All language subtitles for 1 1 Real.Time.with.Bill.Maher.S24E14.480p

Start the clock.

Thank you very much, people. How are
you?

Okay.

Thank you, real -time regulars.

I appreciate it.

Thank you. You sound like a great crowd.

And I know why you're happy.

Great news.

Peace at last. We have an agreement, a
deal, a peace deal. Not the Iran war.

Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni.

That's who I'm talking about.

Man,

were you reading about this for like a
year? All this arguing and suing, and

then it turns out no settlement money at
all.

Just over a movie called It Ends With Us
that everybody hated.

Did you see that movie?

It was harder to get through than the
Strait of Hormuz.

Oh, yes.

Okay. Well, the war. Okay. So we are
officially ended with Operation Epic

and now we have moved on to Project
Freedom, which is also over.

Really?

No, I'm not kidding.

That was... Project Freedom. That was
our attempt to escort the ship.

through the Strait of Hormuz, where
there are now 1 ,800 ships stuck.

Last person who needed this many escorts
was Hunter Biden.

But Iran, yeah, they are blocking

the Strait, and they say they're going
to collect tolls now of all the ships,

and Trump is furious.

Furious that he didn't think of it
first.

It's a game of chicken, and Trump said
he wants the Iranians to know America

does not blink.

Lose interest and wander away? Yes. We
should have all the time, but we don't

have it.

But we kind of have to.

We kind of have to, because we've
apparently used up all our missiles.

Yeah, not all, but our stockpile is
greatly depleted.

This is so ridiculous.

America, the most... strapped country in
the world ran out of bombs. It's like

Diddy running out of baby oil. I mean...
And...

But let's not be gloomy. It's Mother's
Day

on Sunday. Do you have mothers?

I had one. It's very common.

And, of course, there's a baby boom over
at the White House. You know this. The

administration, a lot of people having
babies over there. And for the press

folks, you've seen her, Carolyn Leavitt.

Yes, she just, what timing, she just had
a baby. And they asked her, you know,

are you excited to be a mom again? And
she said, what a stupid question. Do

research.

Of course I'm excited to be a mom.

Now, listen.

If you are old enough to be watching
this show, you were born when your

could have an abortion. She had the
right to have an abortion.

And that is not the case anymore,
really, in a lot of this country.

So maybe when you write a card this
year, say, thanks, Mom, you could have

killed me and you didn't.

Oh, and... Speaking of killing,
apparently they

found Jeffrey Epstein's suicide note.

Yeah, apparently it was from the guy,
his cellmate, who Epstein says tried to

kill him.

But he's the guy who found the note.

And it says, they investigated me, and
then in all caps it says, found nothing,

three explanation points.

What does that sound like?

I can't quite place it.

No,

I'm not deficient.

I'm not suspicious, but the note does
end by saying, thank you for your

attention to this matter.

Okay.

Good news for Gen Z.

We may be wearing masks again.

Well, because you heard about the cruise
ship? There's a cruise ship out there

that has hantavirus.

Ooh, probably this is nasty. Three
people have died. Hantavirus.

And the first report said there was a
flight attendant who got it from the

passenger. Boy, suddenly spirit doesn't
sound that bad, does it?

But, no.

But, no. The flight attendant tested
negative, which is good news, because it

would be ironic if the flight attendant
had hantavirus and the cure was peanuts.

All right.

We've got a great show.

Representative Dan Crenshaw and Donna
Brazile are here. But first up, he is a

Democratic senator from Pennsylvania,
and he is my friend, Senator John

Fetterman is over here.

John?

Hi, how are you? Good to see you again.

All right.

John, you're wearing your good black.
Did you have a speech on the Senate

floor or something where you had to look
your best?

No, I like your outfit. I do.

So I read your op -ed today, I think it
was, in the Washington Post.

And it's interesting because we often
find ourselves sort of in the same place

politically, I think.

Exactly, yeah, where when your values
haven't changed, but the party really

changed and it's kind of put you at
odds.

Yeah, you use the term increasingly
lonely. You said you feel increasingly

lonely as a Democrat. Do you want to
unburden yourself and tell us about

Yeah, well, I mean, some people think
it's like a glamorous life, and it is

at least for me. You know, we have...
Plainly.

No,

I mean...

I mean, from a lonely perspective, you
know, things that used to be part of our

values here as a party that they're
shifted now, whether it's like

Israel and the Jewish community and now
also the border security.

And then also recently, the two longest
shutdowns in history. And I've,

you know, had to vote against.

The caucus, I don't enjoy that. But we
used to be the party that would always

refuse to shut the government down.

And now we now have shut it down and
dropped a lot of mass chaos. And I just

couldn't be a part of that.

Yeah, I think we get the same charge
levied against us that we're picking

with the left.

We're not picking fights. We're just not
avoiding them.

I mean, you used the term an orgy of
socialism recently. You said that's what

you see in the Democratic Party. I do,
too.

Yeah, well, I mean, you have whether
it's like the mayor in Seattle. I mean,

she's absolutely a socialist in New York
and a lot of these candidates across

the country.

And that's really moving towards that.
And people that are proud to be labeled

as a socialist, that used to be like was
a smear when I was running my first

cycle. And now that's becoming more
normalized.

And now I think that's a very dangerous,
slippery slope for us to be.

And now I've spoke to people that had to
live under socialism and or communism.

And they are like they are morons if
they think that socialism is the answer.

You know, I've lived under that. And
thank God we are now. We already have a

great deal of socialism.

And I've made the point a million times
on the show, as we should.

All Western democracies are quasi
-socialist. There are certain things

government should do.

You don't want the private enterprise to
be controlling the Marine Corps.

Social Security, Medicare,

Medicaid, obviously these things. We
have socialism.

They're just proposing something way
more than that. And by the way, you said

socialism, dirty word?

Yes and no.

What really was a dirty word, which
isn't anymore, is communism.

I mean, this woman in New York who is
Mayor Mondami's right -hand woman, she

tweets out, elect more communists.

This guy, Graham Plattner?

Yeah, it's not a slur if I refer to him
as a communist.

That's his own term that he used for
himself.

Yes. Antifa and these other kinds of
extreme things.

Now, that's his own words. That's not my
view, and I'm not using that as a slur.

But the idea that communist is not a
dirty word, I think we need to pause

and say, okay, this is a watermark. This
is a watershed mark.

a moment in American history where we
could pay attention.

And my guess is, because AI is going to
be taking everybody's jobs,

communism is only going to get more
popular.

Well, I sure hope not.

Because, you know, like, if our party,
it's like that, it's that expression,

know. Bad ideas refuse to die. And now
that's coming back. And a lot of this,

the Trump and the backlash is making
more and more things possible in the

Democratic Party.

And I'm going to consistently going to
resist that kinds of extremes and those

extremes that cost us in 2024.

We all have to remember that we need to
have an election against both sides.

We're accountable for both sides and
these and these kinds of states that

depend to deliver.

for the presidency, and that's why I
refuse to be engaged.

I know how to pay the bills as a
Democrat right now, and my colleagues

people that are running, whether for the
Senate or the House, they are literally

running on fuck Trump.

I mean, that's literally, they have
campaign commercials.

that and it's it's it's absurd and we
are getting to that point and i refuse

engage in that extreme uh those terms
and we have to find a better way forward

and now i've been punished to try to
find value in certain views now like

ballroom you know we've talked about
that i don't care about the ballroom i

don't either yeah i mean it's like so
stupid it's such a rorschach test of

whether you just hate yeah because first
of all like we saw with the

assassination attempt a couple of weeks
ago, America probably does need... You

know what the problem is? I said it to
you today on the podcast, which I think

is on next week.

It's the word.

Ballroom. It sounds good.

Ballroom. Sounds like, you know, fops
are pirouetting around.

And if they called it the State Dinner
National Center, it would be different.

But this is America. And we don't want
people sitting in tents to have dinner.

mean, it's just... I mean, you know, I
was two tables away at the White... The

White House Correspondents' Dinner. I've
witnessed this. From the killing?

Yeah. From the attempt, you mean?

Yeah. And that's, I had to see that I'm
like the entire line of succession was

right there and realized that we've put,
there's real danger there. We got

really lucky there for a lot of reasons.
So now we need to have a more secure,

more secure to do these kinds of events.
But I don't care about, you know, just

build it. I mean, he won't even be
president if it's even finished.

Yeah. I mean, concentrate on the big
things, the things that really matter.

Exactly. Trying to say here. So there's
no there's no truth, right, that you're

actually going to switch parties. I know
Trump has offered you. I mean, you said

I would be a shitty Republican.

Yeah. Yeah.

And, you know, if I if I ever decide to
change and I won't, I'll be, you know,

have me on and I will announce that.

But it's not going to it's like, you
know, I'm a committed Democrat, even

though. No, if I vote 93 percent of the
time with the Democrats, I thought we

were supposed to be a big tent party. So
that's I'm not really sure how I become

an issue for any of the Democrats just
to having some different views in these

other issues. You said before.

You're pro -choice, you're pro -weed,
you're pro -gay rights, you're pro

You also throw in there, I'm pro -rib
eye and not bio -slop. I don't know why

that has to go in there.

That sounds like a great Republican to
me. But what is your thing with, look,

and by the way, I don't eat fake meat
either.

I mean, my friends at PETA would love it
if I did. But, look, I mean, the

science is the science. I don't think
that stuff is really better for you than

organic real meat. I mean, it's
certainly not better for the animal at

killed.

as far as the science goes, but you
actually want to bend.

That doesn't seem... Yeah, I just think,
I mean, as I'm a member of the

Agriculture Committee, and I really
stand with our farmers now. And now, of

course, we don't want, like, the factory
farm situation, absolutely opposed to

aminal cruelty.

But for me, if I lived on Mars, yeah,
you know, those kinds of...

What's the lab meat would be a great
opportunity. But for me right now, like

it's... But you want to ban it? I mean,
shouldn't people have the right to eat

it? It's like actively. I mean, if
people have a chance to... But

overall, for me, I think, you know,
someone that's really... I mean, we are

just... I thought, you know, the really
highly, highly processed food. I mean,

that's exactly the essence of that.

Yeah, but there's a lot worse highly
processed food. I mean, I could go into

supermarket and pick up... Well, we
don't want to ban all of that. People

the right to eat what they want, don't
they? I mean, don't tell the population

of America that they can't eat what they
want.

Do you think they're up in arms about
shit now?

You'll really have a riot on your head.

Overall, it's not a top priority for me,
given everything else that's happening

right now. So overall, as someone that
is a committed Democrat, I find myself

isolated by my party as things continue.

I'm going to just have play, you know,
ball strikes and just.

Yeah. OK, well, you know, I'm your fan
because the Democratic Party certainly

needs someone to keep them honest.

And it's the band in the shorts.

Thank you.

All right, John Fetterman, he's going to
tower over me now.

All right, let's meet our panel.

Thank you, John.

Hello. Hello, Barbara.

How are you? All right, he is a
Republican congressman for a couple more

from Texas, author of the best -selling
book Fortitude, and host of the podcast

Hold These Truths with Dan Crenshaw,
Representative Dan Crenshaw.

And to the veteran political strategist,
ABC News, and former DNC chair, Donna

Brazile is over here.

All right.

Okay.

So the midterm elections are about six
months away, and it usually happens this

party out of power does well in the
midterm elections. And the party in

right now is historically unpopular.

Mostly because of what I call the three
I's. That would be ice, Iran, and

inflation.

And it seemed only a few weeks ago,
maybe months ago, that it would be

impossible for the Democrats to lose
this election.

No way.

Well, headline today, way.

There is a way.

And it's because of what they do when
they don't win, they cheat.

So this is the big story today,
gerrymandering. This has gone nuclear.

And Republicans are winning the
gerrymander war. We talked about it last

but a lot has changed since then. As you
know, it started with Texas, your

state. Trump said, gerrymander Texas.

Okay, so they got like four or five new
seats in Texas.

California responded and said, okay,
we're going to do the same thing. All

right, so now this is a terrible road to
go down, but at least we're even.

Okay, now the Supreme Court ruled last
week on the Voting Rights Act.

is different now. Eight states have new
maps now.

And five more are planning to.

Texas, Florida, Ohio, Missouri, North
Carolina.

They're all now more Republican.

These states that had districts that
minorities were electing candidates

Virginia did it on the Democratic side.
And the Supreme Court in the state said

they can't.

So that's a big loss for the Democrats.

They're not going to get that to even
the score.

And Tennessee now.

Show them up at the Tennessee.

This is really what's going on here.
Look at this.

They've taken Memphis, a majority black
city, and they moved it into three

different districts to dilute the vote.

Now, I'm going to turn this over to the
former chair of the DNC for your

commentary, because I'm sure you have a
lot to say. Well, first of all, it's

always a great honor to be back here in
California with Bill, and

congratulations on your Mark Twain
Award.

Oh, thanks a lot.

I mean, you know, Bill, I can't keep up
with you, baby. Every time I... I

go for months, Congressman, without
seeing this man, and he makes all kinds

trouble. I have to come back in and
clean up your shit.

I mean... Talk about a

desperate housewife. Come on, baby.

Please don't step up. But let me just
say this, Bill.

Let me just say this.

The rumors that the Democratic Party is
dead, those rumors are as old as

Methuselah. We have about 179 days. It's
going to be a tough election, no

question about it. But you know what?

We have a small tailwind. No, I do not
like what's going on with redistricting.

You know why, Bill?

I've come from one of those states that
all of a sudden the Supreme Court said,

well, we don't like.

Partisan gerrymandering. No, we don't
like racial gerrymandering. So one out

three voters in Louisiana is a black
voter. One out of three. And they're now

thinking of eradicating.

So that's as if people from some parts
of Louisiana can represent New Orleans

better than the folks who represent all
Baton Rouge. It's wrong, it's immoral,

and it's unjustified. Bill, let me just
say this.

And I saw what the congressman tweeted
today after Tim Kaine.

But here's it. I'm old enough to know
this. Well, what did he tweet? I don't

know. Well, he's going to have – I'm
going to – Tim Kaine is wrong. Well,

wrong. No, he's not. He's not usual.

He's saying, well, the Constitution is –
they made it based on Constitution.

They made it based on – they said, well,
the voters were already voting when the

state – put this law into place so that
the voters can decide. The voters

decided in, as you all know, California.
The voters decided in Virginia.

Politicians did not choose their voters.
But I have one broad question. Well,

they've done it forever.

What?

Don't I know that, Bill?

The Constitution.

1787. Wait a minute.

1787.

1787. I'm going to give you my film
camera.

1787, the Constitution.

When did my family get the right to
vote, Bill?

1965. 61 years ago. So my daddy served
in war and could not vote for that. My

grandparent, my grandmother was 77 when
she got the right to vote. Yeah, I'm on

your side. So we understand.

Are you on my side? Yeah, of course. I
didn't know.

If you're on the side of the
Constitution, you're on the side of

So, Congressman, I will let you describe
why you went into Tim Kaine's ass

today.

You know, praising.

He's the last act I would go into.

Okay.

Cade was making the case that the
Supreme Court doesn't know what it's

about and that they're misreading it. I
pointed out that he should. I know

reading is time -consuming, but you
might read the actual.

case that the Supreme Court wrote. It's
very well written. It's very logically

written. It's pretty irrefutable. I
mean, it was a 10 to 1 vote.

They're making the case that the
constitutional amendment was in itself

unconstitutional because of the process
they followed. That's what the Supreme

Court argued.

It was not about the ability to
politically gerrymander. I'll start with

one principle, just taking a step back
here.

Your state can do political
redistricting.

That's how our federal constitution is
written.

If we'd like a better system and we're
smarter than the founders, then we can

figure out a better way to do that. But
it's inherently political.

Every state has a different way of doing
it. Some have independent commissions

or bipartisan commissions. Even those
are chosen in a political way, a

process. It will always be political, so
just get used to it. Okay. But second,

one more thing to point out. To say
we're winning.

Republicans are winning the
redistricting war.

I think we're catching up. And if I can
point to the facts on, look, if you go

to Illinois, you've got a 14 to 3 ratio.

Washington, you've got a 10 to 2 ratio.

New England has like a 21 to 0 ratio.

California, out of 52 representatives,
they're going to have maybe five, six

Republicans.

You know, in Texas, we're 30 to 10.
Florida is now going to be 20 to 7.

Democrats have been winning this battle
for a long time.

I'm not sure about that. North Carolina.

10 -4.

10 Republicans, 4 Democrats.

Ohio, 10 Republicans, 5 Democrats.
Texas, 25 Republicans, 13. In a state

majority -minority. Let me just show
you. Why does skin color automatically

impose political belief?

Because... Race has always been
identified as a political consideration,

only as it relates to the Constitution
of the United States, but also how it is

implemented at the state level. That's
why these districts were always drawn,

that they took race into consideration.

So that's my point.

I guess the history of the United
States. Well, it's a history, but as we

out of that history, which I hope we
would have by now, an enlightened

would not say that your skin color is an
immutable characteristic as an

indicator of your political position.

To me, this is always the problem with
the Supreme Court. They don't really

into account practical effect.

Remember the Citizens United ruling?

about as much dark money as you want in
politics, and Obama was at the State of

the Union, and he said, this is going to
change everything in Alito mouth.

No.

Yes. Yes. Yes, it did. They don't take
this into account.

As I said last week, I guess you didn't
watch the show. They're not supposed to.

They're literally not supposed to take
that into account. I know, but I said,

we're not living in the future.

It would be nice if that was where. And
we are way, way different than we were

20 years ago, 50 years ago. The world is
very different. And I've certainly

taken my shit from the left for pointing
out constantly that they are hyper

-focused on race. And when they say
things like, racism has never been

you're just ridiculous. But we are also
not living in the future.

Show this map, please. This is what the
map could look like in the South.

of what it used to look like. See those
blue? Those are blue districts.

This is what it's going to look like
now.

There are districts that have been
carved out so that minorities are

represented, for sure. That is racial
gerrymandering.

It has to happen until we are living in
the present.

in the future, and we're not. And if you
think that you're going to take away

all these black representatives in the
United States Congress without

repercussions, I mean, you take away
that many and have them, black people

scant representation in Congress, this
is not going to stay. The new governor

Florida is likely going to be black.

White Republicans are voting him in.
First of all, let me just say this.

For most of my childhood, I was
represented by a white female, Lindy

was outstanding, amazing.

And when the moment came in history that
she said, you know, I have served my

time, and this is an opportunity now to
expand the electorate, to give more

people a seat at the table. Look, we
have black representatives, as you well

know, who represent largely white. I
mean, we had Utah.

Two blacks, not one. They're
Republicans. And by the way, if you can

black Republicans, go ahead. I'll elect
more black Democrats.

We got a black Democrat out of Rhode
Island. We got a black Democrat in

Washington State. Ain't nothing wrong
with being black and living in Nebraska

Kansas. That's okay. What I'm saying is
that in the South, where half the black

population resides, we should not be
told that we no longer have a seat at

table. We do not. I do watch it.

I went to my party night and I went on
ABC on Sunday hotter than July. So I

said, I got to stop watching Bill
because you really piped me up, baby. I

want to lose my job.

You piped me up. I don't know. I said,
whoo, whoo.

And by the way, nobody gave us a voting
right. We bled for it.

Okay.

What I want to say about the Supreme
Court decision here, so that people are

informed about it, is they struck down
this idea, and it's an idea, it's not

written in statute.

It's an idea that there has to be
minority -minority districts.

That was not in the Voting Rights Act.
There's nowhere in there that says that.

It's been interpreted, it's become
tradition.

You're right about the letter of the
law. But you know what? Find a new law.

That's why you have a whole book behind
you. Then write a new law.

That's the process.

We got one, the John Lewis Bowdoin right
back, and I hope you become a sponsor.

We would love your support. If the
majority of the American people want

and again, again, I would just, I would
do it.

How many, how many kisses?

Just one kiss?

You don't want my foot.

I'm going to kiss. Look, we need
support.

Make it weird. Make it weird. And by the
way, I'm not weird.

There's nothing freaky about me.

Hello, unless I'm in the kitchen with my
apron on.

It's coming from things, man.

Okay. Look, the Boomer Wives Act ended
all kinds of schemes that kept not just

blacks still, but poor whites.

Think about the poll tax.

Think about the literacy tax.

It was necessary.

Absolutely necessary. So it was
important that we struck down those laws

those rules so that we could have free
and fair elections across the country. I

am worried that we're all going to be
able to go to the South and want to see

the SEC play.

Oh, we got black athletes. But they have
no representation.

Where is it?

Oh, through the South.

Who doesn't? I mean, you're going to see
black athletes playing this fall,

throwing for LSU, throwing for
Tennessee, Alabama, but no black

in Congress. Oh, I see what you're
saying. That's my point is, you know, I

very disturbed by this. I'm disturbed
that we're turning back at a time when

America's about to turn two -fifths. I
got my red, white, and blue gown, baby.

You going to turn me to Dallas?

I mean, again.

The letter of the law is written for a
perfect world. We don't live in that

perfect world. I don't mean to speak for
the black population. You live in a

lawful world.

No, I can't speak for white people
either. Okay, I'm just channeling the

folks I know.

They like white people more than they
used to because we are nicer than we

to be.

But trust us?

No. And I don't blame them.

So there's just a lot of black folks who
are not quite ready to vote for the

white representative.

representative. They don't understand
their life because we are still a

country in many ways. I mean, when my
friend Killer Mike puts out an album, I

have to read the lyrics and even then I
don't understand it.

I'm serious.

I'm saying this to make a point.

If that's the case, it's as different
from English as Chaucer is.

And that's just...

pointing out that we are not quite
living in the future. Well, if you want

start living in the future, you have to
go back to original principles, and

original principles say that immutable
characteristics such as skin color

not be an indication of your character.

That's an original principle. That's a
foundational liberal principle.

In a Constitution where slavery was
legal.

And then we fought a war to end it. I
know. Because of our Declaration of

Independence and the values, those
original principles that we stated

that was used as the argument against
slavery by the Republicans. And look,

maybe we need another period of
enlightenment because I'm going back to

those theories that gave us this so
-called great Constitution, the Bill of

Rights, and of course the Declaration of
Independence. independence but let me

just say this as you all know it took
women almost 144 years to get secure the

right to vote and and look we just had
to fight once again for a medication

is safe safe the fifth circuit saying
that we should not receive our

in the mail it's medication and people
keep saying it's abortion pill women

to have full access to the range of
reproductive health care no one should

having a miscarriage

All right, I have to move on.

I have to move on.

Very important thing.

Wait, wait, let me tell you what this
is. A couple of weeks ago, maybe a month

ago, I did a whole editorial about
aliens because, you know, the world has

changed now. I mean, it used to be the
people who were talking about it were

the most serious people in the world,
and now they are. It is the most...

Serious people, military people, two
movies, one is a documentary, one is the

Spielberg movie that's coming out. They
both use the word disclosure in the

title. We seem to be at that place.
Trump is on board with this. He keeps

teasing that we are going to see the
files. Well, today was the day they

released. A lot of the files.

Now, some of it is probably nothing.
Some of it is interesting that I never

heard before, like the astronauts on the
Apollo 17 flight saw things that they

were talking about that they thought was
strange. Do you think they were really

there, though? Oh, I don't know. But
what I do know, and don't ask me how we

it, we got a hold of the, absolutely, we
got a hold of the stuff.

Some of this hasn't even been released
yet. Would you like to hear? This is all

about what we don't know about the
aliens.

All right.

For example, oh, this is so interesting
right here. They never wash the anal

probe.

What else? Oh, their central computer
was once destroyed by the illogic of

Dakota getting two senators.

Oh.

They don't reproduce through physical
contact, just like Gen Z.

Sometimes after the anal probe, they
say, now do me.

Oh, very interesting. They did build the
pyramids and also gave us the Bible,

but only as a joke.

Oh. They refer to the missing Malaysian
airliner as our bag.

Oh.

This is kind of sad. In the universe,
we're considered a shithole planet.

I find that...

Pass it. They have over 27 different

genders, five fewer than at NYU.

They don't say, take me to your leader.
They say, wait, this is your leader?

And also, they want to know why the
Michael movie left out all the stuff

kids. All right.

I want to talk

about the Met Gala. I have never talked
about it.

I thought you just were.

I know.

The outfits are pretty much what the
aliens might have.

You wanted proof. There's your proof. I
never talked about it because I guess I

never really understood it. There was a
lot of controversy about it this year,

so I'm reading about it.

It's actually a charity. You know, the
show, some of the people, I mean, this

happens every year. The celebrities show
up and they're wearing just the most

outrageous things. I just thought, oh,
they're celebrities. They're fucking

nuts. That's what they do.

They just, they're weird. and they were
attention whores and they just wear

weird shit. I've seen them do it in
other places. No, this is actually a

for the Costume Institute at the
Metropolitan Museum of Art. Okay, I

that. It's like fashion and art, not
like for poor people. This year there's

lot of controversy because it was
apparently sponsored by Jeff Bezos.

Spent $10 million for it and they got
very upset about this. The people I call

the liberals in theory.

And some people said they weren't going
to go. Turned out just about everybody

went. And I guess the question I'm
asking is, for the party that's always

talking about money and have kind of
made making money evil, now, I do

that there should be an upper number
that we tax on, that you can't have more

money than, you know, some of these
people have over $500 billion.

That's crazy. But I am the farthest
thing from a socialist.

I think making money is good.

Wanting to be rich is good.

Part of what makes America America, we
conform to human nature, which is

But you can't have it both ways. I mean,
Beyonce was there. She's wearing a

$50 million necklace and the Queen of
Calari Diamond.

Wow, I don't even know her. And I say
you go, girl.

Look, I know her mother, but Beyonce,
call me.

I think I need to help her.

I need to help her. Okay. Okay.

I need to help her. No, but no, she's a
fabulous. But don't you think... It's

fine, Ray. She might have rented that
shit, Bill. You know, she needs it.

So they can brand it. I know. They give
it to her to wear. And I say good.

I'm glad.

Everybody should be able to do what they
want in America and be as rich as they

want. Not quite as rich as they want. I
take that back.

Don't steal my money, though. Don't
steal the taxpayers' money. I'm sick of

shit right now.

I'm sick of it. Just too many grassy
green people stealing our money.

Move out.

Well, I was saying this the other week.
You know, the problem is that when

Bernie Sanders says billionaires and
billionaires, it's so outdated.

Millionaires? You know that one out of
six households in America are

millionaires? One out of six. So when
you say billionaires and you lump them

this is what I was complaining about.
Please don't lower my property value.

right now, Bernie.

But, you know.

Claiming you don't pay taxes. I pay a
shit ton of taxes. Me too.

It's the super rich who don't pay taxes.
In fact, I call my husband Sam.

He's a paper man.

I pay him. And by the way, Gladys, Miss
California, just gave me $4 back. I came

on your show twice last year and I owed
them money, Bill. What the hell's wrong

with you?

You're bringing me out here to pay your
taxes. That's enough.

Come on now.

I mean, Bill, you're right.

Your love is, you know, I can call the
Democratic capitalist. That's because of

my house.

I mean, shit, I grew up in poverty.

I've earned my money. I've earned the
right. I love my nieces and nephews.

given them everything I can.

I want to enjoy the rest of my life.
Right. Okay?

But I also, here's where Bernie is.

Here's Bernie's point. Bernie believes
that we live in two Americas.

Two Americas. And it's wrong that one
set of Americans can no longer afford

American dream. One set of Americans
keep, you know, working harder and

to pay more. And the other set seem like
the rules are working for them.

So that's Bernie's point. He may not be
talking in 21st century language. I

know, but he's got it updated. Because
millionaires, it's like saying, here's a

dime for the phone. Okay, it's a quarter
now, and we don't even have those

anymore.

He's also, I mean, he's misrepresenting
the truth, so he's got to stop doing

that as well. So, I mean, we just go
from statistics, like, where does

revenue come from? They're not paying
their fair share. Well, the top 1 % pays

40 % of federal revenue.

The bottom 50 % pays 3 % of federal
revenue.

Is that fair?

Is that proportion fair?

This is a subjective question.

We actually believe in our country, and
we have for a long time, that there

should be a progressive tax system. It's
one of the most progressive, if not the

most, in the world when you conclude
state and local.

So the rich, not even, it's not even
that everybody plays their, like, 20%.

the rich pay a higher percentage in
addition to. So the idea that they're

not paying taxes is factually incorrect
just by the numbers. So the question is

then, like, what?

What is fair? How are we defining it? Or
is it just a populist rallying cry to

build on resentment that people have?
But would you say there should be an

limit? In other words, if your personal
wealth is worth 2 % of gross national

product, couldn't we be able to cap
something on the upper limit? No?

A trillion dollars?

Why? Why? Where do they do it? Is that
money in a checking account? That

not in a checking account, first of all.
They're using that to buy.

We're talking about Elon, because I
think that's the only person who even

close to that.

How many companies and basic things have
they started? How many people have they

employed? How many investments have they
made?

It's not like it's just sitting in a
checking account.

The guy's working 24 hours a day.

And also, that top 1 % is a very fluid
group of people, too. It's not the same

people. It's usually made up of new
people who, like, sold their business.

worked forever to build and finally sold
it that year. They get lumped into the

1%, and then they're out the next year.
And wealthy Americans can afford

accountants that can find those
loopholes. They understand how to get

when they want to move their companies
into the state and say, hey, if you, you

know, make sure I don't have to pay
property taxes for the next 20 years.

the system is not working. That's why so
many Americans are right now

disgruntled. That's why Donald Trump is
underwater, even on his strongest

attributes.

My Democrats are the big, beautiful,
ugly pieces of shit.

Seriously, you're going to close rural
hospitals?

You're going to take people off of
Medicare? We put $50 billion into rural

hospitals, literally put it into
hospitals. And meanwhile, we can't

health care for average Americans
working $65 ,000 a year. You can afford

lot less if you're paying more doctors.

All right.

$2 ,000 more.

No, the American dream should be
affordable for all people. That's my

I know. And I still lie to you.

The fact is that health care is
expensive because Obamacare made it

They created a market that is completely
unviable. I love that you believe

narratives, folks. I love it. But you've
got to look at the facts and health

care policies, what actually happens in
insurance markets.

Well, they have health care, but it is
true that very often they can't use it.

Because part of that is because the
Republicans tried every way they could

rat -fuck Obamacare after it was passed.
They didn't even know. The Democrats

passed it and said, well, we'll read it
afterwards.

I mean, they didn't know it was in it
either.

Okay. I mean, they took out some of
the... I mean, it was... The only thing

got changed was zeroing out the tax
penalty for not buying it. Well, you

have a replacement for it. So until you
have a replacement, we should keep what

is working that keep America healthy and
safe.

Honestly, not working, we don't have any
complaints about it.

Oh, yeah.

They are compiling all of our samples.

And it's like they stopped this time.

People are worried about their property
insurance.

They're worried about being able to pay
for flood insurance.

Well, then why do you guys want to raise
their taxes?

We don't want to raise their taxes.
Every Democrat voted against our primary

bill that we all got elected, and we did
this first. Because you made tax cuts

permanent. Yes, we made tax cuts
permanent. At the same time, you have

after wars after wars, and we cannot pay
for it. We're about to raise the

defense budget to $1 .5 trillion while
we bring in new ornament and new

ammunition and new munitions. We're
changing the subject.

Let's do that. Let's change the subject.

Wait, wait, wait. I want to change the
subject.

This subject.

Because, I mean, depending on budget,
they're asking for a $600 billion

increase. That is big. In an age when we
are finding out from the Ukrainian

war, it's drones, baby.

And drones are cheap.

So what are we spending?

It's not as crazy as it sounds. One,
we're waking up to the fact. Nobody

that they could fight Russia to a
standstill. I didn't. I thought they

going to lose that war, and they did.

That is the nature of warfare.

The Gatling gun comes along, machine
guns come along, planes, tanks, and the

offense versus defense changes, and wars
change. We are at that moment now.

Wars are completely being changed by
drones, and it seems like we are

the last war as well as fighting the
last one.

No, we're not.

To make you feel better, we absolutely
are investing a lot into drones, drones

of all types, from space down to the
bottom of the ocean.

Space is the new frontier.

You know, China has known this for a
while, that space is a warfare domain.

have refused to believe it for a long
time.

And there's finally investments in that
space.

And so a lot of this money is Golden
Dome, a lot of this, which, you know,

in Reagan's days and Star Wars, like the
technology was not there, but now it

is. But you've got to invest in it and
put it out there.

One of the reasons I've been in L .A.
all week is visiting all these space

companies that are out here.

Because L .A. has one of the, just has
the ecosystem of labor that works in the

space industry.

It's flourishing.

People like...

And companies like SpaceX have obviously
pioneered that. So a lot of investment

in that. A lot of investment in paying
it forward to save the taxpayer money in

the long run. So instead of the stupid
way that we often have bought weapons or

new munitions, we pay more and more and
more later because we tell companies,

like, hey, we might buy some later.

And so what does that do? It raises the
cost of production every time. So no,

put an actual amount seven years out. So
a lot of it is paying it forward and

putting that investment in now.

AI is another big one that you have to
invest in.

Shipbuilding industry as well. So that's
the reason for that massive increase.

And it's not obvious that it would be to
continue to be that. But Bill, the

problem is it's like a layer cake. Well,
you put on the bottom layer and then

we've got a top layer and another layer.
Well, this is the bottom layer is going

to stay the same.

which is about $600, $700 billion, and
then we add another $200.

I used to work on Capitol Hill, and the
defense budget, you know, it's like

going to a jewelry store, and you're
like, I like that one, I like that one,

like that one. We need to have a new
strategic framing for 21st century wars,

and you're absolutely right. We can
learn a lot from Ukraine, but we

keep layering and layering and layering
as if the taxpayers can afford this.

We have to close it there.

Thank you for all your...

Spirited discussion time for new rules,
everybody.

New rules. All right.

New rule, we can all support the police,
but it does have its limits. Like for

this officer who was convicted of
stripping naked and masturbating in a

And I would just like to say to him, you
keep your hands where we can see them.

I would say you're a disgrace to the
uniform, but I see you've sidestepped

issue already.

Neurobaroness, the longest verifiably
measured wild snake in the world.

Better not be lying when it claims to be
23 feet 8 inches long.

Because if we go on a date and it turns
out barrenness is really 23 feet 4

inches, I'm going to be pissed.

I said it in my profile, no games, no
liars.

The next time a toddler gets stuck
inside one of those arcade claw

parents have to buy a couple rolls of
quarters and try to win them back.

I pay thousands in tax dollars to have
fire and rescue pull your kid out of a

box. I pay thousands in tax dollars to
have fire and rescue pull lost dumbasses

off the sides of mountains.

New rules since the Met Ball and the
Kentucky Derby happened in the same

Next year, they have to swap outfits.

The stupid, ridiculous hats that people
wear to the derby, I want to see those

on Kim Kardashian, Bad Bunny, and Doja
Cat.

And at the derby, the redneck who loves
the animal abuse that is horse racing

must come dressed like this.

New World, the winner of the European
Seagull Screeching Championship.

Must be referred to as the loser.

Because anyone can screech like that.
There's a homeless guy on Hollywood

Boulevard who does it all the time.

You want to prove you can act like a
seagull? Steal a french fry out of my

while I'm eating.

And finally, new rule, Luigi Mangione,
Cole Thomas Allen, Tyler Robinson, and

the ghost of Thomas Crooks must form a
boy band called New Kids on the Glock.

Just to drive home the point, these are
not your father's political assassins.

Things have changed.

For one thing, today's assassins have
popular support with the kids. Up to 40

of America's young adults say violence
is okay to achieve a political goal.

Wow. Seems like five minutes ago when
one of the big causes of the left was

control, but now guns are the answer?

I guess, because Luigi is a fucking rock
star.

He's the OG hot assassin.

The young assassins coming up even name
-check him in their manifestos.

When this guy was arrested for burning
down a giant warehouse, he said it was

like when Luigi popped that
motherfucker.

Before this college student threw a
Molotov cocktail at Sam Altman's

talked about Luigi -ing some tech CEOs.

And the asshole currently on trial for
allegedly starting the big fire out here

last year was Luigi's biggest fanboy.

Good to see the kids have role models,
huh?

Another way this new breed of content
creator assassins is different, they

jokes.

Cole Allen called himself a friendly
federal assassin and told his friends he

was going to D .C. for a personal
emergency, wink wink.

His manifesto opens with, hello
everybody.

It sounds like that form letter I get
every Christmas telling me how everyone

doing in a family I don't care about.

Tyler Robinson wrote little jokes on the
bullets he fired at Charlie Kirk.

Things like, if you're reading this,
you're gay, lol.

I mean, John Wilkes Booth was an
asshole, but at least when he did the

said something serious.

Thick -tempered tyrannist. Not, I fucked
your mom.

took selfies before enacting his
diabolically clever plan of running

You know, Cole, why do I think this is
more about you than the cause?

You're running through the metal
detector, but maybe you're really

clout.

Allen wrote that he was consumed by rage
thinking about everything this

administration has done.

Yeah, join the club.

Donald Trump is infuriating. I know this
personally. That's why whenever I'm

around him, I'm so nervous I need a
drink right away.

If you're doing that much rage thinking
about Trump, you're not really mad

at him. You're mad at your life.

This is about being 31 and still living
with your mom in Torrance.

Life was supposed to come out better.
This guy went to Caltech for Christ's

sake. He dreamed of being a video game
designer, but really was a substitute

teacher. Do you think if he'd ever sold
actually a video game and got rich, he'd

be doing this?

Look, I feel for that generation.

You guys grew up with the iPhone, which
fucks people up, and now AI.

No wonder you're always wearing a hoodie
in the fetal position.

Plus, as long as you can remember, the
president has either been dead or this

guy.

So... Sympathy for you, yes.

But also, it's always been thus.

Sadly, your parents and teachers didn't
prepare you for this, so you have no

idea how hard or easy you have it. But
because you're so entitled, you just

assume you have it tougher than anybody
ever did. You don't. In fact, your

generation lives an historically easy
life.

You can get sushi or a weighted blanket
delivered in hours.

You can do your banking sitting on the
toilet.

They sell weed in a store now.

In a financial pinch, you can sell
pictures of your feet.

Your biggest hardship is when the Wi -Fi
drops and you have to briefly

experience the 20th century.

And yet you've convinced yourselves that
your current level of discomfort

justifies revolutionary violence.

Cole Allen's life only sucked by his own
unreasonable standard.

He wasn't on welfare. He was on
LinkedIn.

For his assassination attempt, he stayed
at the Hilton.

If your assassination comes with Hilton
honors rewards points.

Gen Z lives are not that bad. Most of
our lives here in America are not. How

live right now, in the year we're
actually living in, in the country we're

actually living in, doesn't warrant
condoning political violence.

I can see it if you live under a truly
oppressive regime, communism, fascism,

Catholicism.

But that's not where we are now.

You're not storming the beaches at
Normandy. You're not standing in bread

You know, just like our No King we had
here, the protests, they also had them

Iran. But over there, the protesters got
shot in the street. And yes, I did

that, too, twice. The Iranian thugs did
it 30 ,000 times.

Have some perspective.

Get real.

Stop blaming America for all your fuck
-ups. What this is really about for

today's young assassins is when life
lets you down and doesn't properly

you for being the awesome person you're
sure you are.

There's one big save left. Convince
yourself you were meant for a cause

than yourself.

And for Cole Thomas Allen, it was, I'm
fighting Hitler.

And I get why that's a tempting thing to
cosplay.

If Trump is Hitler, then you're Tom
Cruise in Valkyrie.

Nobody's trying to take him out.

Yeah.

I get mistaken for something.

It's a theme show. What can I say?

But Trump isn't Hitler, and you're not
Tom Cruise, and you don't really live on

the desert moon of an evil umpire. You
live in Torrance, which I understand is

not exactly L .A. or London, but please,
you're not in Haiti or Afghanistan.

You're at Coachella.

Life doesn't really suck so bad. You
would just rather be a martyr than

The whole tone of Cole Allen's manifesto
was, sorry guys, but America needs me.

A hero has risen.

You're not a hero.

You're just a guy who runs out into the
field during a baseball game to get

attention and in 10 seconds gets tackled
by security, except in your case, no,

that's exactly your case.

All right, that's our show, I want to
thank.

Representative Dan Trenchard down in
Brazil and Senator John Sutterman. Club

Random every Monday on YouTube.

Or listen wherever you get your
podcasts.

Now go watch Overtime on YouTube.

Thank you very much, ladies and
gentlemen.

Okay.