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1
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:35,240
You reckon they got in
through the back?
2
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,240
Yeah. We reckon it was drug addicts.
3
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,440
They took all the drugs.
4
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:45,800
A packet of Beechams,
a bottle of Night Nurse, all gone.
5
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:45,800
Doesn't surprise me, I can see
145 points of entry into the shop.
6
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,920
Are there?
7
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,920
Try and keep me out.
8
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,760
You see?
9
00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:00,960
That's why you need this.
I install this system in zoos.
10
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:07,800
The glass is soundproofed.
11
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:07,800
You need soundproofing in zoos?
12
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,800
Well, otherwise the kids
start calling the lions pricks.
13
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:14,320
It's a very good system.
You know the CIA?
14
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:14,320
Yeah.
15
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,320
They probably use something better.
16
00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,000
Oh, right, right, yeah. Wow.
17
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:21,800
I read about the CIA. Apparently,
they've got this stationery,
18
00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:26,000
looks normal, but
when you write on it, it dissolves.
19
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,400
Nah, that's bollocks.
Right, very simple.
20
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:34,200
When you go out,
just press 0-5 to arm.
21
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,200
ALARM
22
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:40,240
And to disarm, just press
3-3-6-9-8-8-5-4... (FADES)
23
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,400
3-9-9. You listening to me or what?
24
00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:01,920
What? Er, yeah.
25
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,920
Shall I go through it again?
26
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,920
N-No, that's fine.
27
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,920
Hi, Bernard. The alarm system's on.
28
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:10,520
It prevents the door being opened
unless you put in the code.
29
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:15,080
It makes it more secure.
30
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,080
Er, the glass is soundproofed.
31
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,680
Ah. The glass is soundproofed.
The thicker glass...
32
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:23,320
SILENCE
33
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:23,320
You're a beard
with an idiot hanging off it.
34
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:28,240
BEEPING
35
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,240
UNLOCKING MECHANISM
36
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:38,200
Well, here I am.
37
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:38,200
Listen, your friend here's got
all the details, so I'll be off.
38
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:44,320
(LISPS) but remember the three Ss -
39
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:44,320
(LISPS) Three Ss?
40
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,320
Yeah,
shecurity, shecurity, shecurity.
41
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:49,000
Sorry, I didn't get what you said
because of your amazing lisp.
42
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,800
Did you tell them
they got in through the back?
43
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:57,240
Yes.
44
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,240
Well, we couldn't say
you left the front door open.
45
00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:59,440
What sort of world is it
46
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:04,560
where you can't leave the door open
without getting robbed?
47
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,560
It's this sort of world, Gandalf.
48
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,880
This is the main lock.
You arm it by pressing 0-5.
49
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,000
PHONE
50
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,000
Hang on.
51
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:16,520
Hello? Yes? No,
I am going to pay that bill. I am.
52
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,200
Yes, I know... Yeah...
53
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,720
No, I... Yea...
54
00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:24,520
Excuse me, could you... Hang on. Yes.
55
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:31,920
Oh, you agree with everything
I'm saying? Terrific. Bye.
56
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,600
How much for these?
57
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:42,800
£40.
58
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:42,800
They're worth more than that.
These are good hardbacks.
59
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,840
Tolstoy...
60
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,840
I know, I know, I know.
61
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:50,240
I don't want them! I'll have to price
them and put them up on shelves
62
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:54,240
and store them and
people'll ask about them and buy them
63
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,640
and read them and come back
and sell them
64
00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,240
and the whole hideous cycle
will go on and on and on!
65
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:05,440
Just, please, take them away.
Sorry, no, it won't work. Here.
66
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,200
Here's £40,
just take them away, please.
67
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,760
I got it.
68
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,760
A-ha. Give, give, give.
69
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:23,960
Oh, my God.
70
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:23,960
What?
71
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,960
It's Howell, Howell Granger,
I was at college with him.
72
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:27,280
Well, go and say hello.
73
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,280
No, don't. He... confuses me.
74
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,160
He confuses me.
He's... he's a total arsehole,
75
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:36,960
but he's got this voice
and it just does things to me.
76
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,160
(DEEP, HUSKY VOICE) Fran?
77
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,440
My God, what are you doing here?
78
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,640
Howell!
79
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:49,400
Hello. I... have a shop.
80
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,080
Erm, I mean, I-I work next door.
81
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:56,640
Oh.
82
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:56,640
Erm, ho-how are you?
83
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,640
Oh, I'm great, you know.
84
00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:00,320
Still beavering away in Radio Four.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
85
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,800
Hey, you look Fran-tastic.
86
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:12,320
You sound well.
87
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:12,320
Oh, thank you. I hope so, I'm doing
the shipping forecast tonight.
88
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,320
That's... good?
89
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,720
Oh, well, I suppose I'd better
shuffle off before I buy something.
90
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,240
I'm voracious at the moment, Fran.
91
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:24,400
I seem to be swallowing books whole,
devouring them. I'm ravenous.
92
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:24,400
# ROMANTIC STRINGS
93
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:28,440
NEEDLE SCRATCHES ON RECORD
94
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,440
My number,
should you wish to give me a tinkle.
95
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,320
(GIBBERS)
96
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,720
Goodbye.
97
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:35,720
Arrivederci, Francesca.
98
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,640
Hey, Genghis.
99
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:50,200
Isn't it your cinema night tonight?
100
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:50,200
Yeah. I'm going to see
Armapocalypse, wanna come?
101
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,640
I don't think I will, no.
102
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:57,440
Fran and I are meeting for drinks,
aren't we, Fran?
103
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,440
Shipping.
104
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:01,200
Try something new, absinthe.
You know the slogan?
105
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:05,640
"The drink that makes you
wanna kill yourself instantly."
106
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:10,720
Looking forward to that, eh, Fran?
107
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,720
Forecast.
108
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,720
Ha, that's right.
109
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,040
Do you think I should wash my beard?
110
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:22,680
I think you should wash it, yeah.
Then shave it off,
111
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,160
nail it to a Frisbee
112
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,800
and fling it over a rainbow.
113
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:34,240
All right. What was the last film
you went to see?
114
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,160
Er,... Oh, you know, the astronauts.
115
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:42,040
Armageddon?
116
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:42,040
Before that. At the end,
he goes "You finally did it!"
117
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,640
and then you see
the Statue of Liberty on the beach.
118
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:49,880
The last film you went to see
was Planet Of The Apes?!
119
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,880
Yeah. Amazing effects.
120
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:53,320
You really believed
monkeys could have meetings.
121
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:58,440
And you've not been to the cinema
since then?
122
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,440
Nah. It's all tossycock.
123
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:06,160
Better than getting mashed
every night with only the dead bees
on the windowsill for company.
124
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,160
I like the dead bees.
125
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:10,080
At least they don't leave
the door open and get us robbed!
126
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,960
Don't get judgey with me,
Ming the Merciless.
127
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,040
What's the story
with this alarm thing anyway?
128
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:23,920
How does it work? Whaddya do?
129
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,920
Right, now,...
130
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,920
You press, what, 0-5 to arm it?
131
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:28,960
Yes, you press 0-5 and then you
go out and it'll lock automatically.
132
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:35,160
When you come back in, punch in
the code and the lock will open.
133
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,160
First question, when I come in?
134
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,760
But how do I get in
through the locked door?
135
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:44,080
Ah, that's the clever thing.
136
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,080
Oh, right, yeah.
137
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:53,840
Er, could you repeat the question?
138
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,840
I'm outside, the door is locked,
139
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:58,040
Right.
140
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:58,040
the keypad is inside,...
141
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,040
Sorry, my fault.
142
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,040
how can I enter the building?
143
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,200
I see. The thing... Er,...
144
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,480
The... Erm,... Co... The code!
145
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:10,680
Thank you. Sorry to bring this up
again, how do I get in?
146
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,680
The code opens the door.
147
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,680
I know the code opens the door!
148
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:14,480
But how do I get in to punch
in the code to open the door?
149
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,880
OK, for the moment,
just tell me the code.
150
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,880
There was a little man.
151
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:33,200
"There was a little man" is the code?
152
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:33,200
No, I didn't hear the code because
he had a little man in his hair.
153
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,480
Well, the little man in my hair's
getting very, very angry.
154
00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:44,720
What are you talking about?
155
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,720
He had a Subbuteo player
in his hair, I got distracted!
156
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:51,640
So we have a security system
that doesn't let anybody in or out?
157
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:56,480
Yes!
158
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:56,480
Yes! Including us!
159
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,480
We'll get used to it.
160
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,480
Oh? HOW DO WE GET USED TO IT?!
161
00:08:56,680 --> 00:09:01,360
What's the problem?!
162
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:01,360
LOOK, IT'S VERY SIMPLE! I'M OUTSIDE!
163
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:04,600
Right!
164
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,600
THE DOOR IS LOCKED.
165
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,680
Now, basically,
what happens now is that you...
166
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:14,360
Wait, I see the problem here. You
have to get in to punch in the code.
167
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:20,880
Is this locked now?
168
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:20,880
I can't hear you. I'll punch in
the code and let you in.
169
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,520
You... Have you locked me out?!
170
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,600
Just one sec.
171
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,680
YES! YES!
172
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,880
YOU HAVE!
173
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,280
WRITE SOMETHING USEFUL, YOU STUPID...
174
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,520
I know, it's annoying.
175
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,840
PRESSES NUMBERS
176
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,000
DEAD TONE
177
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,600
Fran.
178
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,600
# (SINGS TUNE)
179
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,000
"..on Radio Four at 2.30.
Now, our weekly visit..."
180
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,360
Ga!
181
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,360
ENGAGED TONE
182
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,720
DISTANT SIREN
183
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,160
AH!
184
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,320
Oh, er,... Right.
185
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,320
Er, OK, just relax.
186
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,320
Relax.
187
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,280
Starving. Where?
188
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,120
Cupboard.
189
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,160
Ah! A-ha.
190
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,040
No, no, no!
191
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,800
Eugh.
192
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,800
Er... Ah!
193
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,280
Ah.
194
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:33,000
Ah. "When you find yourself
in a desperate situation,
195
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:37,960
you can find edible grubs or roots,
even insects provide nutrition."
196
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:41,960
"It's vital to stay warm
and have adequate liquid."
197
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:49,600
Heh. Right. "Morale is just
as important as adequate hydration."
198
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:54,360
"It may sound absurb, but a singsong
has seen many a lonely soldier
199
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:57,520
through a long night in the wilds."
Hmm.
200
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:02,280
# I'm in the mood for dancing
201
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:07,000
# Romancing
I'm head over... da-di-da #
202
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,000
Mm. Crunchy.
203
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,760
Sorry, there seems to be a mistake.
204
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:34,640
I bought a drink and some popcorn
and now I have no money?
205
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,640
That's how much it costs.
206
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:40,000
Why, is it special popcorn?
Does it produce a dizzying high or...
207
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:43,560
Cola, please.
208
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,520
(SLURRED) That's the trap set up.
209
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:09,320
"Now, wait for rabbit to approach."
210
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,720
Rabbit?
211
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,200
Where am I gonna get a rabbit?
212
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:22,000
"It is vital to maintain
radio contact."
213
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:27,720
RADIO BUZZES ON
214
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:54,680
Excuse me, this might sound funny,
but could I, please, have 10p?
215
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,680
You joking?
216
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,680
No. Could I, please?
217
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,640
Please don't be engaged, Fran.
Don't be engaged.
218
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,720
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO
AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT?!
219
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:14,040
"..and after the news, the shipping
forecast read by Howell Granger."
220
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,800
Eep.
221
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000
(BLOWS)
222
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:42,640
Nasty night out there?
223
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:42,640
Yeah, yeah. Freezing. (SHIVERS)
Wouldn't wanna be stuck out there.
224
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:47,280
A lot of low air pressure came down
from Abernethy or somewhere and...
225
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:53,040
Is that right?
Now, what can I interest you in?
226
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:53,040
Oh, yeah. Right.
227
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:58,280
OK. I'd like some
hardcore pornography, please.
228
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,280
All right. 'Ere y'are.
229
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:06,760
Set in a woman's prison, £25.
230
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:06,760
You got anything in a town hall where
they guess the weight of a cake and..
231
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,760
No. Got one with nurses.
232
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:15,960
What kind of nurses though?
233
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:15,960
The kind with big tits!
234
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:15,960
But are they in administration? I'd
want hospital paperwork and that...
235
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:21,960
That's very specific.
236
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:21,960
Keep looking, we'll find something.
Can you turn the radiator up?
237
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:29,480
Administrative Nurses, £40.
238
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:29,480
Sorry, I meant to say I'm interested
only in senior administrative nurses.
239
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:35,640
Could we watch it together?
We could get a bottle of wine and...
240
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,640
Out!
241
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,480
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
WHAT TAKES THIS LONG?!
242
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:52,760
RADIO: "Northwest Finisterre."
243
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,760
(GASPS)
244
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,760
"Northwesterly backing..."
245
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,760
(GASPS AND SQUEALS)
246
00:16:55,760 --> 00:17:01,120
"Squawly showers,
moderate becoming good."
247
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,120
(SQUEALS) Good!
248
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:05,720
(VERY SLURRED)
Very lonely. I'm a lonely soldier.
249
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,320
Come in. Come in!
250
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,800
RADIO STATIC
251
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,800
This is lonely soldier.
252
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,000
My coordinates are...
253
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,720
bookshop!
254
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:26,040
"Lundy, Fastnet, Irish Sea,..."
255
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,040
Hello?
256
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:31,880
(SQUEALS)
257
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:31,880
"German Bight, southwest
veering west, five to seven."
258
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,520
"Good."
259
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,520
(GASPS) Good. Good! Good!
260
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,680
"That is the end
of the shipping forecast."
261
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:42,560
No. No, no! No, wait, please! Wait!
Howell, please come back! Howell!
262
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:47,960
"Now, A Book At Bedtime.
Joe Pasquali reads Heidi
by Johanna Spyri."
263
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:55,000
"(SQUAWKY VOICE)
The pretty town of Mayenfeld lies
at the foot of a mountain range,"
264
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,000
Ah!
265
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,240
"whose grim rugged peaks..."
266
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,240
Ah! Ah!
267
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,560
"Behind the town of Mayenfeld,..."
268
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,800
C-cou... Does the, erm,...
269
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,640
Mamba burger come with zesty cheese?
270
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:30,960
No.
271
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,960
OK, er, then could I have some...
272
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,760
Hunky Dunkers
with barbecue Hunky Dunky dip?
273
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,640
Er, and a Mucky chocolate milkshake.
274
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:43,040
What size?
Small, medium, Goliath or God?
275
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:50,320
PA: "One Hunky Dunkers, barbecue
Hunky Dunker dip and a medium Mucky"
276
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:56,840
That'll be £4.99.
277
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:56,840
Erm, I'm a little light at
the moment. Er, actually,... Er,...
278
00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:01,400
(STUTTERS) This... This belt... is...
is made from real leather.
279
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:04,760
Feel it. Go on. Have a feel.
280
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:09,960
If you're not eating anything,
you'll have to leave the premises.
281
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,960
RUMBLING THUNDER
282
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,240
"I will do so immediately, sir."
283
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,120
I will do so immediately,...
284
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,480
sir. I will do so immediately, sir.
285
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,400
Hello. (SIGHS)
286
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:04,640
"HEAVY BREATHING"
287
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,240
Hello? Who is this?
288
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,840
Is this you, Mummy?
289
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:13,240
I can hear you breathing, whoever
you are. You're testing my patience.
290
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:19,040
I know there's someone there.
Right, that's it, I'm hanging up.
291
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,040
"Don't hang up, Howell!"
292
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,040
Fran?
293
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:27,040
Is this you, Fran?
294
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:27,040
"(BREATHES HEAVILY)"
295
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:27,040
Are you OK? Are you in any pain?
296
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:32,240
"(BREATHING QUICKENS)"
297
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:32,240
Do you want me to come over?
298
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:34,960
"(GASPS)"
299
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:32,240
I'll come over, Fran. Shall I come?
300
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,960
I'll come, Fran. I'll come.
301
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:40,680
"Ah, ah, ah!"
302
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:40,680
I'll come.
303
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:40,680
"A-A-A-A-A-A-A-AH!"
304
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,920
Fran!
305
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,400
Fran, my God, what's happened?!
306
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,000
"Hello, Howell, sorry about that."
307
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:59,800
Fran, are you all right?
308
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:59,800
Yes, I... I'm fine, thank you.
I just caught my...
309
00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:05,840
foot in the fridge.
310
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:05,840
Oh, erm...
311
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,840
Anyway, thanks, goodbye.
312
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,880
(SPLUTTERS)
313
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,480
# TINNY INDISTINCT MUSIC
314
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,480
Erm,...
315
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:21,160
Is it still raining outside?
316
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:21,160
Er, yeah.
317
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:21,160
Right, welcome to the thing,
whatever this place is.
318
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:26,960
OK. Erm,
can I ha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ve, er,
319
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:32,280
E-E-E-E-E-E-Er...
320
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:32,280
WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
321
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,280
A Mambo burger. Mambo burger, please
322
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,520
What do they look like?
323
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:35,520
It's sort of two layers.
324
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:41,480
What does the wrapper look like?
325
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:41,480
Oh, it's, erm, the red...
red and white, I think.
326
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:42,720
Here, there you go.
327
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,200
No, no, no, no, no, just, er,...
328
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:49,320
This... this one.
329
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,320
There you go.
330
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,320
No, no, no. No, no.
331
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:54,280
I think that's it.
332
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,280
(COUGHS) There's bacon or something.
333
00:21:54,280 --> 00:22:01,000
Er, no, that's not it.
334
00:21:55,800 --> 00:22:01,000
(COUGHS) That one is very nice.
335
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,000
It's not that one.
336
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,000
< Try it, it's nice, give it a shot
337
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:05,000
It'll be nice, have it!
Give me a quid.
338
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,000
Can I get some chips, too, please?
339
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:11,000
How many?
340
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,000
Roughly, how many? Come on!
341
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,040
40?
342
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,640
(COUNTS UNDER HIS BREATH)
343
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:29,800
Two quid.
344
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,800
(SNIFFS)
345
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,800
And, erm, a diet coke.
346
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:38,160
No, no, no, no.
347
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,360
Coke's off. Have some extra chips.
348
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:53,240
Can I have Mambo chilli dog...
349
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,240
Is it still raining?
350
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,480
CAR TOOTING HORN
351
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,640
What happened?
352
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:17,920
Oh, you were burgled again.
353
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,920
Huh? There was nothing left to take.
What'd they get?
354
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:22,320
Well, as far as I can make out,
they took the security system.
355
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,440
Thank Christ for that.
356
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:32,680
What's up with him?
357
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,680
He drank all our absinthe.
358
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,680
I'm the lonely soldier.
359
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,800
What are you doin'?
360
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,800
Putting a cold flannel on his head.
361
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,080
Why?
362
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,080
They do that in the films.
363
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,520
Where were you when I needed you?
364
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,520
Oh, yeah, Bernard,
365
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,640
something came... up.
366
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,320
I-I'm so, so sorry.
367
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:53,440
Erm, what did you do?
368
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:53,440
Oh, just my usual night out.
369
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:57,760
Saw an experimental film
where nothing happened for two hours!
370
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:02,440
Hung out with a pornographer,
got a job in a burger bar, the usual!
371
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,400
Bernard,... Bernard, I'm sorry.
372
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:11,520
Forget it.
373
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,520
No, there's another thing.
374
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,520
I ate... (MUMBLES)
375
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:19,480
What did you do?
376
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:19,480
(MUMBLES)
377
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,480
WHAT DID YOU DO?!
378
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,480
I ate all your bees!
379
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:47,360
Intelfax Subtitles by
YORICK BROWN
26887
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