Original subtitles

[music playing]

[coughing]

This is not working.

Oh my God, stop.

Where have you been, Katie?

Adam!

Dude, what happened?

I dunno, nothing.

Hey! Do you wanna get out of here?

Could steal a six-pack, throw bottles off Indian Rock?

Brad!

Come hang out in the hot tub.

It's okay, um...

I was gonna leave anyway, um...

I'll call you tomorrow about Michigan.

I thought I told you...

I'm going to Tahoe with Sandy and people.

Adam!

But Brad always comes to the lake house.

Well, it'll just be the three of us.

Wait, Casey's not coming?

She's got some new boyfriend...

Mark...

She wants to spend the summer in New York with him.

I told her that we'd love to meet him...

[stifles a laugh]

Can you guys just... go alone, this year?

I can stay here.

Oh, I don't think that's a good idea.

Why?

You're depressed, honey.

You haven't been yourself for months.

I'm pretty sure I'm myself.

Well, Daddy's noticed it, too.

We both think you're a little down in the dumpies.

I'm fine.

You're not fine, okay? You're not fine!

You shuffle around the house

like some kind of blind mole rat.

And I know you think that you need to shave, honey,

but it will only make your acne worse.

What if ... I visited Casey in New York?

Fuck a visit, just... come for the whole summer.

Really?

Yeah. Our fourth roommate bailed,

he threw some kind of hissy fit about the room.

So well yeah... I mean...

Why don't you tell mom the room is gonna be...

$900.

Actually $1,000.

Who else are you living with?

This girl, June...

She uh, goes to Columbia, too.

And uh, a guy from Craigslist.

I don't actually know him that well, but he seems cool, so...

No Mark?

Very funny.

[laughs]

Mom's dying to meet him.

Oh, Mark...

man of my dreams.

How's things with, uh, what's her name? Leah?

Oh, we actually just broke up.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's all right. I, um...

kinda already like somebody new, so...

Jesus Christ, you've had like,

five girlfriends since you've moved there?

I know! [laughs]

Anyway, tell mom that...

you're coming to New York to have a, uh...

a cultural experience

to write your personal essay on, or some kinda bullshit.

-Thanks! -Yeah, whatever...

Just don't be a little twerp.

Whatever, loser.

-You're the loser. -You're the loser.

-Loser. -Loser.

[music playing]

[scoffs]

They asked me to take the ring out, but...

Fuck that.

I'm not working for fucking homophobes.

Mm-mm.

I should make enough money with the comic book shop

and then being a guinea pig for the PMS study.

That's why I have the, uh...

urine jug in the bathroom.

Oh! That's cool, I don't mind.

I wasn't asking.

Hey! So, I got the Film Forum job.

It's shit pay, but you know,

I get to see all the movies I want for free

and I can hook you guys up too, so...

Cool.

What about you, man? You working?

Um... Um...

maybe.

Adam is still in high school

and will be bumming off of our parents.

We should go soon.

Casey's not there, I'm going to kill myself.

Isn't Casey, like, Schuyler's best friend?

Wait, Casey, you have a crush on someone named Casey?

Yes, I do.

I've got a crush on somebody named Casey.

Ethan, you wanna go to an L Word party?

No, I, I'm working on something.

What about you, Adam?

I know you like the L Word even if it's for the wrong reasons.

Yeah, sure, whatever. [laughs]

Aight. Who wants to bet

Tina's gonna fuck a guy this episode?

Fuckin' Tina.

Yeah. I mean seriously,

no one wants to watch Tina trolling for dick.

[laughing] Traitor.

I always knew she'd turn straight.

[laughing]

Sorry, it's true.

Yo, all I care about is seeing Carmen fuckin' naked.

When do Alice and Shane get to fuck?

They should fuck, right?

Casey works at American Apparel.

So he gets like, crazy discounts.

Like 40%.

[laughing]

Cool.

Wait, wait, you're, you're a guy?

Yeah.

I thought you were gay.

Adam, shut up!

Ugh. Dana better not die in this episode.

Shh. Stop talking too much.

You're my friend, all right?

So... if you have something to say,

you should just say it.

Okay, I'm sorry,

but we need to talk about Max's facial hair.

That Brillo pad glued to his face.

I've been on T for six months and I have, like, seven hairs.

And Max has been on it for like a week and a half...

full grown beard.

That shit would not look normal on a bio guy.

Cis guy.

You understand...

I've never felt comfortable in a girl's body.

So removing your breasts and changing yourself into a man

is gonna solve all your problems?

I know that won't happen.

But people will start to see me for who I am.

So...

What?

He asked me to see a midnight screening

of Donnie Darko on Saturday.

That's cool.

So Casey's like that guy on the show, right?

Like he used to be a girl?

Now he's a guy?

Yeah, he's trans.

Yeah, but he's not like...

He's not like a real guy, with like a...

like, a penis.

Trans guys are real guys, Adam.

It has nothing to do with having a penis, okay?

Okay.

Yeah, but if you're gay, then like...

I'm queer, whatever.

(Casey) June, look.

-He texted me. (June) Gosh.

(TV) For a moment, I would consider

sleeping on the shit-stained futon down the scary basement,

but couldn't go through with it.

It would've been way too traumatic.

It would've been...

[knocking]

Can I get your opinion on something real quick?

Okay, so just... check out these two sequences

and tell me which one you think is better, okay?

I don't want to.

(Ethan) Okay... that...

Or...

I don't want to.

I don't... I don't...

I don't get it, what's the difference?

Well, I'm not gonna tell you.

I mean, that's...

That's the point, it's not, what's actually different.

It's about... what you feel.

Which one of these gave you a better feeling?

The first one.

Awesome.

So, who's the, who's the girl?

The, the girl is Rachel.

My ex from high school.

Probably never really get over her.

Maybe that sounds like dumb kid stuff...

no offense.

Anyway, what about you?

Got a girlfriend or a boyfriend?

Girlfriend!

Cool.

I mean, I, I, I don't have one...

I'd, I'd like one... I...

Y'know...

That whole situation with June, Casey, and Boy Casey

is pretty tragic.

I know.

Like, why does June hang around them?

It's like, it's like she likes torturing herself.

What do you think of Boy Casey?

[laughs]

He's kind of annoying, right?

Like... he's always

looking at himself in the mirror...

And all him and Casey ever talk about is just him.

Hey!

Think we're gonna go to The Hole tonight,

you guys wanna come?

Nah.

-Nah. -All right.

Dude...

You should go.

I... I don't even know where they're going.

Come on, you're never gonna meet a girl

just watching TV on that scabies futon all night.

Your future girlfriend is probably at home...

Getting ready to go to the club right now.

I don't have an ID.

Here.

We don't exactly look alike.

They'll barely check it, trust me.

Go ahead!

Hey! Have you guys been here before?

What's it like?

It's a dyke club.

It's full of dykes.

(Schuyler) Place is getting too popular.

(Boy Casey) It's cool.

My boy Riley works the door.

[music playing]

I can't do this...

Stop, we can't have this conversation...

I can't have this conversation with you...

I can't have this conversation with you...

And over and over and over again...

Yeah, I know! I'm fucking over it, too.

I can't fucking take it...

What do you want?

Uh...

-Hey! Su Jin! -What?

Hey! Two whiskey sours?

You're awesome!

It's my birthday.

Happy birthday!

The big 3-0.

This is the year my poetry really gets going.

Cool.

Can I tell you a secret?

I wanna be a star.

Oh, oh, okay.

So...

Fucking...

Hot!

We need to take this shit to the bathroom.

So... cute.

You like that?

-Yeah? -Uh huh.

You're packing.

So hot.

Yeah... yeah.

Oh!

Fuck me right here.

Yeah.

Feel how wet I am.

You feel how wet I am?

Yeah?

Fuck me with that dick of yours.

Do you, do you think we should?

I have a, I think I have a, I have a condom.

Oh, yeah.

Wait, what?

What? [laughs]

Condom? What, is it dirty?

Is it still dirty?

Did you fuck another girl tonight, huh?

-No! -Naughty.

-Mm-hmm. -Yeah.

Wouldn't come here packing

if you didn't want to use that.

Don't be shy.

I love tranny cock.

Um...

Um...

uh, hold on. Uh, I think, um...

I think I, I have to go. I'm sorry.

-Um. -What?

No, yes, I have to, I have to go. I'm sorry.

[retching]

He doesn't deserve you, okay? Fuck him.

Let's just take a cab home.

I'll pay.

I'm such a fucking idiot.

[phone beeping]

What's up?

Yo! What's up, bro?

So how is New York?

I dunno, it's boring.

Um, I actually, um...

hooked up with this hot older chick.

No shit!

-What happened? -I...

y'know, just like, hooked up and... yeah...

How was Tahoe?

It sucked.

Sandy dumped me for Colin on the first day.

-Shit. -Yeah.

I miss you, man.

Really?

Actually...

I should come to New York.

Your girl...

does she have any hot, older friends?

Uh...

Uh... Of, of course, man.

She has friends, like...

-You... -Cool.

I'll ask my parents.

I mean, uh, about coming?

Here, in New York?

Yeah, dude!

When I get to New York...

I'll come... in New York.

[laughing]

You get it?

(Casey) Adam!

Come help.

Here...

You can make a sign that says,

"End heterosexual privilege now."

Uh... okay.

I can't believe I might actually

meet Hazel at the march tomorrow.

Wait, who's Hazel again?

Just like...

the hottest girl in the world.

Boy Casey's probably gonna be there at the rally, too, but...

Fuck him.

Anyway, I hear he's like...

gay now, or something, so...

You should make a sign that says,

"I won't get married until my sister can."

Yeah, okay.

Ethan, you coming to the rally tomorrow?

You and Adam can be the straight ally brigade.

(Ethan) No, I hate crowds.

Anyway, I...

Kinda have a date.

What?

Yeah, I wasn't gonna go, but...

She's really cute.

Who is she?

Just... a friend from work's girlfriend's friend.

Or something, you know...

It's like a double date, I think.

Well, does your friend's girlfriend's friend have a...

have a friend?

You know, I actually, um...

I should text them and make plans, so, yeah...

June...

pretty good, right?

[chanting] We will not discriminate!

No to hate! No to hate!

We will not discriminate!

No to hate! No to hate!

We will not discriminate!

No to hate! No to hate!

We will not discriminate!

No to hate! No to hate!

You guys have to tell me immediately

if you see Hazel or Boy Casey.

I don't even know what Hazel looks like.

¶ Here comes the bride... ¶

¶ all dressed in white... ¶

¶ No one can stop us from fighting for our rights. ¶

¶ Here comes the bride all dressed in white. ¶

¶ No one can stop us from fighting for our rights. ¶

¶ Here comes the bride... ¶

¶ all dressed in white... ¶

Oh, there's Boy Casey.

-Yeah! -What is he doing, though?

Uh, hey.

-You're marching? -Yeah,

I mean, I thought you were, too.

I said I was going to the march.

I thought you knew what was up.

Hey!

We're Queers Against Gay Marriage.

Here's our statement.

Uh... Thanks.

Hazel...

Hi, I'm um, Casey.

Nice to meet you.

[laughs]

I don't get it, why are you against gay marriage?

Because we're against the assimilationist

homo-normalization of the LGBTQQIA movement!

What we're against is the prioritization of gay marriage

in the queer political movement.

We should be focusing on immigration reform,

keeping trans people safe, changing the prison system,

not whether or not rich white gays

get the wedding they always dreamed of.

Yeah, but gay marriage isn't just about weddings...

I mean, whether we like it or not,

marriage holds a lot of symbolic and economic value.

(Schuyler) You guys coming to Carlisle's tonight?

His parents are out of town this weekend.

Carlisle's such a little faggot, right?

(Casey) Yeah, we'll be there.

Well, I guess we should, um, help...

pass these out?

[music playing]

Woop, sorry.

Come on, she's sweet...

Hey, Adam.

Do you see any girls here you like?

Bet some of them are bi.

Um... maybe.

Why don't we take a lap?

Do you really think like a,

like a girl would want to hook up with me here?

Uh... no.

I just said that so we could get away from June.

Can't hang around the food table all night.

Yeah, but do you think, like, I dunno,

like maybe someone, would like wanna hook up with me?

Are you on crack?

Everyone here is like, way older than you and gay.

Everyone enjoying themselves so far?

Yeah! Totally.

Thank you so much for having us, this is great.

That boy is fine!

Excuse me. [laughs]

Carlisle is such a little faggot.

You just said that 'cause Schuyler said that.

What?

Schuyler said that.

Earlier today.

You're a follower.

You copy everything everyone does and it's,

it's pathetic.

Go find your own fucking life then, okay?

Do you think that I want you

following me around all the time?

What are you even doing here?

At least I belong here.

Hey cutie.

Hi!

I'm Hazel.

Yeah, we met... earlier today.

Oh, I'm sorry, just my little brother.

Don't know what he's doing here.

I wanna fuck you tonight.

I really want you to fuck me.

I wanna fuck you while other people watch.

All right, I'm, I'm out.

(Gillian) Yeah... (Claire) Strange, right.

(Claire) Yeah. (Gillian) It was right there.

Hey, what's up, guys?

Hey.

Yeah, so those two definitely fucked at Camp Trans...

Wow.

I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry.

-Hold on... Hold... -Oh my God.

Um...?

I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry.

-I tripped on the... -You didn't trip!

You literally just turned around and threw your drink on her.

I wanted... I wanted to talk.

[laughs]

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

So, what did you want to talk to me about?

I, I dunno.

Well, who do you know here...

the usual...

Are those guys your friends?

Yeah.

Yeah, they're my, they're my, they're my bros.

Cool.

I mean...

just... never live with a couple.

I love Claire and all, but...

It's kinda hell on earth.

Yeah...

I live with my sister.

And a girl who's like totally in love with her.

Yeah, but it's not like, reciprocated.

If you can imagine something worse.

Well, at least then everyone's miserable, you know?

Instead of just like...

me hiding alone and...

in my room while the happy couple's

having the romantic dinner in the living room.

I spend a lot of time alone in my room.

I, I think they're convinced

that I probably am just masturbating constantly.

I mean... yeah... [laughs]

But... never more than... twice a day, right?

Yeah... never more than twice a day.

[laughing]

I have to go to the bathroom.

But, um...

Don't go anywhere, okay?

Oh, no, no, I wo- I won't.

Who was that?

Her name's Gillian.

And...?

What? What? I like her.

Does she know how old you are?

No.

I told her I go to Berkeley and if she asks,

I'm gonna say that I'm 20.

And if you tell her I'm not I swear to God,

I'll tell mom and dad everything.

I guess we'll see how long that lasts.

I'm leaving with Hazel.

I'm gonna... catch the C to Bedstuy.

I'm uh... um...

JMZ Bushwick?

Yeah.

Do you know that's like a mile away?

Oh...

um...

Would you wanna hang out again sometime?

Yes!

Cool.

Oh, lemme, uh...

lemme get your number.

Okay.

I feel...

like...

I don't want to mess this up... um...

I've never...

dated a trans guy before.

Like I've...

Only ever had girlfriends.

And... I think I'm open...I mean...

I know I'm open to it.

I just...

thought I should... tell you?

Yeah...

um...

Yeah! It's no, it's okay.

I never really dated...

too so...

Really?

Yeah.

See you later, okay?

[knocking]

(Ethan) Yeah, come in.

(Adam) Hey!

So, how was your date?

(Ethan) Sucked.

(Adam) What? Well, what happened?

(Ethan) She wasn't into me.

That's... that's crazy.

You're like every girl's...

like, dream.

[laughs]

-Oh, man... -What?

It...

Hey, they're uh...

They're having a revival of Touch of Evil at my theater.

Do you wanna get out of here?

How was the rally?

I... I met a girl.

Seriously?

[laughs]

Yeah.

Yeah, we're going out again... this... Saturday.

That's awesome, man.

I lied to her.

About my age.

How old is she?

Uh... 21, 22...

That's not that big a difference.

I mean, it's just a summer thing,

so she doesn't really have to know, right?

Okay, so just...

just chill.

(Adam) Hey, um...

I have something to tell you... [clears throat]

Something to tell you...

Okay, I have something to tell you...

I'm not actually trans, I'm still in high school...

[sighs]

Oh, I'm... sorry.

You okay?

You're...you're freaking out about your date.

Well, what are you gonna wear?

-This? -No way.

Here, I got something for you.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, totally.

(Ethan) All right.

Products.

So... how do I make things...

go right?

Just relax, man.

You already know she likes you...

So, you're good there.

You don't have to worry about that.

Then just... y'know...

stay sensitive.

All right, you look good.

Check it out.

Yeah.

So, it's called The Vanishing Room.

My friend Kate says it's amazing,

but I'll just apologize in advance in case it sucks.

No!

Sounds, sounds cool.

-So... -Okay.

Hey, have you seen, uh...

Have you seen Lady In The Water ?

Oh... not yet,

but I'm kind of obsessed with M. Night Shyamalan.

His ads always say, like...

M. Night Shyamalan.

Like way bigger than anyone else's ever do.

Yeah, I know, right?

Yeah.

It's like...

Coming Soon...

M. Night Shyamalan.

-Directed by M. Night Shyamalan -That's true.

Yeah.

[buzzing]

[ethereal music playing]

¶

¶

Okay, maybe if I was like a guy, or a straight girl...

Women's Studies would be kind of interesting,

but basically it's just me being like,

"Hi, I'm gay and I majored in being gay!"

You know... like...

M. Night Shyamalan-

a film by M. Night Shyamalan.

But not all women are gay.

You know what I mean.

So... what's your major?

Um... I'm undeclared right now.

But, you're liking Berkeley?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe you know a friend of mine. Um...

Andrea Salzberg?

Uh, no. I don't think so.

Uh... Derek Sorenson?

No.

There was this one girl I went to middle school with

who goes there now, um... Kelly... Kelly... Quinn?

Yeah! Yeah!

-Really? You... you know Kelly? -Um hmm.

That's so funny, I haven't seen her since we were like, kids.

What is she like now?

She's cool.

Cool in what way?

I dunno.

Is something wrong?

No... No.

No?

I have...

I think I'm gonna go.

I don't go to Berkeley!

I live at home.

In Piedmont.

You live with your parents?

Yep.

I... It was really stupid to lie, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I mean I'm kind of mad, but I also kind of get it.

At the gay marriage party thing I made stuff up

'cause I thought you wouldn't like me.

I don't...

Here's the, here's the thing though.

-I have to tell you something. -Hey!

My friend, Aiden...

lied to his girlfriend.

He's... trans, too.

We went to Smith together

and he was so fucked up over gender stuff...

that he had to drop out his second year

and well he was really ashamed about it

and he just thought

was kind of funny because he was always...

open about trans stuff and...

she was so supportive...

but... then the big 'coming out' was about...

school.

What I'm trying to say is...

I think you...

being yourself...

it's really brave.

(Adam) Fuck.

All right.

Voila.

I just took my first shot.

On my way...

to becoming a man.

And it has been five months... on Testosterone.

So my muscles have gotten bigger, my butt is hairier.

I haven't shaved in a long time, but,

it's really bright right here so you probably can't see it.

I'll show you a little bit.

The scarring.

As I said in my last video, I think,

it connects in the middle.

Because I had my reduction surgery.

And the scars are pretty close together from that.

And he didn't want there to be any leftover tissue.

A double incision procedure,

also known as a bilateral mastectomy.

As it leaves the scars like what I have here.

Or the other option is

a keyhole/peri-areola incision procedure.

Yeah, my dose is, um, 100 milligrams a week.

Uh, half cc...

Uh, no, I've never made it into...

made it to the Camp Trans.

Um, I've been looking into Philly Trans Health, though.

So you take your packer.

You take your boxer briefs.

Put it in between yourself and the briefs

and then I take a looser pair of boxers over that...

It's kinda like so.

Yeah, I've always, um...

I've always pretty much been into girls.

Um...

pretty, uh heteronormal.

Heteronormative.

And fold this end here.

Take your clips.

and... it will not snag...

as you move throughout your day.

And voila, you have a chest binder.

So if one of the clips comes loose...

-Hey we're ordering Chinese... -Get out! Out.

-Hey. -Adam's masturbating!

[door closes]

Well, she said you were um...

a... tranny chaser.

I am not a tranny chaser.

Okay, well that's what Roxanne said Schuyler said.

But I think... that Schuyler's just in love with Boy Casey.

What are you guys talking about?

Well you know how Casey dated Boy Casey

and now she's dating Hazel, two trans people in a row.

-Wait, Hazel's trans? -Mm-hmm.

June, what time is it?

Why do you call her, 'her'?

I thought you were supposed to call trans people 'him.'

-Not if it's a trans woman. -It's 5:17.

Shit. I'm going to a sex party with Hazel

and I don't know what I'm going to wear.

Fuck... I'm meeting Gillian at eight.

You're still seeing that girl?

[knocking]

Hey! Uh... I'm seeing Gillian tonight.

Can I borrow that shirt again?

I mean, I'm just sayin' like...

you can't wear the same shirt on the second date.

Oh, yeah, okay.

Mmm... no...

You know, I... just got this.

It looks a lot better without an undershirt,

just... try it on.

Here.

So you, um,

you really like this girl, don't you?

Yeah.

Have you guys...

Oh... um...

No. I - I've...

I've never, um...

I'm, I'm still a...

Oh.

I mean, you know, I didn't

lose my virginity 'till I was 18.

Yeah?

-With Rachel? -Yeah, actually...

My first time, I was... so nervous.

Well...

Like...

what happened between you two?

Like wh-why, why did you break-up?

She was an addict.

I wanted her to stop, but she wouldn't.

That's why you moved to New York.

Look... don't tell anyone, okay?

-It's okay, I won't. -Cool.

Looks good.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

(Claire) So, when did you, wait... how old were you?

When you... transitioned?

Seventeen.

Wow... that's really young.

Your parents must be really cool.

I'm kind of fucked up on gender stuff,

so I don't really like to talk about it.

So, who's in for Bound tonight?

Aw, yeah, yes.

-Yes. -Let's do it.

-Really? -You've never been.

You have to go. Come on. It's only fun if we all go.

Hey, would you hate it if we...

stopped by this play party for a second later?

Sure! Sounds good!

It wouldn't be a problem though, right?

Huh? What would the problem be?

Like, 'Women Only', babe.

I'm sure it's fine.

Bound is totally cool with trans folks.

-Cool. -Yeah, they just don't want,

like... nasty bio straight men getting off on lesbians.

It's gross. [laughing]

Hey, I think we passed by a movie theater,

if you wanna do that instead. They have X Men,

I-I think Lady In The Water's still playing

and I don't mind seeing it again.

-You're funny. -Next!

Yeah.

Next.

(Kate) I can't believe I bothered to bring my dick.

There's not gonna be anybody worth fucking here tonight.

It will pick up.

[whip cracking]

Black on the left means BDSM top,

which is most important to me, so...

I'm looking for a sub tonight if you wanna try it out.

Um...

do you know if there's a bathroom?

A bathroom here?

There's one in the back.

Okay. Um, I just...

hold on one second.

[sighs]

[whispers] Hey.

It's me.

[laughs]

Is that Adam?

My name is Rolf. [laughs]

(Announcer) The Blowjob Contest begins in 15 minutes, okay?

I repeat, the Blowjob Contest will begin in 15 minutes.

God, that girl was trashed.

There are signup sheets with Lydia at the front desk.

Thank you.

(Casey) Okay, no, no, you have to come now.

Will you please come?

Yes! Come here to Bound.

Okay.

(Announcer) Oh, yeah, yeah.

You better catch up number one.

Number two's smoking your ass.

Yeah!

[whistle blows]

Time!

Get your mouth off, time, time, time.

That concludes the oral exhibition

of our Blowjob Contest!

I guess we can stay for Jackie and Nadia's scene

and then we can just head out afterwards? Okay?

Our winner is Camille once again...

[cheering/ applause]

Now get the fuck off my stage.

All right, people,

for our first scene we've got Giggilo Jackie and Naughty Nadia

doing a sultry submissive spectacular.

Get your asses up here!

(Nadia) Catch me if you can.

Coming. Turn around. [groans]

On your knees, bitch.

[applause]

(Nadia) Oh, no! (Jackie) Yeah, yeah.

(Nadia) Oh my gosh, what are you gonna do to me?

What am I supposed to do to you?

Like, what do you want me? Should I tie you up...

Do it!

Excuse me, you're interrupting a scene!

Hey, excuse me, one scene at a time, okay?

(Announcer) This is some hot shit, fuck yeah!

Hey, do you wanna get out of here?

This is like, I dunno, this is kinda boring.

-Okay. -Yes! Eat it up, team!

Yeah!

Ooh, get your face in there!

Hey! That's our vest!

(Adam) So this is you?

(Gillian) Yep.

This might sound weird, but I feel like I...

I-I feel like I've seen this, or something...

You're not crazy.

Probably already seen it.

Why?

It was like in every newspaper in the country four years ago.

Really?

Yeah... um...

The little town that I grew up in Oklahoma...

My girlfriend and I were like...

the only gay people.

So...

I mean of course we got harassed and stuff

but what really sucked was when we tried

to get tickets for the prom...

they wouldn't sell them to us as like, a couple.

So my parents got legal people involved

and started like, a huge...

public case against the school for discrimination and...

we ended up on, um, TV and stuff...

Yeah. Pretty much, uh, famous for being gay.

Would you wanna see my scrapbook?

Sure.

I still get letters.

It's kind of amazing... just...

to have been this person for so many people.

To think I... could've saved someone's life.

It's intense.

Yeah.

(Adam) Wow. This is really cool.

Yeah, but it's kinda weird that I'm dating you.

It is?

Yeah!

I really like you.

I like that you're shy.

And I like that you're weird.

But not in like a over the top, wacky, like contrived way, like,

you just, like...

Hey... c'mere.

What do you like to do, usually?

I don't... I don't know.

Do you like... to use a dick?

Um...

Yeah. Yeah.

You can use mine.

Unless you brought one.

One second.

I use this when I've forgotten to boil.

Sorry, I know it's gross.

Uh... it's cool.

The other way.

Yeah, of course.

[moaning]

[moaning]

[moaning]

[moaning]

[laughing]

[knocking]

Hey. I'm feelin' pretty antsy,

do you wanna like hit a diner?

Yeah! Sure.

Uh... I'm sorry, uh what were you saying?

I was 11, I didn't know stuff would come out, okay?

[laughs] Hey, I hear you...

So...

how's stuff with you and Gillian?

I didn't even know it was possible to feel this way.

It's crazy.

So I guess that means y'know...

you guys are finally...

Actually, I was...

gonna ask you if you had any, like, tips or anything?

Tips on what?

I don't know, like...

when I'm, when I'm doing stuff with her

I'm not like 100% sure what I'm doing.

I don't even know what I'm touching half the time.

There's all these folds and... you understand, right?

I dunno, our stuff is so much more simple.

That's true.

I just wanna like, do it right.

Well, you know about the clit?

Yeah...

It's like the, the nub, at the top.

You know, honestly, beyond that,

the person you should be talking to

and asking what she likes, is Gillian.

Yeah.

You're right.

What are you doing?

Straw worm.

Wait, you really never seen

The Incredible Adventure of Two Girls In Love ?

-No. -We are watching it right now.

Even my mom has seen it like a hundred times.

-Your mom? -Yeah, she's like...

Really into me being gay.

Yeah, my mom can't even say the word lesbian

without doing it in her, uh... vampire voice.

Really?

But she's cool with you.

Yeah, but not, not my sister, um...

I dunno, it's, it's fucked up.

Y'know...

We never really talk about trans stuff.

And... like...

And you don't have to, obviously, but I just...

Just didn't want you to think that I was avoiding it.

Oh, no, no, it's um...

It's like not a big part of who I am.

Like really not a big part. Of who I am.

Okay.

[cell phone chimes]

Who's Brad?

[laughs]

Oh, shit.

Oh, he's not supposed to come until later.

-Who? -Um...

It-it's just a, a friend, um...

Uh... from back home, he's visiting.

-Cool. -Shit.

Can I meet him?

Uh...

Hey! Re-remember...

He doesn't, he doesn't know about me, okay?

So don't, don't say anything.

So he's like a bio guy?

Yeah.

Cis guy.

Right...

Okay.

You douche!

Hey.

Hey! I'm Gillian, nice to meet you.

Uh, sorry, I... um...

I thought you were getting in later, I would've, uh...

No! Yeah, no, no, it's all right.

-Yeah. -It's cool.

So...

Uh...

I'm gonna let you guys catch up.

Maybe we can all hang out later.

I'll call you.

How did you even meet her?

At a party.

Just remember I'm 20, okay?

You told her you were 20?

-Yeah. -Dude...

You look 12!

And remember... You and I met at tennis, not at school.

And we've known each other for about like a year...

Your girl... she has hot friends, right?

All of her friends are gay.

You're kidding.

-I told you this. -Guys, look, uh this is me...

I'll catch you all later, maybe we can grab a beer or something.

-Dude, that'd be awesome. -Hey-- do not let this fool...

fuck up what you got going, all right?

There any Boyz To Men in there?

Oh, shit, "Torn", Lionel! We have to do "Torn."

Oh my God, no, I'm so sick of "Torn."

I'm sick of "Torn." I don't want to do it.

-Fine. -So Brad, you dating anyone?

Uh, yeah...

I'm dating this girl, Sandy. [clears throat]

I mean... uh, I used to date her.

Back in high school.

Oh, you haven't dated since high school?

Oh, Adam!

You and Gillian are still coming to Camp Trans next week, right?

-Totally. -Yeah.

Jackie was telling me that you're from the Bay.

I got my top done with Brownstein in Oakland,

so I was there for like a week last March.

-Word. -Pretty sick town...

And Brownstein is the shit.

How do you know Adam?

Uh... tennis.

Who'd you get your top done with?

-Garramone. -Oh, sweet...

My friend Beaumont used him, that's so crazy.

-Yeah! -Hi... Nadia...

-Can I buy you another drink? -How old are you?

Nineteen.

Last I checked you have to be 21 to buy alcohol.

You know what I have no desire to ever do?

Yeah?

Have sex with a man.

I guess I just don't like the idea of a guy fucking me.

It's like he thinks he's getting something,

or getting away with something.

All right, we need this.

-Yeah. -Mm. Yay.

Welcome to New York! [glasses clinking]

New York! New York!

Dude...

you know we're just fucking with you, right?

[laughing]

¶ I cannot name this, I cannot explain this ¶

¶ And I really don't want to Just call me shameless ¶

¶ I can't even slow this down let alone stop this ¶

¶ I keep looking around I cannot top this ¶

¶ In a room without a door ¶

¶ And all the fun that we had ¶

¶ 'Cause they're coming for us baby ¶

¶ And they are going to be mad ¶

¶ And they are going to be mad ¶

(Adam) Dude! You're not staying in my room.

I sai- no.

-Quiet! (Reporter) Authorities

-are trying to unravel ... -What's goin' on?

Details of the murder of Nelly Chua.

Just last night a witness ...

-Brought police to the site... -I hope they fucking die.

(Casey) I don't give a shit,

I hope they get the death penalty.

Body was found.

The cause of death is thought to be

blunt force trauma to the head.

The teen was last seen leaving a local bar with a man who...

-Hey. -has since been taken...

-into custody. -Did you know that girl?

-No! -The victim, born Robert Chua...

started going by Nelly when he was just 13 years old.

According to the victim's family...

he was known for his infectious smile...

-Her, it's her. -...and beautiful singing voice.

Though Johnson admitted to having engaged

in sexual activity with the victim earlier that evening,

the suspect claimed to have been tricked.

Though statements from witnesses are...

So he tricked those guys into thinking he was a girl?

She didn't trick anybody.

What? But they did it because

they thought they were having sex with a girl.

I mean I'm not, I'm not saying they should have killed her.

(Casey) They had sex with her because they wanted to...

she did not have to tell them that she was trans.

(Brad) What kind of sex did they even have?

Okay... um... I'm sorry, but...

if a girl wants to go down on me

and it turned out that she had a dick...

Adam, get your friend the fuck out of here.

(Adam) Dude, chill...

I'm not saying they should have killed her.

-Just chill. -Oh, wow...

You don't think that she should have been brutally murdered?

That's so incredibly noble of you.

All I'm saying is that you...

you shouldn't pretend to be a girl and have sex with guys,

if you're a dude.

You wouldn't understand. It's a straight guy thing.

I mean, it can... it can... really fuck you up.

Oh, right, yeah, yeah, sorry, 'cause...

make you scared that you're gay.

No! Because,

straight guys don't want to have sex with a man.

-Shut up. -What? You don't agree?

You wouldn't be freaked out if uh, if...

if a girl blew you and it turned out she was a guy?

-She wasn't a fucking guy! -She had a penis.

I don't care what she called herself.

Adam, that'd freak you out, right?

Come on, man, back me up here.

Yeah, I guess... she coulda told...

No, I don't tell people.

When I hook up with them.

Tell 'em, tell 'em what?

That I'm trans.

I've hooked up with people and not told them.

What?

[door slams]

[door closes]

[door closes]

How's it going?

(Gillian) Fine.

Wh-what are you up to?

Wait. Um... Should I come over?

We could watch a movie?

Why don't we hang at yours?

Hey, uh, do you know where Casey is?

She's at Hazel's.

Yeah, sure.

Come over.

You're gonna tell her.

(Movie) I can feel that presence searching again...

and it's not the girl.

It's a brain of great intelligence...

"Necrobob..."

Th-this movie sucks, do you...

Do you just...

do you wanna ... do you wanna talk?

Um...

Sure.

Okay... um...

So, there's, there's...

something I've been meaning to...

bring up.

Y'know how when you first meet somebody?

They think of you in a certain way...

and... sometimes you...

let them... keep on thinking that...

because you want them to like you?

You wanna tell them more...

but, the, the right time it just never comes?

But...

if you really wanna be with somebody...

and you think...

I don't know...

maybe you could have a future...

with them.

I don't feel well.

I think I'm gonna just head home.

Gillian, please!

I'm leaving in one week.

I know.

I re- I really wanna talk.

We can talk at Camp Trans.

[knocking]

Adam...

Fuck off.

(Casey) You're going to Camp Trans?

Yeah.

You know what Camp Trans is?

It's the annual demonstration coinciding with

the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival

protesting their policy that excludes trans women.

So you're definitely going?

Yeah, I'm going.

Hazel's one of the lead organizers.

Oh. Gillian and her friends...

are really into it, so.

[utensils clatter]

You're appropriating my whole life.

[inaudible]

Alyssa. "She."

Jordan. "He."

Emma. "She."

Blaise. "He" or "she."

Riverrun. "Ze."

Jackie. "She."

Gillian. "She."

Lionel. "He."

Adam. "He."

Our next group meeting is dinner at 7pm.

For those who are interested...

the fat phobia caucus is now in zone four.

Everybody's headed down to the swimming hole...

Come on! Let's go!

[laughing]

Cocky. By Julius Erano.

We are often told that we are living...

in a man's world.

And in this culture no image represents power more than...

the phallic symbol

and if the penis equals power, then...

I am illegally armed.

Because when a man is defined as that which is not female

and a woman is defined as that which is not male, then...

I am the loose thread that unravels

the gender of everyone around me.

You see I never wanted to be dangerous.

And I spend most of my life

wishing that I didn't have a penis.

I used to hate my body for not making any sense to me.

You see I've been made to feel shame and self loathing...

So that everyone else

can feel and take comfort in what their bodies mean.

So...

if I seem to be a bit cocky...

it's because I refuse to make apologies for my body anymore.

[applause/cheering] [drum beating]

Some women have penises.

Some men don't.

And the rest of the world is just gonna have

to get the fuck over it.

[cheering/applause] [drum beating]

If I'm destined to be the thread that unravels the gender of...

everyone around me, then I am going to pull.

And pull... and pull...

And pull and pull until everyone is exposed.

Until finally they see that all along they were merely wearing

the Emperor's new clothes.

[cheering/applause] [drum beating]

It's millet.

What's millet?

It's good for you.

You know, it's still a little weird, but, um...

I'm really glad you're here.

That you got to see all this.

Me too.

I mean, yeah...

Thank you.

For the summer.

For letting me come.

I might tell mom and dad.

What?

That I'm gay.

Why?

Because...

lying is stupid.

And... lonely.

I never should've let mom talk about gay people

the way she did.

Should've said, yeah...

Some lesbians are man-ish,

it's called butch and it's what I like.

Why do you like butch girls?

I just do.

I just think masculine women are the sexiest people on earth.

-We're going to win this thing! -Whoo!

It may not be next year!

It may not be the year after that!

But we will win!

(All) Whoo! [cheering, applause]

[all chanting] That word is inclusion.

One word, one word...

That word is inclusion.

One word, one word, that word is inclusion.

One word, one word, that word is inclusion.

Now let's having a fucking dance party!

[music playing]

I'm sorry I've been kind of cold.

When I feel like this I just shut down.

This physical thing in my body I can't control.

Like...

even if I wanna talk, I can't.

Gillian...

Yeah?

I love you.

I'm not trans.

I know.

It was gradual.

But...

little things... like...

how at first you were entirely clueless about anything queer

and then...

how you just suddenly started to know things,

but like in a memorized weird way.

Why didn't you say anything?

(Gillian) It was weird.

I mean it was me, too.

I didn't want you to say anything.

I wanted you to keep pretending so I could pretend, too.

Like I needed...

you to be a trans guy for me to be able to like you.

Okay for you to like a guy?

Yeah, which is...

pretty fucked up and transphobic

if you think about it.

[yells] I'm bisexual!

Wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be.

[yells] I'm a straight cis male.

[laughing]

Gross.

Hey...

So everything is okay between us?

I was thinking I could, uh...

I could, uh, graduate high school early,

move to New York...

I could get a job, I-I move in, with you, or something, maybe?

Adam...

But...

I... I love you.

What happened between us was messed up, Adam.

What you did...

What we both did...

[sighs]

I can't believe we have to go back to the dorms.

It's gonna be so weird.

You gonna see Gillian tonight, before you leave?

Uh... uh...

no... no... it's over.

[crying]

[knocking] (June) Hey.

Are you, you okay?

I dunno. [sniffs]

Dude, why are you holding a picture of

Gillian Freedberg?

Wait, she's your Gillian?

Wow.

Sophomore year of high school...

she was like, my hero.

I had, I had that picture over my bed.

-Really? -Yeah.

I'm sorry about you and Casey.

Thanks.

Honestly I feel like...

Like I've been living in a delusion this entire summer.

'Cause we were never...

great for each other.

What I want is someone...

I actually have a connection with, you know?

But hey, if um...

that's what you and Gillian have...

then no matter what happened, you should go to her.

Because finding that is really rare.

It's like slow motion.

It's like falling into the toilet and it's...

it is nothing I could do about it.

Beer?

Uh... no.

-I'll see you guys later, okay? -Okay, bye.

So I didn't mean to cut you off. What happened?

So it's in the toilet...

it fell, it's in there and it's like, I...

washed it off...

[music playing]

I mean yeah, at first...

I saw you differently, but...

it, more than anything it was because I was embarrassed...

all the stuff we talked about...

things that...

I asked you...

you must've thought I was...

just stupid.

I never thought you were stupid, Adam.

There's more.

I have to tell you something.

Okay...

I kinda let Gillian think I was a trans guy.

What?

When we first met... she assumed it...

and I... let her keep on assuming it.

Do you... do you even...

Do you even get how fucked up that is?

You used a marginalized identity to have sex,

I mean who does that?

This is too creepy.

You know what, um, here, just uh, I'm out.

-Ethan... please. -Did you ever even tell her?

Yes! Yes, I told her! She said she knew.

-What does that mean? -I don't know! Okay?

I-I-I-I don't know.

We got caught up in some weird stuff.

I just...

Look, I did a stupid, awful thing...

and I'm, I'm...

And I'm, I'm sorry.

But I think...

you're like, one of the best friends I've ever had.

And I had to tell you.

Okay.

Just tell me what happened.

Do you think you'll ever see her again?

No. Probably not.

So what happened?

Your eye.

Did you get into a fight or something?

I got drunk and tried to leapfrog

over a Village Voice dispenser.

But feel free to tell people I kicked some ass.

Totally.

(Adam) Wow.

Y' know ever since I got here,

I've had this image in my mind

of, like, the perfect... New York skyline.

Just to have that feeling, you know.

Of like, I'm here...

I'm... I'm in the city.

I'm in New York.

This is my New York skyline.

This is it.

This is what I've been lookin' for.

Dude... that's New Jersey.

Right.

[music playing]