Original subtitles

Yeah.

Oops.

So.

So why are you.

Yeah, about that.

I was making sure I was shaving perfectly.

Hmm. For what and for who?

Well, tonight is me and Billy's first time. Oh, really?

Yeah, Billy's taking me out to eat and then.

And we do the dirty.

But, yeah.

I'm a little nervous.

Oh. Everything's perfect.

Yeah. Perfect shade.

Yeah. For a special person.

Yeah.

Huh.

I wish I had someone, you know, who, you know, is my new genie, you know.

You're a virgin.

We went to the club.

We went to Danny.

I feel like such a loser, like, still a virgin, you know.

No, you're not the only one, you know. Like, I just want to, like, just get it

over with, like. Yeah.

Not say, like, I'm not a virgin anymore, you know. True. It's embarrassing.

Oh, God.

Yeah, it's like, I heard, you know.

Yeah.

Just not sure that I love Billy, you know.

Like, it makes me feel so, I don't know, wrong.

Because I'm pretty sure Billy, like, cares about me that way.

But I don't, you know. Or at least I'm not sure.

Yes. Oh, okay.

I'm attracted to you, and it's like, you're hard, you're, you're, it's like,

you're hard to describe.

You love me? Yes.

Why? Like, I'm so shocked right now.

Really?

Yeah. I mean, I can't believe you haven't told me. Like, you waited until

Well, yes, if you.

Damn, like, that girl is sexy. Like, when you have, like, the perfect tits

everything. But, like, yours. Yours, too.

Come on.

I mean, I was just kind of, I didn't know if that would push you away or ruin

our friendship. I feel the same way. It's like, when I finally just said out,

you know, I love you. You're attractive. I'm really into you.

You know, I'm not sure about Danny, but you, yes.

I'm actually, yeah. Yeah, I guess kind of forget knowing it. You know, what are

we going to do about that?

Well,

I'm glad that we finally got that out. Oh, I'm so glad.

It's like, oh my God, you're hot.

You know, beautiful legs.

I feel the same way about each other. I'm so glad I feel the same way. I was

nervous. I was like, had to say, and I feel like the right moment

to tell you. And you told me you love me too. It's like, okay.

It's like, I don't know, I took a real leap.

Yeah.

It's like, oh, that's good. Everything in me. I feel put in place now. Yeah.

You know?

We see each other in the shower. Come on. We shower together.

I scrub your bag and you scrub mine.

Rubbing. Yes.

um um

It feels right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That's good.

I'm

getting

so wet.

So hot. Okay.

I guess you want to see me naked first.

I wasn't supposed to do that, huh?

God.

I see the tips of yours. Hey, get me on mute.

Just don't even... Just stop.

I know you fucked her.

Like... Well, yeah, you know.

I was... Come on, I'm sorry.

Were you just jealous because I told her I was going to take her to the hotel,

too?

Yeah.

Actually, yeah.

Like, come on. You told her, but you also told me... You fucking bitch.

I can't believe you.

Oh, God.

What is she doing?

Today? Right now?

Yeah.

Like, I mean... You know, it's really not that big of a

deal. It's just your virginity. It was supposed to be special, though.

Well, you know, maybe she just wasn't the right person for you. How do you

I mean, you just know. I mean, it's... Don't be sad. It's not that big of a

deal.

I mean, she went and fucked her and didn't even tell you. Wasn't even going

tell you.

That's true.

I mean... You know, she never really loved you.

Obviously. Yeah.

I don't know.

Come here. It just sucked.

Don't be sad.

You know, maybe... Do you want to go out?

You'd want to do that?

Yeah, like, I mean, you're having a bad day.

Yeah, that sounds fun.

Okay, I mean, you know, there's something I have to tell

you. Do you?

Yeah, I mean, I love you.

You love me? Yeah.

I love you, too.

So...

Do you want to go to the hotel with me tonight?

Yeah. Okay. I do.

Alright, let's go.

So, like, have you ever hooked up with a girl

before?

No,

it's my first time.

Well, maybe I can show you something new.

Maybe you can before.

I'm so nervous.

Me too.

But I think it'll be fun.

Okay. I mean, it can't be that hard, right?

I know.

Okay, so.

You're so cute!

So are you!

I like this. This is fun.

Well, hopefully it gets more fun.

I love

your

dick.

Thank you.

Can I take your shirt off?

Mm -hmm.

Do you want me to take mine off?

Yeah, I'll take it off. Oh, okay.

You're so nice.

Maybe if I can get them undone.

They're really tight.

Make your butt look good now.

What to do with each other now?

Such thick hair.

Yeah,

it is.

No, it's not.

Yeah, it is. It's a big deal.

You were just telling me earlier it's not that big of a deal. Well, I mean...

Okay, but losing my virginity wasn't a big deal, but... I mean, being

in love was...

What do you want, you turd?

To the best night of our lives.

So far.

What do you mean, so far?

I mean, we're only 18.

We're gonna have a lot of better nights.

Yeah, but...

I mean, when we were 16, when we first fell in love, we agreed that we were

going to wait until today, until we were old enough.

I know. And now we know that we like girls.

Girls. You mean girl.

Like, singular.

Yeah. I mean, you said girls, plural, which kind of makes it seem like you

to go get with other girls.

No.

Okay.

Are you serious? Are you really doing this?

I'm just saying, I mean, I don't want to keep you from what you really want.

You know I want you, so just... Just take off your panties and let's get over

with. Okay, right, right. So you can get off to those people that you want to

have sex with, right?

Maybe we just shouldn't do it at all.

Yeah.

No, I only want to be with you.

Me too.

I'm sorry.

You want to start over?

Yeah. That sounds good. All right.

Count of three, okay?

What? Why do you get to choose the number?

Oh, my God.

I love him, Caesar's ghost.

Please don't bring Caesar's ghost into this.

You know what? Fine.

It's your toast.

So, no, you pissed all over my toast, so thanks.

You're just ruining the mood.

Wait, I ruined the mood? Hold on, what?

Yeah, are you serious right now?

All right, well, maybe you could just, we could start over and you could try my

banana.

Come on, come try my banana.

Okay.

Huh?

Did you really just have to do that?

It was just a two.

Okay, Miss Prissy Pants, it's called a fart. Welcome to the 29th century. It's

the 21st century.

I know what century it is.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so divisive.

Yeah.

Let's put our idiocracy aside.

How about you pick the number?

Okay. Well, how about ten?

Why ten?

So I can get you as long as I want?

Ten.

9 8 7

6 5

4 3 2

1

the fall time, it sucks.

It is cold over here. You guys actually have seasons.

Yeah. Let me use your shower to warm up.

Yeah. Yeah, we actually remodeled the bathroom, too, so, like, I don't know if

you remember, like, when we were kids, like, how, like, so rickety and rusty it

was. Yeah, I do. Yeah, that was, like, yeah, that was, like, one of the first

things that we actually did. They actually had that done, like, when I

from college, and I was, like, awesome.

That's great.

Awesome. What have we been up to?

Nothing really.

A lot of just issues that I've been having lately. I don't know.

But besides that, I got back from school. I've just been working around,

the house.

With, like, my parents getting older and stuff like that, they need an extra

hand on that.

Yeah.

They'll think of you around.

Makes sense.

Yeah, it's nice. I don't even have to pay rent anymore. It's, like, coming

like, Florida back to Kentucky and stuff like that. Like where like rent was

like a thousand dollars a month and stuff like that. And like here, I don't

to pay shit. So I'm like, okay, sweet.

Oh yeah. LA was so different. It was crazy. And everybody's crazy.

Really? Yeah, all the people.

It's insane.

You should go out there actually sometime.

You'd like it. Oh, it's insane.

They never find it crazy, but you should go out there.

It's awesome.

Everybody's nuts.

Do you see like a lot of celebrities?

and stuff like that? Like, actually, like, what they see in, like, the

Like, you, like, walk down the street and you see... No.

Because they would sing it or something? Not necessarily. Even if you did, you

wouldn't know. Well, maybe you would know, but I didn't know.

I was too preoccupied living in my own little world.

I don't know what I'd do.

I'd see some of the famous and, like, probably, like, tackle them or

I was like, I love you. And then get arrested.

Yeah. Stop. That's not a good idea.

Maybe I just need to stay my ass here.

It was fun, though.

So, moving to, like, L .A. and stuff like that, you haven't, like, is it,

did you hook up with anyone there?

Anything on there? Like, you haven't told me any stories about you having,

a girlfriend or anything.

No, I, um, I don't know.

What, did you lose your virginity while I was gone?

I didn't bring up that situation about me yet.

Well, I'm asking. I'm bringing it up.

Did you?

I asked you first. I could tell by the way you're...

You did.

Yeah. Look at you.

Okay, tell me. Tell me. All the dirty details. Okay, I'll tell you mine.

And it was. It was in L .A. It was in L .A.? It was in L .A.

Well, it was in Hollywood.

Hollywood? Yeah, at this club.

It was, like, a bondage club. It was really weird. It's all these, like,

people with, like, chains and little leather things on.

Why the hell were you there?

Just for fun. I don't know.

Yeah, I'm telling you, it's crazy.

So you have to tell me yours now.

Tell me first, and then I'll tell you about mine.

I'll tell you half of mine, and then you have to go. It was here or at school?

It was over at the old Olsen's place.

Oh. Yeah.

Okay, tell me. Now I have to know.

Okay, well... Getting down on haystacks or what?

No, it was at their cabin.

Okay, do you know, like, where, okay, where they, like, store, like... like,

mason jars and stuff like that, so, like, the gardens and everything, do you

know, like, where they store it at, like, in the back porch? Yeah, I

yeah. Yeah, we were at, like, it was, like, I don't know whose farewell party

was, but I don't know, someone they know, and I guess they're, like, from

another county over, but we went there, and I swear, I was drinking Jack from,

like, 12 o 'clock in the daytime, and then, like, everybody had, like, the

tequila shots and everything else, and then one thing led to another.

Sarah, do you know her?

Yeah.

Yeah. Really?

Yeah. No way.

Fucking whore of the town. Oh, my God.

Obviously, I want to get with her.

She's, like, the only, like, girl that, like, grows in this, like, whole, like,

community here, so I don't have... I know, but you could have just, like,

someone. Yeah.

Like, hey, um, by the way, I'm lesbian. I've known you for, like, ten years, but

I like your pussy.

Oh, my gosh. So, how was that? How was Sarah?

Very,

very sloppy.

Like, nothing, like, I expected.

Like, I thought it was, like, supposed to be, like, passionate and loving.

And I thought, like, a girl knows a girl.

Yeah. Like, I'm thinking she has all my farts. I have all her farts. She should

actually know what to do. Like, seriously, we still had our clothes on.

Oh, wow.

more about her i think she got off and it was done and you didn't no no

oh no my experience was like pretty similar to that very

awkward but mine was with someone like never even knew okay so i'm at that club

i went to the club with a group of friends and we parked our car in like

parking like it's like pay for it so there's like and while it's super super

packed it's not like home like There's people everywhere, okay?

And we're drinking at the club, and this girl comes up to me. Well, at first I

thought she was a guy, and I told her, like, I'm sorry, I'm not into guys. And

she's like, no, like, oh.

I was like, oh, okay. And then she just kind of, like, added herself to our

group, and we ended up drinking, and then somehow ended up in the car in the

public parking lot with people all around. And then it was like...

I almost don't even remember because it just wasn't good at all. And she just

got out of the car and left. And I never heard from her, saw her. And I don't

even think I know what her name is.

It was not good. It was not good.

It was really bad.

Was it your car?

It was a friend's car.

And you're just like, hey, I'm going to. Yeah, I guess I was just like, where's

your keys?

I made, like, a big scene of it, too, so everybody knew what was going on. So

I'm like, let me see your keys. I'm like, brought her out there.

And then I came back, and she's gone, and I was all alone. So it was even more

embarrassing.

It's like, yeah, let me borrow your keys. I'm going to go do this. Yeah, I'm

going to go do it in the car.

I'm like, oh, it's so awkward.

Yeah.

Well, we both had really bad first times then, huh?

Yeah.

Probably. Fucking horrible times.

What if you could, like, do it over again?

Your first time over again. If you were to, like, forget about all of it.

I would love to. If you have a time machine I don't know about, I'm going to

forget.

I think... Well, I think it would be better, yeah, if we could start over

again.

I don't know, 50.

Well, okay, it's a small town, and we know there's not very many girls, but,

like, girls in this town, but Sarah, and you, and me, and we know Sarah's out of

the picture, so I guess that leaves you and me.

What do you mean?

Um, what I said.

I don't know if you'd be interested.

Would you be down?

I think I would, but I'm not some bitch girl at a club.

Well, I'm not Sarah.

We're four in the town.

Which is better that way.

I would think so.

Okay,

so this is weird and totally unplanned, but I... Okay, so I was thinking about

everything, and before I left L .A. because they have, like, a lot of, like,

stores and things like this, and so I bought some toys.

You know, I should just buy them before I go back home, and then if I try to buy

a sex toy back home, everybody's going to know that it's me at the sex store,

I didn't want to buy one while I'm back home.

So I bought a toy, and then I just got off the plane and everything, and I

didn't want to put it through luggage, and I felt awkward. Like, I felt like I

was doing really bad, so it's kind of in my purse. Do you want to see?

I haven't even opened it yet. Yeah, I want to see it.

I haven't even opened it to film a package.

Holy shit.

You go hardcore, yeah?

Just lift the chain.

You've never used it?

No.

I've never even taken it out.

No, I haven't taken it out.

Did you guys, like, use it?

No, I haven't used it for anything. I just told you. I just bought it. I

used it for anything.

Did you guys use, like, spuds like that in the car? No, I just thought, well, I

just figured I'm going to come back home and there's no girls here and there's

nothing, so I'm going to be all alone.

Might as well get something.

So I did.

And now... It's so awkward in there.

forever. This is kind of strange, but it's not.

Well, I will be honest. I always found you attractive, but I just never thought

I was your type.

Really? That's all I thought.

I always thought you were attractive, but I didn't think I was your type.

Yeah, usually it's just, like, you would, like, go, like, send me pictures

like, the girls that you liked and stuff like that, and it's just, like,

completely not me, and so I, like, never, like, really thought about it.

it not you?

Because, like, these girls are just, like, wild and...

think you like you are crazy you think you're not crazy i'm not diagnosed for

craziness yet not yet not yet it's because you've never gone to be

okay so

all

right don't judge me for the dildo okay it was just something i shouldn't even

show it to you no it's like fine like i don't want you to think i'm judging you

it's just it's Just so out there.

It's not that out there.

I'm telling you, you need to go to LA.

Yeah, expand your mind.

It's not that out there, but it's too good. Just don't even worry about the go

-to. Okay, so what were you saying before that?

Before the whole dildo thing?

No, I was just saying that I just didn't think that was anything you liked.

I think so. We'll find out.

Kiss me.

Yeah? Kiss you? Yeah.

Are you sure? Yeah,

I'm sure.

Yeah. You have to come in for it. I'm not going to be the one that's like, oh,

she came on to me.

Oh, my gosh.

So I have to be, okay.

You have to meet me halfway with it. Okay.

There, I'm half.

What's that giggle about?

Just never really just thought I'd be kissing you.

Good?

Amazing.

A little bit better than black teeth.

I love that.

I'm going to kiss that ass.

It's amazing.

Are you feeling well? Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

to taste that.