Original subtitles

- Mrs. Torresi. - Mr. Piselli!

- It will soon pour again. - No, they're just small showers.

You think? Who knows!

- We meet again here today. - Oh, yes!

We always meet here.

All these faces have now become familiar to me.

All good people like us who come to visit their deceased.

Like us?

- Is he like us, too? - Of course.

Are you sure he isn't a deceased?

What are you saying, Mr. Piselli? He left the cemetery with me.

I won't insist. He doesn't look like he left the cemetery.

Actually, he looks like he escaped from there!

Here comes the bus.

I know this road by heart.

I've been travelling on it for a year.

For me, it's one year less twelve days.

It seems like yesterday.

You see, Mrs. Torresi, we were able to keep the memory alive.

Each Sunday... rain, sun, wind... we go up there.

I sometimes go during the week, too.

I so envy you! I can't do that.

I have a furniture store. Antique and modern furniture.

Payment on instalments, convenient prices.

You are justified, Mr. Piselli,

but there are people who can come, but almost never do.

They're disgraceful! How can they do that?

I'm only happy when I'm up there near poor Paolo.

And I, when I'm up there near my poor Argira's tomb.

I speak to her as if...

See these handkerchiefs? Already embroidered.

She had prepared them.

Poor thing. She sensed that she'd be the first to die.

No, she'd made them for herself

when I had bronchopneumonia.

Poor soul. She thought of everything. Such golden hands!

Mr. Piselli, I'd have been happy if it had happened to me first.

I feel the same way!

Darn it! What is going on?

Mr. Piselli, for us every day is the same now,

but for others, it's Carnival period.

That's true! Today is the last Sunday of Carnival.

That's why there isn't a soul in the cemetery!

God willing, winter is over.

I need sun like I need bread.

You're telling me! In March and April I feel like I'm born again.

Florence is so lovely in the spring!

You can say it's enchanting!

Viale dei Colli, Settignano, Fiesole.

Florence, for us Neapolitans,

is the only city that doesn't make us homesick for Naples.

- Have you been here long? - Twenty-two years.

I came with my family on a trip with the people's train.

- And we stayed. - That's what always happens.

- Whoever comes never wants to leave. - It's true.

Whoever comes here never wants...

never wants to leave.

Oh, yes! Oh, yes!

A foreigner would stay in Florence even if he were dead.

While all we have left of Florence is the cemetery.

Yes! That is our real home!

I can't wait to go there definitively,

to join my adored Paolo. What a man!

What a woman!

What a woman!

What a woman!

- Congratulations! - I don't want publicity.

We need to be cheerful. It's a wedding, not a funeral!

This isn't a wedding nor a funeral.

- It's a First Holy Communion! - It's my business.

One thousand,

two thousand, three thousand.

Pay the witnesses. See you at the cafe. Let's go, dear.

- The money! - I'm not running away!

The groom gave me 2,000 liras. Divide it among yourselves.

- What? - The groom is stingy.

What should I say? I'm his friend and was his best man for free!

- Alright, but... - This is fine.

It's alright to marry secretly without any luxury,

but at least a pastry!

What's the saying? You only marry once!

I don't think that proverb is very appropriate, right?

Yes, forget what I said. Eat this.

- No, you eat it. - You, you must eat it.

- You eat it. - No! No! You must eat it.

I wanted to offer you a pastry.

One can't refuse a pastry.

- You want another one? - If it pleases you...

If you want to please me, call my home.

Advise Adele that we'll be there shortly.

Right away. You can see a real friend even with phone calls.

Gennaro and I are real friends.

Even if I'm just a neighbor, I feel like family.

If he doesn't come to my home at lunch time, he feels awful.

- He doesn't eat. Isn't that so? - I don't eat. I feel ill.

I'm at home there, like a son.

- Listen, son, go call. - Yes, right away.

I just wanted to tell the lady

that we are very pleased to welcome her in our home.

- Pasquale! My home. - I live upstairs, so it's the same.

Dear Mrs. Gemma, Gennaro and I care for each other dearly.

We felt very lonely. We are like two Neapolitans abroad.

Let's hope that you will be good company for us.

Pasquale, my wife will keep me company.

Let's not mix up lunch with dinner. I mean, lunch with my wife.

- Go to phone. - I'm going. Straight away.

- Straight away. I'm off. - Pasquale, will you go?

- I'm running. - No, you're drinking.

He's terrible!

A real moocher!

I'll be right there.

Hello? Hello?

There was no need to call. Alright.

I'm coming!

Oh, it's you!

- Flowers! - It was Mirella's idea.

She said the store personnel couldn't miss this occasion.

Great occasion! Give them to me.

I'll put them with the others.

- Where are you taking them? - To the bedroom.

I'm sorry I don't have candles.

I could have set up a funeral room!

Be honest. You are angry because you weren't invited to the ceremony.

No, I'm not a ceremony person.

- I'll see who it is. - I'll go. They surely came for me.

Adele, don't put the flowers with the others.

With what we spent, at least they'll see them!

I'm Mrs. Caporali, Mrs. Torresi's niece.

- We are her niece and nephew. - Are they in church?

- They'll be here any minute. - If you want, I can accompany you.

- I think it would be better... - I prefer waiting here, thank you.

- Come. - Please, come.

Am I mistaken or this marriage doesn't convince you either?

It doesn't convince me at all!

I don't know what got into Auntie to get married without telling us!

Right! We were a bit disoriented.

We were very disappointed, not disorientated!

Do we know what kind of a person Mr. Piselli is?

You're asking me? I had better not speak!

Don't bother with her. She was quite disappointed.

She was very fond of Mr. Piselli's first wife, poor soul.

Well, I hope my aunt wasn't deceived.

Her first husband left her very well off.

Of course not!

Mr. Piselli is rich, and is a good man.

Then why did they secretly get married?

They didn't want to create a lot of commotion.

A widow and a widower... Please.

But at least the relatives! My aunt only has me.

Something solemn. One doesn't marry every day.

A couple invites loved ones, and has a toast.

I could have said a few words.

- Who are you? - I'm the lead store salesman.

- That's why you defend Mr. Piselli! - I don't defend him.

I say he's a good man because it's the truth.

Yes, but Auntie couldn't have decided to marrying secretly.

And when a person hides, there's a reason.

Sometimes it is necessary to hide, and it can be very nice.

Weren't they coming right back?

Maybe the bride got so emotional that she fainted.

Hello? Yes, he's still here.

What's he doing? Is he marrying, too?

Looks like he's on the right track.

Tell him to come here immediately.

If he isn't in the store, Mr. Piselli will get angry.

- Here we are. - Congratulations, Mr. Piselli!

- To you too, ma'am. - Thank you, Milena.

- Where is Alberto? - Home, but he's coming down.

When I'm away, I don't want him to leave the store!

- Why should he go out? - Gennaro...

- Excuse me, dear. - Maybe we had better leave.

- Where're you going? - You surely want to be alone.

- Here in the store? - You're newlyweds.

- Pasquale, don't make me laugh! - Good day, Don Gennaro.

- Congratulations! To you, too. - Thank you.

- You're back! - Yes. I was with the lady's niece.

- My niece? - Yes. She's waiting for you.

Your niece is quite lovely. She must be very nice.

- Her husband is pleasant, too. - There's also a husband?

- He's nice, too? - I think so.

My auntie did something awful to me!

Alright, but you know that I adore order,

and don't like arguments.

- But you enjoy living well! - Well, a certain style...

- Considering my position... - Yeah, sure! Your position!

If I hadn't gone to your office head, you'd still be precarious.

I realize that life's needs keep getting tougher...

You don't know what could happen with this marriage!

Our aunt may not leave us any money!

The opposite could happen, too.

If he doesn't have relatives, when he passes away...

Wishful thinking! She wrote on his grave, "The devastated wife,"

"yearning to join her adored husband soon".

And after a year she married someone else!

The mysteries of the mind...

Did you want something?

No, thanks. What's in here?

- The lovebirds' nest. - Is it his first wife's room?

No! Another room, another interior design.

The home is very big and has a lot of furniture.

He didn't neglect anything in erasing the other one.

Absolutely! Meanwhile, on the tomb of that poor woman

there's written, "Her inconsolable husband".

Tell me something else. Does he have relatives?

- A sister-in-law, niece and nephew. - Do they often come to see him?

No. The last time they came was when poor Mrs. Piselli died.

His nephew sometimes shows up.

- Candido! - Oh, Celestino!

I brought the photos of last Sunday's wedding.

- Take them to the newlyweds. - No, you must take them.

You came out better than they did!

I can't get the photos of all the weddings that take place here!

Isn't that Piselli, the guy with the furniture store, your relative?

- He's my uncle. - Why weren't you at the ceremony?

- Was there Uncle Gennaro's funeral? - No, his wedding.

- Candido, don't joke. - I'm not.

-Your uncle got married this morning. -Tell me the truth.

I'll give you all the photographs.

You said Uncle Gennaro got married to frighten me.

- He died, didn't he? - No. I tell you he got married.

At his age?

With a niece and nephew waiting... I'll take care of it!

- It's them. - I can't remember that poem well.

- So much the better! - "There's no woman without love"...

Stop it!

- Please... - Here we are.

- What a lovely surprise! - No. You surprised us!

- How are you doing? - Fine, Auntie.

- A hundred of these days. - That isn't a nice wish,

but a threat! - Dear Uncle...

- May I call you "Uncle"? - Certainly!

- Dear niece! - Dear Uncle!

Gennaro, excuse me...

If I may, I'll go home and change, and walk through your kitchen.

You don't ask permission to come to my home,

but you ask it to go to yours. - I'll be right back.

- Excuse me, ma'am. - But we're going in a half hour.

- I'll be back in a second. - Dear niece, is he your husband?

- So they say. - I didn't know, I wasn't told.

Is he a real husband? With a wedding band, a double bed?

Yes. We've been married four years.

Always with him?

- A convenience marriage? - No, no!

- I don't marry for convenience! - Oh, no?

- For love? - Yes.

You found nothing better. There wasn't much, so you got this...

- I had lots of suitors! - Really?

- And you chose him? - Yes.

I'll give you an uncle's advice, a furniture store uncle.

Separate bedrooms. Convenient prices.

- Uncle Gennaro sells furniture. - Very well.

- The half-wit approves! - No, he prepared a speech.

Kids, thanks for your intention, but there's no time.

- But it's brief. - Let him give it. It's brief!

Go ahead.

"As they say, there is no woman without love",

"nor are there weddings without a speech."

"The first is lovely when it never dies..."

No! The first is already dead, and the second must live!

"The second is better if it's strong."

Bravo! By the way, I take it light with some milk.

- Gennaro, don't interrupt. - That's how I take it!

- Alright, but... - I have it with a dab of milk.

"I won't be over a minute."

- Bravo! - "Minutes are precious today."

"I give cheers to the newlyweds."

"To the others, I ask to cry out, 'Long live the newlyweds'!"

Bravo! Those are Pascoli's verses, huh?

- No, someone else. - I could have bet on it!

Gemma, I'm going to change. I leave you with your family.

- You surely have things to say. - Nothing else, actually.

- Please, this way. - Thank you.

Auntie, if there had been some people...

Dear Auntie, I'd forgotten to offer you these flowers.

- Thanks. You shouldn't have. - It's nothing.

- Adele! - If I'd known in time,

I'd have done more. - Arrange these flowers, please.

- Adele! - Coming!

Look at this!

Adele!

Come here. What are all these flowers?

The neighboring shopkeepers sent them to you.

Can't you see this isn't a bedroom anymore?

It has become a florist's shop!

Can't you see? What is this?

The late Mrs. Piselli. Don't you recognize her?

Yes, but what's she to do with it? This is no longer a bedroom.

It has become a funeral room!

Why did you have to put it here?

- Was I to put it in the kitchen? - No, not the kitchen!

But this isn't the right place, put it elsewhere. Here.

And get rid of all these flowers. Put the notes aside,

and I will thank everyone when I return from my honeymoon.

I don't know...

What is it?

- Who is she? - Don't you recognize her?

Are you disappointed I didn't invite you, or that I got remarried?

What are you saying, dear Auntie?

We were worried in knowing you were alone!

We wanted you to come live with us.

No. You wanted to come live with me.

It's the same thing. Now that you're married, we can rest assured.

So much the better! Excuse me, but I must go change.

I'll accompany you to the station.

- We're leaving by car. - I'll come to say goodbye!

Leave me that satisfaction, at least. I'll go run an errand and be back.

- Go on. - I don't know if I can.

- Don't worry. - Say goodbye to Uncle Gennaro.

Goodbye, Auntie.

- Did they leave? - Yes. They'll return, unfortunately.

Shall I help you get undressed?

No, thanks. I learned long ago to do it by myself.

- Shall I send Adele? - No, thanks.

I should help Mrs. Gemma get undressed?

You want to help me get undressed?

You're like this because you're afraid of not getting along with her.

But you will, because she is very kind.

- No one is better than her. - Don't exaggerate!

She fired her maid to have you.

She even fired her first husband to have you!

Adele! Don't say such things!

You'll get along with Mrs. Gemma.

Let's hope I will, too.

Someone rang. Go open.

"The inconsolable husband"!

Am I to blame if I found consolation?

Your nephew is here.

What happened?

Did a coil break? You're moving like this.

- What do you want? - You think you did something nice?

- I should've asked your permission? - I'm not saying that.

- But not marrying like that. - Meaning?

If you wanted a widow, you could’ve chosen your sister-in-law.

Really? My sister-in-law?

I should've married your mother, my brother's widow?

She would've accepted. I could've put in a good word.

Celestino, I marry whoever I want. Understand?

Move. Don't make me angry!

Keep that in mind, if you should become be a widower again.

You have a fixation!

We could all settle down. I have a widow mother

and a fiancée waiting to get married.

No, Celestino, your fiancée is too young for me.

Forget Rosina! Don't you dare touch her!

- I am marrying her! - Go ahead! What do you want?

You think someone who takes photos in the street can marry?

I've always known that priests can't marry, not photographers.

No. Those who don't have room in the house can't get married!

Poor Rosina has fried away for two years, waiting.

She must have consumed a lot of oil!

- She fries without oil! - She fries with water?

She must burn everything! If she can't cook, why marry her?

You nitwit! Go on!

After what you did, you still want to joke?

What should I have done?

Commit suicide and leave you the house, money and store?

Other deaths weren't necessary for everyone to get settled.

Auntie's death was enough, but when there's no comprehension...

Celestino! Celestino! Celestino! Celestino!

I am an adult and don't have to answer to anyone.

I felt lonely, and I remarried.

Lonely? My mother is a widow, my sister is unemployed, my fiancée...

She fries fish with water!

I don't like fish fried in water! Come on!

- Where did we meet? - You and me?

- Her. - Who?

You mean your aunt? You said "her"!

How rude! Yes.

We were tomb neighbors.

Is it true that we own buildings?

We? Who?

- Auntie. - Oh, yes.

Her first husband. He was a real-estate builder.

- Huh? - Real-estate builder.

- Real-estate? - Yes, a builder.

He built homes, he constructed them.

Then I'll accept a house from her, but you put the furniture.

We'll discuss that later. I'm busy now.

We have to go to Naples on our honeymoon.

- Alright! Go to Naples and then... - Then what?

What do you mean?

- Then Capri and Sorrento. - Of course.

I'll see Capri, Sorrento, Naples, and I won't die!

I'll see Capri, Sorrento, Naples, and live my life.

Now make up some excuse and go away.

You're not introducing me to my aunt?

Her name is now "Piselli", and I shouldn't meet her?

Well, yes. Come here.

Since you didn't think about it because you're ill-mannered,

give her these flowers.

- Gemma! - Should I make a speech?

- No speech! - Don't get upset.

No speech! Gemma!

- Did you want something? - Come here.

Oh! You had a photographer come.

He's not just a photographer, but also a nephew.

My pleasure! Thank you.

Next time you get married, tell us!

Next time?

The lady will not marry again!

Gennaro, since he has a camera, shall we take a picture?

Actually, I don't trust him much.

You are lucky. This is the loveliest camera in the world!

- There! - Shall we take one sitting down?

No, sitting is for old people.

You are too young.

Let's take one of the groom holding the bride

before walking through the door. - Scoundrel!

Great! You were photographed in a very natural

and nonchalant pose. - Wait.

Wait, I'll help you.

Ouch! My knees!

Come by Wednesday afternoon.

What? Isn't it a gift?

We are workers and didn't receive an inheritance!

Gennaro, are we ready? Shall we go?

Are "we" ready? Shall "we" go?

Hey, you plan on coming on our honeymoon with us?

No, it's just a way of saying. I'm not moving from here.

- Let's get the suitcases. - I will get the suitcases.

I'm coming there.

A gift! A gift!

They're not gift people!

Adele! Bring me a handkerchief, please.

- What're you doing? Put them down! - Why?

The groom shouldn't tire himself out. I will do it.

Thanks, but straining does me good. It strengthens my muscles.

It may be an illusion, but I feel like I'm twenty.

What do you mean? I know a guy who died at 19.

Really? I knew one

who died when he was 100 years old!

- Yes! - 120.

- Yes! - 150.

- No one ever got to 150. - Oh, really?

Well, I'll get there. Just imagine!

Just imagine! I'll live to be 150.

I'll beat the record for longevity.

I'm fit as a fiddle. Even the doctor said it.

- I am "longvus". - Longevous.

Take your hands out of your pockets and get the suitcases. You're young!

Me, young? I'm 30 years old!

He says he's 20.

Adele, my handkerchief!

- Well, Mrs. Nella? - Well, what?

- I asked to see you again. - You will.

Florence is such a small city, that we'll surely meet.

What's Mr. Gennaro's nephew like?

I don't know him well. He rarely comes to the store.

- So, Mrs. Nella... - Come on! Not here!

Mrs. Gemma, I took the liberty of getting you a small gift.

Oh! These flowers must really be in fashion!

Very much. Do me the honor of taking them with you.

Do him this honor. We'll throw them out the window.

Now you'll take a nice trip. Then we'll talk about the apartment.

- What apartment? - This scoundrel

knows a woman who fries. He likes fried food and wants to marry her.

I told him that marriage is a gyp...

- What, Gennaro? - It's a gyp for young people.

- It's a good deal for us. - But what've I got to do with it?

Uncle Gennaro has furniture, Auntie has real-estate...

Oh, I see! I'm sorry, but I've no available apartments now.

I'm sorry, too. Then tell the fryer to fry some more.

If Auntie has some free apartments,

there are a lot of people to think about.

- Who is she? - I'm her niece.

So you did it for spite!

Not only did you marry, but with a woman who has a niece!

Did you think that at her age she had a great-grandmother?

Adele, take care of the house. I'll write.

- Will you write to me, too? - You know I'm not good at writing.

- Let's go. - They've other things to do!

- Have a good trip! - Goodbye!

Best wishes! Best wishes!

You'll see how beautiful Naples is! The gulf, Castel dell'Ovo, Vesuvius.

The Vomero hill, San Martino, Santa Lucia,

the Via Caracciolo waterfront, the municipal park, the big hotels.

- Gennaro Piselli. - Profession?

Antique and modern furniture businessman.

Special discounts for pleasant doormen.

- Thank you. Where were you born? - Here.

- In this hotel? - No, I was born in Naples.

- Great! When? - When? When? Guess.

- I don't know. - I have to say everything!

Boy! How should I know?

- Let's see if you guess. - Let's see.

- 19...? - 02!

- No. - 05!

- 06, 07! - 06, 07!

- Yes? - Half a liter, thank you.

- Bachelor or married? - Married widower.

- Married widower? - Married to a widow.

- I don't understand. - I remarried.

- Do you know that gentleman? - They just arrived.

- Piselli! - Attorney!

- Gennaro! - What a pleasure!

- Why are you in Naples? - I am with my wife.

Ma'am, I didn't recognize you. You have changed.

She changed so much, that she's someone else!

- She's not your wife? Excuse me. - She is my wife!

- My first one died. I remarried. - Poor Mrs. Piselli!

If I had known, I'd have sent you a telegram.

- Thank you just the same. - I don't know

if I should express my condolences or my congratulations.

Let's make it half way. "Congralences"!

Alright. Congralences!

I have to go to Rome now. I've a case in the High Court.

- Oh, my gosh! - If you need me...

No! No! Thank you. Keep away from lawyers!

Especially from him! He's pleasant as a friend,

but as a lawyer he's like mozzarella!

I'll tell you an anecdote later.

Then I'll take you to Pompeii and show you the basilica and bell tower.

Then I'll show you the excavations and you'll see lots of antiquity.

Broken columns, huge stones overturned on the ground,

broken pavements, crumbled homes.

It seems like a devastated city.

And fun things, too.

You'll see!

Group G on this side, please. Come, please.

The ladies can't go inside. Please. Please.

No, ladies can't go inside.

Go ahead.

- The lady can't go inside. - Why not?

Why? I understand. It's only for men, right?

You should've said it. Men on one side and women on the other.

There are things inside that only men can see.

- What do you mean? - I understand.

Only men can see them because they're for men only.

Ancient Roman pants, ancient Roman suspenders,

Sabina slippers... - I want to see them, too.

- You can't. - If she promises to close her eyes?

- No. - Blindfolded?

- It's not possible. - Then let's leave.

- Wait. - No. Let's leave. Come on!

- I'll go, and then tell you. - No!

If I can't see it, you can't either!

Just a peek! Alright.

Then we'll go to Capri, the golden island, the mermaids' rock.

Can you imagine? On the steamship. What a delightful trip!

On that water which is so peaceful, you'll feel like sliding on oil.

- Capri is lovely, huh? - Uh-huh.

We did the right thing in taking pills for seasickness.

- Do you feel ill? - No!

The waves are long today.

They call them "long"!

Mergellina,

paradise for lovers.

Mergellina.

This little port shows you

these boats, these rocks,

scented by herbs of the sea

that fall asleep, lying on top

of a crystal blue... - Waiter, take these flowers away.

Certainly.

To be an excellent waiter,

you must be a psychologist.

I'm one of them. I know everyone, and understood you right away.

You, who've been married 15 or 20 years, must be treated one way,

while newlyweds must be treated another way.

Remember when we came here on our honeymoon?

Of course! We've been married nine years.

My compliments! Waiter, come here.

As a psychologist, you are worth zero

because the lady and I just got married.

Let's see how good a waiter you are.

My wife and I would like two very delicious

fish soups.

- We are in Naples! - Now you're offending me,

because in five minutes you'll have two fish soups

that can raise the dead! - What? The dead?

We made a mistake. Two broths with noodles.

Alright, forget it. Two broths with noodles, table 14!

Would you like a song...

- Yes. - Sentimental or humorous?

- Sentimental. - No, dear, we're in Naples.

- Cheerful. - A humorous song!

Pasqualino, "The Shadow of the Poor Deceased".

If Mattia's doctor hadn't mistaken the illness,

the lady who is now mine

would still be Mattia's wife.

He would've gotten two birds with one stone.

He'd be alive, and I wouldn't have been framed!

I like anise.

Mattia didn't drink it.

I have a few vices.

Mattia didn't have any.

The shadow of the poor deceased,

I don't know why,

leaves Purgatory

and sends me there.

When, in the evening,

I'm about to embrace the lovely widow,

from a cloud of angels,

he appears before me.

The shadow of the poor deceased

lies down with me.

So in our sweet bed

there are three of us.

- Now comes the third part. - No, no! Here.

- Thank you, sir. - Enough. Go.

- Would you like some flowers? - You have chrysanthemums?

- No. - Then no flowers.

It would've been worse for me

if instead of another wife, he'd have taken another cook.

I believe it! But we can't complain about Mrs. Gemma.

It's lovely to see them so happy!

True. They've been married 6 months and it's like the first day.

They get along so well that it's worrisome.

- There's just one worry. - What?

The nieces and nephews. Luckily they haven't come around.

And never will! They realized nothing was in for them.

- Mrs. Nella! How are you? Please. - Thank you.

- Go. Uncle Gennaro may look for you. - Don't worry about Mr. Piselli.

Mirella is enough in the store.

- Really? - Yes. While you...

You've had me wait since the wedding day.

You speak as if the two of us had married!

Wishful thinking! You and I together could've done things

that your aunt and uncle wouldn't dream of!

Come on... let me go.

Nella, come on!

This isn't courting a woman, it's assaulting her!

It's not good. I am very sentimental.

What about me? Aren't I being terribly sentimental?

- You rascal! - Is tomorrow at 5 alright?

- Just to take a walk. - Of course!

A walk as an aperitif is a good idea! Where will I wait for you?

- At the Cascine park. - Make sure to come.

Who do you think I am? When I say something...

- Let's say the day after tomorrow. - Why?

I must return to Auntie's tomorrow. I didn't find her at home today.

How nice! They are both lovely.

- Isn't that so? - Yes. Are they twins?

No. This one is bigger, but the price is the same.

This one is lovely, too. Right, dear?

- Yes, very. - Is the gentleman your husband?

No, he's my fiancé.

Then no cribs! Bring me the wedding certificate first.

Kids, get married! Hurry! What are you waiting for?

Marriage brings good luck, makes you younger, and it's fun!

Ma'am...

- Hello, friend! - Hello.

- A cigarette? - When you start off like this,

you want to find something out. - Right! You caught on!

- You know the lady who went inside? - Mrs. Torresi?

- Yes. - I sure do. She's the owner

of all the apartments of the first and second floor.

- Are they all rented? - Yes.

- Do they all pay rent on time? - Actually...

Puntaroli has never paid. If I were the landlord, I'd kick him out.

- Sir... - Good morning.

But it seems that Mrs. Torresi is good friends with him.

Who is this Puntaroli?

A no good guy. He bets on horses.

Thank you. I made the most artistic photo of my life today.

A real work of art!

Right. You haven't come around in a long time.

I'm glad to see you're looking so well.

What about the groom? I mean, is Uncle Gennaro fine?

Yes, thank you. He's in the store.

- Do you ever go there? - Sometimes, but Gennaro

doesn't like for me to go. I went to wait for him earlier,

but his niece and nephew came, so I preferred coming up.

- His niece and nephew? - The photographer and his sister.

The photographer... What an unpleasant man!

- But they are relatives. - Thank you, Auntie!

I mean my husband's relatives!

We can speak freely here. What's so important?

Celestino, remember to be tactful when you say it.

I'd forgotten. We must wait for the charge to end.

- We are... - What are we?

- Let's hear it! - We are cuckold!

Young man... Young man!

You prefer a chair over your head, or some ornament in your face?

Celestino! You should have had more tact.

Tact? I don't admit jokes on this topic!

I'm an idiot to have listened to you!

- Did you know my wife is fifty? - A cuckold inheritance!

- Son of a gun! - He doesn't know how to explain it.

These are delicate matters!

Celestino found out by chance...

- No, an investigation! - Well...

- He found out that Aunt Gemma... - Has a lover?

Probably since her late husband was alive.

This man is alive and is a widower.

- Who is he? - Goffredo Puntaroli.

Oh, really? You thought I'd fall for it?

Puntaroli doesn't exist. You made it up.

You weren't even capable of making up a possible name.

- Don't make me laugh! - This is what we made up

at the window of his home with Aunt Gemma.

We didn't make it up,

but Celestino should have said it in another way.

Next time I'll say it in French!

- A widower? - He's been one for 3 years.

She could have married him when her husband died,

but he wasn't well off, so she preferred marrying you.

He'll be her third husband, and we'll see him in this store!

Don't exaggerate! I may be cuckold, but I'm still alive!

I'm a living cuckold! But...

No! This is a photomontage.

Puntaroli doesn't exist. Here, here, here.

Not only does he exist, but he's bad off, and she helps him.

- Are you sure? - If you want to know more,

go to the races and ask for Goffredo Puntaroli. Everyone knows him.

The races? Goffredo Puntaroli?

Yes, I will surely go to the races.

If what you say is true, I'll go back to being a widower.

If it isn't, you'll come back here! You see that object?

My name will no longer be Gennaro Piselli,

if I don't bust it over your head! Understand?

- Excuse me, it's not you. - What?

- It's you, but it's not you. Sorry. - But...

One, two, three!

Gemma even. Laitou, two.

Widower, 2 and a half.

Diciassette, 4.

Jealous, 6. Mannarese, 3. Lodeon, 2.

Dear Puntaroli, will Jealous make it this time?

No! Gemma has already given me much satisfaction.

If it wasn't for her, I'd be starving by now.

- 50,000 even last week. - We hadn't seen her for a while.

She's of a certain age now, but she's still in great shape.

She's fond of me. With a little sugar, she does what I want.

Too bad that Widower bothers her.

Number 2, Carillon, disqualified.

We are always alone. My husband has no friends.

- A bit more? - Thank you.

Speaking of your husband...

I think our salesman pays a lot of attention to you.

He's a man! But at least he has the excuse of being young!

Your husband isn't that old!

I didn't mean Oscar!

Who did you mean?

Oh, nothing. But we wives are so gullible!

The store salesgirl is very pretty, isn't she?

Nella, what are you getting at?

If you know something, speak clearly!

I know nothing, but people talk.

- I just stretched my ear out. - Oh! What do people say?

They say many things! One mustn't believe everything.

But ever since I realized Uncle Gennaro likes skirts,

I was immediately worried about you.

- People talk about Mirella? - The fact that Uncle Gennaro

doesn't want you to go to the store is enough. And then...

- What? - Nothing.

Besides Mirella, does Gennaro have other women?

I won't speak. I'm not here to put your husband on trial.

Right. It's what people say.

But you... Do people know how old Uncle Gennaro is?

It's when one is ripe, that he enjoys unripe fruit the most.

What are you saying, my child?

It may have been like that in the past, but now...

he's not a big eater!

Who isn't hungry at home means he eats elsewhere.

- And that's not all. - What else is there?

It seems that things aren't going well in the store.

- People say that, too? - If they were going well,

why would he have married for convenience's sake?

Dear Aunt Gemma!

How's it going? Fine, huh?

You look younger.

- You're good at paying compliments! - Uncle Gennaro looks good, too.

- Did you see him? - We came up together.

- Where is he? - With the store salesgirl.

She accompanied him here.

Come, come.

Wait for me here. I'll be right back.

- Good evening, ma'am. - Good evening.

Here.

- Why did she come? - For the tax file.

I'll do it! I asked for an appeal. I hope they accept.

Business is a bit slow...

- Isn't business going well? - It depends on the season.

- This is a dead season. - But it'll pick up now.

- What do you mean? - Let's put it this way...

- Let's put it this way. - Goodbye. I'm going.

Goodbye, dear Aunt Gemma. I'll be back soon.

I will be very pleased!

Uncle Gennaro, goodbye.

Why do you want to leave? Stay a bit longer.

Come. Come with me.

- Thank you, Uncle. - Then I can tell you

about my speech today. - No! Please be quiet.

Excuse me, dear niece,

but I must say that you look wonderful.

Yes, yes! My director says the same thing.

Look! A button is falling.

- I don't think so. - Believe me. Here it is.

- Go and ask Adele to sew it. - Sure. Excuse me.

Go on.

Excuse me, dear.

Adele, remember not to overcook the spaghetti.

- I hate overcooked pasta. - I know.

Would you mind sewing this button for me?

- Right now? - Yes, my wife sent me here.

I wasn't too fortunate.

I needed a different sort of husband.

- Well, I can't complain. - About Auntie?

About her niece.

I realized immediately that you were a dangerous man.

I am worse than an intersection without a traffic light.

Your look is so piercing!

A look that is like a dagger.

- You know about the affair, too? - What affair?

- The Puntaroli affair. - It is so evident!

- I won't allow it. - Why?

A man should be proud of it.

I'm not like your husband! I will take revenge!

I am a good man...

but at a certain point, I go blind.

Even when I should see, I go blind.

I've always said that men of a certain age

are much more interesting than young ones.

Of course! And young women

are much more interesting than women of a certain age!

- Don't squeeze so tightly! - I'm not touching you.

- What is going on? - Nothing, dear Auntie.

Uncle Gennaro fastened my necklace, and he hurt me a bit.

- Why are you still here? - One of the buttons

had come off hubby's jacket. - It's very late now.

- Bye, Uncle Gennaro. - Goodbye.

- Oscar! What were you doing? - Helping Adele set the table,

to return the favor. - Bye, Auntie.

- I'll accompany you. - Goodbye, Auntie.

Goodbye.

- Shall we go to dinner? - It's early.

- I'm not hungry tonight. - Me, either,

but you invited Pallanti. - I don't give a darn about him!

I don't either! He's your friend, isn't he?

Yes, but recently he is becoming too friendly with you.

What? You raise your voice to avoid me raising mine!

- Don't make me speak! - No, speak up!

You must speak, because I'll speak after you!

Stop it! Your intentions are very clear.

You want to poison my existence to send me where we first met.

No, dear! I'm the one to say that.

But you are wrong, because I am in perfect health.

I am the picture of health! In perfect shape!

And I want to live until I'm 80 years old!

But dear, dearest,

you've already reached 80!

You're wrong, because I feel like I'm 20!

Isn't that something? I'm going to nursery school tomorrow.

Get my school frock and lunchbox ready.

I'm as hungry as a wolf who hasn't eaten in six months.

You could've left some for Pallanti. You invited him to dinner.

Pallanti isn't eating tonight. He's on a diet.

- The pig is getting fat. - Gennaro.

I asked for spaghetti with butter and cheese. I prefer it.

May I have the cheese, please?

Enough! No more eating!

Adele, take everything away!

Adele, am I speaking Turkish? Take it all away!

What did Adele do? She knows I like my coffee sweet.

Yes, she should know. Everyone knows

that you like sugar. - What's wrong with that?

- Everything! - What do you mean?

Who leaves his dead wife for a live one

knows what he leaves, but not what he finds.

Here I am. This tiring chore was an extra.

We spent almost 6,000 liras. Here's the change.

- Let's hope it serves a purpose. - It certainly does!

I'll bet that, with the lunch I'm preparing,

they'll make peace and won't ever argue again.

I hope so, because we can't go on like this.

You're telling me! Since those two argued,

they never invited me to eat.

- Why should I pay for it? - They don't eat, either.

I organized this lunch for their wedding anniversary.

I bought everything Gennaro likes.

Look at what a nice chicken. He loves it.

- You don't? - Me too.

But he likes it, too. Know how I'll cook it?

Lovely!

- We're ready. I'll go out there. - Go on. They're at the table.

Yes. Take the plates right away.

I'll go out there. It's lovely!

Here I am. Dear Gennaro, ma'am, my respects.

My respects, ma'am.

On the occasion of your first wedding anniversary,

I feel it is my duty to offer you, along with my best wishes,

this modest lunch.

Pasquale, if I'm not mistaken, the house is mine,

and so was the money for the food. What did you offer?

Well, the thought is mine. There are the flowers, too.

- You didn't go out of your way! - How funny!

Anyway, today should be a wonderful day.

Gennaro, look at what your friend Pasquale prepared for you.

- Hello? - This is Puntaroli.

I wanted to talk to Mrs. Piselli.

There is no Mrs. Piselli here. She is dead.

The second one is dead, too. I am an orphan.

Don't get angry. It's an interference. Come here.

Wait and see what Adele brings to the table!

- Who was it? - Enough! This has got to end!

Do me the favor of telling that man to stop calling!

- Who is that? - You know!

He once had the decency of hanging up when he heard my voice.

But not anymore. He asked to speak to Mrs. Gemma!

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm talking about Mr. Punter.

- I've never heard of him. - Never?

You haven't? And who is this?

But that's Puntaroli!

- Right! And you know him! - Yes, a friend of poor Paolo's.

Poor Paolo! Poor Paolo! The man you wanted to join!

Look who is talking! The grief-stricken widower!

Let's not change the subject.

I'd like to know what you did with this Mr. Punter!

I said his name is Puntaroli!

Puntaroli, Punter, it makes no difference!

- I want to know everything! - I want to know about your women!

Even at home with my niece, in my presence.

I should've gone to the park to fasten your niece's necklace?

- Yeah, my niece's necklace! - Let's not mention your niece...

- Why? - Let's not mention her.

She isn't worse than the others you flirt with.

- I don't flirt with others! - Oh, no?

I never fastened anyone's necklace!

Poor things! All disinterested virgins!

- That's why business is lousy! - What's business have to do with it?

- It does! - Who are these women?

- You know. - No, you know everything!

Of course! I see the postcards that arrive home every day.

Signed by different women with hugs, greetings, kisses...

A woman named Carla sent you Easter greetings.

- And Easter is 11 days away! - Carla? I don't know her.

You're capable of denying even what you do with Mirella, huh?

- It's different with her. - Different?

- Want to know what I do with her? - Naturally!

- I won't tell you. - Tell me!

- I do accounting with her. - You'll do accounting with me now!

Very well. That way I'll save on Mirella's salary.

And then... Enough! Understand?

- You should justify yourself! - It's useless that you yell!

I know your intentions. You want me to die.

You're wrong! I won't give you that satisfaction!

You're wrong if you think you'll put Puntaroli in third place!

I admit this Puntaroli is certainly younger, but I am more robust.

Hello? The lady isn't here. Neither am I.

No one is here. Don't ever call again. Enough!

I think some scoundrel is involved in this.

How can it be that every day a postcard or phone call arrives?

No, Gennaro has become too jealous.

- He even suspects me. - What a shame!

I've become fond of Mrs. Gemma. I'm sorry to see her like this.

- Please, give me a hand. - What are you doing?

My window will be the loveliest for this years' chariot fireworks.

Easter is 10 days away.

I know, but I had better slowly get ready.

Easter is the biggest feast of the year.

- Sure. Your name is Pasqualino! - Not only for that.

It gives me chance to rent the window to foreigners.

- Pasquale! - Gennaro.

What are you doing here?

- I came to... - To do what? Speak up.

I brought Mr. Pallanti's clean laundry.

You do home delivery?

I'm going downstairs. Goodbye.

Pasquale, listen.

Pasquale, are you really my friend?

You're more my friend than my wife's, right?

Don't start that again, or...

Or you won't come to my home again to wash your laundry!

No, but I don't see how you can suspect your wife,

and the fact that you suspect me, your best friend for 20 years,

humiliates and offends me.

Don't make that face. You can't be offended.

- It's not convenient for you. - Why not?

It's not convenient for you to break your friendship with me.

- I don't think that. - Pasquale!

- But don't treat me badly. - You're right.

Pasquale, take a good look at me.

I am no longer Gennaro Piselli.

- What? - Gennaro Piselli... was.

- What? - I am the Moor.

- The Moor? - The Moor of Venice. Othello.

Othello. I am jealous!

- I am jealous! - Don't do this.

Gennaro, you scare me.

Nothing will happen to you.

Othello kills her, not him. I won't hurt you.

You're starting again?

No, I trust you.

But I don't trust Desdemona!

- I have evidence. - The handkerchief?

Not the handkerchief!

- Did you buy that stuff? - Yes, it's over there.

Open it. I can't do it.

These are the instructions.

- It's lovely! - What is it?

- A sphygmomanometer. - What?

Sphygmomanometer.

- What's it for? - Measuring blood pressure.

- Is yours high? - No.

- Low? - No.

- Well? - High and low. It alternates.

When it goes up, I feel my temples thumping.

When it goes down, I'm exhausted.

- Gennaro, you're scaring me. - What were you doing?

I was working at the window for the chariot fireworks feast.

I earn money by renting seats behind it.

3,000 liras a person. I earn something extra.

- In how many days? - Easter is in 10 days.

- Who knows if I'll get there! - Don't say that, please.

- Who knows if I'll get there! - Don't say that, Gennaro.

My life is all here, it's all in here.

In the sphygmomanometer.

Adele wants to know what you'd like to eat.

Don Gennaro.

- What would you like? - If you mean dinner,

ask Pasquale. We cook for him in this home.

- By the way, where is he? - In the kitchen.

Of course he's there!

Have him come here.

Oh, God! I can't make it!

- Did you call for me? - Pasquale.

- Are you really my friend? - Are you starting again?

If I told you a secret, would you keep it?

You know I always like keeping your things!

Yes, I do! Swear.

- I swear on my honor. - I don't believe it.

- You don't? - No.

You should swear on something more serious, more sacred.

- On what can I swear? - For example...

- On your appetite. - I swear on my appetite.

- Pasquale. - Gennaro.

I measured my blood pressure. 5,000. Is that possible?

5,000?

That's the price tag. 5,000 liras.

- I feel sick. - Shall I call your wife?

I begged you. The secret...

You don't want your wife to know you're sick?

No. No! I won't give her that satisfaction.

She can't wait to be a widow again.

She'll be one, because she feels great and I'm dying.

Don't exaggerate! It must be the flu.

It's not the flu! When the heart is exhausted,

one dies.

Too bad it's right before Easter eve.

Easter is the resurrection, and I am dying!

I can't go on like this.

I can't stand sitting down. I have to get up.

I must loosen up my legs because I feel good!

I have to move, I'm full of life. I want to horseback ride.

Mr. Pallanti... I have to tell you something.

I don't feel well at all.

Actually, I feel like I'm dying.

- What do you feel? - High fever, and am aching all over.

Don't tell Gennaro anything. Will you swear it?

May I never more be invited here if I don't!

- Did you see how good he feels? - Oh, sure!

He feels full of life.

I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing I am ill!

I'll like to see the doctor.

Of course. In your state...

But I don't want Gennaro to know. I have an idea.

- You get sick, please. - Me?

Yes. Tell Gennaro that you feel ill and he'll call the doctor.

When he comes up to you, I'll come to be examined.

- Do you mind? - I mind seeing you like this.

My heart... I sense that it is abandoning me.

- From one moment to the next. - Be strong!

I have to tell Adele to get dinner ready

or we'll eat at midnight.

I had a magnificent idea.

- What? - Extraordinary.

- You are ill. - It's a fixation!

You are ill, and have serious symptoms.

You can't kid around with health. You must go to bed!

- I'm fine. There's just one thing. - I know, you're hungry!

That has nothing to do with it. You've something serious.

I am your friend. I'll call a doctor right now.

When he comes, I'll accompany him to you

and have him examine me in your place.

- Great idea! - I'll call the doctor now.

- Yes. - Pasquale...

- You won't tell Gemma, will you? - I'll be a silent tomb!

Don't talk about tombs, please!

Hello? This is Gennaro Piselli.

I'd like to talk to Doctor Sansone.

Really? What?

- I am so sorry! - What happened?

- Sansone died. - The doctor?

Hello? Can you send his substitute?

Yes. Yes. Gennaro Piselli.

- So he's sick? - Not him, me!

- You? - Yes.

Alright. Piazza del Duomo. He'll come right away? Thanks.

- I'm glad. He's coming right now. - The doctor is coming.

I'll go get in bed.

- Is it true that you're sick? - Very sick.

- I called the doctor. - Is he coming right away?

- What is wrong with you? - I don't know myself.

I do!

A general sensation of illness.

- The symptoms my poor wife had. - He was fine just a little while ago.

An illness doesn't ask permission to the mayor.

- Tragedies happen unexpectedly. - Go to bed.

- I'll accompany you. - No! I'll accompany him!

If he faints, he needs someone who can hold him.

I will accompany him. Come.

She'll accompany me. Thank you.

- I'll come visit you. - No! I'll come! Not you.

- Make up your minds. I'll go to bed. - Go. I'll be right there.

Thank you, Adele.

Why don't you want me to go upstairs?

If the doctor should announce a catastrophe, a tragedy,

I am a man, and can hold the blow. - It isn't that serious!

- It's surely the flu. - The flu!

The flu is awful this year, lethal. Many deaths.

Especially those with a weak heart.

Yes! If the heart doesn't hold up...

It's exactly what happened to Mrs. Pacchioni's husband.

Heart failure.

The florist's husband died for the same reason.

Mrs. Antonietta's husband also.

Why does this flu only take it out on husbands?

A little comprehension! There are wives, too!

They made me swear not to say anything,

but in facing this situation, I decided to talk to Adele.

I felt I should inform both of you.

- We should advise the relatives. - Yes.

They scolded me for not having said anything about the wedding.

Pallanti, advise the relatives. I'm going up with Adele.

Yes. Adele, do you have any taxi money?

A thousand liras is enough.

- I'll be right back. - Yes.

- Listen... - Listen...

What is it? Do you feel ill?

- Do you feel ill, too? - Don't mention it!

If you could feel... Ouch!

I've a pain here that goes around the whole circumference.

It stays here a couple of hours,

and then picks up again and returns to the starting point.

I didn't want to tell you, but...

Pallanti is fine. I asked him to have the doctor come examine me.

Actually, I thought it was my idea!

My God! What have we come to?

We went through some infernal months.

We must thank our dear nephews and nieces!

How could you believe that I...

And how could you believe that I...

I heard a cry! All those cards arrived.

I saw the photos and there were the phone calls.

I don't care anymore. I feel so terrible.

Right.

If we don't tell each other everything now that the end is near,

when will we ever do it? Gemma, believe me,

I'm not the Casanova they wanted you to believe.

I never knew all those women who wrote to me.

To be truthful, I don't think I ever believed it.

I noticed that the postcards had the same handwriting.

Since we're revealing our secrets...

- As for that Punter... - No, dear.

- I wasn't convinced. - Puntaroli!

Puntaroli, Punter, whatever.

But you liked the sugar?

So what? Even horses like sugar.

And the phone calls?

Someone who doesn't like us very much made them!

Celestino, my nephew.

- Nella, my niece. - You're right!

- The heirs! - Scoundrels!

- They ruined our existence. - It's not enough to be adults.

Before getting married, we were to ask the heirs' consent.

They wouldn't have given it to us!

When relatives are rich and adults like us,

they've only one duty in life: dies as soon as possible

Die?

Now that everything could be as beautiful as it was,

we should leave each other?

During Easter.

I would be sorry not to hear the bells anymore.

No, my dear, you must not worry.

Only husbands die.

- No, no! - Yes!

I feel sick. What would I do in the world by myself?

- I prefer dying with you. - You're right.

We met up there, and it's right that we return there together.

Just a moment! If I go up there, they'll put me next to her.

I was with her 24 years, but very little with you.

- I was with Paolo 21 years. - You see?

I have an idea.

What if we have them put to one side,

and us, to another side? - They don't even know each other!

With time, they could become friends.

- I know how these things end up. - Good evening.

What are you doing here? Did you already close the store?

- Who called you? - I did!

The store! The store!

They're on their deathbed and are thinking of the store.

Adele! We don't feel very good,

but it doesn't mean we'll die! - Go open.

I already feel better. Less tired, a lighter head.

What a coincidence! I feel better too.

The doctor is here. Shall I send him to Mr. Pallanti?

- No, have him come in. - Good evening, Mr. Piselli.

Good evening, Doctor. How's it going?

So-so. No one feels too good in this season.

You have a headache? Did you take an aspirin?

- Hey, I'm the doctor! - It's true. How stupid of me!

- My wife and I are sick. - You are remarried?

- Yes. - Congratulations!

I cured the other wife, poor thing.

- Let's change the subject. - Is it true that the flu

this year is terrible? - I've only have 3 deaths until now.

- You have few patients! - Doctor, come with me.

Adele! Adele!

- You're already back. - Yes, just now.

What's all this about? You said they were dying. Instead...

You're telling me? They talked about death.

- They should know! - Incredible!

- Do you mind that they feel well? - What did you do?

- I spent 900 liras on taxis. - Did you find them?

The door was closed at the Caporali home,

so I left a note in their mailbox.

As for Celestino, I left a message at the photo studio,

but he won't know anything until tomorrow morning.

You have two hearts of steel, dear Mr. Piselli.

Of course, I'm made of steel!

Bronze lungs, steel heart, leaden feet and two gold teeth.

Don't worry about your 150 pressure. It's nothing at your age.

As long as it stays like this! I'm afraid it'll increase.

Everything is increasing nowadays!

Do as I said: aspirin, hot milk,

and tomorrow morning the fever will be gone.

- Thank you. - Thank you, Doctor. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Gennaro, I was very worried.

So worried that you made yourself a salami sandwich!

- I'm glad you two feel better. - It's not because of the doctor.

- We'd begun feeling better. - The conversation we had

relieved us in spirit and body. - The cause of our ailments

are our dear nephews and nieces.

So as of today, if they come to see us, we're not here.

Very well! Let's have some warm milk and go right to bed.

We are not in danger, but we do have the flu.

- Are you transfixed? - Gennaro, what happened is...

- There's no joking about death. - Who's joking about it?

I'm not. I've nothing to do with it! And I find it unpleasant.

We thought you were very sick,

and advised your nephews and nieces.

Pasquale! If you cause such trouble again,

I'll cut off your room and board!

There's no joking about death. Especially with nieces and nephews.

You said you had one foot in the grave.

One foot, but not two!

- I thought you'd add the other one. - No! I removed the first one.

Now work it out yourselves. We're going to bed.

- Are the nieces and nephews coming? - Tomorrow morning, I think.

- What should we tell them? - The funerals were already held.

- Shall we go, dear? Good night. - Let's go. Good night.

I want to show you something.

You can see it very well. The others must see, too!

Come up here. You'll see very well.

Mister! Move over and have the lady sit.

There! Don't be afraid! It's solid.

It won't fall. An engineer built it.

Ladies and gentlemen, you paid, so have fun.

Look at what a lovely feast!

Gennaro, come!

- Hurry, it's almost noon. - Already noon?

- What a long sleep! - The doctor was right.

The doctor? We were never ill.

Never! Always felt good!

Mergellina!

Paradise of lovers.

- What'll Mr. and Mrs. Piselli say? - Nothing.

I am so happy that you came up.

I was sorry to be alone when the nieces and nephew came.

The front door was closed. Uncle Gennaro left!

- We hit the jackpot! - Refrain yourself, Celestino!

There's time to laugh later.

Here's the procession!

- It must be them. - Don't worry. I'll receive them.

Poor Auntie! She must have already left.

A woman of high virtue, dedicated to the family, faithful wife.

- She had two husbands! - A doubly faithful wife.

The girl who fries must be there, too.

Yes, I smell fried food.

Mixed fried food. The old lady is there, my sister-in-law.

- She must be Nella. - With that sort of...

let's say... husband!

- Who are these people? - I'm Celestino's mother!

- I am his fiancée. - We know each other.

We are the closest relatives.

You? I am the real niece, and won't let you invade the field.

It's interesting to hear what they say, thinking we're dead.

Listen to your niece!

- We don't agree! - I don't want arguments.

- What belongs to Auntie is mine. - The rest goes to my children.

Enough, Mom! It's not the moment to think about such things.

- Poor thing. As a relative... - She is very nice.

She seems like a stranger!

It's Adele.

They want to see you two.

- What should I do? - We must please them.

- How? - It's our duty to please them.

- What do you want to do? - Let me handle it.

Have them come in a minute. Come with me.

What if some mishap has been organized...

- What mishap? - For someone like you,

it doesn't take much to deceive that senile uncle of mine.

- Don't you hear? - He doesn't hear or see!

Stop, or I don't know what'll happen! Say something!

- Sir, you're exaggerating. - I'm not!

Oh, right...

So, can we see the deceased?

Of course. They're in there waiting.

Finally you're dead!

You were ugly alive, but are disgusting now!

His death, our wedding!

No more excuses, right, dear?

- We can get married. - Of course!

I am so happy that I can't believe they are dead.

What? Can't you smell how Uncle Gennaro already stinks?

Let's leave because he upsets me even as a dead man.

We must take care of the funeral, the coffins.

- They cost a lot. - Let's buy first quality ones.

- No, second. - Third is even too much!

- Are you crazy? - Me?

What're you doing? Don't you know that the dead have contractions?

Contractions? He almost bit it off!

He was mean when alive, and even worse when dead!

I am astonished. An engineer built it, I swear.

An engineer built it...

They were so scared! So were we.

What happened? Did everything collapse? Pasquale!

First they are corpses, then they no longer are. These are pranks!

Here it is!

This year the dove went well.

All's well that ends well.

That saying is true: "God protect me from friends,

I'll protect myself from relatives."

- No, from enemies! - Well?

Aren't relatives enemies?

Listen...