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1
00:00:03,063 --> 00:00:05,063
(sighs)
2
00:00:09,069 --> 00:00:11,770
Mom?
3
00:00:11,838 --> 00:00:14,139
Adam?
4
00:00:14,164 --> 00:00:15,430
(sighs)
5
00:00:16,492 --> 00:00:17,586
Yes.
6
00:00:17,654 --> 00:00:21,089
I said I didn't want to
go, and you made me go.
7
00:00:21,114 --> 00:00:22,180
No.
8
00:00:22,205 --> 00:00:23,804
Then you sat there like a lump.
9
00:00:23,829 --> 00:00:26,028
I finally find a couple we
can be couple friends with,
10
00:00:26,053 --> 00:00:27,986
and you consciously uncoupled us.
11
00:00:28,011 --> 00:00:31,188
The guy called soccer
"football." He's from Milwaukee.
12
00:00:32,273 --> 00:00:34,102
There's no excuse for that.
13
00:00:34,992 --> 00:00:37,729
Why are you so hung up
on having couple friends?
14
00:00:37,754 --> 00:00:39,140
It's what you do when you get married.
15
00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:40,876
You cultivate relationships
with other couples.
16
00:00:40,901 --> 00:00:42,554
You go to movies together,
you meet for sushi,
17
00:00:42,579 --> 00:00:43,779
you stay at their beach house.
18
00:00:43,804 --> 00:00:45,236
They had a beach house.
19
00:00:46,306 --> 00:00:49,211
Really? Do they have any kids my age?
20
00:00:50,172 --> 00:00:51,753
Don't bother. He killed it.
21
00:00:51,778 --> 00:00:54,547
And not the good kind of "killed
it" like you young people say.
22
00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:57,582
Fine, if it'll make you happy,
I'll have another brutal dinner
23
00:00:57,607 --> 00:01:00,508
with a couple of hipsters you
met at the Artichoke Festival.
24
00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:03,398
Are you kidding? 'Cause when
I said we should do this again,
25
00:01:03,423 --> 00:01:04,889
their voices jumped three octaves.
26
00:01:04,914 --> 00:01:07,016
(high-pitched): "Yeah, absolutely!"
27
00:01:08,445 --> 00:01:10,128
Well, if you're looking for a fun hang,
28
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,552
I'll go out with you guys.
29
00:01:13,664 --> 00:01:16,063
BOTH (high-pitched): Yeah, absolutely.
30
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:24,074
Advertise your product or brand here
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31
00:01:29,984 --> 00:01:34,984
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
32
00:01:37,102 --> 00:01:38,959
It's just, I've waited
so long to get married,
33
00:01:38,984 --> 00:01:40,608
I want the whole married package,
34
00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:42,334
and that package
includes couple friends.
35
00:01:42,359 --> 00:01:44,445
You know, the kind you
go on bicycle trips with.
36
00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:45,845
Adam's in a wheelchair.
37
00:01:45,870 --> 00:01:48,304
- Or take wine-tasting classes.
- You're an alcoholic.
38
00:01:48,329 --> 00:01:51,938
Or help you bury relentlessly
negative friends in the desert.
39
00:01:52,859 --> 00:01:55,111
She's taking a shot at you.
I don't know if you caught it.
40
00:01:55,136 --> 00:01:57,937
(scoffs) Like those
idiots could bury me.
41
00:01:58,516 --> 00:02:03,342
Well, couple friends are great
until two of you stay behind
42
00:02:03,367 --> 00:02:04,964
in the lodge while
your spouses go skiing,
43
00:02:04,989 --> 00:02:06,766
and next thing you know,
your husband's asking you
44
00:02:06,791 --> 00:02:09,959
how you got rug burns on
your knees playing Scrabble.
45
00:02:12,352 --> 00:02:15,430
Well, you just got a
lot more interesting.
46
00:02:15,644 --> 00:02:16,777
Um, hello?
47
00:02:17,002 --> 00:02:18,334
Hi.
48
00:02:18,609 --> 00:02:19,808
Not you.
49
00:02:21,422 --> 00:02:24,715
- What about me and Andy?
- Interesting pitch. Bring it home.
50
00:02:25,227 --> 00:02:27,153
Well, I do believe I
am the only other one
51
00:02:27,178 --> 00:02:29,085
at this table who's coupled up.
52
00:02:29,110 --> 00:02:30,977
Some of us are just a little pickier.
53
00:02:31,406 --> 00:02:32,837
Maybe a little too picky.
54
00:02:33,031 --> 00:02:34,481
For the last time, I'm not gonna date
55
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:37,055
any of your widowed
mall-walking friends.
56
00:02:37,153 --> 00:02:40,053
Seymour is a very vigorous 72.
57
00:02:40,121 --> 00:02:43,513
- That's still way too...
- We'll talk about this at home.
58
00:02:46,672 --> 00:02:48,105
I'll take a mall walker.
59
00:02:48,352 --> 00:02:50,453
As long as he doesn't
actually have a walker.
60
00:02:50,789 --> 00:02:52,577
Oh, screw it, he can have a walker.
61
00:02:52,602 --> 00:02:54,668
But he has to have his hair.
62
00:02:54,693 --> 00:02:56,760
Ugh, what do I need hair for?
63
00:02:56,785 --> 00:03:00,008
I'm desperate, too. I just
hit on my Sparkletts guy.
64
00:03:00,033 --> 00:03:03,414
It didn't go well. I
can't have water now.
65
00:03:04,814 --> 00:03:06,380
You know, you and Andy could be fun.
66
00:03:06,405 --> 00:03:07,337
We think so.
67
00:03:07,406 --> 00:03:08,683
I mean, you don't have a vacation home,
68
00:03:08,707 --> 00:03:10,039
but you do have a nice pool.
69
00:03:10,152 --> 00:03:11,518
I have a vacation home.
70
00:03:11,675 --> 00:03:15,243
- You do?
- No. Not in Santa Barbara, not anywhere
71
00:03:17,259 --> 00:03:19,726
Split six ways?
Actually, I only had soup.
72
00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:21,395
Oh, I did have two iced teas.
73
00:03:21,464 --> 00:03:23,730
(sighs) I'll get the calculator.
74
00:03:24,383 --> 00:03:26,319
I'm gonna hit the ladies'.
75
00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:27,724
Tell me what I owe you when I get back.
76
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,807
I'll go with you. You know
what they say about BLTs.
77
00:03:29,832 --> 00:03:32,199
You don't buy 'em, you rent 'em.
78
00:03:33,894 --> 00:03:36,362
Wouldn't that be true of all food?
79
00:03:36,544 --> 00:03:39,789
I find it's best not
to press these things.
80
00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:43,339
I don't have to go, I just need to talk.
81
00:03:43,883 --> 00:03:46,319
Oh, okay. I'll just,
I'll just be a minute.
82
00:03:46,344 --> 00:03:48,645
No, Marjorie is driving me nuts.
83
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,053
Can this wait a sec?
84
00:03:50,158 --> 00:03:52,959
Christy, I was in prison seven
years. The mystery's gone.
85
00:03:53,992 --> 00:03:56,019
Okay, don't have to go anymore.
86
00:03:56,305 --> 00:03:58,765
You see how she's going all
Scrooge McDuck with the bill?
87
00:03:58,790 --> 00:04:00,811
That's nothing compared
to how she is at home.
88
00:04:00,836 --> 00:04:02,869
She's cheap, she's controlling.
89
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,727
I mean, even the cats are avoiding her.
90
00:04:04,875 --> 00:04:07,594
I'm serious. We
exchange knowing glances.
91
00:04:07,619 --> 00:04:09,176
You think it's hard
living with Marjorie?
92
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,633
Try living with my mother.
93
00:04:10,658 --> 00:04:12,591
She is the reason I
don't bring guys home.
94
00:04:14,109 --> 00:04:16,039
Well, she's one of the reasons.
95
00:04:16,151 --> 00:04:17,417
Does Bonnie freak out
96
00:04:17,442 --> 00:04:19,313
when you accidentally
throw out the Valpak?
97
00:04:19,338 --> 00:04:21,744
"Damn it to hell, you
threw out the Valpak!"
98
00:04:22,344 --> 00:04:25,081
That is such a Marjorie word. "Valpak."
99
00:04:25,106 --> 00:04:26,926
Oh, you know what's another good one?
100
00:04:26,951 --> 00:04:28,695
"Trash bag."
101
00:04:28,749 --> 00:04:32,251
"Tammy, I found a
Valpak in the trash bag."
102
00:04:35,226 --> 00:04:37,422
It's not funny when you
live with it, Christy.
103
00:04:38,173 --> 00:04:40,006
If it's so bad, why don't
you save up some money
104
00:04:40,031 --> 00:04:41,130
and get your own place?
105
00:04:41,199 --> 00:04:42,199
I have enough money now.
106
00:04:42,224 --> 00:04:43,857
I'm crushing it with the handyman stuff.
107
00:04:44,012 --> 00:04:45,779
Williams-Sonoma has
me fixing stuff there
108
00:04:45,804 --> 00:04:47,103
for the next three weeks.
109
00:04:47,215 --> 00:04:49,949
Did you know that they
make pasta with zucchini?
110
00:04:49,974 --> 00:04:51,984
News flash: still vegetables.
111
00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:57,146
You have money to live alone
without an annoying older woman?
112
00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:58,619
That's my dream.
113
00:05:04,219 --> 00:05:08,195
You each owe 16 bucks, so
wipe it, zip it, wrap it up.
114
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,504
Move out.
115
00:05:14,529 --> 00:05:16,758
Do it, do it for me.
116
00:05:19,081 --> 00:05:22,283
Get out. It's a grill and
a stick-burning smoker?
117
00:05:22,308 --> 00:05:24,317
Buddy, you can make a
cake with this thing.
118
00:05:24,342 --> 00:05:25,541
Won't it stink?
119
00:05:26,272 --> 00:05:28,445
Yeah. But you made it in a barbecue.
120
00:05:29,714 --> 00:05:32,381
And check this out.
You can isolate zones.
121
00:05:32,494 --> 00:05:34,427
I'm going slow and low on the pork butt
122
00:05:34,452 --> 00:05:36,750
while I sear with high
heat on the lamb chops.
123
00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:40,567
See this? It's my mind.
124
00:05:40,592 --> 00:05:43,398
Know why it's over
here? 'Cause it's blown.
125
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,534
- To meat.
- Meat.
126
00:05:46,564 --> 00:05:47,930
(chuckles)
127
00:05:48,336 --> 00:05:50,977
Look at 'em. It's like
the best play-date ever.
128
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:53,603
(chuckles) I don't think
I'm gonna get mine to leave.
129
00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:56,905
You guys are such a nice
break from Andy's cop friends.
130
00:05:56,930 --> 00:05:58,485
I mean, how many times can a girl laugh
131
00:05:58,510 --> 00:06:01,883
when a guy says "Don't worry,
it is a gun in my pocket."
132
00:06:02,747 --> 00:06:05,348
I'm willing to bet at least
one of them wasn't a gun.
133
00:06:05,416 --> 00:06:07,969
Herb, with the lingering hugs.
134
00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:11,053
I got to say, I'm glad we did this.
135
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:13,133
Doing this couple thing is fun.
136
00:06:13,158 --> 00:06:15,758
It is. So this Santa Barbara house,
137
00:06:15,783 --> 00:06:18,891
if we climb a tree, can we see Oprah?
138
00:06:20,977 --> 00:06:23,891
(slurring): To dessert.
(slurring): To dessert.
139
00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:25,849
They should make meat dessert.
140
00:06:26,137 --> 00:06:28,604
Like meat in a pie.
141
00:06:28,629 --> 00:06:30,570
Meatloaf pot pie.
142
00:06:31,509 --> 00:06:33,075
But no peas.
143
00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:35,789
Why do people ruin everything with peas?
144
00:06:35,814 --> 00:06:37,814
Get out of here, peas.
145
00:06:40,318 --> 00:06:42,185
Mm. Okay.
146
00:06:42,210 --> 00:06:44,043
Whoa.
147
00:06:44,155 --> 00:06:45,388
One more Predator handshake.
148
00:06:45,456 --> 00:06:46,722
Do you want to be Dutch?
149
00:06:46,876 --> 00:06:48,409
I am Dutch.
150
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,505
(Schwarzenegger voice):
What's the matter, Dillon?
151
00:06:51,529 --> 00:06:55,164
FBI got you pushing too many pencils?
152
00:07:00,165 --> 00:07:02,315
Did we look this stupid
when we were drinking?
153
00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:04,688
Yes, but I still got laid.
154
00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:06,986
And let's be honest, so will they.
155
00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,155
ANDY (regular voice): Hey, babe.
156
00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:12,446
Babe. Let's fire up the
'cuzza... Jacuzzaroo.
157
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,461
He has never called it that.
158
00:07:15,486 --> 00:07:18,354
Come on, Bonnie, 'c-cuzzaroo.
159
00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:20,078
'Cuzzaroo!
160
00:07:20,103 --> 00:07:21,136
'Cuzzar...
161
00:07:21,938 --> 00:07:24,103
Oh, like there's a chance in hell
162
00:07:24,128 --> 00:07:26,295
we're gonna get naked in front of...
163
00:07:30,728 --> 00:07:32,979
- I loved your share, Tammy.
- Thanks.
164
00:07:33,011 --> 00:07:36,045
Even though you did
ignore the timer twice.
165
00:07:36,070 --> 00:07:39,038
I live a big life, Marjorie.
And it wasn't twice... .
166
00:07:39,063 --> 00:07:40,563
We'll talk about this at home.
167
00:07:42,149 --> 00:07:44,023
I need you.
168
00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:45,314
What's going on?
169
00:07:45,383 --> 00:07:46,861
I found a great apartment,
but I got to give them
170
00:07:46,885 --> 00:07:48,818
a check on Friday or I lose the place.
171
00:07:49,079 --> 00:07:50,663
Fantastic. Give them a check.
172
00:07:50,688 --> 00:07:51,954
I still haven't told Marjorie.
173
00:07:51,979 --> 00:07:53,700
I started to, but then I got cold feet.
174
00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:55,569
And then I accidentally
threw out another Valpak,
175
00:07:55,593 --> 00:07:58,063
so I was coming from
a position of weakness.
176
00:07:58,273 --> 00:07:59,873
Will you talk to her for me?
177
00:08:00,376 --> 00:08:02,485
This is something you got to do alone.
178
00:08:03,433 --> 00:08:05,622
Like your 40s.
179
00:08:05,647 --> 00:08:07,847
Please? I work a half-day
at Williams-Sonoma tomorrow.
180
00:08:07,872 --> 00:08:09,972
You guys can come by and
we can go out to lunch.
181
00:08:10,798 --> 00:08:13,019
Okay, but you're assuming
she's gonna be upset.
182
00:08:13,044 --> 00:08:14,343
She could be happy.
183
00:08:14,618 --> 00:08:16,610
Why would she be happy?
184
00:08:17,375 --> 00:08:20,409
Right, she's gonna be
devastated. It'll be good.
185
00:08:21,396 --> 00:08:24,230
- Hey, couple buddy.
- Hey, you.
186
00:08:24,255 --> 00:08:27,093
Adam could not stop talking
about Andy and your barbecue.
187
00:08:27,118 --> 00:08:28,401
So, listen, what do you say
188
00:08:28,426 --> 00:08:30,359
we recapture the magic this weekend?
189
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:33,151
Maybe take a little drive down
to your place in Santa Barbara?
190
00:08:33,176 --> 00:08:35,109
Ooh, this weekend?
191
00:08:35,266 --> 00:08:38,274
- Or next.
- Ooh, next?
192
00:08:38,842 --> 00:08:41,253
We could do it another time. Do
you want to do it another time?
193
00:08:41,278 --> 00:08:44,196
(high-pitched): Yeah,
absolutely. Let's make a date.
194
00:08:45,053 --> 00:08:46,653
I have a calendar on my phone.
195
00:08:46,678 --> 00:08:49,228
I just learned how to, how to use it.
196
00:08:53,028 --> 00:08:54,627
Way to go, pally.
197
00:08:54,783 --> 00:08:57,274
Jill and Andy hate us,
and it's all your fault.
198
00:08:58,884 --> 00:09:00,433
Jill and Andy don't hate us.
199
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:02,369
Yes, they do. They don't want
to go out with us anymore.
200
00:09:02,393 --> 00:09:04,204
So now it's just gonna be you,
me, and... let's be honest...
201
00:09:04,228 --> 00:09:05,728
Christy until we die.
202
00:09:07,009 --> 00:09:08,441
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
203
00:09:08,466 --> 00:09:10,706
- Andy and I are great.
- Yeah, I thought so, too, when he was
204
00:09:10,734 --> 00:09:12,445
Officer and a Gentleman-ing
you out of the hot tub,
205
00:09:12,470 --> 00:09:15,962
but, uh... apparently not.
206
00:09:15,987 --> 00:09:18,864
- Why are you so sure it's me?
- Who else was there?
207
00:09:23,392 --> 00:09:26,782
"Andy, want to grab a beer?"
208
00:09:26,814 --> 00:09:28,610
Prepare to be ghosted,
because you're never gonna...
209
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:29,535
(phone chimes)
210
00:09:30,365 --> 00:09:31,798
"Now? Sure."
211
00:09:31,823 --> 00:09:33,422
(phone chimes)
212
00:09:33,787 --> 00:09:35,754
And a fist bump. It's you.
213
00:09:42,822 --> 00:09:43,876
Oh.
214
00:09:43,901 --> 00:09:45,935
- It smells so good in here.
- (chuckles)
215
00:09:46,103 --> 00:09:48,537
It's like a pumpkin made
love to a gingerbread man
216
00:09:48,562 --> 00:09:50,603
in an orange grove.
217
00:09:50,868 --> 00:09:54,946
I'm just excited you got to meet
some of my mall walker friends.
218
00:09:55,540 --> 00:09:57,874
Seymour really is vigorous.
219
00:09:59,139 --> 00:10:00,673
I hope he calls.
220
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:03,334
- Oh, my God.
- What?
221
00:10:03,915 --> 00:10:06,499
Valerie Bertinelli has that mixer.
222
00:10:06,524 --> 00:10:08,657
Tell Seymour I want this for Christmas.
223
00:10:10,761 --> 00:10:12,294
Can I offer you a sample?
224
00:10:12,319 --> 00:10:14,986
Tomato focaccia with
basil-infused olive oil.
225
00:10:15,143 --> 00:10:17,677
Ooh. Sounds yummy. Thanks.
226
00:10:17,702 --> 00:10:20,970
Um, I don't suppose
227
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,195
that you would be hiring, would you?
228
00:10:23,587 --> 00:10:26,052
Uh, well, you could go to our website
229
00:10:26,077 --> 00:10:28,010
and fill out an application.
230
00:10:28,035 --> 00:10:30,235
Do you know what a website is?
231
00:10:34,579 --> 00:10:36,629
I believe I can figure it out.
232
00:10:36,654 --> 00:10:38,387
Good for you!
233
00:10:41,431 --> 00:10:43,402
Marjorie, is everything all right?
234
00:10:43,427 --> 00:10:44,893
Yeah. Why?
235
00:10:45,157 --> 00:10:48,374
'Cause it sounded like
you were asking for a job.
236
00:10:49,321 --> 00:10:51,711
Okay. (sighs)
237
00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:53,202
I'm a little embarrassed about this,
238
00:10:53,227 --> 00:10:54,847
so please don't tell the other ladies,
239
00:10:54,872 --> 00:10:58,837
but I am having a
few... financial issues.
240
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,143
But I thought Victor had money.
241
00:11:01,212 --> 00:11:02,644
Well, he did.
242
00:11:02,669 --> 00:11:05,391
And then he got sick,
and between the meds
243
00:11:05,416 --> 00:11:07,853
and the home health care,
there's very little left.
244
00:11:08,163 --> 00:11:09,428
I'm so sorry.
245
00:11:09,453 --> 00:11:11,553
Well, thank God for Tammy.
246
00:11:11,666 --> 00:11:13,432
If she weren't kicking in on rent,
247
00:11:13,457 --> 00:11:15,657
I think I might not
still have the house.
248
00:11:15,682 --> 00:11:16,802
TAMMY: Hey, guys!
249
00:11:17,282 --> 00:11:18,761
Oh, my God, aren't those good?
250
00:11:18,786 --> 00:11:20,473
I've been eating so
many, my blood type's
251
00:11:20,498 --> 00:11:23,031
tomato focaccia-positive. (chuckles)
252
00:11:23,144 --> 00:11:25,845
That's just a little Willy
Sonoma humor. (chuckles)
253
00:11:25,870 --> 00:11:27,114
All right, let's go do this lunch.
254
00:11:27,138 --> 00:11:29,004
No-no-no, no lunch.
255
00:11:29,073 --> 00:11:32,007
Yes, lunch. We have a lot to talk about.
256
00:11:32,032 --> 00:11:33,953
But I'm not hungry anymore.
257
00:11:33,978 --> 00:11:36,110
But you promised you'd be hungry.
258
00:11:36,712 --> 00:11:39,040
But now I've changed my mind.
259
00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:40,649
But we were gonna have this lunch,
260
00:11:40,674 --> 00:11:42,579
and you were gonna
support me through that.
261
00:11:43,509 --> 00:11:46,499
But now I'm not, so I will support you
262
00:11:46,524 --> 00:11:48,290
at a future meal TBD.
263
00:11:49,915 --> 00:11:53,228
Oh... for heaven's sakes.
264
00:11:53,253 --> 00:11:55,251
She doesn't think I can afford lunch
265
00:11:55,276 --> 00:11:57,143
because I just told her I was having
266
00:11:57,168 --> 00:11:58,978
a few money problems.
267
00:11:59,298 --> 00:12:03,038
And that your rent
was really saving her.
268
00:12:03,825 --> 00:12:05,899
Oh!
269
00:12:07,841 --> 00:12:09,441
No lunch.
270
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,345
Knock, knock.
271
00:12:19,844 --> 00:12:22,468
Bonnie. (exhales)
272
00:12:22,493 --> 00:12:23,826
What are you doing here...
273
00:12:24,027 --> 00:12:26,394
past two maids and a gate?
274
00:12:27,868 --> 00:12:29,276
I was just in the neighborhood,
275
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:31,540
thought I'd drop in to
find out why you hate me.
276
00:12:32,923 --> 00:12:34,744
Is it 'cause I broke the fairy statue
277
00:12:34,769 --> 00:12:35,968
in the guest bathroom?
278
00:12:36,587 --> 00:12:39,775
It's a sea sprite, and
I didn't know about that.
279
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,980
The wings are in the toilet tank.
280
00:12:44,144 --> 00:12:46,458
- So, what'd I do?
- Nothing.
281
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,872
Great. So, when are the four
of us gonna hang out again?
282
00:12:48,897 --> 00:12:50,062
Real soon.
283
00:12:50,375 --> 00:12:53,409
Look at you, lying to me
right in front of Buddha.
284
00:12:54,933 --> 00:12:56,258
I'm not lying!
285
00:12:56,283 --> 00:12:58,159
Really? You sure about that?
286
00:12:59,425 --> 00:13:00,863
I know "real soon" is code
287
00:13:00,888 --> 00:13:02,054
for "don't want to do it."
288
00:13:02,519 --> 00:13:04,366
Okay, then why don't you shut up
289
00:13:04,391 --> 00:13:06,958
and pretend like everything's
fine like a normal person?
290
00:13:07,114 --> 00:13:08,747
Because I want to know what I did.
291
00:13:09,128 --> 00:13:11,206
(sighing): Oh, God.
292
00:13:11,319 --> 00:13:12,685
It isn't you, it's Adam.
293
00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:14,800
I knew it! (whoops)
294
00:13:16,413 --> 00:13:17,579
Is it the loud chewing?
295
00:13:17,604 --> 00:13:19,620
'Cause maybe we just don't have salad.
296
00:13:21,823 --> 00:13:25,195
No. It's not that. He's a great guy.
297
00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:30,948
I was just really uncomfortable
watching Andy get drunk.
298
00:13:32,164 --> 00:13:34,097
I've never seen him like that before.
299
00:13:34,894 --> 00:13:36,909
And you're afraid if
he and Adam hang out,
300
00:13:36,934 --> 00:13:38,200
it'll become a regular thing?
301
00:13:38,378 --> 00:13:40,911
Well, Adam does like to party.
302
00:13:43,933 --> 00:13:45,761
I guess I just realized
that I don't want to be
303
00:13:45,786 --> 00:13:47,058
around that anymore.
304
00:13:47,789 --> 00:13:49,188
I don't know how you do it.
305
00:13:49,706 --> 00:13:51,513
Honestly, I don't mind.
306
00:13:51,538 --> 00:13:53,271
When he has a beer and a half at night,
307
00:13:53,296 --> 00:13:54,860
it reminds me I can't drink that way,
308
00:13:54,885 --> 00:13:56,196
and when he occasionally gets sloppy,
309
00:13:56,220 --> 00:13:58,323
it reminds me I don't want
to drink that way, so...
310
00:13:58,348 --> 00:14:00,081
Also, he broke the sea sprite.
311
00:14:05,539 --> 00:14:07,386
Do you think I'm being too rigid?
312
00:14:07,564 --> 00:14:08,575
What I think doesn't matter.
313
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:10,532
You have to do what's right for you.
314
00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:13,753
Thanks.
315
00:14:15,211 --> 00:14:17,211
You're a really good friend.
316
00:14:17,885 --> 00:14:19,418
The kind of friend who gets a spare key
317
00:14:19,443 --> 00:14:21,862
to your Santa Barbara
house? Don't say anything.
318
00:14:25,745 --> 00:14:27,345
Think about it.
319
00:14:29,997 --> 00:14:31,730
- (music playing on TV)
- (chuckles)
320
00:14:31,755 --> 00:14:33,355
(sighs)
321
00:14:35,815 --> 00:14:37,807
Oh, by the way, it was you.
322
00:14:45,559 --> 00:14:49,328
I just never expected to be
without money at this age.
323
00:14:49,612 --> 00:14:52,206
It's humiliating. Who will hire me?
324
00:14:52,231 --> 00:14:54,326
I haven't worked in years.
325
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:57,285
I'm over 65. I have a record.
326
00:14:59,378 --> 00:15:00,993
Don't worry. There's gonna be
327
00:15:01,018 --> 00:15:03,339
plenty of places that will hire you.
328
00:15:03,449 --> 00:15:06,042
Tammy, would you pass the focaccia? Mm.
329
00:15:06,968 --> 00:15:09,369
Ooh, are those samples?
330
00:15:11,112 --> 00:15:14,050
No, we brought them from home.
331
00:15:19,329 --> 00:15:20,828
Nice work, Christy.
332
00:15:22,382 --> 00:15:24,783
I've been job hunting for weeks.
333
00:15:24,808 --> 00:15:26,408
If I don't find something,
334
00:15:26,521 --> 00:15:28,354
I may have to sell my house.
335
00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:34,659
(sighs) What'll happen to my cats?
They're old. Like me.
336
00:15:35,929 --> 00:15:37,847
People don't take in old cats.
337
00:15:37,872 --> 00:15:40,522
Yeah, but unlike you,
people can't necessarily tell
338
00:15:40,547 --> 00:15:42,613
that the cats are old.
339
00:15:49,784 --> 00:15:52,654
Look, Marjorie, I've been where you are.
340
00:15:52,679 --> 00:15:55,080
I know how you feel, so
I'm going to say to you
341
00:15:55,105 --> 00:15:57,503
what you always say to
me when I'm spinning out.
342
00:15:57,839 --> 00:15:59,307
You have a roof over your head.
343
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,309
- Yes, but...
- Are your bills paid?
344
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,294
Okay. I know where this is going.
345
00:16:03,319 --> 00:16:04,496
Do you have food in your fridge?
346
00:16:04,521 --> 00:16:06,658
Yes. Minus the French vanilla yogurt.
347
00:16:06,726 --> 00:16:08,293
I didn't eat it, I spilled it.
348
00:16:08,318 --> 00:16:10,034
You know what? We'll
talk about it at home.
349
00:16:11,019 --> 00:16:12,865
(sighs)
350
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,634
Just take it one day at a time.
351
00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:18,659
At least for today, you
have everything you need.
352
00:16:19,003 --> 00:16:21,863
Worst-case scenario,
which rarely happens,
353
00:16:21,888 --> 00:16:24,188
you're never gonna be on the
street, because you have us.
354
00:16:24,213 --> 00:16:25,644
And we're roomies for life.
355
00:16:25,669 --> 00:16:27,335
In fact, you should raise my rent.
356
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:30,161
I'm making money like a
call girl at the ESPYs.
357
00:16:37,261 --> 00:16:40,415
(sniffs) Mmm, smells good.
358
00:16:40,507 --> 00:16:42,874
Well, that's curious,
'cause nothing's cooking yet.
359
00:16:44,589 --> 00:16:46,932
Got to get this baby
seasoned up so it can rest
360
00:16:46,957 --> 00:16:48,523
before it faces the flame.
361
00:16:48,548 --> 00:16:50,348
Hey, would you mind grabbing me a beer?
362
00:16:50,373 --> 00:16:51,772
I'd get it myself, but, you know,
363
00:16:51,797 --> 00:16:54,531
the timing on this is crucial.
364
00:16:55,339 --> 00:16:57,042
Andy, can we talk?
365
00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:01,670
You mean right now, during
the crucial seasoning phase?
366
00:17:02,972 --> 00:17:04,573
Yeah.
367
00:17:04,598 --> 00:17:07,112
Uh... sure.
368
00:17:12,644 --> 00:17:14,449
I don't know how to say this.
369
00:17:14,474 --> 00:17:16,576
Well, you know, take your time
370
00:17:16,601 --> 00:17:18,503
and gather your thoughts.
371
00:17:20,991 --> 00:17:22,591
No, I need to get this out now.
372
00:17:22,659 --> 00:17:24,237
Yeah.
373
00:17:24,942 --> 00:17:28,198
The other night when Bonnie
and Adam were here, I just...
374
00:17:30,311 --> 00:17:32,144
I don't know, I-I was
really uncomfortable
375
00:17:32,169 --> 00:17:33,568
being around that kind of drinking.
376
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:37,886
Oh. Yeah, uh, sorry about that.
377
00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:39,910
We kind of went overboard.
378
00:17:40,521 --> 00:17:42,081
The thing is...
379
00:17:42,789 --> 00:17:45,523
it made me realize that I
want to have a sober home,
380
00:17:45,792 --> 00:17:48,393
and that includes... being with someone
381
00:17:48,418 --> 00:17:49,618
who doesn't drink.
382
00:17:51,350 --> 00:17:52,716
Oh.
383
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,769
This is hard, because
you're the best thing
384
00:17:57,794 --> 00:18:00,162
that's happened to me in a long time.
385
00:18:00,823 --> 00:18:02,229
Maybe ever.
386
00:18:03,644 --> 00:18:05,878
And it's not like I think
you have a drinking problem.
387
00:18:05,903 --> 00:18:08,073
I know you drink like a regular guy.
388
00:18:09,473 --> 00:18:13,167
But, honestly, I don't want
to kiss you and taste beer.
389
00:18:15,948 --> 00:18:17,556
Not that that's wrong for you.
390
00:18:17,581 --> 00:18:20,315
I mean, you have your way
of living, and I have mine.
391
00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:22,519
Maybe the two don't blend.
392
00:18:23,816 --> 00:18:26,254
Like-like a bad Long Island iced tea.
393
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:27,567
You know, I've had some good ones,
394
00:18:27,591 --> 00:18:28,790
I've had some bad ones,
395
00:18:28,815 --> 00:18:30,915
I've had a lot of 'em
because I'm an alcoholic.
396
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,507
And this just isn't gonna
work out between the two of us,
397
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,097
um, so goodbye.
398
00:18:40,331 --> 00:18:43,284
Or... I could just not drink.
399
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,003
What?
400
00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:51,060
I mean, if it makes you
uncomfortable, I won't drink.
401
00:18:51,949 --> 00:18:54,011
You can do that?
402
00:18:54,036 --> 00:18:55,369
Absolutely.
403
00:18:57,355 --> 00:19:00,589
Oh, my God. I love that
you would do that for me.
404
00:19:00,614 --> 00:19:01,680
Aw...
405
00:19:03,085 --> 00:19:05,686
And I hate you because you can.
406
00:19:14,324 --> 00:19:15,885
You know, I love Marjorie.
407
00:19:15,910 --> 00:19:17,432
And I know she's going
through a tough time,
408
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,335
and I'm gonna be there for
her no matter what it takes.
409
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,512
But I got to be honest.
410
00:19:20,537 --> 00:19:22,396
It is not easy. (chuckles)
411
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:23,909
I'm so stressed.
412
00:19:23,933 --> 00:19:25,617
I wake up every night in a cold sweat
413
00:19:25,641 --> 00:19:29,054
because I dreamt I accidentally
threw out the Valpak... again
414
00:19:31,736 --> 00:19:35,007
You know what?
You do get used to it.
415
00:19:35,031 --> 00:19:40,031
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
416
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:47,480
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