Original subtitles

Here we are, the beautiful, the perfect, the legendary, Lisa Ann. Well, hello

there.

What's going on, Lisa Ann?

You know, just another Sunday, another day in paradise, the Porn Valley.

Yeah? Making some snacks.

Yeah? Very good stuff.

What have you been up to?

Traveling and shooting and meeting my fans and trying to find more time to

sleep. Did you realize, you know, when you get a little older...

sleep becomes more valuable than it was at one time. It does, right? My belief

that I can live on four hours a day every day doesn't stand anymore. I like

sleep.

I have now realized how much better you feel as a person when you get some

sleep. Do you have a sleep number bed or a standard mattress? A standard

mattress. Really?

I've used a sleep number at hotels and I find them annoying.

It's like a sleep on a raft.

It's a whole mental thought of knowing what it is. It's like a raft. Maybe you

just haven't found the right number. Maybe I haven't found the right number.

Could be.

When you're meeting your fans, are they generally polite, or do some of them

accost you and or give you the creeps?

Of course, there's always an occasional creeper in there. Let's not forget about

it. But the amazing thing about this MILF phenomenon is that I am now working

a ton of teen clubs hosting these events.

They're 18 to 20, 18 to 21, and they're, like, the most polite. They're just so

happy to, like, be by you and have a moment with you. They see things like,

Lisa, you look so pretty. It's nice to meet you. Like, they're not even, like,

jaded yet, like, yo, how much to take you home, like, shit like that. They

even say that yet.

So they're also very good -looking, you know, which is super cute, too.

It's a good mix. I find people are creepier on social media because they

hide behind their little keyboard.

They're like text message tough guys, and they say horrible things, but

probably the same dude that wouldn't even butt in line at the movies.

So it's hard to say.

Well, they have courage because they're anonymous, right? Right.

It's easy to be brave when no one can kick your ass. Right, but what I like to

do is if they've been tweeting for a while, I'll go through their timeline,

out who their girlfriend is.

Then I'll quote their tweet that they sent me, and I'll send it to their

girlfriends. And, you know, I like to take it like I always say to them,

I'll find your mom, your coach, or your girlfriend. Whoever I find first, I will

get you back.

You are vindictive.

Yeah, I am. Don't fuck with you.

It's just sometimes when you're on the road, you have that kind of free time.

You got your phone going, you're at the airport, you're like, now's the time to

get back at these fools.

Wow. All right. Well, make sure.

not to cross Lisa Ann, or something horrible will happen to you.

Not as horrible as I wish. No. I wish I was allowed to just kill people.

Well, no, that's... As of right now, that's still a crime.

But I am saving my...

I

murdered someone.

So, when you...

When you see a Vine from Lisa Ann, no... You better watch.

I mean, millions of viewers better be like, you know, it's amazing.

It'd be like, she finally did it. She finally killed someone.

She finally videoed. Do you have someone in mind yet, or... No.

Oh, okay.

It's going to be like a stalker. Wow. It's going to be, you know, I have these

recurring dreams of things that I'm going to do to the stalker that jives me

my mind.

Well, I hope to see that one day. I want a phone handy. I've even talked to the

police about this. And I've said, you know, when you have an alarm system, I

feel that you should be able to be watching it from the road and trigger a

button that would shoot somebody.

And the cops said to me, no, that's your job.

So I just keep it away from the camera area so that you can move things around

if necessary to get the right footage. Because I told them that I'm going to

video.

Once again, very dangerous woman, Ms. Lisa Ann. Don't cross her if you know

what's good for you.

I'm not crazy.

No, certainly not. And I haven't been drinking or doing any drugs. I've just

a little bit of sugar -free Red Bull. Oh, well, that's good. That's all.

Because, you know, that sugar would have pushed you right over the edge.

You might have been talking about homicide.

Who knows what would come out of my mouth? I know. Speaking of coming out of

your mouth, you're here to perform a very aggressive fellatio scene today.

does that make you feel?

Very.

Yeah, well, you come across as an aggressive type of woman. I do.

But I'm really not that sexually aggressive, which is strange, right?

Yeah, yeah. But most people that are aggressive in their personal life are

usually more of the sub in their sexual life. Okay. So though I boss people

around, like, at the airport or the grocery store or wherever these get on

nerves, like, when people are, like, doing something on their phone, they

right in front of you. Don't you just want to hit them in the back of the

Like, dude, we're in the tunnel getting off a plane.

A little bit. So, yeah.

So I will have to try to be aggressive. I mean, it is Mark Wood.

You know, I am kind of sweet on him.

He's athletic, and we talk a lot about sports, which always turns me on. Well,

then I'm going to have him give you a big basketball speech right before we

doing it.

So, yeah, so, you know, he's good at this sort of thing. He's done it a bunch

times. A couple times. Yeah. So you're ready to go give it a shot?

I think I'm going to try.

Let's do it. I hope I can make him come. I think probably that's a foregone

conclusion, but all right.

Hmm.

Hmm.

No.