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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,800
Oh, come on, it's not a big deal.
Half of my class have got one.
2
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,240
You're not getting a fake ID,
Georgie. You're not old enough.
3
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:07,320
Yeah, that's the point.
4
00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:08,920
It's not about drinking
or going out or anything...
5
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,000
Oh, no, I'm sure you're just
desperate to do jury service.
6
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,640
It's just some gigs and festivals
7
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:15,720
and venues that...
It's a no, Georgie.
8
00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,120
Sweetheart, just be thankful
you inherited a youthful appearance
9
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,080
from my side of the family.
10
00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:23,400
Both your dad's sisters
11
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,160
have foreheads you could
strike a match on.
12
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:28,760
AMANDA SIGHS
13
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,480
That should be our house.
14
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,600
Life is so unfair.
15
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,160
Is that a lot of money for a house?
16
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,440
It is around here, Manus.
17
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,120
Why's the writing so small?
18
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,320
It's not. Are your eyes OK?
19
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,880
Yes, thank you.
20
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,400
It's their font that's the issue.
21
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,320
My eyesight is actually perfect.
22
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,520
Ugh, come on,
we're going to be late.
23
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,160
Oi! What are you doing
with my daughter?!
24
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:55,360
Oh! I'm so sorry, so sorry!
25
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:56,840
Mum! I didn't... So embarrassing.
26
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,200
Sorry!
Second-hand embarrassment, Mum!
27
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,000
You just walked away!
You're so embarrassing, Mum.
28
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,520
How do you not know
your own daughter?
29
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,520
Oh, my God!
30
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,680
BLOWS WHISTLE
31
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,320
Come on, boys. Half-time.
32
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:09,800
Let's get a drink.
33
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:11,360
Sorry, Amanda, what was it again?
34
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,720
Flat white, whole milk.
35
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,080
Great. Honestly,
head like a sieve.
36
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,440
Flat white hole,
flat white hole, flat white hole...
37
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,880
Don't get too settled,
we're going to grab a team photo
38
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:20,920
if we get a minute.
39
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,120
LAUGHS: What?
Someone needs some glasses there!
40
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,080
No, actually, Mal.
41
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,240
For your information,
I have a biological age of 33.
42
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:33,160
Really? Yeah. Not my words,
those of Marie Claire's website.
43
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,680
Oh, yeah! And my last eye test
showed 20-20 vision, so...
44
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:37,960
Yeah, but when was that?
45
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:40,280
Cos your eyes fall off a cliff
in your late forties, you know.
46
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,720
That's nonsense.
It's just a kind of...
47
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:43,840
..misty haze.
48
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,040
It's rather lovely.
49
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,160
It's like watching a 1950s film.
50
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,400
Great news!
I've just got another booking!
51
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,920
Hey! Oh, Fi!
52
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,920
This one's a spaniel called Daniel.
53
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:54,560
I already walk a Pug called Doug
54
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,800
and a bull mastiff whose
balls are massive,
55
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,080
which is almost the same thing,
56
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,360
so it's like a proper
business now, guys.
57
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,840
I mean, it's got a logo and a name.
58
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:06,000
I'm Utterly Barking.
59
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,480
Indeed you are.
60
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,240
I've even found meself a little van.
61
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:10,520
Nice! What kind?
62
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,760
Don't know. White one. Four wheels.
63
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,480
Don't know much about cars.
64
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,400
I saw it on Facebook and they
said I could see it today, so...
65
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,560
I could give it a look,
if you want. Really?
66
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,680
Oh, yeah, Mal loves
a bit of vansplaining.
67
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:26,840
Because he's always...
68
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:30,080
Yes. No, we got it. Yeah... Perfect.
69
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:31,720
SHE SIGHS
70
00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:34,120
Right, I've got a latte for Amanda.
71
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,400
No, Anne. Flat white whole.
72
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,400
Flat white whole!
73
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,400
And with that, a nickname was born.
74
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,840
Very sorry.
75
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,520
I'm all at sixes and sevens today.
76
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,400
It's fine, I'll drink it
to be sustainable.
77
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,840
Oh, talking of drinking, Georgie
was just asking about fake ID,
78
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,840
so something else
to keep an eye out on.
79
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,960
Great. Now I feel old.
80
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,360
Well, no, Fi, because
it shows they're young,
81
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,880
too young to drink,
82
00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:00,440
which means we're
parents of young children.
83
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:01,760
We're young parents.
84
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,680
Oh, right, so do we need ID?
85
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,480
Well, I don't see Darius having
a need for that any time soon.
86
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,000
He's still all about Roblox... Aww.
..and chocolate milk.
87
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,880
I mean, look at that little cherub.
88
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,080
Yeah, exactly.
89
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,560
Such a sweet, sweet little boy.
90
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:15,880
CAMERA CLICKS
There you go.
91
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,480
CHEERING
92
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,560
Let's go!
93
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:21,680
Can I give you a lift, darling?
94
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,360
Hate to think of you going by bus.
95
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,000
I don't go by bus. I walk.
96
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,880
Aww, poor thing.
97
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,000
A lift would lovely. Thank you.
98
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,120
Oh, erm...
99
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,400
Do you think you could
drop me at the opticians?
100
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,520
Hmm... Men don't make passes
at girls who wear glasses.
101
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:39,600
Mummy!
102
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,720
Hold on, I haven't
got my seat belt on!
103
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,640
Where'd I park the bloody thing?
104
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,160
So, Elspeth's house is
officially on the market.
105
00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,200
Dead cat lady?
106
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,760
Yes, I'm sure that's how she'd...
107
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,080
HORN HONKS
Jesus!
108
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,480
Mummy, that was so close!
109
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:05,800
No, plenty of room.
110
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:07,360
Erm...
111
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,880
Yeah, er, it's not exactly cheap,
but, actually,
112
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,400
given the floor space...
HORN HONKS
113
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,880
Car! Relax, I saw it.
114
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,120
Yeah...
115
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:18,560
So, yeah, I'm just, er...
116
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,320
..wondering if there's
a way for me to...
117
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:26,880
..secure the investment...
118
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,560
Are you angling for a loan?
119
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:29,600
No, not at all.
120
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,960
Mummy, nothing like that.
121
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,240
I wasn't planning to pay it back.
122
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,160
Well, that sounds really tempting!
I meant more...
123
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:37,800
Oh, my God!
124
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:39,920
Erm...
125
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,120
There's the possibility
of you gifting me
126
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,080
some of my inheritance
early, you know?
127
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,440
Erm...
128
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,200
Ahead of your, er...
129
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,320
Death? Well...
130
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,960
Oh, sorry, darling. All my money's
tied up in the house.
131
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,640
Oh. Looks like you're going
to have to wait for me to croak.
132
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,240
Christ!
133
00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,360
How have you made it this long?
134
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,480
Mummy, can you just pull over?
I'm going to walk from here.
135
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,080
Fine. Your funeral.
136
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,480
That's exactly what
I'm trying to avoid.
137
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,120
There you are.
138
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,720
Thanks, Mummy.
139
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,240
QUIETLY: Absolute maniac.
140
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,720
Jeez, this is wrecked.
141
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:15,920
Yeah, don't buy it.
142
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:17,400
I like it.
143
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,720
Are you serious?
144
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:21,840
Yeah. It reminds me of the one
that me dad used to drive.
145
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:24,720
His had a little rust
patch just like that.
146
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:28,000
Yeah, most buyers don't normally
go for those, as a rule.
147
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,120
Hmm. He used to take me out
on his rounds with him.
148
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,720
He was a delivery driver.
149
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,560
He used to let me
take off the handbrake,
150
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,200
put the hazards on
when he was making a drop.
151
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,440
Lot of happy memories in that van.
152
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,440
Listen, I get the nostalgia,
I really do,
153
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,360
but trust me, you do not,
under any circumstances,
154
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,480
want to buy a van in
this sort of condition.
155
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,360
60, 80, 1,
156
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,200
20, 40, 60, 80...
157
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,440
Right, all done.
158
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,480
So, the test shows
you're a +1 in both eyes.
159
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,560
Oh, that's great.
160
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,240
Such a relief. Thank you so much.
161
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,320
No, that means you need glasses.
162
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,600
But you said "plus".
163
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:07,400
"Plus" means good things
like A+ or Platinum+ or...
164
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,960
Well, everything.
165
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,600
Except plus size.
166
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,560
Actually, no, even that now.
167
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,240
It's just how we express
degrees of long-sightedness.
168
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,720
I'm long-sighted?
169
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:18,000
It's a perfectly normal result,
170
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,760
especially as you're
heading towards 50.
171
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,360
I'm not heading towards 50!
172
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,440
Oh! I had your date
of birth down as 197...
173
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:24,560
Yes, I know what I put.
174
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,040
I wouldn't call that
"heading towards 50."
175
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,360
That's like turning onto
the M4 at Chiswick and saying
176
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,120
you're heading towards...
177
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,800
Well, I'm not sure
where the M4 ends up,
178
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,760
but it's probably a very long way
away and not worth worrying about.
179
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:36,800
I think it's Swansea.
180
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,720
Exactly. There you are, then.
181
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:42,000
Maybe take the prescription
and just have a think.
182
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,040
OK.
183
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,640
Where are the glasses?
184
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:58,320
Mum, could you do us a favour?
185
00:06:58,320 --> 00:06:59,360
Oh, yes, of course.
186
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,360
I was just standing here
ironing while making a lasagne,
187
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:02,640
thinking, "What else could I do?"
188
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:03,720
Cool.
189
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,000
Could you get me an ID?
190
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,040
Oh, my God...
191
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,440
My little boy?
Where's my little boy gone?
192
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:12,600
What's the hurry to grow up?
193
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,720
What do you need
a fake ID for anyway?
194
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,080
Is it for drink?
195
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,440
Are you a drinker now?
196
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:18,720
Or is it drugs?
197
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:19,920
Are you hooked on drugs?! Mum!
198
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,320
I don't think a drug dealer
would ever ask me for my ID.
199
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,520
Anyway, I don't want a fake one.
200
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,560
One of them Government ones
to prove I'm still 16. Why?
201
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,760
I keep getting charged
full price at the water slides.
202
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,560
They say I look 18. That's all.
203
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,160
SHE SIGHS
204
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,360
That's such a relief.
205
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,400
You are, you're such a good boy.
I'm sorry.
206
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,240
God, you gave me
a right scare there.
207
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,480
Why would you do that?
Why would you worry me like that?
208
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,400
Are you trying to give me
a heart attack?! What the hell?!
209
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,000
Mum! Sorry, I'm so sorry.
210
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,920
I'm sorry. I'm just feeling
a little bit emotional today.
211
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:50,280
I... I didn't sleep
very well last night. Erm...
212
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:51,800
Yes, that's absolutely no problem.
213
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,520
I will send off
for the ID in the morning.
214
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:56,640
That's absolutely no problem.
OK. Thank you.
215
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,760
Mum, why are you
ironing the pasta?
216
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,760
Where did... Oh, no...
217
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,080
Oh, no...
218
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,600
Morning.
219
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:18,640
Hi. Ah...
220
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,440
Oh, they suit you.
221
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,640
Yes, you would say that.
They're ๏ฟฝ300.
222
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,240
Oh! OK, er...
223
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,280
Drrrr... Erm....
224
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:30,840
Yeah, OK, cool.
225
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,600
Try those. Similar style,
just without the flex hinges.
226
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,000
OK. ๏ฟฝ90.
227
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,080
OK. Yeah?
228
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,040
There you go. OK, thank you.
229
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:41,680
Oh, wow!
230
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:43,600
OK, maybe they all look good on you.
231
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,400
Yes, very good. I'm sure
you're the king of commission.
232
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,120
Oh, no, I'm not on commission.
233
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,280
OK, well...
234
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,600
OK, I will take those. Yeah?
Thank you.
235
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,280
Lens fitting takes about five days,
236
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,160
so they should be ready
by the end of the week.
237
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,040
Oh, OK. Well...
238
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,560
What do I do till then?
239
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,440
Oh, erm... Some ready readers
might tide you over.
240
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:11,520
Ah! Yeah, not the height of fashion,
but if anyone can pull them off...
241
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,480
Oh, er... Can I get your number?
242
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,640
Erm...
243
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,000
That's very... And we'll
call you when they're in.
244
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,240
Ri... Yes, of course.
Yeah? Yeah. OK.
245
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:29,280
Yeah. Erm, it's 07...
246
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,320
Yeah, it's just like me dad's van.
247
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,000
You're going to love it, Dells!
248
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,440
There's a steering wheel,
and a couple of these sun things,
249
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,920
and a few of these...
250
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,360
Yep, yeah, I've seen a van before.
251
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,680
Look, as long as Mal is happy, then
I'm happy. Well, actually, Dells,
252
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:46,120
I was... Oh, you're breaking up,
actually, Della!
253
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,080
Right, let's get
the pedal to the metal!
254
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,320
You mean rust.
255
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,840
ENGINE STARTS
Ooh, yeeees!
256
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,080
RADIO: ..Newcastle United over
the last few seasons...
257
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,080
Hmm... ..in the Premier League,
there have been...
258
00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,760
Tuner's screwed. Seems to be
stuck on some sports station.
259
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,960
Oh, I suppose I should name her.
260
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,880
Me dad's was called Samantha.
261
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,720
Maybe I'll call her Mandy,
after Amanda,
262
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,360
cos she's sort of, like,
looking down on everyone.
263
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,400
HE SNIGGERS
264
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,760
All right, well, there's a bit of
a knack to getting these in reverse.
265
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,160
You need to lift the collar, push...
266
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,200
Oh-ho-ho!
267
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,400
Are you sure you've
never driven one of these?
268
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,200
Yeah. Maybe it's in the genes.
269
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,120
All right, let's go.
270
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,240
HORNS HONK
271
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,120
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Fi, what's that?
272
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,360
Me?! He came out of nowhere!
273
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,000
I was indicating!
274
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,840
Yeah, I know,
but we're in a white van.
275
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:39,000
Us white van drivers have got a
bad enough rep as it is, all right?
276
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,640
Go easy on the horn, huh?
277
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,960
All right, Mal.
278
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,040
Mummy! Darling!
279
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,600
Fancy seeing you here.
280
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:57,640
Well, I live here.
281
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,760
And don't you look a picture.
282
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,800
In this? You look
lovely in that colour.
283
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:02,960
What is happening here?
284
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,800
What do you mean?
Why are you being...nice?
285
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,680
Can't a mother pay her
daughter a compliment?
286
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,920
Yes, but, historically...
Look, actually,
287
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,520
I was thinking about your idea
about that house down the road,
288
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,960
and I think you might
be onto something.
289
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,040
Mummy, are you serious?
290
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,240
Well, it wouldn't hurt
to take a little look around,
291
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:22,120
and so I've booked us a viewing at
4pm this afternoon, if you're free.
292
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,240
SHE GASPS
293
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,640
Yes! Amazing!
294
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,920
Oh, Mummy, what happened there?
295
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:29,680
Oh, just little light brush
against a "keep left" suggestion.
296
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:30,840
Do you mean "sign"?
297
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,400
No, the blue ones
are just suggestions.
298
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,440
Bye, darling.
299
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,080
So with GCSEs imminent,
300
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:45,080
we just want to take you
through a bit of exam prep,
301
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:48,160
which we like to call
the three Ps of revision -
302
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,920
plan, prepare and, erm...
303
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,240
I should've made some notes...
PHONE VIBRATES
304
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:57,400
Erm... So, let's make
a start with planning. Plan.
305
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,920
It's so, so important
306
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,600
they have a timetable.
307
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,880
Er... If they haven't had time
to put a timetable together,
308
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,280
and sometimes they will
claim they don't...
309
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:07,720
Oh, those are interesting.
310
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,520
Thank you, Mal. Where'd you get 'em?
New place on the high street or...
311
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:11,720
..1996?
312
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,320
They're temporary until
my designer frames are ready.
313
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,200
And the handsome
late-20s guy in the shop
314
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,200
seemed to like me
in glasses very much.
315
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,480
Ooh! Obviously, cos he'll
be on commission...
316
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,640
Not on commission, actually, Mal.
317
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,560
Just liked what he saw.
318
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:27,600
A lot.
319
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,000
Oh, my God!
320
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,480
AMANDA CHUCKLES
321
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,680
It's him!
322
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,920
Should he be texting me,
like, directly?
323
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,840
Absolutely not.
He's a serial killer.
324
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,120
What's he say? OK...
325
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,120
"Hi, Amanda.
326
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,160
"Finley from Optitrue here.
327
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:48,520
"Your glasses will be
ready to collect tomorrow.
328
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,640
"I look forward to
seeing you again."
329
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,760
Ohh... OK!
330
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,880
He, like, totally wants you...
331
00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,440
..to go and collect your glasses.
332
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,840
Yeah, cos if that's
his A-game, then he's no...
333
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,240
Oh, Jesus, what's his name?
334
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,560
Oh, God, your man.
335
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:07,720
Your man with all the women.
336
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:08,880
James Bond? Tiger Woods.
337
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,840
No, no, he's a lover.
338
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,200
Er... His name is the word
for someone who, erm...
339
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,720
SHE SIGHS
Honestly, I don't know what's wrong
340
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:17,560
with me at the moment.
341
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:20,680
My memory's terrible,
I can't concentrate on anything,
342
00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,800
I've not been sleeping great,
which doesn't help either,
343
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,600
and then my emotions are just all...
344
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,760
Oh, Anne, do you think
it's like, you know...
345
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,280
..menopause?
346
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,640
Don't be ridiculous, Abigail.
347
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,200
We're years from all that.
348
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,720
My sister's started at 42.
349
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,720
And I heard that, like,
one in ten women get it early.
350
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,400
No... Yeah. Can't be the menopause.
351
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,480
Like Amanda said...
352
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,640
One in ten, Anne.
353
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,160
WHISPERS: And, to be fair,
you've always aged quite quickly.
354
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,440
Yeah... It all fits,
now I think about it.
355
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,200
I mean, menopause definitely
affects recall, I heard...
356
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,760
..from my friend
Marcie Jane Cameron...
357
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,120
..in July, at the ballet, seat D4.
358
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:59,080
Yeah. No, my sister had it all -
brain fog, tears, memory, the works.
359
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,000
Oh, Anne... What did she do?
360
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,160
HRT. But it changed her life,
so it's worth looking into.
361
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,000
Yeah. Do you want
to write that down, Anne?
362
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,040
Yeah. Yeah, thank you.
363
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,080
Were there any questions?
364
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:11,960
Casanova! Oh, my God.
365
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,880
Sorry.
366
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:14,920
Yes.
367
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,840
DOGS BARK
Come on now, enough!
368
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,600
What happens in the park
stays at the park.
369
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,240
RADIO VOLUME INCREASES: It all boils
down to the coaching, and until you
370
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,560
know how to accept that, we ain't
never going to see any improvement.
371
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,520
Do you know what I mean? They're
getting paid a fortune! Fortune!
372
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,200
All right, mate.
I'm sick of it, Adam.
373
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,480
Calm down. Week in, week out, these
guys get paid million of pounds...
374
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,880
I mean, if anything,
the issue's in the boardroom.
375
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,360
Look, Fi, I hear what you're saying,
376
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,720
but I don't think we can actually
lay the woes of an entire season
377
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,080
at the manager's door.
378
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,520
Yeah, but he's taken the money!
379
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,720
I'm sorry, but if you're happy
to take the pay cheque
380
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:48,880
and the silverware,
381
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,800
you have got to hold your hands up
to some sort of negligence.
382
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,560
OK, we can't say he's negligent.
383
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,800
I can say what I like, Alan.
Free speech.
384
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,120
It's free speech!
385
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,840
Yeah, OK, thanks, Fi from Harlesden
there, with your free speech.
386
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:02,920
Anyway, keep your
football calls coming in.
387
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,960
Well, I'll, er,
give you a few moments.
388
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,560
Mm-mm.
389
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,680
Ooh, such a lovely place.
390
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,080
Yeah.
391
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,040
Bags of potential.
392
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,080
Bags.
393
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:21,000
Well, I think we should
have a catch-up tomorrow
394
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,880
and have a little chat about
what might be arranged.
395
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,440
THEY CHUCKLE
396
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:27,720
Mummy...
397
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,880
Oh, oh! Yes. Almost forgot. Yes.
398
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,840
There is a little thing
you could do for me.
399
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,240
Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah.
400
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,240
You might get
a letter from the police
401
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,800
about a marginal speeding offence.
402
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,480
If you could just tick
the little box that says that you
403
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:44,240
were behind the wheel, that would
be a real weight off my mind.
404
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,360
What?
405
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,400
I was just saying, you might
get a letter from the police...
406
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,040
Yes, I heard what you said.
407
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,720
It's the tiniest thing.
408
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:58,600
It's just that, you see,
my licence is pretty much full up...
409
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,840
Ah. ..points-wise, and you
haven't got any... Right.
410
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,680
..so if you could just
tick that little box,
411
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,880
I think that would be
easiest for everyone.
412
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:07,840
But you were driving.
413
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:09,400
Yes, but it's only
paperwork, really.
414
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,200
Well, no, it's me
lying to the police
415
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,840
and getting two points
on my licence.
416
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,760
I think you'll find
it's three, darling.
417
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,680
Or you could go on one of those
courses, as it's your first offence.
418
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,080
I haven't committed an offence.
419
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,400
That's the spirit!
420
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,560
I mean what is 10mph?
421
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,560
They say that 40 is the new 30...
422
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,000
..but I guess they just forgot
to tell the speed cameras.
423
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,560
Yes, right, Mummy, the cameras. Yep.
424
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,520
They will have a photo
of you at the wheel.
425
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:37,520
Oh, I don't think that'll be
a problem. Of course it will.
426
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,040
You are a woman in your 70s
and I am self-evidently not.
427
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:44,160
Just this week, I had a man in his
20s practically drooling over me,
428
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,200
for God's sake.
429
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,560
I don't think anyone's
going to believe I'm you.
430
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:49,880
Well...
431
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,680
..let's just sleep on it, shall we?
432
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,600
Seems we both have
a lot to think about.
433
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,600
FELICITY SIGHS
434
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,800
Such a lovely house...
435
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,920
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
436
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,080
Well, it's been mainly
the memory issues, yes,
437
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,520
but there has also been
some mood swings.
438
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,960
Just the other day,
I told one of the twins that,
439
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,440
"Mammy could really use
some space right now."
440
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,040
God, I don't know what came over me.
441
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,240
I know they're no longer toddlers,
442
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,920
but they shouldn't have to be
listening to language like that.
443
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,720
OK. Well, I do have some
results for you,
444
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,800
based on the urine test
and those initial bloods.
445
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:25,920
Right.
446
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,600
Yes, and, erm...
447
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:32,000
..is it a woman's issue?
448
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,800
In a way, yes.
449
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:34,920
Anne...
450
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:35,960
..you're pregnant.
451
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,840
Darling.
452
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:43,880
Mummy.
453
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:46,160
What's the score?
454
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:47,840
It's 3-0 to the Eagles.
455
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,640
Oh, dear.
456
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,840
No, we're the Eagles.
457
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,080
FELICITY GASPS
Oh, yes.
458
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,560
So, erm, have you had
the chance to think any more
459
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:57,960
about my little request?
460
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,440
Yes, Mummy. I got my letter.
461
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,600
Thank you.
462
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:05,560
And whilst I'm a firm believer
in helping out family members
463
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:06,960
however I can...
464
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,880
..I downloaded
the photo and, well...
465
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,800
So, yeah, I think that puts
that little debate to bed.
466
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,720
I'll say it does. Heh.
467
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,440
So you'll take the points?
468
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,680
What? Well, that could
easily be you.
469
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:26,800
That's a pensioner!
470
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:27,960
How dare you?!
471
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,840
What?! Mummy, it's a statement
of fact! Look! Excuse me.
472
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,720
Oh, Mal. OK, sorry,
do you have a moment?
473
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,680
Can you just tell me
what you see there?
474
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,360
Oh, no...
475
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,600
What are you going to do?
Take the points or do the course?
476
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:44,680
See?
477
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,120
I just did a course.
478
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:04,720
Anne! What happened?
479
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,920
Oh, well, I fell off a chair...
480
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,000
Oof. ..cos, oh, yes, also,
erm, a bit of news...
481
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,760
..er, turns out
I'm pregnant, so, yeah.
482
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,760
Er... Oh, my days!
483
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:20,000
Wow! Wonderful news, Anne!
Congratulations!
484
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,600
Yeah, that's amazing!
485
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,000
Oh, thank you.
Yes, a bit of a shock.
486
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,200
Well, we could all
be pregnant, Anne!
487
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,360
We're all young enough
to be pregnant.
488
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,360
Just cos some of us choose not
to be doesn't make us any older
489
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:30,080
than the people who are.
That's not how it works.
490
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:32,400
OK.
491
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,520
Congratulations, Anne.
I'm very pleased for you.
492
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:35,640
Thank you.
493
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:42,480
Stupid font's so small.
494
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:43,640
PHONE CHIMES
495
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:53,680
Oh, hey! Hi!
496
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,000
Hi. Picking up, right?
That's right, yes.
497
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,160
And what was the name?
498
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,280
It's... I'm joking.
499
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:02,600
Like I'd forget that face.
500
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:03,840
Take a seat, Amanda.
501
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,480
They're right here.
502
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,240
Just check the fit, if I may.
503
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,320
Mm.
504
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,360
Mm.
505
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,960
Yeah.
506
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,000
How does that feel?
507
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,800
Very nice. Thank you.
508
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,880
Great.
509
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,400
Yeah, just check if they're level.
Look at me.
510
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,000
OK, yeah.
511
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,320
All...
512
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,640
..all looking good?
513
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,480
Yeah, real good.
514
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:37,720
Er...
515
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:43,440
Look, this is hugely unprofessional,
but I was wondering...
516
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:44,680
Follow me.
517
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:48,800
Yeah, so those are for you, and any
problems, you know where to find me.
518
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,040
Right. Yeah?
519
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,080
Yes.
520
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,520
Yes, I do. Ah...
521
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,360
Amanda! Hey, there, Mumma!
522
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:09,440
Oh, look at you,
you're absolutely glowing.
523
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,440
I was, er...
I was just bleaching my moustache.
524
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:12,640
Aww.
525
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:16,640
I was just passing and I wanted
to drop by a little pregsent.
526
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,280
A pregnancy present. Oh.
527
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,320
Oh. It's for stretch marks.
528
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,080
I've never had to use it ever, but
it's supposed to be really great.
529
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,560
Er, thank you for this.
530
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,120
My cousin uses this,
actually, on her scars.
531
00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:32,800
She reversed a pedalo into a
bloom of jellyfish a few years...
532
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,680
I just got propositioned...
533
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:35,840
..by the guy at the opticians.
534
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,520
By the guy in his 20s? Yes.
535
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,880
Are you sure you didn't get hold of
the wrong end of the stick there?
536
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,080
Yes, Anne!
537
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,840
AMANDA SCOFFS
Quite sure.
538
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,840
The only
stick-getting-hold-of was...
539
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:50,720
..him wanting me
to get hold of the...
540
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,320
..right end of his s...
541
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,840
No, Anne.
542
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,080
No, don't do that.
543
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,400
Do your normal face.
544
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,440
Why? What did I...? What did I...?
Anne, no!
545
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,360
You don't have the monopoly on being
young and fertile, you know.
546
00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:06,440
Don't look at me like
I'm some dried-up husk.
547
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:07,840
Come on. Come on, I'll prove it.
548
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,400
I'm just in the middle of...
No, you're not. Come on.
549
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:10,520
Grab your coat. OK.
550
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:11,840
Come on, before they close.
551
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,040
I'll be back in a minute!
552
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,640
Anne, wipe it off, it's gross. Mm.
553
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:19,280
Right, come on.
554
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,240
Ugh!
555
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,800
Did somebody call the RA-Fi?
556
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,280
It's like RAC, but...me.
557
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:31,520
Yeah, I forgot to top up
the bleeding coolant, didn't I?
558
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,200
Hop in. I'll take you
to Halfords, mate.
559
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,440
Ah, nice one, Fi.
560
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,280
Whoa... Oh, sorry.
561
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,240
Ooh, got a live one there.
Do you want half?
562
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,080
No, thank you. All right.
563
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,280
Can I turn that down?
564
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,880
Oi, oi! Lucky saddle!
565
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,080
What the f...
566
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,160
What?
567
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:53,280
You can't say that!
568
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,280
But that's what you say
when you see a lady on a bike.
569
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:59,400
You shout "lucky saddle"
for good luck.
570
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:00,920
It's like seeing a yellow car.
571
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,760
My dad used to say it all the time.
572
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,200
No, no, no. OK, turn that off.
573
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:06,240
What?
574
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:07,600
ENGINE AND RADIO STOP
575
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,960
That's...not why your dad
was saying "lucky saddle".
576
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,640
He was implying that the saddle
was lucky because of where it was.
577
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,600
On a bike? No, where on the rider.
578
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:18,680
SHE GASPS
579
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,360
Oh, my God.
580
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:22,240
He was a white van man.
581
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,560
Well, I mean...
How did I fucking miss that?
582
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,360
Well, you were a kid and, you know,
it was a different time.
583
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:30,560
In the '90s, even the greatest
dads could be a bit...
584
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:31,720
..stuck in the '80s.
585
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:35,080
I mean, I'm a white van man and...
we're not just like that any more.
586
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,440
Well, I bloody am! Look at me!
587
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,200
Yeah, I mean, you could
tidy up a little bit
588
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:44,160
and think a bit more about
how you behave on the road.
589
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,760
Maybe it's just in my DNA, though.
590
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,920
All them childhood memories.
591
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,160
Stick me in a white van
and this is just what I become.
592
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,680
Hmm.
593
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,040
Do you want me to drive?
594
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:55,360
Yeah.
595
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,160
ENGINE STARTS
596
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,160
HORN HONKS
597
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,680
Oi! I was indicating, you wanker!
598
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:17,080
Maybe it's the van.
599
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:23,680
I don't know why we have to do this
600
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,680
because the shop's going
to be closed soon anyway.
601
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,120
It's barely 5:30.
602
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:29,200
Now, listen, you're going to go
in there and browse the glasses.
603
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:30,400
I actually have 20-20 vision.
604
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:31,440
Don't show off, Anne.
605
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,360
I will then enter, approach Finley,
and you will bear witness
606
00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:38,000
to a very handsome young man
100% hitting on me.
607
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,320
OK, damn, he's leaving. That's him.
608
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:41,360
Oh!
609
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,360
He IS a very handsome young man,
yes. Yes, I did tell you that.
610
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:46,480
Awful young, though.
611
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,480
Well, I don't see it Anne, but then
maybe I'm not prejudiced like you.
612
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,360
Oh, come on.
613
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:53,480
He's being picked up by his mum.
614
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:54,840
Well, we all see our mums, Anne.
615
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,320
There's not an age when you
suddenly stop seeing your mum.
616
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,680
Oh... Actually, I, erm...
617
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,440
..don't think that's
his mum, Amanda.
618
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,680
What...?
619
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,280
Do you think maybe he has,
erm...a slight...
620
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,760
..kink for the older lady?
621
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:13,960
Anne, listen to me.
622
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,440
If you want me to be godmother
to your unborn child,
623
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:17,520
which you do... Mm-hm.
624
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,440
..this...never happened, OK?
625
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:21,480
Mm-hm.
626
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,120
Anne, move it, now.
627
00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:32,280
Anne, I just said I didn't
want to talk about it. Yeah.
628
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:36,400
What the hell...?
629
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,480
Busted. I said we should sit inside.
630
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,320
What do you think you're doing?!
631
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:41,960
It's one gin and tonic.
632
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,760
And they're only singles,
so it's not that bad.
633
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,240
Did your mum get you a fake ID?
634
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,560
No, she went all Amanda about it.
635
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,560
Well, what... What is
that supposed to mean?
636
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:49,800
How'd you get served?
637
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,520
Drinks, ladies!
638
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:54,280
Oh, shit.
639
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:55,800
Darius!
640
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,080
You little fecker!
641
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:58,600
Well done, guys.
642
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,440
Way to upset the pregnant woman.
643
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,120
What?!
MEN CHEER
644
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,280
Oh...
645
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:05,640
Had you not...? No, not yet.
646
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:06,680
Right.
647
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:11,880
Big brother!
648
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,560
FELICITY GASPS
Darling! I was just... No.
649
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,480
It's a no to taking your points.
650
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,080
And I realise it's going to cost me
any help with buying the house,
651
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:27,120
but the fact is...
652
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,200
..neither of us are
getting any younger.
653
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,160
Eyes fail, reflexes go and, frankly,
654
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,520
your driving's bloody awful.
655
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,360
I worry you're going
to kill someone.
656
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,800
Probably yourself.
657
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,560
And...
658
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:47,960
..as it turns out, I would rather
have you alive than a big house,
659
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,400
so it's a no.
660
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:51,760
No, Mummy.
661
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,760
Amanda... Mummy, I have said my
piece, I have thought about it, I...
662
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:56,160
Amanda, thank you...
663
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,080
..for not wanting me dead.
664
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,840
Not many mothers could say that.
665
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,000
Mu...
666
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,200
I lightly brushed into
a one-way suggestion today...
667
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,440
Sign, yeah.
668
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,800
..so I think the time
has come for me to admit
669
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,040
that my driving days
are behind me...
670
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,760
Mummy... ..so I've taken the points,
they've taken my licence.
671
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:17,800
And...
672
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:18,840
OK.
673
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:21,480
What's this?
674
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,160
Valuation on this place.
675
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:28,960
I'm selling it to free up the money,
so I can put an offer in on...
676
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:30,160
Dead cat lady.
677
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:31,360
Elspeth's. ..Elspeth's!
678
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:34,240
Mummy... I don't know what to say!
679
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:35,360
But where will you live?
680
00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:37,200
Well, with you!
681
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,840
In our new house!
682
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,360
Oh! Oh, darling!
683
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:42,400
FELICITY CHUCKLES
684
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,640
AMANDA GASPS AND CHUCKLES
685
00:27:45,690 --> 00:27:50,240
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