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1
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,360
SHE LAUGHS
2
00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:08,320
Is that a sourdough loaf?
3
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,120
GASPS
Oh, my God,
4
00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:11,920
it's finally happening!
5
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:14,600
Wow!
6
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,360
Look at this. Hey. How's it going?
7
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,960
It's so Nordic.
8
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,880
I love all the pine.
9
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:23,840
Mm. This smells exactly
how I imagine Finland feels.
10
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,680
Are you the same
Vantablack as the one in Chiswick?
11
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,280
Yep. That's us. Fantastic.
12
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:28,800
We were on the same street.
13
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,280
You might remember Hygge Tygge.
14
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:32,480
Oh, yeah, is that the gift shop?
15
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,080
It was a lifestyle concept shop.
Store.
16
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,880
But, er, yeah, I guess it was
my gift to Chiswick High Road.
17
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,720
God, it's so great to have
a kindred spirit in the locale.
18
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,600
You know, I would be happy
19
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,920
to give Vantablack a pump
on the socials if you like?
20
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,760
I, um, run this little thang
called Senuous?
21
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,880
Cool. Love a local blog, yeah.
22
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,040
It's not a local blog.
23
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:53,600
Do you want a coffee? Oh!
24
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,680
Gratis, as a thank you.
25
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,320
I'm supposed to be fasting
till 11:00, but, um...
26
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,880
..rules are made to be broken.
27
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:01,960
Thank you!
28
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,640
Also, can I just say?
Big up to a fellow girl-boss.
29
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:07,720
Yeah. Who runs the world, right?
30
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,960
Jeff Bezos? I was going to say
girls.
31
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,160
Yeah...!
32
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,200
Of course.
33
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,720
No, I love a bit of J-Lo.
34
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,040
There you go.
35
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,160
Oh, wow!
36
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,520
Is that a vulva?
It's a coffee bean.
37
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:20,880
It's a coffee bean. I love it.
38
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,160
Yeah!
39
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:28,920
I should've got a straw...
40
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,560
Aww, hello. Who's this?
41
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,000
Aww, this is Bobby,
42
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,480
my new fur baby. Bobby!
43
00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:40,920
I was feeling a bit lonely
so I went out and got meself a wolf.
44
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,920
I mean, I would've started
with a Jack Russell
45
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:44,880
or something a bit smaller,
like a hamster.
46
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,680
Well, guys...
47
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,480
She came. She saw.
48
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:49,840
She gentrified.
49
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:53,120
SoHa just got its first
decent coffee shop.
50
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,280
What about Ron's Coffee Counter?
51
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,440
He thought a cortado
was a make of car, Fi.
52
00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:01,400
No. Vantablack Coffee
is a real boon for SoHa.
53
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,600
I'm just amazed it's
happened so quickly.
54
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,480
As I always said, "If the Amanda
can't go to the coffee,
55
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,480
"the coffee must come
to the Amanda."
56
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,440
So modest. Yeah.
It's quite funny though, yeah?!
57
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:13,760
Bobby, no! No, Bobby!
58
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,000
Oh! Sorry, sorry!
59
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,200
You've got a fan there, Amanda.
60
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,520
Who's this? Oh, this is Bobby!
61
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:20,000
Ahh! In't he the cutest?
62
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,160
Ahh, he's lovely!
63
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,120
He slept next to me
all night last night.
64
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,160
Farting away.
65
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,880
Made me realise how much
I miss Della.
66
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,560
Aww. Oh!
67
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,120
Ah! Oh... Oh.
68
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:30,760
Actually, no, thank you, Bobby.
69
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,320
C'mon, Bobby - where's your ball?
Bobby! Where's your ball?
70
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,280
Er, I think
he's found his balls, Fi.
71
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,960
No... That's horrid.
72
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,440
Mate! Oi!
73
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:39,960
What you doing?! Mate!
74
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,760
You can't just drive on here!
75
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,440
What are you doing?
Are you serious? What?! Oh, my God.
76
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:45,800
Who does that?
77
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,240
Mummy. All right, Felicity!
78
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,360
What are you doing here?
79
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,320
Can't a doting grandmother come to
cheer on her little bear?
80
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,000
Go, Georgie!
81
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,600
Right. Anyone for brunch?
82
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,840
No can do, I'm afraid, Mummy.
83
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,040
I'm doing a bit of pro-bono
for Vantablack.
84
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,480
Promised I'd pop in later
and do some shots for the 'gram.
85
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,080
You can come with if you like,
Mummy, but I will be working.
86
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,560
That's very noble of you, Mands,
helping out a local business.
87
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:11,640
Well, I just think Harlesden
is crying out for a community hub.
88
00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:14,840
I tell you what it's not crying out
for is a ๏ฟฝ5 bloody croissant.
89
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,800
"Quoi-sannn" -
and you're paying for the quality.
90
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,160
If you want a bog-standard pastry,
there's always Greggs.
91
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,080
Babe, if you come for Greggs,
you come for me.
92
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,880
I am not coming for Greggs.
93
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,280
OK, well, I'm just saying you
don't have to remortgage your flat
94
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,600
for a coffee, so...
95
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,040
Please don't make this
a class war, Abigail.
96
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,160
There's a place in SoHa
for everyone.
97
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,680
I'll go to Vantablacks,
you can go to Greggs.
98
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:36,720
OK.
99
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,720
Who is this man Gregg and why is
everyone still talking about him?
100
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,080
Anyway - Fi, Mal, brunch?
101
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,600
I'd love to, I've got to go
and look at some sheds. Ugh!
102
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,120
Tell me you're middle-aged without
telling me you're middle-aged.
103
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,480
No - Ned's outgrown his bunk
104
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,560
and the double bed's taken up
his entire room,
105
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,880
so I thought we'd build the shed
together over half term,
106
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,200
to give him some more space.
107
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,720
And where exactly is
this shed going to go?
108
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,000
The end of my garden.
109
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,120
My garden.
110
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,880
No, I'm pretty sure it's my garden.
111
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,040
That's why they call it
a garden flat.
112
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,760
No, they call it a garden flat
113
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,280
because people are too polite
to say you live in my cellar.
114
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,560
Um, I'm trying to get rid
of an old summer house.
115
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,360
You can have it for nothing if you
can be bothered to take it apart.
116
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:13,680
Ohh! Oh, happy days, yeah.
117
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:14,840
Absolutely. Cheers.
118
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,520
Well, let's make a plan
after coffee.
119
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,800
Nobody leave without me.
120
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,920
Sounds great.
121
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,080
I'll give you a hand, if you like.
122
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:21,800
Since when have you been into DIY?
123
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:25,480
Oh, well, it'd be nice to have some
father-son-stepfather bonding time.
124
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,480
And, y'know, I can learn
from the master.
125
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:28,640
HE CHUCKLES
126
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,360
There's a bottle cap over there.
Oh, leave off.
127
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,520
Bottle cap. Yeah - and that.
So unfair.
128
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,600
Yeah, well, if you can't
do the time, don't do the crime.
129
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:35,880
What's going on?
130
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:37,400
I suppose you've all
heard about Anus-gate?
131
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,400
What? I got a phone call
from the school...
132
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,200
Yes? ..to say that they caught
Darius sending pictures
133
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,400
of his bumhole on Snapchat.
134
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:46,760
Oh!
GASPS
135
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:47,800
Gross.
136
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,520
It's only a photo
of my clenched fist!
137
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,080
Yes! Which looks remarkably
like your chocolate starfish.
138
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,440
You know, this could very easily
have gone viral.
139
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,720
So, I've taken things
into my own hands.
140
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:57,920
Have a look,
141
00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,280
and feel free to share
the results with your teens.
142
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:04,000
"Please repost to show my eejit son
how fast things spread online."
143
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,160
Please don't tell me
you've posted that.
144
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,440
Yes, I have -
I posted it this morning,
145
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,360
and I've already gotten 140 shares.
146
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:10,560
That's even more embarrassing
147
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,280
than posting a picture
of my actual bumhole.
148
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:13,400
Yeah, well.
149
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,640
Maybe you'll think twice now
about sending another picture.
150
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,240
JJ: Oh, yeah!
151
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,520
Yeah, it does look like an anus!
LAUGHTER
152
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,800
AMANDA: Oh, gosh.
Anne, I'm so sorry.
153
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,160
Get that lid.
154
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,080
What have you seen?
155
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,320
Nothing, Mummy.
I'm posing for the camera.
156
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:35,920
CAMERA SHUTTER
Did you get it?
157
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,000
Yep. OK, right.
158
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,080
I'm going to do one with this
159
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,840
and swap seats for
a different background.
160
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,680
Keep the camera up, Manus.
161
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:48,560
So you post a picture of yourself
eating cakes,
162
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,000
and that's a job?
163
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,760
No, I'm going to edit it
together into a montage,
164
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,800
under the hashtag
"Let SoHa eat cake".
165
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,640
Vive la revolution.
166
00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,960
Can I have some of these
if you're not going to eat them?
167
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,520
No, Manus.
We're going to the dentist at two.
168
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,800
Actually we need to bust a move.
169
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,360
Oh, so soon? Shall I come with?
170
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,480
Mummy, we're going to the dentist!
Just stay and enjoy your coffee.
171
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:11,440
OK, so we have a latte for Felicity,
172
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,720
and a turmeric and ginger
power shot to go. Thank you!
173
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,160
Mmm.
174
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,200
Hoh!
175
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,200
HUSKILY: Ellie, babe - these
cakes are going to look amazing
176
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:20,320
on the socials.
177
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:24,440
I'll pop in later to give you
a sneaky peak before it goes viral.
178
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:25,480
WHISPERING: Amanda!
179
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:28,520
It's a coffee bean, Mummy.
180
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:29,640
Just give it a stir.
181
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,000
Right, Manus, let's ride!
182
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,160
Do you do wine?
183
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,560
March 2022.
184
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:42,680
Bin it.
185
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,800
Ugh.
It's bad enough that I'm grounded -
186
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,360
now you're making me do this?
187
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,760
I'm sorry but you're getting
no sympathy from me, Darius.
188
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,040
If you hadn't... Ah, Jesus!
189
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,640
A mouse has gotten into me pankos.
190
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,640
I only showed the picture
to a couple of mates,
191
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,080
and it weren't even my real bumhole.
192
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,920
Yeah, well, you're going to have to
learn the hard way, aren't ya?
193
00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:01,520
Pfft. Speaking of which - it's time
we saw how our pot plant was going.
194
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,040
Bloody hell!
195
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,200
Oi, oi, oi!
196
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,840
All right. Watch your language. OK.
197
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,280
Shit the fucking bed.
198
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,240
That's been retweeted 40,000 times.
199
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,800
And there's 296 comments.
200
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,760
"How do you get your peace lily
looking so healthy?"
201
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:21,000
"Do you water it every day?"
202
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,960
God!
203
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,240
I've never been so popular.
204
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,080
I'm going to have to reply to these.
205
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,080
Keep going with the cleaning,
Darius!
206
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,560
You're still on probation.
207
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,880
Right. Let's get the other door off.
208
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,480
So, we go lefty-loosey,
righty-tighty.
209
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:38,840
Oh, that's good. Yeah.
210
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,200
Wait, did you come up with that?
211
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,000
No. My grandad taught it to my dad,
and he taught it to me.
212
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,040
Now I'm teaching it to Ned. Oh!
213
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,200
Right, so if you want to start
on the left side,
214
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,080
me and Ned'll do the right.
215
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,440
Give us a shout if you need a hand.
216
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,800
I'd have killed for a shed
like this when I was a teenager.
217
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,760
Somewhere to chill, some Magic FM,
218
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,520
set up the Warhammer...
219
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,240
Hm! How were we married
to the same woman?
220
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,760
What is that?
221
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,120
Oh, this? It is an impact driver.
222
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:06,520
I didn't know you were into DIY.
223
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,640
Oh, I'm not, really,
224
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:11,520
but it was on sale and I can't
resist a "Which?" Best Buy.
225
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,080
Do you want a go? Oh, no,
I'm good with the screwdriver.
226
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,040
I got this kit when my grandad died.
227
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,520
Right, you watching this, Ned?
228
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,360
You just line this up
straight with...
229
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:20,680
WHIRRING
Can't we just use JJ's drill thingy?
230
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:21,760
It looks way quicker.
231
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,200
Can't you just concentrate?
232
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,280
What?
233
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,560
Left side done. See?
234
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:27,760
Wow.
235
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,720
Want me to start
on the inside whilst I wait?
236
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,440
FELICITY: Oh, boys!
237
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,080
I brought you some
home-made lemonade.
238
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,160
Nice.
239
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,400
Rather fancy!
240
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,600
Thanks. Oh, it's just a little
something I rustled up.
241
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,000
This is Sprite.
242
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,400
Mmm.
243
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,560
Um, are you sure you want to
get rid of this?
244
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:44,800
It's in really good nick.
245
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,040
Oh, no, take it.
246
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,560
I just used it for the occasional
soiree in the garden
247
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,800
during lockdown.
248
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,720
But most of my friends
have sadly left us.
249
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,280
Oh, no, that's awful. I'm sorry.
250
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,640
No, they didn't die.
251
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,320
They just moved to the
Cayman Islands when Labour got in.
252
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,800
Oh.
WHIRRING
253
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,560
Um, don't feel like you have to
wait out here in the cold with us.
254
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,080
No, it's fine.
255
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,080
I love watching men at work.
256
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,800
Heads!
257
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,360
Oh! Whoa!
258
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,760
That's the front done.
259
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,200
What next?
260
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,680
WHIRRING
261
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,440
Ellie, babe.
We're out of Aesop in the loo.
262
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,480
Oh, cheers.
Did you want another coffee?
263
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:28,720
Yes, please.
264
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,240
Although I am very
tempted by your matcha.
265
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,280
Matcha comin' atcha.
266
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,440
Oh, that's good.
267
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,640
You've got to put that
on the chalk board, Ellie.
268
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,160
PHONE VIBRATES
269
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,920
Oh, God, give me a break.
270
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,200
That your boss?
271
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,320
Oh, no.
That's just the guy I collab with.
272
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:44,520
My co-collaber.
273
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,520
No, I'm a digital nomad.
274
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,960
To paraphrase the song - wherever
I lay my laptop, that's my office.
275
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,640
I'll leave you to it, then.
Yeah, if you don't mind,
276
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,920
cos I've actually got
a huge deadline so...
277
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,400
SHE SIGHS LOUDLY
278
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:02,280
SHE CLEARS THROAT
279
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,400
Oh, by the way,
my, er, latest post on the cafe
280
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,200
got a lot of traction yesterday,
281
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,960
so expect a bit of a flurry.
282
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,840
Great, cos we've just had these in.
283
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,000
Oh, yeah?
284
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,080
Oh, wow!
285
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,960
Hello! What's this?
286
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,760
It's a "macaronut".
287
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,160
A macaroni doughnut?
288
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,960
No, no, it's a macaron
and a doughnut.
289
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:26,800
That makes more sense.
290
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,680
Yeah. Sorry...
291
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:31,560
I do need to concentrate,
so if you could just...
292
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,040
Thank you.
293
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,840
LAUGHTER AND CHATTER OUTSIDE
294
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,360
All right, love!
Hello, how are you?!
295
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,960
This is my new furbaby! Fi!
296
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,200
Hello!
297
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,720
Oh, my God!
That's my good friend Fi.
298
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,880
You know Della Fry, the chef?
That's her wife.
299
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,200
She's a lesbian.
300
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,160
Fi! You coming for a coffee?
301
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,320
Hey, Mands.
302
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,760
I was just about to go and
meet my, er, dog walking pals...
303
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,240
Get in here! Come on.
304
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,880
You've got to try one of
these insane matchas.
305
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,520
BOBBY WHINES
Oh, my goodness, Bobby! Er...
306
00:10:58,520 --> 00:10:59,840
Welcome!
307
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:02,800
Oh, my God! Yeah! I know!
It's great, isn't it? Yeah.
308
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,240
No, I'm really pleased with it.
309
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,720
Oh, yeah! Now, Fi. Yep?
310
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,920
Let me get a shot of you
for the 'gram with a macaronut.
311
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,240
Yeah. Oh, a macaroni doughnut?
312
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,680
No, it's a macaron
and a doughnut, Fi.
313
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,800
Oh! Obviously.
FI LAUGHS
314
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,240
That's OK.
315
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,280
Oops, sorry!
316
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,920
Yeah, here we go.
317
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:20,760
Really? That face?
318
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,920
Yeah. OK, no, no, it's fun.
CAMERA SHUTTER
319
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,160
Oh, yes!
320
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,840
Right. I'm just going to upload
that to the socials...
321
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,280
ANNE: Hello!
322
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:31,480
I thought I'd do a quick video
about how I care for my peace lily.
323
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,080
That sounds just like Anne.
324
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,720
It is Anne. That's her wedding ring.
325
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,360
..doing well...
And I'm sure that's her bedroom.
326
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,640
First every day I check for
dry dead leaves. What's going on?
327
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,480
Oh, my God, is this the Irish lady
with the plants?
328
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,840
I mean, good for her
for having a go, but...
329
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:47,560
..please, Anne, come on -
LEAVE it to the professionals.
330
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:48,720
SHE LAUGHS
331
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,040
That's so embarrassing.
332
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,480
This one's got over a million views!
333
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,680
Yeah, right.
334
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,320
No, it does. It's over a million.
335
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,960
What? Yeah.
336
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,600
People love her.
337
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,160
How's that got a million views?
338
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,160
It's just some little fat hands
and a plant.
339
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,080
Has she done any more?
Yeah, look - this one.
340
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,360
It's got over four mil -
and she only posted it last night.
341
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,760
Wow!
342
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,960
Anne's the new
"Charlie bit my finger"!
343
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,720
That's crazy!
344
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:18,640
Oh, God, Bobby.
345
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,240
Right, let's get this thing built.
346
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,000
So, you just grip it at the end,
347
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,320
and give it a nice
controlled swing like so.
348
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,320
Coo-ee! It's only me.
349
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,480
Oh, God.
350
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:31,720
Georgie let me in.
351
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,640
You left this little box
of bits behind,
352
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,480
and I thought it might be important.
353
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,320
You really didn't have to come
all this way, you know, Felicity.
354
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,320
Just checking in
on my favourite workmen.
355
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:43,520
As you were.
356
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,120
Ah! There we are.
357
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,960
All right, er, so, remember, Ned,
358
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,640
you hold the hammer
at the bottom of the handle,
359
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,920
and you just let gravity
do the work.
360
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,280
Oi, JJ - is that a nail gun?
361
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:54,560
Er, yeah.
362
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,440
I saw it in Screwfix,
so I thought, "Treat yourself."
363
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,880
We have very different
definitions of "treats".
364
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,000
Can I have a go? No! Come on!
365
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,880
What? This is what woodwork
is all about. This.
366
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,120
Not these fancy guns and tools.
367
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,280
Sorry. All right - concentrate.
368
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,600
OK, here we go.
369
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,360
NAIL GUN PUMPS
370
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,800
BANG
Argh!
371
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,360
Ooh! Are you OK, mate?
372
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,800
I've got a first aid kit in the car.
373
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,960
No, I'm all right.
374
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,960
OK. Just need to not breathe
for a bit.
375
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,720
Amanda! Hey, Anne.
376
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:31,840
Are you OK?
377
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,160
Yeah, I just feel like
we haven't connected in ages,
378
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,720
and I was just passing.
379
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,800
I'm just putting the twins to bed.
380
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,040
Oh, that's OK.
Just stick 'em in front of a Bluey.
381
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,080
The cartoon. The cartoon...
382
00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:46,320
Oh, God.
383
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,280
Really sweet and shabby...
Yeah. ..and grubby and...
384
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:50,840
Oh!
385
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:51,880
SHE LAUGHS
386
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,520
I know bed times are hard, Anne,
but that's a bit drastic!
387
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:56,800
SHE LAUGHS
388
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,080
I just got sent it
out of the blue by some company.
389
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,080
They make their own
cucumber and aloe gin.
390
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,600
Sounds like a shower gel.
391
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,080
Why are they sending it to you?
392
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,160
Oh, well, they saw
an Insta film I made
393
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:09,320
about an aloe plant that I rescued
from the clearance shelf in B&Q,
394
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,960
and, er, they thought I'd like it.
395
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,920
SCOFFS: That's just stupid.
396
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,280
I-Is that not that how
Senuous works?
397
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:18,040
Like that time you got sent, er,
four boxes of mouthwash?
398
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,280
No, that's totally different, Anne.
Oh.
399
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:21,720
Now, listen,
400
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:25,080
I've been working as an influencer
for quite some time now
401
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,760
and do you know what I don't have?
402
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,560
Followers? No, Anne.
403
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,720
A mentee.
404
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,560
I'm a mentor without a mentee,
405
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,360
and I think you might just be
that mentee, for me.
406
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:35,760
Oh, um...
407
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,320
Now, you've got to undo all those
bad habits you've picked up.
408
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:39,920
Back to basics.
409
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,440
Make-up. Oh, but it's only
my hands that are in shot.
410
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,160
I usually do my posts first thing,
411
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,720
so, most of the time I'm just
straight out of the shower...!
412
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:49,000
Anne, creating content
isn't just a hobby -
413
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,400
it's a way of life. Mm, mm. OK?
414
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,840
I think you need to be a bit more
respectful of my culture.
415
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,800
Um...
416
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,080
My apologies to your people.
417
00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,720
Mm-hm. Yeah. Yeah.
418
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,160
Come on!
419
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,360
VIDEO: I just love plants.
420
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,840
Nature really gets me in the feels,
you know?
421
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,200
Yes, you can't beat
a bit of green fingering.
422
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,400
Watch this.
423
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,400
And just to add,
if you're vibing with this,
424
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,920
then like and subscribe to Senuous
for more inspiring content.
425
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:20,120
Oh, wow!
Meghan Markle eat your heart out.
426
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,400
You think? So good.
427
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,520
It's so good! It's quite
a departure from my usual posts.
428
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,360
Anne, this will have boosted
your viewing figures no end.
429
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:31,440
Well, um, according to the analytics
they've actually dropped off a bit.
430
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:32,920
Let me see.
431
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:37,040
That's about 70,000 less
than my previous three posts.
432
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,880
Oh, well. Anne, that's just numbers.
433
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,680
Rome wasn't built in a day.
434
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,720
OK. That's the problem with
the new gen of influencers.
435
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,280
They expect overnight success.
436
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,960
Mmm. I think you should just go
back to doing that, Anne, love.
437
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,200
Honestly. No offence, Mands.
438
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,600
Abigail, with the greatest respect,
this is my forte,
439
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,240
and I'm imparting my extensive
expertise for free
440
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,280
to my friend who's struggling.
441
00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,720
So, you just stick to the...
442
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,320
Running a food bank.
443
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,320
Please stop virtue-signalling.
It's just...
444
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:07,680
SHE LAUGHS
445
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,120
I gave you guys ๏ฟฝ3,000,
446
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,720
you don't hear me shoehorning it
into every conversation.
447
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:19,160
She literally gave me
a seven-foot cheque.
448
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:28,960
Oh! Jeez Louise,
it's cold out there.
449
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,560
It's all right for you. You ain't
got to go out in bleedin' shorts.
450
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:32,880
Should've brought my thermals.
451
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:34,600
Oh, God, Bobby.
452
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,400
Ugh!
PHONE VIBRATES
453
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,800
Ugh...
Is your mum all right, Amanda?
454
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,040
Yeah, she's fine.
455
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,680
I mean, she never really
got over John Lewis
456
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:45,880
reducing their loyalty points,
but otherwise she's all right.
457
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,360
She's constantly in my garden.
458
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,440
My garden.
459
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,840
Do you think she
might be a bit lonely?
460
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,280
Lonely? My mother? Yeah.
461
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,280
SCOFFS: Please.
462
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,400
She should get a dog
if she's lonely.
463
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,320
No, Fi! I was lonely without Dells,
then I got a dog,
464
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:03,280
and I met loads of new dog-walking
pals, and I'm no longer lonely.
465
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,440
Fi, that makes you sound
really lonely.
466
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,480
Guys, my mother's not lonely.
467
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,800
Honestly, she's got a more active
social life than I do.
468
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,800
She's basically brunching her way
through my inheritance.
469
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,440
Don't you worry about her.
470
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,680
Then why is she currently
sat on my front step
471
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,320
waiting for me to let her in
like a stray cat?
472
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,320
It's freezing out there.
473
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,960
Fine. I'll have a word.
474
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,720
Thank you.
475
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,120
Oh, look, it's Pippa's mummy!
476
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:31,160
Maggie! Look who I'm with!
477
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,520
Who's this? She is a massive,
massive fan of yours.
478
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,160
Oh! Yeah! Come and look at this.
479
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,320
Come on, Pippa! Here we go.
480
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,360
Are you the lady from Insta?
481
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,640
Guilty as charged.
THEY LAUGH
482
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:47,960
My fiddle-leaf tree has
never looked so healthy.
483
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,600
I love your accent, by the way.
484
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,800
Oh, thank you.
485
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,880
Oh, wait, wait, we have to
Facetime my friend Sarah.
486
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,720
She loves you too! Yeah!
487
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,480
You're a proper celeb now, Anne!
CALL CONNECTING
488
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,040
Hi - you're not going to
believe who I'm with!
489
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,960
SARAH: Oh, my God!
Is that who I think it is?!
490
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,480
Fi, what is going on with your dog?
491
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,240
Every time it sees me it does that.
492
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,840
You think? Yes.
493
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,560
Your dog clearly fancies me.
494
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:09,880
But it might be worms, Mand.
495
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,320
It's not worms, Fi.
496
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,200
I've seen this before.
497
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,520
Albeit on human men,
but it's definitely a thing.
498
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,000
SARAH: Oh, my God, can you
say begonia? "Bergonia".
499
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,080
MAGGIE SQUEALS
500
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,400
Hey, girl!
501
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,520
Busy today, I see. Hmm.
502
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,040
My posts must be kicking in.
503
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,720
I'll get the usual. Sure.
504
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:35,440
And...an almond croissant.
505
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,360
I shouldn't-couldn't-wouldn't,
but...
506
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:39,520
You know what? I'll actually get
a couple of extra for the kids.
507
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,400
Sure. Just while I've got you,
508
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,680
did you want to settle up your tab?
509
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,720
I just thought, cos it's coming up
towards the end of the week...
510
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,000
AMANDA LAUGHS
511
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,680
That's good. A tab.
512
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,480
SHE SCOFFS
513
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,160
RECEIPT PRINTS
Oh you're not joking.
514
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,080
There you go.
515
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,320
This is ๏ฟฝ270.
516
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,960
Hmm? You said my drinks were gratis.
517
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,760
I said the first coffee was gratis.
518
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,000
AMANDA: Yeah, "gratissss".
519
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,760
Ssss. Plural.
520
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,800
You can see why I thought
it was more than one.
521
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,480
Er, not really.
522
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,560
It is the plural of the Latin
word "gratia",
523
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,240
but in English it functions
in an invariable form.
524
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,880
Don't patronise me, sweetheart.
525
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,840
I'm not - I did a classics degree.
526
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:23,000
You want to talk Latin,
let's talk Latin, OK?
527
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,120
Prid quo pro, Ellie.
528
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:28,280
I have been doing a lot of work
for you on the socials.
529
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,280
Do you have any idea
how much word of mouth
530
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,280
I've generated for you, my love?
531
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:36,240
Well, clearly not enough, because
you're our only customer. Oh!
532
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,520
Low blow, Ellie. Low blow.
533
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,000
No need to make this personal.
534
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,720
It's the opposite of making
it personal, Amanda.
535
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,000
I'm trying to run a business.
536
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,640
Well, maybe if you didn't
charge ๏ฟฝ4.50 for a coffee
537
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,960
with a vagina on top.
It's a coffee bean.
538
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,600
That's for today's drink,
and you're not getting a penny more.
539
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,920
And I'm taking a scone, gratia.
540
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,800
That's going on your tab!
541
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,240
All right, so the secret
is to tidy as you go.
542
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,720
So, grab the broom.
543
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:06,960
That's going to take ages.
544
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,080
Thank you, Felicity.
545
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,960
If you could just leave us to it.
546
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,320
There you are!
547
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,480
Oh, look - Amanda's home.
548
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,400
Maybe you want to hang out
in her flat, Felicity.
549
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:15,840
No, I'm fine.
550
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,400
Er...! You are not going to believe
what just happened to me.
551
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,560
Did someone just guess
your real age? No, Mal.
552
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,080
The woman in Vantablack Coffee -
553
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,960
she just asked me to pay for every
single item I've consumed this week.
554
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,920
Only you would be shocked by that.
555
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,040
Well, there's no such thing
as a free lunch, darling.
556
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,680
There's no such thing
as a free shed.
557
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,240
Do you know what? Forget it.
558
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,400
Er, Amanda? Can you, erm...?
559
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,800
Not now, Mal. I am enraged.
560
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,400
WHIRRING
561
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,440
Yo, JJ! That looks way more fun!
562
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,480
Let me have a go.
563
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,080
You know what?
564
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,520
I give up.
565
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,360
I don't know why I bother.
566
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:53,320
Is he...? Is he all right?
567
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,280
Mal, you in here?
568
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:58,680
You all right, mate?
569
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,000
Yeah, I'm fine.
570
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,480
Cool, it's just...
571
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,240
..that's a lot of sriracha.
572
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,480
HE SIGHS
573
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,240
I know it's stupid,
574
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,560
but all of those lessons
my dad taught me,
575
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,080
like how to chisel
and use a screwdriver -
576
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,200
kids these days just
don't need to know that.
577
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,520
Like using an A to Z
or the Yellow Pages.
578
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,400
It's just...useless information.
579
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,960
You're spending time with him,
580
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,040
showing him how to solve problems.
581
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,400
My dad spent years
teaching me how to code.
582
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,440
Nobody needs to learn
how to code any more.
583
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,800
AI can do it in, like, a nanosecond.
584
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:34,680
Hmm. But I'm still glad
I spent time with him. Yeah?
585
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,880
Yeah, I should probably
apologise to him, eh? Yeah.
586
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,880
And then, um...
587
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,760
..do you want to
have a go on my nail gun?
588
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:44,800
Fuck yeah.
589
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,120
JJ LAUGHS
590
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:49,960
Mm...
591
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,680
Oh, OK, let me get some water...
592
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,600
It's burning! Agh, it's burning. Mm!
593
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,160
Hi, Amanda. What's this?
594
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,320
Sorry, but you gave me
no choice but to name and shame.
595
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,440
That's illegal.
Do you know what else is illegal?
596
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:18,640
Not paying your bill.
597
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,920
Take it down.
598
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,240
No. Not until you've paid.
599
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,800
Ellie, are you...?!
600
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,440
It is ๏ฟฝ270!
601
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,480
Amanda, you're lucky
I haven't gone to the police.
602
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:28,840
You're lucky
I haven't called my lawyer.
603
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:29,920
Do you even have a lawyer?
604
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,240
Yes, I do have a lawyer,
Ellie, actually,
605
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,240
and I'm going to call them
right now.
606
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,040
Yeah. Hi. It's Amanda Hughes,
607
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,440
and I'd like to speak
to my solicitor, please.
608
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,280
They're putting me through.
609
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:48,560
Last chance, Ellie.
610
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:49,680
No.
611
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,120
Yeah. Hi. It's Amanda,
612
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,880
and I...
PHONE VIBRATES
613
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,720
He got cut off,
he's calling me back.
614
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,400
I can see the caller ID.
It's your mum.
615
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,200
Yes.
616
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,520
She's my lawyer.
617
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,080
No, she's not.
618
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,080
I can't actually afford
to pay you right now.
619
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,560
How are you going to
settle this bill, then?
620
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,040
And...action.
621
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,040
Whenever I'm in SoHa,
622
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:25,840
I like to enjoy a coffee
from Vantablack Coffee.
623
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,400
And...cut.
624
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,600
Great.
625
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,240
OK? Yeah.
626
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,840
Right. I'm just going to post
this on your Insta, Anne.
627
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:34,920
Why is there a willy and balls
on my coffee?
628
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,160
It's not.
629
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:37,520
It's a shamrock.
630
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,200
Ah, Ned!
631
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,880
Backgammon? Chess? Cards?
632
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,720
I could make it interesting.
633
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,600
Amanda? Hmm? Play it cool.
634
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:00,960
Your boyfriend's just walked in.
635
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,160
Where?
636
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,360
ABS LAUGHS
637
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:05,880
Please don't make light of it,
Abigail.
638
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,440
I actually feel quite violated.
639
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,080
Hey, good news! Hi!
640
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,400
The vet's had a look at Bob's
bits'n'bobs... Right.
641
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,640
..and it turns out
he was obsessed with his privates
642
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,720
because he needed
his glands drained.
643
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,440
So, you are off the hook.
644
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,920
Oh, Mands. I'm sorry Bobby
doesn't fancy you.
645
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,640
SCOFFS: Yeah, that's great news,
646
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,360
cos frankly, it was gross, so...
647
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:26,720
I'm glad!
THEY LAUGH
648
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:27,840
Good! Phew!
649
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,480
You OK, Anne? You all right?
650
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,600
Hi.
651
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:31,680
What's wrong?
652
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,440
I've had no end of grief
since that Vantablack post.
653
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,200
Everyone is accusing me
of being a Judas and a sell-out.
654
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,240
That's ridiculous.
655
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,240
How do they expect internet
artistes to make money?
656
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,640
Look at the comments.
657
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,560
"We came here for plant pot hacks,
658
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,880
"and now she's trying
to peddle us expensive coffee".
659
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,400
Well... And apparently I am "all
that is wrong with society", Amanda.
660
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,280
Haters gonna hate, Anne.
661
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,600
Y'know? Yeah, well,
I don't want to be hated.
662
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,200
So, I've gone back to my hands,
my voice, and my pot plants.
663
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,560
OK, Anne.
664
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:58,600
I should've never have messed
with the formula.
665
00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,720
Mum!
666
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,040
How could you? What?
667
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:02,920
After all those talks
of online safety,
668
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,200
and you go and flash
the entire internet.
669
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,080
What are you talking about?
That's just a Christmas cactus.
670
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,120
No, Mum.
671
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:10,840
Look at the pot!
672
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,120
Hmm? Oh, my God!
673
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:14,400
See - exactly.
674
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,200
You were worried about
some fake bumhole
675
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:17,880
and now everyone in the world
has seen my mum's tits!
676
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,880
FI GASPS
Oh, shit.
677
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:22,880
Symmetrical.
678
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,120
Good for you, Anne.
679
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:31,840
Yo, Ned.
680
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,400
You all right, Dad? Yeah.
681
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:34,960
You want to go
and hang out in the shed?
682
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,200
I mean, I would,
but it's infested with old ladies.
683
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:43,360
MUFFLED CHATTER
684
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:45,080
All right - I'll go and have a word.
685
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,240
You know what? I think Felicity
needs the shed more than I do.
686
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:49,360
Yeah.
687
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,560
All right, fine.
You can have my room.
688
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,280
Yeah!
689
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:59,280
Thank you, Dad. I love you so much!
Yeah, I love you too.
690
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:00,880
Cheers! Cheers! Cheers!
691
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:04,120
Oh, it's so nice to be somewhere
where the drinks are actually free.
692
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:06,920
Mm. Mummy, you know if you're
ever lonely, you just have to say.
693
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,760
Why would you ever
think I'd be lonely?
694
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:09,800
SHE LAUGHS
695
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:10,880
Mm.
696
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,520
Dammit! What's up, Anne?
697
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:13,600
Oh, God!
698
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,240
They've only gone and cancelled
my appearance on Alan Titchmarsh.
699
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,680
Oh, Anne. Yeah.
700
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,600
I wish I'd never gone on
that feckin' Insta.
701
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,720
Hey, all publicity's good publicity.
702
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,480
Tell that to Prince Andrew.
703
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,760
Right. Can we all do a selfie?
704
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,320
The Summer House Gang?
705
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,360
Yes! Oh, Mummy! Sweet, yes.
706
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:34,000
OK, where is it, where is it?
OK, just a second.
707
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,120
OK.
708
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:36,840
Anne, your tit's out again. Oh, God!
709
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,760
I'm joking, Anne! I'm joking.
710
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,000
CAMERA SHUTTER
711
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,160
ALL: Ooh!
712
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,560
Oh, look at me! That's fantastic!
713
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:43,680
I just need some more ice.
714
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,200
Will you watch Bobby for me?
Yep. Thanks.
715
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,400
BOBBY WHINES
716
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,480
All right, Bobby?
717
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,280
Ugh!
718
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,120
You little perv.
719
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,080
Still got it.
720
00:26:59,130 --> 00:27:03,680
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