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1
00:00:07,172 --> 00:00:08,172
He's a whore.
2
00:00:09,172 --> 00:00:12,630
-Who are we talking about?
-Jules! The guy. He's a man-whore.
3
00:00:14,422 --> 00:00:15,463
I don't get it.
4
00:00:15,547 --> 00:00:16,880
And in the sack?
5
00:00:17,963 --> 00:00:19,588
-What?
-Tonight's chick.
6
00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,255
We didn't have sex.
7
00:00:25,172 --> 00:00:27,338
-Weren't you supposed to?
-Yes.
8
00:00:28,380 --> 00:00:32,255
Actually, her friend booked me
to help her get over a breakup.
9
00:00:32,338 --> 00:00:35,922
But I was given a full-on script,
I'm like the perfect guy...
10
00:00:36,505 --> 00:00:38,963
What's nice is
she's already payed for two dates.
11
00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:41,255
-Two paid up front with a script?
-Yep.
12
00:00:41,338 --> 00:00:43,380
Lucky you. Who are you supposed to be?
13
00:00:43,672 --> 00:00:48,963
-A schoolteacher. Cool, normal, romantic.
-Nice! I've never had a client like that.
14
00:00:51,713 --> 00:00:52,838
Hey, don't worry.
15
00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:54,838
-What could go wrong?
-Oh, I don't know.
16
00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:56,755
Gonorrhea? Herpes?
17
00:00:59,047 --> 00:01:01,213
Or worse! She could fall in love.
18
00:01:01,297 --> 00:01:04,255
This isn't Pretty Woman.
She won't fall in love with a hooker.
19
00:01:05,005 --> 00:01:08,005
Except she doesn't know he's a hooker!
20
00:01:09,047 --> 00:01:10,047
Are you thick?
21
00:01:10,797 --> 00:01:13,463
In Pretty Woman,
he knows, he's the one paying.
22
00:01:13,547 --> 00:01:16,463
In this case, you're paying...
Are you paying, by the way?
23
00:01:17,255 --> 00:01:18,255
Yeah.
24
00:01:18,838 --> 00:01:22,797
Honestly, it's super unlikely
she'll fall in love with him, Milou.
25
00:01:23,255 --> 00:01:26,672
He's the type of guy who says,
"Bon appétit!" Elsa hates--
26
00:01:26,755 --> 00:01:28,338
Shut up! Change of address.
27
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,172
-What do you want--
-Shut up!
28
00:01:30,255 --> 00:01:32,713
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
29
00:01:32,797 --> 00:01:34,755
THE LAME PLAN
30
00:01:34,838 --> 00:01:36,505
THE CRAZY PLAN
31
00:01:36,588 --> 00:01:39,130
THE BOOTY PLAN
32
00:01:39,213 --> 00:01:41,088
THE HOOK-UP PLAN
33
00:01:43,172 --> 00:01:45,172
-It'll be quicker on foot.
-Yeah, yeah...
34
00:01:45,255 --> 00:01:48,088
Sorry about her.
Give her a good rating anyway.
35
00:01:48,172 --> 00:01:49,422
-Bye, Amine!
-Bye!
36
00:01:50,838 --> 00:01:54,047
-This is a big mistake.
-Shut it until we get to her place.
37
00:01:54,130 --> 00:01:57,630
-Then you can tell her everything.
-Just trust me!
38
00:01:58,047 --> 00:02:01,380
I briefed the guy really well.
I pimped him so she digged him.
39
00:02:02,672 --> 00:02:04,422
Because you met him in person?
40
00:02:15,713 --> 00:02:16,547
Jules?
41
00:02:16,630 --> 00:02:19,922
-It's ringing, it's ringing. It's her!
-What should I say?
42
00:02:20,463 --> 00:02:24,588
Dinner Friday night.
43
00:02:25,505 --> 00:02:28,297
Yeah, right, you found it.In Charlotte's bag.
44
00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:31,172
No, on the bar at the party.
45
00:02:32,130 --> 00:02:33,505
ROGER LA GRENOUILLE, 8 P.M.?
46
00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:36,505
-Where are you? Can I pick it up?
-I could drop it off.
47
00:02:37,005 --> 00:02:39,880
-I'd like to see you again.
-You're wasting my time. Smile.
48
00:02:39,963 --> 00:02:41,505
-Like that?
-There we go.
49
00:02:41,588 --> 00:02:44,047
-By the carousel?
-Perfect. See you later.
50
00:02:44,463 --> 00:02:47,713
From now on, this is your new phone.
51
00:02:49,047 --> 00:02:51,047
How could you do this to her?
52
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:54,088
Didn't she suffer enough with Max?
It's disgusting.
53
00:02:54,172 --> 00:02:57,547
It's not what you think.
It's a new app, like Deliveroo for dicks.
54
00:02:57,630 --> 00:03:00,380
There's something for everyone.
Look at these winkles!
55
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:03,213
-No. No. No.
-These dongs, they're all guys.
56
00:03:04,422 --> 00:03:06,588
-What about saving Elsa?
-Can't hear you!
57
00:03:10,338 --> 00:03:11,755
It's illegal, too.
58
00:03:12,297 --> 00:03:13,297
Hey!
59
00:03:15,172 --> 00:03:20,130
-You're so old-school, I like to give.
-Oh, yeah? And how did you pay for this?
60
00:03:20,213 --> 00:03:23,630
Have you not lived rent-free
for two years because you're broke?
61
00:03:23,713 --> 00:03:26,422
-This is getting vulgar.
-Is your defense ready?
62
00:03:27,047 --> 00:03:28,963
Hey, Milou, chill out.
63
00:03:29,338 --> 00:03:31,255
Let it go. Think about Elsa.
64
00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:37,088
"It was really cool
to spend time with this guy."
65
00:03:37,172 --> 00:03:40,255
"OK, I panicked but it did me
a hell of a lot of good."
66
00:03:40,338 --> 00:03:42,172
"Sleep well, I love you, El."
67
00:03:46,838 --> 00:03:48,213
Stop sulking!
68
00:03:49,130 --> 00:03:52,463
I've only paid for two dates,
it will loosen her up.
69
00:03:53,088 --> 00:03:56,172
If I get the tiniest hint
of her getting attached...
70
00:03:56,255 --> 00:04:00,088
Then what? You'll stop talking to me?
You'll be pretty lonely, I'm your BFF.
71
00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:02,630
Order us an Uber?
72
00:04:03,588 --> 00:04:05,588
Come on, we're not walking home!
73
00:04:06,505 --> 00:04:07,505
Milou...
74
00:04:08,338 --> 00:04:09,755
Oh, you're such a pain!
75
00:04:13,130 --> 00:04:16,005
-Such a pain! Milou!
-You're a pain.
76
00:04:53,797 --> 00:04:56,588
NEW MESSAGE
TO: JULES DUPONT
77
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,047
WHERE ARE YOU?
78
00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:00,797
I'M COMING!
79
00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:05,380
Lame.
80
00:05:17,005 --> 00:05:19,380
Come on, one spoon for Mommy...
81
00:05:19,463 --> 00:05:22,755
-Come on.
-Not sure about the sugar.
82
00:05:22,838 --> 00:05:27,047
It's not just sugar.
Sometimes, it's fries, pasta, kebab.
83
00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:28,297
Even some straw.
84
00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:29,213
Rubbish!
85
00:05:29,297 --> 00:05:30,588
Have they left yet?
86
00:05:41,047 --> 00:05:42,797
Can you hear that waterfall?
87
00:05:43,422 --> 00:05:45,630
-It's Milou's morning wee.
-Antoine!
88
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,880
Now she's yelling at my brother
for something really serious
89
00:05:48,963 --> 00:05:50,838
like a teaspoon in the wrong place.
90
00:05:50,922 --> 00:05:51,922
Oh, shit!
91
00:05:59,130 --> 00:06:00,213
Shit out of luck!
92
00:06:00,297 --> 00:06:02,255
Do you want to go food-shopping later?
93
00:06:02,338 --> 00:06:04,797
Why not. How about an antique fair too?
94
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,922
Brunch with your friends and their sprogs?
95
00:06:07,005 --> 00:06:08,547
Way to turn me on.
96
00:06:09,505 --> 00:06:11,713
You're such a potty mouth!
97
00:06:11,797 --> 00:06:14,463
You'll need to make an effort
for your interview today.
98
00:06:14,547 --> 00:06:17,297
I'm not sure it's really the job for me.
99
00:06:18,005 --> 00:06:19,755
Manager of a pastry store.
100
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:24,172
-And the boss looks like the #MeToo kind.
-Sue him, then.
101
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:29,880
-Hello?
-Who is it?
102
00:06:29,963 --> 00:06:31,422
Two seconds. It's your dad.
103
00:06:32,963 --> 00:06:35,380
Right, I'm off.
Catch you before your Eurostar?
104
00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:36,922
-OK, suits me.
-See you!
105
00:06:39,297 --> 00:06:40,297
Yes, hello?
106
00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:43,172
I can't talk right now but meet me at 11,
you know where.
107
00:06:44,005 --> 00:06:45,005
OK, perfect.
108
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,213
-Was that him?
-Is my brother not here?
109
00:06:48,297 --> 00:06:49,838
Stop this!
110
00:06:49,922 --> 00:06:52,713
You haven't had
the happy trimester yet, have you?
111
00:06:52,797 --> 00:06:53,797
I have, actually.
112
00:06:56,588 --> 00:06:58,047
Antoine, she's doing it again.
113
00:06:58,130 --> 00:07:00,880
She's doing it again. That's enough.
114
00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:03,213
Stop putting your keys there,
we'll get robbed.
115
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,422
Yes, they'll steal your non-stick pans.
116
00:07:05,505 --> 00:07:09,172
-OK, enjoy yoga! Have a good day!
-I will!
117
00:07:10,338 --> 00:07:12,172
-Antoine?
-In the bathroom.
118
00:07:14,213 --> 00:07:16,463
-Did you get my Weetabix?
-Morning.
119
00:07:16,547 --> 00:07:20,338
-Morning. Did you get my Weetabix?
-Yes, in the kitchen.
120
00:07:21,380 --> 00:07:23,505
Best bro del mundo!
121
00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:28,713
See you!
122
00:07:28,797 --> 00:07:30,463
-Flush?
-No time!
123
00:07:33,922 --> 00:07:35,463
NEW MESSAGE TO: JULES DUPONT
124
00:07:35,547 --> 00:07:38,047
FANCY A DRINK WITH MISS PIGGY ON FRIDAY?
125
00:07:38,922 --> 00:07:40,088
So lame...
126
00:07:41,922 --> 00:07:42,922
Hey.
127
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,047
Hey.
128
00:07:46,338 --> 00:07:47,338
Hello.
129
00:07:48,005 --> 00:07:51,213
-You look like you're feeling better?
-Yep, absolutely.
130
00:07:51,630 --> 00:07:52,630
Yeah.
131
00:07:53,130 --> 00:07:56,463
-Did you hear about the sports hall?
-Vaguely.
132
00:07:58,213 --> 00:07:59,630
Talk about touchy...
133
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:02,672
The news crews are already there.
134
00:08:03,505 --> 00:08:07,213
-I don't even know what to tell them.
-The truth? Oh, no, wait.
135
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,713
Are you going to kick them out?
136
00:08:12,297 --> 00:08:15,172
I don't know. Wasn't that
your idea of a good solution?
137
00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:17,380
Bye.
138
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:22,588
Yeah. Bye.
139
00:08:28,130 --> 00:08:30,005
Yes, they entered without permission,
140
00:08:30,088 --> 00:08:32,297
but the hall's been closed
for three months.
141
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,838
It was freezing last night,
they had nowhere else to go.
142
00:08:38,130 --> 00:08:41,380
Sir, migrants are humans too, you know.
143
00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:47,130
OK. Tell me, apart from you,
who has a problem with them being there?
144
00:08:48,380 --> 00:08:52,505
So, you can take your complaint
and shove it right up your ass.
145
00:08:52,588 --> 00:08:53,630
Thanks for your call.
146
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,088
-Hey.
-Hey.
147
00:09:08,838 --> 00:09:10,047
What's going on?
148
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:12,547
I paid you for sex,
not for snacks and then bed.
149
00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:15,755
-I'm sorry but she's like Fort Knox.
-She's scared, man.
150
00:09:15,838 --> 00:09:18,088
That's why I'm paying you,
to unlock the fort.
151
00:09:18,172 --> 00:09:21,505
Usually, when I enter the stage,
the door is wide open...
152
00:09:22,297 --> 00:09:24,005
No means no, golden rule.
153
00:09:25,088 --> 00:09:26,755
Don't you need milk with that?
154
00:09:26,838 --> 00:09:29,130
Can you focus for a second, please?
155
00:09:29,547 --> 00:09:32,130
Right. Phase two. Here's the program.
156
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,672
OK, you do exactly
what's written there. Then...
157
00:09:37,713 --> 00:09:38,838
give her this to eat.
158
00:09:39,838 --> 00:09:41,505
She'll spill it, for sure.
159
00:09:41,588 --> 00:09:44,963
Take her top off... You know how it goes.
160
00:09:46,963 --> 00:09:49,588
-OK, I'll try.
-No, you'll give it your all.
161
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:50,838
Give it your all, man!
162
00:09:52,338 --> 00:09:55,130
Did you learn your lines
about your dad and the watchman?
163
00:09:55,213 --> 00:09:56,297
Yeah...
164
00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:59,338
-You don't sound convinced. Did you?
-Yes. Don't you trust me?
165
00:09:59,422 --> 00:10:01,797
Yeah... Let's say I do.
166
00:10:02,963 --> 00:10:04,880
Right. Oh, slightly awkward detail.
167
00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:06,922
Your card was declined.
168
00:10:08,213 --> 00:10:09,130
Really?
169
00:10:09,213 --> 00:10:11,797
Take care of it before tonight
or this is for me.
170
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:12,922
Yeah, all right.
171
00:10:13,005 --> 00:10:16,088
I have, like, 2,000 credit cards,
who do you think I am?
172
00:10:19,963 --> 00:10:20,963
Jules! Jules!
173
00:10:21,338 --> 00:10:23,755
What did you think of her? Cute, right?
174
00:10:24,547 --> 00:10:27,047
-Is she cute or not?
-What difference does it make?
175
00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:29,047
You like her...
176
00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:33,005
I knew it. Give it your all!
I'm with you all the way.
177
00:10:37,172 --> 00:10:38,172
I'm a genius!
178
00:10:45,755 --> 00:10:47,422
Benjy, my buddy!
179
00:10:48,630 --> 00:10:49,630
How's it going?
180
00:10:50,338 --> 00:10:53,380
-Did you like it?
-He's made a lot of progress.
181
00:10:53,755 --> 00:10:55,713
-Hi, Manon.
-How's it going?
182
00:10:57,463 --> 00:10:59,755
-You coming to Karine's drinks?
-I don't know.
183
00:10:59,838 --> 00:11:03,630
-I don't know, maybe.
-You're in demand...
184
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,255
It's my girlfriend's shopping list.
185
00:11:06,338 --> 00:11:07,463
And this.
186
00:11:09,172 --> 00:11:10,297
Right...
187
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:11,880
Yeah...
188
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:15,172
-Right. See you later.
-See you later.
189
00:11:17,547 --> 00:11:20,255
Now, in Weetabix boxes,
there's, like, 16 biscuits.
190
00:11:20,338 --> 00:11:24,172
There used to be 32,
34 if you were lucky. Crazy, right?
191
00:11:24,255 --> 00:11:26,422
-That's marketing for you.
-Marketing?
192
00:11:26,505 --> 00:11:30,130
Half the number of biscuits
so that you buy twice as many boxes.
193
00:11:30,213 --> 00:11:31,463
-It makes sense.
-Yeah.
194
00:11:31,797 --> 00:11:34,547
By the way, darling,
could you lend me 200 euros?
195
00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:37,047
Like today, right now, before 6:30 p.m.?
196
00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:42,255
-It's for Elsa's birthday.
-I've already chipped in online.
197
00:11:43,130 --> 00:11:45,422
-Oh, yeah, the online kitty...
-I don't know.
198
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,297
-I'll see what I have.
-Don't worry about it.
199
00:11:51,922 --> 00:11:55,172
I won't walk you to the train,
this isn't Titanic.
200
00:11:55,255 --> 00:11:57,838
PROBLEM WITH YOUR CONTRACT.
STAY IN PARIS. CALL ME.
201
00:11:58,297 --> 00:12:00,505
-Are you OK?
-Yeah.
202
00:12:00,588 --> 00:12:01,963
Right, I'm off.
203
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,047
-See you! Bye, buddy!
-See you next time!
204
00:12:23,922 --> 00:12:24,922
Hello.
205
00:12:32,672 --> 00:12:33,963
Cut the snow, please.
206
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,755
Fancy lunch with me?
207
00:12:38,047 --> 00:12:40,713
I might look unattainable but I'm cool.
208
00:12:41,422 --> 00:12:42,422
So they say.
209
00:12:44,255 --> 00:12:46,713
And my roommate is late so I have time.
210
00:12:48,422 --> 00:12:50,797
-Do I know you?
-You might.
211
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:53,213
Oops.
212
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:55,880
The ad.
213
00:12:56,463 --> 00:12:58,422
The thing for... Carole!
214
00:12:58,838 --> 00:13:02,005
-Yeah?
-The extra. He's from that ad.
215
00:13:02,505 --> 00:13:04,338
-The one who farts in the lift.
-No!
216
00:13:04,422 --> 00:13:06,380
-You know, Flatuline!
-Flatuline?
217
00:13:07,172 --> 00:13:08,630
The price of success, man.
218
00:13:08,713 --> 00:13:11,213
-How did it go?
-Two secs, I'm still in character.
219
00:13:11,755 --> 00:13:12,755
It's not easy.
220
00:13:14,588 --> 00:13:16,880
It will never be finished
before Baby arrives.
221
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,505
Are you an architect now?
222
00:13:19,422 --> 00:13:21,297
Hey, tea break is over, guys.
223
00:13:22,755 --> 00:13:25,880
How long do I have to lie
to my brother about your mat leave?
224
00:13:25,963 --> 00:13:28,088
Antoine still thinks you're going to yoga?
225
00:13:28,172 --> 00:13:30,838
If I went as much as I say I do,
I'd be the Dalai Lama.
226
00:13:32,963 --> 00:13:34,463
What about the hottie, Jules?
227
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:35,755
What are you waiting for?
228
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:39,755
-I don't know, I have a mental block.
-Don't force yourself.
229
00:13:39,838 --> 00:13:41,380
-You're not feeling it.
-Really?
230
00:13:41,463 --> 00:13:42,630
-Yes.
-No.
231
00:13:42,713 --> 00:13:43,838
Just send him a text.
232
00:13:43,922 --> 00:13:44,922
-No.
-Yes.
233
00:13:45,005 --> 00:13:46,338
-No.
-Yes.
234
00:13:46,422 --> 00:13:47,797
-Yes!
-No!
235
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:49,213
She has a mental block.
236
00:13:49,297 --> 00:13:51,130
Yes. But what do I say?
237
00:13:51,838 --> 00:13:54,463
If it's to end up in little pieces
and fed to pigs...
238
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,922
-A guy killed a girl he met on Tinder.
-Yeah?
239
00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,505
That's Black Mirror.
240
00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:00,838
You're just rusty, honey.
241
00:14:00,922 --> 00:14:01,963
Trust me!
242
00:14:02,047 --> 00:14:04,713
Hang on. Let me do this. Hang on!
243
00:14:04,797 --> 00:14:06,838
Just a sec. Right.
244
00:14:08,255 --> 00:14:10,005
Simple, direct...
245
00:14:10,713 --> 00:14:12,172
cute and sent.
246
00:14:12,255 --> 00:14:14,588
-Oh, no!
-You didn't send that?
247
00:14:14,963 --> 00:14:16,297
Oh, no, no, no!
248
00:14:17,755 --> 00:14:19,797
Shit, all this is potato starch?
249
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:21,463
That's the magic of cinema.
250
00:14:21,963 --> 00:14:25,338
-They're not going to wait for it to snow.
-Absolutely.
251
00:14:30,047 --> 00:14:32,297
What's that thing? A walkie-talkie?
252
00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:35,005
Elsa's mate gave it to me,
all part of the act.
253
00:14:35,588 --> 00:14:38,255
-So, it's Elsa now?
-I don't get the text. Here.
254
00:14:39,463 --> 00:14:42,255
-Don't send any BS.
-Your thing can't read emojis.
255
00:14:43,130 --> 00:14:45,880
I'll forward it to my phone
so we can decode it.
256
00:14:47,338 --> 00:14:48,172
So?
257
00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:50,297
Peach, corn, heart.
258
00:14:51,213 --> 00:14:53,463
-She's up for it.
-And yet...
259
00:14:53,547 --> 00:14:54,797
What shall we reply?
260
00:14:55,797 --> 00:14:56,630
Here.
261
00:15:00,172 --> 00:15:03,297
A theater? I'm supposed
to spike her interest with a theater?
262
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:06,713
No need, she's a client.
Just write what's on the paper.
263
00:15:08,505 --> 00:15:10,547
I'll just add a couple of eggplants...
264
00:15:11,213 --> 00:15:12,588
a peach and a tongue.
265
00:15:13,172 --> 00:15:14,380
-Classy.
-Shit...
266
00:15:15,422 --> 00:15:17,338
Meet at the stage door.
267
00:15:18,088 --> 00:15:20,713
Déjazet Theater. 6:30 p.m.
268
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:26,172
And the final touch:
corn, donut, wet, wet.
269
00:15:26,255 --> 00:15:27,255
Done.
270
00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:34,880
-This will translate to a normal text?
-Dude. Am I a geek or what?
271
00:15:36,213 --> 00:15:37,213
Forward it.
272
00:15:37,630 --> 00:15:38,630
He's replied!
273
00:15:40,047 --> 00:15:42,547
-What did he say?
-Alien, alien, poop, baby.
274
00:15:43,005 --> 00:15:45,630
Stage door. Déjazet Theater. 6:30 p.m.
275
00:15:46,338 --> 00:15:48,755
Santa, hospital, hospital.
276
00:15:49,672 --> 00:15:50,713
Typical psychopath.
277
00:15:50,797 --> 00:15:51,880
It's positive, right?
278
00:15:51,963 --> 00:15:54,755
Well, it's not negative,
and you have a date, girl!
279
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,172
The aliens must be a metaphor for us.
280
00:15:58,422 --> 00:16:00,963
And the Santa means
you're a gift from Heaven.
281
00:16:01,297 --> 00:16:02,838
-You think so?
-No.
282
00:16:06,005 --> 00:16:08,713
-Déjazet Theater. Intriguing, right?
-Yeah!
283
00:16:08,797 --> 00:16:11,713
-He's original, I love it.
-It's just a theater!
284
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,422
What I don't get is the poop emoji.
285
00:16:14,838 --> 00:16:19,255
Ah, yeah! Maybe it's to say
we're like two aliens...
286
00:16:19,797 --> 00:16:20,838
in this shitty world.
287
00:16:24,338 --> 00:16:27,672
Who cares! Just reply.
Otherwise, it's like you're playing games.
288
00:16:27,755 --> 00:16:29,172
-And that's whorish.
-Is it?
289
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:30,547
-Yes.
-Nonsense.
290
00:16:30,630 --> 00:16:32,297
-You're right, it's whorish.
-Yep.
291
00:16:32,380 --> 00:16:35,255
-No!
-You found a man in the fax-machine era.
292
00:16:36,297 --> 00:16:37,297
-Well, yeah.
-OK.
293
00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:39,713
-You don't know anything.
-Yes, I do.
294
00:16:49,463 --> 00:16:51,547
DEJAZET THEATER
295
00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:06,547
Sorry, I'm always late.
296
00:17:07,588 --> 00:17:10,005
Three minutes, I can forgive you.
How are you?
297
00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:12,172
-Shall we?
-Yes.
298
00:17:14,172 --> 00:17:15,297
Is it a surprise?
299
00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:18,005
Do you trust me?
300
00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:22,380
Yes.
301
00:17:24,588 --> 00:17:25,588
It's Jules.
302
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:29,672
Evening, sir.
303
00:17:29,755 --> 00:17:30,755
EMERGENCY EXIT
304
00:17:30,838 --> 00:17:32,630
Where are we going? What is this?
305
00:17:33,672 --> 00:17:36,463
-Sweet, you even planned a picnic.
-Yeah.
306
00:17:36,547 --> 00:17:38,297
-What's in the boxes?
-Meatballs.
307
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:40,130
-Meatballs?
-Don't you like them?
308
00:17:40,213 --> 00:17:41,630
-Meatball sandwiches?
-Yes.
309
00:17:41,713 --> 00:17:43,338
I live for meatballs!
310
00:17:45,922 --> 00:17:48,005
What's going on? This is so cool.
311
00:17:48,088 --> 00:17:49,922
-How do you know this place?
-Come.
312
00:17:50,005 --> 00:17:51,755
Have you always lived in Paris?
313
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:55,338
I have but, actually,
I don't look at the city anymore.
314
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:58,422
I don't. We always go
to the same places, it's boring.
315
00:17:58,505 --> 00:17:59,797
We're... Whoa!
316
00:18:00,630 --> 00:18:02,922
-This is incredible. So beautiful.
-Come.
317
00:18:03,005 --> 00:18:07,088
So, you see, it's a shame,
we should take time to enjoy it.
318
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,047
-Whoa!
-Shush!
319
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,588
Come on! Come!
320
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,630
MANON: LUNCH TOMORROW?
321
00:18:29,713 --> 00:18:31,338
With pleasure.
322
00:18:35,922 --> 00:18:38,338
-Is that you?
-No, it's Catherine Deneuve.
323
00:18:39,588 --> 00:18:43,005
-Did you stay till close?
-No, we just chatted for a while.
324
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:44,505
You know, pregnancy chat.
325
00:18:46,422 --> 00:18:49,130
-What are you doing?
-I'm going to shower.
326
00:18:49,213 --> 00:18:50,213
Can I come with you?
327
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:54,838
No, I don't feel like it. I'm fat
and I don't want you to see me naked.
328
00:18:55,672 --> 00:18:57,713
I need some me time, I'm about to pop.
329
00:18:58,005 --> 00:18:59,922
-My little popcorn!
-No.
330
00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:02,297
And set your phone to silent.
331
00:19:02,755 --> 00:19:04,505
You know I hate those beeps.
332
00:19:04,588 --> 00:19:09,463
We live in a world of stupid little beeps:
dishwasher, TV, washing-machine, phone.
333
00:19:09,547 --> 00:19:11,005
I'm sick of it!
334
00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:15,130
Are you mad at me?
335
00:19:15,630 --> 00:19:16,630
No, don't worry.
336
00:19:17,172 --> 00:19:19,213
-OK, I love you.
-Me too.
337
00:19:31,047 --> 00:19:32,255
It's really good.
338
00:19:50,547 --> 00:19:53,588
-This can't be the first time you do this.
-I'm sorry?
339
00:19:53,672 --> 00:19:57,338
You know, the secret theater,
the concert, the picnic.
340
00:20:00,088 --> 00:20:01,547
Fancy a sandwich?
341
00:20:02,463 --> 00:20:04,088
Nice swerve.
342
00:20:08,547 --> 00:20:09,672
OK, I'll confess.
343
00:20:10,505 --> 00:20:11,755
I came here as a kid.
344
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:16,380
My father was a fan
of music and theater and...
345
00:20:16,755 --> 00:20:19,672
he couldn't afford it
but had a deal with the night watchman.
346
00:20:19,963 --> 00:20:20,963
Yeah?
347
00:20:21,838 --> 00:20:26,255
It's not the first time I come here but...
you are the first girl I've come with.
348
00:20:34,963 --> 00:20:37,088
In my family, music is a religion.
349
00:20:43,255 --> 00:20:44,088
Shit!
350
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:45,380
Shit.
351
00:20:45,463 --> 00:20:47,755
-Don't worry about it.
-What an idiot!
352
00:20:48,130 --> 00:20:51,130
Why can't I stay clean
like all those girls
353
00:20:51,213 --> 00:20:55,255
with their perfect messy bobs,
their slim black jeans...
354
00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:58,172
I'm a mess, I'm disgusting.
Even when I'm clean, I'm not.
355
00:20:58,255 --> 00:20:59,963
What are you on about? Who cares?
356
00:21:06,213 --> 00:21:07,755
-Let's take it off.
-Yeah?
357
00:21:08,463 --> 00:21:10,547
Hang on, just a sec, sorry, I...
358
00:21:10,630 --> 00:21:12,505
-What's up?
-I...
359
00:21:13,213 --> 00:21:15,755
-I can't.
-What do you mean?
360
00:21:16,630 --> 00:21:17,922
I need to leave, sorry.
361
00:21:18,005 --> 00:21:19,547
-You're leaving?
-Yes.
362
00:21:19,630 --> 00:21:21,088
There's an hour left.
363
00:21:31,255 --> 00:21:32,088
Elsa!
364
00:21:34,047 --> 00:21:35,047
Elsa!
365
00:21:35,838 --> 00:21:36,838
Elsa, wait.
366
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:40,880
Elsa.
367
00:21:41,505 --> 00:21:42,505
Wait up!
368
00:21:43,297 --> 00:21:44,838
Shit, I'm sorry.
369
00:21:46,255 --> 00:21:49,005
-I'm sorry, what's wrong?
-Everything.
370
00:21:49,505 --> 00:21:50,505
I'm rubbish.
371
00:21:50,838 --> 00:21:53,380
You're anything but rubbish.
372
00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:55,422
You're beautiful.
373
00:21:57,422 --> 00:21:59,630
You're so pretty
I forgot about your jumper.
374
00:22:02,005 --> 00:22:03,380
Don't leave like this.
375
00:22:21,713 --> 00:22:23,213
That's all well and good but...
376
00:22:23,297 --> 00:22:24,838
next time, you're fucking him.
377
00:22:24,922 --> 00:22:26,380
There won't be a next time.
378
00:22:34,130 --> 00:22:35,588
What's going on?
379
00:22:37,172 --> 00:22:39,047
You're acting so weird tonight.
380
00:22:40,172 --> 00:22:41,922
Are you hiding something from me?
381
00:22:48,213 --> 00:22:49,213
Huh?
382
00:22:51,588 --> 00:22:53,213
OK, we have to confess.
383
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,422
Charlotte has to confess.
384
00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:01,588
Are you coming?
385
00:23:07,505 --> 00:23:09,797
We didn't find anywhere
for your birthday party.
386
00:23:11,130 --> 00:23:12,130
Phew...
387
00:23:13,088 --> 00:23:14,088
I was so worried.
388
00:23:18,463 --> 00:23:19,463
And...
389
00:23:22,588 --> 00:23:24,755
And... And...
390
00:23:25,297 --> 00:23:26,297
And...
391
00:23:26,713 --> 00:23:27,713
And... And...
392
00:23:27,797 --> 00:23:30,630
don't expect a group gift
because no one chipped in.
393
00:23:35,088 --> 00:23:36,088
For now.
394
00:23:37,005 --> 00:23:38,130
Yes, for now.
395
00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:46,338
Subtitled by: Julia Knapp
28449
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