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It seems today that all you see is
violence in movies and sex on TV.
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00:00:08,029 --> 00:00:13,130
But where are those good old -fashioned
values on which we used to rely?
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00:00:14,530 --> 00:00:16,730
Lucky there's a family guy.
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00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:24,190
Lucky there's a man who finds a new hand
who always will make us laugh and cry.
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00:00:24,550 --> 00:00:28,390
He's a family guy.
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00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,420
You read people? What a stupid magazine.
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Snoopy, fit and fabulous at 75.
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Ugh, Blake Lively just filed another
suit in Prince Edward Island. How many
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places is she gonna sue that guy?
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00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:52,060
You know, honestly, I still don't
understand who Justin Baldoni is, where
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00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:53,520
came from, or where he's going.
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00:00:53,780 --> 00:00:54,980
Hey, he just appeared out of nowhere.
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00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:58,680
Are we sure he's not AI or something?
Well, whoever he is, I hope Ryan
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00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,160
gives him a good bop on the beezer.
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00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:03,120
That's what I need, a Ryan Reynolds.
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00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:04,360
What are you talking about?
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00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:06,110
I'm a single, unwed baby.
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00:01:06,350 --> 00:01:08,090
I'm in the prime of my life right now,
Bri.
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00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:12,170
I've got a steady allowance, I love to
time travel, I'm potty trained, and here
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I am, no ring on my finger.
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00:01:13,810 --> 00:01:17,050
Stewie, you are way too young to even be
thinking about getting married. Where
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is this coming from?
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I just don't want to end up old and
alone like Bill Clinton.
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Hillary, I realize there's no attraction
here, but could you at least not wear
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my pants?
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It's so nice to have the kids out of the
house.
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Yeah, I think the school's going to be
locked down for a few more hours till
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they get the shooter.
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00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:40,300
Oh, we should do these home date nights
more often.
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Or we could go to PetSmart and look at
turtles.
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Hey, can I get a bite of your single
piece of wilting lettuce?
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Perfect. This is why I asked you before
I ordered.
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Maybe it's the $2 wine that's mostly
chemicals, but I have a crazy idea to
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things up.
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On three, you tell me one thing you've
always wanted to do, and I'll tell you
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00:02:04,230 --> 00:02:09,130
one thing I've always wanted to do. I
like that. I can count to three. Okay.
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three.
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00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:11,950
One, two.
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00:02:12,350 --> 00:02:14,450
Crumble Pringles on pizza. I mean sex
tape.
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00:02:14,670 --> 00:02:15,930
Okay, let's do it.
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A lot more coughing and
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sneezing than I remember.
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And you're positive this isn't that tape
that kills you if you watch it in seven
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00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:29,440
days? Pretty sure.
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Is it parked?
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Unfortunately, no.
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We're just kind of in a lull. When
you're on top of me, I can't move, and
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you fall asleep.
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00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:42,500
I'm awake. I'm awake.
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00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,100
Oh, crap. I've got to put the bins out.
51
00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:46,580
Do you have to do that now?
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I'll be right back.
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00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,280
You can't put metal in there.
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00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,060
Why don't we just fast forward?
55
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,200
Sir, your trash cans have to be three
inches apart. We've had this
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00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:01,120
They are three inches apart. I can prove
it right now. I think we should fast
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00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:02,120
forward more.
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00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:10,860
We now return to the Banshees of Ed
Sheeran. For every new song you release,
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00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:12,280
gonna cut off one of me fingers.
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00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:17,040
We'll break out those pinky shears,
cause here comes me new track, Weak
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Ginger Lover.
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00:03:18,540 --> 00:03:23,060
Brr, is it cold in here? Or maybe it's
me, cause I brought the ice.
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00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:28,020
Stewie, I'm a busy man. If you've got
something to say, just say it. I guess
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could say I'm no longer a single lady.
Get it? Like fiance?
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00:03:32,740 --> 00:03:33,900
Okay, what's going on?
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00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,300
Rupert asked me to marry him, and I said
yes!
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That's wonderful, Stewie!
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00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:43,400
Congrats. Boy, I can't believe my little
brother got engaged before me.
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00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,960
Tick -tock, Chris, tick -tock. I don't
think the ring got quite enough
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attention.
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00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,180
Wow, that's a big rock.
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00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:54,480
Well, I asked for three carats or eight
inches, and you don't get both.
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00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:03,080
Hi, Brian. Sorry about the mess. We're
working on our invites.
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00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:07,840
Mr. Thrifty over here wants to use
Evite. You're still doing this? Thought
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00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:08,840
would have moved on by now.
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00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:09,999
Moved on?
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This is a lifetime commitment, Brian.
Well, I saw your registry, and I'm not
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00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,660
buying you a $300 pasta maker.
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00:04:16,029 --> 00:04:18,910
That's all right. The fettuccine
attachment is the only real need.
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00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:22,910
Rupert likes a heartier noodle if you
catch my drift. I don't want to.
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00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:24,770
Oh, did you get to save the date card?
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00:04:25,050 --> 00:04:29,450
No, and I don't know why anyone is
entertaining any of this. Oh, I get it.
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is jealous.
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00:04:30,650 --> 00:04:34,650
We're going to hang out after I get
married. First, once a month, then once
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00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,690
year, then once we have kids, never
again.
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00:04:40,310 --> 00:04:44,670
If I ended a speech with live from New
York, it's Saturday night. You'd get the
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00:04:44,670 --> 00:04:45,670
reference, right?
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00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:49,330
Should I say, live from New York, it's
Saturday Night Live?
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00:04:49,570 --> 00:04:52,930
Is that more clear? Whatever this is
for, you should not.
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00:04:53,190 --> 00:04:55,570
I'm working on my best man speech for
Stewie's wedding.
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00:04:55,870 --> 00:05:01,170
Oh. Well, this is awkward. Um, Stewie
asked me to be the best man.
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00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:02,690
What? He did?
93
00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:07,810
Stewie wants you to be the ring bearer
instead. He thinks it'll be very cute.
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00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:10,990
Honestly, I don't think so. You're not
very charismatic.
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But I'm his best friend.
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00:05:12,610 --> 00:05:14,030
Well, I guess not anymore.
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00:05:14,510 --> 00:05:18,070
How are you going to come up with a
rousing best man speech? You can barely
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00:05:18,070 --> 00:05:18,709
or write.
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00:05:18,710 --> 00:05:22,250
It's not my fault the school replaced
the English department with DoorDash
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00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:25,830
training. How many fries can you take
before it becomes noticeable?
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Nine. Good job, Chris.
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And you read the delivery instructions?
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Absolutely not.
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00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:33,510
Now, repeat after me.
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00:05:33,730 --> 00:05:36,890
This is how they gave it to me. This is
how they gave it to me.
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I have a delivery for Mr. Anderson.
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Where's my bun?
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This is how they gave it to me.
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Last year's valedictory.
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This is why you do it, people.
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00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,380
What's up with your face?
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00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:59,660
Don't be alarmed. I'm doing a series of
peels before the wedding.
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00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,600
Trust me, it's going to look gorge the
day of.
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00:06:04,060 --> 00:06:07,780
So, for theme, are you thinking Rustic
or Regency?
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00:06:08,020 --> 00:06:09,060
No, no, my friend.
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00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:10,860
Nautical Cottagecore.
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00:06:11,180 --> 00:06:15,180
Together? But they're completely
different. It's never been done.
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You're crazy.
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00:06:17,340 --> 00:06:22,840
Crazy like a... Hey, bud, we're kind of
in the middle of something.
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00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:29,660
Stewie, I was thinking, given the
limited size of the venue...
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00:06:30,830 --> 00:06:35,690
We should really talk about not giving
plus ones to guests without significant
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00:06:35,690 --> 00:06:37,210
others. How significant?
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00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:39,910
They should be dating for at least six
months.
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00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:45,770
What if it's a friends with benefits
situation that could eventually turn
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00:06:45,770 --> 00:06:46,689
real relationship?
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00:06:46,690 --> 00:06:50,810
You must have a minimum of three grid
posts together at the time of the
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00:06:50,850 --> 00:06:51,850
No story.
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00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:55,510
Just grid. I don't know what I'd do if
you weren't here steering the ship,
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00:06:55,630 --> 00:07:00,110
Chris. Well, I'm off to Casey's to get
waxed. This peach has fuzzed for too
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00:07:00,110 --> 00:07:05,950
long. Oh, Brian, before I forget... This
is a photo of Sabrina Carpenter's
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00:07:05,950 --> 00:07:08,270
house. Sorry, that's a personal project.
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00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:12,610
Wait, this is just a list of wedding
errands you want me to do. Isn't that
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00:07:12,610 --> 00:07:16,850
job as best man? I'm very busy picking
out the signature cocktail. I was
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00:07:16,850 --> 00:07:20,150
thinking of a tropical -based drink with
a literary twist.
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00:07:20,490 --> 00:07:25,630
I... I want to do that. Sorry, I already
thought of L. Rum Hubbard, and we're
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00:07:25,630 --> 00:07:29,090
doing it. And I need you to pick up
Stewie's fraternity brothers at the
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00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:30,550
Fraternity brothers?
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00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:32,130
Here's their flight info.
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00:07:33,310 --> 00:07:37,310
This is a video for how to break into
someone's house with a link to Sabrina
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Carpenter's address.
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00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:42,510
Oh, boy, my air shop settings have been
all over the place lately.
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00:07:42,990 --> 00:07:44,530
Gotta see them night boobs.
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00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:55,060
I can't believe how awful our sex tape
was. If I'm being honest, I guess I
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00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:57,320
really thought about how long Peeta's
ass crack was.
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00:07:57,740 --> 00:08:01,060
Well, as an outside observer, it seems
like it would be very long.
146
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,760
Making a sex tape is hard.
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00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,840
When we made ours, we had to recast Joe.
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00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,060
Turns out, we just needed a Joe Swanson
type.
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00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:11,040
Hold for plane, hold for plane.
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00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:16,820
All right, Gatorade's down. Back on all
fours in three, two, one.
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00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,460
I once made a naughty librarian porn.
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00:08:21,060 --> 00:08:25,580
I spanked a guy with a book, but I went
too hard and I broke his anus.
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00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,540
A lot of people don't think there's
bones down there, but they're there.
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00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:31,560
They're there.
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00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,780
I don't have many close female
friendships.
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00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,080
So, how do you know the S -man?
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00:08:42,419 --> 00:08:46,880
Lambda Chi or Bank of America? As former
frat guys, we all work at Bank of
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00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:47,819
America now.
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00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:51,900
You get 3 % back on all gasoline
purchases with the Freedom Flex reward
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00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,880
Brian, where do you do your checking?
I'm good with my bank.
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00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:58,200
And what the hell are you guys talking
about? Stewie didn't go to college.
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00:08:58,220 --> 00:09:00,460
he didn't go to class. He'll tell you
that much.
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00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:04,760
The Stew Man is a total legend.
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00:09:05,060 --> 00:09:09,580
One time, he took a dump that got stuck
and clogged up the whole house. For a
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00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:11,860
year, I just went into a tailor -made
golf bag.
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00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,680
He banged my dad as a goof.
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00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:16,760
He did what now? Oh, he's always banging
dads.
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00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:22,240
Total prankster. You'd hate to be an
unbanged dad around that guy. Total
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00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:27,820
The gang's all here.
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00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,640
I thought you couldn't leave the state.
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00:09:29,980 --> 00:09:31,980
Spirit Airlines never pressed charges.
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00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:36,620
Sorry, Brian. I need you to run more
errands. Can you pick up some
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00:09:36,620 --> 00:09:40,760
for the bachelor party? They're all very
phallus -shaped. So without being too
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00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,800
blunt, how many sexual aids can you hold
at once?
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00:09:44,060 --> 00:09:45,340
How big are the sexual aids?
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00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:47,140
They're substantial.
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00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,820
Oh, Mr.
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00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:56,080
Bond.
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00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:58,130
We should have watched Paul Blatt.
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00:09:58,550 --> 00:10:00,210
Guaranteed zero sex scenes.
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00:10:00,610 --> 00:10:03,050
See? The bottoms of his feet aren't
black.
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00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:07,690
Well, I guess he didn't have an awesome
afternoon burying Star Wars figurines in
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00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,389
the garden.
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00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:09,390
I'm going to bed.
185
00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:19,390
Well, I'm going to ignore this
uncomfortable situation by checking the
186
00:10:19,390 --> 00:10:20,390
in other cities.
187
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:24,170
Huh? It's going to be 35 in D .C.? Wow.
188
00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:25,980
Forty in Denver, though.
189
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:30,320
Fresno and Baltimore are the same temp.
You don't see that a lot.
190
00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:33,180
No, you don't.
191
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,060
Finally, I get to have some fun.
192
00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:42,460
Oh, you're not coming. Your job is to
hold all our wallets and not give them
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00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:44,120
us, no matter how much we beg you.
194
00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:49,700
Give it to me! I need my wallet! Please!
I promised Valentina I'd pay for her
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00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:50,700
grad school!
196
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,700
Hey, weren't there three fraternity
brothers?
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00:10:55,940 --> 00:11:00,420
Yeah, crazy RJ put fentanyl in the strip
club pasta and Venkatesh died.
198
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:02,860
I need you to build a wooden funeral
boat.
199
00:11:04,940 --> 00:11:07,600
He beat cancer just to die like this.
200
00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:08,860
Crazy man.
201
00:11:09,140 --> 00:11:12,320
All right, let's get back to the strip
club before they take our wings off the
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00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:13,320
table.
203
00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:21,140
Good morning, I'm Tom Tucker. This just
in, war rages on in the Middle East. And
204
00:11:21,140 --> 00:11:25,540
this not quite in, local man Peter
Griffin tries to pleasure his wife in
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00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:26,540
sex tape.
206
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:32,840
It was totally in. Peter, they have our
sex tape.
207
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,260
How did this get out?
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00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:35,460
I got no idea.
209
00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:39,060
I mean, I did put it on YouTube, because
I thought that's where you put things
210
00:11:39,060 --> 00:11:42,480
that are just for you. YouTube didn't
even bother to censor the video,
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00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:45,500
classifying it as a nature documentary
instead of pornography.
212
00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:54,610
Hey, I don't want to be too forward, but
are you just not going to donate to
213
00:11:54,610 --> 00:11:56,010
Venkatesh's GoFundMe?
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00:11:56,230 --> 00:11:57,690
He had a sister, dude.
215
00:11:58,290 --> 00:12:01,470
She's 42 and very wealthy, but we're
still trying to support her.
216
00:12:01,730 --> 00:12:02,569
No thanks.
217
00:12:02,570 --> 00:12:04,930
Were you at least going to pay for your
room at the Airbnb?
218
00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:06,570
I didn't go to an Airbnb.
219
00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:09,030
Well, we agreed to split it evenly.
220
00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:12,490
You know, you and Stewie have been
treating me like a service animal all
221
00:12:12,810 --> 00:12:17,210
Um, is this about you eating $1 ,200
when no one showed up for the lavender
222
00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:18,210
field experience?
223
00:12:18,710 --> 00:12:22,350
You know, it was just me and the guide,
and I had a lovely time. But no, this is
224
00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:23,850
about me not being best man.
225
00:12:24,130 --> 00:12:27,970
Yeah, because you're the ring bearer.
We've been through this. Here.
226
00:12:28,450 --> 00:12:29,429
What's this for?
227
00:12:29,430 --> 00:12:32,810
You're going to have to tie the pillow
around your waist, since Stewie wants
228
00:12:32,810 --> 00:12:35,270
to be on all fours. The ribbon is
adjustable.
229
00:12:35,550 --> 00:12:37,790
I noticed you ate a lot of strip club
pasta.
230
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:39,050
I had a normal amount.
231
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:40,550
Not really.
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00:12:40,690 --> 00:12:42,950
Venkatesh was talking about it before he
died.
233
00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:47,030
Okay, that's it. I'm done being
humiliated. I am not coming to this
234
00:12:47,030 --> 00:12:48,950
wedding. Okay, well, that's fine.
235
00:12:49,170 --> 00:12:53,610
I regretted ordering the salmon anyway,
so this way I can just eat your steak.
236
00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:56,570
I also ordered the salmon. Get out of my
house!
237
00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:00,050
Why are we all pretending we want
salmon?
238
00:13:05,990 --> 00:13:08,710
I can't believe the big day is here
already.
239
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,860
Everyone saying I'm next.
240
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,080
Maybe.
241
00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:16,720
Can I ask you something? Do you think I
say in my heart of hearts too many times
242
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,260
in my wedding vows? If I'm being honest,
yes.
243
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:23,560
I'm still on the fence. Let's ask Brian.
Where is he? I'm afraid Brian isn't
244
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:28,220
coming, Stewie. I'm sorry. He's kind of
going through something right now.
245
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:29,359
I see.
246
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:33,980
I was hoping during hot, hot, hot he
would get on stage and start the who's
247
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:34,980
call and response.
248
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:37,380
But I guess that's not in the cards.
249
00:13:41,260 --> 00:13:42,580
You know, it's not that bad.
250
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:47,340
We're actually getting a lot of positive
feedback on our sex tape. We got 1 ,000
251
00:13:47,340 --> 00:13:51,920
thumbs up and over 100 thumbs in. The
porn community is very creative.
252
00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:56,740
Oh, and look, somebody named Chris Griff
Official without a check mark posted
253
00:13:56,740 --> 00:13:58,080
three water droplets.
254
00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:01,980
Mayor West?
255
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:03,280
That's weird.
256
00:14:03,460 --> 00:14:05,020
Hello? Hiya, Peter.
257
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:10,060
I'm calling from an iPhone 3 that only
works for 15 minutes a day, so we may be
258
00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:11,740
disconnected at any time.
259
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:16,680
Now, the whole town is in a tizzy over
your cinematic co -mingling.
260
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:21,200
We'd like to honor you and the missus
for your artistic contributions to the
261
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:25,960
form with the Nearby Adults Active in
Creating Pornography Image Award.
262
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:27,740
What's he saying?
263
00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:32,260
We're getting an NAACP Image Award for
how cool our sex tape was.
264
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,000
We're still workshopping in that.
265
00:14:35,050 --> 00:14:36,550
He did say that would happen.
266
00:14:40,870 --> 00:14:42,110
Are you okay, Brian?
267
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:45,130
I notice you're flatter to the ground
than physics allow.
268
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,790
Why didn't Stewie want me to be his best
man?
269
00:14:47,990 --> 00:14:49,390
I thought we were best friends.
270
00:14:49,710 --> 00:14:53,510
I don't know, Brian, but what I do know
is you're being really selfish.
271
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:57,810
I am? Between you and me, I don't even
like Rupert. Awful person.
272
00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:02,990
Just don't go into business with the guy
is all I'm gonna say. But today isn't
273
00:15:02,990 --> 00:15:03,919
about me.
274
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:08,240
Or you. It's about Stewie. After all, a
baby only gets married once.
275
00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:13,940
And I know if I end this speech with the
right tone, you'll say, you know what?
276
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,380
You're right.
277
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,800
You know what?
278
00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:17,980
You're right.
279
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:22,740
I'll go. Now, it's a silver -gold
wedding, so I'd get chop -chop on a tux.
280
00:15:22,740 --> 00:15:25,840
fair warning, all the local places are
long out.
281
00:15:26,180 --> 00:15:27,260
Well, then where am I gonna get a tux?
282
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:32,300
I'm seeing Mr. Tux does have one in
Maine, but you gotta leave right now.
283
00:15:46,860 --> 00:15:52,120
If any of you ever want to be in a
choir, I can probably pull a few
284
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,360
I didn't pay you to make jokes.
285
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,820
Sorry to keep harping on it.
286
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,700
I'm sorry. I'm under a lot of pressure.
That was very funny.
287
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,400
Why is there a chuppah? Um, Rupert?
288
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:09,900
Jewish? Hello?
289
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:14,820
You're trying to think if you ever said
something in front of Rupert right now.
290
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,030
Yep. Where's the groom?
291
00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:18,330
I hope everything's OK.
292
00:16:18,590 --> 00:16:20,210
Is there going to be a shuttle back to
the hotel?
293
00:16:20,490 --> 00:16:22,050
I'm staying at the La Quinta near the
airport.
294
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:24,570
Flights have to stop at 11 PM, so not
too bad.
295
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:27,990
Stewie called off the wedding.
296
00:16:29,050 --> 00:16:30,630
Someone needs to go talk to him.
297
00:16:30,870 --> 00:16:33,050
On the Sabbath, he makes us travel.
298
00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:40,250
Peter, this is so great. I think I can
finally own my sexuality.
299
00:16:40,890 --> 00:16:41,729
What does that mean?
300
00:16:41,730 --> 00:16:44,150
I don't know. Madonna says it a lot. I
think it's a good thing.
301
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:49,540
We're here today to give these fine
folks the rod to the city. Tight fit
302
00:16:49,540 --> 00:16:53,240
the city door, but if you work at it, it
eventually gets looser.
303
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,940
Lois and Peter are not just heroes, but
symbols of body positivity.
304
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:04,960
Their video shows all of us it's okay to
have a knee brace on during times of
305
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:10,060
intimacy. That all of us, past our
prime, no matter how repulsive we may be
306
00:17:10,060 --> 00:17:12,440
look at, deserve to be seen naked.
307
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:13,920
Body positivity.
308
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,000
That's why people liked our video?
309
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:20,119
We salute you for not being ashamed of
your shameful bodies.
310
00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:25,440
I really enjoyed your video.
311
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,900
I'm using it to teach my residents about
botched C -section scars.
312
00:17:29,260 --> 00:17:31,160
Who did that, anyway? It's a hack job.
313
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:32,359
You did.
314
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:33,920
Oh, what a small world.
315
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:38,480
Usually, we have to show students photos
of STDs to get them to sign the
316
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,000
abstinence contract, but this did the
trick nicely.
317
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,320
Thank you.
318
00:17:48,170 --> 00:17:51,150
Thank you for being on theme, unlike Mr.
Octopus.
319
00:17:51,390 --> 00:17:54,450
He dressed for tropical cocktail, way
too many patterns.
320
00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:59,010
Look, Stewie, getting cold feet is
completely normal. As Ernest Hemingway
321
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:01,110
said... It was supposed to be you and me
up there, man.
322
00:18:01,690 --> 00:18:03,530
Huh? Do I have to spell it out for you?
323
00:18:03,730 --> 00:18:05,750
Yeah, just don't spell the word walk.
324
00:18:05,950 --> 00:18:09,230
I really don't have the bandwidth for
that right now. Don't you see? I've been
325
00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:11,170
waiting for you to propose to me for
years.
326
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,730
You want me to marry you?
327
00:18:13,930 --> 00:18:17,030
No, I want you to want to marry me.
328
00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:22,110
Stewie, what do you think marriage even
is?
329
00:18:22,410 --> 00:18:25,250
It's a sleepover with your best friend
that never ends.
330
00:18:25,450 --> 00:18:28,090
It's being roommates for life and going
on adventures.
331
00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:30,330
But I guess you weren't ready for that.
332
00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:34,610
Stewie, we already have that. But
without it being legal, I feel like a
333
00:18:34,610 --> 00:18:39,050
whore. Wait, if you wanted to marry me,
why'd you get engaged to Rupert? The
334
00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:41,190
whole thing was just a ruse to make you
jealous.
335
00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:42,610
Wait, none of it was real?
336
00:18:42,810 --> 00:18:45,250
What about Venkatesh, Crazy RJ, and
Ellis?
337
00:18:45,630 --> 00:18:49,090
They were on Love Island last year. I
can't believe you did all this.
338
00:18:49,610 --> 00:18:50,549
For me.
339
00:18:50,550 --> 00:18:53,570
Of course I did. You're my best friend,
Bri.
340
00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:56,850
Although I guess we'll never have our
own happily ever after.
341
00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:06,630
Stewie, will you marry me?
342
00:19:07,030 --> 00:19:09,050
Oh my gosh, this is so unexpected.
343
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:13,890
Pat Benatar once said, love is a
battlefield.
344
00:19:14,590 --> 00:19:17,650
Pat was right, which I always knew in my
heart of hearts.
345
00:19:17,910 --> 00:19:21,130
But, Brian, in my heart of hearts... Too
many!
346
00:19:21,390 --> 00:19:25,790
I can't think of anyone else I'd rather
grow old with. But like a good kind of
347
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,230
old, not ragged -looking because we
didn't wear sunscreen.
348
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:33,250
Real talk, you've got to be better about
that. But yes, Brian, yes, I will marry
349
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:35,650
you and make you the happiest dog on
earth.
350
00:19:41,090 --> 00:19:44,030
Since when can a dog and a baby not get
a marriage license?
351
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,480
I can't even get an abortion.
352
00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:48,980
Problem solved.
353
00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:50,180
Thank you.
354
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:51,320
Are we done here?
355
00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:53,720
Yes. We forgot about Chris.
356
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:58,120
I wound up marrying the librarian so we
wouldn't lose our deposit.
357
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:03,220
She didn't know my age and wound up
going to jail. I told everyone we did
358
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:07,120
They ended up making a whole movie about
it. They portrayed her as the
359
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:12,340
aggressor. Anyway, my name is Chris
Griffin, and I'm supposed to get a
360
00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:14,980
NAACP Image Award next week.
361
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:25,620
I know everybody's happy for us, but I
wish Pornhub wouldn't use the title
362
00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:28,860
Beauty and Obese. You know what, Peter?
I don't care.
363
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:33,830
Maybe we're not as young or hard as we
used to be, but... There's no one I'd
364
00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:37,430
rather spend my life sweating dark
yellow stains into the mattress with.
365
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:38,670
You really mean that?
366
00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:40,810
Yes. I love you, Peter.
367
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:45,890
Hang on. Let me go get my men's
quadruple XL sex shirt. There's a
368
00:20:45,890 --> 00:20:48,490
sunglasses on it, so you know it's for
big dogs.
369
00:20:48,770 --> 00:20:50,310
Just shut up and kiss me.
370
00:20:51,910 --> 00:20:53,090
Oh, Peter.
371
00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:56,650
Hold for plane. Hold for plane.
372
00:20:57,550 --> 00:21:00,290
All right, Gatorade's down. Back on all
fours.
30193
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