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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:02,580 --> 00:01:04,180 I think my period's coming. 2 00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:12,419 OK. 3 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,459 Hi. 4 00:01:13,460 --> 00:01:15,579 Are you all right? What's happened? Are you hurt? 5 00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:17,420 - No. - Good. 6 00:01:19,140 --> 00:01:20,299 Nice haircut. 7 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:21,420 It's better. 8 00:01:24,940 --> 00:01:26,019 Can I come in? 9 00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:27,539 Why didn't you text? 10 00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:29,019 Well, I just thought I'd pop by. 11 00:01:29,020 --> 00:01:32,099 - Tell the truth. - I need to speak to Martin. - Martin? 12 00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:34,659 - Martin. Martin! - Why on earth would you want to speak to... 13 00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:38,779 - Martin? - Hello! Hello! My wife in my study! Hello! 14 00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:40,259 Give me two. 15 00:01:40,260 --> 00:01:43,459 Gang bangs, Asian, I'd put a tenner on it. 16 00:01:43,460 --> 00:01:44,979 Finished. 17 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,139 Well, hello, you. 18 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:50,859 She wants to talk to you about something. 19 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,699 Well, it must be my lucky day. 20 00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:55,740 You said she only likes to talk to people she fancies. 21 00:01:57,860 --> 00:01:59,979 - Can you leave us? - Why? 22 00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:02,740 He's organising your surprise birthday party. 23 00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:08,859 You know I hate sur... 24 00:02:08,860 --> 00:02:09,900 OK. 25 00:02:12,060 --> 00:02:14,299 I have a week to organise that now. 26 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,539 Best of luck. 27 00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:16,659 Nice top. 28 00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:21,659 Thanks. Do you deal in sculptures as well as paintings and papier mache? 29 00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:23,740 Depends on the quality of the piece. 30 00:02:28,820 --> 00:02:30,859 Fuck me! 31 00:02:32,140 --> 00:02:34,220 - What a pair! - I know, right? 32 00:02:36,020 --> 00:02:37,219 Where d'you get this? 33 00:02:37,220 --> 00:02:38,899 Just a... 34 00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:41,379 Stole it from a market. 35 00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:43,099 It's quite a piece. 36 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:44,939 Who's the artist? 37 00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:46,579 Just a... 38 00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:47,939 ...market artist. 39 00:02:49,580 --> 00:02:52,499 If I sell it, I take 10%. Deal? 40 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:53,619 Deal. 41 00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:55,259 OK, well, 42 00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:57,259 I'll get her photographed now. 43 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,419 Don't tell Claire, please. 44 00:02:59,420 --> 00:03:00,699 Or what? 45 00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:01,939 Or I'll... 46 00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:03,579 I'll... 47 00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:05,660 You've got nothing on me, princess. 48 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,620 Or I'll tell her you were watching gang bangs. 49 00:03:11,260 --> 00:03:12,860 Please don't do that again. 50 00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:17,980 I wasn't, by the way. 51 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,139 Disappointing. 52 00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:42,499 Where did you get that? 53 00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:43,699 I brought it with me. 54 00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:45,939 No, you didn't. Give it back. 55 00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:47,739 Tight. 56 00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:49,139 Patch things up with Harry? 57 00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:51,019 Yeah, we're... 58 00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:52,419 We're engaged, so... 59 00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:53,579 God! What? 60 00:03:53,580 --> 00:03:55,179 No, we're not engaged! 61 00:03:55,180 --> 00:03:58,379 No, he's back at the flat packing up all his stuff again. 62 00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:01,179 I'm sorry. 63 00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:02,419 He really... 64 00:04:02,420 --> 00:04:04,419 ...used to make you laugh. 65 00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:06,699 He also used to say things like... 66 00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:08,379 You're not like other girls. 67 00:04:08,380 --> 00:04:09,739 You can... 68 00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:10,780 ...keep up. 69 00:04:12,660 --> 00:04:13,939 I like Harry. 70 00:04:13,940 --> 00:04:15,260 I liked his songs. 71 00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:29,300 I admire how much Harry commits to our break-ups. 72 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,779 I mean, this is a new detail, 73 00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:36,739 but he does usually go the extra mile. 74 00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:39,540 A few times, he's even cleaned the whole flat. 75 00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:46,779 Like it's a crime scene. 76 00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:48,379 I've considered timing a break-up 77 00:04:48,380 --> 00:04:50,619 for when the flat needs a bit of a going over. 78 00:04:57,980 --> 00:04:59,700 I don't think this is working. 79 00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,379 What? 80 00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:07,380 But he always leaves... 81 00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:13,699 ...him 82 00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:15,299 to come back for. 83 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:18,460 Got to think about all the people I can have sex with now. 84 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,419 I'm not obsessed with sex, 85 00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:25,139 I just can't stop thinking about it. 86 00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:27,139 The performance of it. 87 00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:29,059 The awkwardness of it. 88 00:05:29,060 --> 00:05:31,139 The drama of it. 89 00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:34,499 The moment you realise someone wants 90 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,500 your body. 91 00:05:37,780 --> 00:05:39,420 Not so much the feeling of it. 92 00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:44,940 Probably got about 48 hours before Harry comes back. 93 00:05:47,540 --> 00:05:48,620 I should get on it. 94 00:05:49,860 --> 00:05:52,299 I took half an hour trying to look nice 95 00:05:52,300 --> 00:05:54,979 and I ended up looking amazing. 96 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,299 Just one of those days. 97 00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:59,019 Gorgeous, fresh-faced, new top, little bit sexy, 98 00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:01,699 on my way to open my cafe and... 99 00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,339 God. 100 00:06:03,340 --> 00:06:05,659 Yeah, you check me out, chub-chub, 101 00:06:05,660 --> 00:06:07,779 because it's never gonna happen. 102 00:06:07,780 --> 00:06:10,339 God, he can't believe how attractive I am. 103 00:06:10,340 --> 00:06:13,139 Kind of worried I'm going to make a sex offender out of the poor guy. 104 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:15,379 Here we go. This better be good. Here we go. 105 00:06:15,380 --> 00:06:16,780 Hooker slag. 106 00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:19,820 Oi! 107 00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:37,420 Dropped my cucumber. 108 00:06:42,980 --> 00:06:44,180 Just dropped my... 109 00:06:48,980 --> 00:06:51,699 Could I get a cheese sandwich to go, please? 110 00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:52,740 Sure. 111 00:06:56,380 --> 00:07:02,099 That'll be �12.55, please. 112 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,699 London, eh? 113 00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:04,900 Thanks. 114 00:07:10,340 --> 00:07:12,620 Where do I recognise her? Is she famous? 115 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:19,219 Boo's death hit the papers. 116 00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:20,899 Local cafe girl gets hit by bike 117 00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:21,939 and a car 118 00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:23,819 and another bike. 119 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:25,939 No. She... She used to work here. 120 00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:31,780 I'm sorry, I don't have any change. 121 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:43,540 The next man who walks in here is getting ridden to death. 122 00:07:45,620 --> 00:07:48,139 - Dad! - Hi. 123 00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:49,419 Not ideal. 124 00:07:50,780 --> 00:07:52,539 How are you, 125 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:53,980 darling? 126 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,699 You busy? 127 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:57,779 A bit. 128 00:07:57,780 --> 00:07:59,220 Well, I won't keep you... 129 00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:04,059 I just wanted to talk about, you know, when you... 130 00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:06,259 When you dropped in the other night. 131 00:08:06,260 --> 00:08:09,579 - OK. - I can't help thinking that I... 132 00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:11,139 - We... - Yeah? 133 00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,500 I know that we... 134 00:08:13,940 --> 00:08:15,940 ...don't have much of a chance to... 135 00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:19,419 Did you take the sculpture? 136 00:08:19,420 --> 00:08:20,580 Did you... 137 00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:23,499 ...take the sculpture? 138 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:24,540 Did you take it? 139 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,659 No. 140 00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:29,699 What sculpture? 141 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:32,619 Right, fine, good. 142 00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:34,860 Good, you said no and... 143 00:08:36,260 --> 00:08:38,139 ...that means I can go. 144 00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:39,420 All right, great. 145 00:08:42,860 --> 00:08:44,899 Are you ha... Are you healthy? 146 00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:53,099 Hey. Do you do, like, hot organic-y food? 147 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,659 Of course. 148 00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,299 What would you like? 149 00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,859 - Like, risotto. - Yeah. 150 00:08:58,860 --> 00:09:00,499 Sure. Grab a seat. 151 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:22,500 Hey. 152 00:09:24,220 --> 00:09:25,259 Hi. 153 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:26,579 Hey. 154 00:09:26,580 --> 00:09:27,619 Hey. 155 00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:29,019 It's nice to see you. 156 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,379 You, too. 157 00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:32,299 Fucked me up the arse. 158 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:33,819 What are you getting? 159 00:09:33,820 --> 00:09:36,139 Just these. For my... 160 00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,020 ...tiny, bleeding vagina. 161 00:09:39,140 --> 00:09:40,179 Hot. 162 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,899 - You? - Stock cubes. 163 00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:43,020 Hot. 164 00:09:44,060 --> 00:09:45,579 I hope it's a light flow. 165 00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:48,299 It never is. 166 00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,339 It never... 167 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:51,380 ...is. 168 00:09:52,780 --> 00:09:54,539 Listen, 169 00:09:54,540 --> 00:09:56,419 you around later? 170 00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:59,219 Yes, fucking yes, please, yes. 171 00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:00,499 Yes. 172 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,699 Cool. 173 00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:02,740 Cool. 174 00:10:09,220 --> 00:10:10,739 Yes! 175 00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:13,659 I'm so happy with my body now. 176 00:10:13,660 --> 00:10:15,899 I don't have to define myself by how I look 177 00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:18,499 because I've just got a fucking great body. 178 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:21,739 - Yeah, I can do other stuff now! - That's so great! 179 00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:23,939 Mike wants to start trying for a baby. 180 00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:25,539 - OK. - No... 181 00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:28,459 I can't blow this body on a baby, Steph. 182 00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:30,380 I'm going to have to leave him. 183 00:10:33,860 --> 00:10:35,939 Shit. 184 00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:37,459 That is not hygienic. 185 00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:39,699 - Sorry. - Gross. 186 00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:41,379 We're leaving now. 187 00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:43,419 I suppose you should meet Hillary. 188 00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:44,940 Two years ago, I... 189 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:49,059 OK. The most important thing is, if you don't like it, 190 00:10:49,060 --> 00:10:51,579 - we can't take it back, OK? - OK. 191 00:10:51,580 --> 00:10:52,699 Happy birthday. 192 00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:54,299 I'm sorry, I panicked. 193 00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,659 As long as I can wear it or eat it, I'm happy. 194 00:10:56,660 --> 00:10:59,499 You can do both of those things. 195 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,299 My God, did you get me a... 196 00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:03,219 - What is this? - I... 197 00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:05,299 - What the... What is... - I don't know. 198 00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,339 - What is it? - Something to love. 199 00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:10,460 She's beautiful! 200 00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:13,899 You idiot! 201 00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:15,540 Escape artist. 202 00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:23,779 I don't feel anything about guinea pigs, 203 00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:25,019 they're pointless, 204 00:11:25,020 --> 00:11:27,379 but Boo took Hillary very seriously as a gift 205 00:11:27,380 --> 00:11:30,700 and, soon, everything became guinea pig-related. 206 00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:36,220 This is an excellent one. 207 00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:40,860 Drink? 208 00:11:45,820 --> 00:11:48,379 Look, I'm sorry about the mess. 209 00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:49,459 No problem. 210 00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:52,379 Do you want some prosciutto with that? 211 00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:01,939 So reliable. 212 00:12:01,940 --> 00:12:03,259 Utterly inaccessible. 213 00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:04,939 Relentlessly profound. 214 00:12:04,940 --> 00:12:07,979 All he wants is to get you in the bath and ask questions like... 215 00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:09,300 What are you afraid of? 216 00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:13,219 And you find yourself saying things like... 217 00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:14,819 I guess... 218 00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:16,700 ...losing the currency of youth. 219 00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:22,460 Ask me a question. 220 00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:26,660 When did you realise you were so good looking? 221 00:12:28,820 --> 00:12:31,299 I knew I was different when I was about nine, 222 00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,419 but shit got real around 11. 223 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,819 Shit got real? 224 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,379 You know... 225 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:37,700 Aunts got weird. 226 00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:43,539 I have another question. 227 00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:44,580 OK. 228 00:12:45,740 --> 00:12:47,140 Do you ever feel lonely? 229 00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:51,299 Yeah. 230 00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:53,099 Of course. 231 00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,099 Do you? 232 00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:56,260 Never. 233 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,380 Do you want some pineapple? 234 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:05,940 Yeah. 235 00:13:13,580 --> 00:13:15,140 God, yeah! 236 00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:18,379 They're so small! 237 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,739 They are so small! 238 00:13:20,740 --> 00:13:23,579 - What? - They're so small! 239 00:13:23,580 --> 00:13:25,139 - So... - Small! 240 00:13:25,140 --> 00:13:28,219 God, they are so fucking tiny! 241 00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:29,539 Yeah, I guess they're... 242 00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:33,499 God, they're hardly even there! I mean, what the fuck even are they? 243 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,339 Bit much. 244 00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:36,740 Excuse me! 245 00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:42,020 Yeah! 246 00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:45,539 I'm having a Harry panic. 247 00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:47,739 Madame Ovary's telling me to run back to safe place, 248 00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:49,419 I can make baby in safe place, 249 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:51,020 but you've got to ride it out. 250 00:13:52,220 --> 00:13:54,660 Mustn't call Ha... 251 00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,060 Thanks for coming. 252 00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:04,899 That's OK. 253 00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:06,379 Are you OK? 254 00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:08,460 Your message sounded urgent. 255 00:14:11,020 --> 00:14:12,339 Were you busy? 256 00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:14,219 - No, I was in the interval... - Cool. 257 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:16,499 - ...of Cats. - OK. - The musical. 258 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:17,539 Was it good? 259 00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:18,979 Really good, actually. 260 00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:20,020 Really good. 261 00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:23,819 - Sorry for interrupting. - No, that's OK. 262 00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:27,099 I...I got the feeling it wasn't going to end well for the cats, 263 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:30,900 so probably good to remember them like that before they all... 264 00:14:32,060 --> 00:14:33,779 Sorry.... 265 00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:34,820 Are you OK? 266 00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:37,579 Who were you with? 267 00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:38,820 A work friend. 268 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:41,540 A girl. 269 00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:48,060 I... 270 00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:53,620 I found this. 271 00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:02,059 Thanks. 272 00:15:02,060 --> 00:15:03,700 I didn't realise I'd left it. 273 00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:11,380 Why's your hair wet? 274 00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:15,019 Don't look at me like that. 275 00:15:15,020 --> 00:15:17,139 Like what? Like what? 276 00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:20,419 Look, I don't want to sound cold or cruel or... You know... 277 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,819 And I don't want to think I'm just off happy at the theatre 278 00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:24,179 all the time, either, I'm not, 279 00:15:24,180 --> 00:15:25,859 but... 280 00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:27,699 I'm not going to... I just... 281 00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:30,259 If this is about us getting back together, I was serious, 282 00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:32,459 this time I'm not just going to come running back. 283 00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:34,780 I really just need some time away from... 284 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,099 I'm so glad you called. 285 00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:40,540 I'm so glad you picked up. 286 00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:43,300 I've missed you. 287 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:46,700 I've missed you. 288 00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,860 My gosh, you feel good. 289 00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:54,739 I wish he'd just fuck me. 290 00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:56,699 All he wants to do is make love. 291 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:57,739 Are you OK? 292 00:15:57,740 --> 00:15:59,860 Yeah, I'm really good. I'm amazing. 293 00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,299 He's wasting me. 294 00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:07,379 I was once fucking this guy who would breathe on every thrust... 295 00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:08,659 You're so young! 296 00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:09,859 You're so young! 297 00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:12,699 I masturbate about that all the time. 298 00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:15,339 I masturbate a lot these days. 299 00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:16,940 Especially when I'm bored. 300 00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:20,579 Or angry. 301 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,739 Or upset. 302 00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:22,859 Can we just... 303 00:16:22,860 --> 00:16:24,459 Or happy. 304 00:16:24,460 --> 00:16:25,859 Yeah. 305 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:29,099 Yeah. 306 00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,380 Amazing. 307 00:16:31,460 --> 00:16:34,219 - Shall I? - No, could you just... 308 00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:35,579 Just stay there. 309 00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:38,579 No, don't. Just... 310 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,419 Yeah. 311 00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:44,019 Yeah. 312 00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:45,899 Yes. Just... 313 00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:47,499 Just... 314 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:48,620 God. 315 00:17:11,580 --> 00:17:14,060 Look, I think we should stop masturbating. 316 00:17:17,860 --> 00:17:20,939 And don't say anything yet, I just... 317 00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:24,019 I just think it might help us focus on each other. 318 00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:25,659 You know, be more present. 319 00:17:25,660 --> 00:17:27,660 Really successful couples do it. 320 00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,659 I've hidden our vibrators. 321 00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:33,699 Our? 322 00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:35,139 I thought it might be fun. 323 00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:36,379 To find them? 324 00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:38,140 No, just to try and not... 325 00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:41,539 ...touch ourselves, to try and... 326 00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:43,859 ...save our touches... 327 00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:46,739 ...for each other. I mean, what do you think? 328 00:17:46,740 --> 00:17:48,699 Well, I think you're being really sexy. 329 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:52,259 - Don't! - I'm joking. 330 00:17:52,260 --> 00:17:54,339 I never masturbate. 331 00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:55,420 I don't know how. 332 00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:01,779 Yeah, also, I thought we should try and surprise each other 333 00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:03,939 once every day, just a, you know... 334 00:18:03,940 --> 00:18:06,259 A sweet little something, just to keep it... 335 00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:08,539 - You know? - Are you getting this out of a book? 336 00:18:08,540 --> 00:18:12,219 I've already planned your first surprise, so... 337 00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:14,940 Don't eat too much before dinner. 338 00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:21,580 See you later. 339 00:18:22,780 --> 00:18:25,620 And I will see you later, too. 340 00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:38,059 Hi. 341 00:18:38,060 --> 00:18:40,659 Just thought I'd pop by for some lunch. 342 00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:42,019 Bit weird. 343 00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:43,420 Yes, well... 344 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:48,659 How are you? 345 00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:50,299 Quiet day? 346 00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:51,659 Yeah, I'm fine. 347 00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:53,379 You OK? You look stressed. 348 00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:54,740 Well, I'm successful, so... 349 00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:58,139 Do you have rye bread? 350 00:18:58,140 --> 00:19:01,899 No, but I have some normal bread you can puke up after. 351 00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:03,699 Great. 352 00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:04,979 What do you want on it? 353 00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:07,499 Just tomatoes is fine. 354 00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,219 Just tomatoes? 355 00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:11,179 Just a tomato sandwich? 356 00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:13,179 Yes. Is there a problem? 357 00:19:13,180 --> 00:19:14,460 No. 358 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:19,059 Listen, I don't want to know anything about this surprise party, 359 00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:21,019 but, if you could just, 360 00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:24,179 have it at mine this Friday at 7:30, that'd be great. 361 00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:26,739 I can organise it and act surprised 362 00:19:26,740 --> 00:19:28,819 but, if you could just... 363 00:19:28,820 --> 00:19:30,819 Do you know what, why don't I just do it? 364 00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:33,699 I can organise it, do the food, act surprised, 365 00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:35,579 and just take it off your hands. 366 00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:38,539 - I mean, I can see that you're busy, so... - OK, if you want. 367 00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:41,539 Well, I don't want to, but I think it would be easier for everyone 368 00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:42,979 - if I could just... - OK. 369 00:19:42,980 --> 00:19:45,379 I mean, I've done it, it's done. 370 00:19:45,380 --> 00:19:47,380 It's this Friday at 7:30 at mine. 371 00:19:48,460 --> 00:19:49,500 Great. 372 00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:56,659 How behind are you? 373 00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:58,419 If it's money that you need... 374 00:19:58,420 --> 00:20:00,699 I don't need money. 375 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,260 That'll be �25, please. 376 00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:06,500 London... 377 00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:08,899 Thanks. 378 00:20:12,020 --> 00:20:14,699 Can't believe that thing's still alive. 379 00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:17,179 Any news on Harry? 380 00:20:17,180 --> 00:20:18,739 Yeah, we're back together. 381 00:20:18,740 --> 00:20:20,180 God, I can't keep up. 382 00:20:27,580 --> 00:20:28,780 Hello! 383 00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:31,980 Harry? 384 00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:40,019 Shit. 385 00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:42,499 Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise. 386 00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:35,219 Surprise! 387 00:21:36,980 --> 00:21:38,499 It's me! It's me! It's me! 388 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:40,859 Why would you do that? I thought I was going to get raped! 389 00:21:40,860 --> 00:21:43,699 I'm sorry! Baby, I'm sorry! I thought you wanted a surprise! 390 00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:45,019 It was a ninja surprise! 391 00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:46,219 My God, my heart! 392 00:21:46,220 --> 00:21:48,020 I'm shaking so much! My God! 393 00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:52,819 - My God! - - My God! 394 00:21:52,820 --> 00:21:54,779 OK. It's OK. Are you OK? 395 00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:57,219 My God. 396 00:21:57,220 --> 00:21:58,859 Did you have a good day? 397 00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:01,339 I did, yeah. Fine, thanks. I'm so sorry. 398 00:22:01,340 --> 00:22:04,379 I'm sorry. I didn't think you were going to react like that. 399 00:22:04,380 --> 00:22:05,899 I'm... 400 00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:07,699 I'm sorry, it was a joke. 401 00:22:07,700 --> 00:22:09,340 It was a good joke. 402 00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:13,259 Jesus. 403 00:22:13,260 --> 00:22:15,339 I thought you'd be later. 404 00:22:15,340 --> 00:22:17,659 My God! 405 00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:19,699 God, sorry! I just had to get that out! 406 00:22:19,700 --> 00:22:21,620 I'm still in shock! I'm still shaking! 407 00:22:25,540 --> 00:22:26,899 That was horrible. 408 00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:28,259 It was a surprise. 409 00:22:28,260 --> 00:22:29,499 I know. 410 00:22:29,500 --> 00:22:30,619 Thank you. 411 00:22:30,620 --> 00:22:31,820 It's fine. 412 00:22:33,940 --> 00:22:35,779 Shall I go and get us some wine? 413 00:22:37,100 --> 00:22:38,140 OK. 414 00:22:44,180 --> 00:22:45,539 I know what you look like! 415 00:22:45,540 --> 00:22:46,899 I know what you took! 416 00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:48,700 That is the last time! 417 00:22:51,220 --> 00:22:54,020 Splashed out on a special bottle for a special... 418 00:22:57,420 --> 00:22:58,460 Harry? 419 00:22:59,620 --> 00:23:02,259 I had to go into the history on my computer 420 00:23:02,260 --> 00:23:05,980 to find something I'd seen on the H&M website this morning and... 421 00:23:07,460 --> 00:23:10,259 I don't want to point fingers but... 422 00:23:10,260 --> 00:23:12,219 ...anal, gang bang, 423 00:23:12,220 --> 00:23:14,219 mature, big cock, 424 00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:16,379 small tits, hentai, 425 00:23:16,380 --> 00:23:18,099 Asian, teen, 426 00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:20,059 MILF, big butts, 427 00:23:20,060 --> 00:23:21,459 lesbian, gay, 428 00:23:21,460 --> 00:23:22,739 facial, fetish, 429 00:23:22,740 --> 00:23:24,619 bukake, young and old, 430 00:23:24,620 --> 00:23:27,699 swallow, rough, voyeur 431 00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:29,020 and public. 432 00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:36,020 Why are you being so sexy? 433 00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:39,220 Don't make me hate you. 434 00:23:40,380 --> 00:23:42,100 Loving you's painful enough. 435 00:23:45,940 --> 00:23:47,020 OK, sorry... 436 00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:51,059 ...but I really think you should write that down. 437 00:23:51,060 --> 00:23:53,019 I know it's not appropriate but I really think 438 00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:55,059 you should write that down. It's really good... 439 00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:57,059 - I'm not going to write down... - No, I'm serious! 440 00:23:57,060 --> 00:23:59,659 For your songs and stuff. It's perfect! It's poetic yet real. 441 00:23:59,660 --> 00:24:00,700 Serious. 442 00:24:11,380 --> 00:24:12,819 Don't... 443 00:24:12,820 --> 00:24:14,299 ...make me... 444 00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:17,699 - Hate you. - Yeah, I know, thank you. 445 00:24:17,700 --> 00:24:20,700 Loving you is painful... 446 00:24:22,940 --> 00:24:24,340 What am I doing? 447 00:24:26,540 --> 00:24:28,699 Look, there's someone at work who loves me. 448 00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:31,539 Well, she told me she loves me and I said we couldn't be together 449 00:24:31,540 --> 00:24:32,940 because I had to know. 450 00:24:34,700 --> 00:24:36,020 Do you want to be alone? 451 00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:42,140 You will never see me again. 452 00:24:44,220 --> 00:24:47,979 I'll always love you but I just can't take it any more. 453 00:24:47,980 --> 00:24:50,700 I don't hate you, I'm scared for you. 454 00:24:53,140 --> 00:24:54,860 He's going to write that down. 455 00:25:02,740 --> 00:25:04,899 Don't hate you... 456 00:25:04,900 --> 00:25:05,940 Scared... 457 00:25:13,060 --> 00:25:17,659 I'm going to go pack my things up from the bedroom again, but... 458 00:25:17,660 --> 00:25:19,579 I'm... I'm not going to clean. 459 00:25:19,580 --> 00:25:21,460 It's still in pretty good shape, so... 460 00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:26,379 If I don't see you after that, 461 00:25:26,380 --> 00:25:27,420 goodbye. 462 00:25:37,780 --> 00:25:38,820 Forever. 463 00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:46,460 He'll be back. 29927

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