Original subtitles

COMMENTATOR: Maradona... Maradona...

Maradona! CHEERING

Onside! It's Messi!

Lionel Messi!

Cuts inside. Pele.

That's a lovely pass.

Carlos Alberto! Oh, my word!

UNTRANSLATED COMMENTARY

So, guys, David will be with us shortly.

Great, Gabriela. Thanks. Sir David. Sir David. Exactly. He's arriving.

Right. Great man.

NARRATOR: Monday morning at the headquarters

of the 2026 Oversight team in Miami.

OK, so he's here. IAN: Right.

Yeah. Uh... great.

When you say, "He's here"... His name is here.

OK. Well, that's something, I guess. Yes. It's a big name.

NARRATOR: And in the meeting room, a very special virtual meeting

is nearly about to happen.

I am going to log out and log back in again.

Right. So are you sure that's actually going to help?

So I'm doing it, yes? Yeah... I am doing it. Right. OK.

NARRATOR: This week sees the traditional unveiling of

Sir David Beckham as BLEEP's official ambassador

and talisman for the 2026 tournament.

And this morning, they're about to be joined

by the great man himself and his US agent,

manager and mouthpiece, Amy Huffman.

So how are we...?

They're here now. They're coming. He's here.

AMY: Hey, guys.

Yes. Hi. Hey, Gabriela. Great to see you, as always.

Exactly. Yes. Good to see you, too, Amy.

Hey, David. DAVID: Hey, Amy.

How are you? I'm good, yeah, I'm good.

AMY: Great. So I believe

we're not actually seeing you at the moment.

DAVID: Oh, OK. No. We're not.

No. Do you have your camera turned on?

Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

Uh, yeah, I have. OK. Um...

DAVID: I can see you guys. OK. So... Oh. Uh...

ALL: Hello, David. Hi.

DAVID: Yeah, really good to meet everybody.

Right. So... Yeah, hi, David. Good to see you.

Right. DAVID: Oh, what, so you can see me now?

What? No. AMY: No, we're still

not seeing you, David. No.

No, I'm just saying, you know, it's good to see you.

DAVID: Yeah. What? So, David,

so I am going to log out and log back in again.

Yeah. Uh... Really?

DAVID: Sorry, guys, I'm a bit confused about what's happening now.

Yeah. So. Hi, David. Welcome to our world.

ALICIA: So, according to their own estimate, OK,

the 2026 World BLEEP is going to put

3.7 million tonnes of carbon into the atmosphere.

That is the equivalent of ten major rainforests.

Like, we only have nine left.

Plus, with climate change, we know,

all of this shit affects women

more than men, right? Always. For all the reasons we know.

It's like, "Thanks, guys. Good job, great work."

And it is on all of us, right, to call this shit out.

WHOOPING IN BACKGROUND Call this shit out!

Thank you. CHANTING: Call this shit out!

OK, so... OK.

Right now, they're at 3 million subscribers.

OK. 3 million. But that's growing every week.

Right. It's like #CallThisShitOut, right?

Right. Call This Shit Out.

Like, you probably never heard of it, right?

Well, you know... Right. Like, you probably really should.

Right. Absolutely.

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, VP Sustainability and Climate Strategy

Sarah Campbell is in the social media space,

where she's been alerted to a potential thing

by Social Media Team Thought Leader Madison Flynn.

So, Alicia Byrd? So, they're based here in Miami.

Oh, right. OK.

So she's like an activist, right? I mean...

OK, So it's "they". OK? Excuse me?

Alicia's nonbinary. Oh, OK.

Right. Forgive me.

So sh... THEY activate about...?

Like, there's a lot of environmental stuff.

Right. Obviously. But it's pretty much anything. OK.

It's like there is so much shit in the world. It's everywhere.

Like, it's literally all around us. Absolutely.

It's like, "Call this shit out."

Like, they've totally hit a vibe here. Billie Eilish

has started following her. OK.

Reposting whatever. Plus a bunch of other people.

Right. Following them. Excuse me?

Billie Eilish has started following them.

Yeah, they've totally hit a vibe right here.

Right. This is a thing, right? Yes. It's out there.

Absolutely. And now you know about it. Absolutely. Yes. Right.

AMY: So, look, I don't want to speak on David's behalf here,

but you guys should know, right,

we are so excited to be working with BLEEP again, Eric.

Exactly so.

Honestly, this is so great.

DAVID: Oh, absolutely, yeah, 100%.

Sure. Yeah. No. Look, what can I say?

It's, uh... it's a privilege.

Well, you say that, David. It's a privilege for us, right?

IAN: Well, yes, exactly. Without a doubt.

So that's all good. So, look, it's great to see you.

Not literally on this occasion, sadly.

NARRATOR: Back in the meeting room,

with the David Beckham experience coming to a close,

it's time for everybody to wave at each other

like children, and say goodbye.

Bye, Sir David. Bye-bye, Sir David. AMY: Bye, guys.

Take care.

OK, well. Have they gone? Sure.

Good. Just checking. So that seemed to go OK in the end.

Sure. Yeah, right! What a guy, eh? Yes. So, anyway, Gabriela,

if you could send the draft schedule for Thursday

over to David and to Amy.

OK, so I have just done that. Great.

And to Zurich as well, Eric? Of course.

Zurich? Just for feedback ahead of Thursday. Exactly.

OK... I mean just as a courtesy, really, Eric.

Exactly so. OK, good. So...

What kind of feedback? Uh, so we can say

the president is a man for detail, as we know.

Well, yes. NICK: Yeah, right.

We know he's been thinking a lot about David, for instance. Right.

Huh. About David?

For example, yes. OK.

What do you mean, thinking about David? Yes.

We're all thinking about David.

Well, exactly. Yes. So what does that mean, then,

thinking about David?

Well, exactly. What should it mean?

Uh, should it mean someone like Megan Rapinoe instead?

Perhaps. For example. Right. OK.

Well, there you go. Megan Rapinoe?

As I say, this is just an idea.

Huh. Well, but hang on...

Are you kidding? Oh, my God, Megan Rapinoe!

You're not serious. Again... Instead of David? Dios mio.

Again, this is just an example.

Well, yes, but... Megan Rapinoe is not just an example. What?

Megan Rapinoe, su es genia, no?

Yeah. What?

Oh, yeah, no, crap.

Meanwhile, with the meeting now threatening

to go on longer than originally scheduled,

Executive Assistant Will Humphries is already

hard at work in the kitchen in a bid to get ahead of the game

with his caffeine duties.

You need help? Yeah. No. Yeah. No. Yeah.

So do you, like, know where the new coffee pods are? Sure.

And at the same time,

fellow executive assistant Emily Nash

is on a similar mission all of her own.

WHIRRING

PHIL: I'm sorry, guys, I'm sorry, Eric,

but, for me, this is poor thinking.

We're in a great position with David.

OK, so... The guy's a legend on and off the pitch.

One of the finest dead-ball kickers of all time,

without question. Well, let's...

So what we do is we game-change the optics here completely.

Yes? What?

Fuck's sake. I mean, Eric, perhaps you can

talk us through Zurich's thinking here.

NARRATOR: In the meeting room, it's starting to look as if

the signs are suddenly pointing

towards ex-American star footballer

and style icon Megan Rapinoe,

instead of ex-British star footballer

and style icon David Beckham

as official BLEEP ambassador for the 2026 tournament.

So, of course, we love David.

Right. How can you not?

For so many of us, he is the son

we could never quite have. Yeah, exactly. What?

Thank you, Emily.

With Qatar, there was a moment in the sand,

and it was David's, of course. But what we know about sand

is that it is shifting underneath us

all the time, yes? Right.

Perhaps we are in a different moment today.

Si. Maybe we have a new story to tell. Si, exacto.

So, with Rapinoe, you are talking about the future. Yes?

OK... Not talking about the past.

The future of the women's game, fine -

which is great, by the way. Yeah. Right.

Yes. No. Of course. Exactly.

So the future of the women's game

is the future of the men's game. Yes?

Exactly so. Huh.

So, Eric... KNOCKING ON GLASS

Uh, yes? Hi. Will. Come in.

So, Eric, just to be clear about this,

because there's a lot to process here...

NARRATOR: With global attention focused on Thursday's announcement,

they're aware that there's a lot still to get right,

and potentially even more to get wrong.

I mean, so just to be clear, are you saying, then, Eric...

Thanks, Will, great. Yeah. No, that's fine. Thanks.

Yeah, so... No, that's fine, thanks.

OK, cool. I mean, just to clarify, Eric, exactly where we are here.

GABRIELA: Sure. OK. One thing we do know is

we're three days away from this,

so we have to be absolutely clear

about what we're doing and why we're doing it.

That'd be something, right?

OK. You want to know where we are here? Well...

I'll tell you where we are. Where we are here is,

this was a fucking banana race.

Right. Banana race?

Right? And no-one told us. OK, well...

Turns out we backed a fugazi. Right.

That's where we are. Yes. Right. Good.

Will. Yeah. Hi. Yeah.

I was trying to find you. Yeah. I don't know.

NARRATOR: With the meeting over, Ian has found Will in the kitchen.

I just thought you might want this back.

What? Yeah, no, crap. It's a bit sticky.

I'm not sure if they're cappuccino proof.

I mean, they probably are. Yeah. No worries. Yeah. Crap.

Also, whilst I'm here, I just wanted to say actually...

Yeah, I know, yeah. No. Hang on. Wait. I wanted to say

you don't need to apologise for yourself -

generally, I mean. OK, sorry.

Everyone knows who you are now. Yeah, I know.

No, that's a good thing. Oh, OK.

You're my assistant. I don't quite know how that happened,

but you are. It's official. So it's OK to act like you are.

OK, cool. Yeah. I mean,

what are you doing in here emptying the dishwasher,

for example? Yeah, I don't know. It was beeping.

Yes. Well, anyway... Also, whilst we're on the subject,

if it's OK with you... Yeah. Cool. Yeah.

Hang on, I haven't said it yet. OK. If it's OK with you,

I was going to put your contact details

on my page on the website and all my work social media

from now on. OK.

It'd be good for people to have a first point of contact,

then we can have a system. OK, cool. Yes, but when I tried

to add you, it wouldn't let me for some reason. Right.

Just checking you've got everything set up correctly.

Yeah, no. Say again. You know,

with your Oversight account and everything.

Yeah. Right.

Yeah. No worries. Yeah. Cool.

GABRIELA: So she is young, yes? She is... They. Excuse me?

They are. Exactly. Yes. They're young, they're Gen Z,

they have their own channel and they want to change the world.

We all want to change the world.

I want to change the world. Yeah. Me too. Exactly.

So you go over there, you appear on the podcast live,

and you tell your story to 3 million subscribers.

Not her story. Right. Not THEIR story.

Exactly. No. Ours. Right.

This is what I am saying. Yes. Right.

I'm glad we got that straightened out.

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, Sarah is with VP Logistics and Execution

Owen Mitchell

and VP Optics and Narrative Gabriela de la Rosa.

So we've been working on this for a while now. Huh.

NARRATOR: With a strategy taking shape for how to respond

to activist Alicia Byrd's Call This Shit Out podcast,

she's taking them through

some ideas her team has come up with.

OK. Wooden toothbrush.

Right. Huh.

Made from 100% recycled floorboards.

Yeah. Um... Sure. It's perfect.

Absolutely, right?

Ay. Dios mio.

Oh, so they are really cool. Oh, my God. Is this...?

Biodegradable condoms.

Jesus. Oh, my God. That's so cool.

So we're looking at products that are relevant to the lives

of these young men from all over the world.

And we give each player their own Earth Bag. Bueno.

And what we're saying is, "You guys can make a difference."

Right. Exactly. This is

the perfect story to tell. Thank you.

Just out of interest, did you guys ever consider

biodegradable toothbrushes and wooden condoms?

What? Yeah, cos that really would be something, right?

OK, so that's not actually funny.

No. No. Right.

NARRATOR: Elsewhere, Ian has gone to touch base

with BLEEP Chief Coordinating Attache, Eric Van Dupuytrens.

Do you happen to know how long he's going to be?

So, actually, I don't. Right. No.

Would you like a chair? No, thanks.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

Like, you look amazing. Oh, my God.

Like, it's not me. It's the power of Megan, right?

Totally. Spread the pink!

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, with news spreading that Megan Rapinoe

is favourite to be the new 2026 official ambassador,

Social Media Team Thought Leader Madison Flynn

and her team have come up with an epic idea.

It would be, like, millions of people

posting pictures of themselves Rapinoed.

Right. Right. Whoever they are,

whatever they're doing, wherever they are in the world.

Oh, my God. Like, I would totally do that. Right. Me too.

We get this out there,

we drop it with the announcement. I mean...

Pow! Right?

#SpreadThePink. Like boom!

Right. Right. Right?

Yeah. Right. This is huge.

Like, this could be way bigger than Covid, right?

Yeah... Right. Like, I can totally see that.

Yeah. Right, right, right.

Ian? Yes. Hi.

I'm sorry. Have you been waiting long?

Uh, well, you know. Then again,

we know that time will pass

whether we are waiting for it or not. Yes?

Yes. Please. Thank you, Emily.

NARRATOR: Back over in the real world, meanwhile,

Ian has finally made it all the way into Eric's office.

He's keen to clarify a few things

in relation to Thursday's ambassador announcement.

LOUD SPEECH ON TV So just to be absolutely clear

about this, are you...?

Actually, could we turn this down a bit? Is that OK?

Of course. It's just a bit difficult to, you know... Absolutely. Yes.

Great. Thanks.

TV: It's the active smart penetration. Wow!

So just to be absolutely clear...

VOLUME DECREASES ...are you saying that Zurich

has actually been in contact with Megan Rapinoe about this?

Well, we can say this is a dynamic situation as we speak.

Right. OK. Right.

What we know is that the president is his own man.

Yes. Well, that's great. In fact,

I believe it was Yoko Ono who actually suggested the idea to him.

Yoko Ono? I believe so. Yes. Well. OK.

Uh, actually, no, I am going to ask this -

what was he doing with Yoko Ono?

Well... So they are old friends, of course.

Of course. Yes. Truly an extraordinary woman.

Yes. Well, anyway, um, but just to be clear about one thing...

Of course. There are a number of ways

this could play out, quite a lot of them not good.

One thing I know isn't going to happen.

I'm not doing this. Ah, yes.

I'm not telling David. Yes.

If this is Zurich's decision, fine, that's great.

Completely. But it's their duty

to speak with him. No, completely.

And that needs to happen now.

Then we can say that is, without question,

something that can be done.

Right. Exactly so.

TV VOLUME INCREASES

Ah. Die Deutschen lieben ihre Pflegecreme. Ja?

Ja. Yes.

JINGLE ON TV

IAN: Well, I mean, it's lovely, obviously.

Well, thank you, Ian. No, really. I mean...

Well, I mean, it's got a really nice feel.

I will say... So, there are fancier apartments,

but what you want is somewhere that feels like a safe space

to come back to, right? Yes. Well, I mean...

When you come in, whatever else is happening in the world?

Yes, yes. No. It's great.

NARRATOR: It's Wednesday morning,

and in a busy week,

Sarah has found time before work to show Ian around

the condo she moved to with her daughter, Lily,

two years ago,

when she left her then-husband after finding out some things.

Well, so, um, in terms of the practicalities...

Sure. Because we haven't really

talked about that. Absolutely.

Yes, I mean, what are the practicalities?

Right. So I moved out already, as you know. OK.

It was always supposed to be temporary. Right.

So now it's going to be sold. At least I thought it was.

But it turns out

there are some technicalities around that, legally,

which I didn't know about and which are taking some time. Right.

I won't get into the details, if that's OK with you.

No, of course.

This stuff is complicated, right? Yes.

But in the meantime, it's here, right? Yes.

Right. So...

So, just to say, from my point of view, though,

it would all have to be, you know...

Oh, my gosh. You know,

I absolutely wouldn't want any special...

Oh, my gosh, that's so British.

Well, OK, But anyway, still.

So we're both grown-ups here, right?

Yes. Well, I mean... Neither of us planned this.

Yes. You mean...? This condo is empty.

Right. For whatever reasons. Yes.

There's this British guy in Miami looking for somewhere. Yes.

Like I said, neither of us planned it this way, but sometimes...

Yes. ..it's like, why would this not happen, right?

Yes.

ZACH ON VIDEO: OK. So this...

MIA: Woo. Thank you.

Hey. Nice catch. Thank you.

This is a genuine, bona fide official

BLEEP 2026 soccer ball. MAN: OK.

And it could be yours, right? Yeah...

All you have to do is agree to get Rapinoed today.

Rapinoed? Right. Because, starting today

we are going to Rapinoeify the world.

OK. Rapinoe!

One person at a time. Rapinoe!

And you could be number one. Spread the pink!

NARRATOR: In the meantime, the social media team

have been out trialling their new Spread The Pink campaign

in the real IRL.

I don't want the soccer ball.

OK, cool. Like, why would I?

OK. It's gone. Woo!

Like, I get it. Like, I get Megan Rapinoe. She's great. Right.

But I kind of like my hair the way it is, you know?

Right, right, right. Like, it's part of who I am.

Right. I like your hair too. We love your hair.

Like, I like my hair too, right? Right.

And I did it, right? Right.

I mean, right. Right?

Right, right.

OK. So... That's it?

Yeah. I mean... That's all we've got?

So this is like a try-out. This was just like

this super random guy, right? Totally.

Megan Rapinoe is here tomorrow.

Right. Megan Rapinoe will be here.

Right. So this is like proof of concept, right?

Proof of concept? Yeah. Right, right, right.

There's half a million people in this city.

So what this shows is you literally only need one guy

to say yes here, right? What?

One guy. Literally. Yeah. Right, right, right.

Crap.

Will? ERROR ALERT BOINGS

Yeah. No, crap. Are you OK?

Well, yeah, I don't know. It won't accept my face. OK.

NARRATOR: Later in the day, it's the afternoon,

and Will Humphries is busy

trying to activate his official Oversight email account

as Ian's actual assistant.

You set up facial recognition already, right?

Well, yeah, I don't know.

Like, it says, "Hello, face," but it won't accept it.

Fortunately for him,

Social Media Sentiment Curator Mia So isn't far away.

OK, cool. You're looking right at the camera.

OK. So eyes open. OK. Crap. Yeah.

OK. Just analysing your features here.

OK. Thanks.

The software.

Oh, yeah, no, crap.

FANFARE PLAYS OK. You're all done.

OK. You're accepted.

You're all set. Cool.

So there was nothing wrong with your face, right?

Yeah. Like, whenever I have my photo taken,

I always look the same.

OK.

So, that's a bad thing?

Yeah. OK.

Well, yeah, I think so. Yeah. Right.

GABRIELA ON PHONE: She has landed already. She is here.

IAN: Well, that's good news. Excellent.

NARRATOR: It's Thursday, and Ian is on his way across town.

GABRIELA: She loves Spread The Pink. Oh, my God,

she loves it. Right. So that turned out

to be quite a good idea in the end.

Exactly. Yes. So this is my job, no?

Yes. Good.

NARRATOR: With Gabriela stationed at the airport

to meet incoming 2026 ambassador Megan Rapinoe,

this is a big day for the game of soccer,

for BLEEP and for optics everywhere.

So, look... GABRIELA: Oh, my God,

I can see her! Right.

She is here. I can see her pink hair!

So I'll... Hola! Megan! I'll...

Estas aqui, en Miami! I'll make sure everyone's...

LINE BEEPS Oh, right, she's gone.

Right. OK, good.

NARRATOR: By ten o'clock,

Ian has arrived at the Krassman Center

for Performative Culture and Arts in Brickell.

Eric, it's Ian. Just to say I've arrived.

Not sure if you're here already

or whether you heard that Megan has landed,

which is a relief, obviously, but... Jesus Christ!

Anyway, I'm here, so, er,

give me a call or message me and we'll speak soon. OK. Bye.

Will! Yeah. Hi. Yeah.

So I got here early. Yes.

I found out where the coffee is and they gave me your lanyard.

Great. Thanks. Yeah. It's for your neck. Yes.

So, I mean, obviously, this is none of my business,

but, I mean, what happened with the...?

What? Yeah, no. When I said you don't need

to apologise for yourself, I didn't necessarily mean

dyeing your hair pink. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, like it was Mia's idea. Right. OK.

Yeah. So I had to pretend to be this ordinary guy.

Ordinary? Like on the street,

like for this video, Spread The Pink.

Yes. Well, it's one way of making yourself visible, I suppose. Yeah.

I mean, not that it doesn't suit you, obviously.

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that's what David said.

Yes. Right. David who? Yes, so David Beckham.

David Beckham? Yeah. I know, pretty cool.

He's here. He's fucking here!

Right. OK. Yeah, I actually got

some coffee for him. That's how I know where it is.

INDISTINCT

ALICIA: So I'm here with Head of Sustainability

and Climate Strategy for the 2026 BLEEP Cup,

Sarah Campbell. Absolutely.

Sarah, thanks for coming on the show today.

Absolutely. It's nice to be here.

Great. So as we know, the 2026 World BLEEP

is going to be hosted by the US, Canada and Mexico

and is going to be one of the biggest environmental disasters

in, like, forever.

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, VP Sustainability and Climate Strategy

Sarah Campbell

has gone across town to fashionable Wynwood

to appear live on activist Alicia Byrd's daily podcast

and take control of the narrative.

So, you've got, like, 2,500 miles

between Mexico City and Vancouver. Yes.

And 2,700 miles between Boston and San Francisco?

Exactly. Right. So you're not going

to be making those journeys on a bike, right?

Well, that's... No, you're going to be,

like, 38,000 feet, whatever,

burning fossil fuel like it's going out of style.

Well, but so... Which it literally is. Right?

Well, no, because... I mean, yes, it is,

but that's the point.

So, our logistics are unique, absolutely.

But that's why we have a unique opportunity

to raise awareness around those issues.

OK. Wow. Environmentally,

2026 is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to make a difference.

Yeah, I think I get it now. Truly.

Right. The bigger the disaster you are environmentally,

the more you raise awareness of how catastrophic that is.

Absolutely. Excuse me? I can see that working. No.

You know what? That's actually pretty neat.

No.

NARRATOR: Back at the Krassman Center, meanwhile,

with Megan Rapinoe and her people now arrived

and in the room with David Beckham

and his people at the same time,

it looks like they've ended up

with at least one too many ambassadors

and quite possibly too many people.

Ian, welcome. Yes.

You remember Amy, of course?

Amy. Yes. Hi, Ian.

Who has actually flown in from LA. Really? Indeed so.

Well, you gotta be here for this, right?

Absolutely, yes. And here you are. Right. Yes.

So, Eric, shall we just have a quick catch-up

on practicalities? Of course, yes.

Well, if you'll forgive us for a moment.

Sure. You guys do what you gotta do, right?

NARRATOR: In his official role as BLEEP's Director of Integrity,

Ian has suddenly found himself dealing with

what can only be described as a situation.

What have you told him? What have you said to them?

So the president is in a meeting with Elton John.

Elton John? Apparently,

he cannot be disturbed.

We agreed that, if they wanted Megan Rapinoe,

Zurich were going to have to handle David. Yes.

We agreed that. Exactly. So what happened?

So what we can say is that what we know

is that once the referee has blown his whistle,

then the game has started

and no-one can know how it ends.

OK. If it's OK with you, I'm going to ignore that

because I don't know what it means.

Absolutely. Yes, of course. Yes.

OK, so what happens here is,

what we do, we control this. Yes? Right.

Someone has to tell David. Yes. Someone has to tell him.

Absolutely, yes. Yes, I know that.

Si, that is what I am saying - before it is too late.

Yes. OK. So? Or someone has to tell Megan, I guess.

What?! Excuse me?

Well, no, that's a whole other... No way. Right?

Tell Megan? Yeah.

No way.

With important people's people now starting to talk to each other

in the room, Ian's job is to keep his team calm in a situation

where everyone knows that that's, by some margin,

the least sensible option.

This is not OK. It's one or the other now, basically.

No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry, but for me...

No, no, no. ...it's a no-brainer.

No soy estupido, OK? Yeah. What?

I know what you're doing and you're not doing it, OK?

Look, this isn't helping, OK?

What we've managed to establish is that someone needs

to tell somebody something. Exactly.

Yeah, exactly. Any moment now...

Oh, they're coming. Right. OK.

All right, here we go. Brace for impact, guys.

Engage your core. Sorry, I have to take this.

Presidente! Come va?

RECEDING: Si, pronto!

Hi, guys. Hey, Amy. Hey, Kim.

Hi. Yes. Hi.

Those are so cool. Bamboo socks.

Right. They're bamboo,

but they're actually washable and reusable,

just like regular socks.

So why not just gift them regular socks, then?

Excuse me? It's just like

organic cotton is literally one of the most

environmentally friendly materials we have.

But these are bamboo.

NARRATOR: Back over in Wynwood,

Sarah has unleashed her big idea on Alicia Byrd.

100% recycled floorboards. Of course. Yeah.

Whoa! Wait!

OK, so they're really cool.

No way! So we wanted to focus

on products that are relevant to these young men, but...

And also to women, obviously.

But also... And to other more people of...

Really just pretty much everybody, you know -

following our theme of raising awareness.

Right, right.

Hence, things like wooden condoms and biodegradable...

Wooden condoms?! No, wait. Excuse me.

Holy fuck! No! Wooden toothbrushes.

Guys, I think we just got ourselves a world first!

LAUGHTER Wooden condoms, everybody.

WHOOPING No.

NARRATOR: In the meantime, at the Krassman Center,

with the clock ticking down relentlessly,

there had been some intense negotiations behind the scenes.

So, cutting to the chase, we might have a solution

that I think I can say everyone is happy with -

if happy is the right word. Perfect.

NARRATOR: The new plan is for the event to become

a symbolic passing of the baton from one icon to another,

with David Beckham as outgoing ambassador

passing an official BLEEP 2026 football to Megan Rapinoe

as incoming ambassador.

The future of the game is now in different, equally safe

but, in the end, pinker hands.

OK. Ay, Dios mio. OK, cool.

Yeah. Cool. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Genius. Luckily, one good thing about it -

if Amy and Kim can sell that as an idea

to their respective clients, all we need now is a football.

Sure. OK.

An official BLEEP one, obviously. Exactly. Yes. Cool.

Yeah. So... Yeah. No. Great.

OK. OK. OK. Oh, great!

What? No way.

Oh, of course. Like, no way.

NARRATOR: But as is often the case with the best ideas,

it's all about the detail.

And in this case, the problem is

that they haven't got the one detail they actually need.

I mean, there must be a sport shop somewhere near here.

OK, so there's a Dick's in Overtown,

A Dick's? Yeah. No, there is. Yeah.

Where's Overtown? OK. So...

Where's Overtown? Yeah. WILL: Yeah. No.

OK, so it's four miles away. Four miles? WILL: Crap.

20 minutes by car.

20 minutes? Great.

Yeah. No, crap. Sorry, Will...

Yeah. Can you just...?

Yeah, no. No, really, we're trying to...

Yeah, no, cos I've got one. What?

Yeah, in my bag. Yeah. You've got a football?

Yeah, I don't know. Like, they gave it to me when they did this.

Right? There you go.

Oh, my God. Oh, Will, that's... OK, cool.

What can I say?

Will, de mi corazon ahora si que sacaste las pelotas, no?

Yeah. No question. Yeah. Yeah. No worries. Yeah, cool.

It's now in different, equally safe

but, in the end, pinker hands.

So perhaps we can say the big moment has arrived. Yes?

CORONATION ANTHEM PLAYS Guys, please.

APPLAUSE AND WHOOPING

DAVID: Yeah. There you go. Hold that.

NARRATOR: Finally, after being moments away from disaster

all morning, it's starting to look as if

it might actually be too late for that.

REPORTERS CLAMOUR

Danke schon. Danke schon. Grazie. Grazie. Grazie mille.

NARRATOR: With the event over,

it's time to assess how things have landed on social media.

And there's general agreement in Zurich and beyond

that things have not just gone perfectly,

but exactly as planned.

ERIC: We try. Yes? We try.

NARRATOR: But football is a funny game, and it turns out

that this is a day on which other things

are landing on social media at the same time,

and not in a good way.

SARAH: Wooden condoms and biodegradable...

Wooden condoms?! Wooden condoms and biodegradable... Wooden condoms?!

Wooden condoms and...

Right. OK.

How could she have done this? Well, hang on.

It's literally everywhere. Exactly.

Like Nicki Minaj has just reposted it.

Bueno. SHE CURSES

So first of all, before we start blaming anyone...

Exactly. I prepare with her especially for this,

then she scores an own goal. OK, so let's just...

PHONE BUZZES Oh, hang on.

Sarah? Yes. Hi.

NARRATOR: At the end of the day,

it's never over until it's over,

and it's one game at a time.

Well, as it happens, I have, yes.

I've just seen it, yes. So that's all good.

Yes. So, I mean...

Sarah?

Sarah, are you OK?

Sarah?