All language subtitles for Return to Montauk 2017en

My father...

During his last days, demanded

that some philosophy books
be placed on the locker beside his bed.

My father's taught philosophy
as a profession

and read philosophy for pleasure

and I wrote only novels.

He had a right to think that I inhabited
a space filled with banality,

filled with gross inventions,
foolish plot lines.

The next day I went
to my father’s old apartment

and rummaged through the books
in his study.

I found his old copy
of the Critique of Pure Reason

with many notes in the margin

and his thumb-nailed edition
of Plato’s “Symposium”.

I found a fat volume of Hegel

and an untouched edition
of Derek Parfit’s “On What Matters”.

Put them in a pile on the locker
while he was sleeping.

Once when my father opened his eyes
’ ’

I showed him the Parfit
’
which was at the top of the pile

and I pronounced the title in
the best English accent I could manage.

“On What Matters”.

It would be nice to say that he smiled
’

but he did not smile.

Instead he spoke:

Heinrich
’

“Heinrich there are only two things
’
that matter” he said
’ ’

“there is the thing you did
that you regret
’

the thing that cannot be undone
’

and then there is the thing
that you did not do

that you should have done

that you regret too
’

but it’s too late now.

It’s easy to say that these things
do not matter because they’re over
’ ’

but they do.

They are in fact what matters.
’ ’

The things in between
do not matter at all”.

“Is that a quote from a book?”
I asked him.

Suddenly his voice became almost gentle
’

his tone filled with regret as he said
’

“No”

and then repeated the word
’

“No”

on a sigh.

It would be nice to say that

he then turned over died and that “No”
’
was his last word but it wasn't.
’

He lived for 6 or 7 weeks more.

Is that thunder?

In those last weeks my father’s words
’
about what matters hit home.

I almost asked the doctor
if he too indeed if all of us
’ ’ ’

if the nurses and the other patients
’

if the porters and the other visitors
’

if the night cleaners
and the taxi drivers outside
’

if we all had done
one thing in our lives

that we knew was wrong
’

and if we all had one thing
we did not do in our lives
’

which we regretted.

And if these two things became
the story of our lives
’

the story of what matter what matters
’
more than anything else matter
’

or ever will matter.

When my father spoke about what matters
’

an image came to me

and remains with me.

It’s an image of two women
’

one whom I caused harm

and the other whom I failed.

Whom I should not have failed
’

who I should be with now
if I’d been wiser then.

Whom I wonder about still.

Thank you so much Max for giving us
’
despite your jetlag
’

a taste of The Hunter and the Hunted.
- Thank you!

There will be a longer reading
at the public library tomorrow.

Congratulations!

Our publicist has all the details.

It was so great.

So this is my friend Julia.
- Hi Julia. - Hello Max!
’

I really really enjoyed your reading.
’
- Thank you.

So you’re Clara’s guy.

You left her alone all winter
in New York and you weren’t worried?

We can’t wait.
- The performance was profound.

Hm?
- The performance was profound.

Can we go home?

Sure.

I can’t believe it.

Max!

Walter!

Oh! So nice to see you again.

It said in the papers

that you've come to make a presentation.

Yeah tomorrow at the public library.
’

Your mom would be proud of you.

Who is this charming creature?

This is my wife Clara. This is Walter.
’
- Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Will you come to the reading?
- No no no... tomorrow I’m sorry...
’ ’ ’

I've a friend holding a preview
and I promised to go.

Would you care to come with me?

No but I... I have the reading.
’

Yes I know I know.
’ ’

I'm not deaf
’

despite my years. So...

Another book of yours?

Yes a novel.
’

Another fiction?

Truth.

It’s so good to see you
’
it’s been too long.

I’m sure it will be a big success.

Is this the first time you've been back
after so long?

Yes it is
’ ’
or I would have been in touch.

I would love to arrange a dinner for you
and a few friends.

Thank you.
- You call me?

I will.

Goodnight.

You’Il call me?
- I will.

How do you know that guy?

He’s an old friend.
He financed my studied.

He financed a lot of other things too.

He’s the one
who made the big donation to the Met.

There was a dinner for him
and he didn’t turn up.

Someone told me he collected
unbelievable things.

He looks like the kind of guy
who collects dead bodies.

Goodnight. - Bye.
- Goodnight. - Bye.

So this was Walter.

I knew it the minute I saw him.
Every bit the way you described him.

Was he in the room when I read?

Not that I saw.
Maybe somewhere in the back.

He gives me the creeps.

He’s a very gifted man.

It was strange seeing him.

I’m so happy you’re finally here.

Sometimes on the phone

I just couldn’t say that all I wanted
was to get home to you.

I missed you so much
I started to hate you.

I was worried too.

I panicked a few times.

But I knew where you were
and that was the main thing.

How do you know all those people?

That’s part of my job:
marketing advertising...
’

it's all got to do with them.

And even little interns from Germany
get to meet writers.

You looked fantastic.

Did I?
- Yes you did.
’

Yes.

I love you. You know that.

Two-fifty?

Twice as much as last time.

So we got you a phone
and I programmed some numbers in it
’

as you'll see...

Thank you.
- Yeah. Hello?

Hello.

OK... so...

A lot of demands for interviews...
After a short press release.

Keep it to a minimum.

You being here
will make a lot of a difference.

I’Il do my best.
Don’t give my number to anyone.

What about personal calls?
Friends and family?

No I don’t have any.
’

Well there’s Mr. Walter.
’

Yeah. He’s the exception.

Could you call him
and invite him to the reading.

I know he won’t come
but ask him for Rebecca’s number.

Rebecca?

Yeah he’Il know.
’
It’s an old friend I want to invite.

Is Clara coming down?

There she is.

Good morning Lindsey.
’
- Good morning. - Good morning.

How are you?
- Good! How are you? - Thank you.

He loves your work.

...after this message,
we'll be talking with

the Scandinavian author Max Zorn.

Mr. Zorn.

How did you know?

Well I was told to look for a gentleman
’

with the distinction
of a European antique dealer.

Right this way.

Now might be a good moment
to call Walter.

Mr. Zorn as an intellectual
’ ’

a poet a playwright
’ ’
a novelist living in Berlin
’

let me ask you
’

do you believe that Europe will collapse

as soon as many commentators
are suggesting?

Europe is a is a culture
’
before it’s an economy

and that’s something the Americans
have problems understanding.

Maybe because it’s a complex culture.

Our stories are anti-heroic.

If we see someone in power
or a political leader we laugh
’ ’

because self-deprecation
is our first gear.

Our stories are filled
with idiots and fools

and chancers and losers.

Pinocchios and Don Quixotes.

The Emperor without clothes
or Hamlet or Don Juan...

and that is... that is the bedrock
upon which our house is built.

No matter what happens
in the short term
’

Europe will keep its spirit.

For years you were on the radical side
’
then you campaigned for the Chancellor

and now you support the Greens
and want the borders open even more.

What exactly is your position?

Well I’m not a tree.
’

Excuse me?

A tree has roots it stands
’
in one place it has a position.
’

I’m an animal.

I’m wild I move I change positions
’ ’ ’
I’m flexible.

OK...

So what did he say? - It was awkward.
He had me spell your name.

That’s Walter.

Then he confirmed he would not
be attending your event tonight

and finally...

he laughed out loud
when I asked for Rebecca’s number.

“Miss Epstein Esquire Attorney at law”
’ ’
he said

and asked why you didn’t call yourself.

Mrs. Epstein?

Miss Epstein please.
’

For Mr. Max Zorn.

He’s an author.

She knows him. It’s personal.

Thank you.

Ah Miss Epstein hi.
’ ’

This is Mr. Zorn’s publicist

and he’s in town for his last book
and he’s just wondering

if he could see you?

He’s right here in front of me
if you’d like to talk to him?

Well he’s in town until Tuesday night...

Yes... I understand... Of course.

What’s going on? Why did you do that?

She was about to say no wasn’t she?
’

It’s better the battery went dead.
Do you have her address?

It’s a law firm yeah.
’

Great. Let’s go there.

It’s all the way downtown.
- Yes we’Il take the subway.
’

To do what?
- Pay her a visit.

Now?

Well she’s there now isn’t she?
’

Well you can’t do that.
You won’t get past security.

Z.O.R.N.

I cannot let you through
without a proper appointment.

I know her she’s an old friend!
’
- OK listen just let me handle it OK?
’ ’ ’

Could I talk to her on the phone
’
please? Thank you.

Hi... No yeah... we were just trying
’
to phone about 15 minutes ago

and you know the battery went dead...
’ ’

well you know
’ ’
we were in the neighborhood so...

OK. All right thank you...
’

She said she may come down.
- Fine.

How did she sound?

Brisk.
- Brisk?

Yeah she sounded pretty upset.
’

She wanted me to know she went to Yale.

She said that?
- No she said almost nothing.
’

She did go to Yale.

On a Fulbright scholarship
right after the wall came down.

Straight out of East Berlin
to Manhattan via Yale.

There you have it in a nutshell.

So she’s German?
’

Yeah but I met her in New York.
’
- And you never saw her again?

No. But I looked for her.

You looked for her?

Yes but I didn’t even know
’
if she was still living in New York.

How could I find her
’
her name having changed and everything.

Then I saw Walter.

He knew us when we were together.

Being in the city
’

every street corner reminds me of her.

It’s important.

We didn’t show up well in the end
’
neither one of us.

So she’s the one from the book?

No the book is a novel.
’

Surprise surprise!
’

Hello.
- Hi.

You look exactly as I imagined.

How did you find me?
- Walter gave me your number.

Walter? So you still see him?

Last night I...
one of those coincidences.

I haven’t seen him
for at least 10 years. How is he?

You haven’t?
How come he has your number?

You know how he is.

Mrs. Epstein.

You’re married.

It’s the perfect name for a lawyer
’
especially in New York.

So you really didn’t change.
Still the same old racist.

I... I...I was never racist!

Let’s not argue.

We wanted to invite you to the tonight
’
at the Public.

You’Il be on the guest list.

Your old place Max.
’

Will you come?

Can we meet?

Would be a mistake if we didn’t.

We would regret it.

I have to check my schedule.

I’m working on a very difficult case
right now. I have to work late.

If it were any other time...
this is all a bit sudden.

Wait...

did you have another copy of the book?

Here...

And...

Yeah...This is my card.
And I wrote Mr. Zorn’s number on it.

It’s her address.
Mr. Walter wanted you to have it.

He said he was breaking
all of his rules whatever they are.
’

It was just for you he said.
’

Is Clara your first wife?

Oh no no no no... we’re not married.
’ ’ ’ ’

There have been others?

I mean you’ve been not married
a few times?

The nearly wives.
The ones that got away?

Was Mrs. Epstein one of them?

She might see it that way.

Children?
- A daughter not Clara’s.
’

Clara’s been checking
every detail with your publisher.

She’s putting her soul into this.

The cover the entire campaign...
’
she begged everybody for a blurb.

She went to the hotel to see
if it was OK
’

working like a dog on her internship
’

without pay.

I know. I cannot do without her.

I think my jacket is a mistake.

I know.
- So why did you bring it?

I don’t look like a writer.

Nobody wants to look like a writer.

Do you want to look like one?

Yeah I do.
’
No no I don’t. But...
’ ’

Do I look like a European
antique dealer?

Well like a European antique dealer
’
on a bad day for European antiques.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Oh wow! Look at you!
’

Think it’s all right?
- Absolutely.

We have a car tonight.

It’s your big night.

How are you?
- Very good.

It’s a packed house.
- Yeah!

Oh look who’s here?
’

How is...?
- You are very welcome. Come in.

There are a lot of people here already.

Remember this is the smartest audience
’
you’re ever going to get.

When my father spoke about what matters
and what does not matter
’

an image came to me
’

an image of two women.

One whom I caused harm...

The other who I should be with now
if I’d been wiser then
’

whom I wonder about still
’

I met in New York.

It was a few years
after the wall had come down

and I was happy to get away
from all the agitation of Berlin.

My novel got me a fellowship

and I had a tiny office
at the Public Library.

Yes here upstairs on the 4th floor.
’ ’

I first met her at an art opening
’

or rather outside an art opening
since there were too many people inside.

My friend from the library
with whom I’d come was a smoker
’

so I was standing outside with him.

We watched her arrive
’

we studied her as she saw the crowds
and decided to step back
’

then she turned and smiled at my friend.

She barely looked at me
as she shook my hand.

The following Sunday
’
I watched her a second time

as she arrived at the Alice Tully Hall
’
alone

for the 5 o’clock concert.

I was alone too already in my seat.
’

As she took her seat
’
she looked at me for a brief second
’

but she did not say anything

and I believed
that she did not recognize me.

I liked her.

But before the concert began
she turned and said
’

“You are at the library” and smiled.

“It’s one of the great places”
’
she added.

As the music played
’

I felt a loneliness that was new to me.

I did not want her to leave
at the end of the concert
’

but there was nothing
I could think to say to her
’

so I walked ahead of her
towards the exit

as though I had somewhere to go.

That is how it began.

We soon met again.

We spent many nights together
and whole weekends

and we went out to the country

where the sky was grey and low

and the wind was icy
and the roads deserted.

Maybe that was the best time we had
’

the closest we ever got to each other.

I’m trying not to say

that I loved her more
than I’ve ever loved anyone
’

or ever will.

Words are banal.

They belong to songs and sentimentality.

But what else can I say?

Are there other words that I can use?

Perhaps there’s a need for me to add
that she was

beautiful and original
as well as distant

and intriguing.

I’m not sure these words either
or any other words can help me now.

Now that the time has passed.

She was the great chance I had.

The chance I lost.

The one who mattered.

Over the years
’
she became one of my ghosts
’

until one day I started to think
that I might go to New York again

when a book of mine came out
from a publisher there
’

and see the city again

and maybe run into her

and pretend
that the past does not matter.

And here I am.

Thank you.

Maybe in his next book it will be you.

I hope not.

Could you please sign my book?

It makes a difference if the Hungarians
are actually from Hungary doesn’t it?
’

Brought up there in that culture.

I mean those haircuts.
’

I liked the second violinist
’
but I like them all.

Dedicated. They are dedicated musicians.

My first boyfriend was Hungarian.

I mean not real brought up in Hungary
’
Hungarian. His parents came here in ’56.

He got in touch with me recently.

He has this big Hungarian laugh.
I mean it beats...

So did you meet him?
’
- Wait. He looks really nice now.

He’s thoughtful and skinny now
’
like a Columbia professor.

So you met him.
- Yeah! I met him!

I mean we even...
’

You what?
- Yeah we did!
’

It was nice. It was sweet.

I mean that’s what New York is for.

That is why my rent is so high.

In other places people fade away
’
but here they always come back.

Speaking of old friends coming back
’
I got a call from someone

I haven’t seen in ages.

Where’s he been hiding?

Last time I heard of him
he was in Berlin.

Oh no not German.
’

I don’t do Germans. I never have.

Not that any opportunity
has ever come my way.

I don’t blame you.

I meet him the first time...

no the second time
’

in that hall we were in tonight.

He’s a writer.

He has a reading
at the Public Library tonight.

That’s why we went to the concert.

He has a reading
and we went to the concert?

Is he the one...

It was a long time ago

and I never really got over it.
I know other people do. I didn’t.
’

No one ever gets over anything.

Shall we get one?
- Yeah.

Hi Mr. Zorn. Please for Bill.
’ ’

What a fabulous novel it is too sir.
’

Thank you sir very much.
’

Hello.
- Hello.

Let me see.

I really loved the reading.
- Thank you.

All these guys
want to be David Foster Wallace.

Every one of them. Literally.

So you mean they’d prefer to be dead?

If it meant fame then sure of course.
’
Why not?

Maybe they’d prefer to be Don DeLillo.
- Hey! What are you guys drinking?

This is Sex on the Beach
with an extra twist.

Of what?
- Of moaning.

Are you happy?
- Hey yes.
’

Please join me in raising my glass

to someone
whom I not only consider to be a genius
’

but also my friend.

To Max Zorn.

Thank you thank you...
’

Good job Max.
’
- Thank you.

I’m not sure about your choices though.

Yeah?
- Yeah.

Maybe a bit more tact.

Tact is boring.

Hey up there! Up there! Look!

There’s nothing up there!
- Look over there...

Somebody try this one here.

That’s all it is...

Is it the right street?

Follow the perfume.

Wait...

Henry James once said
’

it is time to start living
the life you imagine
’

but I say it is time
we started living the life we deserve!

Roderick what’s his name
’
what he’s doing?

He does what you all do
’

he makes up stories
and thinks about girls.

Is he good?
- He thinks his stories are good.

He’s probably wrong about that.

He’s not wrong
about the girls.

Have you known him for long?

I’ve done publicity
for a few of his books.

I like him and he’s respected.
- Oh yeah?

Stop it! He’s working with Clara.
He’s doing a great job.

Yeah they’re both doing a great job.
’

Hey stop it. Address further inquiries
’
to Shakespeare and Shakespeare.

This call may be monitored
for quality and training purposes.

Taxi!

Is that him? Your philosopher?

He’s not a philosopher.

It’s 11.45.
It’s 15 minutes past my bedtime.

Let me inspect him.

Don’t be nervous.

I don’t know who he is anymore.
- We’re about to find out.

What for? I don’t know...

I know this makes no sense.

I really don’t want him
calling round like this.

I can guess who gave him the address.

To hell with it. Let me check him out.

You had a reading. How did it go?

This is Rachel my best friend
’
and cat keeper.

Hi.

She does other things too.
I mean in fact she runs the country.
’

Rachel stop staring!
’

Would you like a drink?
- Yeah
’

or maybe I shouldn’t... just coffee
’
that’s fine.

I can make you coffee.

I can also help you
to stop gaping at everything.

How are you going to do that?

By calling for help against a stalker.

I can make some coffee.
You show him around Becky.
’

Is this your place?

No I just come here
’
to do the cleaning at night.

Seriously?

You were never serious when I knew you.

Deep inside I’m serious.

I’m glad I never knew that side of you
’
the one that’s “deep inside”.

I’m glad you kept that to yourself.

Did you buy this place?

Yes. How did you think I got it?

With money you made?
- Money I made.

What sort of law do you do?

I worked for the District Attorney
as a prosecutor.

And then I got hired by a law firm
and moved over to the other side.

Then I got hired by another law firm
’
bigger and better.

If you want to stay out of jail
and have a lot of money
’

at some stage of the game
you spend time in my office.

O.J. Strauss-Kahn cases like that?
’ ’

I didn’t do them.
- But you could have?

It’s more about finance mergers
’
insider trading stuff like that.
’

Madoff.

I don’t discuss clients with strangers.

But you understand all that?

No if I were in trouble I’d hire you.
’

You couldn’t afford me.

You put on weight.

I told the cats you’d be thinner.

Is that why they’re staring so at me?

No.

They don’t like me having
unannounced gentlemen callers at night

Now I get you.

I would go to Syracuse with him
or Boulder Colorado.

I would go to the armpit
of the universe.

I mean he is...
- Sweet and smart. Yeah. - Yeah.

But the nerve to come here at night.

Now don’t stare at him.
- I don’t stare...

What are you two talking about?

I was expecting a big piece
of Wiener Schnitzel to appear

and I am merely expressing my surprise.

Sugar?
- No thanks.

We should all go home and go to bed now.

I’m sure the jetlag caused him to feel
he could come round here this late.

No I’m the one splitting.
’

Nightie night.

Max is staying at the Algonquin.
Would you offer him a ride?

Sure.

Thanks.
- The pleasure is all mine.

Let me ask you something.

Is Rebecca alone?

I mean how does she live?
Is there someone she...

Maybe you should ask her.

I’m asking you.

And what about you?

I’m sure she was happy to see you.
Does that answer your question?

Thanks John.
’
- You’re welcome madam.
’

I hope you don’t mind
but I think I’d rather walk.

Do I scare you that much?

I don’t scare that easy
but I really need it.

The walk the air you know.
’ ’

Jet lag.

Rebecca’s always right.

Good morning!
- Morning.

We almost called the FBI.

Why do you always vanish?

I took a walk I got lost and then
’

finally I took a cab back to the hotel.

We were there until 4 dancing.

Then we went to that other place which
was full of Bulgarians crazy dancing
’ ’

polka and vodka.

What are you thinking?

I am not thinking.

Yes you are. I can hear it.
’

I’m thinking that my wife thinks that
some undereducated American proof-reader

is a fucking guru

and I can smell his idiocy from her

when she comes into the room.

And I missed you
when I got back last night.

I’m here now.

You’re here. That’s what matters.

Listen to this.

Lindsey, this is Rebecca Epstein
with a message for Mr. Zorn.

I have time on Saturday. If he wants
to come, I have to drive somewhere

on the far end of Long Island.

Departure from my place at 11 a.m.

We'll be back late afternoon.

If it's OK, no need to call back.
He knows the address.

She picked Montauk.

The place at the far end.

You are free this weekend.
Shall I pencil in?

Why not?

So what’s up next?
’

Times. A brunch.

And what’s this about Saturday?
- Montauk.

Montauk?

Yeah there’s this place
’ ’
it’s an arts center

with people
he needs to meet.

Oh come on Max please.
’ ’
Julia’s doing a party for us.

I’Il be back in time.

I don’t think I’ve told a lie
for an author or for anyone else

since I started in my job.

I’m sure she noticed.

That’s the last lie I’m telling OK?
’

OK.

And what will happen in Montauk?

I don’t know.

And Clara doesn’t even know she exists.

No she doesn’t. At least I hope so.

Why?

Because I love Clara.
I don’t want to hurt her.

I mean it makes no sense.

Why do you want to see Rebecca
now that you have Clara?

I can’t explain it.

I don’t want to have lost her
’
even though it was long ago.

I do not want to have lost her.

Even when I was in high school
’
if a guy did that...

coming all the way from Europe
and then seeing someone else...

You know what I would do?
- What would you do?

I’d cut his balls off.

Yeah.

Don’t you have
any firm positions anymore?

Yes I do. But I’m...

I’m not a tree. It has roots. It stands
in one place it has a position.
’

I’m an animal.
I'm wild I move I change position.
’ ’

I’m flexible.

...still don’t change their way
of treating economy.

Because the power is...
Financial power...

Walter! Are you following me?

No it's pure coincidence.
’
I lunch here almost every day.

I really want you to come to my home.

Bring your wife!
- OK.

I’m very lonely you know.
’

You live alone?
- Yes.

New York is a city
that's conducive to solitude.

At least that's how I conceived it.

You designed the city?

Yes why not!
’

So it's a promise? See you soon.
- OK.

I have the painting for you.

The Paul Klee?

I’m seeing Walter for lunch on Monday.
Monday.

I’Il put it in the schedule.

He wants you to come along as well
’
and Clara.

Great. I can’t wait
to see his collection... of dead bodies.

This jacket is completely wrong.

You know it’s special.
’

No Walter he introduced me to art
’ ’
and to literature.

As a student
I admired him beyond reason.

I was intimidated.
I...

I needed someone to watch over me.

That’s Walter for you.
- Here we are.

When I began to write
and publish my first things

in newspapers
and even my first novel
’

he dismissed it.

He said “Anybody could do that!”
’

But in French.

It’s not that she’s neglecting her kids
’

it’s more that she’s so stressed
and in pain

that she can’t really let them
into her life.

The book is about his mother.

You know I could put this up for you.
’

Oh I don’t know.
’

I was never the right shape for clothes.
- But you are...

your shoulders are perfect! Look at you!

Thank you. Well OK.
’

May I?

Voil`a.

Walter had a house in Tuscany and
at the end of summer a woman came.

Since Walter didn’t sleep with her
it seemed natural that I would
’

even though she was older than I.

They break in all the time.

They stole my flat screen.

You have to put on the pants.

How much rent do you pay for this?

Fifteen.
- Out of...?

You don’t want to know.

After lunch one day Walter fell asleep.
’

He looked like a lizard

in repose with his mouth open
and his eyes closed.

She looked at him

and then she looked at me like a child
’

moving towards something sweet
and forbidden.

I believe even when she removed
his wallet from his inside pocket
’

and looked at me again
’
her face full of mischief
’

she had no idea what we would be doing
’

and smiled at me again
as if she’d done something brave

as she handed me the credit cards.

Then she put her finger to her lips
and...

We stole out of that house with nothing.

No luggage no guilt either.
’

Only at the railway station as I
’
had to queue for an overnight sleeper
’

did I worry about getting caught.

But the thought of fucking her as
the train crossed the Apennine mountains

and then fucking her again in daylight
on the way to Venice

with the blinds open
and the peasants working outside

and then fucking her again in Venice
with the water lapping outside
’

it removed all thoughts
of guilt or fear.

You could have gone to jail.

Lindsey
’
this may just be a story I made up.

Never believe anything writers tell you.

Fucking her on the train with the blinds
open you couldn’t have made that up.
’

It’s a nice place in Brooklyn
and we planned it so you would be there.

When are you coming back?
- In time for the party I hope.
’

It’s just a panel... talk talk talk...
’ ’

When are you leaving?
- I don’t know.

I have to call Lindsey.

She’s a busy girl Lindsey.
’

I don’t know
how she puts up with all you guys.

Just don’t be too late.

Ciao.
- Ciao.

They know I’m going
’
I told them earlier.

I snuck my bag down to the car but they
’
spotted me and suspected something.

So I came clean and I told them.

What are they called?

Crosby Stills and Nash.
’

Oh the band?
’

Wasn’t there a 4th member?

Who’s a clever boy?

What happens if one of them dies?
It won’t be the same.

One of them won’t die.

I forgot
’

it’s America!

Well they do look like
’
a bad rock band all right.

This scent your perfume
’ ’
I can’t trace it.

I don’t wear perfume.
It must be the soap.

What soap is it?

It has no name.
I have it specially made.

What?

Yeah you heard me.
’

It’s a little lesbian lady and another
little lesbian lady in Connecticut.

You talk to them
and they tell you what soap you are.

You are?

Yeah you are.
’

Voil`a.

How did that happen? How did they know
we were coming out now?

I guess they guessed. What do you think?

I think a lesbian little old lady
in Connecticut called them.

Very smart. You must be a writer.
Are you Max?
’

Yes I am.
’
- I thought so. Thank you John.
’

I just have to pick up a few things.

Thank you.

I’d love to be your valet.
- That would be great.

I can’t believe we’re doing this.

Look at what you’re wearing!

It’s OK? It’s a bit wrinkled.

Very hip.

I wouldn’t advise you
to wear it in court. - Why not?

The accused always has to wear
a good suit. - Even if he’s innocent?

They’re all innocent
until the law decides otherwise.

Any more errands?
- Nope.

Have you ever been there since?
- Where?

Montauk.

Why?

Well that’s where we’re going isn’t it?
’

Come on
’
you said the far end of the island.

Does the cat minder sleep
in the apartment when you’re away? - No.

I’m just trying to piece it all together
your... know how you live.
’

Relax put on music.
’

Where is the music?
- You used to know cars.

Well I’m a poor writer. Less than poor.

I don’t have a car anymore.

This I don’t believe.

No it’s true.

I’m broke. Broke for now.

I don't read much. When I am writing,
I find reading a distraction.

I lock myself in a room.

I don't need other authors. And then,
in the evening I listen to jazz maybe...

Might be better if he didn’t talk.
- Yeah.

And in between writing your own books,
what do you read?...

I went to college with him.
- Really?

What was he like?

There were a lot of guys like him.
They bored me.

They took you out on dates

and talked about themselves

and then told you it was your turn
’
you could talk about yourself now.

They knew that if they didn’t let you
talk some you might not sleep with them.

Did you sleep with them?

Sure.

Did you sleep with that guy?

Did you sleep with the illiterate guy?

I think we fooled around a few times.

because it pays a very little attention
to the way the world really works...

I thought I was special
when you fooled around with me.

I never fooled around with you.

I was a very very angry
idealistic young person myself.

So I know whereof I speak.

At Budokan.

I want you,

I want you,

I want you, so bad...

I went through years
of needing to hear this song
’

and needing not to hear it.

We listened to it on the way
out there... and on the way back.

I have total recall.

Did you read what I wrote in the book
’

about our time together?

I only leafed through it.

Did you have a problem with it?

I was surprised.

Maybe more surprised about
the parts you invented.

I didn’t invent much.

We’re almost there.

This house I have to look at.

It’s something I should have done
a few months ago.

One of my colleagues is selling a house
if someone offered him the right price.

I told him I’d look at it at the end of
the summer and then I changed my mind.

Are you buying it for yourself?

My parents live in Dresden.

They’re old
’
could come over and live here.

But I haven’t mentioned it to them
’
it’s just an idea I had.

I had a place once in Maine
’

but I got just a few good weekends
out of it so I sold it.

It’s funny
’

I didn’t use it when I had it
and then I missed it when I sold it.

Do you visit your parents?

I did a few times.
Then I decided never to go back there.

What happened?

Nothing special. I just
didn’t want to be there anymore.

That was the part of you
I never understood.

You never understood anything.

Here’s a sweater.

Thank you.

Hello?

Hello?

Let’s wait a bit.
- I’m not waiting.

They said they’d be here.

Don’t trespass.

I really needed to look at it.

Thanks for coming along.
We can grab a bite on the way back.

We didn’t have this before.

Your taste is deepening.

Stop it.

People are so unreliable you know.
’
I told him I’d be here by noon.

Eighty miles for nothing.

Don’t be angry.
- Why shouldn’t I? - It’s so American.

What does that mean?

All this efficiency!
You’re so relentless pedantic.
’

Is this East Germany
meeting its match in America?

Stop it or get out of the car.
’

Where’s your sense of humor?

You’re driving in the wrong direction.

It may be wrong
’
but that’s where we’re going.

That’s good.... They can’t get more.

I’Il get some branches.

Hello?...

Bye.

They’Il send someone tomorrow
to open the house.

On the Sunday?

I think I have to stay
somewhere out here.

I can drive you back.

Or drop you off at a bus
’
or there’s a train too.

I’m not going anywhere.

Sure this is not a problem?

An enormous one
’

but one I can handle
if you stop shouting at me.

No I mean Lindsey said
’
you have to be back tonight.

Yeah and you said
’
you have to look at the house tomorrow.

Let me call the tow truck.

OK thank you.
’

There’s 21.

Here’s twenty...

23.

Here.
- OK.

See you in a bit.

Yeah...

Look at that!

If we don’t go now
it’s going to start to mist or rain

or it’Il get dark.

I need a walk.

I need to call Rachel for the cats.

And...

we should get toothbrushes
and stuff. Maybe some boots.

There’s something different
about the hotel.

No.

Time has passed that’s all.
’

The hotel is the same.

It’s more imposing though.

It hasn’t changed?
- Have you changed?

Yes I have.

In what way?
- In ways I don’t want to talk about.

I take it you think
you’re still the same.

Well I’m older I’m balder...
’

I don’t mean that.
- Il know what you mean...

Yeah a table for two please.
’

OK lovely thank you.
’ ’
See you later.

Last time we saw this restaurant
and thought it was too expensive

or else it was too full
’
do you remember?

I checked the name of it
and thought this time we would go there.

I can’t remember
having any food at all last time.

We had bad chowder in some corner place
just down from here.

You hated it and I didn’t finish it.

I don’t remember that.

I said it was homemade.

And you said we were all homemade
’

and maybe that was
the worst thing about us.

What does that mean?

Thanks.

It was nice to be back at the library.

I couldn’t make it.

Well the reading would have been
embarrassing with you in the room.

When I worked in the library

I loved the manuscripts
more than the books.

Kafka and Twain and Nabokov...

Weren’t you intimidated?
- No! - No?

No. On the contrary.

Seeing how everyone who wrote started
with ordinary things trying out
’ ’

and when I saw those lines crossed out
’

whole pages...

No one was ever sure
of what they were writing
’

not when they started
’
not even the greatest.

They were not yet fully formed.
They had to work.

Once when I was a teenager
I learned an entire passage of Plato

to impress my father

only to be told that he knew it all
in the original Greek.

You never grow up.

For me it wasn’t funny at all.

I know
’

I almost cried
when you told me for the first time.

I did?
- Yeah.

That’s how you got me.

I was so innocent.

Just give me a minute please.

When we drove out here
I wasn’t sure how it feel.

I thought it was me who thought that.

In a way this could be
’
the next day after the last time.

Don’t speak.

You used to say
that we were world champions.

At being happy.

The only thing that I promise myself

that if I buy it I can’t sell it.

No more moving or regretting.

It’s only two hours from the city.

I like the city.

It would mean giving up
going anywhere else.

This is where I would sit.

And I would never leave.

What does he do your friend?
’

How did he make the money to have this?

He writes essays.

He writes essays and makes money?
From essays?

No stupid he’s a lawyer.
’

He sues people.

He gets up early in the morning
and he sues people.

Was that a joke about the essays?

I think I would have to spend
a night out here on my own

to see how it feels.

Maybe it’s too remote too beautiful
’ ’

too frightening in the dark.

Could we change things now?

Change what?
- Change our lives?

Or decide that we should?
- No no.
’

Listen. Listen to me.

I’m with someone
’

but I would leave her. - Don’t say it.
- I would leave her this second.

And then what move in with me?
’
Take me to Berlin?

Can’t we have a second chance?
We could live together like we did then.

We never lived together.

You were always elsewhere
’
always on the move.

Maybe we are wiser now.

I won’t make that mistake again.

You’re not wise at all are you?
’

What do you mean?

Tell me about you.

Since we last met?

Whatever. Tell me about your life.

Leave me out of it.

But how? It will always be us.

Not your work or your writing?
’

No it’s you.
’

Women.

There will always be women.

Go on.
- It’s of no importance.

I’m happy now. Happy to be here.

Happy.

After we split up
’
or however you would call it
’

I met someone.

Oh? Someone you’re still seeing?

Please don’t ask any questions.
Just let me talk.

Then I won’t talk again.

I was just... - I’ve been waiting
to see you so I could tell you this.

Maybe...

Maybe you’re the only one
I needed to know this.

I moved very close to him
’
I mean I lived with him

and I thought that we would manage
our lives together but...

natural and easy too
’

happy.

You’re still seeing him?

He died.

Marcus died.

God...

I can hardly say it still.

What age was he?

God he was young.
’

It was a heart attack.

He had it on the street.
He fell down dead.

That is what happened.

You know he died and I didn’t know
’ ’

or feel you know?
’

He was in the same city.

I didn’t feel...

We lived on Bleecker Street.

He had found his habitat

and that was all he wanted me to
’
be there the chairs the desk the bed.
’ ’ ’

He was a lawyer too.

He loved loopholes
’

strange new ways
of looking at a contract like...
’

the same way as he liked chess
and minimalist art and some jazz and...

He had only one suit.

Always wore
the same type of white shirt.

I loved being with him
when he was asleep.

He had a way of waking up
and then looking at you
’

half apologizing.

You’re shivering.

I often feel in places like this
’ ’
you know
’

the soft places the edge of things
’ ’

when it’s like this in the winter
’
that he might be here
’

or come here.

Like he came across the room to me
in that bar.

and said nothing looked at me
’
and sipped his drink

and made clear to me
that he wasn’t going to go.

Is that why we came here?

No.

No.

It’s not why we came here but...
’

I mean I needed to tell you
what happened
’

no?

I know you thought
something else might happen.

I could see when you were in that house
that you don’t just dream in your books
’

you dream in your life.
But you cannot dream about me.

But last night
’

and this morning
’
I felt... You felt something too.

Oh don’t tell me what I felt.

But you’re free now.

Free is not the word. You’re alone.
- But... - But you...

I am not free.

Is there someone else?
- No.

I mean that’s what I’m...

That’s what I’m saying.

I went straight back to work
after he died.

There was a case
and it couldn’t have been postponed

and I was the only one briefed.

Then I took on more work
’

and then I got head hunted
’
which is a good way of putting it.

Finally when I found that I
hadn’t stopped working for a year
’

I went to the therapist

who was so frightened at the state
I was in that she sent me to a shrink
’

like a real doctor.

We tried talking
’
but I make a living from talking.

I mean we tried medication.

I didn’t take it.

In the end he used hypnosis on me.

Have you ever done it?

No.

That is a shock.

That is the biggest shock I’ve ever had
’
I mean Max...
’

I went into Marcus’s mind
as he lay dying.

You know...

It was as though I was with him
’

you know and not beside him
’

but in his mind too.

It was as though he had taken me
with him or part of me or...
’

and left the rest of me
’
what you see now you know? I mean...
’

I was with him.

I felt what he felt.

I died as he died.

Max.

You know the summer after you left
’
you sent me letters.

You said you were traveling.

I was really puzzled by that
’

I thought you were taken up
by the new Berlin
’

and then we had these talks
from your hotel rooms and...

I never knew why
you weren’t in New York.

You know
’
I wanted you to be in New York.

I didn’t want you to be in Sienna
or in Florence or...

But you didn’t care.

You were fooling around weren’t you?
’

It wasn’t serious was it?

It was just a story
you could tell years later no?
’

Tell me that it’s true.
Please tell me.

tell me for once something that’s true
’
you know.

Why didn’t you come back to New York?

I was distracted.

There was so much going on.
I was poor...

I let the year go by and...
- And?

And there was someone on a book tour.

She got pregnant.

She wanted to keep the child
’

a girl.

Do you see her?
- Of course I see her.

I love her very much.

And she’s how old?

She’s 16 now.

It happened
the first winter after I left.

So...

Why didn’t you ever tell me?

I didn’t want to harm you.

Oh...

You know that's
what I liked about you.

That you didn’t mean any harm.

You never meant any harm.

Things just happened.

I never knew what you saw in me.

I wanted you to be
the father of my children.

It’s been taken care of sir.
’

Oh thank you.

Hi, this is Clara

and if you love me, leave me a message.

Hi, this is Clara

and if you love me, leave me a message.

Hey Lindsey it’s Max...
’ ’

Do you have Clara’s address?

How long have you been living here?

All the time.

Over a kebab shop.

That’s what I’ve been smelling
all the time!

Max don’t start.
’

It’s in the pillows it’s all over the
’
bed. The sexy smell of cooking kebab.

I didn’t want you to come here.

I should have come the first day.

I was careless.

I’m sorry Clara.
’

What I loved about you was...

was that you knew so much.

I loved that you were older than me.

I still do.

I was happy when you suggested

that I go to New York
and got me this job.

But not once on the phone
did you ask me about my work.

What exactly I’m doing here.

I learned a lot of stuff: that the city
’
if you are alone is a dump
’ ’

your work everybody thinks you got it
’

because your guy said
you were to have it.

was grateful for Roderick’s help.

We had a lot of fun.

He helped me survive the city.

It’s fine in taxis moving from
one place to another
’

it’s fine in hotels
’
it’s fine in a Woody Allen movie
’

but try it on your own
’
on a Monday night in winter
’ ’

when the cold
is getting into your bones.

And the man you love

is 1000 miles away and does not care.

Just try it once.

Try it once.

I’m sorry.

I want you to tell me who you are

and what you want from me.

I want you to look at me.

I look at you! I see you Clara.
’

I was jealous.

Jealous?

So you eloped with fucking Lindsey.

I didn’t go to Montauk
with fucking Lindsey!

You did not?

No! I didn’t go to Montauk
with fucking Lindsey.

We’re going home.
I...

I want you to come with me.

Something really bad
must have happened to you.

But I don’t want to know what it was.

Let’s go tonight.

Clara repeat what I’m saying
’ ’
say after me:

I’ve read all your books.

Please.

I’ve read all your books.

No one except me will tolerate you.

That’s just plain silly.

Just say it.

No one else except me will tolerate you.

You’re not gonna change
’
but I’m staying with you.

I don’t know why.

No not this one.
’

Ah...

Don’t contradict him. He likes women
to be sweet and agreeable.

Sweet and agreeable?

There’s a drawing
he promised me years ago a Paul Klee.
’

It may get 300 000 at an auction.
’

Of course. Your pension fund.

Sweet and agreeable.

And there’s Malevich Kandinsky
’ ’

and somewhere we have Corot Klee
’ ’
many things manuals and...
’

Some are from my family of course.
’

But now I wonder
’

if I’m not tired of them.

Which is why I don’t mind the light.

You see the light?

They fade
’

you know.

You’Il see they fade...
’

A little each year more in summer.
’

So why don’t you protect them?
’

I could burn them. They are mine.

I let them fade.

They'll disappear when I do.

I find that comforting.

I think it’s disgusting.

No I don’t think so.
’

They are mine you understand?
’

I own them.
- Bullshit! No one can own them.

My dear
’
I think this conversation will become...

extremely boring.

Why don’t you occupy Wall Street?

Drink?

Thank you.

Now for the real reason

I brought you here Max.
’

Open it.

I want you to have it.

You remember Rebecca
was with us when I bought it?

You still see her?
- No.

She works too much now.

You?

Go on take it.
’
Let that be an end to it.

Take it Max.
’

Before it fades away here.

I hope to be back.

Next year. Maybe sooner.

Oh
’

your scarf.

Keep it.

Really?

Thank you. Bye.

I love you. You know that.

I did... I did something very wrong.

I feel I can tell you that.

What happened in Montauk?

I... I saw a ghost.

Did you fuck her?

It wasn’t about sex.

Maybe it was.

You can’t fuck a ghost.

Untertitel:
alias film & sprachtransfer