Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,359
SHE LAUGHS
2
00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:08,319
Is that a sourdough loaf?
3
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,119
GASPS
Oh, my God,
4
00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:11,920
it's finally happening!
5
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:14,599
Wow!
6
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,359
Look at this. Hey. How's it going?
7
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,959
It's so Nordic.
8
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,879
I love all the pine.
9
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:23,839
Mm. This smells exactly
how I imagine Finland feels.
10
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,679
Are you the same
Vantablack as the one in Chiswick?
11
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,279
Yep. That's us. Fantastic.
12
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:28,799
We were on the same street.
13
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,279
You might remember Hygge Tygge.
14
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:32,479
Oh, yeah, is that the gift shop?
15
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,079
It was a lifestyle concept shop.
Store.
16
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,879
But, er, yeah, I guess it was
my gift to Chiswick High Road.
17
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,719
God, it's so great to have
a kindred spirit in the locale.
18
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,599
You know, I would be happy
19
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,919
to give Vantablack a pump
on the socials if you like?
20
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,759
I, um, run this little thang
called Senuous?
21
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,879
Cool. Love a local blog, yeah.
22
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,039
It's not a local blog.
23
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:53,599
Do you want a coffee? Oh!
24
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,679
Gratis, as a thank you.
25
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,319
I'm supposed to be fasting
till 11:00, but, um...
26
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,879
...rules are made to be broken.
27
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:01,959
Thank you!
28
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,639
Also, can I just say?
Big up to a fellow girl-boss.
29
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:07,720
Yeah. Who runs the world, right?
30
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,959
Jeff Bezos? I was going to say
girls.
31
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,159
Yeah...!
32
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,199
Of course.
33
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,719
No, I love a bit of J-Lo.
34
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,040
There you go.
35
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,159
Oh, wow!
36
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,519
Is that a vulva?
It's a coffee bean.
37
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:20,879
It's a coffee bean. I love it.
38
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,160
Yeah!
39
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:28,920
I should've got a straw...
40
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,559
Aww, hello. Who's this?
41
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:35,999
Aww, this is Bobby,
42
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,479
my new fur baby. Bobby!
43
00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:40,919
I was feeling a bit lonely
so I went out and got meself a wolf.
44
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,919
I mean, I would've started
with a Jack Russell
45
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:44,879
or something a bit smaller,
like a hamster.
46
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,679
Well, guys...
47
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,479
She came. She saw.
48
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:49,839
She gentrified.
49
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:53,119
SoHa just got its first
decent coffee shop.
50
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,279
What about Ron's Coffee Counter?
51
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,439
He thought a cortado
was a make of car, Fi.
52
00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:01,399
No. Vantablack Coffee
is a real boon for SoHa.
53
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,599
I'm just amazed it's
happened so quickly.
54
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,479
As I always said, "If the Amanda
can't go to the coffee,
55
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,480
"the coffee must come
to the Amanda."
56
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,439
So modest. Yeah.
It's quite funny though, yeah?!
57
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:13,759
Bobby, no! No, Bobby!
58
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:14,999
Oh! Sorry, sorry!
59
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,199
You've got a fan there, Amanda.
60
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,519
Who's this? Oh, this is Bobby!
61
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:19,999
Ahh! In't he the cutest?
62
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,159
Ahh, he's lovely!
63
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,119
He slept next to me
all night last night.
64
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,159
Farting away.
65
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,879
Made me realise how much
I miss Della.
66
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,559
Aww. Oh!
67
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,119
Ah! Oh... Oh.
68
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:30,759
Actually, no, thank you, Bobby.
69
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,319
C'mon, Bobby - where's your ball?
Bobby! Where's your ball?
70
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,279
Er, I think
he's found his balls, Fi.
71
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,959
No... That's horrid.
72
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,439
Mate! Oi!
73
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:39,959
What you doing?! Mate!
74
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,759
You can't just drive on here!
75
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,439
What are you doing?
Are you serious? What?! Oh, my God.
76
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:45,799
Who does that?
77
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,239
Mummy. All right, Felicity!
78
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,359
What are you doing here?
79
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,319
Can't a doting grandmother come to
cheer on her little bear?
80
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:53,999
Go, Georgie!
81
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,599
Right. Anyone for brunch?
82
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,839
No can do, I'm afraid, Mummy.
83
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,039
I'm doing a bit of pro-bono
for Vantablack.
84
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,479
Promised I'd pop in later
and do some shots for the 'gram.
85
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,079
You can come with if you like,
Mummy, but I will be working.
86
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,559
That's very noble of you, Mands,
helping out a local business.
87
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:11,639
Well, I just think Harlesden
is crying out for a community hub.
88
00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:14,839
I tell you what it's not crying out
for is a £5 bloody croissant.
89
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,799
"Quoi-sannn" -
and you're paying for the quality.
90
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,159
If you want a bog-standard pastry,
there's always Greggs.
91
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,079
Babe, if you come for Greggs,
you come for me.
92
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,879
I am not coming for Greggs.
93
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,279
OK, well, I'm just saying you
don't have to remortgage your flat
94
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,599
for a coffee, so...
95
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,039
Please don't make this
a class war, Abigail.
96
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,159
There's a place in SoHa
for everyone.
97
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,679
I'll go to Vantablacks,
you can go to Greggs.
98
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:36,719
OK.
99
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,719
Who is this man Gregg and why is
everyone still talking about him?
100
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,079
Anyway - Fi, Mal, brunch?
101
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,599
I'd love to, I've got to go
and look at some sheds. Ugh!
102
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,119
Tell me you're middle-aged without
telling me you're middle-aged.
103
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,479
No - Ned's outgrown his bunk
104
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,559
and the double bed's taken up
his entire room,
105
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,879
so I thought we'd build the shed
together over half term,
106
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,199
to give him some more space.
107
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,719
And where exactly is
this shed going to go?
108
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:57,999
The end of my garden.
109
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,119
My garden.
110
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,879
No, I'm pretty sure it's my garden.
111
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,039
That's why they call it
a garden flat.
112
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,759
No, they call it a garden flat
113
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,279
because people are too polite
to say you live in my cellar.
114
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,559
Um, I'm trying to get rid
of an old summer house.
115
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,359
You can have it for nothing if you
can be bothered to take it apart.
116
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:13,679
Ohh! Oh, happy days, yeah.
117
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:14,839
Absolutely. Cheers.
118
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,519
Well, let's make a plan
after coffee.
119
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,799
Nobody leave without me.
120
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,919
Sounds great.
121
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,079
I'll give you a hand, if you like.
122
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:21,799
Since when have you been into DIY?
123
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:25,479
Oh, well, it'd be nice to have some
father-son-stepfather bonding time.
124
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,479
And, y'know, I can learn
from the master.
125
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:28,639
HE CHUCKLES
126
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,359
There's a bottle cap over there.
Oh, leave off.
127
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,519
Bottle cap. Yeah - and that.
So unfair.
128
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,599
Yeah, well, if you can't
do the time, don't do the crime.
129
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:35,879
What's going on?
130
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:37,399
I suppose you've all
heard about Anus-gate?
131
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,399
What? I got a phone call
from the school...
132
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,199
Yes? ..to say that they caught
Darius sending pictures
133
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,400
of his bumhole on Snapchat.
134
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:46,759
Oh!
GASPS
135
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:47,799
Gross.
136
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,519
It's only a photo
of my clenched fist!
137
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,079
Yes! Which looks remarkably
like your chocolate starfish.
138
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,439
You know, this could very easily
have gone viral.
139
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,719
So, I've taken things
into my own hands.
140
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:57,919
Have a look,
141
00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,279
and feel free to share
the results with your teens.
142
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:03,999
"Please repost to show my eejit son
how fast things spread online."
143
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,159
Please don't tell me
you've posted that.
144
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,439
Yes, I have -
I posted it this morning,
145
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,359
and I've already gotten 140 shares.
146
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:10,559
That's even more embarrassing
147
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,279
than posting a picture
of my actual bumhole.
148
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:13,399
Yeah, well.
149
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,639
Maybe you'll think twice now
about sending another picture.
150
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,239
Oh, yeah!
151
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,519
Yeah, it does look like an anus!
LAUGHTER
152
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,799
Oh, gosh.
Anne, I'm so sorry.
153
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,160
Get that lid.
154
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,079
What have you seen?
155
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,319
Nothing, Mummy.
I'm posing for the camera.
156
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:35,919
CAMERA SHUTTER
Did you get it?
157
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:36,999
Yep. OK, right.
158
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,079
I'm going to do one with this
159
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,840
and swap seats for
a different background.
160
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,680
Keep the camera up, Manus.
161
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:48,559
So you post a picture of yourself
eating cakes,
162
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:49,999
and that's a job?
163
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,759
No, I'm going to edit it
together into a montage,
164
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,799
under the hashtag
"Let SoHa eat cake".
165
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,639
Vive la revolution.
166
00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,959
Can I have some of these
if you're not going to eat them?
167
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,519
No, Manus.
We're going to the dentist at two.
168
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,799
Actually we need to bust a move.
169
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,359
Oh, so soon? Shall I come with?
170
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,479
Mummy, we're going to the dentist!
Just stay and enjoy your coffee.
171
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:11,439
OK, so we have a latte for Felicity,
172
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,719
and a turmeric and ginger
power shot to go. Thank you!
173
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,159
Mmm.
174
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,199
Hoh!
175
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,199
Ellie, babe - these
cakes are going to look amazing
176
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:20,319
on the socials.
177
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:24,439
I'll pop in later to give you
a sneaky peak before it goes viral.
178
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:25,480
Amanda!
179
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:28,519
It's a coffee bean, Mummy.
180
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:29,639
Just give it a stir.
181
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,000
Right, Manus, let's ride!
182
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,160
Do you do wine?
183
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,559
March 2022.
184
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:42,679
Bin it.
185
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,799
Ugh.
It's bad enough that I'm grounded -
186
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,359
now you're making me do this?
187
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,759
I'm sorry but you're getting
no sympathy from me, Darius.
188
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,039
If you hadn't... Ah, Jesus!
189
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,639
A mouse has gotten into me pankos.
190
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,639
I only showed the picture
to a couple of mates,
191
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,079
and it weren't even my real bumhole.
192
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,919
Yeah, well, you're going to have to
learn the hard way, aren't ya?
193
00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:01,520
Pfft. Speaking of which - it's time
we saw how our pot plant was going.
194
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,039
Bloody hell!
195
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,199
Oi, oi, oi!
196
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,839
All right. Watch your language. OK.
197
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,280
Shit the fucking bed.
198
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,239
That's been retweeted 40,000 times.
199
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,799
And there's 296 comments.
200
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,759
"How do you get your peace lily
looking so healthy?"
201
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,999
"Do you water it every day?"
202
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,959
God!
203
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,239
I've never been so popular.
204
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,079
I'm going to have to reply to these.
205
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,079
Keep going with the cleaning,
Darius!
206
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,560
You're still on probation.
207
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,879
Right. Let's get the other door off.
208
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,479
So, we go lefty-loosey,
righty-tighty.
209
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:38,839
Oh, that's good. Yeah.
210
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,199
Wait, did you come up with that?
211
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,999
No. My grandad taught it to my dad,
and he taught it to me.
212
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,039
Now I'm teaching it to Ned. Oh!
213
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,199
Right, so if you want to start
on the left side,
214
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,079
me and Ned'll do the right.
215
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,439
Give us a shout if you need a hand.
216
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,799
I'd have killed for a shed
like this when I was a teenager.
217
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,759
Somewhere to chill, some Magic FM,
218
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,519
set up the Warhammer...
219
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,239
Hm! How were we married
to the same woman?
220
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,759
What is that?
221
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,119
Oh, this? It is an impact driver.
222
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:06,519
I didn't know you were into DIY.
223
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,639
Oh, I'm not, really,
224
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:11,519
but it was on sale and I can't
resist a "Which?" Best Buy.
225
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,079
Do you want a go? Oh, no,
I'm good with the screwdriver.
226
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,039
I got this kit when my grandad died.
227
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,519
Right, you watching this, Ned?
228
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,359
You just line this up
straight with...
229
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:20,679
WHIRRING
Can't we just use JJ's drill thingy?
230
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:21,759
It looks way quicker.
231
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,199
Can't you just concentrate?
232
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,279
What?
233
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,559
Left side done. See?
234
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:27,759
Wow.
235
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,719
Want me to start
on the inside whilst I wait?
236
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,439
Oh, boys!
237
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,079
I brought you some
home-made lemonade.
238
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,159
Nice.
239
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,399
Rather fancy!
240
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,599
Thanks. Oh, it's just a little
something I rustled up.
241
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,999
This is Sprite.
242
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,399
Mmm.
243
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,559
Um, are you sure you want to
get rid of this?
244
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:44,799
It's in really good nick.
245
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,039
Oh, no, take it.
246
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,559
I just used it for the occasional
soiree in the garden
247
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,799
during lockdown.
248
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,719
But most of my friends
have sadly left us.
249
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,279
Oh, no, that's awful. I'm sorry.
250
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,639
No, they didn't die.
251
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,320
They just moved to the
Cayman Islands when Labour got in.
252
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,799
Oh.
WHIRRING
253
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,559
Um, don't feel like you have to
wait out here in the cold with us.
254
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,079
No, it's fine.
255
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,079
I love watching men at work.
256
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,799
Heads!
257
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,359
Oh! Whoa!
258
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,759
That's the front done.
259
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,200
What next?
260
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,680
WHIRRING
261
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,439
Ellie, babe.
We're out of Aesop in the loo.
262
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,479
Oh, cheers.
Did you want another coffee?
263
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:28,719
Yes, please.
264
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,239
Although I am very
tempted by your matcha.
265
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,279
Matcha comin' atcha.
266
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,439
Oh, that's good.
267
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,639
You've got to put that
on the chalk board, Ellie.
268
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,159
PHONE VIBRATES
269
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,919
Oh, God, give me a break.
270
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,199
That your boss?
271
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,319
Oh, no.
That's just the guy I collab with.
272
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:44,519
My co-collaber.
273
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,519
No, I'm a digital nomad.
274
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,959
To paraphrase the song - wherever
I lay my laptop, that's my office.
275
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,639
I'll leave you to it, then.
Yeah, if you don't mind,
276
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,920
cos I've actually got
a huge deadline so...
277
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,400
SHE SIGHS LOUDLY
278
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:02,280
SHE CLEARS THROAT
279
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,399
Oh, by the way,
my, er, latest post on the cafe
280
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,199
got a lot of traction yesterday,
281
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,959
so expect a bit of a flurry.
282
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,839
Great, cos we've just had these in.
283
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:14,999
Oh, yeah?
284
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,079
Oh, wow!
285
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,959
Hello! What's this?
286
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,759
It's a "macaronut".
287
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,159
A macaroni doughnut?
288
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,960
No, no, it's a macaron
and a doughnut.
289
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:26,799
That makes more sense.
290
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,679
Yeah. Sorry...
291
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:31,559
I do need to concentrate,
so if you could just...
292
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,039
Thank you.
293
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,839
LAUGHTER AND CHATTER OUTSIDE
294
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,359
All right, love!
Hello, how are you?!
295
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,959
This is my new furbaby! Fi!
296
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,199
Hello!
297
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,719
Oh, my God!
That's my good friend Fi.
298
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,879
You know Della Fry, the chef?
That's her wife.
299
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,199
She's a lesbian.
300
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,159
Fi! You coming for a coffee?
301
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,319
Hey, Mands.
302
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,759
I was just about to go and
meet my, er, dog walking pals...
303
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,239
Get in here! Come on.
304
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,879
You've got to try one of
these insane matchas.
305
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,519
BOBBY WHINES
Oh, my goodness, Bobby! Er...
306
00:10:58,520 --> 00:10:59,839
Welcome!
307
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:02,799
Oh, my God! Yeah! I know!
It's great, isn't it? Yeah.
308
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,239
No, I'm really pleased with it.
309
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,719
Oh, yeah! Now, Fi. Yep?
310
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,919
Let me get a shot of you
for the 'gram with a macaronut.
311
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,239
Yeah. Oh, a macaroni doughnut?
312
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,679
No, it's a macaron
and a doughnut, Fi.
313
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,799
Oh! Obviously.
FI LAUGHS
314
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,239
That's OK.
315
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,279
Oops, sorry!
316
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,919
Yeah, here we go.
317
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:20,759
Really? That face?
318
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,919
Yeah. OK, no, no, it's fun.
CAMERA SHUTTER
319
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,159
Oh, yes!
320
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,839
Right. I'm just going to upload
that to the socials...
321
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,279
Hello!
322
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:31,479
I thought I'd do a quick video
about how I care for my peace lily.
323
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,079
That sounds just like Anne.
324
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,719
It is Anne. That's her wedding ring.
325
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,359
...doing well...
And I'm sure that's her bedroom.
326
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,639
First every day I check for
dry dead leaves. What's going on?
327
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,479
Oh, my God, is this the Irish lady
with the plants?
328
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,839
I mean, good for her
for having a go, but...
329
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:47,559
...please, Anne, come on -
LEAVE it to the professionals.
330
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:48,719
SHE LAUGHS
331
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,039
That's so embarrassing.
332
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,479
This one's got over a million views!
333
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,679
Yeah, right.
334
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,319
No, it does. It's over a million.
335
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,959
What? Yeah.
336
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,599
People love her.
337
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,159
How's that got a million views?
338
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,159
It's just some little fat hands
and a plant.
339
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,079
Has she done any more?
Yeah, look - this one.
340
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,359
It's got over four mil -
and she only posted it last night.
341
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,759
Wow!
342
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,959
Anne's the new
"Charlie bit my finger"!
343
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,720
That's crazy!
344
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:18,640
Oh, God, Bobby.
345
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,239
Right, let's get this thing built.
346
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,999
So, you just grip it at the end,
347
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,319
and give it a nice
controlled swing like so.
348
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,319
Coo-ee! It's only me.
349
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,479
Oh, God.
350
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:31,719
Georgie let me in.
351
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,639
You left this little box
of bits behind,
352
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,480
and I thought it might be important.
353
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,319
You really didn't have to come
all this way, you know, Felicity.
354
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,320
Just checking in
on my favourite workmen.
355
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:43,519
As you were.
356
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,119
Ah! There we are.
357
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,959
All right, er, so, remember, Ned,
358
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,639
you hold the hammer
at the bottom of the handle,
359
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,919
and you just let gravity
do the work.
360
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,279
Oi, JJ - is that a nail gun?
361
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:54,559
Er, yeah.
362
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,439
I saw it in Screwfix,
so I thought, "Treat yourself."
363
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,879
We have very different
definitions of "treats".
364
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,999
Can I have a go? No! Come on!
365
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,879
What? This is what woodwork
is all about. This.
366
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,119
Not these fancy guns and tools.
367
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,279
Sorry. All right - concentrate.
368
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,600
OK, here we go.
369
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,360
NAIL GUN PUMPS
370
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,799
BANG
Argh!
371
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,359
Ooh! Are you OK, mate?
372
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,799
I've got a first aid kit in the car.
373
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,959
No, I'm all right.
374
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,960
OK. Just need to not breathe
for a bit.
375
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,719
Amanda! Hey, Anne.
376
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:31,839
Are you OK?
377
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,159
Yeah, I just feel like
we haven't connected in ages,
378
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,719
and I was just passing.
379
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,799
I'm just putting the twins to bed.
380
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,040
Oh, that's OK.
Just stick 'em in front of a Bluey.
381
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,080
The cartoon. The cartoon...
382
00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:46,319
Oh, God.
383
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,279
Really sweet and shabby...
Yeah. ..and grubby and...
384
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:50,839
Oh!
385
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:51,880
SHE LAUGHS
386
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,519
I know bed times are hard, Anne,
but that's a bit drastic!
387
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:56,799
SHE LAUGHS
388
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,079
I just got sent it
out of the blue by some company.
389
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,079
They make their own
cucumber and aloe gin.
390
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,599
Sounds like a shower gel.
391
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,079
Why are they sending it to you?
392
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,159
Oh, well, they saw
an Insta film I made
393
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:09,319
about an aloe plant that I rescued
from the clearance shelf in B&Q,
394
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,959
and, er, they thought I'd like it.
395
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,919
That's just stupid.
396
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,279
I-Is that not that how
Senuous works?
397
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:18,039
Like that time you got sent, er,
four boxes of mouthwash?
398
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,279
No, that's totally different, Anne.
Oh.
399
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:21,719
Now, listen,
400
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:25,079
I've been working as an influencer
for quite some time now
401
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,759
and do you know what I don't have?
402
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,559
Followers? No, Anne.
403
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,719
A mentee.
404
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,559
I'm a mentor without a mentee,
405
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,359
and I think you might just be
that mentee, for me.
406
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:35,759
Oh, um...
407
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,319
Now, you've got to undo all those
bad habits you've picked up.
408
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:39,919
Back to basics.
409
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,439
Make-up. Oh, but it's only
my hands that are in shot.
410
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,159
I usually do my posts first thing,
411
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,719
so, most of the time I'm just
straight out of the shower...!
412
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,999
Anne, creating content
isn't just a hobby -
413
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,399
it's a way of life. Mm, mm. OK?
414
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,839
I think you need to be a bit more
respectful of my culture.
415
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,799
Um...
416
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,079
My apologies to your people.
417
00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,719
Mm-hm. Yeah. Yeah.
418
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,160
Come on!
419
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,359
I just love plants.
420
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,839
Nature really gets me in the feels,
you know?
421
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,199
Yes, you can't beat
a bit of green fingering.
422
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,399
Watch this.
423
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,399
And just to add,
if you're vibing with this,
424
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,920
then like and subscribe to Senuous
for more inspiring content.
425
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:20,119
Oh, wow!
Meghan Markle eat your heart out.
426
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,399
You think? So good.
427
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,519
It's so good! It's quite
a departure from my usual posts.
428
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,359
Anne, this will have boosted
your viewing figures no end.
429
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:31,439
Well, um, according to the analytics
they've actually dropped off a bit.
430
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:32,919
Let me see.
431
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:37,039
That's about 70,000 less
than my previous three posts.
432
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,879
Oh, well. Anne, that's just numbers.
433
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,679
Rome wasn't built in a day.
434
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,719
OK. That's the problem with
the new gen of influencers.
435
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,279
They expect overnight success.
436
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,959
Mmm. I think you should just go
back to doing that, Anne, love.
437
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,199
Honestly. No offence, Mands.
438
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,599
Abigail, with the greatest respect,
this is my forte,
439
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,239
and I'm imparting my extensive
expertise for free
440
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,279
to my friend who's struggling.
441
00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,719
So, you just stick to the...
442
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,320
Running a food bank.
443
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,319
Please stop virtue-signalling.
It's just...
444
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:07,679
SHE LAUGHS
445
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,119
I gave you guys £3,000,
446
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,720
you don't hear me shoehorning it
into every conversation.
447
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:19,160
She literally gave me
a seven-foot cheque.
448
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:28,959
Oh! Jeez Louise,
it's cold out there.
449
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,559
It's all right for you. You ain't
got to go out in bleedin' shorts.
450
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:32,879
Should've brought my thermals.
451
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:34,599
Oh, God, Bobby.
452
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,400
Ugh!
PHONE VIBRATES
453
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,799
Ugh...
Is your mum all right, Amanda?
454
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,039
Yeah, she's fine.
455
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,679
I mean, she never really
got over John Lewis
456
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:45,879
reducing their loyalty points,
but otherwise she's all right.
457
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,359
She's constantly in my garden.
458
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,439
My garden.
459
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,839
Do you think she
might be a bit lonely?
460
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,279
Lonely? My mother? Yeah.
461
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,279
Please.
462
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,399
She should get a dog
if she's lonely.
463
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,319
No, Fi! I was lonely without Dells,
then I got a dog,
464
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:03,279
and I met loads of new dog-walking
pals, and I'm no longer lonely.
465
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,439
Fi, that makes you sound
really lonely.
466
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,479
Guys, my mother's not lonely.
467
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,799
Honestly, she's got a more active
social life than I do.
468
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,799
She's basically brunching her way
through my inheritance.
469
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,439
Don't you worry about her.
470
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,679
Then why is she currently
sat on my front step
471
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,319
waiting for me to let her in
like a stray cat?
472
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,319
It's freezing out there.
473
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,959
Fine. I'll have a word.
474
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,719
Thank you.
475
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,119
Oh, look, it's Pippa's mummy!
476
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:31,159
Maggie! Look who I'm with!
477
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,519
Who's this? She is a massive,
massive fan of yours.
478
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,159
Oh! Yeah! Come and look at this.
479
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,319
Come on, Pippa! Here we go.
480
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,359
Are you the lady from Insta?
481
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,639
Guilty as charged.
THEY LAUGH
482
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:47,959
My fiddle-leaf tree has
never looked so healthy.
483
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,599
I love your accent, by the way.
484
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,799
Oh, thank you.
485
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,879
Oh, wait, wait, we have to
Facetime my friend Sarah.
486
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,719
She loves you too! Yeah!
487
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,479
You're a proper celeb now, Anne!
CALL CONNECTING
488
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,039
Hi - you're not going to
believe who I'm with!
489
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,959
Oh, my God!
Is that who I think it is?!
490
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,479
Fi, what is going on with your dog?
491
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,239
Every time it sees me it does that.
492
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,839
You think? Yes.
493
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,559
Your dog clearly fancies me.
494
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:09,879
But it might be worms, Mand.
495
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,319
It's not worms, Fi.
496
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,199
I've seen this before.
497
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,519
Albeit on human men,
but it's definitely a thing.
498
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,999
Oh, my God, can you
say begonia? "Bergonia".
499
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,080
MAGGIE SQUEALS
500
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,399
Hey, girl!
501
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,519
Busy today, I see. Hmm.
502
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,039
My posts must be kicking in.
503
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,719
I'll get the usual. Sure.
504
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:35,439
And... an almond croissant.
505
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,359
I shouldn't-couldn't-wouldn't,
but...
506
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:39,519
You know what? I'll actually get
a couple of extra for the kids.
507
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,399
Sure. Just while I've got you,
508
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,679
did you want to settle up your tab?
509
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,719
I just thought, cos it's coming up
towards the end of the week...
510
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:45,999
AMANDA LAUGHS
511
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,679
That's good. A tab.
512
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,479
SHE SCOFFS
513
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,160
RECEIPT PRINTS
Oh you're not joking.
514
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,079
There you go.
515
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,319
This is £270.
516
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,959
Hmm? You said my drinks were gratis.
517
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,759
I said the first coffee was gratis.
518
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,999
Yeah, "gratissss".
519
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,759
Ssss. Plural.
520
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,799
You can see why I thought
it was more than one.
521
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,479
Er, not really.
522
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,559
It is the plural of the Latin
word "gratia",
523
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,239
but in English it functions
in an invariable form.
524
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,879
Don't patronise me, sweetheart.
525
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,839
I'm not - I did a classics degree.
526
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,999
You want to talk Latin,
let's talk Latin, OK?
527
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,119
Prid quo pro, Ellie.
528
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:28,279
I have been doing a lot of work
for you on the socials.
529
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,279
Do you have any idea
how much word of mouth
530
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,279
I've generated for you, my love?
531
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:36,239
Well, clearly not enough, because
you're our only customer. Oh!
532
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,519
Low blow, Ellie. Low blow.
533
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:39,999
No need to make this personal.
534
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,719
It's the opposite of making
it personal, Amanda.
535
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:42,999
I'm trying to run a business.
536
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,639
Well, maybe if you didn't
charge £4.50 for a coffee
537
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,960
with a vagina on top.
It's a coffee bean.
538
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,599
That's for today's drink,
and you're not getting a penny more.
539
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,920
And I'm taking a scone, gratia.
540
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,800
That's going on your tab!
541
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,239
All right, so the secret
is to tidy as you go.
542
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,719
So, grab the broom.
543
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:06,959
That's going to take ages.
544
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,079
Thank you, Felicity.
545
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,959
If you could just leave us to it.
546
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,319
There you are!
547
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,479
Oh, look - Amanda's home.
548
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,399
Maybe you want to hang out
in her flat, Felicity.
549
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:15,839
No, I'm fine.
550
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,399
Er...! You are not going to believe
what just happened to me.
551
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,559
Did someone just guess
your real age? No, Mal.
552
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,079
The woman in Vantablack Coffee -
553
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,959
she just asked me to pay for every
single item I've consumed this week.
554
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,919
Only you would be shocked by that.
555
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,039
Well, there's no such thing
as a free lunch, darling.
556
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,679
There's no such thing
as a free shed.
557
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,240
Do you know what? Forget it.
558
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,399
Er, Amanda? Can you, erm...?
559
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,800
Not now, Mal. I am enraged.
560
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,400
WHIRRING
561
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,439
Yo, JJ! That looks way more fun!
562
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,479
Let me have a go.
563
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,079
You know what?
564
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,519
I give up.
565
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,359
I don't know why I bother.
566
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:53,320
Is he...? Is he all right?
567
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,279
Mal, you in here?
568
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:58,679
You all right, mate?
569
00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,999
Yeah, I'm fine.
570
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,479
Cool, it's just...
571
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,240
...that's a lot of sriracha.
572
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,479
HE SIGHS
573
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,239
I know it's stupid,
574
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,559
but all of those lessons
my dad taught me,
575
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,079
like how to chisel
and use a screwdriver -
576
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,199
kids these days just
don't need to know that.
577
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,519
Like using an A to Z
or the Yellow Pages.
578
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,399
It's just... useless information.
579
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,959
You're spending time with him,
580
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,039
showing him how to solve problems.
581
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,399
My dad spent years
teaching me how to code.
582
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,439
Nobody needs to learn
how to code any more.
583
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,799
AI can do it in, like, a nanosecond.
584
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:34,680
Hmm. But I'm still glad
I spent time with him. Yeah?
585
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,879
Yeah, I should probably
apologise to him, eh? Yeah.
586
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,879
And then, um...
587
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,759
...do you want to
have a go on my nail gun?
588
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:44,799
Fuck yeah.
589
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,120
JJ LAUGHS
590
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:49,959
Mm...
591
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,679
Oh, OK, let me get some water...
592
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,600
It's burning! Agh, it's burning. Mm!
593
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,159
Hi, Amanda. What's this?
594
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,319
Sorry, but you gave me
no choice but to name and shame.
595
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,439
That's illegal.
Do you know what else is illegal?
596
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:18,639
Not paying your bill.
597
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,919
Take it down.
598
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,239
No. Not until you've paid.
599
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,799
Ellie, are you...?!
600
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,439
It is £270!
601
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,479
Amanda, you're lucky
I haven't gone to the police.
602
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:28,839
You're lucky
I haven't called my lawyer.
603
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:29,919
Do you even have a lawyer?
604
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,239
Yes, I do have a lawyer,
Ellie, actually,
605
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,240
and I'm going to call them
right now.
606
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,039
Yeah. Hi. It's Amanda Hughes,
607
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,440
and I'd like to speak
to my solicitor, please.
608
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,279
They're putting me through.
609
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:48,559
Last chance, Ellie.
610
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:49,680
No.
611
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,119
Yeah. Hi. It's Amanda,
612
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,880
and I...
PHONE VIBRATES
613
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,719
He got cut off,
he's calling me back.
614
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,399
I can see the caller ID.
It's your mum.
615
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,199
Yes.
616
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,519
She's my lawyer.
617
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,080
No, she's not.
618
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,079
I can't actually afford
to pay you right now.
619
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,560
How are you going to
settle this bill, then?
620
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,039
And... action.
621
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,039
Whenever I'm in SoHa,
622
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:25,839
I like to enjoy a coffee
from Vantablack Coffee.
623
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,399
And... cut.
624
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,599
Great.
625
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,239
OK? Yeah.
626
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,839
Right. I'm just going to post
this on your Insta, Anne.
627
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:34,919
Why is there a willy and balls
on my coffee?
628
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,159
It's not.
629
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:37,520
It's a shamrock.
630
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,199
Ah, Ned!
631
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,879
Backgammon? Chess? Cards?
632
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,720
I could make it interesting.
633
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,599
Amanda? Hmm? Play it cool.
634
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:00,959
Your boyfriend's just walked in.
635
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,160
Where?
636
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,359
ABS LAUGHS
637
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:05,879
Please don't make light of it,
Abigail.
638
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,439
I actually feel quite violated.
639
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,079
Hey, good news! Hi!
640
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,399
The vet's had a look at Bob's
bits'n'bobs... Right.
641
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,639
...and it turns out
he was obsessed with his privates
642
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,719
because he needed
his glands drained.
643
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,439
So, you are off the hook.
644
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,919
Oh, Mands. I'm sorry Bobby
doesn't fancy you.
645
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,639
Yeah, that's great news,
646
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,359
cos frankly, it was gross, so...
647
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:26,719
I'm glad!
THEY LAUGH
648
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:27,839
Good! Phew!
649
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,479
You OK, Anne? You all right?
650
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,599
Hi.
651
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:31,679
What's wrong?
652
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,439
I've had no end of grief
since that Vantablack post.
653
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,199
Everyone is accusing me
of being a Judas and a sell-out.
654
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,239
That's ridiculous.
655
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,239
How do they expect internet
artistes to make money?
656
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,639
Look at the comments.
657
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,559
"We came here for plant pot hacks,
658
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,879
"and now she's trying
to peddle us expensive coffee".
659
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,399
Well... And apparently I am "all
that is wrong with society", Amanda.
660
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,279
Haters gonna hate, Anne.
661
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,599
Y'know? Yeah, well,
I don't want to be hated.
662
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,199
So, I've gone back to my hands,
my voice, and my pot plants.
663
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,559
OK, Anne.
664
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:58,599
I should've never have messed
with the formula.
665
00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,719
Mum!
666
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,039
How could you? What?
667
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:02,919
After all those talks
of online safety,
668
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,199
and you go and flash
the entire internet.
669
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,079
What are you talking about?
That's just a Christmas cactus.
670
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,119
No, Mum.
671
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:10,839
Look at the pot!
672
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,119
Hmm? Oh, my God!
673
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:14,399
See - exactly.
674
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,199
You were worried about
some fake bumhole
675
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:17,879
and now everyone in the world
has seen my mum's tits!
676
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,880
FI GASPS
Oh, shit.
677
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:22,879
Symmetrical.
678
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,120
Good for you, Anne.
679
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:31,839
Yo, Ned.
680
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,399
You all right, Dad? Yeah.
681
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:34,959
You want to go
and hang out in the shed?
682
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,200
I mean, I would,
but it's infested with old ladies.
683
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:43,359
MUFFLED CHATTER
684
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:45,079
All right - I'll go and have a word.
685
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,239
You know what? I think Felicity
needs the shed more than I do.
686
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:49,360
Yeah.
687
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,559
All right, fine.
You can have my room.
688
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,279
Yeah!
689
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:59,279
Thank you, Dad. I love you so much!
Yeah, I love you too.
690
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:00,879
Cheers! Cheers! Cheers!
691
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:04,119
Oh, it's so nice to be somewhere
where the drinks are actually free.
692
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:06,919
Mm. Mummy, you know if you're
ever lonely, you just have to say.
693
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,759
Why would you ever
think I'd be lonely?
694
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:09,799
SHE LAUGHS
695
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:10,879
Mm.
696
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,519
Dammit! What's up, Anne?
697
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:13,599
Oh, God!
698
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,239
They've only gone and cancelled
my appearance on Alan Titchmarsh.
699
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,679
Oh, Anne. Yeah.
700
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,599
I wish I'd never gone on
that feckin' Insta.
701
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,719
Hey, all publicity's good publicity.
702
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,479
Tell that to Prince Andrew.
703
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,759
Right. Can we all do a selfie?
704
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,319
The Summer House Gang?
705
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,359
Yes! Oh, Mummy! Sweet, yes.
706
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:33,999
OK, where is it, where is it?
OK, just a second.
707
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,119
OK.
708
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:36,839
Anne, your tit's out again. Oh, God!
709
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,759
I'm joking, Anne! I'm joking.
710
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:39,999
CAMERA SHUTTER
711
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,159
Ooh!
712
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,559
Oh, look at me! That's fantastic!
713
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:43,679
I just need some more ice.
714
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,199
Will you watch Bobby for me?
Yep. Thanks.
715
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,399
BOBBY WHINES
716
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,479
All right, Bobby?
717
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,279
Ugh!
718
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,120
You little perv.
719
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,080
Still got it.
51766
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof