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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,234 --> 00:00:03,705 Don't you know that Android tablets are way cheaper than iPads? 2 00:00:03,705 --> 00:00:05,215 (Ian) SHUT UP!!! 3 00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:06,987 (munching) 4 00:00:06,987 --> 00:00:07,918 Ian! 5 00:00:08,898 --> 00:00:09,967 IAN! 6 00:00:09,967 --> 00:00:11,057 (testily) What? 7 00:00:11,057 --> 00:00:12,433 Dude, you gotta try some of these chips. 8 00:00:12,433 --> 00:00:13,615 They're SO awesome. 9 00:00:13,615 --> 00:00:14,967 Aw, man, I love carbs 10 00:00:14,967 --> 00:00:17,165 but I've kinda got a date coming over. 11 00:00:17,165 --> 00:00:18,277 (scoffing) 12 00:00:18,767 --> 00:00:20,313 You, uh, look at your face? 13 00:00:20,773 --> 00:00:22,622 No... why would I-- 14 00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:24,401 OH GOD! 15 00:00:24,401 --> 00:00:25,853 Yeah, it's f*cking disgusting. 16 00:00:28,573 --> 00:00:29,484 Hmm. 17 00:00:29,484 --> 00:00:30,686 (ding) 18 00:00:30,956 --> 00:00:32,125 (beeping) 19 00:00:34,715 --> 00:00:35,713 (munching) 20 00:00:35,713 --> 00:00:36,770 Nice! 21 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:37,977 (doorbell rings) 22 00:00:38,447 --> 00:00:40,212 Okay, how do I look? 23 00:00:41,532 --> 00:00:42,500 Honestly? 24 00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:46,612 Yeah, it might help if you didn't look so... girly? 25 00:00:48,552 --> 00:00:49,683 You're totally right. 26 00:00:50,293 --> 00:00:51,427 Luckily, I got this. 27 00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:52,422 (camera shutter snaps) 28 00:00:52,422 --> 00:00:53,433 (plunk) 29 00:00:55,953 --> 00:00:56,862 (whump!) 30 00:00:56,862 --> 00:00:57,962 Oh my god! 31 00:00:57,962 --> 00:01:00,481 Oh, I'm so fricking manly now. 32 00:01:00,481 --> 00:01:01,747 Thanks, man. 33 00:01:04,517 --> 00:01:05,504 (hacking) 34 00:01:05,764 --> 00:01:06,767 Are you Ian? 35 00:01:08,047 --> 00:01:08,781 ♪ (horror music) ♪ 36 00:01:08,781 --> 00:01:11,406 Man, Tinder always f*cks me in the butt! 37 00:01:11,966 --> 00:01:12,952 (woman groans) 38 00:01:14,362 --> 00:01:15,571 (ecstatically) Hi, Ian!!! 39 00:01:15,571 --> 00:01:16,742 Ugh, no. 40 00:01:16,742 --> 00:01:17,896 (woman yelps) 41 00:01:18,626 --> 00:01:20,312 Hey. What's up, handsome? 42 00:01:20,912 --> 00:01:23,898 Hey, what's up yourself... handsome? 43 00:01:26,308 --> 00:01:27,887 So... tell me... 44 00:01:28,577 --> 00:01:31,721 do you like to do sex? 45 00:01:31,891 --> 00:01:33,479 ♪ Yankee Doodle went to town ♪-- 46 00:01:33,479 --> 00:01:34,771 GODDAMN IT, PANDORA! 47 00:01:34,771 --> 00:01:36,274 This place is really nice. 48 00:01:36,274 --> 00:01:38,212 Your face is real nice. 49 00:01:38,212 --> 00:01:40,724 Ian, your pick up lines suuuuck! 50 00:01:40,724 --> 00:01:44,043 Yeah, uh, shut your fricking face. 51 00:01:44,043 --> 00:01:45,020 (muffled screams) 52 00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:46,193 What's wrong with your black friend? 53 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,579 Uh, what black friend? 54 00:01:47,579 --> 00:01:48,674 (muffled groan) 55 00:01:49,454 --> 00:01:51,945 Are those chips? (gags) 56 00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:53,361 I hate carbs. 57 00:01:53,831 --> 00:01:55,275 Yeah, me too. 58 00:01:55,275 --> 00:01:57,291 This is a no-carb household! 59 00:01:57,291 --> 00:02:00,174 Get outta here, you stupid little carby carbs. 60 00:02:00,744 --> 00:02:02,022 (grunts) 61 00:02:02,312 --> 00:02:04,071 - (giggles breathlessly) - Come on. 62 00:02:04,411 --> 00:02:07,624 (French accent) An unspecified amount of time later. 63 00:02:12,084 --> 00:02:13,768 Well, this is fricking boring. 64 00:02:14,778 --> 00:02:16,237 Want to count how many nipples we have? 65 00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:17,550 I'll start. 66 00:02:17,550 --> 00:02:19,854 One, two... 67 00:02:20,114 --> 00:02:20,972 (camera shutter snaps) 68 00:02:20,972 --> 00:02:22,035 Three... 69 00:02:22,035 --> 00:02:23,782 (inflation noises) 70 00:02:23,782 --> 00:02:25,087 Wha--?! What? 71 00:02:25,087 --> 00:02:25,849 (chuckles evilly) 72 00:02:25,849 --> 00:02:27,309 Yes! 73 00:02:27,309 --> 00:02:29,065 What the hell is happening to my ta-tas? 74 00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:29,901 (evil chuckle) 75 00:02:29,901 --> 00:02:31,438 Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! 76 00:02:31,438 --> 00:02:32,873 OH-HO-HO-HO! 77 00:02:32,873 --> 00:02:35,011 AAAAH-HA-HA-HA-HA! 78 00:02:35,011 --> 00:02:37,106 (Anthony) Ian! You have to stop this. 79 00:02:37,106 --> 00:02:39,301 Dude, I'm worried about you. 80 00:02:39,301 --> 00:02:40,688 Yeah, it was fun at first 81 00:02:40,688 --> 00:02:42,559 but now you're becoming power-hungry 82 00:02:42,559 --> 00:02:44,967 and you're spiralling on a deep, dark hole. 83 00:02:46,257 --> 00:02:47,096 (nonchalantly) Mmm. 84 00:02:47,096 --> 00:02:48,183 (snipping) 85 00:02:48,183 --> 00:02:50,138 (chopped up) I'm hungry for a deep dark wet hole. 86 00:02:50,138 --> 00:02:51,684 Stop messing with my words! 87 00:02:51,684 --> 00:02:52,472 Uh, what? 88 00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:54,632 (chopped up) Stop messing with my deep dark wet hole. 89 00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,478 I'm serious! STOP! 90 00:02:56,478 --> 00:02:58,254 Oh, do I hear a song coming on? 91 00:02:58,254 --> 00:02:59,225 ♪ I'm hungry, hungry ♪ 92 00:02:59,225 --> 00:03:00,544 ♪ For a deep dark wet hole ♪ 93 00:03:00,544 --> 00:03:01,542 ♪ I'm hungry, hungry ♪ 94 00:03:01,542 --> 00:03:03,057 ♪ For a deep dark wet hole ♪ 95 00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:04,066 STOP! 96 00:03:04,066 --> 00:03:05,074 (crunching noises) 97 00:03:05,074 --> 00:03:06,119 Dude! 98 00:03:07,109 --> 00:03:08,252 (gasps) 99 00:03:08,252 --> 00:03:10,292 You cracked the screen. 100 00:03:10,292 --> 00:03:12,795 Damn it, dude, you shoulda had a case on it! 101 00:03:12,795 --> 00:03:13,539 Oh, pfft! 102 00:03:13,539 --> 00:03:15,582 Dude, those are so ugly and bulky! 103 00:03:15,582 --> 00:03:16,755 - (loud rattling) - (Ian screams) 104 00:03:16,755 --> 00:03:18,672 Dude, we'd better get that thing fixed! 105 00:03:18,672 --> 00:03:19,478 What?! 106 00:03:19,478 --> 00:03:20,994 Dude, nobody gets things fixed. 107 00:03:20,994 --> 00:03:23,538 They just throw them out and buy a new one! 108 00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:27,244 Damn our stupid wasteful society! 109 00:03:28,144 --> 00:03:31,494 (Anthony) And damn you, spinning grey loading butt hole thing! 110 00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:33,965 (Ian) Oh, it does look like a butt hole. 111 00:03:34,285 --> 00:03:36,540 (Anthony) Click that subscribe button to get a magic iPad. 112 00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:37,570 You won't really get a magic iPad. 113 00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:38,523 That's because I am a liar. 114 00:03:38,523 --> 00:03:39,989 I have a lying problem. Please give me therapy. 115 00:03:39,989 --> 00:03:41,501 (Ian) If you wanna see bloopers from this video 116 00:03:41,501 --> 00:03:44,411 and see how we made those boobs get so fricking humongous... 117 00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:47,614 (inflating noises) 118 00:03:47,614 --> 00:03:48,866 ..click the video on the left. 119 00:03:48,866 --> 00:03:51,866 And if you wanna see what happened when Anthony got a magic keyboard... 120 00:03:51,866 --> 00:03:53,588 (Ian screams repeatedly) 121 00:03:53,588 --> 00:03:55,915 (screaming speeds up) 122 00:03:55,915 --> 00:03:57,131 ..click the video on the right. 123 00:03:57,131 --> 00:03:59,652 And if you're watching this on a phone or your own magic iPad 124 00:03:59,652 --> 00:04:01,703 all the links are in the description box below. 125 00:04:01,703 --> 00:04:02,720 Bye! 126 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,239 [captioned by www.facebook.com/subtitleyoutube] 7564

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