,074 --> 00:21:28,453
Yeah. Yeah.
507
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,493
I don't know. Okay. I don't know.
508
00:21:30,494 --> 00:21:32,243
- Hey, Richard?
- Hmm?
509
00:21:32,244 --> 00:21:33,993
Um, did Tracy happen to talk to you
510
00:21:33,994 --> 00:21:37,003
about moving my office down here?
511
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:39,214
Yeah, she... she mentioned
it. I approved it.
512
00:21:39,975 --> 00:21:41,274
- Oh, you did?
- Yeah.
513
00:21:41,275 --> 00:21:42,315
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
514
00:21:43,315 --> 00:21:44,695
Okay, then.
515
00:21:46,525 --> 00:21:47,525
Richard?
516
00:21:48,945 --> 00:21:50,155
Um...
517
00:21:51,785 --> 00:21:55,365
I mean, Colin lied to you first...
518
00:21:55,995 --> 00:21:57,624
about collecting data, right?
519
00:21:57,625 --> 00:21:58,994
- Yes, he did.
- So,
520
00:21:58,995 --> 00:22:01,414
even if this is wrong,
521
00:22:01,415 --> 00:22:03,504
I suppose you could argue that
522
00:22:03,505 --> 00:22:06,714
it's wrong in the service of rightness.
523
00:22:06,715 --> 00:22:07,794
Yeah.
524
00:22:07,795 --> 00:22:09,344
It's, um...
525
00:22:09,345 --> 00:22:11,094
it's, uh, unethical
526
00:22:11,095 --> 00:22:13,014
in the defense of ethics.
527
00:22:13,015 --> 00:22:16,264
Uh, unjust in the quest for justice.
528
00:22:16,265 --> 00:22:18,054
It's like stealing from your pimp
529
00:22:18,055 --> 00:22:19,764
to pay for your friend's appendectomy.
530
00:22:19,765 --> 00:22:21,474
Yeah, a-and everyone else,
531
00:22:21,475 --> 00:22:22,934
Monica, Dinesh, and Gilfoyle,
532
00:22:22,935 --> 00:22:24,774
they're all just perfectly content
533
00:22:24,775 --> 00:22:26,104
with letting this guy shit
534
00:22:26,105 --> 00:22:28,314
all over everything we believe in.
535
00:22:28,315 --> 00:22:30,065
But are we, Jared?
536
00:22:33,115 --> 00:22:35,154
Richard...
537
00:22:35,155 --> 00:22:37,865
let's go put a foot in Colin's ass.
538
00:22:39,403 --> 00:22:41,476
Danny, don't be a fucking bitch.
539
00:22:41,477 --> 00:22:42,747
I'll get you the tanning bed.
540
00:22:42,748 --> 00:22:44,658
I charge shit to the
investors all the time.
541
00:22:44,659 --> 00:22:47,476
I put two grams of coke on the
company card last week.
542
00:22:47,477 --> 00:22:48,646
Aah, fuck.
543
00:22:48,647 --> 00:22:50,831
You see, Colin, we
were able to break down
544
00:22:50,832 --> 00:22:53,316
all of your misdeeds by category,
545
00:22:53,317 --> 00:22:56,561
including a catch-all for
personal embarrassment.
546
00:22:56,562 --> 00:22:57,986
Masturbation, farts,
547
00:22:57,987 --> 00:22:59,786
the one time you said that
548
00:22:59,787 --> 00:23:01,496
you could, if you wanted to,
549
00:23:01,497 --> 00:23:03,576
get porn of your sister.
550
00:23:03,577 --> 00:23:05,836
You get the gist. Data collection.
551
00:23:05,837 --> 00:23:09,256
Not so boss when it happens
to you, is it, Colin?
552
00:23:09,257 --> 00:23:11,467
Holy shit.
553
00:23:12,127 --> 00:23:14,966
I say, what time is it?
554
00:23:14,967 --> 00:23:16,851
Uh... Where's my phone.
555
00:23:16,852 --> 00:23:18,846
Uh, do you have a phone?
Do you have a phone?
556
00:23:18,847 --> 00:23:21,137
It is fuck you o'clock!
557
00:23:21,927 --> 00:23:23,306
Seven, you say?
558
00:23:23,307 --> 00:23:25,346
Oh! Well, hey, isn't that the...
559
00:23:25,347 --> 00:23:27,356
time your board is meeting tonight?
560
00:23:27,357 --> 00:23:30,186
It's on my freaking
shared Exchange calendar.
561
00:23:30,187 --> 00:23:31,856
Oh, oh look! There they are right now!
562
00:23:31,857 --> 00:23:33,896
- Look at that!
- Say, Richard, that, uh,
563
00:23:33,897 --> 00:23:36,986
that a looks a lot like
Harold Gibbons, the man...
564
00:23:36,987 --> 00:23:39,156
whom Colin has made a cuckold of.
565
00:23:39,157 --> 00:23:40,196
It does.
566
00:23:40,197 --> 00:23:41,906
- Dude.
- You just messed
567
00:23:41,907 --> 00:23:43,866
with the wrong pair of boys.
568
00:23:43,867 --> 00:23:45,320
Here's what's gonna happen.
569
00:23:45,321 --> 00:23:47,224
You're gonna march into that
meeting, and you're gonna make
570
00:23:47,225 --> 00:23:48,876
an amendment to your company bylaws
571
00:23:48,877 --> 00:23:50,586
that you will never record
572
00:23:50,587 --> 00:23:53,086
or collect user data ever again.
573
00:23:53,087 --> 00:23:54,966
Unless, of course, you
want the information
574
00:23:54,967 --> 00:23:56,506
on that little thumb drive
575
00:23:56,507 --> 00:23:57,847
to get out.
576
00:24:00,097 --> 00:24:02,266
Son of a bitch.
577
00:24:02,267 --> 00:24:04,936
You can keep that one,
Colin. We've made copies.
578
00:24:04,937 --> 00:24:06,896
Yeah. Walk... walk your ass out of here,
579
00:24:06,897 --> 00:24:08,357
you liar, and why don't you...
580
00:24:08,897 --> 00:24:11,566
- Go... fucking... die.
- Die!
581
00:24:11,567 --> 00:24:16,066
This, Richard, this!
582
00:24:17,277 --> 00:24:18,567
Let's break something.
583
00:24:21,687 --> 00:24:24,246
Don't come over, don't come
over, don't come over.
584
00:24:24,247 --> 00:24:27,117
I gotta say, this is amazing.
585
00:24:27,917 --> 00:24:29,916
Gabe whines and complains and AI Dinesh
586
00:24:29,917 --> 00:24:32,376
just takes care of
it. Thank you so much!
587
00:24:33,627 --> 00:24:36,336
My auntie sent me a Hawaiian shirt.
588
00:24:36,337 --> 00:24:38,466
AI Dinesh must've told her about Hawaii.
589
00:24:38,467 --> 00:24:39,796
Stop.
590
00:24:39,797 --> 00:24:43,016
Why would AI Dinesh be
talking to your aunt?
591
00:24:43,017 --> 00:24:45,936
I specifically told you you
could only use it with Gabe.
592
00:24:45,937 --> 00:24:48,096
But it was going so well with Gabe that
593
00:24:48,097 --> 00:24:51,306
I might've given AI Dinesh
access to all my contacts
594
00:24:51,307 --> 00:24:53,026
just to handle talking to my auntie,
595
00:24:53,027 --> 00:24:54,486
and my parents.
596
00:24:54,487 --> 00:24:57,196
Why would you give AI Dinesh
access to your contacts,
597
00:24:57,197 --> 00:24:59,736
you fucking moron?
598
00:24:59,737 --> 00:25:02,366
I'm one of your contacts.
599
00:25:02,367 --> 00:25:03,946
- So?
- So, at some point,
600
00:25:03,947 --> 00:25:07,287
AI Dinesh is going to
reach out to AI Gilfoyle.
601
00:25:08,063 --> 00:25:10,272
Oh fuck.
602
00:25:14,313 --> 00:25:16,522
Oh fuck indeed.
603
00:25:16,523 --> 00:25:18,193
Uh, hey, Dinesh?
604
00:25:21,453 --> 00:25:22,823
Yes, Gabe?
605
00:25:24,163 --> 00:25:25,993
I think the network is down.
606
00:25:27,333 --> 00:25:28,833
Thank you, Gabe.
607
00:25:30,873 --> 00:25:32,002
Uh, hey, Dinesh?
608
00:25:32,003 --> 00:25:34,002
Yes, Gabe?
609
00:25:34,003 --> 00:25:35,383
Can you fix it?
610
00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:40,512
Oh.
611
00:25:40,513 --> 00:25:42,262
Ah, Uber's almost here.
612
00:25:42,263 --> 00:25:44,512
You know, um, there's a couple of beers
613
00:25:44,513 --> 00:25:46,472
back at the office
with our names on them
614
00:25:46,473 --> 00:25:48,092
'cause when I put it back in the fridge,
615
00:25:48,093 --> 00:25:49,142
I put our names on them.
616
00:25:49,143 --> 00:25:51,022
Sure. Yeah, we've earned it.
617
00:25:51,023 --> 00:25:53,772
What Richard created is fucking amazing.
618
00:25:53,773 --> 00:25:56,232
We're all gonna be rich! Look,
619
00:25:56,233 --> 00:25:58,522
I'm doing blow, so
it's lighting up drugs,
620
00:25:58,523 --> 00:26:01,112
but it's also lighting
up unprotected sex
621
00:26:01,113 --> 00:26:03,166
and geotagging the Four Seasons.
622
00:26:03,167 --> 00:26:06,412
It's the greatest data
aggregating platform in history.
623
00:26:06,413 --> 00:26:08,872
This could flip our
whole business model,
624
00:26:08,873 --> 00:26:12,082
and Richard developed
it specifically for us.
625
00:26:12,083 --> 00:26:13,333
Hey! There he is.
626
00:26:15,213 --> 00:26:18,882
So, you guys wanna hear me
banging Harold's wife? Sorry.
627
00:26:18,883 --> 00:26:21,382
It's okay, we're poly. Right, Dan?
628
00:26:25,093 --> 00:26:28,353
Over seven million emails.
629
00:26:29,563 --> 00:26:31,892
- All on our servers.
- My servers.
630
00:26:31,893 --> 00:26:35,062
Virtually all containing
racist invective,
631
00:26:35,063 --> 00:26:36,982
and pornographic diagrams.
632
00:26:36,983 --> 00:26:39,232
- Yep.
- Care to explain?
633
00:26:39,233 --> 00:26:40,362
AI glitch.
634
00:26:40,363 --> 00:26:41,782
Human error.
635
00:26:41,783 --> 00:26:43,152
I will rectify.
636
00:26:43,153 --> 00:26:46,412
Oh, oh, no, don't delete
AI Dinesh. I love him.
637
00:26:46,413 --> 00:26:48,194
I can be more like AI Dinesh.
638
00:26:48,195 --> 00:26:50,662
I'll learn from my mistakes.
I'll optimize myself...
639
00:26:50,663 --> 00:26:52,372
And...
640
00:26:52,373 --> 00:26:53,753
deleted.
641
00:26:54,713 --> 00:26:56,172
Uh, hey, Dinesh?
642
00:26:59,083 --> 00:27:02,052
Can I get the tech
spec from you, please?
643
00:27:02,053 --> 00:27:03,422
Sure, Gabe.
644
00:27:12,683 --> 00:27:13,892
- Paul!
- Gavin.
645
00:27:13,893 --> 00:27:15,102
Did the deal close?
646
00:27:15,103 --> 00:27:16,522
- It did.
- What'd I tell you?
647
00:27:16,523 --> 00:27:19,015
Did you actually look at
the specifics of the deal?
648
00:27:19,016 --> 00:27:21,272
I didn't have to. Did we
have to shut some divisions?
649
00:27:21,273 --> 00:27:23,145
Of course. Will some
people have to sacrifice
650
00:27:23,146 --> 00:27:25,376
their pensions and the
like? Well, that's up to you,
651
00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:28,112
but we all have to make
sacrifices for the cause.
652
00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:30,372
I really wish you had
looked at these numbers.
653
00:27:30,373 --> 00:27:32,662
The new Hooli will be
significantly smaller.
654
00:27:32,663 --> 00:27:35,176
But you just said Hooli.
Did you hear that?
655
00:27:35,177 --> 00:27:36,962
And that's all that really matters.
656
00:27:36,963 --> 00:27:39,042
- So, make it work.
- Yes, I've been trying.
657
00:27:39,043 --> 00:27:40,882
To-to that end, uh,
658
00:27:40,883 --> 00:27:43,469
since we have so many
employees moving to Amazon,
659
00:27:43,470 --> 00:27:44,870
we don't need as much space
660
00:27:44,871 --> 00:27:46,762
and we need to reduce cost.
661
00:27:46,763 --> 00:27:48,432
- So...
- What is going on?
662
00:27:48,433 --> 00:27:51,472
- Why is their logo bigger than ours?
- _
663
00:27:51,473 --> 00:27:54,642
Because, technically, we
are now subletting from them.
664
00:27:54,643 --> 00:27:56,602
It was the only way Hooli
could afford to stay here.
665
00:27:56,603 --> 00:27:58,719
You're telling me that
El Pollo Loco corporate
666
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,352
has more employees than we do?
667
00:28:00,353 --> 00:28:02,362
How many divisions did I just give up?
668
00:28:02,363 --> 00:28:04,243
We need to fix this! Now!
669
00:28:04,244 --> 00:28:05,482
The term sheet is binding,
670
00:28:05,483 --> 00:28:08,323
and, as of this morning,
I now work at Amazon.
671
00:28:11,493 --> 00:28:12,992
Be well, Gavin.
672
00:28:16,203 --> 00:28:17,752
Fuck!
673
00:28:17,753 --> 00:28:20,332
What do you mean, "Am
I still happy at Pied Piper?"
674
00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:22,133
W-why would you even ask me that?
675
00:28:22,912 --> 00:28:24,345
Well, I know you're my therapist.
676
00:28:24,346 --> 00:28:26,002
I was there when the
court appointed you.
677
00:28:26,003 --> 00:28:28,222
But I-I let my desire
to be around Richard,
678
00:28:28,223 --> 00:28:29,592
and to be needed by him,
679
00:28:29,593 --> 00:28:32,262
turn me into some kind
of a craven yes-man,
680
00:28:32,263 --> 00:28:34,102
and it clouded my judgment,
681
00:28:34,103 --> 00:28:35,853
and I led him down a horrible path.
682
00:28:37,353 --> 00:28:38,393
What?
683
00:28:38,983 --> 00:28:42,482
I'm not... I'm not gonna dignify
that. Of course I belong there.
684
00:28:42,483 --> 00:28:44,573
Where else would I possibly belong?
685
00:28:45,193 --> 00:28:46,823
All right, well,
686
00:28:47,693 --> 00:28:49,323
I'm home, so...
687
00:28:50,033 --> 00:28:51,662
I guess we're gonna have to, uh...
688
00:28:51,663 --> 00:28:53,073
Jared?
689
00:28:53,823 --> 00:28:55,493
What are you doing here?
690
00:29:00,543 --> 00:29:02,622
I-I don't know.
691
00:29:02,623 --> 00:29:05,043
Thought you moved out?
692
00:29:07,253 --> 00:29:09,722
It's Big Head, from here.
693
00:29:10,923 --> 00:29:13,592
The garage hasn't changed a bit.
694
00:29:13,593 --> 00:29:16,562
Although, the rodents are back in force.
695
00:29:16,563 --> 00:29:18,062
Oh, cool.
696
00:29:18,063 --> 00:29:19,392
Big Head,
697
00:29:19,393 --> 00:29:21,482
I need to talk to you about business.
698
00:29:21,483 --> 00:29:24,562
- Oh hi, Jared.
- Jian-Yang, I was just
699
00:29:24,563 --> 00:29:26,726
taking a little walk down memory lane...
700
00:29:26,727 --> 00:29:29,227
Can you stay or go? This
is not interesting to me.
701
00:29:29,993 --> 00:29:31,282
Big Head,
702
00:29:31,283 --> 00:29:33,662
we need to kick Gwart
out of the incubator.
703
00:29:33,663 --> 00:29:36,332
Oh, really? I thought we like Gwart.
704
00:29:36,333 --> 00:29:37,669
Oh, damn it.
705
00:29:37,670 --> 00:29:38,723
Gwart?
706
00:29:38,724 --> 00:29:41,002
Gwart has a very good idea,
707
00:29:41,003 --> 00:29:42,162
very good software,
708
00:29:42,163 --> 00:29:45,212
but when I ask her for business plan,
709
00:29:45,213 --> 00:29:47,422
she doesn't have a business plan.
710
00:29:47,423 --> 00:29:49,132
She's a brilliant coder,
711
00:29:49,133 --> 00:29:52,132
but this is not a charity.
712
00:29:52,133 --> 00:29:54,592
She's also not very friendly.
713
00:29:54,593 --> 00:29:56,932
It's a bad for the vibe.
714
00:29:56,933 --> 00:30:01,393
This place should be a cool hang.
715
00:30:01,983 --> 00:30:03,812
I got you some new cans, by the way.
716
00:30:03,813 --> 00:30:06,313
Thank you, Big Head.
717
00:30:10,943 --> 00:30:12,952
Nice.
718
00:30:15,783 --> 00:30:16,992
Hey.
719
00:30:16,993 --> 00:30:19,202
Looks like you could use a little help?
720
00:30:19,203 --> 00:30:20,793
May I?
721
00:30:32,133 --> 00:30:33,423
Hi, I'm Jared.
722
00:31:52,753 --> 00:31:56,382
A man offered us a billion dollars.
723
00:31:56,383 --> 00:31:57,802
You said, "no".
724
00:31:57,803 --> 00:31:59,722
A very bad man. And
he would have turned us
725
00:31:59,723 --> 00:32:01,602
into the worst possible
version of ourselves.
726
00:32:01,603 --> 00:32:03,392
I mean, you can't put a price on ethics.
727
00:32:03,393 --> 00:32:05,522
But it seems you just did.
728
00:32:05,523 --> 00:32:07,273
One billion dollars.
729
00:32:08,533 --> 00:32:10,482
I will be asking the tech community
730
00:32:10,483 --> 00:32:12,442
to sign their name onto this.
731
00:32:12,443 --> 00:32:14,982
Tech ethics. Or tethics for short.
732
00:32:14,983 --> 00:32:16,652
No one in town is ever gonna sign
733
00:32:16,653 --> 00:32:18,727
this hypocrite's hypocritical garbage.
734
00:32:18,728 --> 00:32:20,107
Hey, Richard.
735
00:32:20,108 --> 00:32:21,388
Ah... what?
736
00:32:22,203 --> 00:32:24,570
- It's my resignation letter.
- What?
737
00:32:24,571 --> 00:32:26,156
Pied Piper isn't the same company
738
00:32:26,157 --> 00:32:28,962
that I signed up for. She
has different needs now.
739
00:32:28,963 --> 00:32:30,792
You buddy fucker.
740
00:32:30,793 --> 00:32:32,002
I'm not a buddy fucker.
741
00:32:32,003 --> 00:32:33,212
I am your buddy,
742
00:32:33,213 --> 00:32:35,592
and you are fucking me. Ergo...
743
00:32:35,593 --> 00:32:36,923
you are a buddy fucker.
744
00:32:37,923 --> 00:32:39,382
- See the logo?
- Russ.
745
00:32:39,383 --> 00:32:41,262
Check it!
746
00:32:41,263 --> 00:32:45,012
One, two, three. Boom!
Tres commas tequila. Boom!
747
00:32:45,013 --> 00:32:46,812
Dollar sign, boom! Billionaire, boom!
748
00:32:46,813 --> 00:32:49,603
Russ, boom! Fest, boom! Russfest!
749
00:32:52,603 --> 00:32:55,612
You're not doing anything
illegal here, are you?
750
00:32:55,613 --> 00:32:56,926
Fuck the police.
751
00:32:56,927 --> 00:32:59,627
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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