Original subtitles

Good one.

Tony, what's up?

Hey, Black Widow. Ah, not much. No big deal. Just someone trying to break into

our secret vault.

Anyone want to help me stop them?

Meet you there.

Greetings, Avengers.

Loki? You really should be more careful. This not -so -secret vault was quite

easy to find and break into. What have you stolen, Loki?

Hello, brother.

Stolen? You offend me. With all the dangerous and rare items you've locked

in here, I should think it would be a bit more... secure.

I demand to know what you've taken.

Typical Thor.

Always rushing to judgment. Honestly, I don't know how the rest of you Avengers

put up with him.

I told you I have stolen nothing.

Loki!

You guys need help?

All good. Got it covered.

Okay, then.

Let's check the inventory to see what he stole.

Sure you're good?

All good.

Got it covered.

Are we having fun

yet? Enough!

Not that I want to defend Loki, but nothing's missing from the vault.

Impossible. What trickery is at hand, Loki? Trickery?

On the contrary. I've been trying to tell you.

I'm here to help.

My friends, I have seen the error of my ways.

I've looked deep down inside myself at the good I'm capable of and made a

decision. I shall be a hero.

I, Loki, shall be your newest Avenger.

Nope. No way.

Far be it from me to criticize, but clearly you can use my help. For

this primitive locking mechanism that Tony built for your vault. Look how

quickly a devious mind can dispose of it.

Tony? Primitive?

Wait just one minute, Loki. Let's go. As you wish. Now that we're finished here,

where do you keep your tailor?

We have a tailor.

Guys. Loki being here could mean real trouble. Loki wanting to be an Avenger

means real trouble.

Hey, he can't wear my uniform.

That's right. That helmet does not go with that uniform.

If Loki really wants to be good, why don't we keep him busy as an Avenger in

training while we determine what he's up to? Train Loki?

I'm not sure he has what it takes to be an Avenger.

Yeah, Tony, you can't be serious.

Loki can be like our...

Intern. Maybe he'll make a good hero. Who knows?

Should we give S .H .I .E .L .D. a heads up?

Loki hasn't done anything wrong yet, and this way we can keep an eye on him.

Besides, Nick Fury's a busy spy doing spy stuff.

Have Engineering check rotor number four and make sure the Quinjet's the service

and fuel ASAP. And when you have a moment... Huh?

Hey!

Nebula, you're not from around here.

Like all planet not from around here. You've done your research.

Yeah, well, I know everything.

What do you want, Nebula?

That would be telling.

Let's just say this helicarrier will do nicely as my new base of operations.

Loki, take that off. You're embarrassing me.

Embarrassing? I think it's quite flattering on me. I wonder if it comes

green. Only red and gold. And sometimes silver.

Looking good, Loki. But you're an Avenger in training.

No costume or armor until you log some hours in the field.

My birthday avenging. Excellent. What criminal empire shall we crush?

What supervillain shall feel my wrath?

What intergalactic threat shall we laugh in the face of?

I have infinite cosmic knowledge, a super strategic mind, vast power, and

bring me here to get a cat out of a tree?

You can't be serious.

This is a perfect first mission for an intern.

Uh, Avenger turn?

Avenging intern?

If you want to be an Avenger, you must act like an Avenger. No job is too big

too small.

Yes, yes, I get it. Move aside, Earth child.

We shall pay for that.

for the intern.

You cannot just blast your way through every challenge that presents itself.

This coming from Thor, son of Odin, Mr. Lightning and Thunder, bashing

everything with your hammer all of the time.

You've got a point, Thor.

No, he doesn't. I wield this hammer with the precision of a surgeon.

Listen, Loki, all Thor's trying to say is that you need to be more careful.

Remember, we're here to help, and we work better as a team.

Hey, Black Widow. Looks like you're chasing bad guys. Do you need... Bank

robbery. It's Crossbones, and his crew's armed with some real high -tech stuff.

High -tech bank robberies? That's not good. Not good?

It's great!

This is so much better suited to my skill set.

Just look for the skull -faced madman driving too fast.

Consider it done.

Loki, wait!

You think you can evade Loki?

Oh, sorry, wrong skullface driver.

I demand you stop this vehicle immediately, vile criminal!

Hello, brother.

The Earth criminals really don't respect that I'm an Avenger. That's because you

are not an Avenger, at best.

No one's better!

Loki!

Uh -oh.

Everyone get back!

Thanks,

Hulk. Give me five.

Once again, no thank you for Loki.

I ask you, where is the gratitude?

Gratitude? For being reckless?

For endangering these citizens?

Your selfishness will preclude you from ever becoming an Avenger, Loki.

Whatever dark crevice of the universe you crawled out of, return to it and

my friends and this planet be.

Easy, Thor.

Yeah, buddy.

Bad guys busted, nobody hurt. We'll figure this out. No more games, Loki. I

it.

That was awkward.

He's always been like that, you know? That temper. Even when I try to do good.

Maybe Thor's right.

Maybe I'm not cut out for this hero business.

I should thank you, Nick Fury, for your hospitality.

This is quite perfect.

Don't mention it. You gonna clue me in yet on what you're using my helicarrier

for?

Since you are sealed safely in your containment box, I guess it won't hurt.

This helicarrier and everyone on it, including you, are the bait.

We're the bait? Let me guess.

For the Avengers?

You are clever.

The last thing we need is an angry and sullen Asgardian wandering the city.

Are we talking Thor or Loki?

Loki! Yeah, we gotta find... Found him!

That was fast.

We found Loki.

Copy that, Widow. Hulk, Cap, and I will meet you there.

Hey there, Loki.

What's going on? I'm cheering myself up with earth pastries. Why did someone

deliberately put a hole in its center?

We have no idea. If this was an Asgardian delicacy, it would be fully

with nothing removed from the middle.

There's our fearless intern.

Don't worry, Loki. Thor will cool off. At least, he usually cools off.

Besides, you guys are family, right?

No!

Hey, Hulk.

You can eat all those yourself?

That won't my plan.

That's odd.

What's the helicarrier doing up there?

Iron Man to Nick Fury. What's going on up there?

Avengers, this is Fury. Can you hear me? Come in. Our guidance system's

experiencing power failures. In need of urgent assistance.

Grippy, we are in need of your assistance.

Fury needs us.

Let's move.

Hang on, Loki. We need a plan.

Hawkeye? I need you to monitor the situation from Avengers Tower in case

escalate down here. On it.

Loki, I need you here on the ground to make sure everyone's kept safe.

Ridiculous. An out -of -control helicarrier suits my vast power

Being an Avenger is about being a team player, which means right now we need

down here.

Just received a distress call from Nick Fury.

Way ahead of you.

Team player, eh?

Well, this looks like fun.

Something tells me... These guys aren't working for sales.

Chitauri! Crap! Avengers!

Do not!

Assemble! You hear that transmission from Tony?

Avengers!

Assemble! I'm pretty sure he said Avengers assemble.

I really wish he was out seeming my life.

Hmm.

Well, I could save some of them for us, Iron Man.

Is it just me, or are you feeling a little unwelcome up here?

This is always how the Chitauri welcome us.

They grabbed me!

Don't try to fuck.

Hi,

Natasha. Got you too, huh?

who you're messing with, right?

Can't get a shot!

There's too many of them!

Going down!

I've had worse landing.

Hey, big guy. Hey, Cap.

Where were you even keeping that?

You're not going to believe this, but we're actually here to rescue you.

Silence! You will all show respect.

Respect? For who?

Why, my father, of course.

The one and only.

What brings you to our fine planet?

A cute Robo -Thano thing you got going on there, by the way.

The ever -charming Iron Man.

Even when defeated and stuck in a tiny little box, Loki has stolen my McFinity

gauntlet, and I want it back.

I'll tear apart this entire solar system to find it, starting here with your

precious city.

The Chitauri have yet to find the two of Guardians, Father.

Set course for Avengers Tower and find them!

Hello, brother.

Still mad?

If you want to stay here, you must learn to be a team player.

I cannot allow you to endanger my friends and this planet.

Yes, about that.

We need to rescue your friends.

And also the angry guy with the eyepatch. Then we need to save all the

this planet.

Wait, what? Rescue them from whom?

Thanos. Thanos?

Why, in the Ten Realms, is he on Earth?

I may have stolen the Infinity Gauntlet he built for his mech. He calls it his

Mechfinity Gauntlet, which personally I think is a little on the notion.

Stole the Infinity Gauntlet from Thanos?

Technically the Mechfinity Gauntlet, but yes.

And you hid it in our vault, didn't you? Why did you not tell me this?

I couldn't allow Thanos to wield that power.

It would mean great peril for the entire universe.

Wait. You didn't want it for yourself.

You, Loki, were trying to protect the universe.

Shocking. Yes, I know.

Listen, brother. I thought if anyone could help me, it was you and the

You thought right.

First we rescue the others. Then we destroy the Maxinity Gauntlet and reach

world of Thanos. But we must work together.

Understood? Understood.

I'm certain I'll find my Macfinity gauntlet here, as well as the Asgardian

hiding like a coward.

You will crush him, the Avengers, and whoever stands in your way, Father.

Yes, I will.

Why are the prisoners still here?

The prisoners are to be released from containment and moved to the helicarrier

brig.

Open the containment widget.

Now!

Uh, thanks, Nebula.

Don't mention it.

What is this?

On Earth, we call it a jailbreak. Definitely looks like a jailbreak.

Stop them!

Quickly, we must go. Thanos is en route to your vault. And why do we trust you,

Loki? We know you stole the Macfinity Garbage.

You needn't trust me, but you do trust Thor.

And right now, he's at the vault about to face Thanos on his own.

Tony, you and Cap go.

We'll clean up around here.

Let's go!

Hey, Cap, time to go.

I see you're not a coward like your brother.

You'll find that no son of Odin is afraid of a fight.

Especially me.

You'll have to do better than that.

Oh, I will.

You didn't see that coming, did you?

Valiant effort, Asgardian.

But you have law.

only he needed a better lock on this door? Ah, yes.

The thief.

I'll enjoy crushing you as I reclaim what is rightfully mine.

Do you really believe you can defeat me on your own, coward?

And why should I have to face you on my own?

Sorry we're late.

Yeah, I thought we'd put on something a little more appropriate.

You're already too late.

What am I watching?

Hey, Hulk, now that Fury has everything under control, better get down to the

phone.

What is this?

Oh, Thanos.

Yes, I forgot to mention.

While I did indeed hide your gauntlet here, I took all of the Infinity Stones

out of it and hid them elsewhere in the universe. Those stones are, as they say,

costume jewelry.

They're worthless. No cosmic power.

Not even that pretty to look at, really.

This can't be!

You stole the Infinity Stones and purposely led Thanos here so we'd battle

for you? That's deceitful even for you, Loki. Tony, Natasha, Bruce, together as

a team, we have just defeated Thanos and saved the universe.

Not bad for an Avenger in training, I'd say.

And where, dear brother, have you hidden the real Infinity Stones?

I assure you, somewhere much more secure than this supposedly secret vault.

I've given it much consideration, and I've decided I'm not good at this hero

thing. I'll leave it to you, Avengers.

You are the real heroes.

Until we meet again.

That's family for you.

No!