All language subtitles for Broad.Trip.2026.1080p.64.AAC5.1-[YTS.BZ]

[music]

Downloaded from
YTS.BZ

♪ Sometimes I talk out loud ♪

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ

♪ When there's no one else around ♪

Excuse me.
Are you Alice Anderson?

Daughter of Jeanie Anderson?

Yeah. I mean, yes, that's me.

I'm actually supposed
to be picking her up right now.

It's kind of our thing,
family tradition, you know.

I pick her up when she travels
and she picks me up when...

Miss.

- Is she in trouble?
- I'd say so.

Did she fly with an illegal animal again?

- No.
- Did she threaten to start a dance party

in the aisles of the
plane if she got cut off?

- Because normally she is joking.
- No.

Please tell me she didn't
hook up with a pilot again.

I can't... I can't have her
banned from another airline.

WOMAN ON OVERHEAD:
We are now boarding Delta...

- Follow me, please.
- What?

Mom, are you okay?
What happened?

What happened is...

I'm engaged!

Woo!

- Oh my god.
- MOM: Woo!

You guys really commit to a prank.

Oh honey, it's no prank.

This is the real deal.

Are you being serious right now?

You were only gone for six days.

She was only gone for six days.

I know. But when you know, you know.

- You know.
- No!

Ma...

Honey, I can't wait for you to meet Wayne.

He's actually flying in tomorrow.

Is alcohol even allowed in here?

Oh, not at all.

I confiscated it from
a guy earlier this morning.

[laughs]

You don't want to know where.

[gags]

- To your mom!
- Yay!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

Woo!

♪ But you're the one to blame ♪

♪ Cause now that they're not together ♪

♪ I finally feel okay ♪

ALICE: I just don't understand.

You were in Sedona
for less than a week

and now you're
engaged to some random guy?

Oh, Wayne isn't random.

Ugh... Okay.

What's his last name?

Um... Appleby?

No. Appleton?

- Granny Smith.
- Mom...

It's something
to do with apples, but...

but that's not important.
I know the important things.

He's kind and funny.

He's a great cook.

Do you know that you can make
a lasagna from hot dogs and mustard?

Gross.

Mom.

Please listen to me.

I'm worried about you.

You've just fallen in love
so many times and it never...

Oh, honey, this is different.

Just keep an open mind.

Wayne's gonna be here
tomorrow and you're gonna love him.

Fuji! Wayne Fuji!

I knew it had to do with apples.

I was so close.

[music]

Bagel Bar!
Alice, you're the best.

Well, I have to make
work a little fun for my team.

I got you gluten free.

You're so good to us.
Thank you, HR Mommy.

Please don't call me Mommy.

We were bummed you couldn't
make it to karaoke last night.

- Mm-hmm.
- I think I made Beyoncé proud.

Well, even though public
singing is my number one

stress dream,
I was sad to miss it.

But I had to pick my mom
up at the airport, so...

Oh! Jeanie's back from the
retreat thingy. Was it good?

Yeah! She got engaged to
a guy she met there, so that's fun.

- Anyway...
- Wait, wait.

Jeanie got engaged?

Yes, she did.

But, point being, I need to tell

you about our new PTO policy.

Um...

- More.
- That's insane.

Alice's mom is next level.

Tell him about the time that your mom was
a groupie for Nickelback and pulled you

out of high school for a
month to go on tour with them.

- Anyway...
- Let's get back to the engagement.

Have you met this guy yet?

No, he's flying in tonight, so
I have to spend my lunch break

looking him up online and maybe
running a background check.

Or... Just a thought...

maybe we could
look him up right now.

[Sandeep gasps]

Okay, only if we counted as team building.

- Yes!
- Yes!

Go team!

[scoffs] It says his last job was
renting fog machines to strip clubs.

Huh.

I wouldn't even think that
was a gig, because the whole

point would be to see the
women, but what do I know?

He can't be as bad
as he looks online, right?

He's wearing
a t-shirt that says,

"I own two pythons,
and one's in my pants."

No... No... No.

She's not marrying this man!

So...

- I've been thinking...
- You want bangs?

Honey, I'm sorry.

I don't think you have
the forehead for them.

No. I... What?

I've been thinking about you and Wayne.

I... I wanted to talk to
you before he got here.

Mom, you know I love you

and I want you to be happy,

but I'm worried you're
moving a little fast here.

That retreat was supposed
to be about working

through your grief,
not boning some guy

showing off his
snake tattoos online.

Did you look him up?

With an open mind?

But yes!

Okay.

First of all, he only
has one snake tattoo,

and it all connects on
his cute little butt cheek.

- Okay.
- And... Second of all,

I did work through my grief.

I only cried over Queenie
once, the whole trip.

They served nuts on the plane.

You know how she felt about squirrels.

Well, hey!
There's my woman!

- Oh!
- Baby, baby, come over here!

[kissing loudly]

[Wayne laughs]

Alice, this is Wayne, my fiancée.

- Alice.
- Hi. Oh.

- Hey. Now, listen.
- Hi.

I know you're a grown woman,
but I want to tell you something.

I intend to be the world's best dad,
and I want to get a mug to prove it.

She's a cutie pie.
You're a cutie pie.

This is so exciting for my
two favorite people to meet.

- Yeah. Um, say, Wayne.
- Huh?

Could you ask our waiter for
some more, um, uh, napkins?

- Napkins? Sure, can do.
- Mm-hmm.

- Okay.
- Hold my bowie for me.

Will you, beanie?

[loud kissing]

That's sweet.
That's sweet sugar.

[laughs]

Ohh...

Woo!

You cannot marry that guy.

This is the start
of an episode of "Dateline."

Oh, my God. It's heavy. No!

You know, I was worried you would do this.

Start judging him for his looks
and his education and his hepatitis.

His what?

Mom, you are rushing into this.

Mm. If you say so.

You are not being rational.

Love isn't rational.

Oh, but I forgot...
you don't believe in romance.

Oh, I believe in romance.

I just prefer to be in control of my life.

Not lost in some pheromone-induced mania.

- I am not like you.
- Oh, you're exactly like me.

I raised two beautiful daughters.

You and Queenie are exactly like me.

Stop comparing me to your dog.

- It's a compliment.
- It's not!

Hey... ladies.

Now, I could not
track down the waiter

and get those napkins,
but got something better.

Boom! [laughs]

Use as much as you want.
We can wipe our hands with it.

Thank you.

And again, if you ever want me to
set you up with someone, let me know.

Oh, thank you.
But no, thank you.

- I don't have time to date right now.
- Alice, come on.

I mean, don't you want to meet
a mega nerd like yourself?

Let your little freak flag fly?

My freak flag is doing just fine
in storage right now, thank you.

- Is it?
- I don't have time.

I'm working overtime to try to get
this director of human resources job.

And now, I have to deal with my
mother's train wreck of an engagement?

No.

Is he really as bad as we thought?

He's worse.
She's so blinded by love.

She can't see the parade
of red flags he's laid out for her.

And when this relationship
inevitably ends like they always do,

in six to eight months, she will
be devastated and hysterical.

And who will have to pick up the pieces?

Me.

It never works.

I mean, come on.

She doesn't even know who my dad is.

Are we really surprised?

[music]

[sighs]

[music]

JEANIE: Woo!

Woo!

Oh, hi!

You mowing the lawn
or going to winter formal?

I hit one of my gnomes.

Oh well.

[music fades out]

Thank you for coming over.

Oh my God.

Oh, I know.

Doesn't Queenie look beautiful?

She really does.

I hired the same photographer
who did your senior portrait.

Nothing but the best for my two daughters.

Mom, for the last time, your human
daughter is not the same as a dog.

I asked you here because I want
you to know I heard your concerns.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Wayne and I agreed.

Planning a wedding is just too much work.

And weddings cost a fortune.

That's true.

That is so responsible.

Yes, so we're going to
Elope in Buffalo next Saturday.

What?

You want to get married next weekend?

Mm-hmm.

And...

Alice, I have a very
important question to ask you.

[nervous] Uh-huh.

Will you be my maid of honor?

Oh... You're maid of honor...

Mom, I'm so touched, obviously.

And I really would like
to say yes, but I...

Yes! Oh, I'm so glad we got that sorted
because I have so much to do.

I have to go shoe shopping.

I have to go dress shopping.

I have to pack up this entire house.

Pack up the house?

Didn't I tell you I'm selling the house?

You're selling the house?

Wayne says we need seed
money for the new business.

- What business?
- Oh, that's still in beta.

Hold on!

You are saying that you
want to sell our house,

the site of all of our memories,

to give cash to a guy you just met
for a business that doesn't exist yet?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm not going to give it to him.

Then it would be taxed.

Oh, my God.

No, we're going to wait till
we're married and combine assets.

It's the least I can
do to support his dream

because he's moving here for me.

Look what the cat dragged in. [laughs]

JEANIE: Whoa!
WAYNE: Me!

- You, baby.
- Thank you for your credit card.

- You betcha, honey.
- And I got something for you.

Oh, my god.
No, no, no, no, no.

I'm leaving.
I'm going to work.

WAYNE: Come on, baby.
Let's dance.

- Let's dance.
- I'm going.

- Oh, bye, honey.
- Oh, bye, baby, baby, baby.

[music]

[typing]

[typing violently]

- Hey, hon.
- Hm?

So you sent a company-wide
email with zero exclamation marks,

and I'm wondering
if you're okay.

My mom wants to marry
Python Pants next week.

- Next week?
- Next week.

And I can't let it happen.

- Oh, he's really that bad.
- He's awful.

He's making her sell her house to steal
all her money, to start some business.

He's just... He's got his
claws in her deep, you know?

- Ew.
- Ew.

Damn. Red Flag City.

Mm-hmm.

But your mom is a grown-ass
woman, and she'll just

have to live with the
decisions that she makes.

My mom is mentally a teenager.

She can't...
[gasps]

- You're right.
- Yeah. Why?

Her decisions.

I have to make her think it's her
decision to call things off with him.

Yeah.

But what is my mom
more than anything else?

Horny.

Fair.

What else?

Self-centered.

Yes.

She's been talking
about her next chapter

of life for years,
so I just have to make

her see all the paths
she won't be able

to take in her next
chapter if she's with Wayne.

Mm-hmm. Are you sure that this
is the path that you want to take?

Because you've been working
so hard to get your promotion, and...

If I could do this at literally
any other time, I would

but if this man breaks her
heart and steals her nest egg,

I fear she will never recover,
and I have to protect her.

So that's what I'm gonna do.

[music]

- Hi.
- Hi.

What are you doing here?

I was just getting in the bath.
Do you want to come in?

- Uh, no.
- I've had a bath today, thanks.

I tried calling,
but your voicemail's full.

- Oh.
- I have an idea.

What if, instead
of flying to Buffalo,

we drive to Buffalo together?

Like a road trip?

A bachelorette road trip?

Yeah. I'll plan all the stops.

Wait, but what about your job?

You never take time off.

I can bring my laptop
and work on the road.

I've already told
Lainey to call me

if there's anything
I absolutely have to handle

because how often does
my mom get married?

[Jeanie giggles]

Well, I'm pretty sure ceremonies
in Belize don't count in the U.S.

Okay. I'm gonna choose
not to unpack that right now.

I know Wayne might feel a little weird
about being left in a new city all alone.

Oh, no, no, no.

He's so busy scouting
locations for the new business.

I love how independent he is.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm just gonna tell him

to meet us in Buffalo before
the wedding, and it will be just us.

Great!

A mother-daughter
bachelorette party road trip.

- Yes.
- We'll leave tomorrow?

Yes. Oh, I'm so excited.

- I love you. [squeals]
- I love you too, Mom.

I... I just want you to be so, so happy.

You know that, right?

WAYNE: Jeanie, come back!
Our bubble bath's almost done bubbling.

I gotta go.
I'm so happy.

- Love you, honey.
- Okay. See you tomorrow.

[music]

[sighs]

Here we go.

[music]

Ta-da!

I just got us a serious
upgrade for next to nothing.

You're welcome.

But what about the trunk space?

And what is next to
nothing for a rental car cost?

Don't worry about it.

I'm selling my house.

I'm about to be flush with cash.

Really?

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Be careful.

Queenie's in there.

You brought her remains?

I would never travel without her.

If you were dead,
I'd bring you along, too.

Don't ever do that.

You couldn't stop me.

You'd be dead.

Mom.

We need a picture before we hit the road.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

One, two, three.

[shutter clicks]

And off we go.

["Proud" by Jason Tarver, Hugo Russo]
♪ I have lived a lonely life ♪

Ooh! Mom?

- Yeah?
- Do you have a hair tie?

Oh... hold on.

Okay.

- Let me...
- Oh!

♪ Looking through the night ♪

♪ Looking for a light ♪

- Ah!
- How's that?

Great, actually.

♪ Somewhere lost at sea ♪

♪ A feather on the breeze ♪
JEANIE: Breeze...

Oh, I love this song!

♪ Carry me away ♪
JEANIE: Away...

Oh, come on... dance with me.

Mom, I'm driving.
Ten and two.

Oh, come on.

Okay...

♪ You keep me strong ♪

Woo!

♪ You give me hope ♪

♪ You... ♪

[gagging]

♪ You make me proud ♪

Oh, I think I swallowed a bug!

[music]

[Jeanie coughs]
ALICE: Ew.

This would not have happened if you
hadn't insisted on getting a convertible.

Oh, honey, it's just a few bugs.

It's no big deal.

[Jeanie laughs]

[gasps] Oh, no.

- What's wrong?
- I know him.

- That guy over there by the brown van.
- Oh...

- Ex-boyfriend?
- No!

He's just an annoying
kid I went to high school with.

Wesley Darvin.
[car door shuts]

JEANIE: Mm...

- Hey, Wesley!
- [gasps] Mom, no!

Yoo-hoo!
ALICE: Stop!

Uh, hi. Do I know you?

I'm Alice Anderson's mom.

She actually wanted to say hi to you.

She's right over here.

Alice?

Oh, there she is.

Alice Anderson?

It's been a while.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hi.

Oh, wow.

She was just saying how
cool she thought your van was.

Oh.

I've never accused
that thing of being cool.

- It's, uh, very retro.
- Yeah.

Well, we bought it off the
guy who painted it in 1972.

- Ahh. All right.
- Who's we?

- Girlfriend?
- No, no.

My bandmate, Clive.

- Uh, I'm in a band.
- Oh, wow.

We're on tour.

- And Clive's just in there.
- Mmm.

Clive!

That's Clive. Yeah.

- Woo-hoo.
- Hey.

He's, uh...

He's shy.

So you two are friends, huh?

- No. Not even a little bit.
- Yeah.

Come on.
You hated me in high school.

- I didn't hate you.
- Oh?

I hated the way you were
constantly trying to one-up me.

I don't think I ever tried to one-up you.

I think I just one-upped you.

And you still ended up valedictorian.

You were very...

driven.

Anyway, we should be going.

Oh, no. We have a few more minutes.

Keep catching up.

[Alice clears her throat]

I'm sorry. I knew I recognized you.

Did you... did you come to
school on a horse one time?

Alice's 16th birthday.
ALICE: Mm-hmm.

She wanted a car.

But I was dating a guy
at the equestrian center,

and I thought, this
is a pretty cool ride, too.

No-brainer.

We-we talked about that for a solid year.

Yeah, you guys didn't stop
neighing at me in the hallways.

I have no recollection of this.

So where's your band playing next?

Uh, we've got a gig in Rochester.

So we thought, what the hell,
let's pack up the van,

hit the road, see where
the wind takes us, and we'll,

uh, we'll play small
gigs along the way.

So you're going on a tour
with only one booked gig?

- Yep.
- Wow.

Not the overachiever I remember.

Well. Times change.

Well, that's pretty weird, because
we're on the way to Buffalo.

- Mom.
- So you two should exchange numbers.

- We don't have to...
- That's a great idea, actually.

- Yeah, see?
- Here, uh, my phone is dead, so...

An actual old-fashioned pen?

Wow.

Still carry one of those, huh?

Take that.

Um, just, uh, text me.

If only to get recommendations for awesome
diners and pit stops along the way.

Uh, maybe we can grab a milkshake
and you and I can reminisce

about the good
old days of AP Physics.

Clive and I have done
this route before, so...

You hear that, honey?

He's experienced.

Okay.

We're virgins.

We're leaving.

- Wow!
- Let's go, Mom. Get in the car.

Um, and, uh, nice, uh, panty pony.

Very chic.

Oh! He likes your panties.

These are pantyhose in my hair?

Mom!

[music]

You have to go out with him.

He's so cute.

Me and Wesley Darvin?

No way.

Besides, he wasn't even
asking me to hang out like that.

Oh.

I disagree.

I like him.

Yeah, you liking a guy is a red flag.

[laughs]

You know, Mom...

Once you get married,
you won't be able to just...

meet cute guys
and flirt with them anymore.

I'm getting married.
I'm not turning into a nun.

Plus, Wayne and I
aren't the jealous types.

Oh, really?

Even though he used
to work in strip clubs?

You kinda left that part out

when you said he
used to be in sales.

Oh, the past is the past.

And I am not judgmental about sex work.

Hmph. Really though, Mom?

Do you ever worry that...

I'm not concerned a bit.

Wayne and I have gotten
through some very tough times.

Because we communicate.

[music plays on radio]

Hey, Mom.

Take this freeway.

[gasps]

Are we going to Cheryl's?

It wouldn't be your
bachelorette party if we

didn't go to see your
oldest bestest friend, right?

[laughs] Woo!

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

[music]

[doorbell rings]

I knew Cheryl was successful, but
not like giant-mansion successful.

What did she do again?

Oh, she's the head of all
product distribution of the Midwest.

- Wow.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh my God, Jee-Jee.

I'm so glad you're here.

Oh. It's been way too long.

I know.

I mean, the last time I saw you,
I think I still had my original eyelids.

[laughs] Now I blink like a 22-year-old.

Oh.

Alice, you're all grown up.

Oh my God.

The last time I saw
you, you were still in that

awkward phase that
girls have when they're 13.

I was 17.

The world needs late bloomers. Mm?

I cannot believe that
you're getting hitched, Jee-Jee.

- I know.
- I mean, oh my God.

Okay. The only
reason to marry a man

that fast, tight pants,
from a fat wallet.

Or a fat something else. [laughs]

Oh, honey, you have no idea.

Okay, ladies.
You two.

[Alice sighs]

You know, I just
realized you're actually

like alternate
versions of each other.

You met working together.

You both built wonderful careers.

Bought your own homes.

You've done a lot as independent ladies.

Mom, maybe you should be going
into business again with Cheryl.

Your oldest best friend
who you know and trust.

Hm?

I think our business days are over.

Aww.

Cher's like my big sister.

Aw, you calling me old?

Oh, and have your team of
plastic surgeons come after me?

- Never.
- You know me too well.

All right. Mm.
Ladies, finish your champagne.

I got a little surprise.

[classical music plays in background]

JEANIE: What?
ALICE: What is that?

What is going on?

I'm like your fairy garden.

ALICE: What is this?

Okay, don't look at any of the price
tags, because I already bought 'em all.

Cher, this is too much.

Oh, pish posh.

I mean, you said you haven't
bought a wedding dress yet

and, you know, I wanted to assist.

And, you know, help Alice.

Poor Alice over there.

Find some clothes that aren't so drab.

Drab?

You look like an HR lady.

But I am an HR lady.

[Alice laughs]

Okay.

Where do we start?

[upbeat music]

Mmm, no.

- Oh?
- Oh...

[gasps] Ooh...

[woman singing in French]

Hm?

No! I love it.
- [laughing]

Turn around.

I like it.

Sorry if I'm hurting you.

Oh, please, honey.

After what you did to me when
you were born, I can take it.

ALICE: Hm.

This is fun, Mom.

Yeah.

We haven't had a girls' day
like this in a long time, huh?

Well, we went to that
winter matinee last year.

Oh, no.

Tax Evasion Garrett met us there.

No, that was two years ago.

Last year was Jobless Bob.

Oh. Yeah.

I haven't had the best track
record with men, have I?

No, you haven't.

That's why I'm so glad that I met Wayne.

He's such a lovely guy.

Well, you look beautiful, Mom.

Agh, bad news, ladies.

Looks like the DEA are on their way.

Did she just say the DEA?

Yeah, this is not good.

Apologies for being
such a rude host,

but it's probably best
if you just hit the road.

You know, before the feds arrive.

Product distribution.

That's drugs.

She's a drug dealer?

That's how you're so rich?

And you two worked together.

Were you like Pablo Escobar?

Oh, no. We were very low-level back then.

Here's is for you.
Just make a little wedding gift.

It was lovely seeing you both.
I'll see you at the wedding.

- Okay.
- Go on, honey.

- Mom.
- You gotta go fast.

- Come on, Mom.
- Faster!

It's okay.

JEANIE: You're going 90 miles an hour.

ALICE: Well, yeah.

Oh, my God.

Cheryl.

Aunt Cheryl's like a... kingpin?

- [laughs, sighs]
- What?

That's funny you say that.

That D.A.R.E. program
must have really worked.

Why wouldn't you ever tell me this?

Because I didn't think
you'd ever understand.

Oh, I don't understand.

This is so irresponsible, Mom.

Oh, my God.

You could have gone to jail.

I mean, why would you risk it?

There's not a lot of jobs for young single
mothers without a college education.

And I wanted a better life for you.

So I just worked until I could
buy a house and get out.

And I don't regret any of it.

Whoa, Mom.

I guess I never really
thought about it like that.

I mean...

it must have
been really hard for you

all by yourself with a newborn
and nobody to rely on.

- But you know what?
- What?

Now I have Wayne to lean on.

My soulmate.

ALICE: Uh-huh.

[music]

What's that smell?

89 bucks a night.

Okay.

I'm gonna go freshen
up and see if there's a bar.

Yeah, good idea.

I'll change, too.

What? Why? You look so good.

I'm overdressed
for a motel bar, no?

Well, at least let
me give you something

of mine that kind of
shows off the goods.

What makes you
think I didn't bring

anything that
shows off the goods?

[clears throat]

Fine.

Thank you.

[door closes]

[phone vibrates]

Oh, god.

Hi.

Is that Alice Anderson in a sexy
black dress I see on my screen? Woo!

Is it too much?

It's so tight.

No, it's perfect.

I'm so glad that you're
finally letting loose

and shutting off those
"Girls Gone Mild" vibes.

Apparently we're going to a bar later.

I love that.

It's literally the last thing I want to do
right now, but we're connecting, so...

It's a great idea.

You know, your
choices should always

be bolder than
your turtlenecks, Alice.

Deepak Chopra said that.

No, he did not.

But I get your point.

One drink can't hurt, right?

[rock music plays]

Ahh.

Wow.

I can feel the earth spinning, I think.

It's amazing.

That's what love feels like.

I'll take your word for it.

Honey... you've got to get
out there and date more.

No. I watched you be heartbroken
over and over for my whole life.

No, no dating.

Mm-mm.

[new song plays]

You don't date because of me?

I didn't think you absorbed all that.

I mean... It's okay.

Oh, Mom. I'm okay.

I don't even need a man.

And I just always needed a man.

- Ya think?
- [laughs]

I...

Sorry.

I just mean...

Are you...

Are you sure you want to marry this
guy you've only known for six days?

Yeah.

In Buffalo?

Why Buffalo?

You know I had a hard time growing up.

My parents...

I know, Mom.

Well...

One weekend...

We went to Buffalo.

And we had the best time.

Everyone was so happy.

It really felt like family.

Hmm.

So I was really sad
when we were leaving and...

I saw this couple.

And they were getting
married in the chapel.

And it was so beautiful.

And I just thought...

If I ever get married...

I'm gonna get married
right here because...

Buffalo is just the
happiest place on earth.

I want you to be happy.

But do you think this is gonna last?

Oh, I will.

Wayne isn't like any other man I dated.

He only wants what's best for me.

I promise.

You believe me, right?

I, um...

I believe we...

Need to ride that.

[upbeat music plays]

[gasps] Yes!

- Come on.
- Okay.

Jeanie: Get on her, honey!
[Alice yelps]

- Yeah! Woo!
- Woo-hoo!

ALICE: Okay...
JEANIE: Look at her go!

That's my girl! Oh, yeah!

- [whooping]
- [crowd cheering and clapping]

Yeah! She gets her hips from me!

[screams]

Ride that bull, honey!

Ride it!

She's doin' it! She's doin' it!

Whoa! [screams]

[crowd gasps]

[indistinct chatter]

Oh! Honey! Alice! Alice!

Got you!

That's payback for the airport!

[both laughing]

- Ooh.
- Are you okay, honey?

- Yeah.
- You sure?

Yeah. Hundred percent.
I just need one sec.

- [Alice vomits]
- Oh!

Oh! Boy!

[music]

I don't know what got me worse...

The booze or the bull.

Oh.

It's the booze.

Trust me.

[exhales]

Hey, we're really close to Columbus.

You know, some, um...

Fresh air might really
help me... walk around.

Enjoy the beauty of Ohio.

Isn't that pretty far out of the way?

- No, it's...
- Or did you plan a stop for us?

No. No plan.

[music]

Hey, Mom.

Could you go inside
and get me a bottle of water?

Oh, and maybe a box
of those mini gas station donuts?

Mini gas station donuts?

Yeah.

The ones with the
powdered sugar all over them.

Oh.

Okay.

How did I raise you so wrong?

Okay.

This is gonna work.

I just need a...

reason to get us there.

Okay.

Just a quick...

[music]

Okay, come on, Alice.

You gotta do this, otherwise your mom
is gonna get fondled by a strip club

con artist with produce
for the rest of your life.

Ew!

Come on!

Lock in.

Ah!

Shit!

Ow!

Oh, no!

Oh! Honey!

- What's wrong?
- I think I chipped my ulna.

Oh! Where's that?

It's my elbow!

Oh... Oh.

I'm gonna...

I'm gonna find the nearest
doctor's office.

[office muzak playing]

You bang your elbow and you
run to a plastic surgeon's office?

What do you think they're
gonna do, Botox the bruise?

Miss Anderson, I'm Dr...

Tim?

Jeanie?

- Oh!
- My God.

You two know each other?

It's been a while.

- How are you?
- Wow!

So, uh, you finally
opened your own practice?

I always told you I would.

You went to Harvard Medical School?

Uh-huh, yeah.

After the Peace Corps, I realized
my true calling was medicine.

Wow.

And what better way to help
people than cosmetic surgery?

Because when you look
your best, you feel your best.

I guess that is true.

Must be a nice paycheck
too, huh? [laughs]

Jeanie, it's so good to see you.

Um, wait, Mom.

Is this the Tim you
dated when I was three?

That you said was
the great love of your life?

Um, I might have said something like that.

Well, I mean, of course
this was before Wayne.

Wait a second, who's Wayne?

My fiancé.

- Oh. Congrats.
- Mm-hmm.

So much you two don't
know about each other.

Maybe we should spend an extra day or two
here and you and this Harvard-educated,

rich doctor with an excellent jawline.

Did you get that done?

Not my business.

You two could catch up.

Jeanie, I've missed you so much.

You!

[screams]

[music]

I warned you.

Nancy! Oh, you look terrific!

He does great work!

Nancy, Jeanie just
stopped in with her daughter.

Oh, my God! Mom?

I warned you!

Next time you come near my
husband, it would be your last!

Your husband?

He is not wearing a wedding ring!

You are not wearing a wedding ring!

No! No, no, no, no, Nancy!

No! Nancy! No!

TIM: You're gonna hurt someone.

[clamoring]

- Run!
- Nancy! Nancy!

Oh, my God! Go! Go! Go! Go!

ALICE: Oh, my God!

- Get in the car!
- Oh, my god, Mom!

[screaming]

Go, go, go, go, go!

[car starts]
[screaming]

Oh my god!

[tires screech]

[man yells]

ALICE: Oh my god!

Don't even think about coming back!

That was insane.

It'll be fine.

How's your elbow?

What? Oh, better.
Thank you.

I'm really sorry it made us go there.

Well, you know, it's not like
you knew it was my ex's practice.

Yeah.

Small world.

It did seem like you two
were kind of having a moment

there before we almost
got murdered by his wife.

You know, it's funny.

I spent the last two decades fantasizing
about Tim, you know, the one who got away.

Yeah.

Now I see exactly what was wrong.

Like that he's married?

Well, yeah, but also,
he never stood up for me.

With Wayne, I always feel so supported.

Yeah.

[siren]

Oh, shit!

I wasn't speeding.
Will you hand me my purse?

I threw it in the back.

JEANIE: Oh my god.

[Alice gasps]

Why is there cocaine in our car?

Because Cheryl is
a very generous gift giver.

It's worth a fortune.

Mom, the cop is gonna see this.

And then I'm gonna go to prison.

I'm gonna go to prison with my mom.

Oh my god.

What are you doing?

- Oh my god.
- Okay. Listen to me, Alice.

Men will do anything if you
flirt with them in the right way.

It's our superpower as women.

Mom, I can't.
I'm not like you.

Yes, you are.

You just have to do three things...

Use his name, laugh at whatever
he says, and give him a look like this.

- I can't do that.
- Oh, yes you can.

No.

I trust you. Love you.

No, I can't, mom. I can't.

Uh... Hi.

Officer Dinkleman.

Wow. Cool name.

You know why I pulled you over?

No.

Officer Dinkleman. I don't.

You got a busted taillight.

Well...

[giggles]

We hit a deer.

From the back.

Crazy, right?

I mean, what are the odds?

So funny. Not for the deer.

JEANIE: Oh, it's a powder
explosion. [laughs]

My daughter just loves
those mini gas station donuts.

- Dinkleman.
- Gross. No one likes those.

Oh, I do.
They're my guilty pleasure.

Must have spilled them
when we hit the deer. [laughs]

If you promise to go to a mechanic,
I can give you a warning.

Really?

Mm-hm. Safe travels.

Thank you. [laughs]

I can't believe that actually worked.

So proud of you, honey.

We just have to
work on your flirting face.

Why was the lip-bite too much?

Mm. I'd have given
more cannibal than coquette.

- Okay.
- I can take that feedback.

Speaking of coquette, we need to
get this stuff out of here immediately.

- Mm.
- Good call with the donuts, mom.

How'd you come up with that?

I still have few tricks up my sleeve.

- Yeah.
- Come on. I'm hungry. Let's go.

Okay.

[music]

Is that... No, it couldn't be.

Don't I know you from... from high school?

Do you remember? It's me. Hey.

How are you here?

Oh, I just happened to be
passing by my favorite pit stop.

Which is why I recommended
it to your mother yesterday.

ALICE: Oh, did you?

I thought it would be rude if I didn't
text him after he gave you his number.

- Mm.
- So, uh, seeing as you're here,

Clive and I are
playing at a festival

nearby, so it'd be great
if you two came through.

Oh. We have a lot of
driving to do today, mother.

So, I just don't know that we have time.

Come on. It'll be fun.

You can leave immediately
after we finish playing,

and I will play
so fast, just for you.

[Alice laughs]

- Sure.
- Okay. Good. Okay. Great.

Woo!

Good. All right. Uh, Clive
is waiting in the van,

so, uh, I will text
you the address.

Okay. Great. Thank you very much.

And, uh, may I?
ALICE: Yep.

We'll see you later.

- Okay.
- Woo-hoo!

- This'll be fun.
- What are you up to?

Oh, come on.

- I can feel it.
- Ah.

- Unbelievable.
- [laughs]

[Renaissance music plays]

[crowd murmuring]

Oh, what great outfits.

No, this is not a music festival.

This is gonna be so much fun.

I always wanted to be a wench.

[modern music plays]

JEANIE: Oh, I like your cape.

Oh, my goodness.

What is over here?

Is this harvest stuff?

[modern music plays]

Woo. [laughs]

Wow...

♪ On a cold and rainy afternoon ♪

♪ You found my pieces ♪

♪ Fighting back to life ♪

♪ Facially you're lifting me ♪

♪ From my arms... ♪

Look at those fingers go.

That's why you date
guitarists and not drummers.

- Mom!
- Never drummers.

Okay.

[song ends]

WESLEY: All right.
Thank you very much.

That's been our time.

What? Mom? No. Mom.

I'm just gonna...
I'm just gonna be a second.

Okay?

Hey.

Hey.

- That was great.
- Thanks.

I mean, really, really great.

Thanks so much.

And thank you so much for coming.

Well, yeah.

We would certainly not
forbear it, good sir. [chuckles]

Okay.

It's a little Renaissance
Faire Shake... speare.

You know, we wouldn't have missed it.
[clears throat]

And, uh, look,
I know you said you had

to hit the road or
whatever, but this is a...

really cool place and,
uh, I don't know, did you

want to maybe take a
walk, check it out and catch up?

I do, um, it's just we,
well, we have a schedule

and I can't really
abandon my mom.

- Oh.
- Oh, oh, no.

How would I ever find shelter
or ale without my daughter?

Well...

Honey, I know you
think you have to take care

of me, but you don't
because I'm older than you.

- Barely.
- Mm-hm.

Why don't you kids go have
some fun and make me a grandbaby?

- Mom! [Wesley laughs]
- Oh, come on, we're at a ren faire.

- Just go plunder each other's booty.
- Please ignore her.

WESLEY: Wow.

[Jeanie laughs]
Let's go.

Yes. Okay.

- Clive, is it?
- Yes.

Come on, Clive, let's
go find a cup of mead.

Yeah, okay.

Let's do it.

Let's see what you
got, Katniss Everdeen.

- Just give it a little...
- [yelps]

Pull it back a little bit.

Pull back. You got this.
You got this.

And...

Ha! [laughs]

Not bad.

- Wait, same time, ready?
- Uh-huh.

Okay, go.
One, two, three.

[upbeat Irish music plays]

Two.

Congrats.

Oh, your lap is so comfy.
[giggles]

Oh.

- I look like a princess.
- You absolutely do.

Oh, yes.

Oh, ooh, ooh.

Woo!

Thanks for inviting me and my mom.

- Of course.
- This is fun.

You two seem close.

I didn't mean to open up
a can of worms like I'm so...

That wasn't a trick question or...

It's okay. My mom
and I are a work in progress.

How so?

Do you want the real answer or...?

The real answer.

It's sort of like my whole life
I have been her single mom.

And if I recall, your father
wasn't around, right? Yeah.

- Mm-mm.
- Sorry to bring that up.

It's okay.

You can't miss what you don't know.

Not that I have, like, crazy
daddy issues or something.

I'm sorry, I've got bad news.

- What?
- You are at a Renaissance faire.

On a date with a guy from a band.

You have got daddy issues.

Okay. Okay, I see your point.

- What?
- This is a date, right?

Good sir.

I do not share a
turkey leg with just anyone.

Okay, well, I'm very happy to hear that.

Now, if only we had some desserts, like
a huge stack of mini-powdered doughnuts.

- You like those?
- They're the best dessert easily.

- Top ten.
- I know!

- They're the greatest.
- Incredible.

- Top two.
- My favorite.

And they're not two.

Wow!

And, just to put your mind at ease,
I grew up in a household

with a happily married couple,
and look how that worked out.

I live in a van, and my parents
don't return my phone calls.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I'm...

I'm so sorry, why?

I did the whole law school thing,
got a great job at a great firm,

and I was miserable.

And one day I was
going to work, and there

was a homeless gentleman
playing some music.

I was so jealous that he got
to sing, and I was stuck writing

NDAs for diaper companies.

So, I gave him all the money
I had in my pocket, and I quit.

Wow.

That's how it happened.

- Mm-hm.
- How about you?

I bet you're doing something amazing.

I was so intimidated
by you in high school.

- What?
- Yeah!

- You were?
- Obviously.

Okay...

Brilliant. Creative. Beautiful.

I was shaking in my orthopedic
sneakers every time you walked by.

Well, that is very sweet.

I'm going to disappoint you.

I don't think so.

I work in HR now.

It is very... whatever.

[music]

If you think it's "whatever,"
then you should do something else.

Like, quit my job and become a singer?

I'm just saying that you should
go after whatever you want

because you are too amazing
to settle for anything less.

[music]

What I want is to go back to your van.

Really?

Really.

[traffic noise in distance]

[sniffs]

Mm.

[gasps]

- Hm?
- We fell asleep?

Mm-hmm.

Oh! Oh no! Hi!

- Hi.
- I left my mom alone.

All night. Um... Okay.

Uh... Oh my god. I can't
believe we did that last night.

I can't believe I did that last night.

Did... Did what?

Because there was...

We did a lot last night.

[laughs]

Wait. Um... My mother.

Um... When, uh...
When can I see you again?

You want to see me again.

Yeah. Do you, uh...

Do you want to see me again?

[music]

Yeah.

Well, uh... How about, uh...

Just off the top of my head
about a Buffalo, maybe?

- Oh?
- Yeah.

You're gonna be there
with your mom, right?

- Mm-hmm.
- And we'll be passing through...

[Alice and Clive scream]

- Um...
- Um...

The mailbox belonging
to Jeanie Anderson is full.

Is full. Come on, Mom.

[phone vibrates]

Okay.

- Hi!
- Alice! Hi.

I have really big news and...

Hold on. Did you get laid?

- You're glowing.
- Yeah.

Last night, a guy
I went to high school with...

I slept in his van.

I mean, wow.

That is something that I would
do, and that's not a compliment.

I know!

Well, listen, it's gonna be
hard to be a groupie when they...

promote you.

What do you know?

I mean, I may have accidentally
eavesdropped on a certain meeting

where they were talking about a director
position, and you don't look excited.

No, I... I am. I just...

I'm just starting to wonder if I want
to be in HR for the rest of my life.

Babe, I've been waiting for
you to say that for two years now.

So you don't think I'm
crazy if I pass on the promotion?

No, I don't think you're crazy,
but speaking of crazy,

how goes Operation Wedding Crash?

[groans]

I'm starting to feel
so guilty, actually.

We're having so much fun together.

And I... I don't know,
maybe she's not

this train wreck I
always think she is,

or...

that she definitely used to be.

Okay, so you are sleeping in
a van, prioritizing work-life balance,

and giving Jeanie
the benefit of the doubt.

Who are you?

I don't know.

New Alice.

I can't wait to meet her. Bye!

[phone vibrates]
Oh...

Hello?

[music]

She did what?!

No, I'm... I'm coming right now.

I know you're the
professionals, but trust me.

It's circle, circle, flick, nibble.

- Blammo!
- Ohhh.

There's our favorite inmate!

Oh, Officer Brent!
[gasps]

Hi, sweetie.

How are you?

Uh, not great.

You broke into someone's house
and fell asleep on their couch.

- What were you doing?
- I had to pee.

After drinking all day with Clive?

And the bathrooms were out of order.

So you broke into someone's house?

You're lucky the homeowners
don't want to press charges.

Oh, you see?

So it's no big deal.

It is a big deal.

Breaking and entering
is literally a big deal.

There are consequences
for your actions. I mean...

I mean, not in this case, I understand,
but normally in the real world.

Come on!

Okay, there's no need to be so dramatic.

I mean, it's not like anyone got hurt.

I got hurt.

I am hurt.

Do you not understand that
worrying about you hurts me?

Worrying all the time, not knowing
if you're okay, following you around,

cleaning up all of your messes.

I haven't had a day
to be irresponsible ever!

I had one night of fun and you're in jail!

You think that's dramatic?

Alice, that's not fair.

Nothing about our relationship is fair!

[chuckles]
Oh, my god.

I actually can't believe
I thought things were changing!

Ha!

So, there's some paperwork
that needs to be filled out.

Yeah, I'll handle it.

I always handle it.

Have fun saying goodbye
to all your fancy new friends.

Ladies.

[music]

[clicks tongue]

[music]

- Okay...
- Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Also took the liberty
of charging Mrs. Anderson's

cell phone for her after
we used it to play Heads Up.

You played games in jail?

Your mom talked us into it.

We had a blast.

[Alice chuckles]

Bet there's never a dull
moment with her around, is there?

No, there isn't.

Okay, I'll go grab her
personals and bring her out.

Okay, thanks.

[musical ring tone]
[sighs]

Uh... Hello?

Jeanie Bean!

Oh! Wayne, no, this is Alice.

My mom...

can't come to the phone right now.

Well, I've been calling her all night.
Is she alright?

See, I gotta get her opinion on
the location for Suds and Swig.

Huh? Suds and Swig?

Yeah, see, that's the
business we're starting.

It's a laundromat that's also a bar.

Now, listen up.
Get this. You ready?

[singing jingle] Get your clothes
washed while you get sloshed.

[laughs]

It's catchy, right?

Mmm, genius.

See, only thing is, she's gotta
apply for the liquor license.

I can't legally do it.

Even though that "incident"
was 30 frickin' years ago.

Wayne?

Yeah.

The reason my mom
can't come to the phone

right now is because
she met someone else.

I'm sorry. It's over.

Hold on. Hold on.
Hold on here.

That can't be.

You see, we're soulmates.

You know, we're two sunny
bunnies and a honey hutch.

I understand that this is, um,

probably hard to hear, but, you know,
she and, uh, Daryl are very much in love.

If you're...
[Wayne cries]

Just so very happy together
and she didn't know

how to tell you,
because she does

really care about
you, but the wedding is off.

I'm sorry. Goodbye.

Daryl!

Daryl!

What kind of name is Daryl?

I'll be a monkey's uncle.

[music]

Block.

Jeanie: Sweet freedom!

I've got your phone.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hm.

JEANIE: Okay.

Let's see.

Okay.

Everything is here.

- We're all set.
- Okay, great. [screams]

What is that?

It's Queenie.
I told you.

You got her stuffed?

Well, I couldn't say
goodbye to this wittle face.

Oh, no!

Has she been with you this whole time?

I told you that.

I thought you meant
you were bringing her ashes!

Ew!

No!

Was she with us all day at the festival?

Well, I couldn't leave her in the hot car.

- That wouldn't be right.
- Mom.

Also, the rental car
would smell like formaldehyde.

Ew!

Oh, please put her away.

I feel like she's staring at me.

I'm sorry, sweetie.

- Aw.
- Ugh.

[music]

JEANIE: Are you still mad at me, sweetie?

ALICE: Let's just forget about it.

We have a long day ahead of us.

[music]

[engine stops]

[sighs]

Hmm.

Mom.

Mom! Oh!

Hi.

Wait.

Where are we?

Come on.

You'll see.

We're here because
it's a part of your history.

College is the chapter
that you never got to finish.

Oh... I don't need to finish it.

Mom, your dream was to be a veterinarian.

No, and then I got pregnant with you
and my dream became being your mom.

But I don't want you to
give up your dream for me.

You could have both.

I spoke to the dean, and they offer
continuing education classes for adults.

This could be your
next chapter, Mom.

Honey, I appreciate what you're trying to
do, but I don't have that dream anymore.

And I don't have very good
memories about this place.

Mom.

I know leaving here early was hard.

But you can come back.

You can do this. We're here.

Let's go in.

For me.

[chatter]

What if I run into some
of my old classmates?

Mom.

Anyone you went to college with
has either graduated, retired, or is dead.

Oh.

- Right.
- Right?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Okay.

The dean of the veterinary
school has office hours today.

Getting a brochure
can't hurt, right?

JEANIE: Sure. We're here anyway.

Just right here.

Oh. Mom.

Mom.

Ohh... Can I pet your dog?

Okay.

Oh.

Dean Stevens.

Hi.

Are you a student at the school?

Oh. No. I'm not a student.
Thank you though.

My mom used to be.

Hey. Mom.

Mom.

Come meet the dean.

Huh?

- Peter.
- Jean?

Peter, I had no idea.

Oh, I see.

He brought her here for what?

- Guilt? More money?
- No.

Let's not forget you're an adult.

A legal adult.

Alice. We need to go.

Jean, I gave you $10,000
to not be involved.

- We had an agreement.
- Hey!

We don't want your goddamn money!

My mom raised me all on her own.

Bought us a house on her own.

Paid for my college on her own.

We don't need anything from you!

[music]

Come on, mom.

Come on.

[sighs]

I didn't want you to find out that way.

You didn't want me to find out at all.

Did you love him?

I really thought I did.

But then I got pregnant.

And I saw the real him.

You could have told me who he was.

Peter made it very clear
that he didn't want contact.

Not ever.

So...

I just decided it was better to lie
rather than make you feel unwanted.

I understand you
wanting to protect me as a child.

But when I got older...

I didn't know how to tell you.

I had already lied for so long.

I just...

I just thought it was
better to leave it alone.

Yeah.

I...

That makes sense.

[exhales]

Let's just go to a motel
and call it for today.

I'm exhausted.

Sound good?

- Okay.
- Okay.

[music]

I've tried Wayne six times
and it still says it's not in service.

Hmph.

I mean, he does use a pay-as-you-go.

So, he probably just hasn't
had time to get a new card.

Running around, getting
ready for the wedding.

I mean, I can't
believe that's already here.

It's tomorrow.

Yeah, me neither.

[music]

Okay, well...

I'll go take off my face.

Just kidding.

I'll keep it.

ALICE: Mm.

- Night.
- Night.

[music]

[door closes]

[exhales]

[groans softly]

[music]

- I got it.
- Okay.

I'm supposed to meet Wes
at the Canal Park Overlook.

If you want to meet me there after.

Okay.

I thought I'd take pictures
with Queenie by the water.

- Mm.
- Try Wayne again.

His phone still isn't working.

And the wedding's in six hours.

But he'll be there.

I know he will.

So... Okay, well...

Go have fun.

Find Wes.

[clock bell ringing]

- Hey.
- Hey.

- So happy you're here.
- Oh, yeah.

I was starting to get nervous
when I didn't get your text back.

- Oh, sorry. Uh...
- You're good.

Where'd you park your van?

Just a few blocks away.

Why?

Well, let's go.

Hey. Wait. You okay?

Yeah. I'm fine.

- Come on.
- Hey, hey, hey.

Don't get me wrong.

The thought of sleeping
together again sounds incredible

but I thought maybe we
could go for a walk first.

Talk. Hear how you've been.

Trust me. You don't want
to hear about any of that.

- Of course I do.
- Let's just... Come on.

Alice, stop.

Is everything okay?

No. It's not.
My mom got arrested.

What?

Because I chose myself for
one night and I hung out with you.

And I wasn't watching out for her.

Then I met my long lost father
who it turns out is really a dick.

And my mom has actually
known about him my entire life.

And chose to keep him a secret from me.

So, no, Wes, everything is not okay.

And I would just love to be distracted and
go and have some fun, meaningless sex.

Because apparently
that's a thing that I do now.

Meaningless.

I mean...

Please don't pretend
to be heartbroken about it.

I know that's what men want.

Sex without commitment.

I'm... I'm in.

You got it.

That's not what I want.

Okay.

Tell me what you want.

Well...

Well, for starters,
how about some clarity

with the girl I've liked
since the ninth grade?

Maybe take her out on a real date?

See where things go?

Where are things gonna go, Wes?

I have a stable, regimented life
in St. Louis and you live in a van.

Can we just let this fling be what it is?

Can it just be fun?

Is that clear enough for you?

Yeah.

Look, I'm not trying to hurt you.

I'm just trying to be realistic.

Are you?

Or are you just giving
up on something before

you've even tried because
you're too damn scared?

I'll see you around.

[music]

Hi, sweetie!

Hi, where's Wes?

Uh... He's gone, Mom.

I-I don't want to talk about it.

- Can we just go?
- What?

- Please.
- Oh! Wayne!

Honey, whatever I did, I'm sorry.

I just had to come see you.

How did you even find us here?

Well, we share locations on our
phone, just like we share everything.

At least we used to.

Please, baby, just talk to me.

Look, we don't have
to start a business.

Hell, we don't even
have to get hitched today.

I just love you so much, baby.

I'll do anything.

Don't give up on us.
Please, babe.

I'm just begging you.

I'm begging you, please.
[crying]

You're the one who hasn't called.

I've been so worried,
and your phone's not working.

What you talking about?

I called you 14 times yesterday.

Ever since Alice told me
you found someone new.

And I'm going to tell you this right now.

I will fight this Daryl guy for your
love, or form a... a... a throuple.

You told him I met someone else?

Wayne, can I have a minute
alone with my mom, please?

Well, sure thing. Uh...

Okay, I'll be back.

I'll be back.
Don't forget about me.

- [blowing kisses]
- Don't forget about me.

Don't go far.

Mom, I'm so sorry.

I was only trying to
protect you from yourself.

Well, lying to me is not protecting me.

Except for when you do it?

Do you have any idea how much it hurts me?

That you have known
who my father is my whole life?

All those times I asked you?

I'm sorry, honey.

I know I made mistakes back then.

You're still making them, Mom.

And I am trying so hard
to help you because I love you.

And I love you.

But you don't listen.

- Of course I do.
- No, you don't.

I tried to talk to
you about my concerns

about Wayne and
you just brushed them off.

I planned this entire trip
to try to get through to you.

To show you that
there's a better path

for you than marrying some
weirdo that you just met

whose boozy laundromat
is gonna bankrupt you.

Alice! I know you don't support this.

But this is my life.

And you have to accept
that I'm making good decisions.

All that's happened this week is
that you're a magnet for bad decisions.

And I don't know
that I have the energy

to keep helping you
clean them up anymore.

Well, I'm not asking you to, honey.

Maybe you just like fixing my
life so you don't have to live yours.

What?

You need to be the new
Alice that I've seen

coming out of
her shell this week.

You have to stop playing it safe.

- You have to have fun.
- You want me to have fun like you?

[sighs]

Honey, I know I haven't
always been the best mother.

And I wish I had grown up
sooner so that you didn't have to.

But I have always
done right by my daughters.

- And you and Queenie...
- Don't

- Are just the light...
- No, Mom!

This is not your daughter!

This was a dog!

This was a dog!

I am not a dog!

I am your daughter!
[both scream]

[splash]
JEANIE: Queenie!

[girl screams]
ALICE: Oh!

ALICE: Oh, my God.

Mom, I didn't mean to do that.

She threw a puppy into the river!

No, I didn't.
Well, I mean, I did.

But it wasn't alive.

It was stuffed.
It was dead before.

I... Oh, my God.

I can't do this.

Mom, I can't do this. I...
[Jeanie gasps]

It hurts me too much to
watch you throw your life away.

I have to go.
I'm sorry.

Alice!

[music]

[phone vibrates]

Hello.

Alice!

It's Cheryl.

When will you be here?

I'm not coming.

What?

You're the maid of honor.

I know.

Mom and I had a big
fight, and I'm not coming.

Oh, my God.
Listen.

I knew that she was
eventually gonna blow up at you

for your mind-gamey,
don't-get-married road trip.

Wait... She knew?

The whole time?

You're about as
subtle as a yeast infection.

Jeanie told me about it, you
know, when you two were here.

But she swore
that it was all worth it,

but, you know, to spend
all that time with you.

You're really not coming
to your own mother's wedding?

No.

I-I don't know
what to tell you, Cheryl.

I give up, okay?

I'm going to return the rental car.

I'm flying back to St. Louis.

I doubt she even wants me there anyway.

She loves you, you know?

She loves you more than anything.

[song plays on car radio]
♪ Give what I couldn’t give ♪

Uhhhh...

[Alice chuckles]

You know the movie "Cars?"

I know it's not real,
but I think this one felt pain.

[chuckles] The-the good thing is...

I did get the insurance.

Hold on.

- I guess that's good.
- I have it here somewhere.

[music]

Mm.

[sighs]

I actually need the car for one more day.

- I have to be...
- Oh, no. I-I can't do that, miss.

Look at this thing.
It's a liability issue.

[closes door] That's okay.
Just rent me something else.

- Please.
- Oh, no.

All our other cars are booked.

All of these cars are booked?

You want another car?

Look at what you did
to one of our best cars!

I know.

[music]

[sweetly] I know.

I know I did a bad thing.

[whispers] I was kind of a bad girl.

But if you... if you could
help me out, I promise you,

I will take such
good care of her.

I just need her for just one more day.

Eh...

Keith?

- Keith, is it?
- Uh...

This is a powerful name.

Yeah, it's Celtic.

Really?

It means "wood."

Celtic Keith.

So big and strong.

Could you please just be
powerful for me and help me out?

- All right.
- [squeals]

I'm gonna have to run it by my boss.

Or...

Or...

We...

[music]

We could keep this between you and me.

- Oh.
- Oh.

Oh. You like to party.

Yeah.
I do.

Sometimes.
I'm cool.

Thank you, Keith.

- Bye, miss.
- Bye!

[car starts]
Oh, I gotta call Mom.

Hey, Mom!

[music]

♪ I have lived a lonely life ♪

Okay...

♪ A wave on broken ice ♪

Where?

♪ Looking through the night ♪

[car sputtering]
Oooh... no, no, no, no, no...

Damn it.
[car dies]

[Alice gasps] Oh! I should
have listened to Keith!

No!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Ow!

[Wayne exclaiming]
[crowd murmurs]

There's my baby!
[laughs]

[laughs excitedly]

Oh!

Oh, I'm coming, Mom!

Oh, my god!
You see this girl?

Oh, my girl!
You look beautiful!

♪ To feel like I belong ♪

What?

♪ You make me proud ♪
♪ You are my song ♪

CHERYL: Today, we join in marriage.

Jeanie Anderson and Wayne Fuji.

- Whoo!
- Wayne, do you have the rings?

WAYNE: Wha... got you...
- Oh!

Put on your dainty little finger.

Do you, Wayne Fuji, take Jeanie
Anderson to be your loving wife?

Hell to the yeah.

♪ I am not afraid ♪

♪ There is strength in change ♪

And do you, Jeanie Anderson, take
Wayne Fuji to be your loving husband?

I...

ALICE: Wait! Wait!

Alice, you're here!

- Yeah.
- Wait!

To object?

No, I'm here to support.
I'm sorry I'm late, Mom.

That's okay. You're here.
That's all that matters.

I love you so much.

I love you too.
I wouldn't miss this for the world.

I mean, how often does my mom get married?

[sotto] Not counting the Belize.

I'm really sorry that I lied to you both.

I, um...

No, honey.

I'm so sorry I didn't
tell you about your dad.

And for not realizing how
much I put on you all those years.

Why don't we call it even?

Since I launched Queenie into the river.

Um, speaking of...
[whistles]

Apparently you can adopt
a dog in Buffalo in five minutes.

[guests murmur]
JEANIE: Oh my goodness!

Who is this angel?

This is a wedding present and an apology.

I have filled out all of the adoption
papers and paid all of the fees.

So all you have to do is name him.

I'm gonna name him Kingy.

- Okay.
- Oh! Oh, I love him.

Thank you, sweetheart.
You know me so well.

You're welcome.
I love you, Mom.

Okay.

Okay.

Honey. What's wrong?

I'm sorry, Darlin',
but... Sweetheart.

I apologize, but don't
you remember at the retreat?

I told you that I was allergic to doggies.

I just thought that
was a sick, dark joke.

Hold up.

Gather yourself, Wayne.

Here's the thing.

I'm gonna take the Benadryl.

I'm gonna take the Claritin.

I'm gonna even get the steroids.

If I can't get them, I'm gonna find them.

- Oh, yeah.
- Because I love you.

I love you, and I'll do anything for you.

A puppy, a doggy, whatever you want.

I love you.
Please continue, Cheryl.

All righty, then.

- Jeanie, do you take Wayne...
- No, wait a second.

I cannot do this to this man.

I love you, honey.

Oh, Kingy, I'm sorry, but
I love this human man so much.

And clearly, he would do anything for me.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm trying to be more
responsible like my daughter.

So, Kingy, I'm gonna
have to find you a new home.

No, no, no, I object.

[guests gasp]

Oh, no, not to this.

I just mean I'll take the dog.

Oh, Alice, you don't have to do that.
[crowd relieved]

I got it.

New Alice, remember?

Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you.

Look at me.

I'm a...

I got a dog.

Okay.

In conclusion, Jeanie Anderson, do you
take Wayne Fuji to be your loving husband?

I do.

I do.

I do, I do, I do, I do...
[Wayne laughs]

And I pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss... er, okay.
Kiss away.

[applause]

Whoa!

Woo!

Mom!
[guests cheering]

Dream come true!

Dream come true!

Dream come true!

Let's party now!

Party! Woo-hoo! I love you!

Hey, there's my maid of honor.

- Hey, baby.
- Hi.

Hey!

Who invited you? Haha!

[chatter]

Congratulations, Mom.

You look so beautiful.

Aw, thank you, honey.

Where's Kingy?

Oh, um, Aunt Cheryl said she wanted
to take him for a spin on the dance floor.

[Jeanie laughs]

Yeah.

[music plays]

Are you all right?

I know you didn't really want this for me.

Mom, I am so happy for you.

Truly.

I just...

I'm realizing that I want this too.

You want a wedding in Buffalo?

No. But love.

To be with someone who would do
anything for me, like Wayne will for you.

It...

It's really special.

And I think I had a shot
at it, but I got scared.

I don't want to be
scared all the time anymore.

Wes was pretty special, huh?

Yeah, he was.

Well...

maybe you'll
run into him sometime

and then you never
know what will happen.

[laughs]

No, I'm pretty sure he hates me.

Hm.

I'm not so sure about that.

[music playing]

I hired them as the wedding band.

What are you waiting for?

- Go get him.
- Yeah.

Hm.

- Hey, I know I was a jerk and I said...
- Uh-huh.

- Some pretty awful things...
- Yeah.

But I really, really like you.

And that's a little scary for me.

That never happens to me
because I never let it happen.

I don't want to pull
back this time with you, so...

Would you maybe give me a second chance?

We can...

see where this thing goes?

Yeah, it's a date.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Okay.

[music]

Woo!

[applause]
Hi, Mom.

- Yup.
- Yep.

JEANIE: Oh! Uh!

Who is it?

It's me, Mom.

- [laughs] Woo!
- Wow.

Hi.

What happened in there?

Oh, honey.

Marriage is bliss.

Mom, I'm so happy you're happy.

WAYNE: Is that Alice?

It's Alice, honey.

Hey! Hi!

Hi.

Can I have a moment with you right now?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

I am so psyched to be part of your life.

Thanks.

That's really sweet.

I'm really happy to have you in my life.

- Oh, thank you.
- As my Wayne.

[Jeanie gasps]
Really?

Yeah.

And, um, hey, for
what it's worth, I actually

think your boozy
laundromat is a really good idea.

Really? Why don't you come on in?

We'll order some grub.

We'll hang out.

Got a big screen TV.

Um, it's getting pretty
close to checkout time, and...

Um, honey, I know we
talked about flying back together.

You want to change the plan.

I do. I-I swear. I am gonna
work on being more stable.

Mom, it's okay. I actually
want to change the plan, too.

Uh, you do?

Yeah.

Um, last night, Wes
invited me on tour with the band.

Just a couple weeks.

But I've never taken a trip
that wasn't for work till now.

And I want to do something for me.

- Yeah.
- And what about your job?

Well, I have my laptop with me,
and if they don't like that,

I'm... okay with it.

Oh, honey, that is so irresponsible.
I am so proud of you.

I'm gonna make you a promise.
I will not put the house

on the market until you return.

Then, we will go through it all together.

And we can organize it or whatever
your cute little type-A brain wants.

That really means
a lot to me, Mom.

- Come here.
- Oh, come here.

Oh, group hug.

Okay.
Okay.

All right.
I love you.

Bye bye! Woo-hoo!

[baby-talking to Kingy]

Okay.

- You good to go?
- Yeah.

- Hello.
- You ready to go?

[music]

Hey, Clive.

You ready to go?

- Yep.
- Okay.

[Kingy whimpers]
WES: Good. Okay.

- Let's go.
- All righty.

[starts car]

ALICE: So, Rochester's the next stop.

What's after that?
WES: After that, we play it by ear.

ALICE: Cool. I love that.
Just see where the wind takes us.

WES: It's killing you, isn't it?
ALICE: 100%.

So, last night, I actually
came up with a potential schedule.

It's really loose.

WES: This is color-coded by hour.

ALICE: No, no.

See, these two hours right here, those
are scheduled, unscheduled free time.

WES: You're insane.
You know that, right?

ALICE: Yeah, I get it from my mom.

[music fades out]

[music]