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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,172 --> 00:00:08,172 He's a whore. 2 00:00:09,172 --> 00:00:12,630 -Who are we talking about? -Jules! The guy. He's a man-whore. 3 00:00:14,422 --> 00:00:15,463 I don't get it. 4 00:00:15,547 --> 00:00:16,880 And in the sack? 5 00:00:17,963 --> 00:00:19,588 -What? -Tonight's chick. 6 00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,255 We didn't have sex. 7 00:00:25,172 --> 00:00:27,338 -Weren't you supposed to? -Yes. 8 00:00:28,380 --> 00:00:32,255 Actually, her friend booked me to help her get over a breakup. 9 00:00:32,338 --> 00:00:35,922 But I was given a full-on script, I'm like the perfect guy... 10 00:00:36,505 --> 00:00:38,963 What's nice is she's already payed for two dates. 11 00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:41,255 -Two paid up front with a script? -Yep. 12 00:00:41,338 --> 00:00:43,380 Lucky you. Who are you supposed to be? 13 00:00:43,672 --> 00:00:48,963 -A schoolteacher. Cool, normal, romantic. -Nice! I've never had a client like that. 14 00:00:51,713 --> 00:00:52,838 Hey, don't worry. 15 00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:54,838 -What could go wrong? -Oh, I don't know. 16 00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:56,755 Gonorrhea? Herpes? 17 00:00:59,047 --> 00:01:01,213 Or worse! She could fall in love. 18 00:01:01,297 --> 00:01:04,255 This isn't Pretty Woman. She won't fall in love with a hooker. 19 00:01:05,005 --> 00:01:08,005 Except she doesn't know he's a hooker! 20 00:01:09,047 --> 00:01:10,047 Are you thick? 21 00:01:10,797 --> 00:01:13,463 In Pretty Woman, he knows, he's the one paying. 22 00:01:13,547 --> 00:01:16,463 In this case, you're paying... Are you paying, by the way? 23 00:01:17,255 --> 00:01:18,255 Yeah. 24 00:01:18,838 --> 00:01:22,797 Honestly, it's super unlikely she'll fall in love with him, Milou. 25 00:01:23,255 --> 00:01:26,672 He's the type of guy who says, "Bon appétit!" Elsa hates-- 26 00:01:26,755 --> 00:01:28,338 Shut up! Change of address. 27 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,172 -What do you want-- -Shut up! 28 00:01:30,255 --> 00:01:32,713 A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES 29 00:01:32,797 --> 00:01:34,755 THE LAME PLAN 30 00:01:34,838 --> 00:01:36,505 THE CRAZY PLAN 31 00:01:36,588 --> 00:01:39,130 THE BOOTY PLAN 32 00:01:39,213 --> 00:01:41,088 THE HOOK-UP PLAN 33 00:01:43,172 --> 00:01:45,172 -It'll be quicker on foot. -Yeah, yeah... 34 00:01:45,255 --> 00:01:48,088 Sorry about her. Give her a good rating anyway. 35 00:01:48,172 --> 00:01:49,422 -Bye, Amine! -Bye! 36 00:01:50,838 --> 00:01:54,047 -This is a big mistake. -Shut it until we get to her place. 37 00:01:54,130 --> 00:01:57,630 -Then you can tell her everything. -Just trust me! 38 00:01:58,047 --> 00:02:01,380 I briefed the guy really well. I pimped him so she digged him. 39 00:02:02,672 --> 00:02:04,422 Because you met him in person? 40 00:02:15,713 --> 00:02:16,547 Jules? 41 00:02:16,630 --> 00:02:19,922 -It's ringing, it's ringing. It's her! -What should I say? 42 00:02:20,463 --> 00:02:24,588 Dinner Friday night. 43 00:02:25,505 --> 00:02:28,297 Yeah, right, you found it. In Charlotte's bag. 44 00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:31,172 No, on the bar at the party. 45 00:02:32,130 --> 00:02:33,505 ROGER LA GRENOUILLE, 8 P.M.? 46 00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:36,505 -Where are you? Can I pick it up? -I could drop it off. 47 00:02:37,005 --> 00:02:39,880 -I'd like to see you again. -You're wasting my time. Smile. 48 00:02:39,963 --> 00:02:41,505 -Like that? -There we go. 49 00:02:41,588 --> 00:02:44,047 -By the carousel? -Perfect. See you later. 50 00:02:44,463 --> 00:02:47,713 From now on, this is your new phone. 51 00:02:49,047 --> 00:02:51,047 How could you do this to her? 52 00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:54,088 Didn't she suffer enough with Max? It's disgusting. 53 00:02:54,172 --> 00:02:57,547 It's not what you think. It's a new app, like Deliveroo for dicks. 54 00:02:57,630 --> 00:03:00,380 There's something for everyone. Look at these winkles! 55 00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:03,213 -No. No. No. -These dongs, they're all guys. 56 00:03:04,422 --> 00:03:06,588 -What about saving Elsa? -Can't hear you! 57 00:03:10,338 --> 00:03:11,755 It's illegal, too. 58 00:03:12,297 --> 00:03:13,297 Hey! 59 00:03:15,172 --> 00:03:20,130 -You're so old-school, I like to give. -Oh, yeah? And how did you pay for this? 60 00:03:20,213 --> 00:03:23,630 Have you not lived rent-free for two years because you're broke? 61 00:03:23,713 --> 00:03:26,422 -This is getting vulgar. -Is your defense ready? 62 00:03:27,047 --> 00:03:28,963 Hey, Milou, chill out. 63 00:03:29,338 --> 00:03:31,255 Let it go. Think about Elsa. 64 00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:37,088 "It was really cool to spend time with this guy." 65 00:03:37,172 --> 00:03:40,255 "OK, I panicked but it did me a hell of a lot of good." 66 00:03:40,338 --> 00:03:42,172 "Sleep well, I love you, El." 67 00:03:46,838 --> 00:03:48,213 Stop sulking! 68 00:03:49,130 --> 00:03:52,463 I've only paid for two dates, it will loosen her up. 69 00:03:53,088 --> 00:03:56,172 If I get the tiniest hint of her getting attached... 70 00:03:56,255 --> 00:04:00,088 Then what? You'll stop talking to me? You'll be pretty lonely, I'm your BFF. 71 00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:02,630 Order us an Uber? 72 00:04:03,588 --> 00:04:05,588 Come on, we're not walking home! 73 00:04:06,505 --> 00:04:07,505 Milou... 74 00:04:08,338 --> 00:04:09,755 Oh, you're such a pain! 75 00:04:13,130 --> 00:04:16,005 -Such a pain! Milou! -You're a pain. 76 00:04:53,797 --> 00:04:56,588 NEW MESSAGE TO: JULES DUPONT 77 00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,047 WHERE ARE YOU? 78 00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:00,797 I'M COMING! 79 00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:05,380 Lame. 80 00:05:17,005 --> 00:05:19,380 Come on, one spoon for Mommy... 81 00:05:19,463 --> 00:05:22,755 -Come on. -Not sure about the sugar. 82 00:05:22,838 --> 00:05:27,047 It's not just sugar. Sometimes, it's fries, pasta, kebab. 83 00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:28,297 Even some straw. 84 00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:29,213 Rubbish! 85 00:05:29,297 --> 00:05:30,588 Have they left yet? 86 00:05:41,047 --> 00:05:42,797 Can you hear that waterfall? 87 00:05:43,422 --> 00:05:45,630 -It's Milou's morning wee. -Antoine! 88 00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,880 Now she's yelling at my brother for something really serious 89 00:05:48,963 --> 00:05:50,838 like a teaspoon in the wrong place. 90 00:05:50,922 --> 00:05:51,922 Oh, shit! 91 00:05:59,130 --> 00:06:00,213 Shit out of luck! 92 00:06:00,297 --> 00:06:02,255 Do you want to go food-shopping later? 93 00:06:02,338 --> 00:06:04,797 Why not. How about an antique fair too? 94 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,922 Brunch with your friends and their sprogs? 95 00:06:07,005 --> 00:06:08,547 Way to turn me on. 96 00:06:09,505 --> 00:06:11,713 You're such a potty mouth! 97 00:06:11,797 --> 00:06:14,463 You'll need to make an effort for your interview today. 98 00:06:14,547 --> 00:06:17,297 I'm not sure it's really the job for me. 99 00:06:18,005 --> 00:06:19,755 Manager of a pastry store. 100 00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:24,172 -And the boss looks like the #MeToo kind. -Sue him, then. 101 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:29,880 -Hello? -Who is it? 102 00:06:29,963 --> 00:06:31,422 Two seconds. It's your dad. 103 00:06:32,963 --> 00:06:35,380 Right, I'm off. Catch you before your Eurostar? 104 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:36,922 -OK, suits me. -See you! 105 00:06:39,297 --> 00:06:40,297 Yes, hello? 106 00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:43,172 I can't talk right now but meet me at 11, you know where. 107 00:06:44,005 --> 00:06:45,005 OK, perfect. 108 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,213 -Was that him? -Is my brother not here? 109 00:06:48,297 --> 00:06:49,838 Stop this! 110 00:06:49,922 --> 00:06:52,713 You haven't had the happy trimester yet, have you? 111 00:06:52,797 --> 00:06:53,797 I have, actually. 112 00:06:56,588 --> 00:06:58,047 Antoine, she's doing it again. 113 00:06:58,130 --> 00:07:00,880 She's doing it again. That's enough. 114 00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:03,213 Stop putting your keys there, we'll get robbed. 115 00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,422 Yes, they'll steal your non-stick pans. 116 00:07:05,505 --> 00:07:09,172 -OK, enjoy yoga! Have a good day! -I will! 117 00:07:10,338 --> 00:07:12,172 -Antoine? -In the bathroom. 118 00:07:14,213 --> 00:07:16,463 -Did you get my Weetabix? -Morning. 119 00:07:16,547 --> 00:07:20,338 -Morning. Did you get my Weetabix? -Yes, in the kitchen. 120 00:07:21,380 --> 00:07:23,505 Best bro del mundo! 121 00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:28,713 See you! 122 00:07:28,797 --> 00:07:30,463 -Flush? -No time! 123 00:07:33,922 --> 00:07:35,463 NEW MESSAGE TO: JULES DUPONT 124 00:07:35,547 --> 00:07:38,047 FANCY A DRINK WITH MISS PIGGY ON FRIDAY? 125 00:07:38,922 --> 00:07:40,088 So lame... 126 00:07:41,922 --> 00:07:42,922 Hey. 127 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,047 Hey. 128 00:07:46,338 --> 00:07:47,338 Hello. 129 00:07:48,005 --> 00:07:51,213 -You look like you're feeling better? -Yep, absolutely. 130 00:07:51,630 --> 00:07:52,630 Yeah. 131 00:07:53,130 --> 00:07:56,463 -Did you hear about the sports hall? -Vaguely. 132 00:07:58,213 --> 00:07:59,630 Talk about touchy... 133 00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:02,672 The news crews are already there. 134 00:08:03,505 --> 00:08:07,213 -I don't even know what to tell them. -The truth? Oh, no, wait. 135 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,713 Are you going to kick them out? 136 00:08:12,297 --> 00:08:15,172 I don't know. Wasn't that your idea of a good solution? 137 00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:17,380 Bye. 138 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:22,588 Yeah. Bye. 139 00:08:28,130 --> 00:08:30,005 Yes, they entered without permission, 140 00:08:30,088 --> 00:08:32,297 but the hall's been closed for three months. 141 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,838 It was freezing last night, they had nowhere else to go. 142 00:08:38,130 --> 00:08:41,380 Sir, migrants are humans too, you know. 143 00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:47,130 OK. Tell me, apart from you, who has a problem with them being there? 144 00:08:48,380 --> 00:08:52,505 So, you can take your complaint and shove it right up your ass. 145 00:08:52,588 --> 00:08:53,630 Thanks for your call. 146 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,088 -Hey. -Hey. 147 00:09:08,838 --> 00:09:10,047 What's going on? 148 00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:12,547 I paid you for sex, not for snacks and then bed. 149 00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:15,755 -I'm sorry but she's like Fort Knox. -She's scared, man. 150 00:09:15,838 --> 00:09:18,088 That's why I'm paying you, to unlock the fort. 151 00:09:18,172 --> 00:09:21,505 Usually, when I enter the stage, the door is wide open... 152 00:09:22,297 --> 00:09:24,005 No means no, golden rule. 153 00:09:25,088 --> 00:09:26,755 Don't you need milk with that? 154 00:09:26,838 --> 00:09:29,130 Can you focus for a second, please? 155 00:09:29,547 --> 00:09:32,130 Right. Phase two. Here's the program. 156 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,672 OK, you do exactly what's written there. Then... 157 00:09:37,713 --> 00:09:38,838 give her this to eat. 158 00:09:39,838 --> 00:09:41,505 She'll spill it, for sure. 159 00:09:41,588 --> 00:09:44,963 Take her top off... You know how it goes. 160 00:09:46,963 --> 00:09:49,588 -OK, I'll try. -No, you'll give it your all. 161 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:50,838 Give it your all, man! 162 00:09:52,338 --> 00:09:55,130 Did you learn your lines about your dad and the watchman? 163 00:09:55,213 --> 00:09:56,297 Yeah... 164 00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:59,338 -You don't sound convinced. Did you? -Yes. Don't you trust me? 165 00:09:59,422 --> 00:10:01,797 Yeah... Let's say I do. 166 00:10:02,963 --> 00:10:04,880 Right. Oh, slightly awkward detail. 167 00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:06,922 Your card was declined. 168 00:10:08,213 --> 00:10:09,130 Really? 169 00:10:09,213 --> 00:10:11,797 Take care of it before tonight or this is for me. 170 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:12,922 Yeah, all right. 171 00:10:13,005 --> 00:10:16,088 I have, like, 2,000 credit cards, who do you think I am? 172 00:10:19,963 --> 00:10:20,963 Jules! Jules! 173 00:10:21,338 --> 00:10:23,755 What did you think of her? Cute, right? 174 00:10:24,547 --> 00:10:27,047 -Is she cute or not? -What difference does it make? 175 00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:29,047 You like her... 176 00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:33,005 I knew it. Give it your all! I'm with you all the way. 177 00:10:37,172 --> 00:10:38,172 I'm a genius! 178 00:10:45,755 --> 00:10:47,422 Benjy, my buddy! 179 00:10:48,630 --> 00:10:49,630 How's it going? 180 00:10:50,338 --> 00:10:53,380 -Did you like it? -He's made a lot of progress. 181 00:10:53,755 --> 00:10:55,713 -Hi, Manon. -How's it going? 182 00:10:57,463 --> 00:10:59,755 -You coming to Karine's drinks? -I don't know. 183 00:10:59,838 --> 00:11:03,630 -I don't know, maybe. -You're in demand... 184 00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,255 It's my girlfriend's shopping list. 185 00:11:06,338 --> 00:11:07,463 And this. 186 00:11:09,172 --> 00:11:10,297 Right... 187 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:11,880 Yeah... 188 00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:15,172 -Right. See you later. -See you later. 189 00:11:17,547 --> 00:11:20,255 Now, in Weetabix boxes, there's, like, 16 biscuits. 190 00:11:20,338 --> 00:11:24,172 There used to be 32, 34 if you were lucky. Crazy, right? 191 00:11:24,255 --> 00:11:26,422 -That's marketing for you. -Marketing? 192 00:11:26,505 --> 00:11:30,130 Half the number of biscuits so that you buy twice as many boxes. 193 00:11:30,213 --> 00:11:31,463 -It makes sense. -Yeah. 194 00:11:31,797 --> 00:11:34,547 By the way, darling, could you lend me 200 euros? 195 00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:37,047 Like today, right now, before 6:30 p.m.? 196 00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:42,255 -It's for Elsa's birthday. -I've already chipped in online. 197 00:11:43,130 --> 00:11:45,422 -Oh, yeah, the online kitty... -I don't know. 198 00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,297 -I'll see what I have. -Don't worry about it. 199 00:11:51,922 --> 00:11:55,172 I won't walk you to the train, this isn't Titanic. 200 00:11:55,255 --> 00:11:57,838 PROBLEM WITH YOUR CONTRACT. STAY IN PARIS. CALL ME. 201 00:11:58,297 --> 00:12:00,505 -Are you OK? -Yeah. 202 00:12:00,588 --> 00:12:01,963 Right, I'm off. 203 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,047 -See you! Bye, buddy! -See you next time! 204 00:12:23,922 --> 00:12:24,922 Hello. 205 00:12:32,672 --> 00:12:33,963 Cut the snow, please. 206 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,755 Fancy lunch with me? 207 00:12:38,047 --> 00:12:40,713 I might look unattainable but I'm cool. 208 00:12:41,422 --> 00:12:42,422 So they say. 209 00:12:44,255 --> 00:12:46,713 And my roommate is late so I have time. 210 00:12:48,422 --> 00:12:50,797 -Do I know you? -You might. 211 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:53,213 Oops. 212 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:55,880 The ad. 213 00:12:56,463 --> 00:12:58,422 The thing for... Carole! 214 00:12:58,838 --> 00:13:02,005 -Yeah? -The extra. He's from that ad. 215 00:13:02,505 --> 00:13:04,338 -The one who farts in the lift. -No! 216 00:13:04,422 --> 00:13:06,380 -You know, Flatuline! -Flatuline? 217 00:13:07,172 --> 00:13:08,630 The price of success, man. 218 00:13:08,713 --> 00:13:11,213 -How did it go? -Two secs, I'm still in character. 219 00:13:11,755 --> 00:13:12,755 It's not easy. 220 00:13:14,588 --> 00:13:16,880 It will never be finished before Baby arrives. 221 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,505 Are you an architect now? 222 00:13:19,422 --> 00:13:21,297 Hey, tea break is over, guys. 223 00:13:22,755 --> 00:13:25,880 How long do I have to lie to my brother about your mat leave? 224 00:13:25,963 --> 00:13:28,088 Antoine still thinks you're going to yoga? 225 00:13:28,172 --> 00:13:30,838 If I went as much as I say I do, I'd be the Dalai Lama. 226 00:13:32,963 --> 00:13:34,463 What about the hottie, Jules? 227 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:35,755 What are you waiting for? 228 00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:39,755 -I don't know, I have a mental block. -Don't force yourself. 229 00:13:39,838 --> 00:13:41,380 -You're not feeling it. -Really? 230 00:13:41,463 --> 00:13:42,630 -Yes. -No. 231 00:13:42,713 --> 00:13:43,838 Just send him a text. 232 00:13:43,922 --> 00:13:44,922 -No. -Yes. 233 00:13:45,005 --> 00:13:46,338 -No. -Yes. 234 00:13:46,422 --> 00:13:47,797 -Yes! -No! 235 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:49,213 She has a mental block. 236 00:13:49,297 --> 00:13:51,130 Yes. But what do I say? 237 00:13:51,838 --> 00:13:54,463 If it's to end up in little pieces and fed to pigs... 238 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,922 -A guy killed a girl he met on Tinder. -Yeah? 239 00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,505 That's Black Mirror. 240 00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:00,838 You're just rusty, honey. 241 00:14:00,922 --> 00:14:01,963 Trust me! 242 00:14:02,047 --> 00:14:04,713 Hang on. Let me do this. Hang on! 243 00:14:04,797 --> 00:14:06,838 Just a sec. Right. 244 00:14:08,255 --> 00:14:10,005 Simple, direct... 245 00:14:10,713 --> 00:14:12,172 cute and sent. 246 00:14:12,255 --> 00:14:14,588 -Oh, no! -You didn't send that? 247 00:14:14,963 --> 00:14:16,297 Oh, no, no, no! 248 00:14:17,755 --> 00:14:19,797 Shit, all this is potato starch? 249 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:21,463 That's the magic of cinema. 250 00:14:21,963 --> 00:14:25,338 -They're not going to wait for it to snow. -Absolutely. 251 00:14:30,047 --> 00:14:32,297 What's that thing? A walkie-talkie? 252 00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:35,005 Elsa's mate gave it to me, all part of the act. 253 00:14:35,588 --> 00:14:38,255 -So, it's Elsa now? -I don't get the text. Here. 254 00:14:39,463 --> 00:14:42,255 -Don't send any BS. -Your thing can't read emojis. 255 00:14:43,130 --> 00:14:45,880 I'll forward it to my phone so we can decode it. 256 00:14:47,338 --> 00:14:48,172 So? 257 00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:50,297 Peach, corn, heart. 258 00:14:51,213 --> 00:14:53,463 -She's up for it. -And yet... 259 00:14:53,547 --> 00:14:54,797 What shall we reply? 260 00:14:55,797 --> 00:14:56,630 Here. 261 00:15:00,172 --> 00:15:03,297 A theater? I'm supposed to spike her interest with a theater? 262 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:06,713 No need, she's a client. Just write what's on the paper. 263 00:15:08,505 --> 00:15:10,547 I'll just add a couple of eggplants... 264 00:15:11,213 --> 00:15:12,588 a peach and a tongue. 265 00:15:13,172 --> 00:15:14,380 -Classy. -Shit... 266 00:15:15,422 --> 00:15:17,338 Meet at the stage door. 267 00:15:18,088 --> 00:15:20,713 Déjazet Theater. 6:30 p.m. 268 00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:26,172 And the final touch: corn, donut, wet, wet. 269 00:15:26,255 --> 00:15:27,255 Done. 270 00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:34,880 -This will translate to a normal text? -Dude. Am I a geek or what? 271 00:15:36,213 --> 00:15:37,213 Forward it. 272 00:15:37,630 --> 00:15:38,630 He's replied! 273 00:15:40,047 --> 00:15:42,547 -What did he say? -Alien, alien, poop, baby. 274 00:15:43,005 --> 00:15:45,630 Stage door. Déjazet Theater. 6:30 p.m. 275 00:15:46,338 --> 00:15:48,755 Santa, hospital, hospital. 276 00:15:49,672 --> 00:15:50,713 Typical psychopath. 277 00:15:50,797 --> 00:15:51,880 It's positive, right? 278 00:15:51,963 --> 00:15:54,755 Well, it's not negative, and you have a date, girl! 279 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,172 The aliens must be a metaphor for us. 280 00:15:58,422 --> 00:16:00,963 And the Santa means you're a gift from Heaven. 281 00:16:01,297 --> 00:16:02,838 -You think so? -No. 282 00:16:06,005 --> 00:16:08,713 -Déjazet Theater. Intriguing, right? -Yeah! 283 00:16:08,797 --> 00:16:11,713 -He's original, I love it. -It's just a theater! 284 00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,422 What I don't get is the poop emoji. 285 00:16:14,838 --> 00:16:19,255 Ah, yeah! Maybe it's to say we're like two aliens... 286 00:16:19,797 --> 00:16:20,838 in this shitty world. 287 00:16:24,338 --> 00:16:27,672 Who cares! Just reply. Otherwise, it's like you're playing games. 288 00:16:27,755 --> 00:16:29,172 -And that's whorish. -Is it? 289 00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:30,547 -Yes. -Nonsense. 290 00:16:30,630 --> 00:16:32,297 -You're right, it's whorish. -Yep. 291 00:16:32,380 --> 00:16:35,255 -No! -You found a man in the fax-machine era. 292 00:16:36,297 --> 00:16:37,297 -Well, yeah. -OK. 293 00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:39,713 -You don't know anything. -Yes, I do. 294 00:16:49,463 --> 00:16:51,547 DEJAZET THEATER 295 00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:06,547 Sorry, I'm always late. 296 00:17:07,588 --> 00:17:10,005 Three minutes, I can forgive you. How are you? 297 00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:12,172 -Shall we? -Yes. 298 00:17:14,172 --> 00:17:15,297 Is it a surprise? 299 00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:18,005 Do you trust me? 300 00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:22,380 Yes. 301 00:17:24,588 --> 00:17:25,588 It's Jules. 302 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:29,672 Evening, sir. 303 00:17:29,755 --> 00:17:30,755 EMERGENCY EXIT 304 00:17:30,838 --> 00:17:32,630 Where are we going? What is this? 305 00:17:33,672 --> 00:17:36,463 -Sweet, you even planned a picnic. -Yeah. 306 00:17:36,547 --> 00:17:38,297 -What's in the boxes? -Meatballs. 307 00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:40,130 -Meatballs? -Don't you like them? 308 00:17:40,213 --> 00:17:41,630 -Meatball sandwiches? -Yes. 309 00:17:41,713 --> 00:17:43,338 I live for meatballs! 310 00:17:45,922 --> 00:17:48,005 What's going on? This is so cool. 311 00:17:48,088 --> 00:17:49,922 -How do you know this place? -Come. 312 00:17:50,005 --> 00:17:51,755 Have you always lived in Paris? 313 00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:55,338 I have but, actually, I don't look at the city anymore. 314 00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:58,422 I don't. We always go to the same places, it's boring. 315 00:17:58,505 --> 00:17:59,797 We're... Whoa! 316 00:18:00,630 --> 00:18:02,922 -This is incredible. So beautiful. -Come. 317 00:18:03,005 --> 00:18:07,088 So, you see, it's a shame, we should take time to enjoy it. 318 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,047 -Whoa! -Shush! 319 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,588 Come on! Come! 320 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,630 MANON: LUNCH TOMORROW? 321 00:18:29,713 --> 00:18:31,338 With pleasure. 322 00:18:35,922 --> 00:18:38,338 -Is that you? -No, it's Catherine Deneuve. 323 00:18:39,588 --> 00:18:43,005 -Did you stay till close? -No, we just chatted for a while. 324 00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:44,505 You know, pregnancy chat. 325 00:18:46,422 --> 00:18:49,130 -What are you doing? -I'm going to shower. 326 00:18:49,213 --> 00:18:50,213 Can I come with you? 327 00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:54,838 No, I don't feel like it. I'm fat and I don't want you to see me naked. 328 00:18:55,672 --> 00:18:57,713 I need some me time, I'm about to pop. 329 00:18:58,005 --> 00:18:59,922 -My little popcorn! -No. 330 00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:02,297 And set your phone to silent. 331 00:19:02,755 --> 00:19:04,505 You know I hate those beeps. 332 00:19:04,588 --> 00:19:09,463 We live in a world of stupid little beeps: dishwasher, TV, washing-machine, phone. 333 00:19:09,547 --> 00:19:11,005 I'm sick of it! 334 00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:15,130 Are you mad at me? 335 00:19:15,630 --> 00:19:16,630 No, don't worry. 336 00:19:17,172 --> 00:19:19,213 -OK, I love you. -Me too. 337 00:19:31,047 --> 00:19:32,255 It's really good. 338 00:19:50,547 --> 00:19:53,588 -This can't be the first time you do this. -I'm sorry? 339 00:19:53,672 --> 00:19:57,338 You know, the secret theater, the concert, the picnic. 340 00:20:00,088 --> 00:20:01,547 Fancy a sandwich? 341 00:20:02,463 --> 00:20:04,088 Nice swerve. 342 00:20:08,547 --> 00:20:09,672 OK, I'll confess. 343 00:20:10,505 --> 00:20:11,755 I came here as a kid. 344 00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:16,380 My father was a fan of music and theater and... 345 00:20:16,755 --> 00:20:19,672 he couldn't afford it but had a deal with the night watchman. 346 00:20:19,963 --> 00:20:20,963 Yeah? 347 00:20:21,838 --> 00:20:26,255 It's not the first time I come here but... you are the first girl I've come with. 348 00:20:34,963 --> 00:20:37,088 In my family, music is a religion. 349 00:20:43,255 --> 00:20:44,088 Shit! 350 00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:45,380 Shit. 351 00:20:45,463 --> 00:20:47,755 -Don't worry about it. -What an idiot! 352 00:20:48,130 --> 00:20:51,130 Why can't I stay clean like all those girls 353 00:20:51,213 --> 00:20:55,255 with their perfect messy bobs, their slim black jeans... 354 00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:58,172 I'm a mess, I'm disgusting. Even when I'm clean, I'm not. 355 00:20:58,255 --> 00:20:59,963 What are you on about? Who cares? 356 00:21:06,213 --> 00:21:07,755 -Let's take it off. -Yeah? 357 00:21:08,463 --> 00:21:10,547 Hang on, just a sec, sorry, I... 358 00:21:10,630 --> 00:21:12,505 -What's up? -I... 359 00:21:13,213 --> 00:21:15,755 -I can't. -What do you mean? 360 00:21:16,630 --> 00:21:17,922 I need to leave, sorry. 361 00:21:18,005 --> 00:21:19,547 -You're leaving? -Yes. 362 00:21:19,630 --> 00:21:21,088 There's an hour left. 363 00:21:31,255 --> 00:21:32,088 Elsa! 364 00:21:34,047 --> 00:21:35,047 Elsa! 365 00:21:35,838 --> 00:21:36,838 Elsa, wait. 366 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:40,880 Elsa. 367 00:21:41,505 --> 00:21:42,505 Wait up! 368 00:21:43,297 --> 00:21:44,838 Shit, I'm sorry. 369 00:21:46,255 --> 00:21:49,005 -I'm sorry, what's wrong? -Everything. 370 00:21:49,505 --> 00:21:50,505 I'm rubbish. 371 00:21:50,838 --> 00:21:53,380 You're anything but rubbish. 372 00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:55,422 You're beautiful. 373 00:21:57,422 --> 00:21:59,630 You're so pretty I forgot about your jumper. 374 00:22:02,005 --> 00:22:03,380 Don't leave like this. 375 00:22:21,713 --> 00:22:23,213 That's all well and good but... 376 00:22:23,297 --> 00:22:24,838 next time, you're fucking him. 377 00:22:24,922 --> 00:22:26,380 There won't be a next time. 378 00:22:34,130 --> 00:22:35,588 What's going on? 379 00:22:37,172 --> 00:22:39,047 You're acting so weird tonight. 380 00:22:40,172 --> 00:22:41,922 Are you hiding something from me? 381 00:22:48,213 --> 00:22:49,213 Huh? 382 00:22:51,588 --> 00:22:53,213 OK, we have to confess. 383 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,422 Charlotte has to confess. 384 00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:01,588 Are you coming? 385 00:23:07,505 --> 00:23:09,797 We didn't find anywhere for your birthday party. 386 00:23:11,130 --> 00:23:12,130 Phew... 387 00:23:13,088 --> 00:23:14,088 I was so worried. 388 00:23:18,463 --> 00:23:19,463 And... 389 00:23:22,588 --> 00:23:24,755 And... And... 390 00:23:25,297 --> 00:23:26,297 And... 391 00:23:26,713 --> 00:23:27,713 And... And... 392 00:23:27,797 --> 00:23:30,630 don't expect a group gift because no one chipped in. 393 00:23:35,088 --> 00:23:36,088 For now. 394 00:23:37,005 --> 00:23:38,130 Yes, for now. 395 00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:46,338 Subtitled by: Julia Knapp 28449

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