Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,720
Manny?
2
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,440
Hm?
3
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,160
(SIGHS) Manny!
4
00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,160
Er, j...
5
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,000
What time is it? Can we close up yet?
6
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:56,040
Hey, you're still open.
It's Friday night.
7
00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,040
Friday night?!
8
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,040
We should have been closed
hours ago!
9
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,440
Time to get out of
these work clothes.
10
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,440
Look, Bernard. Look at my new phone.
11
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:13,840
It's got Web access, it's got
a camera, it can do everything.
12
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,840
Argh! Can it stop
boring conversations?
13
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:18,360
None of them can do that.
14
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:18,360
Mine can. Shut up about your phone.
15
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:23,240
I think tonight's gonna be
something special.
16
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:27,480
We should open the best bottle
we've got.
17
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,480
Not the £4.49!
18
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,480
Tonight's the night.
19
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:33,000
This is the stuff
Napoleon would've drunk
20
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:37,920
if he'd been a bit strapped
and couldn't get anything else.
21
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,000
Mm, mm... audacious.
22
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,680
Mm. Look at the robe on that.
23
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,640
Mm. (SNIFFS) Ah, strawberry notes.
24
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,600
I'm getting caramel, bitumen...
25
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:54,040
(SNORTS)
I'm getting red wine up my nose!
26
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,720
You notice anything different
about me?
27
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,480
You've turned into a heron.
28
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,800
No.
29
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,440
Wait, I've got it -
your ears are bigger.
30
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,680
My hair! I got it done.
Aren't I divine?
31
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:17,560
Don't you think I'm more me
than I've ever been?
32
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:24,480
I can't believe you didn't notice.
33
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:24,480
Men have a different way of noticing
hair and appearance - not noticing.
34
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:31,800
Gianni, my stylist, is amazing.
He only charged 85 quid.
35
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:31,800
My stylist is free.
He's called Manniccio.
36
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:35,200
I do it with a bread knife.
Zip, zip, zip!
37
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:39,440
I'm feeling top-heavy, actually.
38
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:39,440
Ah!
39
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:42,000
Mm... Yesss.
40
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,000
Ah.
41
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,520
Mm. (GROWLS)
42
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,560
Why am I here
wasting my hair on your eyes?
43
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:05,600
I should be somewhere
getting slavishly admired.
44
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,600
Ah, but you will, my friend
45
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:11,360
because tonight, we go out!
46
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:11,360
Why?
47
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:11,360
Because it's Fri-i-iday night!
48
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:16,680
It will be Friday night next week
and every week until we're dead.
49
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:23,240
Even then, the whole rotten business
will go on and on and on.
50
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:23,240
It's Friday now, we're alive.
51
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:28,440
We should go out.
52
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:28,440
What are the options?
53
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,440
Erm, cinema.
54
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:33,920
No smoking.
55
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:33,920
Bowling.
56
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,920
Can't do the shoe thing.
57
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,920
Er, theatre.
58
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,120
(ALL LAUGH)
59
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:47,240
What about a restaurant?
We could try Yo! Liver.
60
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:52,920
I know of a party, actually.
61
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,920
Party? What party?
62
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,920
Friends of mine, John and Anne.
63
00:03:53,120 --> 00:04:00,160
What's the place like?
64
00:03:54,480 --> 00:04:00,160
Great big kitchen-slash-living room.
Friendly place.
65
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:00,160
Right, right.
66
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,560
So, it's a fridge-centred,
25 to 40s party,
67
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:07,880
chilli-shaped fairy lights,
bottled beer in the bath.
68
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:13,600
Yuppies, dinkies and yummies. Lively
fun but it won't get out of hand.
69
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,160
My hair says "Go, baby!"
70
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:23,400
Sounds awful. How far is it?
71
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:23,400
Two minutes.
72
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:23,400
That's too far.
We've got everything we need here.
73
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,520
That means it's just us three again.
74
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,440
We could sit in the garden.
75
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:35,600
BOTH: Garden?!
76
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:35,600
Yeah, it's always been there,
I'm sure it's still there.
77
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,600
Come on.
78
00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:02,600
Right, you don't want to sit
in the garden. It's just us three,
79
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,120
we'll just have
a nice glass of wine, OK?
80
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,240
There's more here somewhere.
81
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,400
Oh, no. No, there isn't, Bernard.
82
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,480
Friday night, no booze.
83
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,920
Crisis - what can we do?
84
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:23,240
I know, we'll go to the party!
That's what we'll do!
85
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:27,600
I am picking up a certain keenness
about this party.
86
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:32,400
There wouldn't be another reason
to go, would there?
87
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,400
Absolutely not.
88
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:36,160
Except there is a... girl.
89
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:36,160
A what?!
90
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:39,520
Girl. She's gonna be there.
91
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:45,400
I met her once
and I was hoping to meet her again.
92
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,400
We don't have to wait for Bernard.
93
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,840
No, it has to be all three!
94
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:53,560
If I go with you and get talking to
her, you'll be hovering, hovering,
95
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:59,960
and the girl gets awkward, awkward
cos she thinks you and I
are a thing, thing, thing.
96
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:04,200
But all of us go, I catch her eye,
natural, natural.
97
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:11,600
We need Bernard to get to my person.
98
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:11,600
You know I don't approve of you
seeing other girls.
99
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,840
Who is she anyway,
this so-called person?
100
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:19,840
Rowena. She's a friend of Anne's.
101
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,840
Oh! I see.
102
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,840
Ro-weena!
103
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:25,360
Row-weee-na!
104
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,240
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
105
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:34,640
What am I supposed to do,
when you do the underpants
charleston with this tart?
106
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:39,320
Why are you so angry?
107
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:39,320
I can't help being angry
when I'm furious!
108
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:45,920
It's no big deal.
109
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:45,920
Before you move to the country
to raise your bearded freak circus,
110
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:52,040
tell me about her.
What are her prospects?
111
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:52,040
She's nice.
112
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,040
She's nice?
113
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:55,360
Don't make me get sick
into my own scorn.
114
00:06:55,360 --> 00:07:01,240
Does she play the viola?
Does she embroider?
Is she kind to the servants?
115
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:09,040
I don't know. I like her and there's
a good chance she likes me.
116
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:09,040
Well, we are going to this party
117
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:13,040
cos I'm trying to picture this girl
who likes you
118
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,320
and all I can see is you in a dress.
119
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:21,160
Come on, come on!
120
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:21,160
OK, let's go! >
121
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,160
Wait, we can't go yet!
122
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:24,120
BOTH: Why?
123
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,120
I need my kit.
124
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,800
Kazoo... snuff...
125
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,960
..thimbles... amulet...
126
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,080
..swabs... plums...
127
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:39,600
Things to accidentally leave behind,
near Rowena,
128
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:46,920
so she finds them
and I have an excuse to ring her.
129
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:46,920
Can't you ring and say
"I'd like to see you again?"
130
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,120
Don't be stupid!
131
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,320
I don't want her to think I'm gay.
132
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,920
Can we go now?
133
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,920
All set. Let's parrr...
134
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:02,840
Don't you dare use the word party
as a verb in this shop!
135
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:09,040
Let's p... potter along,
136
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,040
in order to attend the party!
137
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:18,480
Fran, get the wine!
138
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:18,480
Sure!
139
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:18,480
Lies! Subterfuge!
Shit and corruption!
140
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:32,560
< (BERNARD, MANNY AND FRAN
SING DRUNKENLY)
141
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,560
CRASH
142
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,560
< Oi, you lot, be quiet!
143
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,560
< ALL: Shut up!
144
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,640
< We live here.
145
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,640
< No, here. You live here.
146
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:44,920
< The key...
the key won't go in the thing!
147
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:44,920
< Bernard, you're using your finger.
148
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,920
< Oh, yeah.
149
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,640
My hair. Is my hair still good?
150
00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,040
Yeah, you're a vision.
151
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,080
See? I told you about hair power.
152
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:06,640
Three blokes put their phone numbers
into my new phone.
153
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:08,640
Look...
154
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,080
..I'm dancing.
155
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,680
Bernard, why aren't you dancing?
156
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:21,440
There's no music.
157
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,440
Well, sing us a song, then.
You're Irish.
158
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:25,440
That's what the Irish do
after a drink, isn't it?
159
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,000
Wha' would I sing?
160
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:32,560
Something about cliffs
and a girl with golden black hair
161
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:37,840
and the English all being bad.
162
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,840
Sing it yourself.
163
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,840
Fine.
164
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:42,560
# Oh, Eamon, Donnie, dear
165
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:46,280
# I miss the Galway Bay
166
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,280
# TIN WHISTLE
167
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:50,680
# But I'll see it afore I die
168
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:54,160
# WILD IMPROV ON TIN WHISTLE
169
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,160
# A riddle-diddle Dublin Donegal
170
00:09:54,360 --> 00:10:00,440
# The English are all bollocks #
171
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,800
This is no good,
we need proper music.
172
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:08,120
I know!
We'll have a dancing competition.
173
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,600
I'll go first
and then it's you, Manny, OK?
174
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,400
# MOTORHEAD: The Ace Of Spades
175
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,320
I'm going next cos that's rubbish.
176
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:33,560
You can't dance. At the party,
you embarrassed us.
177
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:33,560
I'll have you any day.
178
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,560
You can't do this.
179
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:39,080
Why would I want to do that?
180
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:42,440
Why would I want to
when I can do this?
181
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,400
(ALL GRUNT, PANT AND COUGH)
182
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,400
Oh...
183
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,280
Agh!
184
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,640
What is this I'm drinking?
185
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:11,920
It's like a choc-ice fell
into a bottle of bleach.
186
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,160
It's children's booze!
187
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,160
What's yours?
188
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:20,640
Bludge.
189
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:24,160
It's good.
You don't even have to drink it.
190
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:28,960
You rub it on your hips
and it eats through to your liver.
191
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:33,960
Manny, what's yours?
192
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,960
Delicio's Beetroot Liqueur.
193
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,240
Give us a bit, there. Swap, come on.
194
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:40,480
(GRUNTS)
195
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,480
It's mine!
196
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,280
Manny, don't be a baby. Pour some!
197
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:47,280
I'll have one.
I'll have it with ice and on fire.
198
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,680
No, it's mine. It's all mine!
199
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,000
I'm gonna get blind drunk.
200
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,400
Don't be silly.
You'll regret it tomorrow.
201
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:59,200
No!
202
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:59,200
Why are you always
bringing the mood down?
203
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:04,440
I didn't want to leave that party!
It was great.
204
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,440
No, it wasn't.
205
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,840
The music was too loud,
the food was cold,
206
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:11,160
the drinks were few
and the people, many.
207
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,240
It was everything I expected
and less.
208
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:19,520
I'm never going outside again
unless I need some place to throw up.
209
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:26,880
Anyway, you got your chance with her.
What did you talk about?
210
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,880
Offshore wind farms.
211
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:36,080
I couldn't think of anything else.
212
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:36,080
Never mind, I'm sure
you left a Bunsen burner behind.
213
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:42,120
You can go round and pick it up
and pull.
214
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:42,120
No! I couldn't find a moment
to plant anything.
215
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:47,560
She kept following me around -
the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom...
216
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:52,120
Every time I put something down -
"Ooh! Mind your swabs!"
217
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:55,120
"Ooh! You got snuff on your plums!"
218
00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,720
It was a total waste of time.
219
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:03,400
Well, frankly, you're doomed.
You and all the shy people are.
220
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:07,480
Natural selection favours the loud
and aggressive.
221
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,280
Genetically, you are a cul-de-sac.
222
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,320
OK. OK, I tried, all right?
223
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:20,520
At least I tried to make
a connection with another person.
224
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:23,600
When have you ever done that? Eh?
225
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:28,960
Exactly! You don't have a heart,
Bernard, just a shard of ice.
226
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,960
Flint.
227
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:35,200
Sorry?
228
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:35,200
I always saw it as a piece of flint.
229
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,560
Mm. You don't see yourself
as a human.
230
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:43,040
You're some kind of
superior species, aren't you?
231
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,680
Homo bernardis,
232
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:49,680
scorning every fool
who believes in happiness.
233
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:53,120
Manny, shush.
This is the beetroot talking.
234
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:58,240
You don't know what love is.
You don't have it in you to know.
235
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:03,000
I had a girlfriend, actually.
She died.
236
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,000
A... And anyway...
237
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,320
That's right. Her name was Emma.
238
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,880
Somebody you barely know
knocked you back. Big deal.
239
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:15,280
I'm supposed to be living with her
by now and instead,
240
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:20,520
every morning I wake to see
your big, mad, snaggle-toothed head.
241
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:24,600
So, excuse me
if I'm a bit out of sorts sometimes.
242
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,560
Would you like
some beetroot liqueur?
243
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:35,640
You can have it.
You can have the whole bottle.
244
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,640
Really, you can have
nearly all of it.
245
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,120
Go ahead. Whoa! Don't go mad.
246
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:47,360
I don't feel like a drink, anyway.
I'm making tea, who wants tea?
247
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:52,960
That is the saddest story
I've ever heard. Poor Bernard.
248
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,640
The worst part of it is
249
00:14:55,640 --> 00:15:00,200
she isn't dead, she lives
the other side of Priory Road.
250
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,440
What?
251
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,840
Bernard told me about her
three years ago.
252
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:15,280
A year after that, I started
this exercise class run by a clown.
253
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:15,280
Yeah?
254
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:15,280
Circusise, it was called.
255
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,960
We had to wear
these really really big shoes,
256
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,840
so the step stuff was really hard.
257
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,840
It went -
258
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:28,920
honk, honk! - two, three, four,
honk, honk! - two, three, four
259
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,640
and throw! the bucket of water.
Honk, honk!...
260
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:36,680
Fran, Fran, Fran!
Try to stick to the story.
261
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,160
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. Anyway.
262
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,160
After the class,
we'd go for a pizza.
263
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:45,160
And we were talking about boyfriends
264
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:50,240
and one girl said she'd once
got engaged to this awful Irish guy
265
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,240
called...
266
00:15:55,920 --> 00:16:00,920
..Bernard.
267
00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:00,920
Oh!
268
00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,920
And the only way
she could get out of it
269
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:04,720
was to get her friend to say
that she was dead.
270
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:10,640
But... she wasn't dead?
271
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,840
No, Manny.
272
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:18,640
Which is why she was having
a pepperoni with extra cheese
years later.
273
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,280
Why haven't you told Bernard?
274
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,280
Oh! I couldn't deal with all that.
275
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:29,600
Can you imagine? All the shouting
and blaming. It would be messy.
276
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,960
Listen - you don't tell him.
277
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:36,760
Don't you ever tell him.
278
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,760
I won't tell.
279
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,760
Manny, I mean it.
280
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:41,280
I won't tell, I won't!
281
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,280
Not even in ten or 20 years.
282
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:45,080
No, no way.
283
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,080
OK? Shush.
284
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,080
I won't. No, no.
285
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,760
What about a game of Monopoly?
286
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,760
Now that is a good idea.
287
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:52,480
Yeah, yeah. OK, all right,
here we go.
288
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,720
So, er, OK, Fran, you be the hat,
289
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,480
I'll be the dog and Bernard...
290
00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,360
She's alive! Bernard, she's alive!
291
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:09,040
Fran told me! Fran knows her!
Ask her! Ask Fran!
292
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,000
Emma lives in London... still.
293
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,960
I'm sorry, Bernard.
294
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,920
So, are you saying she must've...
295
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,120
Yeah.
296
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:25,120
I don't believe you.
297
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,200
Well, look, she's in my phone.
298
00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:33,360
Look, that's her full name,
isn't it?
299
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:36,440
I don't... I still don't believe you.
300
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,720
That's a photo of her and me
at her last birthday.
301
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:47,520
One of the many she'll have,
still being alive.
302
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,800
Here's her dental records.
303
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,480
It can't be her!
304
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,760
All right -
here's her birth certificate.
305
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:04,160
I keep it tucked in the envelope
with the photo of her
306
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:09,720
reading yesterday's newspaper and
wearing the "I Love Life" T-shirt.
307
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,880
So, house rules, as usual.
308
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:17,120
Fines go in the middle.
If we throw three doubles...
309
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:21,880
How long have you known this?
310
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,880
Couple of years. Does it matter?
311
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,880
Oh! We all want Pall Mall, don't we?
312
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:30,600
Who else knows, apart from Manny?
313
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,600
Nobody. Hardly anybody.
A few people.
314
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:35,320
Mr Singh, the newsagent.
And your parents, I told them.
315
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:39,120
I tell people at parties
if your name comes up.
316
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,720
Well, maybe I know a few things
about you.
317
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:48,000
Maybe I've held onto a few facts.
318
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:48,000
I've thrown a seven! Beat that!
319
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:53,840
Manny doesn't know what name you were
born with. Have you met Enid?
320
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,280
Don't let's go down this road.
321
00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:01,600
The letter you wrote your mother
on the self-help programme,
322
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,840
I found it and I posted it.
323
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,840
Manny,
324
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:13,480
you did get into the Open University
but Bernard tore up the letter.
325
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,600
I read your personal ad,
that was good.
326
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,040
"Intelligent, funny,
30-something female
327
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:30,200
seeks solvent man for sex,
possible friendship.
Sense of humour irrelevant."
328
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:35,720
I've been reading
your short stories.
329
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:35,720
That's different.
330
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,720
Have a listen to this.
331
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:39,120
Gimme that.
332
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:39,120
"Feared by men and admired by women,
333
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:44,560
Brendan Blake patted Larry,
his barely hominoid, milk-fed gimp."
334
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:55,840
By the way, you went to the party
looking like that.
335
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,840
(SCREAMS)
336
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,760
Well, I think that covers everything.
337
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,280
KNOCKING
338
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,560
Hello?
339
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,560
Rowena!
340
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,520
Hi! Hi... hi.
341
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:16,880
I don't know if you remember me,
we were talking at the party.
342
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,880
Yes, hi, hi.
343
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,600
Hi.
344
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,600
And you left something behind.
345
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:25,120
Did I?
346
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:25,120
You were drinking out of this and...
347
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:30,920
and I thought maybe you wanted the
cup, so I asked Anne where you lived
348
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,200
But you're busy. I'm sorry.
349
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,080
I'm stupid.
350
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,080
No, thanks for bring it round.
351
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,520
I'm really pleased
that you came round
352
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,360
with... it.
353
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,960
Oh, for Christ's sake!
354
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,200
Well, th... thanks, thanks.
355
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,520
I'll just put that there,
safe and sound.
356
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,240
So... (LAUGHS)
357
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:02,880
Erm... That's about it, really.
358
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,880
(Right, right.)
359
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,080
Well, thanks for, er,
bringing it round.
360
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:14,920
Offer her something, you fool!
361
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,920
Oh! Seeing as you're here,
would you like some tea
362
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:20,720
or a Bovril? Or a herbal Bovril?
363
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,720
Tea's nice.
364
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,720
Tea! Coming up.
365
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,520
I'll help you make it!
366
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,440
(GIGGLES)
367
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,440
THUMPING FOOTSTEPS
368
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,880
Aw, good for Manny.
369
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:41,320
I'm sorry. I should have told you
about Emma but she asked me not to.
370
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:41,320
I was too good for her, anyway.
371
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,600
She had arms like a stevedore.
Stay and have a drink.
372
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,400
Oh, no, no. I've got to go home.
373
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,280
I'm not sleeping in this kip again.
374
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:55,760
I'll just lie down,
just to rest my eyes.
375
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,800
I've got a date tomorrow.
I've got to look nice.
376
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,000
(SNORES)
377
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:29,720
Hi, could I talk with Emma...
Oh, it's you, hi.
378
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:33,120
Yes, that's right, it's me.
I'm very well.
379
00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:35,120
Actually, no - I'm dead.
380
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,800
How are you?
381
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:42,800
That's right, I'm physically dead.
It's not funny now, is it?
382
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,040
I'm haunting you,
that's what I'm doing.
383
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,040
Why don't you f...
384
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:51,120
You can't hang up on the undead!
385
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,480
↑ (GIGGLES)
386
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,840
SHUT UP!
387
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:16,880
Bernard, did you want something?
388
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:16,880
I want not to hear squawking
or squeaking or squealing.
389
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:22,520
If I do,
I'll throw you both into the street.
390
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,520
Right.
391
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,160
Nighty-night.
392
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,800
Eh?
393
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,920
Subtitles by Intelfax
28502
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof