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GENTLE PIANO MUSIC
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I'm just gonna put that...
Is it OK if I put that...?
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Thank you.
4
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Oh...
5
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So sorry. I think
my sleeve is, um, sort of
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00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,640
inside of me somehow.
7
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Let me help you.
No, no, no. No, I've got it.
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I'm just gonna take a breath.
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Sorry.
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I'm normally really good
at taking my coat off.
11
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I think I'm just tired.
12
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I got up really early
this morning to do,
13
00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,760
um, a sunrise aura reset
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because my best friend Eddie,
15
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,360
um, she has this amazing new
friend who's, like, a healer.
16
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,000
And, um, I'm getting to,
like, learn all about her
17
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,600
because she's, like, always there!
18
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,280
PHONE VIBRATES
Ohh. Sorry.
19
00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:57,920
It's...
20
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,040
SHE GROANS
21
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,320
But, um, I'm just here to have
lunch with my dad. Um...
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We've actually been estranged
for three years,
23
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but, um, I'm in, like,
a really good place.
24
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I think he should see that.
25
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:18,640
And, you know, also, he will
die one day, fairly soon,
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due to his lifestyle choices.
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I don't want to feel guilty
at his funeral.
28
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He's just very... Well,
you know what dads are like.
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My dad died before I was born.
30
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That is so...
Do you have a reservation?
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Yeah. It's under Mark Anderson.
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The other party is already here.
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This way, please.
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LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
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You can make it on your own, right?
36
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:49,440
Yep.
37
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,320
I told Ricky, "You'll have
to do it without me."
38
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There's nothing funny about
watching people
39
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working in an office.
40
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LAUGHTER
41
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He goes on about it
every time I see him.
42
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Maggie! There you are. Sit!
43
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:03,680
Are you all right?
44
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,160
You're not taking that
Thai valium again, are you?
45
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,840
Is there anything
you want to say to me?
46
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Hello?
We haven't spoken in three years.
47
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Oh, yes, we have. No, we haven't.
48
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I saw you last year
at Emma's wedding.
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That was six years ago.
50
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I don't think so.
51
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,120
We're estranged. Did you...?
52
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,120
Did you not know that?
53
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,040
No, I did not know that.
54
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:35,880
Have you lost weight?
55
00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:37,440
You look less...
56
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,960
puffy. Ah...
57
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Excuse me. I'm just going to...
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..piss.
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
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DOOR OPENS
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00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,480
INDISTINCT CHATTER
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LINE RINGS
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EDDIE ON PHONE: Hey!
Hey! Oh! Oh, my God.
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It is going so badly with my dad.
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Wait, let me put you on
speaker. Whitney's right here.
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00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,640
Oh, no, no, no. That's not...
WHITNEY: Hey, Maggie.
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I hope you're wearing
your unity crystal.
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00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,040
Have you led him through
a brief grounding chant
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00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:45,920
like I suggested? Not yet.
69
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,960
Then get back out there, girl.
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00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,320
It's just...
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00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,800
..Dad hadn't actually noticed
we were estranged,
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00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,880
which begs the question,
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can you even be estranged
from someone
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if the other person has no idea?
75
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:05,320
You know what would really help
is a percussive bonding ritual.
76
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,040
OK, great. Yeah, I'll try that, then.
77
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,240
WHITNEY LAUGHS
Oh, no. Oh, I'm so sorry.
78
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,720
No, it can't be done by an amateur.
79
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Oh, I wish it was that simple.
80
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Could you do it, Whit?
81
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I mean, I've perfected
the technique.
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00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,760
You know what?
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00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:24,040
I'd love to give this gift
to you, Maggie.
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00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,200
Could you bring Pops to us?
85
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My rainstick does not travel well.
86
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:31,400
Ah, yeah. No, that...
That sounds amazing.
87
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,160
I just don't know if I could
get my dad to go along with it.
88
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,400
Mags, I know your dad's a menace,
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but Whitney's
done this 100 times.
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00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,120
She's the reason Angelina lets
Jon Voight round for Christmas.
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00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:45,800
Well...
92
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,160
..don't ask, don't get, right?
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00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,920
Oh! Amazing!
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00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,240
You're really starting to become
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someone of substance, Maggie.
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SHE LAUGHS
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CALL DISCONNECTS
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Great.
99
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:13,560
So, even though you haven't
noticed, we are estranged.
100
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,600
I'm not sure that's possible
101
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if one of the estranged is
unaware that he's estranged.
102
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,280
Yeah, I'm pretty sure a normal parent
103
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,600
would have noticed they
haven't spoken to their daughter
104
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in over three calendar years.
Oh, it hasn't been that long.
105
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,840
Yes, it has.
All right. We can pretend it has,
106
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if that's what you prefer.
107
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,040
Oh, we don't need to pretend,
because it is the literal truth.
108
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,160
Your generation
is wholly responsible
109
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,400
for the rampant overuse
of the word "literal".
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00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,080
It literally makes me want to carry
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00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,880
a dictionary around
so I can throw it...
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Listen, you reached out to me.
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I have been doing great without you.
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Work has been amazing.
I have a play...
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So sorry, Mr Anderson.
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I wanted to send a little
something over.
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I'm a huge fan. I had
the DVD box set of Man Ager.
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I used to watch it literally
every day before school.
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I wish you were still on TV.
Oh, please.
120
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,200
Come on. It's a young man's game.
121
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,080
You could do Taskmaster.
You would be so funny.
122
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,800
Could we get another water, please?
123
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,360
Of course. Oh, thank you so much.
124
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You know, Maggie,
it's really telling
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00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,760
how people treat restaurant staff.
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00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,760
We were having a conversation.
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No, WE were having a conversation.
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As I was saying... Glass of fizz?
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Uh...
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Are you drinking again?
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Oh, come on, Maggie, try and relax.
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PHONE VIBRATES
133
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,920
Uh, hey, just out of interest,
what do you think
134
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,120
of people who are, like,
into crystals and...?
135
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First to go at my revolution.
136
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Yeah, that's what I thought.
137
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Come on. You were telling me
about your work.
138
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:25,480
Um...
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00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,320
Yeah. So, um,
140
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my play Like Glue
nearly won this huge award.
141
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Only nearly?
142
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Well, I got down to the final five
143
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out of thousands
of submissions, so...
144
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,520
Oh, wow.
145
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,000
My agent said a lot of theatres
are really interested in it.
146
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So what's your plan B?
147
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Sorry?
148
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Well, you've you been trying
to get the writing going
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for some years now.
Isn't it time that, you know,
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00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,000
you considered exploring
other avenues?
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00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,120
Uh...
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Yeah, I'm gonna need
another one of these.
153
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,480
I am going to have the burger,
please.
154
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,600
Actually, I'll have
the, um, Caesar salad.
155
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,840
Yeah. I'll have the burger, please.
156
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Yes, sir.
157
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,360
Right, so I've got something
to ask you,
158
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,720
and I'd like to get
this out of the way,
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00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,560
if I might.
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00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:27,240
I realised I haven't been
the most family-orientated father,
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00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,920
but, you know, to be fair
to me, I've had my work...
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00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,400
There's a woman over there who
has not stopped staring at us.
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It tends to happen.
No, but I recognise her.
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I swear I've met her before.
Maggie, please concentrate.
165
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,880
Tonight, the National Comedy Awards
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are presenting me with
a lifetime achievement award.
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OK.
168
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,680
Congratulations? Thank you.
169
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,160
And I'd like you to come with me.
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As you know, I gave up
television, oh, what,
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20 years ago, and I normally
turn these kind of things down,
172
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,280
but I thought, no, no, no,
it might be nice now
173
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,720
to acknowledge the impact
my work has had
174
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,480
on the British comedy landscape.
175
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,400
You know, my parents are long gone,
176
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,440
and as lovely as your mother
may be,
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00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,800
I realised shortly
after our wedding...
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00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,200
..that marriage probably
wasn't for me.
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00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,120
Shortly after your wedding?
So essentially, Maggie,
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00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,200
you are my only family,
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00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,240
and I would like my family
with me tonight.
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SHE LAUGHS
183
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,240
I'm just a little taken aback,
I suppose,
184
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:33,040
because you have never,
ever included me
185
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:36,760
in anything to do with your work
or indeed life before.
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Well, I'm a private man.
187
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I am your biological child.
188
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,680
Tonight is important.
189
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And you are important to me.
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LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
191
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,360
I stupidly cast a dog.
192
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,600
I mean, what was I thinking?
193
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,480
MARK BARKS
All the time, yapping away!
194
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,800
You know what? Someone nicked it.
195
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,280
Ran off with it.
196
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,840
People stole everything
in those days!
197
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,840
The '90s were much simpler. Hey!
198
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,280
MAGGIE LAUGHS
199
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,160
Do you know we had
an on-set coke dealer?
200
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,080
No, you didn't. Yeah, yeah.
201
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,160
Do you know, I put him
in series three
202
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:22,840
after the actor we originally
cast got hit by a jet ski.
203
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,360
What? Yes!
204
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,120
There were so many more
jet ski accidents back then.
205
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,280
There were. It was a weekly
occurrence. Brr-rrm!
206
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,040
PHONE VIBRATES
207
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,600
Oh, yes.
208
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,920
Ohh...
209
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,280
Oh, poo on... me.
210
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,800
I beg your pardon? Um...
211
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:47,560
Uh...
212
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:52,120
Sorry. Tell me more about...
PHONE VIBRATES
213
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,440
What?
214
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,720
MAGGIE GROANS
215
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,120
OK.
216
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,680
Um, OK. Um... OK, I'll come.
217
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,200
What? Excellent. Yeah.
218
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,400
If you do something for me now.
219
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,400
What...what...what's going on?
220
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:15,920
Look, Eddie has become one
of those crystal woo-woo people,
221
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,200
and she goes everywhere
222
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,120
with this awful TikTok hippie
named Whitney.
223
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,800
And long story short,
they are coming here
224
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,760
to perform a father-daughter
healing ceremony
225
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,440
using a rainstick,
and I can't stop them.
226
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,320
So just say nothing or nod.
227
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,360
And basically,
if we get through this,
228
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:29,760
I will come with you
to your awards thing.
229
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,360
Do we have a deal?
230
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,040
Is Eddie your boyfriend?
231
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,160
No. Eddie is a girl. She's my friend.
232
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,320
You have met her several times.
233
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,840
Ah. Do we have a deal?
234
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,400
I'm not sure what the deal is,
but all right, fine.
235
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:46,960
Just say nothing. Or nod. OK?
236
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,080
Hey, girls.
237
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,640
Mr Anderson, hi, I'm Whitney.
238
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:53,720
I am sure Maggie has told you
all about me,
239
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,480
but I am a professional
light worker.
240
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,280
And, well,
since losing my own father,
241
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:01,400
I've become particularly passionate
about helping daddies.
242
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,440
I just spoke to the hostess,
243
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,840
who is such a sweetheart,
by the way.
244
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,720
Literally an angel.
Yeah, I love her as well.
245
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,640
And she's actually given us
use of the private dining room
246
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:12,960
for a couple of hours.
247
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,000
I mean, God, isn't that so kind?
So kind.
248
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,560
So we'll go set up,
249
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,960
and once we're done,
we can get started.
250
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,840
Oh...
251
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,680
WHISPERS: If you're concerned about
252
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:26,800
the friction inherent
in Maggie's aura...
253
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,720
..we've been working hard on that.
254
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,840
I think you'll be
pleasantly surprised.
255
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,680
See you in there.
256
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,160
SHE EXHALES
257
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,160
There's so many places
I could start,
258
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,400
but "professional light worker"
is as good as any.
259
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:52,320
Don't. Look, I just need to figure
out a way to get them out of here.
260
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,440
What possessed you to go along
with something
261
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,960
as excruciating as this?
262
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,400
Eddie is my best friend,
and I just wanna support her.
263
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,920
Oh, cut the shit. You're not
doing this to be supportive.
264
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,800
You're doing this
because your best friend's
265
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,760
got a shiny new pal,
and you're all jealous.
266
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,920
And I'm assuming
because you're at "join 'em"
267
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,040
you failed at "beat 'em",
268
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:12,480
and now, instead of being
honest with your friend,
269
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,600
you're prepared to go along
with her delusions
270
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:15,800
for, what, months, years,
271
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,120
or until one day you wake up
in a hippie commune in Wales
272
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:22,120
with no running water and at least
one suspicious death?
273
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,520
Oh, it's Devon, actually.
274
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,080
Integrity, Maggie.
275
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,240
Integrity...
276
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,600
is crucial for
any writer worth their salt.
277
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,600
Any person.
278
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,240
And it's not worth giving up
at the drop of a rainstick.
279
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,120
You know, you were lucky enough
to inherit
280
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,360
a reasonably sharp mind,
thanks to me,
281
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:45,000
and you constantly
disappoint me by wasting it.
282
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,920
Excuse me for a minute.
283
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,280
LINE RINGS
284
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,720
WHITNEY ON PHONE: We're ready!
I'm sorry, Whitney,
285
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,240
could I... Could you
just, um, put Eddie on?
286
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,560
EDDIE: Hey. What's up?
We're just in the back.
287
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,240
No, I know. Um, can you just, um...
288
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,200
Could you just
come to the bathroom, maybe?
289
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,400
Just come here.
290
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,960
Look, I just wanna talk to YOU.
291
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:29,440
Maggie, I'm not the expert
here. Whitney is.
292
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,680
Just come and chat to her.
293
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,920
But I just want...
CALL DISCONNECTS
294
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,520
Look, I was, um...
295
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,880
..too harsh.
296
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,280
I was just, uh, concerned.
297
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,600
I'm sorry.
298
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,520
Did you just apologise?
299
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,320
I might need a minute.
300
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,440
You were mean.
301
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,360
But you were right.
302
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,360
Look, I understand that you feel
303
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,520
that I haven't
been the perfect fath...
304
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,480
I was, um...
305
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,920
I was incredibly busy
during your childhood.
306
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:01,560
You know, I was writing
and starring in my own show.
307
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,880
I put everything I had
into the making of Man Ager,
308
00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:08,840
everything, and of course,
there were epic highs.
309
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,080
Oh, my God, there were epic highs.
310
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,440
But the lows.
The lows were terrible.
311
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:16,520
I wonder what might have caused that.
312
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,160
But we weren't like
your generation, you see.
313
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,560
You lot are more into...I don't
know, self-flagellation...
314
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,200
..begging therapists
315
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,760
for the secular equivalent
of ten Hail Marys.
316
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,960
You know,
when things were hard, for us,
317
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,240
we huddled together
in someone's office,
318
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,160
rang the local pub for delivery,
319
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,040
and then we shook the cobwebs off.
320
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,920
And as a result of that,
321
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,960
I wasn't at home as much as
I should have been.
322
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,960
There are so many things I regret
323
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,800
when it comes to you
and your mother.
324
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,280
But I just, um...
325
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,040
I just want us to have
a better relationship.
326
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:10,520
But - and I really, really
want you to understand this...
327
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,560
..I cannot attend
328
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,160
a rainstick healing ceremony,
329
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,960
especially as you yourself
know it to be complete horse shit.
330
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,760
We're ready! Ohh.
331
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,080
Um, we... Um...
332
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,680
We aren't... We aren't coming.
333
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,280
Why not? Because...
334
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,080
This will really help Whitney
gain more followers,
335
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,480
and we're fundraising for...
336
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,080
What do you mean, followers?
337
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,640
Instagram followers.
338
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,000
You were going to film this
and put it on Instagram?
339
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,880
Yeah, yeah. Whitney thought,
because your dad was on TV,
340
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,640
it will help drive traffic
to her page.
341
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,600
Oh. But the point is, Maggie,
this will really help you.
342
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,120
Whitney really knows what...
343
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,680
Oh, Whitney knows fuck-all!
344
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,240
MAGGIE LAUGHS
What?Oh, nothing.
345
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:57,720
Sorry.
346
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,840
Oh... No. No, Whitney's...
347
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,200
Oh, no, I don't have it in me.
Whitney is an idiot.
348
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,360
And you have become
the most selfish fucking hippie
349
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,840
I have ever met.
350
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,080
What? Sorry.
351
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,680
Oh, I'm sorry.
352
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,760
I'm sorry. It's all... It's bollocks.
353
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,400
I know that healing can feel
uncomfortable.
354
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:22,000
Oh, what the fuck do you know
about healing, Eddie?
355
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,640
Do you even know what the word means?
356
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,760
Because it doesn't mean going
AWOL with a fake guru
357
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,280
who clearly just stole
your money to get Turkey teeth.
358
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,480
WHITNEY GASPS
359
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:32,720
What are you talking about?
360
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:36,360
Oh, I'm sorry, There's no way
the Eddie I know
361
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:37,960
believes any of this shit.
362
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,040
You have a sharper mind than that.
363
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,360
It's just... It's disappointing,
honestly.
364
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,960
Maggie, maybe we should take
a meditation break.
365
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,640
I mean, your forehead veins
are telling me
366
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,840
your chakras
are completely off balance.
367
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,360
New rule. You're only allowed
to speak if you're vaccinated.
368
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,480
I can't have loud,
emotional arguments in here.
369
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:54,520
This is a restaurant.
370
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:55,840
That's fine. We were just leaving.
371
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,040
No, Eddie. Come on. Eddie...
No, you've said enough.
372
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,600
I should have listened to Whitney
and done this weeks ago.
373
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,360
But, Maggie,
374
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,680
we're done.
375
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,800
I don't want you
in my life any more.
376
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,400
Good for you. Good for you.
377
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,200
Sit down, darling.
378
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,960
I'm really proud of you.
379
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:31,960
You told her the truth.
380
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,760
And the truth, as they say,
will set you free.
381
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,840
Hey, let me top you up.
382
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,320
ICE BUCKET RATTLES
383
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,000
Could we, uh, have the bill,
please?
384
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,440
Thank you.
385
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,400
Could I trouble you
for our coats, please?
386
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,880
Yes.
387
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,120
Come on.Is she OK?
HE LAUGHS
388
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,880
What, her? Fine. Yeah, fine.
389
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,960
Nothing that a little fresh air
won't fix.
390
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,880
We're off to an award ceremony
up the road.
391
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,520
HE CHUCKLES
392
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,440
Hope it doesn't drag on too long.
393
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,560
You know what they're like!
394
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,200
A bit like a school assembly
that you can't escape from.
395
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,120
Mark. Mark Anderson.
That's me, yep.
396
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,160
Any advance on the coats, love,
please?
397
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,480
You don't remember me?
398
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:35,840
Hmm.
399
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:37,680
No, you were probably too little.
400
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,800
You were only nine, I think.
Tiny wee thing.
401
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,960
I babysat for you back in Galway.
402
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,400
Oh.
403
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,560
I didn't think I'd see you again.
404
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,400
And I sat down for a lunch
and, bam, in you walked.
405
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,640
I was only 20-odd.
406
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,360
God, so young, and I feel awful.
407
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,920
Come on, Mairead.
408
00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:00,200
And I felt so bad
because your mam was so lovely.
409
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:02,720
God...
410
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,760
I didn't know what I was doing.
411
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,840
You know,
412
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,240
I refused to talk
to that journalist woman.
413
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,840
She called me a few months ago
414
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,240
and I said
I wouldn't talk about you,
415
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,320
even though she said
the other women had.
416
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,120
Just so you know.
417
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,920
Right, come on, then.
What's she talking about?
418
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,040
Oh, her? I don't know. God knows.
419
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,560
Pfft! I don't think she's right
in the head.
420
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:40,920
What was she talking about?
421
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,120
Oh, they try and do this
to every semi-famous man
422
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,800
of a certain age nowadays.
423
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,320
Some hack has written
a supposed expose
424
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:54,280
on my romantic relationships
in the '90s.
425
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,880
Affairs? All consensual, all adults.
426
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:58,720
But because some of these women
427
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,760
that worked with me at the time...
428
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,800
For you.
..now they're trying to claim
429
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:04,640
there's some kind of abuse
involved.
430
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,680
I mean, come on, it's crap.
It's nonsense.
431
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,200
But what can you do?
432
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,960
You know what I mean? Sells papers.
433
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,920
And that's why you want me
to come with you tonight, right?
434
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,800
No, of course not.
435
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,160
You're about to get cancelled,
436
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,800
so you want to use me to show
that you're actually
437
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,760
a loving family man
who wouldn't hurt a fly.
438
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,640
All right, just calm down.
439
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,520
I won't do that for you.
440
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,840
You know, a not-very-wise man
once said to me,
441
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,240
"The truth will set you free",
442
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:31,880
but I think what he actually
meant is,
443
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:35,000
"It's more fun to be brutally honest,
but only when it suits you."
444
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:37,600
Which is not as catchy.
445
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:44,160
I have spent so many years
trying to figure you out.
446
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,840
But if so much
of what you say is a lie,
447
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,400
then what's the point in even trying?
448
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,240
I have this unshakeable hope in us
that made me come here today.
449
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,960
And it made me drink.
And I don't drink any more.
450
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,200
But I can't say that to you,
451
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:57,760
because it's too close
to the bone, isn't it?
452
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,600
How many did you have
before I got here today?
453
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,240
Four or five?
454
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,400
I've have guessed four,
but I'm a little rusty.
455
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:12,840
I'm not like you.
456
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:17,320
I'm medicated.
457
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,680
HE INHALES
458
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,840
I stole 50 quid from his wallet.
459
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,760
Do you want a hot chocolate?
460
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,120
Yeah.
461
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,600
PHONE VIBRATES
462
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,720
I'm going to save her.
463
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,480
WILL ON PHONE: Oh, sorry. I just...
464
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,000
I know I need to fight for her.
465
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,880
I know she deserves it. OK?
466
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,360
OK. I'll send a Zoom link.
We can get planning.
467
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,600
Stop sending me fucking Zoom links.
468
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,360
I am the captain now. No more Zoom.
469
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,120
Got it captain. Google me...
470
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,120
Just meet me in my flat in an hour
471
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,640
and bring all the nerdy
stationery I know you have.
472
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,080
We're going big. Yes. I'll stop...
473
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,600
You're nicer than I thought you were.
474
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:09,440
My dad died jet-skiing
with his mistress in Jamaica
475
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,320
when my mum was pregnant with me.
476
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:12,680
MAGGIE EXHALES
477
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,880
There used to be a lot more
jet ski accidents.
478
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:33,600
# Poetry has no place
for a heart that's a whore
479
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,760
# And I'm young and I'm strong
but I feel old and tired
480
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,360
# Overfired
481
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,720
# And I've been poked and stoked
482
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,920
# It's all smoke,
there's no more fire
483
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,080
# Only desire... #
484
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,920
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