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1
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Don't you know that Android tablets
are way cheaper than iPads?
2
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(Ian) SHUT UP!!!
3
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(munching)
4
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Ian!
5
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IAN!
6
00:00:09,967 --> 00:00:11,057
(testily) What?
7
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Dude, you gotta try some of these chips.
8
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They're SO awesome.
9
00:00:13,615 --> 00:00:14,967
Aw, man, I love carbs
10
00:00:14,967 --> 00:00:17,165
but I've kinda got a date coming over.
11
00:00:17,165 --> 00:00:18,277
(scoffing)
12
00:00:18,767 --> 00:00:20,313
You, uh, look at your face?
13
00:00:20,773 --> 00:00:22,622
No... why would I--
14
00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:24,401
OH GOD!
15
00:00:24,401 --> 00:00:25,853
Yeah, it's f*cking disgusting.
16
00:00:28,573 --> 00:00:29,484
Hmm.
17
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(ding)
18
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(beeping)
19
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(munching)
20
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Nice!
21
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:37,977
(doorbell rings)
22
00:00:38,447 --> 00:00:40,212
Okay, how do I look?
23
00:00:41,532 --> 00:00:42,500
Honestly?
24
00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:46,612
Yeah, it might help if
you didn't look so... girly?
25
00:00:48,552 --> 00:00:49,683
You're totally right.
26
00:00:50,293 --> 00:00:51,427
Luckily, I got this.
27
00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:52,422
(camera shutter snaps)
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(plunk)
29
00:00:55,953 --> 00:00:56,862
(whump!)
30
00:00:56,862 --> 00:00:57,962
Oh my god!
31
00:00:57,962 --> 00:01:00,481
Oh, I'm so fricking manly now.
32
00:01:00,481 --> 00:01:01,747
Thanks, man.
33
00:01:04,517 --> 00:01:05,504
(hacking)
34
00:01:05,764 --> 00:01:06,767
Are you Ian?
35
00:01:08,047 --> 00:01:08,781
♪ (horror music) ♪
36
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Man, Tinder always f*cks me in the butt!
37
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(woman groans)
38
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(ecstatically) Hi, Ian!!!
39
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Ugh, no.
40
00:01:16,742 --> 00:01:17,896
(woman yelps)
41
00:01:18,626 --> 00:01:20,312
Hey. What's up, handsome?
42
00:01:20,912 --> 00:01:23,898
Hey, what's up yourself... handsome?
43
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So... tell me...
44
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do you like to do sex?
45
00:01:31,891 --> 00:01:33,479
♪ Yankee Doodle went to town ♪--
46
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GODDAMN IT, PANDORA!
47
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This place is really nice.
48
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Your face is real nice.
49
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Ian, your pick up lines suuuuck!
50
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Yeah, uh, shut your fricking face.
51
00:01:44,043 --> 00:01:45,020
(muffled screams)
52
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What's wrong with your black friend?
53
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,579
Uh, what black friend?
54
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(muffled groan)
55
00:01:49,454 --> 00:01:51,945
Are those chips? (gags)
56
00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:53,361
I hate carbs.
57
00:01:53,831 --> 00:01:55,275
Yeah, me too.
58
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This is a no-carb household!
59
00:01:57,291 --> 00:02:00,174
Get outta here, you stupid little carby carbs.
60
00:02:00,744 --> 00:02:02,022
(grunts)
61
00:02:02,312 --> 00:02:04,071
- (giggles breathlessly)
- Come on.
62
00:02:04,411 --> 00:02:07,624
(French accent) An unspecified
amount of time later.
63
00:02:12,084 --> 00:02:13,768
Well, this is fricking boring.
64
00:02:14,778 --> 00:02:16,237
Want to count how many nipples we have?
65
00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:17,550
I'll start.
66
00:02:17,550 --> 00:02:19,854
One, two...
67
00:02:20,114 --> 00:02:20,972
(camera shutter snaps)
68
00:02:20,972 --> 00:02:22,035
Three...
69
00:02:22,035 --> 00:02:23,782
(inflation noises)
70
00:02:23,782 --> 00:02:25,087
Wha--?! What?
71
00:02:25,087 --> 00:02:25,849
(chuckles evilly)
72
00:02:25,849 --> 00:02:27,309
Yes!
73
00:02:27,309 --> 00:02:29,065
What the hell is happening to my ta-tas?
74
00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:29,901
(evil chuckle)
75
00:02:29,901 --> 00:02:31,438
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
76
00:02:31,438 --> 00:02:32,873
OH-HO-HO-HO!
77
00:02:32,873 --> 00:02:35,011
AAAAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!
78
00:02:35,011 --> 00:02:37,106
(Anthony) Ian! You have to stop this.
79
00:02:37,106 --> 00:02:39,301
Dude, I'm worried about you.
80
00:02:39,301 --> 00:02:40,688
Yeah, it was fun at first
81
00:02:40,688 --> 00:02:42,559
but now you're becoming power-hungry
82
00:02:42,559 --> 00:02:44,967
and you're spiralling on a deep, dark hole.
83
00:02:46,257 --> 00:02:47,096
(nonchalantly) Mmm.
84
00:02:47,096 --> 00:02:48,183
(snipping)
85
00:02:48,183 --> 00:02:50,138
(chopped up) I'm hungry for a deep dark wet hole.
86
00:02:50,138 --> 00:02:51,684
Stop messing with my words!
87
00:02:51,684 --> 00:02:52,472
Uh, what?
88
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:54,632
(chopped up) Stop messing
with my deep dark wet hole.
89
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,478
I'm serious! STOP!
90
00:02:56,478 --> 00:02:58,254
Oh, do I hear a song coming on?
91
00:02:58,254 --> 00:02:59,225
♪ I'm hungry, hungry ♪
92
00:02:59,225 --> 00:03:00,544
♪ For a deep dark wet hole ♪
93
00:03:00,544 --> 00:03:01,542
♪ I'm hungry, hungry ♪
94
00:03:01,542 --> 00:03:03,057
♪ For a deep dark wet hole ♪
95
00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:04,066
STOP!
96
00:03:04,066 --> 00:03:05,074
(crunching noises)
97
00:03:05,074 --> 00:03:06,119
Dude!
98
00:03:07,109 --> 00:03:08,252
(gasps)
99
00:03:08,252 --> 00:03:10,292
You cracked the screen.
100
00:03:10,292 --> 00:03:12,795
Damn it, dude, you shoulda had a case on it!
101
00:03:12,795 --> 00:03:13,539
Oh, pfft!
102
00:03:13,539 --> 00:03:15,582
Dude, those are so ugly and bulky!
103
00:03:15,582 --> 00:03:16,755
- (loud rattling)
- (Ian screams)
104
00:03:16,755 --> 00:03:18,672
Dude, we'd better get that thing fixed!
105
00:03:18,672 --> 00:03:19,478
What?!
106
00:03:19,478 --> 00:03:20,994
Dude, nobody gets things fixed.
107
00:03:20,994 --> 00:03:23,538
They just throw them out and buy a new one!
108
00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:27,244
Damn our stupid wasteful society!
109
00:03:28,144 --> 00:03:31,494
(Anthony) And damn you,
spinning grey loading butt hole thing!
110
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:33,965
(Ian) Oh, it does look like a butt hole.
111
00:03:34,285 --> 00:03:36,540
(Anthony) Click that subscribe
button to get a magic iPad.
112
00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:37,570
You won't really get a magic iPad.
113
00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:38,523
That's because I am a liar.
114
00:03:38,523 --> 00:03:39,989
I have a lying problem.
Please give me therapy.
115
00:03:39,989 --> 00:03:41,501
(Ian) If you wanna see
bloopers from this video
116
00:03:41,501 --> 00:03:44,411
and see how we made those
boobs get so fricking humongous...
117
00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:47,614
(inflating noises)
118
00:03:47,614 --> 00:03:48,866
..click the video on the left.
119
00:03:48,866 --> 00:03:51,866
And if you wanna see what happened
when Anthony got a magic keyboard...
120
00:03:51,866 --> 00:03:53,588
(Ian screams repeatedly)
121
00:03:53,588 --> 00:03:55,915
(screaming speeds up)
122
00:03:55,915 --> 00:03:57,131
..click the video on the right.
123
00:03:57,131 --> 00:03:59,652
And if you're watching this
on a phone or your own magic iPad
124
00:03:59,652 --> 00:04:01,703
all the links are
in the description box below.
125
00:04:01,703 --> 00:04:02,720
Bye!
126
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,239
[captioned by www.facebook.com/subtitleyoutube]
7564
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