All language subtitles for SCORPION - S03 E20 - Broken Wind (720p - Web-DL)

Previously on Scorpion...
I just want a huge wedding.

I never dreamed I'd marry
a babe like you, I...

It's the greatest
accomplishment of my life.

I just...
I want everyone to know it.

I'm a little closed,
and that's not the best way for us

to start our new life together.

If our marriage is gonna work,

I need to be able to
express myself better.

The Warlock's Chest storefront

is 90 years old.

Old enough to fall
under the auspices

of the Historic
Zoning Commission,

so I am filing papers to
prevent its destruction.

We may have lost the war,

but Sly won the battle.

I'm gonna ask Cabe if he
wants to hang out tonight.

I think he could use a friend.

TOBY: That was empathy.

Walter identified emotional
pain in someone else

and demonstrated empathy.

You can't empathize if
you haven't been through

a similar situation yourself.

The heir shall approach.

Our brotherhood was threatened

by those who wished
to vanquish our realm,

but they were smitten... Smote.

They were smoten.
No. Just smote.

They were smote

by the brave defender

of The Warlock's Chest,

Sylvester the Conquestor.

And in the tradition
of our forbearers,

we present thee with
the Stone of Valor.

Wise Dyfrost, it is with

the greatest humility
that I do accept...

(chuckles) Sorry.
I just got to put this away.

Gary. We're knighting someone.

GARY: Mini-fridge doesn't
stock itself, boys.

Okay?
All right, back to your skit.

Okay, well, let's just...

(grunts)

finish the ceremony. Right?

Uh, I get the Goblet
of Yar and then

I drink the Blood of the Condor.

To The Warlock's Chest.

Damn it.

(whispering): I forgot
the fruit punch.

CABE: Guarantee no
kids in Russia or China

are doing this goofy crap.

Shame on you for hacking this.

I didn't. Sly must've plugged
into their security cameras

to download the
ceremony to his laptop,

which he forgot to close.
I found it running

on a loop when I came in.

It's uncomfortable.

I feel guilty watching this.

I feel sick watching it.

Yet no one's looking away.

Good morrow, compatriots!

Good morrow

to you, fine sir!

That's a fancy little
brooch you got there.

It is not a brooch.

It is a stone of valor.

Not a big deal...

Kind of a big deal.

Oh, Happy,
I think these pages are yours.

"Wedding To-Do List"?

Wow.

It's long. Yup.

That's 'cause big weddings
are stupid time-sucks...

which we will look
back upon one day

and realize was worth
all the hard work.

Nice save.

Well, I can help you with it

if you want.
It's fun, getting registered,

floral arrangements,
trying on dresses.

Hi. I'm Happy Quinn.
We've obviously never met.

I'm serious.

There's a lot on that
list that has to be done

and you need someone
to assist you.

Someone who loves weddings,

someone like a maid of honor.

Okay, I get the
incredibly unsubtle hint.

But we're not having
a wedding party.

We're keeping it simple.

No maid of honor? No best man?

SYLVESTER: The best
man tradition is based

on the morally
questionable tradition

of 16th century Goths

picking the man "best"
at stealing the bride

from the neighboring village
the night before the wedding.

TOBY: That's a good point, Sly!

Plus, I got three amigos.

Couldn't bear breaking
the heart of two of them.

I can see where having
to select one of us

could disrupt the team dynamic.

Plus, I can't have Cabe or
Sly upset at being shunned.

Here we go.

What makes you
think it'd be you?

WALTER: Well,
as Toby's oldest friend

and employer,
I'm the logical choice.

So if he doesn't pick
you, he's fired?

Well, how about the fact
that without my sage advice,

he never would've landed
this little filly?

Now I'm being
compared to a horse?

Oh, thank you for getting
this ball rolling, Paige.

Happy, may I interject?

No.

I am clearly the best man here.

First and foremost,

I bear the Stone of Valor.

Plus, Toby and I are very close.

You married my sister
without telling any of us.

Besides, who are you to
comment on wedding parties?

At least I was never
married to Happy.

The ex-husband as the best man?

Gross. So, Toby, old pal,

if you were gonna choose one of
us, who'd you pick?

I don't like to deal
in hypotheticals.

(ding)

Did you hear that ding?
I heard it.

That means Happy's
testing is finished.

Follow me to see the results.

This is very exciting, isn't it?

What do we have here?

Prep for our Department
of Energy windmill gig.

Built a couple of winches

to run a stress test.

They've been going
on for 72 hours.

This is currently what is
in the D.O.E.'s windmill.

Standard steel,
already signs of wear.

Problem with wind farming

is wind hardly
ever takes a break,

so the equipment needs
constant maintenance.

Especially on the experimental
bladeless windmill

we're upgrading.

But I made this one from a
graphene alloy I designed.

No wear.
They'll increase longevity

of the new bladeless
turbines by over 60%.

Okay, well,
I'll call Mr. Macholz

at the Department of Energy,

and tell him we're on
our way to the wind farm.

And I am going to get my
ornithology binoculars.

Where the wind farm is located

is home to Geococcyx
californianus,

also known as...

the roadrunner. Meep, meep.

CABE: Hey. Hold up a second.

Are you sure you want
Walt to go to the D.O.E.?

Last time he did that,
he cost Scorpion a gig.

He's fine. He's working hard

on his communication skills,
he's making progress.

Don't need to work on
my communication skills.

Naturally personable.
Everybody loves old Sly.

I'm not picking a best man!

You need to work on your
interpersonal skills, Toby.

CABE: I will never
cease to be amazed

at what humankind can build.

Energy Valley is amazing.

Wind farms, solar panels,
natural gas veins.

And coming soon,

a touch of Scorpion brilliance.

Okay, I'm done.

Okay, guys, Sly is linked
in to the turbine's server.

As soon as you're done
with the gear installation,

he can monitor the
electrical output.

HAPPY: We're almost
fully installed,

old parts replaced with new,
graphene-alloy counterparts.

Offset hexagon key wrench?

Walt's running test diagnostics.

Ran test diagnostics.

And everything is
as it should be.

Great. Mr. Macholz,
we're just a few moments away

from finishing the installation,
and we'll run a live

electrical output
soon thereafter.

And thanks to the D.O.E.
for giving us another shot.

We love turbines.

Really big fans.

You get it?

Fans?

Um, okay. Well, we'll call you

when we're on the
ground with the results.

Did you get the joke, Toby?

It's the kind of humor
that goes over well

in toasts.

CABE: That joke went
over like a submarine.

A best man speech has
got to have zingers.

You got to rip them
apart, like Rickles.

I suggest you don't
insult your guests.

Public speaking has a
formula, Toby.

You have to combine
the concise verbiage

of Kennedy speechwriter
Arthur Schlesinger

with the witty wordplay of
tunesmith W.A. Yankovic.

Who's Rickles?

HAPPY: You morons are arguing

over a best man position
that won't be filled.

No wedding party, remember?

WALTER: I don't care
that there's no best man.

I just want to know
that if there had been,

it wouldn't have
been Sly or Cabe.

And I was just saying
you were making progress.

While the rest of the team
finishes in the control room,

I'd like to present
you with this,

The Cape of Windsor.

Windsor? Like William the
Conqueror's Windsor Castle?

No. This was manufactured
in Windsor, Ohio.

But that's not important.

What is important
is last evening,

The Knights of West Altadenia

assembled for a
vesting ceremony.

And it was deemed that your
contributions to my campaign

to help save The
Warlock's Chest shall not

go unheralded.

Oh, boy. This ain't good.

My roundtable and I

would like to invite
you to be knighted

into our clan.

Only the noble of
spirit and pure of heart

have been invited to join.

And afterwards,
we play Fantasies and Frolics

and there's s'mores,
so, you know, fun.

(chuckles) Yeah.

(chuckles)

Yeah, this is a...

This, uh... hell of a cloak.

Cape. Cape.

It's a hell of a cape.
But, uh...

You know, I'm not, uh,
much of a game guy.

Never been. So, uh...

I know. I just figured,

since you and Happy
started playing Stratego...

Well, that's true,

but that's,
that's strategy and warfare.

That's within my wheelhouse.

Well, Fantasies and Frolics
covers over 12 eons of battle,

from the Minotaur Rising
to the Troll Conflicts.

Get ready for Sly heartbreak in
three, two, one...

Yeah, see there,
that's the problem,

there's this whole
history that I don't know,

and I-I don't want to
ruin it for you guys.

So...

But I tell you what.

I appreciate the invitation.

You, you go tell the fellas
that I say thank you.

Sure.

(exhales)

Thank God that's over.

That was brutal.

Okay, all set here.

You two head down,

I will help Toby pack up.

'Cause that is what
a good man would do.

Some would say, "best man."

Just start packing the manuals.

We'll need to track the
gears' heat coefficients

once the turbine is turned on.

I will call out the readings,
you can jot them down?

Sure.

It's funny how you
trust me to monitor

multimillion-dollar equipment,

but not with choosing
a wedding dress.

Why do you care that I
don't want a maid of honor?

You're being weird about this.

I am not being weird about

the maid of honor thing,
I'm being weird because,

I don't know,
I just thought maybe we'd grown close

over the past couple years.

What?

We're-We're friends-ish.

I like you just fine.

What a ringing endorsement.

(faint rattling)

Happy...

Are you even listening?

HAPPY: No,
the other gondola's grip is loose.

Hey, Sly,
does that look normal to you?

That gondola's not stable.

It's about to break.

(yells)

They're falling!

We need to stop the cable wheel.

(grunting)

TOBY: Happy!

Paige, are you okay?

Uh, a little banged
up, but all right.

Except for the hanging-150-
feet-up-in-the-air part.

WALTER: The D.O.E.
must've repurposed

a gondola from a ski
lodge or something.

The mechanics weren't
designed for high winds.

Repetitive stress

had to have caused
parts failure.

How'd you stop the free fall?

I improvised a brake.

That won't last long.
I'm just eyeballing it,

but it seems to be
slipping about two inches

every 15 seconds,
and we've only got about, uh,

15 feet of cable left.

SYLVESTER: That's
eight inches a minute.

That gives us 22
and a half minutes

before the cable runs
through the works,

and that gondola falls.

Captioning sponsored by CBS.

Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org.

Copy that.
I just got off the phone

with the fire department.

Their tallest
ladder is 100 feet.

What about a rescue chopper?

Closest one is helping a hiker

who fell down into a ravine.

What about the crane
that built this thing?

They take hours to set up.

What about a jumper's pad?
Well, not from this height.

Besides, what would we
even build it out of?

Guys, every 15 seconds we're
two inches closer to splatter,

and I don't want Ralph being
raised by four lunatics.

So just get us the
hell down from here.

We can't do that.

Are you kidding me?

This is the one thing you
guys can't figure out?!

No,
I mean we can't get you down,

so we're gonna
have to get you up.

Walt, I've been getting
in shape for the wedding,

but deadlifting 2,000 pounds
might be a bit much for me.

Mass times gravity times
diameter divided by two.

It's elementary school science.

So, we can reconfigure parts
of the turbine to make a winch,

just like the winch
that Happy used

to stress-test the
gear at the garage.

You could use the
winch to lift us.

All the components you
need are in the mechanics

you've got up there.
This could work.

As the turbine turns,

the cable wraps around it,
but we'll need at least

five feet of cable to
wrap around the winch.

That means we don't
have 15 feet of cable

and 22 and a half minutes.

We have ten feet of cable

and 15 minutes.

Okay. Let's hurry

and puncture a hole
in the drive shaft.

You left the drill in the back
of the truck, didn't you, Happy?

I "left" it?

I left the drill in the truck

because I wouldn't need it
here up in the control room.

Really?
That's crazy because I'm thinking

of a way I need one right now!

Man, they sound like they've
been married for years.

This can't weigh more
than four pounds.

No one has that good of an arm.

We're not gonna throw it.

We're gonna float it.

Now, get the tarp
from the truck bed

and I will find a heat source
that will seal the seam.

This lighter should
provide enough heat.

Mind cluing me in here, Sly?

We're building a balloon.

We're gonna fill
it with methane.

There's not enough
jerky in the world

for you and I to fill this
thing with methane. Not from us.

This is Energy Valley, remember?

There are natural gas lines
crisscrossing this region

a few miles from here.

You drive while I cut and melt
the tarp's plastic into shape.

Okay, Sly and Cabe are
making the balloon.

Walter and Toby are prepping the winch.
We got a shot.

We'd have a better shot if
I was building that winch.

Hey, that's uncalled for.

Toby and I are more
than capable of...

We don't need capable,
we need masterful.

Get back to work.

Okay.

We're all a little
tense for good reason.

How about we try and
keep our mind off things?

Uh...

let's go over your
wedding to-do list.

Each item we get through,
the closer we are

to Cabe and Sly
getting back here.

No, thank you.

Okay,
we have to occupy our minds.

First thing, flowers.
I like calla lilies.

Roses are nice.
Um, white stephanotis are beautiful.

I don't want to do this.

Fine. Let's-Let's talk location.
Uh...

uh, a beach wedding is romantic.

Okay,
would you just shut it already?

TOBY: Guys, right now is not
the best time for fighting.

It's a very good time for
teamwork, though.

Quiet, Toby.

Yes, dear.

Sounds like you guys have
been married for years.

Look, I'm just not into talking
to you about the wedding, okay?

Right,
'cause we're only friends-ish.

We're friends.

Of course we're friends.

You're like the first
non-genius I could ever stand.

It's just that all the
flowers and pink taffeta,

it's just not my bag.

I'm a genius, not a cheerleader.

Not how I meant it to sound.

It depends.

Did you mean it to sound
obnoxious and rude?

'Cause if so,
you were right on the money.

It came out wrong.

No, it came out accurately.

You-You guys love facts,
you just stated one.

You're a genius.
I'm a dumb cheerleader,

and I'm too stupid to
be friends with you.

Paige. No, d-don't worry

because, for the next
few minutes of our life,

this stupid pom-pom girl

won't bother you anymore.

Oh, and by the way,

I went to the '01 nationals,

and I was top of the
pyramid, baby.

(groans)

Getting there.

Getting there.

Okay, gears are secured and
greased for maximum rotation.

We just need that drill.

TOBY: We've lost a
few feet on the cable.

We're running out of time.

Sly,
we got under ten minutes left.

Hurry up with that
tool, you tool.

Nearly done with the heat
seal, and don't call me a tool.

Come on, kid.

Okay, ready. Let's go.

Okay.

I got the opening over
the methane valve.

Is this thing
really gonna float?

It's lighter than air

and crazy flammable. Careful.

(gas hisses)

(whoops)

All right. It's working!

TOBY: They're
gonna be here soon.

You know, one of us is
gonna have to reach out

over this platform
and grab that balloon.

That's just what I was thinking.

That's a long way down.

That's why I should do it. Okay.

I had a whole explanation
about how it's treacherous,

and-and since you're
getting married,

you shouldn't take the risk...

Unnecessary.
I don't want to do it.

That's too high, but you'll
definitely earn best-man points.

Good luck.

Guys, Cabe and Sly are back.

Okay, Walter, I did some

quick calculations based on wind
speed, trajectory,

the weight of the
tarp and the drill...

Would you just let
it fly already?

You got it.
Godspeed, power tool.

That's some upchuck.

Get it?

Piece on the drill
is called a chuck.

It's going up. Upchuck.

Your best man speech
will be hysterical.

There it goes. Our only shot.

And if a guy who never
played sports can't catch it,

we're screwed.

Okay. It's 20 feet away.

15 feet.

I'm gonna hold onto
your belt loop.

No, no, don't touch. Oh, crap.

Oh, crap. Oh, crap.

(shouts) Got it, got it.

It's a good thing I had
ahold of your belt loop, huh?

Stop playing grab-ass
and drill the winch hole.

Guys, in one minute
the gondola will fall.

Start the turbine.

Look, I'm almost ready.
Just hang on.

No pun intended.

Okay, cable's through the
hole of the drive shaft.

Start it up.

Okay, cable's secured.

Ladies, I am about to
remove the only thing

that has been keeping you
from plummeting to the earth,

but it seems the winch will
continue to rotate once removed.

"Seems"?!

WALTER: And once we remove it,

then the winch should catch.
"Should"?

TOBY: Brace yourself.

We're going up.

They're going up.

Wow! Hey, it's working.

The wedding is still on.

Can't get rid of me that
easy, Quinn.

Looks like we made it, huh?

Yeah. Guess we did.

Since we'll be on more solid
footing in a few minutes,

I'd like to say something to you.
Comms out.

Not good.

Damn right, not good.

You guys fighting again? Hello?

I don't need you to tell me

that I am not as
smart as you guys.

I am painfully aware
of it every day.

Every invention I
don't understand,

every formula I can't solve,
every reference I don't get...

Like MIT students

trying to follow a
Jeffrey Hoffman lecture.

See, I-I have no idea
what you're talking about.

But even if I can't keep up,
I thought I at least measured up

as a-a valued team
member, as a friend,

but I guess you just,
you just always saw me as an inferior.

Paige, that is not correct.

Oh, what a surprise.
Something else I got wrong.

You know what,
I hope they speed that winch up

'cause I don't want to spend
another second with you

in this box.

(metal whines) Whoa.

Oh, man, we're stuck.

Perfect.

Oh, I found the problem.
Wind speed's dropped from 21

to 11 miles per hour.
That is too slow

to create enough power
to spin the winch.

So, we're stuck
here until the wind

picks up? TOBY: Not exactly.

Our makeshift winch
is starting to give.

(winch creaking)

That's because I didn't
design the drive shaft

to hold thousands of
pounds of dead weight

pulling on it straight down.

If it was turning,
it could hold us.

But constant pressure?

It's not gonna last too long.

How long before it breaks?

I'm looking at
Happy's design specs.

Based on the PSI,

18 minutes until
complete failure.

PAIGE: So,
we're gonna die because

it's not breezy out anymore.

We stopped a tornado once.

Can't we kick up some wind?

No, but you can kick
out a little weight.

An 11-mile-per-hour wind
should power the winch

as long as it doesn't have
to haul that much cargo.

I'm terrified to say
this, ladies,

but you might have
to shed a few pounds.

We're gonna need
more than a few.

To uncompromise the winch,

we're gonna need to
cut the gondola loose.

Yeah, I don't like that idea.

WALTER: It's our only shot.

Now, you and Happy
get up on the roof,

hang onto the cable, and then

we'll sever the cable
to detach the gondola.

You two can't weigh more than,

together, 250 pounds, right?

BOTH: 240.

WALTER: Minimal carriage.

Even for a warped winch.

Hey, I hate to be the
bearer of bad questions,

but how in the name of
reinforced braided steel

are we gonna cut the cable?

Hadn't considered that yet.

CABE: Yeah, well, I have.

And I've got an idea,
but Paige and Happy might not like it.

It's worse than Walter's idea?

CABE: I'm gonna shoot

through the cable.

A high caliber rifle

will knock that
gondola clean off.

And if you miss, our heads.

A headless bride might
crimp my nuptials.

Uh, Cabe,
know you're a good shot,

but how good?

I got my marksmanship
qualification

when I was in the Corps.
Now, we only got

12 minutes left?
Barely 11 minutes.

Then we better hightail it back

to that gun store we passed

about a mile back.
With the way Cabe drives,

we should be back with
one minute or so to spare.

Okay, then go already!

Man, they're cutting it close.

Something as small as
a-a slow checkout clerk

at the gun shop
could mean they fall.

Toby's right; we need
to buy more time.

You need to get rid of any extra
weight the gondola is holding.

Now, every pound jettisoned can
give us extra crucial seconds

before the winch falls. (grunts)

So, while Toby and I try to
stop this thing from bending,

you two dump anything
that isn't essential.

(grunts)

Hey, take it easy.

It's cheap workmanship.
Okay, open the door,

this thing is going overboard.

PAIGE: That could be us.

We got to keep lessening our load.
Come on.

(door bell chimes)

Agent Cabe Gallo,
Homeland Security.

I need to commandeer a
Desert Tech HTI sniper rifle.

It's a matter of life and death.
Excuse you,

I'm with a customer,
you'll need to wait.

I don't think you understand.

I'm an agent of the U.S.
government.

Well, as an agent of the U.S.
government,

you would know that
the law requires

a ten-day waiting period

before the sale of a firearm.

CABE: And as a licensed
firearms merchant

in the state of
California, you should know

that this badge allows me
emergency appropriation.

Look, for all I
know, that's fake

and you're some
kook who's just...

Is that the Stone of Valor?

Uh, yes. Yes, it is.

My liege.

I am Erhlic of the
Desert Dwellers,

fourth son of
Ravenswood, uh, gunsmith

to the House of Thames.
I'm at your service.

You got to be kidding me.

At ease, brave Erhlic.

Two of my clan
are in grave peril

and we beseech your aid.

Say no more.

The weapon you seek
shall be yours.

I bet he would have
appreciated the cape.

TOBY: Happy,
we can't keep this winch

from breaking for much longer;
you got to shed more weight.

Anything that could be tossed
is already on the ground.

Only thing left is our clothes,
and we're not dying naked.

Can't hold on much longer,
even with the reduced weight.

We have less than 90 seconds

before this thing snaps.

Where's Cabe?

CABE: Right here!

I got the rifle.

Ladies, get topside.

(grunts)

Oh, boy.

Little help!

Okay, we're out.

Get up that cable and hold on.

Rifle's locked in. I'm ready.
SYLVESTER: But they're not.

There isn't enough
clearance to take the shot.

Ladies,
you got to keep climbing.

And do it fast!
The winch is starting to snap.

We got 60 seconds until
everything starts tumbling down!

HAPPY: We're trying to!

The cable's coated

in lithium compound grease,

specifically designed to
prevent things from gripping it!

I have an idea.
Happy, I'm coming up.

(panting)

(grunts)

Okay,

I'm gonna wrap my foot in the
cable and lean back a bit.

You'll step on my foot
and lean back, too.

Our weight will
counterbalance each other

and make it easier
for us to climb up.

And then you'll wrap your foot

and we'll alternate
all the way up.

There you go. Got it?

HAPPY: Yeah. I'm good.

Pretty close quarters
for two people

who couldn't stand being
in the same box together.

Yeah, well,
the irony isn't lost on me, either.

All right, let's climb. Okay.

SYLVESTER: We've got five feet

of clearance, wind is steady.
Take the shot.

(winch creaking)

Why don't I hear a gunshot?
We have 30 seconds!

If I'm off by a hair,
I take their heads off.

Give me a second.

It's now or never, Cabe.

PAIGE: Hurry!

It's hard to hold on.

Do it, Cabe!

Nothing happened!

SYLVESTER: Cabe missed.

He missed the shot.

Hey, Cabe, what about

that marksmanship
qualification from the Marines?

I haven't fired a rifle
like this in ten years.

Give Sly a sec

to sight it in.

The vapor trail indicates

we need to adjust the
barrel one degree east.

Copy that.

All right,
stand back and watch the magic.

(bullet ricochets)

Damn it.

Are you kidding me, Cabe?

I've seen better magic
at birthday parties.

We're getting tired.

We only have five
seconds left until...

(bullet whizzes past)

(gondola creaking)

It's working.
It's turning. Cabe,

I never doubted you for one
moment, my man.

Happy, the winch is moving
faster with the lighter load.

You're gonna be back in
my loving arms in no time.

SYLVESTER: I don't
know about that.

Relieving the tensile pressure

on the cable triggered
aeroelastic flutter.

I don't know what that means,
but it's shaking us loose!

Well, Happy and Paige are acting
like a pendulum right now.

The more they slip down,

the more erratic
they'll start to swing.

The more they swing,
the more they'll slip!

How long before the
winch works back up

and they get to the top?

90 seconds.

There's nothing we can do
to accelerate the winch.

We're at the mercy of the wind.

Happy, how much cable
is underneath you?

Three feet, but shrinking fast!

They can't get a good
grip on the cable.

They're gonna slip off
before they're pulled up.

Then we help them
grip it tighter.

I have a way to make it
so that they can't let go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Walt, I think I know
what you're thinking

and I don't like what I
think you're thinking.

We are inside a power plant.

We have all the
electrical current

that we need.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That could kill them! Only if

the doctor with the
highest IQ in the world

messes up,
and I believe that he won't.

What are you planning?

WALTER: We're gonna run
an electrical current

through the cable.

Now, at its proper levels,
it will cause tetany,

the severe involuntary
muscular contractions.

They will be physically
incapable of letting go.

And at the improper levels?

You're electrocuted.

Tetany happens at a very exact
range of 16 to 19 milliamps.

A hair above that sweet spot,
guaranteed cardiac arrest!

I am not risking
electrocuting my fiancée!

I'm still here, too.

Or electrocuting Paige. My bad.

If we do this,
they have a 50% chance of dying.

If we don't,
they have a 100% chance of dying.

They will be up here
in less than a minute.

We can't hold on any longer.

Toby, just do it!

All right, now, I'm gonna let
the cable run along the wire,

never letting it
rest for too long,

so I don't send too much
current to their bodies at once.

Well, I can plug into the
energy monitoring software

at the control shed,

make sure the amps stay
in the tetany zone.

Cabe, let's go.

If any of us is tough enough to do
it, it's you two girls.

TOBY: Walt,
you stay on that rubber mat

and touch nothing
metal until I say so.

Happy, Paige, this is gonna hurt.
I'm sorry.

Just do it!

(electrical zapping)

We're at 16 milliamps; they
should be locked on but conscious.

Can you hear us, Happy?

They're not responding!

It's got to be working.

They would've fallen
by now if it wasn't.

We'll have them up
here in seconds.

(electrical zapping)
(Paige grunts)

TOBY: You're doing great.

Another 40 seconds,
this will all be over.

(yells)

Walt, wind's blowing harder!

SYLVESTER: Oh, no, 18 milliamps.

The energy output must be rising

because of an uptick
in wind speed.

Well,
if it gets to 20 milliamps,

their heart muscles will seize!

Just a few more seconds.

HAPPY: Can't... take...

any... more!

Yeah, you can,
you're almost there!

19 milliamps!

First there was no wind,
now there's too much.

I hate nature.

Walt, they're up! Cut the juice!

(grunts)

Second-degree burns on
the palms and fingers,

but the pulse is good.

Happy, come on.
Come on, say something.

Don't ever electrocute me again.

Oh, she's fine. How's Paige?

Same.

How are you feeling?

Pretty... amped up.

I think that was a joke.

Okay, gang, just sit tight.

Rescue choppers
are on their way.

You'll be back on terra
firma before you know it.

All set.

Thank you.

You two really hung on
to each other up there.

Don't know how
you survived that.

Guess we did work
together pretty well.

I guess so.

Quick thinking on your part,

counterbalancing on
the cable and all.

How do you know
physics like that?

Cheer squad.

It was from one of our routines.

I'm sorry. It's okay.

You don't sugarcoat
things, and the truth is

I'm not as smart as you guys.

That's not what I'm sorry for.

Clearly,
we're all smarter than you.

Oh, okay.

I'm sorry for letting you
think that was the reason

I didn't want your
help with the wedding.

That's not what I meant by
the "cheerleader" comment.

Okay, so what did you mean?

(sighs)

Toby wants to invite half
of Brooklyn to the ceremony.

He says he wants to show me off.

He's proud he's marrying you.
He should be.

I still don't know how
he pulled that off.

The thing is,

I'm not comfortable with being

the center of attention
for this kind of thing.

You know,
you want to hear a lecture

on combustion engines,
fine, all eyes on me.

But certain things are

expected of a bride,

and I do not fulfill
those expectations.

Happy, you are beautiful.

You're stunning.

I am not now,
nor have I ever been

a "girlie" kind of girl.

When I was a kid,
my tools were taken away

and replaced with dolls.

I hate dolls.
Hate being dolled up.

My least-favorite first
lady, Dolly Madison.

(chuckles)

I tried dresses and
makeup, but it's not me.

I don't want to disappoint Toby.

This big wedding is
important to him,

and meeting his family
is stressful enough.

Doing it while I'm pretending
to be something I'm not...

Happy, I just wanted to
make things easier for you.

I couldn't care less if we
were picking out a Vera Wang

or a Black & Decker.

I know Toby could care
less, too.

'Cause that wing nut is
crazy in love with you.

Look at him.

What did I get myself into?

A wedding.

And I'm not gonna
offer my help anymore.

I don't want to add
any more stress.

But know I'm here,

if you need me,

'cause we're friends...

ish.

Hey, Hap, I got an e-mail
from Harbor Oaks Catering.

It's a nice venue, affordable.

Dance floor's big enough to
accommodate my sexy moves,

so I'm gonna give
'em a ring tomorrow.

WALTER: Speaking of "ring,"

an under-looked but integral job

of the best man is
the presentation

of the wedding ring.

Now, the hand holding that ring

will be featured in
your photos forever.

So you can have Cabe's
gnarled, battle-worn digits

or Sly's fingers, ravaged by

millions of comic
book-induced paper cuts,

or... these.

They're supple.

Nary a scar.

Used for nothing,
apart from the occasional code.

CABE: In other words, soft.

Toby, what you want
are a man's hands.

I don't think you
know how that sounds.

You want someone who
can handle a ring.

I'm the only one here

who has been bestowed
the Ring of the Falconer.

How much jewelry do
you guys hand out?

Plenty.

All right,
this is ridiculous, Toby.

You got three candidates.

We're all capable,
all interested.

But you refuse to choose.

Yeah, you know what? I think...

I think this is a
power trip for you.

All right, all right,
that's it, if the only way

I can end this madness is
to actually pick someone

to stand up for
me on my big day,

I'm gonna do it.

Because, listen, I...
I want the real deal.

I want someone who's
always dependable.

Someone who can adapt
when things get hairy.

I want someone

who comes up with solutions

when it seems there are none.

I want someone who, in
short, is sharp as a tack.

So...

I don't want a best man.

I want a best ma'am.

Paige, if it wasn't for you

on that cable today,

I wouldn't have
a Happy to marry.

Will you please
do me this honor?

I'd love to be your best ma'am.

HAPPY: You got to be kidding.

We made up at the ambulance.

I was going to ask her.

You snooze, you lose.

Okay, fine.

Yes, the competition is back on!

I'm gonna be the
best maid of honor.

Like hell you will.

No. No competition.

I am not going
through what Toby did,

so I choose all three.

Equal rank, equal titles.

My "dudes of honor."

You can't do that.

It's my wedding,
I can do whatever I want.

Now, dudes...

time to get cracking

on this to-do list.

Oh, I can't now.
I have tons of D.O.E. paperwork.

Perhaps tomorrow?

And, uh,
I'd love to stay and help,

but I've got Fantasies
and Frolics tonight.

In fact, I better hurry.

Okay...

I'm gonna catch the bus.

I got time to take a stab
at that to-do list with you.

The night's wide open.

No, it's not,

'cause you're gonna
go play Nerd World

with Sly and the
putz-around gang.

No, I told Sly I can't make it.

You never said you
couldn't make it,

you said you didn't want to go,

and broke his dork heart.

No, I didn't.

He just wanted to pay me back

for helping save his clubhouse.

He-He didn't have to do that.
I was glad to do it.

He's not trying to pay you back.

He's trying to be your
friend, dummy.

Sometimes if someone
is your friend,

you let them do stuff for you,

like give you a cloak
or help plan a wedding,

even if you don't want it.

'Cause it's not about
you, it's about them,

and them feeling good
about being a good friend.

Or something like that.
I don't know.

I'm a genius.
I am new to this feeling stuff.

Like it or not,

you have a funny way

of growing on people, old man.

Sly got close to you
during the campaign,

and now that it's
over, he's scared.

It's the same way I felt when
you moved out of my apartment.

Really? Sure.

You're like a raccoon

digging through
someone's garbage.

You wonder how the hell
it got into your life,

but once it's gone,
you kind of miss it.

Huh.

♪ Having your good
kind of love ♪

♪ Hey, come back home to me... ♪

Oh.

Your Department of Energy friend

has got you doing
paperwork, too?

Uh, no, I took a little break.

Actually,
I'm trying to get a jump start

on all these best
ma'am responsibilities.

Planning a stag
party is a little

out of my area of expertise.

Plus, this is not exactly
speeding up the process.

Yes, I've also been cramming

on best-man research
lately, all for naught.

Like, I could lend you a hand.

Literally and metaphorically.

Oh, yeah, that sounds good.

Perhaps I can help
you prepare for your

dude-of-honor stint.

We've got a lot to put together
over a few short weeks.

Wedding partners in crime? Deal.

It might require
a few late nights

and, uh, some weekends.

Whatever it takes.

I do not need Happy Quinn mad at me.
(chuckles)

All right, well,
let's get to work.

Come on, you 20-sided mistress.

Sylvester needs a
new set of wands.

Ho!

Ooh, a bravery spell.

Hey, Dyfrost,
you can buy this from me

and use it to stand
up to your mother.

The woman is a tyrant.

Here we go.

Boys, let's feed the dragon.

Hoo...

Holy crap, it's Thor.

I'm Magnus Gallo.

I understand there's a
knighthood waiting for me.

Of course.

If you'll just kneel.

That's not gonna happen.

SYLVESTER: Guys,
we can just forego the ceremony

and introduce him to the
game, right?

You came.

Sure I did, kid.

Couldn't let my friend go
into battle without me.

You guys have anything
stronger than a Dr. Shazz

in that mini-fridge?

We have a wine cooler.

Don't drink that.
That's eight years old.

But it is your roll.

What the hell kind
of die is this?

(chuckles) Huzzah!

Now, which one am I?

You're the...
you're the girl in red.

I know, I know, just...

CABE: I'd like to roll
again, if you don't mind.