Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:03,640
like I said, this is not a
spa. It's a rehab facility.
2
00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,130
Oi, oi, take me with ya!
3
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:08,710
How's Aine, Sho?
4
00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:11,070
Yeah, she's absolutely fantastic.
5
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:14,390
Freddie's my sister's ex. I wasn't
in the mood to pretend I liked him.
6
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,950
It's actually my son who needs tutoring.
7
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,310
Oh, right, so you don't need
help with your English, then?
8
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,430
- Oh, one of your jokes?
- It was, yeah.
9
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,710
I'm trying to fucking
respect you here, you mug!
10
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,640
God, could you not have
respected me after we had sex?
11
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:29,510
OK, so do two more questions
12
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:33,670
and I will continue to keep drying
myself with this invisible towel.
13
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:35,120
Ah, yes, the invisible towel.
14
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,390
Yeah, dentists say it's important
to floss every day, Richard
15
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:40,910
and also Etienne said I looked cool.
16
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,070
And he wouldn't lie to
me, would you, Etienne?
17
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,990
- Non.
- Non!
18
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:48,030
This came through at work and
I thought you might like it.
19
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,950
Oh, yeah? What is it?
20
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,470
- Aine.
- What?
21
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,830
- I don't know how.
- Oh, you do know how, now, come on.
22
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,910
Right, er, it's literally very
similar to the sentence above it,
23
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,790
so give it a go. What is this?
A Thousand Terrible Jokes.
24
00:01:01,340 --> 00:01:04,510
OK, yes, great, so you got
my autobiography, then?
25
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:06,190
- Exactly.
- Aine!
26
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,270
- Yes, yes, yes.
- I don't know how.
27
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:10,670
Oh, you do, we did it a
million times this morning.
28
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,510
- I don't know how.
- Come on, Etienne.
29
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:14,750
I we... we...
30
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,070
I went.
31
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:20,830
Er, yes, Richard, very good. Your
English is really coming along.
32
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:25,150
Non! Ce n'est pas juste. She asked me!
33
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,310
Etienne.
34
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,310
- I'll call him back, that was rude.
- No, no, no, Richard.
35
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,830
He's gonna have bad days. It's
fine. I have to go anyways.
36
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,830
Just run after him and give him a hug.
37
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,950
Would it be better if you went after him?
38
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,070
I know you've got to go,
but I can pay you extra.
39
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,790
Pay me extra? This isn't Pretty Woman.
40
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:49,040
Just go after him and give
him a hug. He's your son.
41
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:51,440
I'm fully aware of that.
42
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,910
- OK.
- It's fine. I understand.
43
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,230
No, you're the tutor. It's not your job.
44
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,720
Yeah, OK.
45
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:04,190
Thanks for the book, that's really funny.
46
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,000
Hey, hey, Richard.
47
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:14,430
What is the difference between
the G spot and a golf ball?
48
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,160
A man will actually
search for the golf ball.
49
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:19,960
I hate golf.
50
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,470
Right. OK.
51
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,040
'You have one message.
52
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,870
Hello, nob head! It's Freddie.
53
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,150
Guess what? I'm working
near your school today,
54
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:37,350
so if you want to meet for a drink
after work, a little catch-up,
55
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:38,750
I wanna see you.
56
00:02:48,940 --> 00:02:53,030
Yes, Mo, OK, and we have the beat.
57
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,870
So five, six, seven, eight.
58
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:59,430
♪ Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as...
59
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,790
Just Alina!
60
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,070
♪ Snow, oh! ♪
61
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,910
Voice of an angel!
62
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:09,550
♪ And everywhere that Mary
went The lamb was sure to...
63
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:10,920
Just Victor.
64
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,880
♪ Go, oh, oh ♪
65
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,790
Yeah! That's brilliant!
66
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,670
Well done, Victor. I mean,
what a talented bunch.
67
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,390
What happened to the lamb?
68
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,030
What's that? What happened to the lamb?
69
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,390
Mary HAD it. Past tense.
70
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,790
Good question. Maybe she ate the lamb.
71
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,670
Mary is psychopath maybe.
72
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,600
Or alternatively, Mary
is just a psychopath.
73
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,430
♪ Bye-bye to the Ken and the Barbie
74
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,430
♪ Bye-bye to everything you taught me... ♪
75
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,070
Oh, you done?
76
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,110
Beautiful.
77
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,990
Oh, fab, yeah.
78
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,870
- Lovely.
- You like it?
79
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:50,790
Oh.
80
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:51,990
Yeah.
81
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,510
It's very Russian-looking.
82
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,990
Yeah, thank you so much. And, look,
here's some cash for you, by the way.
83
00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,840
Oh, no, I couldn't.
84
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,510
Yeah, well.
85
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,960
Oh, God, I'm gonna be late.
86
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,430
All right, how does this...?
87
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,790
- Oh!
- Ooh, oh, my God! James, shit.
88
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,470
Aine, do not take your clothes
off in front of our students.
89
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,670
Genuinely, it won't... Yeah,
it won't happen again.
90
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,390
- OK.
- I don't mind doing it again.
91
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,270
You're probably not
helping us there, Alina.
92
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,840
- That's...
- No...
93
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,110
Hey, ow, God.
94
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,390
You steal that top, then?
95
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:40,910
Oh, no it's from Oxfam.
96
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,390
You stole it from Oxfam?
No, that's dark, mate.
97
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:47,270
Oh, no, no, no, no, I just put it on
quickly, cos I was in a rush, I...
98
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,790
I didn't wanna be late, basically.
99
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:49,950
For who?
100
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,430
I'm on a date, so...
101
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,190
With yourself? Oh, I like
that. That's powerful.
102
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,590
Yeah, no, it would be powerful
actually, but, oh, it's not.
103
00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:03,150
I mean, maybe it's not a date. I'm
actually having a drink with my ex.
104
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,270
He said he was round the
corner about an hour ago.
105
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,110
Fuck him! You should leave.
106
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,390
If only it were that simple.
107
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:12,750
It literally is that simple.
Treat yourself like a queen.
108
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,410
OK, I will.
109
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:15,990
No, seriously.
110
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,430
Every morning I wake up and I
tell myself, "I am a queen."
111
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,070
What?
112
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,830
I say that and my boyfriend hears
that and knows that to be the truth.
113
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,790
What, so you literally say out loud
to your boyfriend, "I'm a queen"?
114
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:29,750
This guy's got you waiting here
on your own like some sad loser.
115
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,550
Well, I don't know if I'm a sad loser...
116
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,310
So say it every day. Say, "I am a queen."
117
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:35,990
- Like, I am a queen.
- Go for it.
118
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,070
I am a queen.
119
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,630
And give it some welly.
120
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:42,150
- I am... God, it's actually kind of
emotional to have that much... - Mm-hm.
121
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,750
I'm a powerful queen. God, it's...
122
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,910
- Hello.
- Oh, Jesus! Oh, my God!
123
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:49,070
You nob head!
124
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,110
You all right?
125
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,080
No.
126
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,630
Sorry if I'm, if I'm late. Am I... late?
127
00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,550
I was just having a beer with a friend.
128
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,400
Oh, my God, you have a
friend. That is so cute.
129
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:05,560
Hi.
130
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,040
Hi!
131
00:06:12,180 --> 00:06:13,950
You're really a nob head.
132
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,630
Just take the shot.
133
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,390
Your hair looks nice.
134
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,710
- Does it? - Yeah, you like
a lovely little brown sheep.
135
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:20,830
- Aww.
- Bam.
136
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,430
Ow! Freddie, that actually
hurt me on a bruised bit.
137
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,910
Don't do that. You shouldn't
hit a woman, it's awful.
138
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:26,610
Sorry.
139
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:31,630
- Your face. - Actually, can you
not...? Don't do that. It's not funny.
140
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,390
Oh, come on, I was
having a laugh with you...
141
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,470
- Oh!
- You got me!
142
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:37,950
Played you, lady.
143
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,710
So, how is it not living with Shona?
144
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,470
Er, yeah, brilliant. Brill... Yeah,
I'm just doing really brilliant.
145
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,390
Erm,... my flatmate Bradley who I've...
146
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,350
- Ooh!
- What?
147
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,800
You having sex with Bradley?
148
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,630
Er, well, I wish,
149
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,870
because the noises he gets
out of his girlfriend...
150
00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,750
- Ooh! - .. are just...
- Louder than us?
151
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:04,630
Yes, Freddie, louder than
when you used to honk my boobs.
152
00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:06,910
Ma, ma, uh-huh, uh-huh...
153
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,070
Ahh, ahh.
154
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,470
Er,... so the good thing
is I can now finally sleep
155
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:12,990
because she just dumped him.
156
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,670
- Great news. - Yep, I mean, he's
devastated, but good news for me.
157
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:20,150
Erm,... and then Shona... is...
158
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,470
Yeah, she's good. She's on a
romantic weekend with Vishy boy.
159
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,590
Somewhere posh where they, like,
don't have any phone reception.
160
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,310
Just a view of a wild
pony and some pheasants?
161
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,670
- Very much so, yes.
- He's proposing.
162
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:32,830
What?
163
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:33,870
No!
164
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,590
- Yeah, why not? - Cos Vish wouldn't
ask her without asking me first.
165
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,630
- What, are you the gatekeeper?
- Yeah, I am.
166
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:44,630
They looked loved up the other week.
I bet you 20 quid he proposes.
167
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,350
Where did you see them the other week?
168
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,390
A work event. Did she not mention it?
169
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:52,150
- No. - Ah, you guys, you
barely know each other any more.
170
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,830
Oh, shut up, Freddie,
you're annoying me now.
171
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,710
She gave me a bit of an evil eye.
And again, I swear it, she hates me.
172
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,710
Good. Yeah. Well. Yeah.
173
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,550
All the boys in the office are shit scared
174
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,830
cos of this women's networking
thing she's setting up.
175
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,910
Oh, no!
176
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,950
All the little city boys,
177
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:14,070
they all scared that the ladies
are gonna come along and take away
178
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,910
all the strippers and cocaine.
179
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,750
- That's not funny.
- The heroin is sad.
180
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,310
Well, they should be scared,
because she's working really hard
181
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,510
and it's going to be amazing.
182
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,310
Well, her and Charlotte.
183
00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:30,150
- Oh, do you know Charlotte?
- Yeah, I been doing loads of work for her.
184
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,270
She's less intimidating than Shona.
185
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,270
Cos you're not trying to
have sex with her sister.
186
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:38,000
Who says I was trying to have
sex with anyone's sister?
187
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,550
Miss it, miss it.
188
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,200
I'm going for a waz. Get me another drink.
189
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,760
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
190
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,670
Oh, hiya, me again.
191
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:57,200
You don't have, like, a tampon
or a pad on you, do you?
192
00:08:58,560 --> 00:08:59,550
You asking me?
193
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:03,750
I mean, yes, because you're
the only person in the ro....
194
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,470
Actually, do you know what? It's
fine. I'll roll up some loo roll.
195
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,630
- Wait a minute.
- Oh, do you? Oh, you legend.
196
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:13,390
Whoa, that is old school.
It's like a mini air mattress.
197
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,550
Yeah, these ones are cheaper.
198
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:20,000
Oh, yeah, of course. Well, thank
you, thank you so much. Oh, my God.
199
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,190
It'll be really comfortable
when I sit down.
200
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:26,390
Kind of like erm, a fanny bouncy castle.
201
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:31,630
Hey, do you think it's a sign
from Jesus not to sleep with my ex?
202
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:35,550
A big bloody sign. The Lord,
he does work in mysterious ways.
203
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,470
It's not like you can't
have sex on your period,
204
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,310
but not if you want to
make a good impression.
205
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,910
Unless the impression is
206
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,760
that there's been a
terrible murder on his penis.
207
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:48,720
OK.
208
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,480
Hmm. Yep.
209
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:11,590
Hey.
210
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,550
Erm, I'm gonna head.
211
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,590
Oh. OK. Did I piss you off?
212
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:22,110
No, no, no, no, it's just erm, I've
got lots of work to catch up on
213
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,750
for the morning so...
214
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:26,000
Writing out the alphabet
for the foreigners?
215
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,550
Now, you know I only know between A and C
216
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:33,270
and then after that I'm
just freestyling it out.
217
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:37,790
- OK. - Yeah. - Well, can we, erm,
do this again soon? I miss you.
218
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,590
I miss you too.
219
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,710
- I miss you more.
- No, I miss you m...
220
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:42,950
Stop.
221
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,230
Erm, well, er, you're a
gentleman and scholar.
222
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:47,450
Yes, a lovely shake.
223
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,080
- See you. - Bye. - Bye.
224
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:02,670
I am a queen.
225
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,590
'Hi, you've reached Shona's
voicemail. Leave a message.
226
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:09,190
Oh, hiya, Sho. Erm, Aine
here, surprise. Ha, ha.
227
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,670
Erm, yeah, I'm just checking really...
228
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,310
Vish hasn't proposed, has he?
229
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,910
Erm, I mean, I know, mad.
230
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:21,430
But if he has, or is fine
reception and erm, let me know.
231
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,230
Er, though how would you
let me know if he hasn't?
232
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:29,110
Otherwise, I hope it's fun and that
there are loads of pheasants and shit
233
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,150
and I'll have everything you don't use,
234
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,510
especially, like mini body lotions
or mini conditioners or anything.
235
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,920
Erm, OK, yeah, miss you,
miss you. Love you. Bye.
236
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,230
Come on, come on.
237
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:42,990
Oh, ah!
238
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,240
- Hello. - Hello. - Hey.
239
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,310
Hello. Hi.
240
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,470
I added someone new to the break-up squad.
241
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,830
- Matty.
- Oh, hi, I'm Aine. Hiya.
242
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,470
Hi, Pops. How you feeling, Bradley?
243
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:56,830
Like death.
244
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,950
Oh, well, that's, you know, at least
no worse than this morning, then.
245
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,110
How's your day with your
big brother been, Poppy?
246
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,630
Fan-fucking-tastic.
247
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,390
He took me to the park to feed the ducks,
248
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,870
then he pushed me on the
swings till I got tired.
249
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,430
Yeah.
250
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,390
Do you wanna watch some
boring football with us?
251
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:17,950
No, I'm just gonna read or
chill or something. But, enjoy.
252
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,110
Ref.
253
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,030
- Hey, Irish pal.
- Hiya.
254
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,870
Hang out with us. Bradley's eating
his feelings so we got pizza.
255
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,950
Oh, no, you're all right, thanks.
256
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,870
I'm just a bit grumpy. I've
got the old period, so...
257
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,390
Girl, you must be Justin
Timberlake cos we is NSYNC, OK?
258
00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:40,930
Oh, really?
259
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,630
Yeah, I've been bleeding all
over the couch all evening.
260
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,510
Oh, wow, OK, then.
261
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:48,910
Aine, I've got one of Emma's
hot water bottles, come on out.
262
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,150
Come on, let's go. Don't make me
tickle you. I'll do it, you know?
263
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,590
It was a pretty intense
five weeks, you know.
264
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,230
Yeah, but I'm hoping we can make
it work, I'm crazy about her.
265
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,470
- Mm.
- Uh-uh!
266
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:02,990
Er, no way, she was a little witch.
267
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,910
- Don't. Honestly, yeah?
- What?
268
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,240
Aine, what did you think of Emma?
269
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,710
- Erm,... - See? - Whoa,
what, you didn't like her?
270
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:15,950
Er,... no. No, like, she
had, er, nice... legs.
271
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:16,910
Legs?
272
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,440
- OK, OK, this is my
impression of Emma. - Please.
273
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:25,150
Oh, Bradley, will you pay for this for me?
274
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,670
I don't have any money,
but I've got breasts.
275
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,430
Honestly, don't, yeah? Or I'll
punch you in your dark womb.
276
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:33,230
I thought it was a very nuance
performance. Five stars from me.
277
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,790
Thanks. Do yours.
278
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,510
- Oh, do my impression of Emma?
- Mm.
279
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,920
Erm, OK, so...
280
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,270
- Oh, my God. - Ahhh! Oooh! - Oh, God.
281
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:47,750
Ooh, ahh, eee, eee! Oooh!
282
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,070
My little sister's here, man!
283
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,030
Waaa! To be fair, it never
sounded like she was faking it.
284
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,670
Can't believe you heard us have sex,
that's embarrassing, but thank you.
285
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,350
It sounded a bit like you'd heard
there was free money in her vagina
286
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,000
and you were trying to dig it out.
287
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,470
Fine. Proves I'm a feminist, doesn't it?
288
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,390
So if you don't mind, ladies, be
quiet, the football's back on.
289
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:07,440
Aww.
290
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,950
Brother, dear, why have
you got an Afro comb
291
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,030
when your hairline is
running away from your face?
292
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,590
Well, at least I grow my own
hair and that's not mine.
293
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,480
Oh, that's mine.
294
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:25,310
- You've got an Afro comb?
- No, I don... I just call it my lovely comb.
295
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,880
Aine has an Afro comb.
296
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,710
Do something about these ringlets.
297
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,860
You know, I grew up in a
house with only women,
298
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,470
so I actually quite like hearing
women talk during football.
299
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,350
- Aww, that's so cute.
- Aww!
300
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:40,590
Aww, that is cute,
301
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:45,190
but I don't feel that way, so if
you don't mind shutting up, yeah?
302
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,230
Cos the football's on, is it?
303
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,630
Oh, my God, pass the ball, pass the ball.
304
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,670
- Out of all...
- Yes!
305
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,160
♪ Football's coming home... ♪
306
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,070
- Oh, Bradley, you know you're a queen.
- Aww. - You're an absolute queen.
307
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:07,150
And you deserve someone
who sees your magic.
308
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,870
I'm so thankful for that,
309
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,230
cos I'm just a single girl on
the town with my four friends.
310
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:12,400
Four? Three of us.
311
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,270
Guys, can I be a saddo and
take a selfie? Is that sad?
312
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,030
- Yep. - Cos my sister thinks I
don't have any friends in London.
313
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,550
- Oh, we're your friends.
- You're my friends.
314
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,400
- I've got such a big head.
- Look like we like each other. - OK.
315
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:27,870
That's nice, that.
316
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,150
Is it nice? Yep.
317
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,390
Oh, my God, I do have such a big head.
318
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,950
We're your brothers now. I
would kill for you, Aine.
319
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,640
- Would you kill for me, Brad?
- I'd barely commit minor fraud for you.
320
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:45,350
♪ I don't see no red
lights Just a wild ride
321
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:49,790
♪ You're my getaway
You're my getaway tonight
322
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:50,910
♪ I'm gonna be all right
323
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,720
♪ You're my getaway
You're my getaway tonight
324
00:15:56,520 --> 00:16:00,800
♪ You're my getaway You're
my getaway tonight... ♪
325
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:06,720
Oh, my God!
326
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,720
Tom!
327
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,310
Waaa!
328
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,510
What are you doing here?
329
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:15,910
Hiya!
330
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,590
Oh!
331
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,430
Oh, my God, look, this is my friend, Tom.
332
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,590
Hey, how you doing?
333
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,510
Love you, love this girl!
334
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:26,960
Put me down, Tom. Put me down.
335
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:29,950
Are you drunk?
336
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,150
Shh, don't tell me mum.
337
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,070
Oh, why? How are you drunk, Tom?
338
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:39,070
Oh, shut up and dance. Enjoy
yourself, come on! Let's go!
339
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,350
Whoa, whoa.
340
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,310
- Stop it, Tom. - I think you've
had enough mate, you all right?
341
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,550
I'm sorry, he's just a bit drunk.
342
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,670
Actually, Brad, could
you hold that for me?
343
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,430
- Come on.
- What's the matter with him?
344
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,550
No, he's fine. Let's just go out.
345
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,870
- I'm just trying to be nice.
- Yeah, yeah, come on, Tommy, come on.
346
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,270
- What's the matter with him?
- We'll just have a little chat.
347
00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:00,120
- Just trying to be nice.
- I know, I know, I know, I know, yeah.
348
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,390
- Oh, Tom. Tom, come on.
- No, it's all right, babe, I'm all right.
349
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:10,630
Tom. I'm so sad that
you're drinking again.
350
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,910
- You're so sad I'M drinking?
- Yeah.
351
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,710
Poor fucking Aine is sad!
352
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,790
Are you, are you joking?
Like you're much better?
353
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,230
Tom.
354
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:24,230
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I shouted.
355
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,750
Tom.
356
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,510
- I'm sorry I shouted.
- I know.
357
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,470
- I'm a good man.
- I know you're a good man.
358
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,750
Perhaps we should finish
off what we started?
359
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,350
No, no, no, Tom.
360
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,910
No, Tom, you're not...
361
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,830
No, Tom, we're friends. We're
better off. You were right.
362
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,990
- No, Tom, don't.
- You have got a lovely chest.
363
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,550
- No, Tom. Tom, don't. - Come
on. - Oi, Aine, you all right?
364
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,310
- What the fuck's wrong with you?
- Oi! - Back off, man! Back off, man.
365
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,870
- Watch it, man!
- You don't touch a woman!
366
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,310
Aine! We love each other, don't...
367
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:58,670
- What are you doing, Matty? Jesus!
- No, he tripped, he tripped.
368
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,510
He's a drunken creep.
369
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,750
He's not a drunken creep. He's not well.
370
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,510
She's fucking madder than
me! Tell 'em where we met.
371
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,670
- Tom! - Tell 'em!
- What you saying that for?
372
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,910
I shouldn't have had
that coke. Fucking Dave!
373
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,040
Get in that taxi, Tom!
374
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,310
I can't.
375
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,870
- I can't.
- What an idiot.
376
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:24,110
- Erm... - Aine... - No,
no, I'm grand actually.
377
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,590
Erm, I'm actually gonna take
that taxi and go to my sister's.
378
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,990
- No, you don't need to do that.
- It's all a bit much.
379
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,910
- We're your brothers!
- Yeah, I totally know.
380
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,790
You're upset, you
shouldn't be by yourself.
381
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:38,640
I am so sorry I was shouting at you,
Matty. I ruined... I'm sorry. Sorry.
382
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,000
I'm totally fine. I'm sorry.
383
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,390
- There's blood all
over my sheets. - Oh!
384
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,390
- Should've put a towel down.
- What, like a German tourist?
385
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,880
You should erm,...
386
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,560
Oh, yeah, I have to get
to work. Yeah, of course.
387
00:19:37,580 --> 00:19:38,220
Waah!
388
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,760
- Hey.
- Hi, yeah. How are you?
389
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:11,790
Tea or...?
390
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,870
Erm, yeah, thank you. Oh, actually,
erm,... could I get a coffee?
391
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,000
- Sure.
- Thanks.
392
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:30,190
Listen, I'm, erm,... I'm
sorry about yesterday.
393
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:33,670
Oh, no, that's totally fine. I'm
sorry if I overstepped the mark.
394
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,830
- Honestly, we don't need to
talk about it. - I'd like to.
395
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,230
- Where, where, er, where is Etienne?
- Someone's dropping him home.
396
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,070
He had a sleepover with a friend
last night, which is great.
397
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:46,110
Oh, wow, really? A friend?
God, that's amazing.
398
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,150
Yeah.
399
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,880
I think sometimes it must
be so lonely for him.
400
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,590
You OK?
401
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:58,390
Yeah, yeah, sorry. Yeah.
402
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:03,560
I'm er, just really happy to think
of him not being on his own, you know?
403
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:12,310
I erm, had a friend last night who er,...
404
00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:14,360
He's not very well.
405
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,640
It's quite sad, cos, you know, erm...
406
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,710
He can't get the drink
out of him, you know?
407
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,950
- Ah.
- Mm-hm.
408
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,990
Yeah.
409
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,470
Drink is hard to fix, yeah.
410
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:30,550
Yeah.
411
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,390
Because it is so, so lovely.
412
00:21:32,940 --> 00:21:35,360
Yeah, it is so, so lovely.
413
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:40,800
It's just such a shame, you know,
because he's... he's so loved.
414
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,840
And it's just awful to
see, like, the erm,...
415
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,760
.. the bits that make someone
great, sort of fall away, you know?
416
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,070
There's that quote, "I
tried to drown my sorrows,
417
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:56,350
but then the bastards
learned how to swim."
418
00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:57,910
Nice.
419
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,070
Mm. It's a Frida Kahlo quote.
420
00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:03,320
She's my favourite author because
her books are mostly pictures.
421
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,630
Yeah, we could add that to your book.
422
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,920
- Oh, yeah, my joke book, yeah.
- Mm.
423
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,000
Whoa.
424
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,710
One tiny awkward move for mankind,
425
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,600
one giant step for "Richardkind".
426
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:37,350
Oh.
427
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,990
Etienne, come here and give your paid
professional tutor a hug, will you?
428
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,030
- Aine?
- Yeah?
429
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,990
- Pow. - Oh, my God, you
shot me, I wasn't even armed.
430
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,870
Come here, you monkey.
431
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,990
How are you? Oh, hey, shoot your dad.
432
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:51,870
Eh, Papa, Richard.
433
00:22:52,420 --> 00:22:53,790
Pow,... Ahh.
434
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,750
Sorry, erm,... Ahh.
435
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:02,270
Etienne, you didn't tell me your dad
was a professional Hollywood actor.
436
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:03,910
Er, yes.
33800
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.