Original subtitles

I love you.

I love you.

Delicious delight.

Now, I love girls.

Girls, girls, girls.

Tall ones, fat ones, skinny ones. It doesn't matter any kind of girl. Blonde,

brunette, redheads.

Girls, girls, girls.

I have only one problem.

There isn't enough time for all of them. But I'm going to let you in on a little

secret of mine that I use all the time.

And it's a great technique.

If you want to use it, my technique, use it in good health.

I go to the yellow pages of the telephone directory and select the model

agencies. Then I call up those agencies and have models come to me for

photographs.

But sometimes those agencies want to have me arrested.

But other times there are compensations.

Sometimes I even hit a lucky day.

But then, then... Hello, Mr. Murphy. This is Ellen.

Ellen?

Where do I know you from, Ellen?

Oh, you saw me at the coffee agency, remember? Ed told you about me.

Well, you know, I guess he did it that.

Well, listen, Derek, I've got an awful lot of appointments today, but, um... I

suppose you drop by around three o 'clock this afternoon.

Okay, Murph, darling. I'll see you then.

All right.

Well, hello there.

You do look sexy, baby.

I've been waiting for you all day. Why, you're the nicest dish I've seen in a

hell of a long time.

Well, come, come, come into the studio.

Won't you have a seat?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

I'm Linda. Well, I thought you must be.

You must be Mr.

Murphy. Well, that's what it says on my doorbell.

You're cute.

I've always thought so.

Well, get undressed.

I will not.

You will not what?

Get undressed.

I don't do nude modeling. Oh, dear girl, nude modeling is the farthest thing

from my... ever thought for you to do.

I have a new line of see -through clothing.

And this is what I have in mind for you.

Then I had you all wrong.

I hope you'll forgive me.

Oh, there's nothing to forgive. But you see, in order for me to get the exact

color and the proper garments for you, I've got to be able to see through you.

I suppose I can understand that.

Well, a model is a model is a model.

Oh, I see.

But... I don't.

See, that is.

Sometimes we need practice with these things.

Well, you're very helpful.

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my.

Yes, I think you will do nicely. Why don't you sit down and let's have a few

poses for the camera.

Oh, my, my, this is beautiful.

Oh, that's beautiful.

That is just wonderful.

That's the girl. Let's see her other side.

Murphy, Mr.

Murphy, can you see enough?

For the see -through clothes.

Well, the fact of the matter is, that see -through hat that you have on at

moment should sell like hotcakes.

I don't have anything on.

This is my birthday suit.

Then those kind of birthday suits are going to sell a million copies all over

the world.

Come along.

Come along.

Don't be bashful.

Don't be bashful.

Well, don't be frightened a bit.

This is one of our sets.

I think that it'll make a fine background for you. Don't you think so?

Why don't you just lay down and try it out?

Remember what I told you. A model is a model is a model.

Stay back.

Stay back. We'll frame you.

We'll frame you, all right.

Right down the line. That's it. Lay down now. Come, come.

Come, come.

Don't be so demure.

You want to be a model?

Then just, uh... Well, let me pose you a little bit.

Compose you, maybe, but let me pose you.

Yes. We don't want to see everything at one time, do we?

I mean, after all.

Now, put your arm up.

Around here.

There, Steve.

Hmm?

Hmm?

I'll be right back.

I'll see who this is.

You big,

beautiful, gorgeous hunk of man, you.

I can't wait to get a hold of you.

That's me ABC agency. Yes.

Well, what are you trying to do, psychoanalyze me?

Are you the

acting out type, the introvert?

Well, it's all according to what you want, introvert.

Do you believe in sexual promiscuity?

It's all according to what you've got in mind.

Oh, good.

You're a strange type, do you know that?

You are strange. Oh, wow.

Come on, come on. You started this, you know.

Why are you trying to really psychoanalyze me at a time?

Well,

a photographer's life is a rough one at times.

That's a little shimmy seat. That's cute.

I think you're a professional stripper. That's what I think you are.

I'll never use anybody but the ABC model ever again.

Oh, my camera will burn.

The film is impossible.

Playtime's over again.

Stay back.

Wow, are you for real?

I thought I was worn out.

But after looking at you, I feel almost like a new man. I mean, almost.

Say, I got a couple of friends I want you to meet.

I had no idea you looked so ravishing. You make me feel like King Kong.

Well, my dear, what agency do you come from?

Oh, I'm not from an agency.

My girlfriend recommended me to you. Oh, my.

My reputation must be getting around.

Let's have a little undressing music, shall we?

Well, turn around. Turn around.

What a day. What a day. What a day.

Well, my heavens, what a body.

If you ask me for an opinion, all I can say is, nice, nice, nice, nice.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, just keep getting undressed. Take off the little panties,

that's right.

Say, your girlfriend must be a pro.

I'm glad you called me today. I wouldn't miss the shooting for anything in the

world. Every angle you have is better than the last.

From the top of your head to the bottom of your toe, you make me want to go, go,

go.

Well, come along.

Introduce yourselves.

Hi. Hi.

I'm Ella.

Susan. I'm Linda.

Oh, my.

I tell you, the photography business isn't what it used to be.

Oh, yeah.

Damn.

It's a clean. Who the hell do you think I am?

I came to pick up a fare.

Is it 4 -3 -3 -2?

This is 4 -3 -3 -3.

4 -3 -3 -3.

Well,

where are you going? I'll keep going.

I came to pick up a fare. I got to get a fare and I got to make my money.

Wait a minute.

Maybe I have an affair for you.

Oh?

I would like to take one of those broads for a ride.

How far? As far as that bed will take you.

Do you want to dress this more often?

Somebody can't get in.

Hello?

All this I don't believe when it rains it really pours.

Where did you come from?

Well, come on in my dear

Well, are you from the agency?

Of course I am. Oh,

wow.

I'm Smorgasbord.

Oh, yes, yes. I've been an actor the whole afternoon. Jump right in.

Jump right in.

Be my guest.

That is a...

a party galore. Can I help you? Oh, thank you.

Oh,

we always did like leather around here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, you know, every once in a while you have to have people out of your

I wish I was a Frenchman and I could talk that kind of dialogue.

Well, you're living like one.

Well, I see that somebody is over there.

However, I have had a little bit of a problem this afternoon.

Oh, how could I? I don't know. Why don't you just stop in and join the party?

You certainly came around at the right time.

You don't know what you've been missing.

What I'm going to show you right now will be a feast before your very eyes.

What thinkest thou of thy marvelous merrymaking?

All those... Gorgeous body is the weight you're bidding, my dear.

You look like a girl who loves mirrors.

I just got bit.

What am I standing here for?

I might as well join them again.

Oh, that's it. You're doing fine, baby.

And here I come, ready or not.

Dolly, on my left, may I present Sheila.

Behind you is Casey.

And the cab driver, Jerry.

The girl, Pat, Linda.

I need a coffee break

Sorry about that.

Well, get to make the best of what you got.

Peace and quiet at last.

Right now, I'm glad I'm not young anymore.

Careful, careful.

My God, don't they ever stop?

Oh shit!

Thank you.

Thank you.

We need another child together.

Thank you.

Easy, girls.

Easy, easy.

I only had those...

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Where am I going to snatch

that?

Here I am, reduced to crawling like a webbed dog.

I

wonder

who honked.

I don't know if I'm going to make it.

I wish I had a supporter.

Four more girls.

I don't believe it.

It's not true.

It can't be true. It can't be true. It can't. It can't.

Where's the leak?

Which one?

There's got to be a leak here somewhere.

This isn't real. It can't be. I must be dreaming.

But I'm not.

I can't make it.

I can't make it.

And you will learn.

I don't understand this at all. What's going on? What are you doing? What are

you doing? Don't worry. You will understand.

What kind of girls are you?

Put this on.

Now that will be your uniform for action. And when that wears out, there

more.

Girls have got to be out of your mind.

This?

With or without the pants?

That's for you to decide.

I certainly hadn't expected to see so many strangers all in one day.

Well, then you shouldn't have called the agency in the first place.

Remember this, Mr. Murphy.

We don't let everybody into our club who answers an ad. There are many trials to

be met.

Get more of your costume, Izzy. Put these on.

This must be the wrong shift. We've got a bunch of hair on us.

Exactly the right size.

Oui, madame.

He's cute.

Well, he does bulge in all the right places. Do you think he's going to be a

most interesting submissive subject?

On your knees, slave.

I said, on your knees, slave.

dainty girl's clothing when you kneel do.

That's an order.

And I mean what I say.

A true fetish appreciates the reason it's not a fetish.

And yours would be the clothes you now wear. Appreciate them.

Appreciate them!

You'll learn.

Maybe you won't need this after all.

We'll do a left out.

I was in the service.

I think you'll find this one has quite a different meaning.

Polish her boots.

What?

What else?

Lick them.

Stopped at the plumber.

Careful where your elbow is, please.

Thank you.

Those are yours now, put them on

You do like such things, don't you, Mr. Wolf?

Well, I'm getting to like them.

But call him Murph.

You'll be called what I want to call you.

Yes, ma 'am.

And the rest of the girls, too.

Do you have to feel a silk, Mr. Dundon?

Why, I...

Haven't had much opportunity to find out.

Well, you will now.