All language subtitles for The.Missionary.1982.720p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG..

(CHILDREN CHATTERING AND RUNNING)

(INSECTS CHIRRUPING)

(LION ROARING)

(SINGING AND DRUMMING)

(SPEAKING LOCAL LANGUAGE)

Ah, Daniel. How are you?

I like it. Yeah.

(STRAUSS' �THE BLUE DANUBE�
ON GRAMOPHONE)

(CHARLES SINGING
�THE BLUE DANUBE�)

CHARLES'. Now, here's an easier one.
What date was the Magna Carta signed?

Not all at once.

Jonathan, can you remember
anything about the Middle Ages?

? From Greenland's �cy mountains

? From India's coral strand

(CONTINUES SINGING HYMN WORDLESSLY)

(SHIP'S HORN)

NARRATOR'.
In the spring of 1906,

after ten years of selfless service

in some of the most
inhospitable corners

of Br�ta�n's far-flung Empire,

Charles Fortescue, the m�ssionary,

returned to England a hero.

(SEAGULLS CRYING)

- So sorry.
- Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Oh, please don't worry.
I'm not hurt at all.

I'm just taken
by surprise, that's all.

They're rather difficult to handle.

Especially in this weather.

- Yes, this doesn't help.
- What are they?

They're fertility objects.
African, mainly.

They're beautiful.

Yes, well, sexual potency
is frightfully important out there.

Well...

welcome home, Mr Fortescue.

(CLATTERING)

Hurry, hurry!

Hurry! Come on!

Stop pulling the reins!
Ah, damn you!

How is Deborah?

Oh, just like a little child.

You know, terribly excited.

She was a child when I left.

Oh, yes.
Well, she's a fine woman now.

By God's grace,
the 'maga of her mother.

Oh yes, I was very sorry to hear
about Mrs Fitzbanks.

Well, the Lord giveth,
and the Lord taketh away.

She loved ice skating,
I remember.

Such a shame
she never learned to swim.

Come on! Get moving!

FWZBANKS'.
Parswell! Whoa, Parswell!

Whoa! Parswell!
Whoa! Parswell!

Steady, Parswell.

PARSWELL:
Sorry, sir.

Surely this can't be old Major?

Yes, old Major.

He still remembers me.

Always the same, Parswell.

- This relentless quest for speed.
- Come on, boy.

- What are these, anyway?
- Fertility symbols, sir.

They know I'm
getting married, you see.

Better not show them to Deborah.

Take them up the back stairs.
all right?

AII right, sir.

Leave you to say hello.

Ah, thank yo...

- I'll give you a hand...
- Deborah?

Deborah? I'm back.

Deborah...

you look absolutely marvellous.

I'm Emily, the maid, sir.

Oh.

Sorry.

I'II help bring your things in, sir.

Er... yes, if you would, please.
They're, um...

they're outside.

DEBORAH'.
Hello, Charles!

Deborah?

Well, how are you?

Oh, ever so well.
And how are you?

Oh, not so bad.
26 days at sea.

Feel a bit like an unpacked bag.

Oh. well, I can get you one
if you want.

Oh, no, no. Ifeel as if I am one.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

- Charles.
- Yes?

- There's some lunch.
- Ah.

It's been such a long time.

Yes, well, Ijust didn't know
when you'd be arriving.

No, no.
Since we last saw each other.

Oh!
(LAUGHING)

Ten years.

Ten years, four months,
18 days, and 25 minutes.

- It's cold.
- What?

- Lunch.
- Oh, that'll be fine.

It's just so nice to be back.

DEBORAH'.
I do hope you're hungry.

CHARLES'. Rather. I've haven't eaten
since the Bay of Biscay.

Oculi omnium in te spectant Domine

et tu das �Ilis escam in tempore.

Aperis tu manum tuam,

et imples omne animalia
benedictione tuam.

Gloria Patri, et Filio,
et Spiritui sancto.

Sicut erat in principio,

et nunc, et semper,
et in saeculo saecularum.

Benedictus, benedicat per
Jesum Christum Dominum Nostrum.

Tuck in, Charles!
You must be starving.

I kept all your Ietters.

I kept all yours.

Yes. They're upstairs
in numbered boxes.

Oh, Deborah.

The first eight boxes
are general subjects.

Yes...

They're divided into
separate subsections.

Oh, yes?

There're six for
particular subjects:

birthday, Easter, Christmas,
all that sort of thing.

Ah, yes.

So I find July the 8th, 1899,

see Elephants,
Box 5, Section 3.

- How busy you must have been.
- Oh, I enjoy it. I love filing.

And where did you keep the letter

in which I asked you to marry me?

Box 3, Section 11.

Ah.

I hope I didn't
sound too forward.

No, no, not at all.

I mean, I did think of you
an avvful lot.

Well, I know, otherwise you wouldn't
have written me all those Ietters.

Of course, right.

Six hundred and sixty-three.

I used to sit out at night,
under the vast bowl of the stars,

And 143 postcards.

But I felt terribly alone.

They wouldn't all fit
into my room,

so I had to put 18-B
to 22-8 in the study,

and then all the odd numbers,
15 to 23,

in Daddy's bedroom,

and when I've re-indexed
Boxes 21 to 40,

I'II have a 15-year,
two-stage cross-reference...

(HUMMING A TUNE)

(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)

LADY AMES'.
What are they?

CHARLES'. They're fertility objects.
African, mainly.

LADY AMES'.
They're beautiful.

Well, welcome home, Mr Fortescue.

This is marvellous!

Like seeing it all
for the first time!

I had an old bone-shaker
out in Africa, you know.

Yes, you said in Ietters
18, 36, and 49.

- Did I really?
- Mmm.

I used to ride around
the province on it.

The Iocals had never seen
a bicycle before.

They used to call me
�the man on the starving horse�.

How silly.

(BARREL ORGAN PLAYING)

You really should have
come out to Africa, you know.

No, I can't stand being dirty.

I'm going to be a jolly,
happy English vicar's wife,

and have a big house
with lots of children.

That's all I want.

Well, we'll have to see what
I'm offered in London.

The Bishop may want me to be
a prison chaplain or something.

Oh, Charles!

I can't wait to be married!

NARRATOR: Fortescue didn't have
to wait long to meet the Bishop.

An urgent note requested
his presence in London,

less than a week
after his arriva! home.

Excuse me.

The Church and University Club,
I'm looking for.

Straight across the road, sir.

Ah. Thank yo...

Thanks.

Driver.

Excuse me.
The Bishop of London?

Down the end, sir.

Ah, thank yo...

(COUGHING)

(CHATTERING)

(METAL CLASHING)

That's it.
Keep your guard up.

Fortescue!

Come on down.

Oh, come on, now.
It isn't a dance!

Keep your guard up.

Oh, come on, Liggett!
You can do better than that.

Ah, good. I'm sorry
to drag you down here,

but it's my young men's night,
and I couldn't miss it.

- Do you like a scrap?
- I'm sorry?

I love to see
a pair of fit boys scrapping.

Hockey.

- hockey?
- Do you play hockey?

No, my Lord.
I'm afraid I don't.

Oh, too bad. I promised
I'd get a team together

to play the Methodists
on Saturday week.

Now, they're very good,
but physical. Yes.

Drink?

- Well, a cup of tea would be very nice.
- Yes, tea it shall be. Wise man.

-(RINGS BELL)
- Hilda!

Two of your finest.

Yes, well, how was Africa?

Quite remarkable, sir.
Quite remarkable.

Much time for sport?

Sport? No, not a lot.

I was out there for a while, you know.

Wonderful country.
I tried to teach them

the rudiments of rugby football.

But it wasn't really
their sort of thing.

They hang onto the ball
for too long.

Weeks, sometimes.

Liggett! Liggett!
Keep your eye on him!

Tighten them up, Bunyan.
Keep them firm.

That's it.

Yes, he doesn't like rules,
your African.

We had a chap called Sperry
in Tabaka province.

Keen cricketer.
County standard.

He tried to explain the no-ball rule

to a very primitive side
from Mashonaland.

Well, I mean, they cut his
head off in the tea interval.

Stuck it on the pavilion.

The worst thing was
he'd built that pavilion himself.

Still, just shows you can't force
the pace of progress.

- Well, Cheers.
- Cheers.

Now, let me get straight
to the reason

why I brought you back,
um, erm... Fortescue.

Um...

How are you with women?

I beg your pardon, sir?

I know you're good with Africans,

but how are you with... with...
with... with... with women?

I'm sorry, sir. I'm not
quite sure what you mean.

Well, we've got a problem,
Fortescue.

An increasing problem.

- Women?
- Certain kinds of women, yes.

Certain kinds?

Ladies of the street.

Filles de joie.

Daughters of the night.

They're a big problem
for the Church.

No, no.
We're strong on drunkenness,

we've had a fair crack
at homelessness,

but, as far as prostitution goes,

we're not even out
of the changing room.

What do you want me to do,
my Lord?

Go amongst prostitutes, Fortescue.

Go to the filthiest
streets of London,

into the back alleys,
and behind the workhouses.

Seek out the harlots
and the streetwalkers.

Get to know them.
Get to understand them.

Win their confidence.

Find out why they do what they do,

and stop them doing it.

We badly need this missi�n,
Fortescue.

Your Methodist,
your Salvationist,

even your Catholic
is showing us the way home.

We're starting a lap behind,

but we can still get our nose
ahead of the bell.

What do you say?

Well, I don't know what to say, sir.

I didn't quite expect this.

No, no, I realise it's a difficult one
to bowl at you

right out of the blue like that.

AII Iwould ask is...

that you come dancing
with me tonight.

? Put on your ta-ta, little girlie

? Do do what I want you to

S Far from the busy hu?y bum

? I've got lots to say to you... ?

BISHOP:
Look at them.

You know, some of them...

some of them are only in their
13th and 14th year.

How old are you, my dear?

��wenty-three.
i�wenty-three'.!

You don't have to
do this work, you know.

- Go away.
- Come on, gents, one at a time.

I am a bishop.

Sorry, sir. No reductions.

I can help you find
other work, my dear.

- Come on.
- Please, please.

Come back with us,
we'll find you food, and clothing...

Harry, trouble!

You won't have to come back
to all this degradation.

Take your hands off me!
I'm a member of the Church!

SINGER:
? Your pretty little ta-ta

? And come out to ta-ta with... ?

(WORDLESSLY SINGING
�ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL�)

DRIVER:
Out the road!

Charles?

- Charles!
- PARSWELL: Miss Deborah?

Charles?

(DOG GROWLING)

We've been so worried about you.
Are you all right?

Yes, I'm absolutely fine.

Oh, thank goodness for that.

I had some dreadful visi�n

of you getting into
all sorts of trouble.

What's happened to your head?

Oh! Oh, that's nothing.
I, er...

I banged it. On the door.
Of the train.

How was the concert?

Well, everyone was asking after yo...

They're all terribly excited
about the wedding.

- Wedding?
- Our wedding.

Oh, yes. Yes.

Well, don't be so mysterious.
Do tell.

Is it an important job?

Yes. Yes, it is an
importantjob, Deborah.

It's not exactly
what I was expecting,

but, by God, it needs to be done,

and I shall do it
the best I possibly can.

- Something hot, sir?
- What?

Kept some kedgeree for you, sir.

Oh, thank you, Emily.
Thank yo...

What is it?

I'm going
to remain a missionary.

- But I thought...
- A missionary in England.

Everyone's English in England.

But they're no less needful
of our help.

Deborah, I saw scenes last night
which will never leave my memory.

In the heart of our capital city,

in the centre of our Empire,

there are people who have
no homes but the street.

You mean tramps?

Tramps, yes, and others.

Are you going to be
looking after tramps?

No, I shall be
looking after women.

Women tramps?

No, women who
are in moral trouble.

Liars?

Deborah.

Not yet, Charles.

Sorry.

Do sit down, Deborah.
I want to talk this over with you,

so we both know exactly
what we're doing.

(COUGHING)

The missi�n is going to take up

a very large part
of my life from now on.

I promised the Bishop
I'd not only run it,

but I'd find the money to run it.

- Milk?
- Please.

This will take me away from you,

and it'll take time.

So that's why I want you
to be absolutely clear

about what it is I'm taking on.

- Sugar?
- One, please.

Deborah, do you know what
is meant by �fallen women�?

Women who have hurt their knees?

No, no, no, no.
Much worse than that.

Broken their Iegs?

NARRATOR: Only slightly deterred
by Deborah 's evident inability

to fully comprehend
the nature of his work,

Fortescue threw himself
into the task of fund-ra�sing

with characteristic vigour.

Mind the Carpet, sir.

My husband won't have
anything mended, you know.

Well, I should imagine
the costs must be very high.

Well, yes, but he doesn't like
to be parted from them.

Well... eminently reasonable.

- Cedric, dear, someone to see you.
- Oh?

This is Mr Fortescue,
the missionary.

You remember, we read all about him
in the newspapers.

Oh.

He wants us to help him
in his new work, dear.

Isn't that splendid?

How do you do, sir?

- I'm so pleased to meet you.
- Oh! Don't...

Don't shake his hand.

It's a terrible palaver.

It's a most beautiful house.

He won't hear that,
I'm afraid.

- It's a most beautiful house!
- Hmm?

No. He doesn't hear
anything on that side.

I was just saying, sir,

what a most beautiful
house you have here.

Hello.

LADY FRAMLEIGH: There.
You've got him, but it's still a little close.

It's all to do
with pitch and vibration.

Having spent, er...
ten years in Africa,

I realise that, in all that time,

I'd been neglecting the needs
of our own people here at home.

Er... it's all very well
sending out missions

to Indochina,
the Gambia, Somaliland...

when the real problems are here,
under our very noses.

This is the country
that needs our help.

AII our best people go
to Africa and to the colonies,

but what do they leave behind them,
here, on our doorstep?

A moral void.

In the heart of our great cities,

in the back streets and
behind the workhouses,

and among the slum tenements,

you will find young women,

some of them no more than
13 and 14 years old,

who wander the streets, homeless,

the prey of exploiters and criminals.

They know no pride,
they know no shame,

as they smk deeper
and deeper 'mio the abyss.

I've seen them.
I've talked to them.

I've heard their cries for help,

and if we ignore those cries...

if we refuse to help,
if we refuse to fight,

if we pass by on the other side,

-then He will call us to account.
-(BELL RINGING)

He will want to know why it is,
we Iet our own people wallow

in the mire and filth of evil,

why we saw so clearly
the mote in others' eyes,

but not the beam in our own.

Unless we can take up
the battle to save

and enlighten
these wretched souls now,

then the darkness of ignorance
we see so clearly in others

will engulf us all.

We'll be sucked into
the quicksands of apathy,

leaving the profiteers
and the procurers

to ply their cruel trade.

I believe most strongly
that we cannot and must not

seek the easy way out.

To ignore what is going on,

to pretend nothing is happening.

We can begin the moral revival.

We can begin to save the souls
of those British fallen women

who have fallen into sin,

whdve been dragged down
through no mu�,

other than their own
ignorance and innocence.

But we must act now, and that
is why I've come along here today,

because I believe that it is
with the help of people like you

that we can start
a new and vigorous...

- Mr Fortescue?
-...tide of hope and optimism.

- Mr Fortescue?
- With the help of people like you,

-we can breach the barriers of ignorance.
- Mr Fortescue!

And smash the barriers of...
Yes?

I'm avvfully sorry,
but my husband has died.

- Died?
- Yes.

You know, his heart has ceased to...

Yes, yes, I...

Oh, dear.

I'm terribly sorry
because he would've loved

to have heard
what you were saying.

Oh, no, no, I'm the one
who should be sorry.

I do apologise.

Oh, don't worry, Mr Fortescue.

These things happen,

and he has had
a jolly good innings.

I'm... I'm most frightfully sorry.
I shall be going.

Oh, no, it's I who should be sorry.

It was really a breach of...
of manners.

Because he's very forgetful,

and he probably forgot you were there.

CHARLES'.
Well, I think when one's dying,

one does tend to become forgetful.

LADY FRAMLEKBH'.
He's never done �t before.

Take your coat, sir?

Oh, yes.
Thank you, Emily.

DEBORAH'.
Charles!

What is it?

Come up here.
I've got a surprise for yo...

I'm in my bedroom.

? Dear Lord and father of mankind

S Forgive our foolish... S
Door's open.

(DEBORAH CONTINUES HUMMING HYMN)

S Rightful mind... S

Hello.

Look at the shelves.

Incoming, Box A.

Incoming... A.

Who is this Lady Ames?

Lord Ames' wife.

Who's he?

Oh Charles, where have you been
for the last ten years?

Darkest Africa?

Oh.
Well, he's terribly important.

He was General Gordon's
number two.

Why has she written to me
offering me his money?

I mean, I never wrote to her.

Of course you didn't, silly.
I did.

According to the book, he was
the richest man in Britain,

and I think that
it was worth starting there.

Deborah, you are
a very, very clever girl.

I just want to get married,
that's all, Charles.

I suppose I was right

to wear the Hussar's uniform
rather than the Lancer's.

Goes rather better with my eyes.

Shows up every drop of spume, though.

Equine spume plays havoc
with a cavalry uniform.

An over-excited mount can make
the most splendidly attired officer

look as if he's suffering
from appalling diarrhoea.

Who is this fellow?

Nobody I know, hmm?

No. It's someone I know.
I'm Lady Ames.

LORD AMES:
Is he British?

- SIR CYRIL: Your Lordship, please.
- LORD AMES: Oh, sorry. Sorry.

I am so glad you could come.

I find I hate foreigners more and more.

- Do you find that so, Everidge?
- My husband is rather busy at the moment.

- Shall we talk?
- Yes, yes, of course.

So, your fertility symbols
arrived home safely?

Yes. A little bruised,
perhaps, but, er...

Effective nonetheless.

You must find it all very
different here from Africa.

Oh, yes. Much more civilised.

That's the trouble, isn't it?

The trouble?

Being civilised.

Here, there are so many
right ways of doing things,

and so many wrong ways
of doing things.

Well, it's much the same
in Africa, you know.

I'm not talking
about stealing cattle.

I'm talking about things
you're allowed to say and do.

Well, England's very liberal
after Africa, I assure yo...

Oh, do you really think so?

I find it very stifling.

Really? In what way?

Well, I mean...

Well, for instance, I couldn't
just go around saying that...

Hmd you Very attractNe...

could I? Oh, don't...
please don't worry about him.

He's a talker, not a Iistener.

Well, what do you think?

Well, I think it's very very
kind of you to offer...

to donate money
to the missionaries.

No, no. About me.

About you?

Well, I think you're very generous.

Oh, I am.

Tell me about Africa.

Ah, well, it's a long story. Erm...

When I first went out there
in 1895, the whole...

Does the sun shine all the time?

Yes, yes, it does most of the time.

I should like that.

It is very nice,

once you get used to
the flies and the fevers.

The people and the animals,

I mean, where else in the worid
do you wake up in the morning

and find elephants, and rhino,
and hartebeest by the waterside?

Why ever did you leave?

Well, I, er...

I wasn't going to spend
my whole life there.

I mean, I wanted to come back.
I wanted, er...

to try new work.

- I wanted to, er...
- Get married?

Yes, yes, yes.

I mean, Africa's all very well,
but it's, er... it's not...

It's not what?

What I was educated for.

I mean, my roots are here in England,
like yours.

Oh, yes.

My roots.

Well, would you like to discuss
the donation with your husband?

No. No, you're quite right,

it is difficult to discuss it
while he's here.

Ah, no, that's not what I meant.

LORD AMES:
Isabel!

Why don't you come
and see me tomorrow?

I have a bolthole in Chelsea.

I'II give you the address.

LORD AMES:
Isabel!

Henry will be
at the studio all day,

so we can just talk.

What?

Get to know each other.

- Um...
- David?

- LORD AMES: Isabel?
- Yes?

Who are the people
l really hate?

Please come. I'm sure
we could help each other.

- Ah, no, look, Ithink...
- I'll see you tomorrow.

The Swiss?

No, no, no. In this country.

Who do I really hate?

We were talking about them
the other day.

Missionaries.

That's right! Missionaries.

DEBORAH:
Did she offer you anything?

Oh, she sort of hinted that she
might be interested at a later stage.

Oh, that's marvellous.

Very good people
to be in with, Ames.

Well, I said no.

What?

I said no.

You said no? Just like that,
without even thinking about it?

Well, it didn't feel right.

I felt she was doing it
for the wrong reasons.

Wouldn't have thought Ames
as the sort of patron to turn down.

But it's so rude.
What must she think of you?

Well, I'm sure I'II
find the money elsewhere.

That's what you've been saying
for the last six weeks.

Deborah, you must understand...

No. I can't understand.

First you tell me that you're
looking after lady tramps,

and now you tell me
that you've turned down

the first real offer
of money that we've had.

We're never going to
get married. Never! Never!

Deborah, let me...
(CLATTERING)

Let me explain!
Deborah! Deborah!

Deborah...

I've waited ten years
for you, Charles.

You must trust me, Deborah.
There are reasons...

- Oh, what reasons?
- Just reasons.

You're so mysterious
about everything these days.

Well, what do you want me to do?

Go back and see her again.

- I can't. ..
-(LOUD BELCH)

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- Just cleaning, and... cleaning.
-(CLATTERING)

- Charles, please go back and see her.
- PARSWELL: Sorry.

I can't.
I don't know where she'Il be.

- She's at the studio.
- No, no, they're probably finished.

- Then at the house.
- Don't know where it is.

Mortonhampstead.

It's on the Great Western line,
two stops before Chippenham.

There's a 9:38,
a 12:06, and a 2:15.

You don't understand.

Please, Charles.

If you love me,
go back and see her again.

(CREAKING)

(HEAVY KNOCK)

Yes?

Ah! I believe
the Arneses, er... live here.

Yes.

I would like to see
Lady Ames, please,

on a purely business matter.

Of course, sir.
What name shall I say, sir?

Fortescue.

Fortescue, sir.

Come this way, please.

Thank yo...

Follow me, sir.

(NERVOUS COUGH)

No. This can't be right.

I think we should have turned...

left at the billiard room, sir.

This way, please.

No. That's not it.

CHARLES:
It is a very large house.

SLATTERTHWAITE:
Yes, that certainly doesn't help.

Ah, this looks promising.

Ah. If you won't mind, sir,

we'll go round to the front
and start again.

- I'm much better outside.
- This way, isn't it?

SLATTERTHWAITE:
Ah, yes, you're absolutely right.

Sixteenth century,
much of the building.

CHARLES:
Ah. Mmm.

LORD AMES: Are there two Is
in �disembowellment�?

(LADY AMES SIGHING)
I think so.

Are you expecting anyone?

LORD AMES:
No, thank God.

I saw Slatterthwaite
with someone in tow,

-going down to the pond.
-(RINGING BELL)

He really is
the most disastrous butler.

Can't we get rid of him?

Of course we can't.

He's been here 25 years.

I don't know why we ever
got rid of Margerison.

You know perfectly well
why we got rid of Margerison.

Oh, that was only
a bit of harmless fun.

Not for the parents.

Yes, milady?

Oh, would you go and find
Mr Slatterthwaite, please, Millicent?

He was going down to the pond.

Head him off
before he gets to the maze.

Yes, milady.

What are you doing?

Wrmng to The Times.

What about?

Punishment.

�Embedded�.

- Two Ds.
- Thank yo...

(CLOCK CHIMING)

-"Skull�?
- S-K.

The butler, milady.

Well done, Millicent.

Ah. Lady...

- Ames.
- Ames, mm.

A Mr Forester to see you, milady.

Good afternoon, sir.

My name is Fortescue.
I'm a missionary.

I had the great fortune of meeting
you and your wife in London recently.

Never set eyes on yo...

At the studio, sir.
You were kind enough to be

very sympathetic to my work.

Most unlikely.
What sort of work is that?

Amongst
the underprivileged, sir.

- Who?
- The underprivileged.

That's an unfamiliar term to me.

People who have less
than ourselves.

Well, in our case, that includes
practically everyone in the country.

Can you be more specific?

Well, I certainly think we
should hear more about it, don't you?

Leave the ungrateful
buggers alone, I say.

Won't you stay for dinner?

Er, no, no. I promised
I'd be back this evening...

before nightfall.

You've missed the last train.

I was told there was a 4:22.

Oh, no, not on Thursdays.

- Coach?
- First thing in the morning.

Can't Wooler get the motor out?

Well, not in this weather.

Then I'II walk.

Oh, no.

No, really.
It is far too far.

(RINGING BELL)

Can one buy a train?

Where would we keep it?

Look, really, I must get back.

Oh, one more for dinner,
please, Millicent.

Yes, milady.

After all, it's not every day

we have missionaries
in this part of Wiltshire.

LORD AMES:
�Agony�?

A-G-O-N-Y.

LORD AMES: You see, what I think
is wrong with the country today

is that there aren't
enough people chained up.

It's one of his theories.

Ah.

LORD AMES: I think many people,
if they were given the choice

between abject poverty,

and being held,
firmly but fairly,

on a chain of their very own,
would choose the chain.

They could reach their food,
obviously lie down in bed...

You can't chain people up.

LORD AMES: There you go, you see?
Typical liberal reaction.

AII I'm saying is, we should try it.

I'm sorry to have kept
you waiting, my Lord.

I lost my bearings temporarily
in the west wing.

LORD AMES:
I once had a chap before me

who'd been Caught stealing
from the mess.

I ordered every alternate
fingernail to be removed,

and, you know, I still get a
card from him every Christmas.

You can go to bed at any time.

No, no, no.
Please, I'm fine.

I don't want to put you
to any trouble.

Trouble?

Well, the trouble
of getting a room ready.

Oh, no, there are 400 rooms ready.

Aren't there, Slatterthwaite?

At all times, milady.

- Oh! You must go up and change.
- I'm sorry.

- No, no, no.
- Oh, no, please, please.

- You must get out of these wet clothes.
- No, no, no, no.

You can't eat like that.
You're all sticky.

I... I don't think I'II eat after all.
I'm not hungry anymore.

Well, you must have something.

No, no, Ithink
I'II go straight to bed.

I suddenly feel terribly tired.

There, that is a good idea.
I'II bring you a tray.

No, no.
I mean, er... no, thank yo...

Millicent, the Chinese room.

Has he been in Africa
for a long time?

- Ten years.
- Yes. Thought so.

MILLICENT:
Here's your room, sir.

There's a spare nightshirt
for you, sir, on the bed.

I hope you'll have
everything you want, sir.

Thank yo...

Oh, the looks
don't work anymore, sir.

- The mistress had them taken off.
- Ah. Hmm.

Hmm.

(DOOR OPENING)

(DOOR CLOSING)

(DOOR OPENING)

(DOOR CLOSING)

(DISCREET COUGH)

(own. HOOTING)

Yes?

LADY AMES'.
May I come in?

What for?

Well, we never did discuss
how much you wanted.

For the missi�n.

Rather late now, isn't it?

But l may not see you
in the morning.

You see, I...
I never get up frightfully early.

Yes, well, come in. I'II...
I'II get my...

Come in! Ah! The chair seems
to have fallen against the door.

Er... I've got the papers,

but I don't have the exact
figures. I wasn't exp...

You look rather good
in Henry's nightshirt.

Um... well, I'm very honoured
to be wearing it.

You know, I've often wondered
what sort of things Henry wore in bed.

Oh, you don't, en}?

God, no. That was never
part of the arrangement.

No, he only touches me
by accident occasionally,

in the motor when
we turn a corner too fast.

Oh. I'm sorry.

There are others.

Does that shock you?

It shouldn't. Not if you're to be
of any help to fallen women.

Ah! Talking of which,

I think the first thing
to clear up, er...

would be the purchase
of a possible mortgage.

How much do you want?

Well, I think we should discuss it,
don't you?

No.

No?

Why Dretend?

Pretend?

I know why you came here today.

Look, I think if we confine ourselves
to financial matters,

-it would be better for both of us.
- But don't you find me attractive?

No, it's not that at all.

Why did you follow me
in the street the other day?

- Follow you?
- In London.

- I wasn't following you.
- Why did you attack me on the boat?

- That was an accident.
- Why did you get your fianc�e to write?

Pure coincidence.

Are you in love with her?

We've been in love for eleven years.

- You've been away ten.
- Yes, but I wrote.

- You wrote?
- Yes, Iwrote. Er... Ietters.

Oh, does she excite you?

And postcards.

May I? Thank yo...

But if you're going to marry her,

she should excite you
deeply, passionately.

Well, she's not that sort of girl.
She has other qualities.

- Oh, such as?
- She's a very good organiser.

- That's not enough, is it?
- It's a start.

But you want more, don't you?
That's why you came here.

I want help
to start the missi�n.

Well, I can give you help.

Yes, 'mm can't do
anythmg for yo...

But if you do,
I can give you everything.

Inthatcase,lshaH
have to regretfully say no.

(SUDDEN NOISE)

-(FOOTSTEPS)
- Who's that?

Oh my God.
Get into bed. Quickly.

- What are you going to do?
- I'm going to get in too. Move over.

- What?
- Ssh! Be asleep.

Oh, dear God.

(DOOR OPENING)

(DOOR CLOSING)

(SIGHING)

Oh.

(EXHALING HEAVILY)

(DOOR OPENING)

(DOOR CLOSING)

Lady Ames, he's gone.

Lady Ames, he's...

Oh, dear.

NARRATOR: So, with
an act of typical dedication,

Fortescue finally ensured

that the Missi�n to Fallen Women
became a reality.

From now on, he was to dedicate
his evangelical energies

into a new
and unfamiliar worid,

the Violent streets
of London's Dockland.

CHARLES'.
�Dear Deborah,

�thank you for your letter of the 18th,

�reference D-F 471/106-B.

�Yes, you were right to send me
back to the Arneses,

�and, as you rightly say,

�Lady Ames is a very generous person.

�I've spent a week clearing up
the missi�n house,

�and now I'm going to look
for our first fallen woman�.

�Lady . . . tramp.

�I hope all goes well with
the wedding preparations.

�I remain your dearest fianc�, Charles�.

That's very good.

(CHILDREN PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

(GULLS CRYING)

(SHIP'S HORN)

(BARREL ORGAN PLAYING)

SALVATION ARMY CHOIR:
? ...marching as to war

? With the cross of Jes�s

? Going on before

? Christ, the royal Master

? Leads against the foe

A� Fomard 'mio ba��e... a�

- ADA: Go on, out you go.
- I've got another 20 minutes!

What would you do with
another 20 minutes? Go on!

I've just thought of something.

Go on!

I've always wanted to try it.

A right little tearaway you are,
aren't you, darling?

Now bugger off. Go on.

Bloody women.

Blimey!

(DISCREET COUGH)

May I speak to you, please?

Yeah, all right.

Come on.

(BOTTLE SMASHING)

PROSTYYUTE'. Get out of here
and shut that door!

I ain't got time to waste
with that pissing around.

You get what you pay for,
and you paid for fuck all!

Now sod off!

Here we are.
A bit of a climb.

Hope it's worth it.

Hello, Tiddles.

No, no. I really do
just want to talk.

Well, I'II have to charge you, dear.

Oh, that's all right.
I have money.

Well, we'll have a nice little chat,

and if you want something later,
I'II include it all in the price.

It's five shillings for an hour.

(DISCREET COUGH)

Thank yo...

lfsfunny.
l like the clergy.

I've never once been roughed up or
cheated by a man of the cloth.

I wasn't much of a churchgoer
when I was young,

but since I've been obliging vicars,

I've gained
a lot of respect for 'em.

Now then, Reverend,
what's your problem?

Oh, I... I have no problem.

I'm here as a representative
of the Bishop of London

and the Church
Missionary Society.

Er... we're opening a missi�n
up the road in order that, er...

�Mortal sinners like ourselves
can be turned away

�from the wicked paths
of promiscuity�.

- Well...
- Listen, Reverend.

I've been working
this patch 19 years.

I know all the sins I'm committing,

which is more than can be said
for some of your lot,

who come round here trying to
save us every three weeks.

�Love one another�.

- That's what He says, isn't it?
- Yes.

Yeah. So 'that's whaH do.

Oh, you'll get the odd one
with a funny idea or two,

but most of my boys
just want company.

- Tiddles!
-(MIAOWING)

A bit of company,
a bit of cheering up.

I'm like a mother to 'em.

Only they can't fuck their mother,
so they come 'ere.

Excusethelanguage,
but that's how they talk around here.

Take it or leave it.

Look, I don't disapprove of yo...

Ha! Of course you don't.

You just disapprove
of what we do.

What we indulge in.

That's the trouble with
your lot, you hate sex.

You never have it,
so you hate it.

No, that's not true.

Of course it is.

Soon as you come in here,
you says,

�I'm not here for sexual reasons,�

as if there's something wrong
with anyone who is.

No, no, I don't think that way.

AII right, then.

If I was to say to you,

�You're a nice-looking fella.
How about a quick one?�

what would you say?

Well, I'd think about it.

Well, then...

You're a nice-looking fella.

How about a quick one?

(TIDDLES YOWLING)

CHARLES: That's right,
and a blanket for each mattress...

NARRATOR'.
Word of Fortescue's unique blend

of moral Ieadership
and personal availability

spread like wildfire through
the back streets of East London.

Within three weeks of opening,

the missi�n house
was filled to capacity.

But, as the day of
his wedding approached,

Fortescue was finding the work
increasingly demanding.

(KNOCKING)

(KNOCKING)

Come in.

Who is it?

- Emmeline, sir.
- Oh, yes.

You know you said about
coming to see you with problems?

Well, I meant in the morning, really.

Well, I can't sleep
because of this problem.

What is it?

Well, I keep thinking about yo...

Thinking about me?

Well, I shouldn't waste
your time doing that.

You're not like anyone
I've ever met.

It's just that most of the people
I've been to bed with

didn't care who I was, you know?

Yes, yes, I do know.
And I wish that more giris like you

would realise that, and not try and
glamourise what they do.

Yes, I agree with you, sir, really.

I mean, I'd just love to go to bed

with someone who was
kind and considerate and gentle.

Just once, you know?

Well, I'm glad you feel that way,

because that's what
our missi�n's all about.

Oh, good!

What are you doing?

There's so many preachers around
telling you what to do.

�Give up this, give up that�.

None of them ever show you
a better way, you know.

It's warm.

Er... Emmeline, let me explain.

You mustn't confuse the sexual act

with moral and spiritual values.

What does that mean?

Well, it means that physical sex
is not necessarily that important.

That's just what I always said.

Do it and enjoy it.

It's not the end of the worid.

Er, no, no. You haven't quite
grasped what I mean.

St Paul says something
rather interesting here...

Emmeline, you cow!

CHARLES:
Who's that?

- It's Louise, sir.
- And Agnes.

Ah, hello, Louise, Agnes.

I was, er... just telling Emmeline
how relatively unimportant sex is.

(BOTH)
Oh, good!

(GIGGLING)

Mr and Mrs Campion...
two, row 4...

26th of the 6th, '06.

Mr and Mrs Napier
and Amanda...

three, seventh row...

B-14, bride's side
23rd of the 6th, '06.

Absolutely still now, petal.

Oh, Daddy, not now.

It'll be jolly interesting
in years to come

for people
to see how we Iived.

Yes, but not in the middle
of my seating plans.

Parswell.

�Young girl preparing
for her wedding�.

LADY AMES:
Excuse me.

Is the Reverend Fortescue
here, please?

(BABY CRYING)

I would like to see him.

Well, er...
he's upstairs asleep, ma'am.

But it's... it's ten o'clock.

Yeah.

Yeah, well... you know,
go and have a see if he's, er...

I think he should be
awake by now, don't you?

UD here?

I suppose so, yeah.

Excuse me.

(CHATTERING)

Excuse me.

Where would I find
the Reverend Fortescue?

- Through there, ma'am.
- Thank yo...

Oh, I'm sorry.

CHARLES'.
Oh, go away, giris.

I can't deal with
any more problems tonight.

Let me sleep.

Isabel! Ha!
Hello.

Isabel, how...
Isabel, how nice!

How nice to see you!
It's going terribly well.

The overcrowding's
a bit of a problem.

I even had to give up my bed.

I'm sorry to have disturbed yo...

I... I didn't know you were
so involved in your work.

Isabel, please don't go.

I'm in the way.
I can tell when I'm in the way.

- No, no, no. Vicky...
- Violet.

- Er, Violet. Would you and Ruby...
- Rosie.

Rosie. Go and clean upstairs
and get some help

from the three giris in my... bed.

What do you think of it?

It must be very nice for yo...

Isabel, what's the matter?

Matter?

Well, you sound rather less than
happy about something. Is it, er...

Is it the mess?

Listen. Since that night
at Mortonhampstead,

I haven't seen or heard of you.
You haven't visited me,

and the one time
I decide to visit you,

I find everyone
in one bed. Yours!

- Oh, Isabel, I can explain that quite easily.
- Oh, I'm sure you can.

You're a missionary. That's what
you're trained for, isn't it?

To explain things to people.

Isabel, these giris have no love
and affection in their lives.

I have to listen to them. I have to be
prepared to spend some time with them...

It must be avvful for yo...

Do you ever think of me?

Of course I think of you, Isabel.

I thought of you on Tuesday.

I was going to put
your name on the sign:

-"The Lady Ames Missi�n�.
- Oh!

What do you want?

I thought that night
was going to change our lives.

It did change my life, Isabel.

I mean, that night made
a great difference to me.

So I see.

The wedding invitation... yes.

That's Deborah.
She's avvfully keen on yo...

You can't do this to me,
Charles.

You can't unlock the door
and then just run away.

Isabel?

I give you fair warning.

If you don't help me
change my life,

I shall change it myself.

I shall start
with the bank account.

As you're doing so well,
you won't need my money any longer.

Goodbye, Charles,
and the answer is no.

Reverend! Reverend!
Look! It's bleeding!

- That bloody Lizzy Carpenter...
- Yes, yes, I see.

Isee.Isee.
Please, get out of the way!

You cow!

IsabeHIsabeH

Isabel, please!
I can explain!

NARRATOR:
The withdrawal of Lady Ames' funds

was a serious blow for
the Missi�n to Fallen Women.

But such was their regard
for Fortescue,

that the inmates
voluntarily decided

to go back onto the streets
to raise money.

The sel?ess action of the giris
did �ndeed save the missi�n,

but only to face another,
far more serious threat.

Bishop!

Don't let me hold up
the good work.

Oh, that's all right.
Plenty of willing hands.

- Can you take this, um...?
- Nellie.

How are you?

-28 giris last night, sir.
- Oh, good, good.

I'm trying to get everything
done before the wedding.

Oh, that's, er...
that's tomorrow, of course.

That's right.
Rather crept up on me, I'm afraid.

Fortescue, can we...
can we talk somewhere, old chap?

Somewhere away from the crowd?
I mean, do you have a room, or...?

Yes, but it's full of giris, my Lord.

They're painting it
while I'm away.

Here's probably as quiet
as anywhere.

Yes, but, er...

Oh, giris, giris, give us a
couple of minutes, would you?

Yes, Your Reverence.

Louise! Give us two minutes,
could you, please?

Now, what brings you down here?

No, to talk. To talk.

Ijust dropped in, actually,
on my way back from

the Missionary Council meeting.

I should imagine they must be
rather pleased with us, my Lord.

Well, they're a funny lot.

You know how, er... competitive
the churches are nowadays.

- Hockey, my Lord?
- No.

No, no, no. Religion.

Ah.

Well, to be quite blunt, we've had
complaints of unfair competition

from the other religions
in the area.

The Catholics, the Methodists,

the Unitarians, and Anabaptists.

Um... they've all had
to close missions,

becausethey,en_
they can't get the giris.

Well, that's rather a feather
in our cap, isn't it, my Lord?

Well, it's the grounds of
the complaints, I'm afraid.

What grounds?

I should pad up, Fortescue.

I'm going to bowl you
some rather fast balls.

-(GIGGLING)
- No! Giris! Later! Later, please!

Now, Father D'Arcy of
the Society of Jes�s

Claims he knows for certain

that you've had sexual dealings
with a Miss Ada Shields,

a well-known and apparently
unrepentant lady of the streets,

who resides at
41G Willis Building.

And Mr Penny of the
First Risen Church of God

says that giris
who used to come to him

now go to you because you
offer them, er... sexual favour.

And furthermore, Mr Hardy

of the Hackney Wick
Methodist Community Hall

says that he's seen you
through the window �helping giris�.

- I can explain, my Lord.
- There's no need to, old boy. No need to.

I know what you say is true,

but once tongues start wagging...

Look, I'm your greatest supporter.

You played a cracking innings here,

but I think the time has come,
especially on the eve of your marriage,

to think of moving on.

- Moving on?
- We've found an excellent successor,

a lady of great character,

thoroughly trained
in the prison service...

But I can't leave the giris.

Well, I'm afraid it's either that
or the, er...

Missionary Council
close the place down,

and consider disciplinary action
of some sort,

and that's not worth it
with a career like yours,

now is it, old chap?

I'II lay you an odds-on bet you could
be a bishop yourself in five years.

- Who, me?
- Oh yes, if you play your cards right.

I have it on very high authority.

One of the better dioceses,
nothing too industrial.

Just what Deborah always wanted.

A big old house
swarming with children.

Absolutely, and why not?

Don't throw your future
away down here, Fortescue.

These people aren't worth it.

Well, I must be on my way.

I've got an exorcism in Chiswick.

BISHOP:
Talking about big old houses,

I'm sorry to hear about
our friend Lady Ames.

We've coped very well
without her money, my Lord.

In fact, rather better.

No, no, I mean the nasty business
down at Mortonhampstead yesterday.

- What nasty business?
- Oh, rather unpleasant.

Someone poisoned the food.
One of the gardeners died outright.

CHARLES:
How dreadful.

Yes, well, it could've been
a great deal worse.

The butler took
the wrong turning.

The food was apparently intended
for Lord Ames himself.

Thank yo...

Well, cheer up.

I, er...

I think you've made
the right decisi�n.

LADY AMES'.
I give you fair warning.

If you're not going
to help me change my life,

I shall change �t myself.

(BELL JANGLING)

Afternoon, sir. The dog.

- What?
- The dog awaits.

Mr Cariton, the second footman,
will collect on Tuesday, sir.

- Don't you remember me?
- Yes, of course, sir.

You are Mr Emmanuel,
the dog clipper from Faversham.

No, my name is Fortescue,
the missionary.

I stayed here once.

Fortescue...

Medium height, dark hair,
moustache, dog collar.

Yes, yes, that's me.
I wish to see Lady Ames, please.

I'm afraid you can't, sir.

- It is very urgent.
- I'm afraid she isn't here, sir.

Atter the untortunate attempt
on her husbanc�s �te,

she insisted on
taking him away with her, sir,

to recover from the shock.

- She's taken him away?
- To shoot.

What?

At Carnoustie, sir, in Scotland.

One of their Scottish homes, sir.

- Where is it?
- You can't miss it, sir.

Turn right out of the station.

Or left.

Thank yo...

Not at all, sir.

Are you sure you aren't
Mr Emmanuel from Faversham?

No, no, no,
my name is Fortescue.

Ah!

You're Fort... ah.

In that case, I must
point out, sir, that, er...

I have strict instructions
from Her Ladyship

not to tell you, er, that...

She's at Carnoustie House
in Scotland.

That's right, sir.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Not at all, sir.

(DOG BARKING)

NARRATOR: So �t was
that on the vely day

he was to marry
Deborah Fitzbanks,

Fortescue Chose instead
a l�fe-or-death missi�n

500 miles away in
the highlands of Scotland.

- MOrning!
- MOrning!

I say, it is marvellous
this place, isn't it?

- Absolutely splendid.
- Absolutely splendid.

Did you manage
to find a Iavatory?

- No.
- No...

HOY me.

MAHARAJAH:
How big are the grouse?

LORD AMES:
The grouse? Oh, they're quite big.

Good, good. I can only kill
the larger bird now.

Love the car, sir.

Yes. I thought I ought
to get a few.

Well, what are we all waiting for?
Champagne's getting warm.

I'II join you all later.

Mr Corbett and I have some
business things to attend to.

Oh, don't sound
so terribly disappointed.

I know what you men really think
about women in the field.

- We're only a distraction.
- Nonsense!

Nonsense. Very decorative.

Climb aboard the bone-shaker!

Here we go... UP!

Who's she with nowadays?

No idea.

I expected to see old Cholmondeley
sniffing around, I don't mind telling yo...

Oh no, he only shoots
with the royals nowadays.

Jocelyn Cholmondeley?
How low can they stoop?

Got shot in the hip
by the King last week.

Really?

Couldn't say anything,
of course.

Had to crawl around all day
pretending nothing had happened.

Screamed for four hours
in the evening, though.

Good!

(CHATTERING)

You've taken care
of everything, Corbett?

- Indeed, madam.
- Nothing can go wrong?

- You have my word.
- Good.

Madam?

You know I love Jeannie
and the wee ones,

but there's never been
an hour of a day go by

without me thinking of yo...

Well, that's nice of you, Corbett.

I knew you'd want me
for something special.

I knew the call would come, so

I've been holding myself

in readiness.

I shall make it worth your while.

Just to be rid of that man
would be enough for me.

To know that our forbidden love
can blossom

like wild jasmine on
the slopes of Ben Shiel.

No. I meant money, Corbett.

What need I of money when
I have you, and you have me?

I've seen you admiring my body.

I've seen you glancing at it
on hot summer evenings.

We'll use this one.

I... I don't mind.
I like you to look at it.

I've kept it for you.
I don't drink. I don't smoke.

I eat raw meats and I undergo
dreadful physical hardships every winter

in order to bring it
to a peak of perfection.

Do you want to see it?

No. Not now, Corbett.

We must be up there as soon as
the first champagne break,

which, ifl know Henry,
will be in ten minutes' time.

Fetch the coaches, will you?

Oh, I love it
when you give me orders.

Now!

Oooh!

Isabel?

Charles!
What are you doing here?

I've come to stop yo...

How... how dare you?

How dare you
interfere with my plans?

- You mustn't kill him.
- Why not?

What business is it of yours,
interfering priest?

- You could hang for it.
- No-one's going to hang.

It'll be a simple Shooting accident.

Isabel, this is England in 1906.

People don't go around killing
each other because they don't get on.

No. Theyjust endure,
don't they?

Stiff upper Iip.
That's the British way.

I'm sure it wasn't
like that in Africa.

Africa's primitive.

Oh, yes. Well, God save us
from being primitive.

There's not so much wrong
with the British way.

- For your class, especially.
- My class?

This is not my class, Charles.

You Know whaU mean.

You don't know what l mean.

(COCKNEY ACCENT)
You alone, sir?

Want some company?

(lean and cheap'?

Yes, I've disguised it well,
haven�l?

Ihadto.

The honest tan
never gets anywhere.

No, they're not
my bloody class, thank God!

CORBETT:
Your Ladyship, the coach is here!

You go on, Corbett.

You know what to do.

- Isabel, I...
- Please, don't.

I don't want to be understood.

Not now.

What are you going to do?

What are you going
to gain from this?

Isabel?

(TRYING TO LOCK DOOR)

Isabel?

IsabeH

Isabel?

Isabel?

Isabel! Isabel!

(SOLEMN ORGAN MUSIC)

(CHATTERING)

Champagne! More Champagne!
Are you ready?

(GASPING)

Dear God.

Oh, thank yo...

CHARLES:
Excuse me!

DRIVER:
Oi!

Oi!

(LAUGHTER)

(CORKS POPPING)

LORD AMES:
Much improves the aim, you know!

MAHARAJAH: When I was a young man,
I could even shoot the puduni.

What the hell's a puduni?

Oh, it's a tiny Indian bird,
just very small.

I could shoot it
between beak and ear,

without damaging either.

That was when I could
still see, of course.

(EVERYBODY LAUGHING)

Oh, I see, yes! Very good!

Still drinking?

We were just discussing

what's the smallest thing
anyone's ever killed.

- Oh, really?
- Newlyn Claims to have shot

a bluebottle with a twelve-bore.

He didn't kill it, though.

Had to finish it off
with his foot.

Are we starting soon?

AII right, all right.

Smce when have you been
se Keen en shoo�mg'?

(CHATTERING)

- Well, where am I?
- Haven't the foggiest, old man.

- Where are you?
- Well, I'm down there.

- Where am I?
- You're down there, too.

That'll be cosy.

Good fellow. Aah!

What?

(SILENT MOUTHING)

(BABY CRYING)

(SILENT MOUTHING)

(ORGANIST PLAYS
�HERE COMES THE BRIDE�)

(DOGS BARKING)

Ready, Maharajah?

Sahib!

You ready, old chap?

Ready, General!

Everybody ready?

- We're with you, Henry!
- Rather!

Ready! Ready, General!

Ready, General.

(METAL SCRAPING)

(PANTING)

Here they come.
Nice fat ones!

Here we go!

(MULTIPLE GUNSHOTS)

Damn and bugger!

Blast!

Oh, well done, love!

I say...

Stop! Please stop!

L say!

Get down, sir! Get down, sir!

Get down!
Do you want to be killed?

LORD AMES: What the hell
do you think you're playing at?

(CRYING OUT)

I say, what's going on?
Why has everybody stopped?

Good God.
-W OMAN'. Someone's been shot!

Please, do something!

(BABY CRYING)

(FOOTSTEPS)

- Hurry!
- Is Henry all right?

Yes, looks like it.

The woman took the brunt of it.
Shot in the back.

Thank God for that.

- Came up over the hill.
- Which hill?

- CHARLES: Take her home.
- Not my cart, sir.

- CHARLES: Take her home!
- Yes, sir.

- You'll be all right.
- I'm sure.

Corbetfs such
a Moody awim shot.

I'm sorry.
Dear God, I'm sorry.

You were only trying
to do the decent thing.

Oh, no, don't.

Charles...

That's the trouble with you.
You're far too decent.

MAN: Apparently that
Vicar chappie saved Henly's life!

Don't let them make you
into a hero, Charles.

They do love a hero.

I got it all wrong, didn't I?

What do you mean?

I tried to convert the missionary.

IsabeL�

Isabel?

- I say, well done!
- Well done, old chap!

- Dashed narrow escape!
- You saved the old boy's life!

DEBORAH'.
�Dear Mr and Mrs Campion,

�thank you so much
for your wedding present,

�which I herewith
regretfully return.

�Yours sincerely...

�Deborah F�zbanks.

-(KNOCKING)
-"Miss�.

Come in.

I, er... sorry to be
an inconvenient, er...

Miss Deborah,
at this hour, but, er...

What you want done
with this, please, miss?

What is it, Parswell?

I don't rightly know, ma'am.

I found it under the bed.

How strange.

You look nice with your hair
like that, Parswell.

(DOORS OPENING AND CLOSING)

SLATTERTHWAITE:
I'm sorry, Your Lordship.

I turned right
at the top of the stairs.

AII right, all right.

Get in, get in.

Hello, giris.

NARRATOR:
After the Shooting of Lady Ames,

or the rescue of Lord Ames,
as �t became known,

Fortescue returned
to the missi�n he loved,

and which had loved him.

So successful was he
at filling �t with giris,

that, in March 1907,

the Bishop of London
himself closed �t down.

Come on, you �dle buggers,
give us a hand!

NARRATOR: The Bishop now offered
Fortescue a simple choice:

to stay in Dock/and,
or stay in the Church.

He chose to stay in Dockland.

And, though he never wore
a dog collar again,

he was known
to the end of his life

as �the Missionary�.

What's all this for, then?

Well, we'll use it to patch up
one of those sheds

at the end of the walk,

and have somewhere
to muck around in.

Will it be a missi�n?

No, no. Just somewhere
to muck around in.

Let's get it.
Come on, we're going!

I can't move this on my own.

Well, leave �t!

CHARLES:
Isabel, we don't need that!

LADY AMES: We need
everything we can get!

CHARLES: Look, you're only living
in one house now, not three.

LADY AMES:
Don't start preaching to me!

- CHARLES: Well, you're so stubborn!
- I'm not stubborn!

It'll look lovely
over the mantelpiece.

CHARLES:
We haven't got a mantelpiece.

LADY AMES:
You've got no imagination.

CHARLES:
I've got no money.

GIN PALACE SINGER:
? Johnny loved a pretty girl

? On whom he used to call

A� And he thought the girl
that fact would like to know

a� How to break the news to her

A� He'd no idea at all

S And he let no end of splendid chances go

A� Best thing l can do, said he

? Is take her for a Stroll

? To propose indoors l think is hardly right

A� What you want's a place

? With no-one near you, not a soul

S So I think I'll say

A� When l call round tonight... I'

Come on, everybody!

CHORUS'.
A' Put on your ta-ta, little g�rlie

A� Do do what l want you to

S Far from the busy hurly burly

a� I've got lots to say to you

a� My head's completely twirly whirly

A� My girl l want you to be

S So put on your ta-ta

A� Your pretty little ta-ta

A� And come out to ta-ta with me A�

SINGER:
That's lovely. That's lovely.

Come on, everybody,
settle down, eh?

And you, missus. Go on, smile.
Give your face a holiday.

That's right. AH right!

? Now some young men are
backward �n proposing, so they say

S But �f she's made up her mind
that he's the one

? Let him merely show the will,
she'll soon find the way

A� And before he's quite
aware of it, it's done

a� Johnny and the girl sat
�n the parlour quite a while

a� But to tell you all they said
would be a shame

? For since that night he seems
to wear an everlasting smile

a� And no more has
special reason to exclaim... S

All together, now!
Put your backs into �t!

CHORUS'.
A' Put on your ta-ta, little g�rlie

A� Do do what l want you to

S Far from the busy hurly burly

a� I've got lots to say to you

a� My head's completely twirly whirly

A� My girl l want you to be

S So put on your ta-ta

A� Your pretty little ta-ta

? And come out to ta-ta with me

A� Put on your ta-ta, little girlie

A� Do do what l want you to

S Far from the busy hurly burly

a� I've got lots to say to you

a� My head's completely twirly whirly

A� My girl l want you to be

S So put on your ta-ta

A� Your pretty little ta-ta

A� And come out to ta-ta

A� And come out to ta-ta with... a�

SCHOOLMASTER'. Fortescue!
Put the book away, boy.

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