Original subtitles

If you were to ask the five best

filmmakers in the world right now

to make a movie like this,

it, it wouldn't even be in the same universe.

I was blown away. Like, like three minutes in

I turn to my friend and go,

"This is the fucking greatest movie

I've ever seen in my life."

It has withstood, like, ten years.

And people are still watching a movie

and talking about a movie.

People aren't doing that about whatever won the Oscar

for Best Picture ten years ago.

What genius is behind this?

Tommy wanted to break...

Tommy wanted to break barriers in filmmaking.

I think that he had a very clear vision.

He is a figure of mystery where, you know,

you do wanna learn more about him.

Who is this man? Who is this auteur?

The kind of sheer ambition of it is...

is incredible.

The numbers probably prove

how unlikely it is that you'll make it.

If I had a time machine, I wouldn't

go do a bunch of st... uh, stuff you...

I would go back and try and get on that set,

just to watch and feel what it was like.

'Cause it has to be unbelievable.

Subtitles by explosiveskull

We'll hang ourselves tomorrow. Unless God-oh comes.

And, and if he comes?

We'll be saved.

Well.

Sh... Shall we go?

Pull on your trousers.

What?

Pull on your trousers.

You want me to pull off my trousers?

I want you to stop. Stop.

Jesus. That was painfully unremarkable.

Rob. Y-You're like a robot.

- Yeah. - And it's "Godot."

- Sorry. - And Greg.

You're so scared. And so insecure.

You're like a, like a wounded puppy.

Do you even want to be an actor?

Uh, yeah, m... more than anything.

Okay, well, then it must be a big secret,

because I can't tell at all.

You've been coming to class for, like, two months now.

And, um...

you need to, to loosen up and relax.

You gotta really just expose yourself

or no one's ever gonna care.

- Okay, Greg? - Yeah, okay.

Okay. Thank you.

Okay, who here can really reveal themselves to the class?

Anybody?

I go.

Great. What do you have for us today, Thomas?

It Tommy.

Always Tommy.

You, come on, we do scene.

Okay.

What are we doing?

Do you know?

Just go with it.

Stella.

Stella!

Stella!

What is he doing?

Stella!

Stella!

Stella! Stella!

Oh, no. I think he's nailing it.

Stella!

Stella. Stella.

Don't ever leave me, baby.

Uh... Thank you for that.

Hey.

Uh, e-excuse me.

Tommy?

Hey.

Um, I'm... I'm Greg.

Yeah. I see you in there.

Um, I was, I was just wondering if you maybe

wanted to do a scene together?

You want to do scene with me?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

No blitzing! Hit it! Hit it!

Yeah! That's my boy!

What you got?

Oh, oh. Hey, hey. Car, car. Sidewalk. Sidewalk.

Hey, j... Uh, give me a second, guys.

Hey.

All your friend little kid?

Yeah, no, I was, I was just waiting for you.

Okay. Get in.

I, I thought we were just gonna do it at my place.

No, I have to eat.

Don't worry, I know a great place. You'll love it.

O... Okay.

And bring football.

Sure

All right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go, guys.

I'll see you guys later.

Nice car.

Why? You poor?

Oh, no, just, you know, none of my friends have a car this nice.

'Cause all your friends little kid.

Yeah, no, I just mean it's expensive.

It's nice. That's, that's all.

Don't talk about me.

What?

What I drive. What I say. What I do.

Don't tell anybody. You understand, yeah?

- Yeah, no, I... I won't. - Okay.

And don't look at robot crab. He shy.

Bye, little kids.

So. Why you bring me here?

Wha... What do you mean?

Scene partner.

That joke?

- No, not at all. - Then what, Greg?

I don't see point.

Okay. Um... All right, listen.

When, um, when I, when I get up

on stage in front of people,

it's like all I can think about is, uh,

"What if, what if they laugh at me or if I embarrass myself?"

Um, but you, man, you're, like, fucking fearless, and I just...

I... I wanna feel that, too.

I just, I want, I want that. I want what, what you have.

And I just, I... I figured I could,

I could learn something from you.

- That's... That's it. - Oh, all right.

- Yeah. - Let's do scene.

Oh, you wanna, you wanna do a scene here?

Are you not dedicated actor?

I'm dedicated. I just... There...

You know, there's other people eating, and I just don't...

I don't care about these people.

Come on. You have to do it.

O... Okay. Yeah.

I'll play the man, The Lightning-Rod Man.

And you play this other one with the Z.

Uh, Zechariah. Zechariah.

- Yeah. - Okay.

Good day, sir.

Uh... Good day.

Come on. You have to be louder.

Tommy, I just, I don't...

Don't worry about these people.

There only you and there only me.

Now do it. Project.

- O-Okay. - Good day, sir.

Okay. Um... um...

- Don't be weird. Just do it. - Yeah, I'm... I'm...

I'm sorry...

H... Have I the honor... A visit, uh, from the illustrious g-god,

- Jupiter Tonans. - Okay, that's good.

- Okay, that's good. Keep going. - All right. Uh... S... Uh...

So stood, stood he in, in the Greek statue, uh, of old,

grasping the lightning bolts.

- Yeah. What you doing? - If you be he or his viceroy,

- I... I have to, uh, thank... - Okay, thank God.

I have to thank you for this noble storm you have,

have brewed among our mountains.

Okay, that's great. Now, we're at top of mountain.

The rain pouring, wind going.

And the lightning, everything.

A very fine rod. I dare say.

And what are these particular precautions of yours?

Close yonder shutter.

The slanting rain beating through.

- Come on, come on. - All right. Uh...

- Mountain top right now. - Are...

- There's rain and wind going. - Yeah.

Are... Are you, are you mad?

Uh... Know you not that, uh, yon...

yon iron bar is a swift conductor?

Pray touch the bell pull there.

Uh... Are, are you frantic? Are you frantic?

Never touch bell wire in a thunderstorm.

Oh, wow.

- Nor ring a bell of any sort. - Wow!

How about this guy? Wow.

- Wow. - Thank you.

Wow. Everybody got lucky today.

You don't have to pay for this performance.

Thank you. You're welcome very much.

Tommy, that felt fucking amazing, man.

There you go. Now you're acting, Greg.

That was like Shakespeare.

Uh. Whoa.

How uh... how often do you play football, Tommy?

I love football.

- You love it? - It's nice to play?

Yeah, I agree.

- Great American game. - Yeah.

Okay. Got it here.

You ever been to Los Angeles?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Once. Uh... When I was little.

Yeah. My mom took me down there.

It's like, best two days of my life.

Los Angeles, everybody want to be star.

All the pretty boys,

they lining up for their big shot.

Just, uh... Just have to get lucky, I guess.

No. No. It's not luck, Greg.

Greg, you have to be the best.

You have to be the best you can be.

And never give up.

Whoa. What are you... What are we doing here?

What... Okay.

- All right. - Touchdown!

Touchdown!

- Touchdown! - Touchdown!

This is a cool fucking building, man.

How long have you lived here?

Must ask you again, don't talk about me.

- Not to class. Not to anybody. - Yeah, no. Of course.

This is it.

Okay.

Come in.

You can go in there.

Maid on vacation.

Whoa.

Uh, Tommy, where, uh, where're you from?

- From New Orleans. - Uh, no, like uh, originally.

Yeah, that one. You know, Louisiana.

Oh, okay.

The accent threw me off.

What accent?

You want a Red Bull?

Thanks.

When, uh... When was this taken?

Few years ago.

Really? You just... You look so young in it.

Wow. Look at that. Don't be smart guy.

- Oh, sorry man... - Why don't you sit down, relax.

Yeah, yeah, no. That was... my bad. I didn't mean to...

- Looking all my stuff. - Yeah.

- Sorry. - A little bit nosy guy.

Yeah.

Uh... so, wh... H... How did you get into acting?

Oh. It always been dream.

- Long time. - Yeah?

But I ignore it.

Then one day I get into accident.

What happened?

Guy run red light, and smash.

- Wow. - Very bad for Tommy.

- Wow. - I almost die.

- But then I survive. - Wow.

It was like wake-up call, you could say.

Yeah, definitely.

After that I stopped doing all the other things,

and I go back to my dream.

And everybody say, "You such crazy guy. So stupid guy."

I say, "I don't care. I do it."

- Yes. - I know I can do it.

I get that. With me, everything changed with Home Alone.

Oh. You, you're home alone long time?

Uh, uh, the, the movie. The movie Home Alone.

- Oh, it's movie. - Yeah.

- With Macaulay Culkin. - Okay.

Okay, um... Yeah, so, um, anyways, that movie,

it... it spoke to me, you know?

It, it changed my life and,

and ever since then I just, I have...

- Nev... - I get it.

You want to be star.

Yeah, I've... I just wanted to be in the movies.

You know, Greg, you and me, we are the same.

Oh, yeah? How's, how's that?

We both have this dream.

Yeah. I guess we do.

And, for your information, I was home alone too.

Except not movie, in real life.

Don't I buy you everything you want?

A bicycle, you get a bicycle. A car.

- You buy me many things. - No, no, no.

- He bought me many things. - We're not just buying things.

We give you love and affection, don't we?

It's not a place for kids!

A minute ago you said you didn't care if he drinks.

He said a little drink.

You're tearing me apart!

Oh, my God.

You, you say one thing, he says another and everybody...

He's the best, I told you.

You're taking me apart.

Tearing. You're tearing me apart.

Yeah, he's emotion.

- Moment to moment. Not plastic. - I knew you'd like it, man.

You know, you could be like Dean.

Me?

My God, you're behind the schedule.

Listen to me, young man,

you have the gift, you have the looks.

Yeah. Hey, if I can have a career in this business,

so can you, man.

- Uh... I don't want career. - You don't want a career?

- I thought that's... - I want my own planet.

Uh, your own planet?

Yeah it's cool. Everybody love each other.

That's why it's the best planet.

Sounds great. Sounds ideal, really.

I have a present for you.

Welcome to my planet, Greg.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, yeah. Rebel Without A Cause,

East of Eden, and Giant. That's it.

- Wow. - Yeah.

Three movies, then all of a sudden he's dead.

- That's so crazy. - Yeah.

- Tragedy. - It is.

You know, he died just a little bit south of here.

I wanna go one day, to the crash site.

Pay my respects.

Why don't we go now?

Now? No, Tommy, it's not that close.

It's like 300 miles away.

300 mile, who care? We just do it.

It would take hours, man.

Okay. Then you drive.

What?

- Tommy, are you serious? - Yeah I'm serious.

Greg, the Dean won't go to you. You have to go to the Dean.

All right, fuck it. All right. Let's do this shit.

- Road trip! - Road trip!

I'll miss him. Very much.

His whole life people tell him,

"You're not good enough. You'll never make it."

- But he doesn't listen. - He show them all.

That'll be us one day, Greg.

I... I... I hope we're not dead on the side of a road.

No, not that part. That we be famous.

We'll show them. You'll see.

- Yeah, maybe. - No, Greg, listen.

- Give me pinky. - What?

- What are we, ten years old? - We pinky swear.

Right here, right now. We make pact.

That we always push each other,

that we always believe in each other,

and that we will never forget dream.

All right.

- Okay? - Okay.

- Woo! James Dean! - Oh, we miss you, James!

We with you, brother, always!

♪ Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye ♪

♪ Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you ♪

I think it about us, huh?

Maybe.

Yeah, maybe.

You know, Greg, I've been thinking.

We should move to Los Angeles.

Really. It where everything happening.

Yeah, I fucking wish.

- So, why not? - Um...

For one, I, I can't afford it.

It not problem. We just go stay at my place.

Wait, wait. You have a place in LA?

Yeah. I have apartment I rarely use.

We can go there together.

Wait, Tommy, you have an apartment

in LA and San Francisco?

- Yeah... - How,

how do you afford that? Wh...

Greg, money not issue. I told you.

Tommy, are you... You're being serious right now?

Yes, Greg.

But the real question,

are you serious?

Yes. Let's do this!

- All right! Roommates. - Roommates.

Yeah, I see you smiling, Baby Face. It's gonna be great.

♪ I never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down ♪

♪ Never gonna run around ♪

♪ and desert you ♪

Greg!

Greg, Greg, have you lost your mind?

What... You're leaving now?

- Yeah. - No. No. This is absurd.

You can't just pack up and move to Los Angeles.

What are you gonna do for money?

I have money saved from my modeling jobs.

From your mod...

That money's gonna last you two weeks.

Then what are you gonna do?

Then I'll get a job or...

I don't know, but I'll figure it out.

What about this Tommy person?

You barely know this guy, you're moving in with him?

He's being a good friend. He's just looking out for me.

Oh, my God. Greg.

Do you... Do you understand how hard it is?

This acting thing?

You don't just show up in LA and things happen.

It doesn't work like that.

You have to know people. You have to be very lucky.

You have to work really hard.

You have to be talented.

I... I didn't mean it like that.

Oh, my God.

- Okay. Good. - What are... Mom!

- No, I'm gonna meet Tommy. - No, no, no, no, no. Mom.

- Please, you don't... Why? Why? - I'm gonna meet your little,

your little friend Tommy. This is gonna be good.

- Come on. - Hello! Hi!

- Hi! - Why is he driving a Mercedes?

- It's complicated. - Greg, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I have an idea, why don't you guys come in for a second,

and we'll get to know each other a little bit.

- We can't. - We don't have time, Mom.

You're on a schedule?

Mom, just come give me a hug, please.

Just a second. Just a second. Just a second. Just a second.

It's quite a fancy car you have here, Tommy. Wow.

Wow. How...

How old are you?

- Wow, what a question, my God. - That's a personal question,

you can't ask people that question.

- Don't worry, I'm Greg age. - You're 19?

Yeah.

I just turned 14.

Wow. Happy birthday.

Okay, Tommy, what is it about

my son that you find so intriguing?

No big deal. Baby Face cool guy.

- Baby Face. - Okay, all right, Mom.

- Baby Face? - It's a long drive.

Oh, my God.

Look at me. It's gonna be fine.

It'll be fine.

I'm gonna call you right when I get in, okay?

She crazy.

What? Tommy, shut up.

- Wow. - ♪ Hit it ♪

See? Almost to Los Angeles.

Oh, shit!

♪ One, two, three, get loose now ♪

♪ It takes two to make a It takes two to make a ♪

♪ It takes two to make ♪

♪ It takes two to make It takes two to make ♪

Home sweet home.

It's not castle, but it's okay.

Just my pied-à-terre.

- It's perfect, man. - Yeah.

Is it, um, just the one bedroom?

You don't want to share bed with me?

Uh, um...

I just joking.

Oh, my God. You should've seen your face.

Yeah, you got me.

- Don't worry. You take bedroom. - No. No, Tommy, no.

I just maybe put up some curtain

and make little room in corner or something.

No, Tommy. No way. I'll just take the couch.

This is great, I swear.

No, no. I insist.

I want you to be my guest. Like Beauty and Beast.

I will be Beauty, of course.

Of course.

- Ha, ha, ha, ha. - Ah, man.

Man, you've had this place this whole time?

Yeah. I... I had it several years now.

And, and, you've never wanted to like,

move down here yourself

and give acting a real shot?

Well, I never had friend to do it with before.

Come on. Want to show you best part.

- Come on. - Yeah. Yeah.

Look. There it is.

- That's incredible, man. - Yeah.

We are doing this.

- We are doing this. - Tomorrow,

this will all be yours, Greg.

We will own you, LA!

Watch out, here we come.

You will know our name!

♪ You feel it, baby ♪

♪ I can too ♪

♪ Come on, swing it Come on, swing it ♪

Okay, too much wind machine. Blow me away, my God.

♪ It's such a good vibration ♪

♪ It's such a sweet sensation ♪

♪ It's such a good vibration ♪

♪ It's such a sweet sensation ♪

♪ Yo, it's about that time ♪

So are we the first agency you've met with?

- Uh, yeah. - Oh, well. These are great.

Uh, well, thanks, man.

Yeah. These are great. Are you funny?

Uh, yes. Yeah.

'Cause you should get a character headshot.

Yeah, no, yeah. Show my comedic side.

Yeah. Just one that's you, but... You know?

Gain weight. Would you do that for a role?

- One hundred percent. - And then immediately lose it?

Yeah. You know what, I'm...

Whatever I need to do, right? Yeah.

One second. Ah, could you get Iris in here for a second?

- Yes, sir. - Thank you so much.

Yes, sir.

Where's the fire?

Hey, I'm... I'm Greg.

Well...

Stand up.

- You want me to turn? - Hmm.

- What's with the dyed hair? - Frosted tips.

I, I... I can... I'm not married to it. I can... Okay.

You seeing anybody else?

I, I... No. I wasn't...

I wasn't... wasn't planning on it.

No, you're mine.

You got it?

- Yeah, no, I... - Good buddy. Sign him up.

I like this one.

Welcome to Iris Burton Agency.

Congratulations.

- Okay... - ♪ Finally ♪

Wow, you got agent, Greg. It's celebration.

So, you must tell me everything.

What do you mean?

The acting business.

How to become big star, like you.

Big star? Tommy, I'm not a star.

Okay. So modest, this guy. Come on, you're on your way.

All right,

I'm just trying to think of where to start.

- Need agent. - Yeah.

But that's kinda the hardest part.

You already have agent, right?

Yeah.

Okay, so you just tell 'agent about me.

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

You know what, that could work.

- I've never... - Oh, my God.

- Love this song! - Oh, yeah, you...

I have to dance, Greg.

Yeah, do... do what you gotta do.

God, come on.

- Oh, no, no, no. Not me. Not me - Come on. Come on, Greg.

- No, I'm like the goofiest dancer. - You have to do it!

- No, please. - Don't worry. I'm great dancer.

- Come on. - No.

Oh, my God.

Wh... Wow.

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

Hey, do you need another? Vodka soda?

Uh, yes, please. Thank you.

♪ The rhythm of the night ♪

Your friend is unique.

Yeah, yeah, he's, uh... That's a good word for it.

Have I seen you someplace before?

I, I don't know. I, uh... I'm an actor...

I know. You're always at that, um...

Poquito Más. In the Valley.

And, you know, next time, next time you see me there

you should come over and say hello, or, or whatever.

Yeah, or you could just give me a call.

My name is Amber.

I may have been trying to impress you...

- You're lying. - Greg! Come on, Let go.

Yeah... Dude, just one... Um...

- I wanna go! - I guess we are going.

But, uh, thank you anyways for the drink.

Oh, yeah. This one's on me.

- Come on. This bar suck. - Uh...

Okay, I should really, um... Okay.

- Yeah. All right. See ya. - All right. Bye!

- Talk soon. - Bye!

He's crashing. Come on, Senator!

Stay with me. I ain't losing you tonight.

- We're losing him. - Goddamn it!

Rule to my class are simple. Work hard. Show up on time.

Try not fall asleep, everybody.

Any question before we start?

It sounds like you're doing... Am I hearing an accent?

Uh, no, no. What do you mean?

Because I'm hearing kind of an Eastern European accent.

No, that is, uh, that's from New Orleans.

Where? What?

New Orleans, you heard... you know...

Where?

- The Big Easy. - Oh, New Orleans.

I thought... I didn't know what you were saying.

- Okay. Yeah, well... - Okay. Can we just

try to lose the accent?

Take it again.

The rules to the class are simple.

Work hard.

Show up on time.

Try not to fall asleep.

Any questions before we start?

Um... I think... that about does her.

- Well, I've been watching you. - Watching me?

I auditioned for that part.

- That guy? - Yeah.

You're way more attractive than that guy.

Yeah?

- Yeah. - Hey, Greg!

Tommy. Hey.

- Hey! - Who's this?

Uh, this is Amber. Who I was telling you about.

- Oh, girlfriend. - Uh... I don't know. Uh...

Okay. Well, I don't have time for this.

I'm very busy right now.

I have to change really quickly and go.

Okay. Is everything all right?

Yeah, everything great on my end.

You heard of Konstantin Stanislavski?

Of course, yeah. He's, like,

the greatest acting teacher of all time.

Yeah. And now he Tommy acting teacher.

He seen something special in me.

You know, maybe I become big star.

So I have first class this evening.

I'm pretty sure Stanislavski is dead.

No, he not dead.

I just speak to him, for your information.

What you think I speak to, ghost?

- No. - No.

Maybe ghost real, but I can't talk to them.

- Hey, no. Tommy, we're happy for you. - I'm sorry. Sorry.

That... That's exciting.

Okay. I'll let you know how it is, Baby Face.

Maybe you can join me some day.

Maybe I will.

When you not so busy.

I'm so sorry.

Did he call you Baby Face?

Bring girlfriend over. Watching Gilmore Girls. Whatever.

Love is not love, when alter...

when alteration find.

Stop.

Stop!

What, uh, exactly, were you doing there?

I do sonnet. You know sonnet?

Yeah. I know what a sonnet is.

But, I think what I'm asking is,

why on Earth would you choose... to do that, here?

I do the Shakespeare.

Have you, uh, looked at yourself?

- Yeah, I see myself. - This is... No offense.

You have a malevolent, uh, presence.

You are a perfect villain.

I'm not scary guy.

I can see you as Dracula, Frankenstein.

I'm not Frankenstein.

I'm trying to give you a shortcut to success.

Keep your shortcut in your pocket.

Have you read any Shakespeare?

I know all Shakespeare.

- Well, The Tempest? - Yeah.

- You're Caliban. - Yeah, what he do? He hero?

No. He's the ogre that guards the island.

What's this ogre?

Ogre. I am hero.

And you all are villain.

Yeah. You all laugh. Ha, ha, ha.

You know what, that what villain do.

Okay. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Dude, it's been a fucking year. You know what I mean? Like...

I did this HBO thing, where I'm like, the second lead.

Things be going crazy.

Yeah, no, it seems that way.

This is where shit fucking...

Yeah, no. You're gonna take off after this.

This is like...

You're going. That's...

You know, I'm happy for you.

- What about you, though? - I've been good.

Been working?

I don't know.

My agents are saying it's kinda like

slow season or whatever. But...

No. There's never a slow season.

It's always shit working.

Do you, like, call your agents every day?

Yeah, I mean...

Where you start, fire that fucking spooky friend of yours.

That fucking vampire-looking motherfucker.

It's like... Who is he?

He's just, I don't know. He's a friend.

- He's my roommate. - 'Cause he's fucking...

You can't go anywhere with that dude.

Hollywood's pussy dries up when you walk in with this dude.

They just fucking clamp shut like a fucking...

Hollywood puts on a fucking chastity belt.

Did you see the new, uh, Star Wars?

I kinda went for the Jar Jar Binks thing.

It's pretty funny.

And, well, you know. It doesn't really get you that far.

It's like too much action. Like, it never stops.

There's no story.

And it makes me pass out.

A couple friends of mine went and saw it recently.

Hi.

You big Hollywood producer, right? I see you on TV.

Ah, yeah. How are you? Nice to see you.

Tommy Wiseau. Hi.

- Nice to meet you, thank you. - Hi, young lady.

- Okay... - I don't want to bullshit.

I don't want to do none of the bullshit.

I'm very talented,

and I have many good ideas.

We're having dinner.

Okay? You don't walk up to people's table and do this.

That's not how it works in this business, okay?

Which way? Tell me how do it.

You can call my agency, United Talent,

send your resume to United Talent Agency, to David Krammer...

- Okay, I show you, okay. - All right.

To be, or not to be.

That is the question.

Whether nobler in mind to suffer sling and arrow...

Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to stop that.

Is this gentleman bothering you?

What the fuck do you think?

- You don't like Shakespeare? - Sir, I need you to leave.

Okay, I do the Tennessee Williams.

I don't want Tennessee Williams, I don't want Shakespeare.

- Stella! - Okay! Now we're getting...

- Security. Security, no. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Sir, I'm gonna need you to leave, right now.

Come here. Tommy...

Just because you want it doesn't mean it can happen.

Okay? It's one in a million,

even if you have Brando's talent.

It's not gonna happen for you, okay?

- But now you have to go. - Well, maybe I could... Maybe...

I'm not saying maybe. I'm saying not in a million years.

- But after that? - And not after.

- I'm sorry. - I accept your apology.

I'm sorry, sir. Is everything okay now?

Yeah. Thanks for rushing over.

He made it through two fucking acts of Shakespeare.

Tommy?

Tommy.

Tommy.

Tommy, you okay?

- You think I'm villain? - What?

This town, Greg... They don't want me.

They don't understand me. They...

Maybe I don't have what it take.

Yeah man. I know what you mean.

- You do? - Yeah.

My agent won't return my calls and...

All I hear is no, all day, every day. It's...

It's fucking hard, man.

Nobody like me, Greg.

Nobody give me chance.

My whole life.

But... Hey. We can't give up, right?

Maybe not worth it, Greg.

No, hey. Tommy, look at me.

Look at me.

When they told James Dean he wasn't good enough,

did he listen to them?

- No. - No.

No. Fuck that, all right? He kept fighting,

and he showed them all.

And that's what we're gonna do.

Remember?

All right, we said we were gonna push each other.

Never give up on our dreams, right?

Come on.

I just don't know how, Greg.

Wish we could just make our own movie.

That great idea.

It'll be great drama.

Like the Tennessee Williams.

So there this guy Johnny. A true American hero.

To be played by me.

He has it all.

Good look, good job, many friends.

Greg, how long is movie script?

And then this girl, this beautiful girl,

she betray him.

But then this Lisa sleep with best friend.

We call best friend Mark.

After Mark Damon from Talented Ripley Man.

And then this guy Johnny, he go crazy.

He decide to kill himself in front of the world.

And then he show them all.

That's great.

And also maybe Johnny is vampire. We'll see.

"Anything for my princess."

After everything he do for everybody,

why would they do this to him?

My mind! Can't think.

"Two is nice, but three a crowd."

"Two is nice, but three a crowd."

But it's real life. People act so strange these days.

You finished.

This my masterpiece.

Greatest drama since the Tennessee William.

- The Room. - The Room.

Nobody read it yet.

So today, you be first one.

Yeah. All right.

So read it.

Oh, you want me to read it right now?

Yeah, what you think?

Okay. The Room.

I'll do anything for my girl.

You should marry Johnny.

Did you know that chocolate is the symbol of love?

We can't do this anymore.

I keep thinking about your strong hands around my body.

Anyway, how's your sex life?

I don't think she's faithful to me.

Life is complicated. The unexpected happens.

In a few minutes, bitch.

If a lot of people loved each other,

the world would be a better place to live.

Done.

Well what you think?

I mean, it's great. That's...

I just, I can't... I can't believe it, man.

You... You did this!

And of course you play Mark.

You, you want me to play Mark in this?

Hey, big role. Second lead.

Well, yeah, it's a huge role. Are you... Are you sure you...

If you don't want to do it, fine.

Maybe Johnny Depp available.

No, no, no. I want it. I... I want the role.

I'll take it.

It's like you say, Hollywood reject us,

then we do it on our own.

Wait, you... You have the money to make this?

I have. It's no problem.

You're really gonna make this thing?

No, Greg. We are going to do it.

Together.

...and we're gonna have everything you need.

We have a vast assortment of lenses.

We've got cameras, both digital and film.

- Here's our facility owner. - Hey, Bill.

Come on over and meet Tommy and Greg.

These are the guys I was telling you about.

- Oh, hi. - How you doing, man?

Hey, pleasure to meet you.

- How long is the shoot? - As long as it takes.

All right.

We just wanna make it right, you know?

Well, I think you're gonna find everything

you need here at Birns and Sawyer.

Our rental packages start at about...

Wait, wait. I stop you right there.

- Okay. - We don't rent. We buy.

Is that not normal, or...

Industry standard is pretty much that you

would rent the equipment

because it's so prohibitively expensive to own.

Okay. I say no problem.

Okay. I guess we'll buy.

Wanna shoot 35 or HD?

Well, we'll shoot both on this film.

Digital and film?

But you'd need, twice the crew, uh... twice the equipment,

I mean, hell, both...

They're lit differently. It's just not done.

- I have vision. - Tommy's a pioneer, man.

He, that's... He wants to go outside the box.

That's what he does.

So what? We have deal or what?

Uh, let us discuss...

Yeah. Just give us a minute, you know? It's just...

You know, not normally how we do business.

- This is weird. - Who buys equipment?

Apparently this guy.

I don't know about this guy.

Does he have the money?

I don't know if he has the money.

We are a business, we sell stuff, let's sell it to him.

Okay. I have an idea. Follow my lead.

- What are you doing? - Okay, okay.

Okay. So...

We are able to sell you all the equipment you need.

- Okay! - There we go!

Now you say yes.

And we're also

willing to give it to you at a reduced rate,

if you decide to shoot here in our studio.

- What do you think? - We shoot here?

Yeah. We want to be in business with you, Tommy.

Okay. We make American movie with American discount.

- Perfect. - Okay. That's a deal, all right?

- The character is Lisa. - Okay. Is she...

you know, like, romantic, or a scientist, or...

She's Lisa.

- Okay. - All right. Now we do scene.

Okay.

Okay, okay. Well, Johnny should be here any minute.

Now you're riding horse.

Okay. Someone knock on door while you're riding horse.

Who is it?

It's like rain. Like sexy rain.

So, I just want to introduce you to some people.

Raphael, he's one of our most experienced DPs.

- Ah, Director of Photography - Oh, right, DP.

This is Sandy Schklair. He's a script supervisor on...

- How many, Sandy? - Forty-seven shows.

- Oh, wow. So many. - Forty-seven.

That's a lot of movies.

- I'm Lisa. - Oh, that like cowboy.

- She... She's a bit of a cowboy? - No. You do it like cowboy.

I'm Lisa.

I don't want cowboy. You're do like cowboy.

- Are you cowboy? - No.

Don't. Just do the opposite of that.

- Do the opp... - Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Now you're playing saxophone.

Am I still the cowboy?

No. Just play saxophone.

Amy does hair and makeup.

This is Safoya. She does costumes.

What do you think, my character dress like this?

Um... Maybe we can get rid of one of the belts.

What? No. No way. Make my butt look good.

Okay!

Pretend I'm boyfriend.

And... what do you do?

You remember Bill? You know Bill. Come on.

- I sold you the equipment. - Yeah.

- Right. - Bill, I didn't know it was you.

And action.

I'm sorry, my darling.

All right. No. Start it over.

Do it like Shakespeare, but sexy.

Okay.

- Good day, Mark. I misseth you. - That was great!

- Don't break character! - Is Johnny there?

Okay. Everybody hired.

- Just like that? - Yeah.

- Okay. - That was easy.

You wanna, like, talk about the vision of the movie, though?

Don't worry. We have plenty of time. We talk about all this.

As the script supervisor, it would be really helpful

if I could look at the script for the movie first.

Everybody want script. Don't be greedy, okay?

What we do, it's a little unconventional, and so...

Okay.

You're licking ice cream cone.

Okay, but it's really hot out, so it's melting.

- Oh, okay. - You have to lick it.

You better lick fast.

Oh, no. But now it's like brain freeze.

- Too much at once. - Yeah. Get it all.

Yeah, you gotta throw it all in...

Is this a real movie?

- I really wanna be in a... - No. I stop you.

I don't make porno.

- Okay. - I just do ice cream.

- I could try it again. - No. Don't try it again.

You know what, you're hired.

- Aww, thank you so much! - Okay!

♪ Can you feel it, see it, hear it today ♪

♪ If you can't Then it doesn't matter anyway ♪

♪ You will never understand it 'Cause it happens too fast ♪

♪ And it feels so good It's like walking on glass ♪

♪ You want it all but you can't have it ♪

Okay. Everyone, gather around.

Gather around, everyone.

Come on, don't be shy.

Everyone, come in.

I need cast, crew, Marcus. Marcus, come here.

Get in here.

This Marcus. He does video. Behind scenes, okay?

Get me now. Face, and eyes and for speech.

Yeah. Do some movement and stuff.

Okay! Today, our top of mountain day.

Today we take first steps on a great journey.

After today, which one of ourselves will ever be same?

This play work if chemistry between character make sense.

Human behavior. Betrayal. It applies to all of us.

It's in ourselves.

You love someone, what is love?

You need to have spirit. Hope.

Be optimist.

But can you handle all your human behavior

and behavior of others?

Right? Right? See what I'm saying?

You don't wanna be good.

We're gonna be great.

Okay. I have one announcement. This is bathroom.

I spend many dollars on this.

It's for me only. Director only. Okay?

You know there's, like, a real bathroom

with, like, doors and everything right, right there.

This real movie set here. Real movie set.

You know? No Mickey Mouse stuff.

Copy that.

Okay. Enough pet talk. We make movie. The Room.

Yeah, The Room! Let's make a movie!

Okay, let's see what you've got set up over here.

Great. We do alley scene.

This set of the alleyway

looks exactly like the real alleyway out there.

That's right. That's why we doing Hollywood movie, right?

Why don't we just shoot in the real alleyway?

Because it's real Hollywood movie.

- No, yeah, sounds good. - Okay.

We need other camera right now. Right here next to this one.

- Digital camera. - Yeah. Sorry about that. Get the kit.

Let's go, everybody. Come on.

Let's go. It's with Denny and Chris R.

What do I say?

Okay. We go over lines. Don't worry, don't worry.

You deal with the light, I deal with the actor, okay?

All right, people.

You play basketball here.

And this guy come over, Chris R.

Chris R come over and demand money, okay?

Cock sucking motherfucker! Five fucking minutes!

Jesus Christ.

- Fuck you. - You good? Any questions?

Yeah. Uh... How, how old is my character supposed to be?

Like your age. Like 15, 16 year old boy.

I... I'm 26.

Same thing, okay? You look great.

And, and, uh, sorry. Uh...

Can I call him Chris instead of Chris R?

It's just, I don't know why...

No. His name Chris R. You call him Chris R.

Cock sucking motherfucker!

My God, this guy monster.

- Fuck, fuck! - Okay, we go.

And don't be Brando today. You might hurt yourself.

Okay. Okay.

All right. Picture's up.

Let's roll camera, roll sound. Scene 109, take one.

Speed.

Action.

Hey, Denny.

Hey Chris R. I was looking for ya.

Yeah. Sure you were.

- You have my money, right? - You wanna play some HORSE?

I don't wanna play some fucking HORSE.

Where is my fucking money?

It's coming, it's coming.

What do you mean, "It's coming?"

Just give me five minutes.

Five minutes? You want five fucking minutes, Denny?

I don't have five fucking minutes!

Where's my fucking money, Denny?

Tell me where my fucking money is, Denny.

Where's my fucking money, Denny?

- Goddamn it! - No. God, please, no!

- Where is my fucking money? - I don't have any!

Okay, okay!

- Okay, okay. - Cut, cut, cut.

Cut, cut. Oh, my God, man.

Wow. You like monster, right?

- Little boy, you okay? - You okay, man?

- Little boy. - So good!

Oh, man. That's real. That acting like real life.

Great one. Great take, everyone.

Good job. All right.

Action.

Who do you think you are? You're acting like a kid.

- Just grow up. - Hey, who you calling "kid"?

Chill out, Mark. I'm just trying to help.

You're having an affair with Lisa, aren't you?

What?

Okay, cut. Greg, come here. I need to talk to you, okay?

What's going on, man?

- You gotta be aggressive. - I know. I know.

This is your moment. Go to edge of your moment.

All right? Intensity.

- Be aggressive. - Yeah.

- All right. - Great drama.

- Intensity, emotion. - Thanks, Tommy. Thank you. Yes.

Okay. Okay. We go again. We go again.

Okay. Here we go, people.

- Ready? Set. - Okay.

- Ready. - Speed.

And action.

Wait a sec. Who do you think you are?

You're acting like a kid. Just grow up.

Hey, who you calling "kid"?

Look, chill out, Mark. I'm just trying to help.

You're having an affair with Lisa, aren't you?

What?

- I'm right, aren't I? - What?

What are you, nuts?

Cut!

Wow, Greg! Give me five!

- Yeah? Better? - Yeah. So intense!

Next.

Hello. How can I help you?

I'd like to cash this check if, uh, possible.

Okay. Is, uh, 20s okay?

- It went through? - Yeah.

That is shocking. There's actually money in there?

This account?

It's like a bottomless pit.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Tommy? - Yeah.

So, uh... what's the deal?

- Do you work with this guy? - Yeah. He's a filmmaker.

- Oh. - Yeah.

Working with him on a movie right now.

- Okay. - You a movie fan?

- Is it a period piece? - No.

Nah.

More spray. More spray.

You did a great job yesterday.

- Oh, thank you. Thank you. - Hi, Mark.

Oh, hi. Oh, hi, Mark. Hi, Mark.

- Hi, Mark. - Hey, Tommy.

Hi, Greg.

Dude, first day in front of the camera.

How are you feeling? You excited? Nervous?

Nervous? Why you say that? I'm not nervous.

Oh, no. Um...

- Hi Mark. - Oh, just, um...

Man, before my first scene I was like...

- I almost threw up. And it was... - You think I'm nervous?

- Not at all, not at all. I just- - Who says I'm nervous?

Fine. More spray.

- It's gonna look really wet. - No. It's gonna look good.

It look good. I know how it look.

Just wanna say good luck, man. You're gonna do great.

Guys. Uh... We're five minutes away from shooting.

- Great scene yesterday. - Thanks.

Whatever, you do great scene yesterday.

Maybe you think I don't do great scene.

- Tommy, not at all. - Where wardrobe girl?

- I'm sure she's... - Where wardrobe girl?

Right here. Right here.

Where you been? I been looking all over.

I just went to get ties.

We're ready now. Too late. Already dressed.

But none of that matches. I...

Look, it's his first day under the camera. He's just nervous.

Don't talk about me, Greg, I hear you.

Okay, sorry.

I have ears, for your information.

Are you gonna film with all that stuff in your pocket?

I keep my stuff, sweetie.

Okay. Can I at least take a photo for continuity?

Continuity in your forehead.

- What does that even mean? - Don't take it personally.

He's in a crazy space.

We're gonna need five more minutes for lighting.

No. I'm ready now!

Let's go. Let's go, Sandy, come on.

- Ready to roll. Set. Ready. And action. - Let's do it!

What line? What is line?

I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit.

I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi, Mark.

'Kay.

Action.

What is line?

I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit.

I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi, Mark.

Scene 112. Take 13. Mark it. Action.

I did not hit her. I...

Okay. Okay. Line?

I did not hit her.

It's not true. It's bullshit.

I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi, Mark.

Take 17. Action.

I hit her.

No! Do you want to change the line?

Script is script. Script stays same.

You're doing great, man. We'll get there.

Action. Action. Action! Action!

You have to say it loud. I can't hear you in here.

- Say "Action" so I can hear. - Okay.

Action!

I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit.

I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi, Mark.

What the f... Where are you looking?

It doesn't work if you're looking at the camera.

- What? - Take 67. Action.

It's not true. I did not hit her. It's bullshit...

All right. I'm gonna fucking... try something. I don't know.

- Fuck! - Hey, hey, hey.

- What? - Okay, um...

Maybe, maybe just use this.

You know, I think it'll help you take your mind off...

- Water bottle? - Hey, listen, listen.

What do you always say to me, all right?

Intensity. Show emotion. Throw it.

Do something crazy. Use the bottle.

- Oh, show emotion. - Yes.

That's easy part.

Why don't you say that to me before, Greg?

- I don't know. I didn't... - You see, Greg...

These other guys, these other people,

they don't care like you care, you know?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay. We do this together.

- Me and you, man. You got this. - Show emotion.

- Okay. I do it. - Okay. All right.

- All right. - All right, let's see.

Oh, we got a bottle now. Look out.

Action!

I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit.

I did not hit her. I did not!

Oh, hi, Mark.

I got it!

- We got that? - Okay. Moving on now.

Hey, babe.

Hey.

Babe!

Wanna take a break?

- Um... - How's it going?

Are you feeling good?

I am. I am. Yeah. Feels like it's coming together.

- Good. - Yeah.

Tommy is...

- Tommy is... - Settling.

Yeah. He's, he's stressed.

You know? He, he did his first scene,

which, uh, took a million takes.

But, oh, acting it.

But, you know, he's, he's, the director too.

And so that's like...

It's a lot. A lot to think about.

Acting, directing, producing.

So he's doing, he's doing great. He'll get there.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

What do you do if it turns out really bad?

- Like... - It's not gonna be bad.

Like, if it turns out terrible.

- Would you, can you... - That would, that would...

- ...take it off your IMDB? - ...suck but...

But it feels good. It feels good.

And it's, like, you know when it's working or not,

and it's, it's really working.

- Good. - Yeah.

I used to know a girl, she had a dozen guys.

One of them found out about it, beat her up so bad

she ended up in a hospital on Guerrero Street.

- What a story, Mark. - Cut.

Why is he laughing?

- I have no idea. - Weird time to laugh.

Uh...

Why don't we go one more time, and uh,

let's just get a different reaction to the story, okay?

Uh... Let's uh, let's roll with tail slate.

- Rolling. - Okay.

- Everyone set? - Yeah.

Ready, and, uh, action.

I used to know a girl, she had a dozen guys.

One of them found out about it, beat her up so bad,

she ended up in a hospital on Guerrero Street.

- What a story, Mark. - Cut!

Oh, God. Okay. Uh...

Hey, uh...

So, the story he's telling you,

- the one you yourself wrote. - Yeah?

It's not a funny story, Tommy.

Yeah. I thought, I thought this was a serious scene, Tommy.

- Yeah. Why are you laughing? - Okay.

Well, sometimes people do crazy things. Right?

Human behavior.

Okay, fair enough. Maybe just get one

where you don't laugh at the story. Okay?

- Okay. Okay. - Okay.

- Okay? - Yeah.

Okay, we still rolling?

We're still rolling.

- Okay, we're set. - Okay, we'll pick it up.

- Go. - All right. Set speed.

Ready, and action.

I used to know a girl, she had a dozen guys.

One of them found out about it, beat her up so bad,

she ended up at a hospital on Guerrero Street.

What a story, Mark.

- Cut! - He's not gonna listen to you.

We're gonna be here all night. Just call it.

All right. Cut, check it. Great. I think we got it.

Okay, great. Check gate.

It's human behavior.

He knows nothing about filmmaking.

He's a complete idiot. I don't even think he's seen a movie.

He's clearly never been on a set before.

What? Have you ever heard about someone

producing, directing...

This guy doesn't know anything.

Talking all the time.

Who gives this guy money?

Oh, I don't even want to get into that.

That's something I don't even want to probe.

Oh, wow.

I love burrito.

Uh, Tommy. So, um...

The reason we brought you here

is because we've, we've been talking,

and... we decided that we want to move in together.

Oh...

I sorry.

Impossible.

I have no room for three people in my place.

Oh, no. That's, that's not what I mean. Um...

No, Greg's gonna move in with me.

Yeah...

What?

Well, you, you know. We've been going out

for a little while now, and it just...

Kinda felt like the right next step.

The right time.

Exactly.

What about movie?

What about it?

What... Living together and the movie

have nothing to do with each other.

Oh.

Tommy, I'll, I'll see you on Monday.

I'll be there.

I have to go to bathroom.

Wait. Tommy, Tommy.

Dude, just cause I'm moving out

doesn't mean we're not gonna see each other anymore.

It's all right.

It could've been worse, I guess.

Yeah.

Everybody betray me!

Oh, my foot.

I hurt my foot.

Just another day at the office.

- Can you not right now? - I need more lights over here.

- You, help him, you, too. - Greg.

I need this look like Titanic.

- The Titanic? - Yeah, that one.

- Yeah, yeah, trust me. It does. - Okay.

- Okay, okay. We go. - Tommy, Tommy,

this is not necessary.

Ver... Very necessary. Very...

I need to show my ass to sell this movie.

- That's not true... - At least we have a closed set.

Not closed set. Open set. Life is not closed set.

I want everyone to see. You especially.

Wh... Why? What?

Brad Pitt do this in The Legend of the Fall.

Julie, are you okay?

Could we maybe just put on some music to get in the mood?

Like maybe a little Alicia Keys...

I'm sorry, we're not here to promote

other people's work. All right?

We go. Okay? Rolling?

Wait. Wait. Wait. Cut, cut. What is this?

- What is this? This disgusting? - It's my body.

No, this, pimples on the... Makeup!

Makeup, come fix this disgusting body.

Tommy! Stop it. What the fuck?

Juliette, I'm so sorry. I'm so...

Dude, what... What are you doing? Why are you acting like this?

This American movie. She need to look sexy. Beautiful

- Come here. Come on. - What?

- Fuck, man. - I know I'm hard on her.

Yeah you're hard... It's not just that.

What's going on with you?

Stanley Kubrick. He nice to actor?

Alfred Hitchcock? Let me tell you something, Greg.

He do this movie, Birds.

Yeah, I'm aware of The Birds.

On this movie, he terrified the actors.

- He locked them in rooms. - Tommy...

He throw birds at them. Real birds!

Nasty stuff.

The actors, they cry every day.

This movie win every award. Is Mr. Hitchcock bad man?

No. He great director!

Yeah, but he was an asshole

and I bet he didn't direct with his fucking dick out.

Oh, really? Well, maybe we check the record, okay?

You know, for your information,

the word director come from dictator. Rest my case.

You can't treat them like this. It's not right.

I treat them how I treat them.

If anyone needs to be upset here,

- it's me, quite frankly. - What?

I give them job. I give them salary.

I already spend five million dollar on this movie, Greg.

Five... Are you kidding me? Five million dollars?

And they are not grateful.

Nobody respect my vision.

I know what they say, Greg, I hear them.

Nobody trust me. Not even you, Greg!

- That's... What are you... - See, you don't even trust me.

- Hey, Tommy, Tommy, hey! - Let's go! Let's go.

- Be nice to her! Be nice to her! - Juliette, let's go.

- Let's go. - Juliette. Hey, hey...

If you're not comfortable, tell me, okay?

- I can do it. It's fine. - All right, roll it.

Ready, and action.

I think you're aiming a little bit high.

I aim where I aim. Just do the scene.

Why is he having sex with her bellybutton?

Oh, my God.

He knows where her vagina is, right?

Okay. Cut. I need more passion. And this, this still disgusting.

- You don't clean it. - Fuck that, okay.

You embarrass that girl in front of the entire crew,

you're a dead man.

Oh, really? I'm dead man, I'm dead man?

Everyone, everyone calm down. Jesus. Come on.

Juliette, you need a break. Take a break.

I'm okay.

She okay.

All right, well, I need a break.

- Then you're fired! - What?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I know what you say. I hear you. And you.

And you, and you. I hear everybody.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wh... What the fuck are you talking about?

Where Marcus? Marcus!

Marc... Film, now.

This Marcus. I hire him to documentary

the making of The Room.

He capture every comment. "Oh, yeah, Tommy weird."

"Tommy like Frankenstein." "He like...

He like vampire rapist."

I hear everything!

I have ears everywhere!

I hear your whispers in your souls!

- You're on my planet! Okay? - Wait, wait.

So you've been spying on your entire production?

- Yeah, that's right. - That's fucking crazy.

That how it is. So now you know. Next time you make laughter,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...

I don't care who you are, you're out on street.

What about me? Am I still fired?

All right, I give you one more chance.

Take three's up.

Let's go. Make sure you see my ass.

- See you at the car? - Okay.

Tommy.

Tommy, we're leaving.

I feel like, um...

I feel like we should at least talk about this.

Look at my arm.

Not bad.

Look like big strong kid.

Yeah, man.

All right. I'll, uh... I'll see you.

I haven't seen any water. I'm pretty sure that's illegal.

- Yeah, fuck this place. - There's no AC in here.

He's too fucking cheap.

Nobody wants to help me.

And I'm dying.

Hey. It's like 100 fucking degrees in here.

He show up yet?

No. I wish. Hey, guys, if he doesn't get here soon,

I just say we call lunch.

What do you say?

- Lunch! - Yeah.

- You wanna just keep rehearsing? - Sure, sure.

- Um... - Um, you're not dying, Mom.

I got the results of the test back.

I definitely have breast cancer.

- Hi, everybody. - Oh!

- Hey, you're here. - Hey, everybody. Here camera.

Okay, you ready?

Where have you been, man?

Where have I been? You know,

just getting ready in my apartment.

I live there alone now.

- Tommy. - Yeah, question?

Does this come back?

What are... What she talking about?

This story line.

- The breast cancer. - Breast cancer? No. It's twist.

So it never comes back?

I don't have time to explain script to you, okay?

What is this makeup? You look like you're swimming in lake.

- It's 100 degrees in... - Makeup!

Tommy! If you're not going to pay for air conditioning

you at least have to pay for water.

Yeah, could we just have a little

bit of water before the scene? I...

Okay I stop you. I stop everybody right there, okay?

Nobody in Hollywood will give you water either, okay?

That's not true. Dude, we can't work like this.

I'm not Santa Claus, all right?

Maybe you go buy water for everybody, Greg.

Okay? Maybe girlfriend bring you water or something.

We gotta get going, okay? We're already four hours behind.

- Okay, well, whose fault that? - Yours.

- My fault? - You're late every goddamn day.

All right, that your five cents.

- I'm fucking director. - Exactly.

- Exactly! - Exactly!

Exactly. Turn these lights on right now!

If I turn on the lights, it's gonna get hotter.

- Be professional, do your job. - You do your job!

Tommy, it's hot enough as is.

Greg, so you know about light too?

Huh? You know everything.

Huh? You know water, light, girlfriend.

Oh, my God! Carolyn just fainted!

- Hey, hey. - Tommy, please get

her some water.

Tommy, get some fucking water. Come on.

- Carolyn? Carolyn. - What she doing, taking nap?

She's not taking a fucking nap,

you fucking idiot. She passed out.

She's not dead. No. I can feel her heartbeat.

It's not 'cause water. It's 'cause she old lady.

Tommy, please!

You know what, that's it. I'm pulling the plug.

Turn off the lights.

Open the doors. That's lunch. I'm cooling it out in here.

She okay? Can we get the medic?

Turn off these lights!

The best thing I can say about this is nobody will ever see it.

We can walk off. We can walk off...

I'm just tired is all.

I haven't been sleeping well recently.

- I'll be fine. - Hey, can I ask you something?

Why, why do you do it?

You have a husband and grandkids.

You live 50 miles from here,

and you wake up at 5:00 am to drive all this way.

For what?

We're actors, Greg. You and me. People like us.

Even the worst day on a movie set

is better than the best day anywhere else.

Hey, Greg.

Can we ask you something?

- Yeah? - What is this movie about?

- I have a theory. - Oh?

Autobiographical.

Someone in his life was a Denny,

a kid brother he was always looking out for.

Someone was a Mark.

A better looking friend he was always jealous of.

I'm sure there was a Michelle and a Mike.

So, does that mean there's a Lisa?

Somebody who broke his heart?

Stabbed him in the back and ruined his life?

Well, that's pretty obvious to me.

That's the universe.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's Bryan fucking Cranston.

Oh, hey, I know him.

Oh, yeah, no shit. Malcolm in the Middle.

No. From Pilates.

- Brian! - What are you... Wait!

- Hi! - Amber! How are you?

- So good to see you. - You too.

This is my boyfriend, Greg.

- Hey, Greg, how are you? - Good, yeah.

Greg is also an actor.

- You are? - Yeah.

Cool. Anything I would have seen you in?

- Ah, no. I doubt it. - Well, you know, it's a journey.

Are you working on anything at the moment?

Yes, yeah, actually I'm, I'm doing this movie.

- Movie? Nice! - Yeah.

Yeah, but, you know, I'd love to do TV at some point.

Yeah, you know. Sitcoms, drama, cop shows,

Yeah, you name it, I would doit.

It's funny you mention that.

'Cause, um... I'm directing an episode of Malcolm right now.

Next week we're shooting a scene where the boys get lost,

and Hal and Lois have to go find them in the woods,

and we're having trouble finding this lumberjack role.

And you got this this beard. What do you think?

You wanna, you wanna do it?

Are you serious?

Yeah, well, you know, everybody needs a break.

A... Are you good?

- I should've asked that first. - Yes, yes, no.

He's very good.

Listen man, I'm sorry, I'm freaking out a little bit.

I'm a big fan.

- This is like, it's crazy. - All right.

All right. You and the beard next Tuesday and Wednesday.

I will be there.

Great to see you!

- Thank you, man, seriously. - You're welcome.

- See you next week. - Thanks, thanks again.

Okay, I'm set.

Action.

Screw the whole world!

Why?

Why? Why is this happening to me?

Why?

God, forgive me.

Why is he getting back up?

- Cut. - No. Don't cut. Don't cut.

Why you cut, Sandy? This is great. This real acting.

If you're gonna writhe around with the dress,

maybe do it before you shoot yourself

in the head and blow your brains out.

I disagree.

We go. Okay. Still rolling. Here we go.

And action.

I wanted to keep that dress.

You can never wear that dress again.

Okay. Now I do kill part.

Oh, great, yeah. Let's cover that again.

Give me countdown.

Three, two, one, bang.

Wow.

- Cut. - And cut.

- I think we got it. - I guess so, yeah.

Get me a C-stand over there, please.

Dude, that was, amazing.

- You think so? - Totally. Yeah.

It was... It was raw... and intense.

And, yeah, you really brought it, man. Seriously.

- Thank you. - So, uh...

So listen. I know, I know this is last minute, but, um..

I just wanted to talk to you about something real quick.

What is it, Greg? You can see I'm very busy right now.

Yeah. Yeah, um... So, so you know how

the big beard shaving scene is tomorrow?

- Yeah, I know the schedule. - Right.

So I was just... I was hoping that we can maybe

move it to next week.

And that I can maybe get the day off tomorrow.

Why? You sick?

Oh, no.

Greg, I can't afford you get sick right now.

You're lead actor, I'm director.

I feel great, man. It's not that.

- I feel great. - Why, why? Why you need day off?

I, I actually... I landed a small role in a TV show.

It's, uh, Malcolm in the Middle.

You're movie actor now.

Why you do this, this TV?

Well, it's... It's kind of a big show. It's...

You know, it would be great exposure.

It would be like a really good

stepping stone for my career, I think.

What you do in this Little Malcolm?

I'm, I'm playing, like, a lumberjack.

And, um... That's why the beard...

That's why I need it.

Uh, which is why I can't shave tomorrow.

But if we, if we just move the schedule

just like a day or two, it would...

It would really mean a lot to me.

Oh, I'm sorry, Greg. I can't help you.

- What... Why? What? - Clean-shaven Mark.

You know, he make grand entrance at beginning of third act.

Very important. It's metaphor.

I know. I know. But we can just, we can do it next week.

- It's not a big deal... - No, I can't, Greg!

- Impossible. I'm sorry. - Tommy.

I can't give you special treatment, Greg.

What? I can't give special treatment to everybody.

Everybody here working hard.

One favor. I'm just asking for a tiny favor, as a friend.

- Favor, favor. - Yes.

Favor. You always ask for favor.

This is one tiny thing, that's it.

I take you to Los Angeles, give you place to stay.

I write you this part.

I do this whole movie for you, Greg.

What? You did it for me? Come on, man.

For us. We do it together.

Okay. Yes. It's our movie. It doesn't change that.

- Don't betray me, Greg. - I'm not betraying you.

What I say, we do this together.

We do this together and now you betray me.

I'm not...

So are you gonna let me do it or not?

Not up to me, Greg. It up to you.

You have to choose.

You do this TV show Little Malcolm

or you do the movie.

Our movie, Greg.

Greg.

- I... - Unbelievable.

She had to go?

- Whoa! - Wow.

Hey, guys. You like it?

- Yeah. - You look great.

Look like... Baby Face.

You guys wanna play some football?

In tuxes? No, you gotta be kidding.

- Mark, come on, let's do it. - I'm up for it.

- Johnny? - Ask Peter.

Peter, come on.

- No. I don't think so. - Please.

- No. - Come on!

Cut.

You good, Tommy?

Yeah. Good day, everybody. See you tomorrow.

All right. Great job.

I don't believe it.

Let's go to a bar and erase the memory of today.

- Hey, Sandy, Raphael. - Yep?

Can I talk to you minute?

Road trip.

San Francisco, here we come.

Hey, who are these guys?

Oh, that's Todd, that's friend of Todd.

And... other friend of Todd

Where's Sandy and Raphael?

Uh... It's over for those guys.

Did you fire them?

Who's to say? Come on, forget about them.

- Why? - We have Todd now.

Look, it's gonna be like the old days.

San Francisco. We take stroll down memory lane.

Wait till you see new script pages, Greg. You love it.

Be very dramatic.

Let's do it. Okay, Todd.

Yeah, you put camera there, okay?

Yep. It's here.

Okay, we throw a ball over here.

Come on, Greg. Come on, Greg.

Remember, Greg? We played football.

- First time we met. - Yeah, yeah, I remember.

Okay. Okay. Todd, can you roll it?

Rolling.

- Tommy, what are we doing here? - We do new scene.

About Mark failure.

What?

Mark want to make dreams come true.

And Johnny help him.

- Yeah, I don't think so, man. - Let's do it.

Come on. Take from your real life.

Drop it. Stop. Don't do this.

I'm asking you nicely. Stop it. Drop it.

Remember? You want to be actor, but...

nobody believe in you, Greg.

You know. You're not good enough.

Like, do that. That stuff.

What? No. Tommy, drop it.

Movies are emotion.

Okay, you need to be real for us.

- God. - Look... Greg.

Frankly, you have not been that real the whole movie.

- Now your chance. - Fuck you, Tommy.

No one believe in you, and mom think you're loser.

- Go. - I said no!

Greg, damn it! Why you throw this tricky stuff?

All right, man. You wanna get real?

You wanna get real for the cameras, let's get real.

Hey, you guys getting this?

Yeah? Good.

Let's get real. Where were you born, Tommy?

No... Greg, that not part of scene.

No way. This is your idea.

Where you from? It's a simple question.

- I'm from New Orleans. - New Orleans.

From the bayou.

You guys hear that?

This guy with this fucking accent is from the bayou.

Greg.

Hey, you want an easier question...

Let's see, where does the money come from? Huh?

Greg, stop. This on camera.

I know it's on camera. Just like you want it.

All right. Just tell me this one thing.

How old are you?

- I'm your age, Greg. - You're my age?

You're my age?

- I'm just your friend. - When were you born?

- What year, Tommy? - Same year as you.

Same year as me? There is no fucking way

you're in your 20s, all right?

You are a fucking villain.

Fucking Frankenstein looking motherfucker.

I'm not villain!

I believed in you, man. I trusted you! For what?

Greg.

I gave you everything.

Are you fucking... You ruined everything!

Greg.

You owe me your life.

Man, I don't owe you shit anymore.

All right, and this movie better be fucking awesome.

It will be awesome.

Cut it. Cut it.

Movie over.

Why am I trying to become what I don't wanna be?

What am I doing in an office making

a contemptuous begging fool of myself,

when all I want is out there?

Honey, I am so excited to come see your play.

See? Acting doesn't have to be big movies.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

It's probably better if no one even sees

that thing you did with Tommy, right?

I mean, come on, that thing can't be good.

Greg? Greg?

Hey, good show, guys.

- That was fun tonight, right? - Good job.

All right, see you tomorrow.

Baby Face.

You stalking me now?

You're not that hard to find.

- You watch the show? - No.

You know I don't like comedy.

So how Amber?

I don't know.

She moved to Austin. Didn't work out.

- I'm sorry to hear this. - Yeah...

That why you came here, Tommy? You wanted to talk about Amber?

No. You didn't RSVP.

Yeah. I'm not coming.

And... Honestly, maybe...

Maybe you shouldn't have a premiere at all.

Greg.

We made pact.

Remember?

To never lose sight of our dream.

On Friday, they premiere our movie.

Our movie, Greg.

In real life theater.

I know you don't like me anymore.

So don't do it for me.

Do it for you, Greg.

You finally get to see yourself on big screen.

This was your dream too, Greg.

What the fuck am I doing?

- Can you believe it? - I can't, no.

Here, this for you.

No, you can, you can keep that.

No, don't worry. I made boxes of them.

Okay.

You think Sandy be there?

I don't know.

Holy shit, is this for us?

Yeah, this for us.

Driver, slow down.

Did you get a fucking spotlight?

Yeah, this real Hollywood premiere, Greg.

Raphael, Sandy, Juliette. Everyone's there...

Go, driver, go. Keep going.

- Go, go, go. Keep going. - Tommy, what...

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Tommy Wiseau.

- That was fucking weird. - Yep.

At this point, it would be fucking weird

if he didn't do something that was fucking weird.

Tommy, what the fuck are we doing?

What, we gotta build anticipation.

There not enough people.

Yep.

Greg, we are stars of the movie. We can't be first ones there.

- You're right. You're right. - There not enough people.

Just trust me.

- He's back? - Over there!

Tommy, come on. We're gonna do this, yeah?

It's time.

He's not gonna get out of the car.

The fuck is happening?

Tommy, come on, let's do this.

You ready?

Okay.

Hey, everyone.

Sorry I late. Traffic crazy.

Well, let's go. Let's do it. No one be nervous. Come on.

Let's go. Let's do it.

Come on, Greg.

Very first premiere. You excited?

Yeah, Tommy. Sure.

Hi.

Wow. This is a day I never thought would come.

This is a pretty good turnout, I gotta say.

Wow. So many people.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's packed.

Hey, you played Chris R, right?

- Yeah. - Oh.

I didn't recognize you without the beanie. And the beard.

- Oh. Yeah. - Yeah.

I play the psychologist. Peter.

- I'm in this too. - Oh, cool, man.

I feel like I'm a little overdressed.

No.

Are you kidding me? You're the star of the movie.

If I could have your attention.

Please welcome the writer, director, producer, and star

of tonight's extravaganza.

His name is Mr. Tommy Wiseau.

This my movie.

And this my life.

Uh...

Okay. Be cool.

I'm so nervous.

Okay, let's begin.

- Two title cards. Great. - I have two logos.

I noticed. Yeah.

Hi, babe.

I have something for you.

- What is it? - Just a little something.

Johnny it's beautiful, thank you.

Wow.

You look so sexy Lisa.

Isn't it fabulous?

I would do anything for my girl.

Oh, hey, guys.

Oh, hi, Denny.

Wow. Look at you.

It's from Johnny.

Anything for my princess.

Okay, I'm ready.

This dress is so pretty.

I can't wait for you to get it off of me.

Okay. Oh, wow.

I just like to watch you guys.

- Oh, Denny, Denny, Denny boy. - I don't like this.

Two's great, but three's a crowd.

Fine. I have homework to do, anyway.

- Bye, lovebirds. - Bye, Denny.

I'm sorry. What's his relationship to you guys?

Oh, no. No, no, no.

- Hi. - Can I help you?

Yeah. Can I have a dozen red roses, please?

Oh, hi, Johnny. I didn't know it was you.

Who doesn't recognize that guy?

- Here you go. - That's me.

- How much is it? - That'll be $18.

There you go. Keep the change.

Hi, doggie.

You're my favorite customer.

Thanks a lot. Bye.

Nobody wants to help me.

And I'm dying.

You're not dying, Mom.

I got the results of the test back.

I definitely have breast cancer.

It never comes back. I don't know why I say that.

Is it just me, or is this kinda bad?

Oh, yeah, it's bad.

It's still going?

Why, Lisa? Why, Lisa? Please talk to me, please!

You're part of my life. You're everything.

You are lying. I never hit you.

You are tearing me apart, Lisa!

Why are you so hysterical?

You understand why? Do you?

Where's my money?

Where's my fucking money, Denny?

You have no idea what kind of trouble you're in here, do you?

- I owe him some money. - What kind of money?

What kind of money?

- Go. - Go deep!

I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit.

I did not hit her.

I did not!

Oh, hi, Mark.

- Don't worry about it, man. - Don't touch me, mother fucker.

Get out.

Stop it!

I'll kill you. I'll break every bone in your body.

Bastard! You betray me. You're not good.

If you'd keep your girl satisfied,

she wouldn't come to me!

Get outta my house.

You couldn't kill me if you tried.

It's not over. Everybody betray me.

I fed up with the world.

Hey, Tommy.

They hate it.

No.

No. They're... They're just laughing.

Yeah. They're laughing.

Laughing at me.

Maybe it's true, you know. Maybe everybody right.

Maybe I just big joke. Ha, ha.

No, Tommy...

I try to open my heart, show them my soul.

And... they just hate me.

Even you hate me, Greg.

Hey, hey, hey.

Listen to me, all right?

All right, that thing out there, that's your movie.

You made that.

All right, like you said, you did that all by yourself.

You know how special that is?

Hey. It's fucking incredible.

How many people can say they have

done something like that?

I don't know.

One thousand.

All right, and yeah.

Maybe it didn't turn out exactly as you hoped.

But just listen for a second.

Sound like they're laughing.

All right, come here.

Look how much fun they're having.

They fucking love it, man.

Why, Lisa? Why, why?

How often do you think Hitchcock got a response like this?

Never.

Greg...

Why you help me?

'Cause we're friends.

Why?

Why is this happening to me? Why?

Here we go. "Why?"

It's over.

God.

Do it!

Do it! Do it!

Tommy!

Get up there. Go, man.

Okay.

Wow.

I'm glad you liked my comedic movie.

Exactly how I intend it.

You know, I have vision for this movie.

But...

I never make this movie...

without my friend.

We followed our dream.

Come down here, Baby Face.

Come on, Baby Face!

I never be able to make this movie without my best friend.

We do it together.

Okay. The Room!

Okay.

- Hi. - Can I help you?

Yeah. Can I have a dozen red roses, please?

Oh, hi, Johnny. I didn't know it was you.

Everything goes wrong at once.

Nobody wants to help me.

And I'm dying.

Stop, no, stop.

I can't talk right now.

Why, Lisa, why, Lisa? Please talk to me. Please.

You're part of my life.

You're everything. I could not go on without you, Lisa.

I mean, the candles.

The music.

The sexy dress. I mean, what's going on here?

You're not dying, Mom.

I got the results of the test back.

I definitely have breast cancer.

You have nice legs, Lisa.

You have nice pecs.

I'm tired. I'm wasted. I love you, darling.

Come on, make love to me.

Come on, you owe me one.

I love you, Lisa.

- Go. - Go deep!

Gee, Peter, you're clumsy.

That's it, I'm done. Good idea, Denny.

I like you. Very much.

Lover boy.

What are you doing this for?

What's the matter?

Don't you like me?

I'm your girl.

Johnny's my best friend.

Right. You're getting married next month, come on.

You're scaring me.

You are lying. I never hit you.

You are tearing me apart, Lisa!

Why are you so hysterical?

Do you understand why?

Do you?

I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit.

I did not hit her.

I did not!

Oh, hi, Mark.

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

♪ The night Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of the night ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of my life ♪

♪ My life Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of my life ♪

♪ You can put some joy up on my face ♪

♪ Oh, sunshine in an empty place ♪

♪ Take me too, turn to And babe I'll make you stay ♪

♪ Oh, I can ease you of your pain ♪

♪ Feel you give me love again ♪

♪ Round and round we go ♪

♪ Each time I hear you say ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

♪ The night Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of the night ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of my life ♪

♪ My life Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of my life ♪

♪ Won't you teach me how To love and learn ♪

♪ There'll be nothing left For me to yearn ♪

♪ Think of me and burn And let me hold your hand ♪

♪ I don't want to face The world in tears ♪

♪ Please think again I'm on my knees ♪

♪ Sing that song to me No reason to repent ♪

♪ I know you wanna say ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

♪ The night Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of the night ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of my life ♪

♪ My life Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of my life ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

♪ The night Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of the night ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of my life ♪

♪ My life Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of my life ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

♪ Rhythm of the night ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

♪ The night Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of the night ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of my life ♪

♪ My life Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of my life ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

♪ The night Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of the night ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of my life ♪

♪ My life Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of my life ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

♪ The night Oh, yeah ♪

♪ The rhythm of my life ♪

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

Hey, how you doing?

Hi. Yeah, I'm fine. Why you ask?

Why you standing against the wall?

Look, I'm just a guy leaning against wall, no big deal.

Why you so lonely? Tell me.

What, I'm just standing here alone. Don't mean I'm lonely.

You need help. I... I see it.

It's not pity party. This just party.

- You wanna go with me? - Go where?

My house.

I'm not going anywhere with you.

You think you have long hair, you own the world?

That's the idea?

I stop you. I stop you right there.

What is this accent? It sound familiar.

- You from New Orleans? - Yeah. So what?

- So what? - What parish?

- Chalmette. - I love New Orleans.

- You know where Chalmette? - Yeah.

Okay, cool.

You want a drink or something?

No. I'm not... I'm not thirsty either.

I just want to stand here.

What's your name? Tommy, right?

Yeah. My name Tommy with capital go away.

It's okay. Have a nice one.

- Okay? - Okay.

Okay. Bye.

'Kay.

People are very strange these day.

Oh, hi, Betty.

My God.

What these friends Greg have.

Subtitles by explosiveskull Resync by GoldenBeard