All language subtitles for This.Is.Not.a.Murder.Mystery.S01E04.The.Phantom.Lady.1080p.ALL4.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-RAWR_track3_[eng]

I've been talking
to Sheila Legge's lawyer.

She left £3 million.
To who? Mr Salvador Dali.

Does this mean we're all suspects?

Signed by Gala Dali!

I lied about the death of
an innocent child.

MUFFLED SHOUTING
WHISTLE BLOWS

I wanted her gold teeth to sell.

Aren't you paid?

There's one missing.

Man Ray is the father
of Sheila's son.

A Goddamn child with another woman!

Who are you?

Mrs Magritte.
ELT! I am Magritte's agent.

Husband wakes up next to a corpse

after spending all night
in bed with her.

Would you like Da Vinci
to be eternal?

Yeah.

Brighton 2948.

TELEPHONE RINGS

TELEPHONE RINGS

DOOR OPENS
RINGING CONTINUES

LINE CLICKS

Hello?

Hello?

Is this...

CLOCK CHIMES

CLOCK CHIMING

LINE BEEPS

CLOCK CHIMING

SHE PLAYS PIANO

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

BIRDSONG
COCKEREL CROONS

Morning. Morning, Jukes.

HE SINGS SOFTLY

Oh! Hello!

JUKES SIGHS

I beg your pardon, Mr... Mesens.

Anything I can help sir with, sir?

Oh, yes, my friend.

You need to get me some
quality face time with the boss.

You may find that my boss is
rather busy today.

Is that so?

Archibald Jukes, I believe.

It is you, right? Or not?

Who had a show in my friend's
art gallery in Brussels,

some ten, maybe 15 years ago?

What gallery sir would that be, sir?

Paul Dirickx Fine Art Gallery
in Les Marolles.

Never heard of it. Sorry.

I'm not of your station.
I'm only the hired help.

I wouldn't claim to be an artist,

but thank you for thinking
so highly of me.

I am the personal assistant
of my Lord James, and proudly so.

A proper job with meaningful duties.

And I've worked here
a very long time, sir.

I can hear your last two
braincells crackling, copain.

Just teasing!

I meet so many people, I must have
got mixed up with someone else.

Yeah. Now, please, call your boss.

This is the main space here
in the house -

something that
somebody's working on,

but please make sure
to make yourselves at home.

Er, sorry to interrupt.

Dearest guests, may I introduce you
to the new arrivals.

The Lady Georgette Magritte,
and Mr, er...

Good morning. My name is
Edouard Leon Theodore Mesens.

But please, just call me ELT.

Howdy, Georgette. Oh, hi.

Finally, we get to hang out
with the Belgian missus.

George-something, was it?

Georgette, Miss Miller.

Well, I can see why
you've been hiding her.

Yeah. She's exactly 214 times
too good for me.

At least.

Yes.

Finally.

A breath of fresh air.

Why are they allowed in
when we can't go out?

Would you fancy a drink?

Yes, thank you.

So, why is everybody so down?

Eh? Is it because of
the dead bodies?

Or is there too much booze
and shagging going on?

ELT LAUGHS

I'll join you in a jiffy.

In Brussels, we say...

Jesus Christ!

Eh, I love your egg.

Penny for your thoughts, Quant?

Why did Sheila Legge leave
everything to Dali,

instead of her only living relative,
Lord James?

Especially as she's been living here

since the death of
her child last summer.

It's not like our Lordship
need the money.

She's supposed to be one of the
richest Lords in the land, right?

But the estate doesn't seem to be
well maintained.

Hang on a second.

Jay Poots - remember?

Our butter boy? Yeah.

His alibi was solid.

Do you know what it was?

A second job, down the local pub!

Do you reckon
she's not paying her staff?

Poots said he badly needed
money for food.

Do you remember
what you first said to me,

on our first case together?

Refresh my memory.

"Love, jealousy or money, Quant.

"All crimes lead to at least one."

Not a bad impression.

But you're right.

And most of the time, it's money.

We'll look into it.

You coming?

Er, no. You go on ahead.

There's something else
I want to check first.

What's that?

Logistics.

SHE PLAYS PIANO

Hello, Operator. I'd like to place
a call to France.

To the Societe Immobiliere
Cote d'Azur.

Yes, to a Mr Turgenev.

Number is Cannes 5123.

W-What do you mean, disconnected?

Cannes 5123.

Try again.

Are you sure?

PIANO CONTINUES

PIANO STOPS

HE SIGHS

DOOR SHUTS

Oh, I beg your pardon, Mrs Magritte!

Oh, Georgette, please.

Was that you playing Schubert?

Yes.

Truly beautiful.

Music has that unique power,
doesn't it?

I won't lie to you.

It touches me deeper than you know

what your husband
and his colleagues do.

And surrealism,
it comes from the brain,

but music, ah, comes from the soul.

Erm...

If Rene is using his brain,
it's only to protect his heart.

Or is he just a curious sort?

I mean, you may have noticed,

he's sunk his teeth into
this case like a hunting dog

into a defenceless pheasant.

Well, he thinks it's his duty
to save every poor soul, I'm afraid.

Where does that come from? Ego?

Well, when Rene was a child...

...his mother jumped into the river.

She killed herself.

Oh, dear.

WATER SPLASHING

HUSHED MURMURING

His father was a tormented man

who didn't know how
to deal with his grief,

so he decided it was all his fault.

Rene he was out playing, so...

...he came back too late that evening
to lock his mother into her bedroom.

C'est ta faute!
She had tried it before, you see.

And it's haunted him ever since.

As if a little boy
should bear such responsibility.

That's wrong.

And that's why you have now
a man that wants

to solve the case at all costs -

because in his mind, it's his fault.

He was supposed to watch over her,
you see, and he didn't.

I appreciate you sharing all this,
Georgette.

Well, I know that people need
a little bit of help

with the mystery named
Magritte sometimes.

It's not like he's helping us much
with his detecting -

or his painting!
SHE CHUCKLES

Well, have a good day, detective.

And be careful, please.

I will.

DISTANT CLOCK CHIMES

SHE SIGHS

Didn't see you there.

Oh. Don't worry, my young Lord.

I am also a little distracted.

By everything that's happened?

Yeah, there is that, of course.

And also life and marriage,
you know?

A quarrel with Sal.

Hm. You're too polite.

I know rumours spread
quickly around here.

I may have heard something.

Is it all resolved?

With Salva, he'll come around.

He's just acting very
dramatic, even for him.

Why?

I always handled the business side.

He's much too impulsive.

But now poor Sheila had to go and
leave him all her money.

She certainly didn't do
anyone any favours with that.

Right.

Oh. I'm rambling.

Is everything set
for tomorrow night?

Yes. All is splendid.

Just need to attend
to the final details.

Good. Hmm.

FOOTSTEPS RECEDING

Magritte! Sir.

I've been talking with your wife.

Then you're more successful than me.

Because I've been trying
to talk to her all morning,

but I seem to still... Listen.

I owe you an apology for last night.

Yes?

HE CLEARS THROAT

I apologise.

And I accept it.

Listen, I get it.

Stir things up, right?

See if I break under pressure.

Maybe.

But you didn't. So, well done.

Do you fancy joining me?

For what, sir?

Are you good with heights?

This is my proposal -
use the present circumstances

to drive the price of the art
up even more.

Nothing sells like scandal,
let alone murder.

I think you should get
the press involved.

Make it all public.

It's not bad, milord.

C'est vraiment pas mal, ah?

In fact,
we should thank the murderer.

Non?

There is perhaps something in
what you are suggesting, ELT.

Milord. I can assure you,

this scandal will multiply the value
of the artwork exponentially.

I get the picture.

Thank you.

Thank you, milord.

DOOR OPENS

DOOR SHUTS

FOOTSTEPS RECEDING

I just don't understand
how our killer

could have done all this
right under our noses.

It's like we're dealing
with a ghost!

A bloody invisible one at that.

A strong one, too.

A strong, invisible,
murderous ghost.

Quite.

I mean, you and Sheila
were already half in bed,

and anyone can move a body slightly,

but Nash?

We're looking at someone
with real muscle.

Are you sure you don't
remember anything?

Being manhandled,
picked up, big hands,

a smell, a wheezing breath?

No. No, nothing at all.

HE SIGHS

The killer could have had help.

It's a possibility.

What does your gut tell you?

That this is such
a unique kind of murder

that it has to be a maniac
who's working alone.

But then it's such a lot of work
for one person.

He has to know this
estate inside out -

and how to get around it
without being spotted.

On the other hand,
there are a lot of couples here.

A lot of couples that
would lie for each other.

Well, that's what couples do.

But how many couples
would kill for each other?

Would you kill for Georgette?

Right.

Yes, but only for her.

Listen, thank you for all your help.

Why don't you go and make it up
with your wife now?

If you can.

She's a treasure, that one.

I will.

Back to the grindstone.

I understand that you are
Director General of Babington Bank,

and that your client
has confidentiality.

But with all due respect,

this is Scotland Yard,

and there's a double homicide
investigation ongoing.

No?

And that's your final answer?

I will let my superior
officers know.

Thank you.

Wanker.

HE EXHALES

SOFT GASP

HE EXHALES

I just don't understand
how our killer

could have done all this
right under our noses.

Strong, invisible,
murderous ghost.

DUCKS HONKING

Le Nozze Di Figaro
by Wolfgang Mozart

I bet I can beat you up
to that tree there.

Who's in? Oh, you're on, girl.

No shoes.
OK.

Not you.

OK.

You'll see - she runs like a fox.

No, I'm not a fast runner.

Yeah, she runs like a fox,

but she fucks like a rabbit.

CLAPPING
Come on, girls.

Ready?

Three, two, one. Go!

THEY LAUGH

LAUGHTER

Yah!

Hey!
THEY LAUGH

THEY PANT

Oh, la-la!

Look at our own little foxy.

I bet she does fuck like a rabbit.

THEY EXHALE, CHUCKLE

Whoo!

MUFFLED CONVERSATION

Well, it's really lovely -

time away from it all.

Do you know,
this is the first time I've relaxed

since I drove through those gates
a few days ago?

Well, there might be an actual
killer staring at us

from the bushes right now.

Will you stop?

Shall we play a game?

Mmm, what kind of game?

A sex game, I hope.

I'll jump anything
that will have me at this point.

I'll pass, Gala.

But I was thinking about the game -

Is Your Husband A Killer?

GALA SCOFFS

You're all fun, aren't you?

THEY CHUCKLE

No, but seriously.

Mine's a liar, a cheater, a madman,

a small child, and a cry-baby.

But not a murderer.

No. I think so, too. No.

Hmm.

Neither is mine.

Ashes?

Why are you even here, Magritte?

All good with you and Rene?

All good?

This idiot cheated on her,
first chance he got.

No offence. Well, that's rich,
coming from you.

I cheat, yeah. It's true.

But can we call it cheating
if Salva is aware of it?

There is no betrayal.

For me, the betrayal isn't the sex.

It's the lies.

I just don't know what to do.

I could already feel him
slipping away from me, so...

Leave him?

What? No.

Make him pay, but keep him.

He loves you - it's clear.

And you love him.

But first, fuck anyone you like
to get even.

GEORGETTE CHUCKLES

How do you know
I haven't already evened the score?

GALA LAUGHS
Say again?

No.

Oh! You are one of us now, Georgina.

Welcome to the big girls club.

THEY CHUCKLE
GEORGETTE GROANS

LADIES CHUCKLING

THEY SIGH

Dieu...

He might drag you in the woods!

Be careful, starlings.

Before you know it, you'll have
a surreal baby in your belly!

THEY CHUCKLE

Some feverish make-up sex,
you reckon?

Up against a tree?

GALA GASPS
Ooh! I would even do it with a tree.

We need a drink. We sure do.

Oh, yes. Not you.

Whoa... whoa!

Mmm.

SHE MOANS, CHUCKLES

HE GRUNTS SOFTLY

Ahh!

SHE SOBS

OK.

So, like a mask,
but made of roses?

Yeah, about 500 of them.

It's very elaborate.

Did you get a sense of the face?

No. I couldn't really see it.

No. Imagine a sphere,
but covered with roses.

Like a football, but on top of
a human body, if that makes sense?

SHE SIGHS

What's this?

A performance in London
by our first victim -

only a few months ago.

The Phantom Lady, she called it.

Can I see it?

Are you saying that you saw
the ghost of Sheila Legge?

What time, exactly,
did this take place?

Half an hour ago.

All right.

Sir, it's a morbid prank, surely.

No. I believe that
Mrs Magritte came face-to-face

with our clearly deranged murderer.

I'm glad you lived to tell the tale.

Would you be able to show me the
spot where you saw this odd figure?

Yes. Of course.

Yeah, I think it was here.
FOLIAGE CRUNCHING

OK. I will have
the constables conduct a search.

Detective Quant,

that won't be necessary.

Sir?

Yes. I mean, it's...

Well, it's getting dark now.

It's no use to send
the troops in at this hour.

We'll continue this
tomorrow morning.

If you say so, sir.

I don't want to keep
Mr Magritte from his work.

And thank you both for your help.

HE CHUCKLES

That's so not true, Manny.

Look who's here.

The millionairess.

Go on, hit me.

Here too.

Stop it now, Sal.
It's OK, Manny. It's OK.

Hit me - hard and merciless -
like you are.

You got completely nuts finally.

No! I'm perfectly sane, woman. Mmm.

When you hit me in the mouth,

just like you did
by accepting Sheila's inheritance

behind my back,

signing the bloody will,
touching that blood money,

still, then,
I'll present my other cheek.

Go on, hit me -

till it bleeds.

Stop it now.

No, you stop it! Oh, you're a child.

You're dead to me, Gala!

Here comes the Spanish drama.

And what about you?
What about you?!

Promiscuous, racist,
bourgeois, money-minded snake!

You're a money-minded snake!

Any more insults for me?

Yes, plenty!

I have plenty! Hmm?

Not worth my breath. Be gone.

OK? Be gone.

Stay out of my life.
Stay out of my life!

Right. See you in the room later.

HE CHUCKLES

Don't tell anyone.

And if you do, make it a good story.

HE CHUCKLES

Hmm! There you are.

Whisky sour for Miss Miller?

Mm-hm. Everything A-OK?

Never been better.

And that's the logistics of it.
What do you think?

So the killer caught Nash
in the poppy field. Mm-hm.

Used the delivery van,
and got him all the way on the roof

via the servants' entrance. Yes.

And you believe he
or she has appeared in the clearing?

How would one get there
without being seen?

Good question.

I'm not quite sure about that yet,

but I might have a suspicion.

Still... Impressive work, sir.

Thank you, Quant.

What about your money trail?

Almost there.

Just have a few more checks to do.

Mm. Keep it up.
Take no prisoners now.

I shall retire to
the local hostelry,

where I will consume exactly
five pints of foaming ale

and think this all through.

We're close, Quant.

Downstairs tomorrow morning
for breakfast, 8:30 sharp.

Goodnight, and thank you.

Thank you, too.

Goodnight, sir.

Yep.

It looks wonderful.

Shame there's still one
in the murder room, sir.

RENE INHALES, EXHALES

CLOCK CHIMES

CLOCK CHIMES

"Brighton 2948."

LINE RINGS

MAN CLEARS THROAT

HANDLE CLATTERS

Isn't it a wonderful tribute
to my Da Vinci?

You know, I'm no sentimentalist,
Magritte, but...

...this melts the ice chip
in my heart.

Sal did us right.

Goodnight, Magritte.

BIRDSONG

SHE SIGHS HEAVILY

Are you all right? Of course not.

Max, you are my oldest friend
in this nest of vipers.

You've got to help me.

Of course.

I'd do anything for you.
You know that.

Tell me, have I fucked up?

Well, I hate to say it,
but... yes, you have.

He's my life, Maxie.

I know how close
he is to your heart.

You two are not
like any ordinary couple.

You're bulletproof.
LIQUID POURS

You and Salva will survive this -

because you have to.

I wish you were right.

I most certainly am.

Before you know it.
SHE CHUCKLES SADLY

Thank you, Max.

SHE EXHALES

Max?

Mm-hm?

Did you notice something
strange in him?

My dearest Gala,
he's the definition of strange.

I know that. I mean...

SHE HESITATES

What?

Never mind.

Are you saying that you saw
the ghost of Sheila Legge?

A strong, invisible,
murderous ghost.

OWL HOOTS

So, you understand this is crucial.

Nothing else can go wrong.

DOOR SHUTS

As you wish, my lord.

Is everything in place for tomorrow?

Shall we go over the guest list?

SOFT SINGING
♪ In the pines, in the pines

♪ Where the sun don't ever shine

♪ I'll shiver
the whole night through

♪ In the pines, in the pines

♪ Where the sun
don't ever shine... ♪

SINGING FADES OUT

HE STRAINS

HE GRUNTS

DOOR CREAKS

HE EXHALES

HE GRUNTS
BODY THUDS

Subtitles by Red Bee Media