Original subtitles

We are now in week nine of our four-week

We are now in week nine of our four-week

We are now in week nine of our four-week war with Iran, and it hasn't been going

war with Iran, and it hasn't been going

war with Iran, and it hasn't been going great.

great.

great. But this morning, there was some

But this morning, there was some

But this morning, there was some unquestionably good news for anyone

unquestionably good news for anyone

unquestionably good news for anyone insider trading the oil markets.

insider trading the oil markets.

insider trading the oil markets. >> And we do have breaking news this

>> And we do have breaking news this

>> And we do have breaking news this morning. White House officials believe,

morning. White House officials believe,

morning. White House officials believe, quote, "The US and Iran are closing in

quote, "The US and Iran are closing in

quote, "The US and Iran are closing in on a one-page memo to end the war."

>> I'm sorry, a onepage memo. How can Trump

>> I'm sorry, a onepage memo. How can Trump

>> I'm sorry, a onepage memo. How can Trump end a war with less paperwork than it

end a war with less paperwork than it

end a war with less paperwork than it took me to end my Planet Fitness

took me to end my Planet Fitness

took me to end my Planet Fitness membership?

membership?

membership? Whoever wrote that memo, can you please

Whoever wrote that memo, can you please

Whoever wrote that memo, can you please organize all bachelorette trips? Can we

organize all bachelorette trips? Can we

organize all bachelorette trips? Can we actually um can we see a copy of this

actually um can we see a copy of this

actually um can we see a copy of this memo?

I I

don't know. I don't know. I mean, is

don't know. I don't know. I mean, is

don't know. I don't know. I mean, is that really him?

Yes. Okay, that's him. That's definitely

Yes. Okay, that's him. That's definitely

Yes. Okay, that's him. That's definitely him. Now, obviously, this is far from a

him. Now, obviously, this is far from a

him. Now, obviously, this is far from a done deal since Iran does not seem to

done deal since Iran does not seem to

done deal since Iran does not seem to trust Donald Trump. Some say that's

trust Donald Trump. Some say that's

trust Donald Trump. Some say that's because Trump famously never honors his

because Trump famously never honors his

because Trump famously never honors his agreements. While others say, "Yep,

agreements. While others say, "Yep,

agreements. While others say, "Yep, that's it." What the first guy said,

that's it." What the first guy said,

that's it." What the first guy said, Secretary of State Marco Rubio has a

Secretary of State Marco Rubio has a

Secretary of State Marco Rubio has a more sophisticated explanation.

more sophisticated explanation.

more sophisticated explanation. >> The time's come for Iran to make a

>> The time's come for Iran to make a

>> The time's come for Iran to make a sensible choice. And it's not easy for

sensible choice. And it's not easy for

sensible choice. And it's not easy for them to do that obviously because the

them to do that obviously because the

them to do that obviously because the top people in that government are to say

top people in that government are to say

top people in that government are to say the least um you know um they're insane

the least um you know um they're insane

the least um you know um they're insane in the brain.

>> Really, Marco? A little inappropriate to

>> Really, Marco? A little inappropriate to

>> Really, Marco? A little inappropriate to be quoting old rap lyrics while you're

be quoting old rap lyrics while you're

be quoting old rap lyrics while you're talking about war. I mean, you imagine

talking about war. I mean, you imagine

talking about war. I mean, you imagine your doctor telling you, "If you're

your doctor telling you, "If you're

your doctor telling you, "If you're looking for the tumor on this scan,

looking for the tumor on this scan,

looking for the tumor on this scan, whoop, there it is."

whoop, there it is."

whoop, there it is." I'm afraid it's actually spread from the

I'm afraid it's actually spread from the

I'm afraid it's actually spread from the windows to the walls.

windows to the walls.

windows to the walls. The sweat dropped down my

The sweat dropped down my

The sweat dropped down my But if you've been watching Marco Rubio

But if you've been watching Marco Rubio

But if you've been watching Marco Rubio for a long time, first of all, what is

for a long time, first of all, what is

for a long time, first of all, what is wrong with you? And second, you know

wrong with you? And second, you know

wrong with you? And second, you know that this is kind of his thing.

that this is kind of his thing.

that this is kind of his thing. >> Every day the Department of War lets the

>> Every day the Department of War lets the

>> Every day the Department of War lets the drummer get wicked over every portion of

drummer get wicked over every portion of

drummer get wicked over every portion of Iran. They should check themselves

Iran. They should check themselves

Iran. They should check themselves before they wreck themselves. If you

before they wreck themselves. If you

before they wreck themselves. If you don't know, now you know. We are dealing

don't know, now you know. We are dealing

don't know, now you know. We are dealing with people over there that have spent

with people over there that have spent

with people over there that have spent most their lives living in a gangster

most their lives living in a gangster

most their lives living in a gangster paradise.

>> I'm sorry. We're getting breaking news

>> I'm sorry. We're getting breaking news

>> I'm sorry. We're getting breaking news that rap is no longer cool.

that rap is no longer cool.

that rap is no longer cool. >> Marco, you've got to drop this. You're

>> Marco, you've got to drop this. You're

>> Marco, you've got to drop this. You're the Secretary of State for Christ's

the Secretary of State for Christ's

the Secretary of State for Christ's sakes, not some lame wedding DJ.

sakes, not some lame wedding DJ.

sakes, not some lame wedding DJ. >> Marco Rubio clocking in for a shift as a

>> Marco Rubio clocking in for a shift as a

>> Marco Rubio clocking in for a shift as a wedding DJ over the weekend.

Yeah. Okay. All right. How is no one in

Yeah. Okay. All right. How is no one in

Yeah. Okay. All right. How is no one in this administration busy? Marco Rubio's

this administration busy? Marco Rubio's

this administration busy? Marco Rubio's DJing. Cash Patel is partying in locker

DJing. Cash Patel is partying in locker

DJing. Cash Patel is partying in locker rooms. RFK is working out with Kid Rock.

rooms. RFK is working out with Kid Rock.

rooms. RFK is working out with Kid Rock. Donald Trump has scheduled nap times in

Donald Trump has scheduled nap times in

Donald Trump has scheduled nap times in THE MIDDLE OF MEETINGS. GUYS, you have

THE MIDDLE OF MEETINGS. GUYS, you have

THE MIDDLE OF MEETINGS. GUYS, you have to focus. We need to end this war. It is

to focus. We need to end this war. It is

to focus. We need to end this war. It is costing us billions of dollars a week.

costing us billions of dollars a week.

costing us billions of dollars a week. Surely there are more important things

Surely there are more important things

Surely there are more important things we could be spending money on.

we could be spending money on.

we could be spending money on. >> Senate Republicans are working to

>> Senate Republicans are working to

>> Senate Republicans are working to secure$1 billion dollars in taxpayer

secure$1 billion dollars in taxpayer

secure$1 billion dollars in taxpayer money for President Trump's White House

money for President Trump's White House

money for President Trump's White House ballroom, saying the money is for

ballroom, saying the money is for

ballroom, saying the money is for security enhancements. H not the

security enhancements. H not the

security enhancements. H not the ballroom again. People didn't even want

ballroom again. People didn't even want

ballroom again. People didn't even want the ballroom when he was building it for

the ballroom when he was building it for

the ballroom when he was building it for free. Now Trump's like, "Okay, I hear

free. Now Trump's like, "Okay, I hear

free. Now Trump's like, "Okay, I hear you, but what if it cost a billion

you, but what if it cost a billion

you, but what if it cost a billion dollars?"

dollars?"

dollars?" And if this ballroom story is making you

And if this ballroom story is making you

And if this ballroom story is making you sick, don't worry. It can also make you

sick, don't worry. It can also make you

sick, don't worry. It can also make you literally sick. Health concerns growing

literally sick. Health concerns growing

literally sick. Health concerns growing from President Trump's ballroom project.

from President Trump's ballroom project.

from President Trump's ballroom project. A new report showing soil taken from the

A new report showing soil taken from the

A new report showing soil taken from the White House construction project has

White House construction project has

White House construction project has tested positive for toxic chemicals.

tested positive for toxic chemicals.

tested positive for toxic chemicals. >> So that soil was dumped near one of the

>> So that soil was dumped near one of the

>> So that soil was dumped near one of the three golf courses at East PTOAC.

three golf courses at East PTOAC.

three golf courses at East PTOAC. >> Oh my god, these poor golfers. First

>> Oh my god, these poor golfers. First

>> Oh my god, these poor golfers. First they can't even clap normally and now

they can't even clap normally and now

they can't even clap normally and now this.

this.

this. I can't believe I'm saying these words,

I can't believe I'm saying these words,

I can't believe I'm saying these words, but the toxic waste the president has

but the toxic waste the president has

but the toxic waste the president has dumped onto the public grounds from his

dumped onto the public grounds from his

dumped onto the public grounds from his demolition of the White House could be

demolition of the White House could be

demolition of the White House could be very dangerous for golfers.

I hope everyone in the DC area keeps a

I hope everyone in the DC area keeps a

I hope everyone in the DC area keeps a safe distance.

safe distance.

safe distance. >> DC News Now's Daniel Hamburg joining us

>> DC News Now's Daniel Hamburg joining us

>> DC News Now's Daniel Hamburg joining us live at the golf course there in

live at the golf course there in

live at the golf course there in Southwest.

Southwest.

Southwest. >> And Daniel, are there health and safety

>> And Daniel, are there health and safety

>> And Daniel, are there health and safety concerns at this point?

concerns at this point?

concerns at this point? There are Susan and Chris.

>> Sure are Susan and Chris. The toxic site

>> Sure are Susan and Chris. The toxic site

>> Sure are Susan and Chris. The toxic site you sent me to is indeed toxic.

you sent me to is indeed toxic.

you sent me to is indeed toxic. Really seems like the kind of thing we

Really seems like the kind of thing we

Really seems like the kind of thing we could have talked about in the studio.

could have talked about in the studio.

could have talked about in the studio. Anyone else taste blood?

Anyone else taste blood?

Anyone else taste blood? But let's move on from the golf course

But let's move on from the golf course

But let's move on from the golf course to something equally toxic. Chuck

to something equally toxic. Chuck

to something equally toxic. Chuck Edwards, North Carolina congressman and

Edwards, North Carolina congressman and

Edwards, North Carolina congressman and guy who's not bald. So stop asking.

guy who's not bald. So stop asking.

guy who's not bald. So stop asking. Turns out he's in big trouble.

Turns out he's in big trouble.

Turns out he's in big trouble. >> Yet another member of Congress facing a

>> Yet another member of Congress facing a

>> Yet another member of Congress facing a House Ethics Committee investigation

House Ethics Committee investigation

House Ethics Committee investigation into allegations of sexual misconduct.

into allegations of sexual misconduct.

into allegations of sexual misconduct. What sources described to me was

What sources described to me was

What sources described to me was inappropriate conduct that crossed the

inappropriate conduct that crossed the

inappropriate conduct that crossed the line. Representative Chuck Edwards had

line. Representative Chuck Edwards had

line. Representative Chuck Edwards had an inappropriate relationship with two

an inappropriate relationship with two

an inappropriate relationship with two young female staffers who were both in

young female staffers who were both in

young female staffers who were both in their 20s. Both of these relationships

their 20s. Both of these relationships

their 20s. Both of these relationships included love letters, personal gifts,

included love letters, personal gifts,

included love letters, personal gifts, personal travel. We saw Edwards write to

personal travel. We saw Edwards write to

personal travel. We saw Edwards write to the staffer that she was quote the most

the staffer that she was quote the most

the staffer that she was quote the most amazing woman. That she quote had

amazing woman. That she quote had

amazing woman. That she quote had written a complex chapter in his heart.

A complex chapter in his heart. What a

A complex chapter in his heart. What a

A complex chapter in his heart. What a sophisticated way of saying me horny.

sophisticated way of saying me horny.

sophisticated way of saying me horny. But yeah.

Yeah. I I believe this guy is a creep. I

Yeah. I I believe this guy is a creep. I

Yeah. I I believe this guy is a creep. I mean, he's the kind of guy who's not

mean, he's the kind of guy who's not

mean, he's the kind of guy who's not wearing a fedora, but when you think of

wearing a fedora, but when you think of

wearing a fedora, but when you think of him later, he's wearing a fedora.

Anyway, we know what his love letters

Anyway, we know what his love letters

Anyway, we know what his love letters were like, but gifts, gifts were his

were like, but gifts, gifts were his

were like, but gifts, gifts were his real love language. He gave these two

real love language. He gave these two

real love language. He gave these two staffers jewelry, designer bags. One of

staffers jewelry, designer bags. One of

staffers jewelry, designer bags. One of the gifts was even a custom puzzle that

the gifts was even a custom puzzle that

the gifts was even a custom puzzle that when you assembled it, revealed a photo

when you assembled it, revealed a photo

when you assembled it, revealed a photo of Adam Sandler with a handwritten note

of Adam Sandler with a handwritten note

of Adam Sandler with a handwritten note asking the staffer to come to a comedy

asking the staffer to come to a comedy

asking the staffer to come to a comedy show, one of Adam Sandler's comedy shows

show, one of Adam Sandler's comedy shows

show, one of Adam Sandler's comedy shows with her.

You sexually harassed your staffer with

You sexually harassed your staffer with

You sexually harassed your staffer with a custom Adam Sandler puzzle.

a custom Adam Sandler puzzle.

a custom Adam Sandler puzzle. Not only are you violating the rules of

Not only are you violating the rules of

Not only are you violating the rules of the workplace, but you're giving her

the workplace, but you're giving her

the workplace, but you're giving her homework. This is I I I DON'T EVEN KNOW

homework. This is I I I DON'T EVEN KNOW

homework. This is I I I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO describe this. This is This is

HOW TO describe this. This is This is

HOW TO describe this. This is This is >> insane in the brain.

>> insane in the brain.

>> insane in the brain. >> Yes, EXACTLY.

For more on the Chuck Edward scandal and

For more on the Chuck Edward scandal and

For more on the Chuck Edward scandal and its fallout, we go live to the capital

its fallout, we go live to the capital

its fallout, we go live to the capital with our very own Michael Costa.

>> Michael, what is your analysis here as a

>> Michael, what is your analysis here as a

>> Michael, what is your analysis here as a pervert expert?

pervert expert?

pervert expert? >> Thank you, Desi. And just to be clear,

>> Thank you, Desi. And just to be clear,

>> Thank you, Desi. And just to be clear, I'm an expert on perverts,

I'm an expert on perverts,

I'm an expert on perverts, not an expert who is also a pervert.

not an expert who is also a pervert.

not an expert who is also a pervert. >> If you say so. What do you think of

>> If you say so. What do you think of

>> If you say so. What do you think of these allegations,

these allegations,

these allegations, >> Desi? These allegations definitely

>> Desi? These allegations definitely

>> Desi? These allegations definitely constitute abuse of power, and if

constitute abuse of power, and if

constitute abuse of power, and if proven, they justify severe punishment.

proven, they justify severe punishment.

proven, they justify severe punishment. No ifs, ands, or buts.

No ifs, ands, or buts.

No ifs, ands, or buts. >> Thank you, Michael.

>> Thank you, Michael.

>> Thank you, Michael. >> BUT

>> BUT

>> BUT as far as congressional allegations go,

as far as congressional allegations go,

as far as congressional allegations go, I got to be honest with you, this weirdo

I got to be honest with you, this weirdo

I got to be honest with you, this weirdo was pretty thoughtful.

was pretty thoughtful.

was pretty thoughtful. Wait,

Wait,

Wait, >> what are you talking about? You can't

>> what are you talking about? You can't

>> what are you talking about? You can't hit on your staff.

hit on your staff.

hit on your staff. >> Obviously. No, no, no, you can't.

>> Obviously. No, no, no, you can't.

>> Obviously. No, no, no, you can't. >> Yeah,

>> Yeah,

>> Yeah, >> no one should. Hey, don't do that.

>> no one should. Hey, don't do that.

>> no one should. Hey, don't do that. >> Right.

>> Right.

>> Right. >> They make me sick. Literally, I threw up

>> They make me sick. Literally, I threw up

>> They make me sick. Literally, I threw up all over the place when I heard it. I'm

all over the place when I heard it. I'm

all over the place when I heard it. I'm standing in my own puke right now.

standing in my own puke right now.

standing in my own puke right now. But

But

But normally this type of thing is

normally this type of thing is

normally this type of thing is dickpicks, strip clubs, watching an

dickpicks, strip clubs, watching an

dickpicks, strip clubs, watching an intern walk by and going ha.

But a creep who takes the time to make a

But a creep who takes the time to make a

But a creep who takes the time to make a custom puzzle of the cobbler star Adam

custom puzzle of the cobbler star Adam

custom puzzle of the cobbler star Adam Sandler isn't just thinking with his

Sandler isn't just thinking with his

Sandler isn't just thinking with his penis.

penis.

penis. He's thinking with this

He's thinking with this

He's thinking with this >> his chest penis

>> wait.

Can you back up a bit? The the cobbler

Can you back up a bit? The the cobbler

Can you back up a bit? The the cobbler is what you know Adam Sandler from?

is what you know Adam Sandler from?

is what you know Adam Sandler from? >> Is he in other stuff? I thought he was

>> Is he in other stuff? I thought he was

>> Is he in other stuff? I thought he was just that and sometimes some pub

just that and sometimes some pub

just that and sometimes some pub puzzles.

puzzles.

puzzles. >> Okay. I don't think being a creep is

>> Okay. I don't think being a creep is

>> Okay. I don't think being a creep is okay as long as you give gifts. Totally

okay as long as you give gifts. Totally

okay as long as you give gifts. Totally agree. Okay, again, Dez, I'm ankle deep

agree. Okay, again, Dez, I'm ankle deep

agree. Okay, again, Dez, I'm ankle deep in my own lunch right now. All right, my

in my own lunch right now. All right, my

in my own lunch right now. All right, my loafers are covered in riotoni,

loafers are covered in riotoni,

loafers are covered in riotoni, >> but

>> but

>> but thoughtful gifts do make bad things

thoughtful gifts do make bad things

thoughtful gifts do make bad things slightly less bad. Look, it's like when

slightly less bad. Look, it's like when

slightly less bad. Look, it's like when you go to the dentist and they give you

you go to the dentist and they give you

you go to the dentist and they give you a little biff gift bag on your way out.

a little biff gift bag on your way out.

a little biff gift bag on your way out. Look, I'm not happy about the visit, but

Look, I'm not happy about the visit, but

Look, I'm not happy about the visit, but the extra toothbrush is nice to have

the extra toothbrush is nice to have

the extra toothbrush is nice to have around, especially when you puke as much

around, especially when you puke as much

around, especially when you puke as much as I do.

as I do.

as I do. >> Right. But but that gift isn't

>> Right. But but that gift isn't

>> Right. But but that gift isn't thoughtful at all. Clearly, he just

thoughtful at all. Clearly, he just

thoughtful at all. Clearly, he just wanted to go to an Adam Sandler show. A

wanted to go to an Adam Sandler show. A

wanted to go to an Adam Sandler show. A 25-year-old woman doesn't care about

25-year-old woman doesn't care about

25-year-old woman doesn't care about Billy Madison.

Billy Madison.

Billy Madison. >> Who's Billy Madison? Is that another

>> Who's Billy Madison? Is that another

>> Who's Billy Madison? Is that another congressman?

congressman?

congressman? >> My my my point is there's no room for

>> My my my point is there's no room for

>> My my my point is there's no room for inappropriate behavior in a workplace. I

inappropriate behavior in a workplace. I

inappropriate behavior in a workplace. I don't care if there are gifts involved.

don't care if there are gifts involved.

don't care if there are gifts involved. Perverts can't excuse their perversion

Perverts can't excuse their perversion

Perverts can't excuse their perversion by offering gifts to victims as a way of

by offering gifts to victims as a way of

by offering gifts to victims as a way of mitigating the foundational wrongness of

mitigating the foundational wrongness of

mitigating the foundational wrongness of their perversion.

their perversion.

their perversion. >> Well, well, well.

>> Well, well, well.

>> Well, well, well. Looks like someone has joined the ranks

Looks like someone has joined the ranks

Looks like someone has joined the ranks of the pervert experts. Welcome to the

of the pervert experts. Welcome to the

of the pervert experts. Welcome to the club, Desi.

club, Desi.

club, Desi. Your welcome gift is a custom puzzle of

Your welcome gift is a custom puzzle of

Your welcome gift is a custom puzzle of tickets to the cobbler.

tickets to the cobbler.

tickets to the cobbler. >> Okay. All right. Thank you, Michael.