Original subtitles

What are you doing?

Snapchatting while I wake up.

Do you think you should be studying or something?

It's the weekend. Why would I be studying?

Well, I mean, maybe get a little extra time cracking the books. I don't need

My grades are perfectly fine.

Yeah, I know, because you're a smart one. That's why Mom and Dad sent you to

college and I got to work.

Yeah, no shit.

So, your grades are fine? Yeah.

They should be perfectly fine.

Well, as you know, I only have a high school education.

Uh -huh. So could you explain the term academic suspension to me?

Use small words because I'm pretty fucking stupid.

Wow.

You should not be getting into my mail. That's actually a federal offense.

It's sent to this address. I live here.

Sent to this address, but is it addressed specifically to you? It

Resnick. You're right. You're right. It was addressed to Mom and Dad because

they were paying for the tuition.

So I guess Mom and Dad will publish me in a second. So I should go ahead and

give this to Dad?

No, you shouldn't.

Are you sure? It feels like the right thing to do.

But I mean, I haven't taken, like, ethics classes. You don't know what the

thing to do is.

You're not that bright.

So what should I do?

You should tear that up.

Put it in the shredder.

I'm not good at thinking, but I might have to think about that.

No. So let me ask you, what have you been doing in college all this time?

I've been doing my classes.

You've been doing your classes, or you've been doing fat boys?

Maybe both.

Yeah. See, Mom and Dad never caught on to the fact that you're the biggest snob

in school.

You know,

I don't even know exactly what you are.

I think I want to assume you really went to college.

Like, what do you get?

Drink, do some tags, dance around naked?

Is that what happens in college?

Maybe.

Some nights.

Why don't you show me?

Why would I fucking show you, pervert?

You're my brother.

That's not right.

I ain't learning right from wrong.

So this probably is, if I can calculate, this is the you -do -what -I -fucking

-tell -you -to.

Fucking jerk.

I am.

So, uh, you stand up.

Take a shine.

In your short little fucking dress that you walk around in.

Happy?

At least all the beer you've been drinking hasn't made you fat.

I mean, I think maybe you might want to take, like, some fitness classes, but

you still look all right.

I look perfectly fine, and I don't think I need to take any fitness classes.

Thank you very much. Well, maybe you'd at least be able to get an A in one of

those.

So, is this just, you just do underwear? Because I'm pretty sure

from what I've seen in those movies about people tossing girl -shaped boobs.

No. No. Fuck no.

You're not seeing my fucking tits.

Well, I mean, I've seen them. You just didn't know.

I just think they're a fun few.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I don't know. Get a degree and figure it out.

So, just to recap, what does this mean again?

That needs to be shredded.

That needs to be fucking shredded.

I think it means I get to see... Fucking...

Okay, what the fuck ever. But you better fucking shred that.

Understood?

Not that many people.

God.

No,

you said you wanted to look.

Are you sensitive?

A little, yeah.

What does that mean you're pregnant?

I'm not.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm fucking sure I'm not pregnant.

I would know better.

I know my body better than that.

Well, I'm looking forward to knowing your body better than that too.

So, about your penis.

No. No.

Are you fucking kidding me?

You're not gonna see anymore.

This is enough.

Don't be shy.

Don't strut it like you do at school.

Different. How many walks of shame have you done?

That's none of your fucking business.

Yeah. I'm surprised you're not like a common hangman. Well,

you use those at least, right?

Maybe.

You didn't dare back me?

God, you dirty slut.

That's good to know.

Why is that good to know?

So, um...

Move those hands.

Turn around.

So maybe if you like, learn how to just take care of yourself. I

do take care of myself.

Do you?

I think so.

Maybe you're not doing it right.

I'm sure I'm doing it right.

You know, I'm not really sure your judgment can be trusted.

Please stop waving that in my fucking face.

Oh, bullshit.

You don't have any degrees.

Why don't you go and have a seat?

Okay.

Now, since you're like one more bad grade away from being like a stripper.

Yeah. Maybe a camera girl.

Why don't you give me a little shout?

Give you a little show?

Yeah, give me a nice little hustle strut.

No. No.

I can't do that. This is fucking weird.

You're a fucking pervert.

Yeah, that's why you, like, love to walk around in little dresses when it's just

me and you home.

And, like, ooh, even though I was home, you're laying out top of us by the pool.

Dude. You've been kind of fucking asking this for, like, the last two years.

No, I haven't.

Sit back.

I'm looking for a naked librarian.

Take your glasses off, because you're not wearing any work at strip club.

Shut the fuck up, you asshole.

I just want to touch it a little bit.

No.

What pushing this so far?

We're going a little further.

Go ahead.

How much further?

God,

this is so wrong.

This is not fun.

Can I stop yet?

good job at it yet.

Dude, this is awkward.

It's alright.

Just pretend I'm like, I don't know, half the football team or something.

Yeah.

Is that enough?

I don't think so.

Just do it like you really do it.

I'm trying. It's kind of hard with you watching.

This is pretty awkward. I don't see how you can be an OSU program.

pervert for being into it. What does that make you?

He totally just came right in front of me.

It's okay.

We both know you're just a bunch of hormones and you've always been a son.

I don't actually mind.

Because I think that means that you're probably going to want to lose control

you just want to see a dick.

I don't think I'm that wild.

I'm not that wild.

Well, it's not that you're wild, but I mean, maybe you just... Just what?

Maybe you just can't resist a dick.

I can resist.

Really?

Oh, just jerk it for me.

Really?

That good?

Happy about that? I think you can do better.

You should just be happier getting it.

Put some spit on it or something.

Dude, you're selfish.

Happy?

I think you'll know what happens when I'm happy. I'm sure you learned that in

college.

Well, it's already hard, so you're already happy.

You're not really that good with your hands, are you?

I'm perfectly fine with my hands. I just don't care how much you get pleased.

But you're going to be doing this like all day.

Well, you know what? I have a better idea.

Instead of like running your mouth, why don't you use your mouth?

Really?

Really, dude?

Or you could be fucking homeless when mom and dad kick you out

That's

why you don't use your hands

You want me to fuck you, don't you?

No.

No? No.

All right, I'll make you a deal.

If your pussy's not super wet right now, then I'll leave you alone.

But if it is, then you're exactly the kind of slut. Mm -hmm.

Stick it right in there.

Exactly the kind of slut.

Oh my god!

What the fuck have you learned in college?

Are you fucking kidding me? Why the fuck would you come in my mouth?

Well, I'm not gonna come in your pussy.

You're probably not even on fucking birth control.

Fucking asshole.

Well, why don't you go study?

Get those grades up.

Okay? Okay.

You better shred that fucking paper.

Mm -hmm.

We'll see what the next letter from college says.