All language subtitles for House M.D. - 8x13 - Man of the House.HDTV.LOL.en

Let's get back
to Phil and Diane.

Phil's been having
a hard time finding work,

and Diane wants him
to talk to her

about his fear,
his disappointment.

And Phil wants Diane
to trust him

that they'll
get through this,

ideally, without having to keep
discussing feelings.

Not your exact words,
but am I wrong?

And most guys out there
are the same way,

but ladies, if you're
feeling frustrated,

remember,
it's not our fault.

We were raised to be strong,
not emotional,

to deny vulnerability,
not embrace it.

And do you know
what that makes us?

Dinosaurs.

Nobody needs us

to hunt
wild animals for food.

Nobody needs us to cut down
trees to build shelter.

They need us to evolve,
to catch up.

Since the 1960s, women's roles
have shifted radically.

And as--uh, as their--
in--as their roles have changed,

so have women, they've--
they've, uh--

well, they've
become tougher,

and more demanding of us.

They're partners.

And--and--who can blame them?
Who--who can--

who can, uh...

expecting us to...

to do this...

Joe! Joe!

Joe!

Joe.

We need an ambulance.

♪ House 8x13 ♪
Man of the House
Original air date on February 20, 2012

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
[Massive Attack's Teardrop]

You want?

I'm good.

Your limp's almost gone.

It pains me to interrupt
the collegial banter,

it pains me even more
to listen to it continue.

38-year-old man.

Spikes a fever and collapses
during a speaking engagement.

E.R. checks out
blood volume,

cardiac function, and autonomic
reflexes, all normal.

Patient makes a living telling
men to behave more like women.

I'm surprised you didn't
throw psych symptoms

into the differential.

Either way,
could be a cerebral AVM.

E.R. did a head CT.
No sign of AVM.

Decent thought, though.

The patient's philosophy
makes perfect sense.

Its only flaw is that
it's impossible.

Evolution does not
work that way.

You can't talk legs
onto a fish.

We're gonna go extinct,

and we're gonna do it drinking
scotch and driving muscle cars.

Am I right?

Am I--thank you.

Cephalic fibromuscular
dysplasia?

It doesn't explain
the fever.

The patient's talking
about compromise.

If you don't think
that's possible,

you don't think
relationships are possible.

Anyone in this room
in a position to disprove that?

This guy's just
playing to his audience.

Women are, by far,
the biggest consumers

of the self-help
industry.

He could have
a pulmonary embolism.

Clot in his lung increases
right ventricular afterload,

drops the blood flow
to his brain.

We should do
a pulmonary angiogram.

Patient lacks major
risk factors for a P.E.

Doesn't rule it out,
just makes it unlikely.

Maybe we start
with a D-dimer?

Less invasive
than the angiogram.

Good idea.

Fine.

Now, I am hereby
searching for a number two.

So I'm eating a lot of Bran.

Also, I want a team leader.

Someone to fill
Foreman's old job.

Why?

You're right. We don't need
any more structure.

It's not like we had
a near-fatal stabbing.

Well, if it isn't
the old ball and Ukraine.

Who's that?

His wife.

Dominika.
House.

You survived prison.

And you Atlantic City,

where they also have
gangs and pruno,

but slightly less
recidivism.

I start Ukrainian
food truck business.

After gambling--win, lose--
everybody likes a little knish.

You're here, and I seem
to remember throwing out

a bunch of certified letters
from immigration.

I'm assuming there's
a connection.

Our green card interview
is in four days.

They come to the apartment,

they ask questions
about marriage,

vacations, family history,

what side of the bed
each sleep on.

We've never taken
a vacation,

I don't like your family,
and on top.

I hear Kiev is lovely
this time of year.

And your mother,
who may or may not be dead,

for all I know,
misses you.

Can it be that genius doctor
is afraid to take on

a silly government
apparatchik?

Well, I would say more
not interested than afraid,

but why quibble?

Then I go to plan "B."

Make you an offer
that cannot be refused.

How long you been
doing seminars?

The marriage counseling,
just, uh, the past couple years.

Before that,
I did corporate coaching.

Can't imagine the same advice
works for both audiences.

Guess you shifted
with the market?

There's nothing cynical
about my husband. He and I--

No, it's okay.
I get it.

What guy thinks men
should be more like women?

A macho jerk who got
a big wake-up call

courtesy of three drunks
who beat the crap outta me

outside a sports bar
in Milwaukee.

I'm guessing that
explains the broken wrist

in your medical
history?

Those morons did me
the biggest favor of my life.

I realized I'd sacrificed

my health because
I couldn't back down

from an argument
over football.

Meeting Marlene was
the final piece in the puzzle.

She changed
my career, my diet.

She gave me a whole new
direction in life.

We'll need to know exactly
how you changed your diet,

and when.

Need my apartment key back.

If you're breaking up
with me,

can we at least
talk about it first?

Maybe if you weren't
all nag and no shag.

I don't sleep
with married men.

I'll get a copy made.

You're an ex-con.

If you get caught perjuring
yourself to Homeland Security,

you'll end up
back in jail.

And that would be
troubling if there was

the slightest chance
that we'd get caught.

You barely know
each other.

You've got about five minutes
to remake yourselves

into a convincing
married couple.

And why?

Dominika gets a green card.
What's in this for you?

This is what men do for
the women they pretend to love.

Also, she's paying me
30,000 bucks once we pass.

Apparently knishes
sell like hotcakes.

Lab results.

Afraid you're gonna
have to finish your nag later.

I said I think
it's stupid, right?

Then I think I'm done.

D-dimer came back normal.
Rules out pulmonary embolism.

And our patient's
a true believer

about the follies
of masculinity.

He underwent a spiritual
overhaul three years ago.

He also went off
gluten and red meat.

Unfortunately, that doesn't
explain any of his symptoms.

One of those points
is not absurd.

What's absurd about
a change of heart?

What this guy believes
is making him a better person.

He's going against
his baser instincts.

"Base" meaning
foundational.

Meaning things we are
biologically programmed to do.

Yes, perfectly natural that
he stopped doing that stuff.

You know,
that's the kind of lapse

that could take you out of
the running for team leader.

I feel surprisingly
okay with that.

Comes with
a 50-buck-a-week raise.

I'm in.

You don't want
to do that.

Might need your
dignity later in life.

You didn't.

And she could be on her way
to living the dream

unless the rest of you
nut up and give her--

this spiritual overhaul...

Did it come after
a physical overhaul?

A major injury
of some kind?

Bar fight.

But there's no way
a broken wrist explains--

Adams, come with me.

You too.

You guys...

Get a copy of that made.

Did those dudes bend your
ball sack like Beckham?

Three years ago.
The bar fight.

This is Dr. House.
He has a theory.

Oh, Dr. Adams,
would you mind?

I asked you a question.
I assume you know the answer.

Yeah, I took a couple
serious knees to the groin.

Wha--

what has gotten into me?

Dr. Chase.

Just pick it up.

Do you know what's
wrong with me?

Nothing that
The Golden Girls

couldn't have handled
in 23 hilarious minutes.

You had a hot flash.

Those guys
kicked your guys

hard enough to do
lasting damage.

You didn't even look
when presented

with two reasonably
attractive tuchi.

Yeah, I said it!

I was listening
to my doctor.

People generally
listen with their ears,

leaving their eyes
free to wander.

I'm guessing that
your testosterone level

is just below "Bieber."

Do a blood test to confirm,
and STT hormone replacement.

It's no wonder that you
think women are so great.

You've basically been one
for the last three years.

Tests confirm
House is right.

Low testosterone
explains all your symptoms.

They should go away
with replacement therapy.

Uh, we're gonna give you
a fairly high dose.

Over time,
your personal physician

may reduce it a little.

Just need you
to turn around.

Will the shots
increase his libido?

Are you worried
about that?

No.

Have you been
unsatisfied?

No. No, it's just...

Well, it's usually me
that initiates things.

Sometimes I--

I think maybe you aren't
that attracted to me.

Are you crazy?

With these injections, you will
see an increase in sex drive.

Okay, great.
Yeah.

Okay.

All done.
Okay.

Oh, something's wrong.

I think I peed myself.

Is that from
the testosterone?

It couldn't be.

I don't think you're
going home just yet.

It's not
a plumbing problem.

Means it's probably
neurological.

And?

And name Dominika's
three brothers.

Uh...

Volodymyr, Oleksiy, and...

Low testosterone is off
the table as a symptom.

Guy got his nuts cracked
three years ago.

Don't need to look
much further than that.

So his hose just happens
to spring a leak

at the same time
he's in a hospital

for a totally
unrelated problem.

Fjodor.

It's Fedir.

If low testosterone means

I can't get sick
with something else,

then punch me
in the junk right now.

I would,
if it weren't redundant.

Is Fedir the one
who married Mykola?

Mykola is Dominika's uncle.

How is it you can
retain every detail

of our habits
and personal lives,

and none of this?

'Cause I find it hard
to remember things

I don't give a crap about.

Ergo, Dominika has one brother,
and his name is Al.

Maybe the testicular damage set
the stage for something worse.

Multiple Sclerosis
causes incontinence,

and progresses faster
in men with low T.

Way to stay on point.

It's that kind
of leadership

that's putting you
at the head of the pack.

There is no pack.
She's the only applicant.

Well, that's settled, then.

Have your underlings
do an LP

and get a cranio-spinal MRI

to check for plaques
associated with M.S.

I will go tell Foreman
about your promotion.

Wait.

So nobody cares about the job
till I apply, and suddenly

it's the last limited-edition
lightsaber at Comic-Con.

Just seems like it should
go to someone with more...

Seniority.

Meaning you.

I said "more,"
not "most."

Meaning you or Taub.

House is a dictator.

Second in command
is a meaningless position.

Doesn't look meaningless
on my resume.

Doesn't have to be
meaningless at all.

The right person could
turn it into something.

Get the department
running smoothly.

I wonder who
that "right person" could be.

House is the head
of the department.

It's only fair
that a woman

should hold the other
position of authority.

Yeah, let's go
affirmative action on this,

because then I'll
definitely win.

This is what House wants.

Wind us up and watch us
fight over an empty title,

which would make us
extra stupid

because of what
we've just been through.

We should let him choose
whoever he wants and move on.

So if these proteins
are in my spinal fluid,

that means I have M.S.?

Proteins may indicate M.S.

There's no one
definitive test.

That's why Dr. House
ordered an MRI as well.

This is anesthetic.

It's a scary diagnosis.

But advances
are being made.

Several drugs approved
just this year.

To be honest,
at the moment,

I'm feeling
a little more worried

about the testosterone
injections.

It's making me feel,
uh, different.

Just kind of amped.

I went through
this big life change,

and it felt really...

Meaningful.

But what if it was
all just chemistry?

Loss of testosterone
could have been a factor,

but think of it
as a catalyst.

It got you to reevaluate.
Now you know what's important.

You can choose
to hold onto that.

Right?

It's certainly
worth trying.

Deep breath,
stay very still.

Just tell House to drop
the whole team leader thing.

That's the only way
it'll go away.

I don't think it's
such a bad idea.

A little more structure in your
department couldn't hurt.

Yeah.

House is doing this because
of his great love of structure,

not because he wants us
to turn on each other.

So don't do that.

It makes sense to have
someone in there

with a little more
accountability.

As long as
it's not Adams.

She sees the whole thing
as an opportunity

to remake the department
in her image.

Or Park,
for obvious reasons.

And Taub's got the kids.
He's pretty busy.

Are you seriously angling

for a job that you mocked its
fate the whole time I had it?

I don't want the job.

You just don't want
anyone else to have it.

This'll be great.

Your grandmother's
kind of sexy.

That is Taras Shevchenko,
the greatest Ukrainian poet.

Is he the guy behind

"There once was a man
from Kremenchuk"?

Help me move coffee table.

Well, then where
will we have coffee?

And by "coffee"
I mean scotch.

Coffee and booze
are artificial high for me.

High is in exercise.

[Plays Amy Grant's
Every Heartbeat]

♪

Dance aerobics.
Fun, and good for the butt.

♪ Hear me speak
what's on my mind ♪

Whoo!

♪ Let me give
this testimony ♪

Amy Grant?

I know.

But there's a hot girl

jumping up and down
in my living room, so...

♪ No exceptions--

Aww!

You have a limited
amount of time

to learn a ton
of uninteresting facts.

Welcome to my wheelhouse.

You brought a protractor?

You never know when you might
need to make a pie chart.

Looks like someone

is currying favor
for the team leader position.

Yes.

We'll be using a basic
alphabet technique

with a mnemonic multiplier.

In high school, they called me
"The Bookie Monster."

Pop quiz. Where did you get
the candlesticks?

On three.
One, two, three.

- Morocco.
- Denver.

Drink up.

It's gonna be
a long night.

You really think
this guy's gonna hulk out

once the hormones kick in?

Some male lizards
do push-ups to attract mates.

When scientists gave them
extra testosterone,

they did push-ups
until they died.

Same drive you
took advantage of to get Chase

to carry a box of files
down to your car yesterday.

Periventricular and subcortical
white matter are clean.

So you're saying masculinity
is ingrained and irrational.

I'm saying
it's pointless to try--

By extension,
you're also saying

femininity
is enlightened and rational.

It's the way
we should all be,

guys just
are incapable of it.

Brain stem and cord
are clean.

Is it okay
if I scratch my nose?

Go ahead.

Guess he doesn't have M.S.

Something's wrong.

Is it your hand?

No, it's my eyes.

I'm--I'm seeing double.

Smile. It's your honeymoon.

So what causes double vision on
top of all the other symptoms?

It's not a brain tumor or we
would've seen it on the scans.

Eye exam didn't offer
anything conclusive.

Let's do some winter shots.

Wardrobe change.

Thyroid eye disease
in conjunction with Graves.

Thyroid level was normal.

Check it out.

Simpson traded this
in exchange

for me helping out
on some of my days off.

Quite the display
of initiative and leadership.

But you're way too smart to fall
for a blatant bribe like that.

Or a blatant
flaunting of cleavage.

Like those.

What happened to not
letting House get to you?

You're like lemmings,

marching off the cliff
of competitive humiliation.

All I'm doing is my job.

House has indicated that
he considers me attractive.

There's nothing
wrong with me

using my strengths
to my advantage.

With an argument
like that,

maybe you should just drop
down to your knees and--

I mean, unless that's
not your strength.

Oh, big hug, big man.
It's cold out here.

At the risk of derailing

this very productive photo shoot
and bickering session,

what about
myasthenia gravis?

Extra-ocular muscle weakness
leads to double vision,

atonic bladder leads
to incontinence.

Could've been triggered
when his T got really low.

Ooh, a little one.

He'd be a good pick.

Smooth.

You let the rest
of them compete,

tear each other to pieces,
then you swoop in with a save.

Start the patient on IVIG
and plasmapheresis.

Can you handle that,
please?

I need a minute.

Well, make it quick.

We're doin' Memphis.

You think you want this,
but it's a bad idea.

I was gonna go Dollywood,

but I'm not sure
I could off that wig.

Everybody was
playing nice,

and in your world,
nice doesn't solve cases,

but after what happened,

a little bonding
is a good thing.

We still have ideas,
we still argue.

Maybe it could work better
if we appreciate each other.

That was impressive.

You said that whole thing
without once moving your lips.

The ones you're
not moving.

Oh. I get it.

I won't play along
with your stupid games,

so I'm no longer a man.

Clever.

Actually, you won't play along
with my stupid games

because you're
no longer a man.

Still clever, though.

Studies have shown
that raising kids

lowers testosterone
levels in men.

The more involved you are,
the lower it gets.

Right.
Having kids has neutered me.

Or maybe it's helped me
finally grow up.

How are you feeling?

As long as I keep my eyes
closed, pretty good.

Really good, actually.

I got energy,
I feel confident, clear.

Testosterone does
tend to perk you up.

Hey, Hon.
I brought you a burger.

Really?

You're in the hospital.
Eat whatever you want.

You're the best wife ever.

And I'm not
just saying that

because of how great
your ass looks in those jeans.

I'm sorry.
That was--

No, it's okay.

Girl likes to know
she's appreciated.

Come here.

So I think we should
talk to Leading Lights

about seminars and DVDs.

Are you sure?

You were worried
about the commitment.

Yeah, there's no point in being
in business with them halfway.

You okay with that?

It's good to finally
have a decision.

Okay.

Fedir is the brother
she worries about the most.

Ever since Luba passed.

Sorry.

But this is the closest
we could find

to the cold, soulless offices
of a government bureaucracy.

If you're not using
your office, I will.

Does Dominika still communicate
with her high school friends?

Uh, Vasyl, yes.

Oksana, no.
Not since she kissed Pavlo.

'Cause that bitch knew
that Dominika liked him.

Wrong.

Oh, Oksana is a slut.
Dead to me.

The right answer
is the wrong answer.

No husband would pay
that much attention

to his wife's
friend dramas.

Haven't you been
divorced three times?

In-between those divorces,
I was married, non-fraudulently,

for 12 years total,

which is 12 years longer
than anyone in this room.

Move.

So are you going for
this team leader thing?

Probably.

You deserve it.

You have way more
experience than me.

You're giving up?

I wish.

I still have a lot
of med school debt,

and my parents need help
with their mortgage.

So I could kinda
use the money.

As of an hour ago, I'm just
seeing one of everything.

Looks like you guys
were right--

We'll be right back.

"I could use the money"?

You want to game me,
you gotta do better than that.

- Chase--
- You want to be a leader,

you have to know
how to manipulate.

You can't just spill--

I think the whites
of his eyes were yellow.

Everything okay?

Jaundice.

There's something
wrong with your liver.

Liver function tests
confirm his enzymes

are totally out of whack.

So much for
myasthenia gravis.

Can we hurry this up?

I have a government
to defraud at noon.

If you need to leave,
you should.

I'm fairly confident
our patient's got sarcoidosis.

Wow, you said that
with so much authority.

Did anyone else
get chills?

Just until I realized
our patient has

no sign of parenchymal
lung abnormalities,

which makes sarcoidosis
a long shot.

And bookkeeping isn't gonna
get you any farther than boobs.

Though in fairness, the boobs
were really, really helping.

I still think
it's myasthenia gravis.

Did you miss the recap?

We treated for that.
The liver tanked.

But his vision got better.

Liver problems could be
a sign of celiac.

He's been back on gluten
since he's been in the hospital.

Yesterday he had a burger.

That would've kicked
the celiac into gear,

causing the liver
problems.

So your theory is that
he has two unrelated diseases.

And he's already got
low testosterone.

I seem to remember something
about House hating coincidences.

It's true.

I think it's
Lyme Disease.

One single disease
named "Lyme."

Without a rash.

10% of cases present
without a rash.

Lyme Disease it is.

Start the patient
on antibiotics.

Now I have to get home before
my fake wife gets real annoyed.

Something bothering you?

I asked the nurse
for an extra pillow.

That was half an hour ago.

Sorry.

Things can get
pretty hectic.

It was a pillow.

I mean, how hard
can a pil--

listen to me.
I'm being a jerk.

Testosterone can give you
a shorter temper

even when
you're not sick.

You noticed and adjusted.
That's a good thing.

Hey.

Just got a call
from our lawyer.

You changed our counter
to leading lights?

You deserve proper billing

and a salary bump
in the second term.

We talked about this.

We decided it wasn't worth
potentially blowing the deal.

It'll be fine.

I've got to get
some work done.

These are such pretty flowers
you buy for me

every Friday,
from Japanese florist,

on corner of Edison
and Conway.

Just one more thing.

With this ring,
I thee wedded.

You left it here

when you skipped town
with your boyfriend.

You kept the rings.

Actually, I tried
to trade them to a hooker

for unspecified favors,

but it turns out
she doesn't accept zinc.

Like modern fairytale.

Dr. and Mrs. Gregory House?

Yeah.

Nate Weinmann.
U.S. Immigration.

Welcome to our home.

Give him time.

When I was 14,

there was a girl
I wanted to impress,

so I jumped off
the roof of her house.

Broke my ankle.

Joe's basically
going through puberty.

It'll take him
a while to adjust.

I-I tracked down a video

from one of Joe's
business coaching seminars

from before I knew him.

I'm hearing a lot
about the value of compromise.

We don't live
on Sesame Street.

We live in the real world,
the business world.

If you're not a winner,
you're a loser.

If you aren't
comfortable with that,

go open a pottery studio.

I never would have gone out
with the guy in this video.

Uh, do you remember
the last time she visited Vasyl?

Uh, let me see,
that would be...

August?

No. No, July.

'Cause I remember it was right
after our half-anniversary,

and I forgot to put
a gift in her suitcase.

And...I've never heard
the end of that one.

House specialty.

I made up this pun.

Is it--

Thank you.
Mm-hmm.

Honey, why do you
do this to me?

You know I'm
watching my weight.

Then maybe you'll
stop eating cheese

in front of open fridge
in middle of the night.

This is delicious.

Thank you.

So everything
looks good in here.

I'm just gonna step out and get
a corroborating interview

from one of the neighbors.

Neighbors?

It's--it's middle
of the day.

I-I-I think
everybody's at work.

Yeah, then they're at work.

I just got a form
to check off,

and you will be on your way
to permanent status.

'Scuse me, sir.

Do you have a minute?

How can I help you?

Do you know
Dr. and Mrs. House?

Of course,
they've been my neighbors

about two years, now.

Lovely couple.

I see them
almost every night.

They seem always
to be together.

Great, well,
thanks for your help.

Cheerio.

Hey, what're you doing?
That's my door.

Handing out menus
for a new Chinese place.

You're that guy
that plays noisy video games

with House
on Saturday nights.

There's a simple
explanation.

Be at my office
tomorrow at 10:00.

The patient's shown
zero improvement.

Because he's only been
on the antibiotics overnight.

Or because he doesn't
have Lyme Disease.

Where are you?

Oh, just chillin'.

U.S. citizenship
at immigration.

Waiting on my fraud interview
with my wife and my attorney.

- No big.
- House.

Hang up.

I still think it's
myasthenia gravis plus celiac.

His change in diet
has to be significant.

We just need to do
an intestinal biopsy to confirm.

With his low platelet count,
a biopsy puts him at risk

for an abdominal bleed,
which puts him at risk of death.

Either you're done,

or you're walking in there
without a lawyer.

I know,
it sounds like a phone,

but it's a timer to remind me
to pee before our meeting.

Hello, old chap.

You need to save yourself.

I was up last night

trying to find another angle,
but I can't.

Tell immigration you were
in love with Dominika,

but your marriage
fell apart,

and that's why you haven't
been living together.

She'll be deported
permanently.

House, I know
you like Dominika,

you have fun with her,
but you got caught.

There's no
getting out of this.

The best you could hope for is
that you don't go back to jail.

Tell my team to--
to skip the biopsy

and give the antibiotics
more time.

They're ready for us.

I drew a line in the sand,
and I won.

We should be celebrating.

Do you need a few minutes?

You're right.
I keep getting better.

That's just it.

You won.

You made a demand that
could've blown up the deal,

and you never
even asked me.

Deal didn't blow up.
They caved.

Joe, you say it
in your seminars.

Process matters
just as much as results.

Are you seriously
busting my chops

because I made one
little move without you?

How 'bout stepping aside
and letting me

be the man in this
relationship for a change?

I really can't talk
to you right now.

I don't know
why I said that.

Just--I got so angry.

Hopefully after this dose,

you'll start to feel better,
and we can get you home.

But I'd like to do
one more test.

The testimony of one angry,
nearsighted neighbor

shouldn't outweigh
all other evidence.

Photos, utility bills--

Yes, because your clients
would never fake anything.

Uh, we acknowledge the neighbor
thing was a mistake,

but that doesn't mean that
all of the other documentation

should just be thrown out.

Look, look, you know,
I get that it's your job

to try to act like there's
a case here, but shut up.

Okay.

USCIS will be denying

Miss Petrova's
green card application.

You'll be referred
to immigration court

for deportation
proceedings,

and we're gonna inform
your parole officer

about evidence of fraud.

So unless anybody
has anything else to add...

Please, I am begging,
do not send him back to jail.

Maybe we have not lived
together all these--

Mrs. House, I have to advise
you not to continue.

This man and I,

did we marry for love?

No.

But this past week,

we have a lot of fun.

Working really hard to fool
the U.S. government, right?

Don't answer that.

Way ahead of you.

It was fake, but...

It felt real.

Maybe because
it become real.

This man...

My husband.

I want to stay with him,
but if I cannot,

please send me away,
and let him be free.

I love him.

I didn't buy
a word you said.

But a judge might.

I'm gonna let you stay.

But for the next six months,
I'm gonna hold onto this file,

and our investigators
are gonna show up unannounced

at 6:00 a.m., 11:00 at night,
and they better find

the two of you sitting
on the couch watching NCIS

eating ice cream
from the same spoon.

Or both of you
will be sent to places

far less pleasant
than New Jersey.

What you just
said in there...

Don't worry.

I'm much too smart to be
falling in love with you.

I will be needing
extra shelf in bathroom.

Abdominal biopsy
showed flattened villi.

Looks like you were
right about celiac.

You do remember
Chase got stabbed

doing a test House
didn't order?

Good comparison,
since both patients

were tweaked on steroids.

You only did this to score
points over Chase and Park.

We were right.

I proved it, and the patient
didn't bleed out.

Why are you being
a jerk about this?

Let's go see
if House is back.

Patient's having
trouble breathing.

So much for celiac.

His breathing
is stabilized,

but his lung function is at 60%,
and his liver is tanking.

And he has major
symptoms of celiac

without actually
having celiac.

Could be Whipple's.

Doesn't explain
the incontinence.

Intestinal lymphoma?

Doesn't explain
the double vision.

Any time you
want to jump in.

Is dance aerobics
even a thing?

I hear it's good
for the butt.

What about
a parasitic infection?

Strongyloides is known
to damage the small intestine.

In this country,

he's about as likely
to get that as win Powerball.

Someone does win Powerball.
Every week.

The patient went to Puerto Rico
a few months ago.

One of the few places
in the U.S.

You could pick up
Strongyloides.

Treatment is Ivermectin.

We give that to someone
with liver problems,

he could have
seizures, or worse.

Do it.

I'm hearing a lot about
the value of compromise.

But we don't live
on Sesame Street,

we live in the real--

I was wondering if maybe
we overlooked a symptom,

or something.

Makes perfect sense.

If you're the patient,
and "pantywaist" is the symptom.

Adams and I both thought
the patient could have celiac,

but only she was willing to go
out on a limb and run the test.

I gave up.

Now you're in here
watching a motivational speech.

Even your attempt to get
your balls back lacks balls.

--World,
the business world.

If you're not a winner,
you're a loser.

His voice--it's lower
than it is now.

If only there was
a good reason

for a professional speaker
to be hoarse.

Go open a pottery studio.

Good point.

It's not a good point.
It's a decent point.

You're doing it again.
You have any other videos?

Other seminars?

When you see a weakness,

that's a time for strength.

A lot of people say,
"Oh, I feel bad about it.

The other guy
made a mistake."

You bailed too early.

Now I get all the credit.

That kind of thinking is
what makes you have a bad day.

Chronic hoarseness

is a symptom
of a condition called

silent thyroiditis.

- But I'm not hoarse.
- Exactly.

But you were
three years ago.

Silent thyroiditis
comes and goes.

And it, in turn,
is a symptom

of polyglandular autoimmune
syndrome type 3,

which makes this
a really bad idea.

PAS 3 attacks the body's
own endocrine system,

moving from gland
to gland.

It started
in the thyroid,

and probably helped along
by your low testosterone,

moved on to the gut.

Where it caused
celiac disease,

or it would've if you weren't
on a gluten-free diet.

I was right.

This is incredibly
relevant.

Eventually, PAS 3
attacked your thymus gland.

You developed myasthenia gravis,
which landed you in here,

and you started eating gluten,
which only made things worse.

So am I gonna be okay?

We'll treat
the various conditions

with high-dose steroids.

Assuming they respond,
you should be fine.

And the testosterone?

Kicked in the nuts
is kicked in the nuts.

Over the past week,

you've all had
good moments and bad.

No one candidate
has prevailed.

And so now,
we embark upon a contest

of medical strength,
stamina, and skill.

Can we just
get this over with?

If the competitor
representing Australia

would like to take
a point deduction,

he should, by all means,
continue yapping.

Your glee is on
the verge of making this

not worth it
for any of us.

Can I at least
light the torch?

Hurry.

I declare open the games

of the number one,
number two competition.

Je declare ouvert--

all right.
Ready, set, suture!

T time.

What happens
if I don't take it?

Or at least go to
a much lower dose?

Are you having
side effects?

No, I feel great.
Faster, clearer.

More like myself.

But my marriage
and my career,

they're both built
on me being somebody else.

Low testosterone
can cause depression

and problems sleeping.

It's also been
linked to conditions

such as osteoporosis
and diabetes.

It'll make your life harder
and more dangerous

on top of all the meds
you'll be taking.

I'll take that risk.

I'm a better man
without it.

[Amy Grant's
Every Heartbeat plays]

♪

Well, this certainly
has brought

more structure
to the department.

Really, I'm just excited
for the wheelchair race.

You were smart
not to enter.

Never in, never lose.

And since you no longer
have stones.

I'll split the 50
a week with you.

Deal.

(Amy Grant) ♪ I'm simple,
but I'm no fool ♪

♪ I've got a witness
happy to say ♪

♪ every hour, every day

♪ every heartbeat
bears your name ♪

♪ loud and clear,
they stake my claim ♪

♪ my red blood
runs true blue ♪

♪ and every heartbeat
belongs to you ♪

♪

♪ classic case
of boy meets girl ♪

♪ movin' in
the same direction ♪

♪ you're not asking
for the world ♪

Honey, I'm home!

== sync, corrected by elderman ==