All language subtitles for Lodge 49 s02e03 DisOrientation.eng

- You mentioned Larry Loomis.
- I did?

Merrill said that only a couple
people complete the Magnum Opus.

- I think I might be one of 'em.
- Bill?

[LAUGHING] I'm Sean.
Bill Dudley was my father.

- Liz!
- Wait, so, Shamroxx is like, gone?

Janet said something new was
about to rise from the ashes.

Everyone has to come off
the road at some point.

The order desk. This is
where I started 20 years ago.

Oh my God.

El Confidente's real?

I guess it's time to
tell you about Mexico.

- The road to Guadalajara, baby.
- Yeah!

From Long Beach, it's
only... what, 35 hours?

What?

Hey, don't worry.

You're exactly where
you're supposed to be.

And I can prove it.

Reach behind the seat.
There's a beautiful painting.

[CHUCKLES]

This is kinda freakin' me out.

Well, I... I paint my dreams, you know?

Sometimes I see chimeras,
sometimes the future.

But, uh, it's a real thing.

You know, I got a group of doctors

who pay to study my brain. [LAUGHS]

Yeah, I see 'em when I...
I'm up here on business.

[LAUGHS]

L. MARVIN METZ: Suddenly, all the
pieces were falling into place.

Olaf had a twin.

Stone, still dangling
from the chandelier,

finally understood
that he'd been set up.

- Oh, my God.
- [STOPS CASSETTE]

You know,

I have a theory about L. Marvin Metz.

I think that he's a Lynx like us.

You ever notice that all his books

are set in a city where there's a lodge?

- Hmm.
- Mm.

Damn, you're right.

He's on his North American
book tour right now,

and if he comes to Guadalajara,
I'm gonna ask him in person.

[CHUCKLES]

So you were a Sovereign Protector.

Mm-hmm. Lodge 55.

It was one of the stops
on Larry's Grand Tour.

Ah.

It's all about the connections.

"The world is bound by secret knots."

Mm-hmm.

I remember reading that when
I was studying to be a knight.

Mm. Larry said you
were a great knight...

- Mm.
- ... and a true warrior.

Ah, Larry.

Hey, don't bust out crying. We
still got 20 hours left in the van.

[LAUGHING] Oh.

- [CHICKENS CLUCKING]
- Welcome to Lodge 55.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Our old building got condemned.

Membership dwindled.

We kept downsizing
until we arrived here.

"We"? Where's everyone else.

Well, "we" is me. I'm
the last member left.

- Oh.
- That's, uh, us arriving now.

I think it's still happening.

- [ERNIE CHUCKLES]
- EL CONFIDENTE: Ahh.

What the hell?

That's us later tonight.

The gold symbolizes the
scrolls or somethin'.

Why am I dressed like a mariachi?

Well, I... I paint the
destination, not the path.

[CHUCKLES] Okay.

So, what's the plan?

Little siesta, go into town,

and find your antiquarian, right?

Well... [SIGHS] not exactly.

We're not going to Guadalajara.
We're going someplace else.

Where?

A little place called Comala.

Strange place.

At noon, the shadows look... wrong.

The wind blows hot all the time,

even at midnight.

What are you talkin' about?

[SIGHS] Grab a couple
beers, and I'll explain.

That's when I won the
bowling bag from Larry,

but he didn't tell me the whole story.

I thought it was just
some old artifacts and shit

- that I could sell.
- Mm-hmm.

So I took 'em to the lodge
and I offered 'em around,

and there was this one
dude, Roberto N??ez,

and he was a bricklayer from Comala.

He was super into alchemy.

- [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES] There's always a few, huh?

Oh, sure. We have ours.
Blaise. And Dud, too.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah.

So Roberto offered
to trade me for a car.

Mm-hmm.

Turned out to be an old beater truck.

It was put together with Bondo.

- I said, "I don't think so."
- [LAUGHS]

But I told him I had this offer
from a high-end antiquarian

who offered me $10,000.

- Mm.
- So that's what I did.

I went to the antiquarian and
I gave him the bowling bag,

and he gave me 10 grand.

So when I got back to the lodge,

Roberto N??ez stuck a gun
in my face and took my money.

Jacked by a fellow Lynx.

- That is cold.
- Isn't it?

- Yeah.
- And then Larry calls me up.

It wasn't just some shit.

It was the scrolls.

So I went back to the antiquarian.

He said a week after we made the deal,

somebody broke into his
shop, stole a bunch of shit...

- Mm.
- ... and the bowling bag,

and then burned down the shop.

You think Roberto did it.

Well, yeah.

I mean, he stole my money
and took the scrolls.

- This is some heavy shit.
- Mm!

So that's why I brought you in.

I could use your assassin skills.

[CHUCKLES] Assassin skills?

Yeah, well, Larry told
me you were a Navy SEAL.

[CHUCKLING] No, man!

I was a radar man.

[CHUCKLES] Assassin skills.

Well, whatever. Hey...

I'm glad you're here.

I mean, I think we're,
like, brothers now, huh?

You know, like two old knights
fulfilling a promise to a fallen king.

[BOTTLES CLINK]

[SIGHS] So...

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

Tonight, we're going to
Comala to find Roberto N??ez.

That asshole has the scrolls.

[DOOR CREAKING]

[WHISPERS] Shh. Shh.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[CLATTERING, GLASS SHATTERS IN DISTANCE]

[WHISPERS] Huh?

Shh.

[FLASHLIGHT CLICKS]

[THUDDING]

The safe!

Damn! No cash!

There's no scrolls either.

Yeah, those, too.

You don't care anything
about the scrolls, do you?

You came just for the money.

I care about the scrolls,

but I'd like to get my 10 grand back.

This is all bullshit. And guess what?

I'm not a mariachi.

Sometimes things get scrambled.

[ANIMAL EXHALES]

[CHEWING, SLURPING SOUNDS]

- What?!
- Ugh!

[BOTH SCREAM]

Well, I think the antiquarian
beat us to Roberto,

got his revenge.

- But I think I know where to find him.
- [GASPS]

But first, let's take
some time to cool down.

- [GRUNTS]
- Okay?

You know, 'cause we're brothers.

We'll finish this job together.

[PATS SHOULDER]

[BIRD SQUAWKS]

["ABYSSINIAN SECRET" PLAYS]

["GRIS" PLAYS]

- [TATTOO NEEDLE BUZZING]
- [GRUNTS]

Aah!

- [ERNIE GASPING]
-
Solo tengo tu recuerdo en mi

And El Confidente was
passed out next to me,

and we were getting
the same dumbass tattoo.

[GASPS]

I took off in the tiger
van and drove home.

[CHUCKLING]

Oh, my God!

What?!

Okay, okay, okay.

Yep. Mm-hmm.

All right, I'll need to, uh...

I'll need to get home,
pack a few things.

- What are you talking about?
- Mexico.

We have to go back.

Did you hear a word I just said?

It was a nightmare.

Because you went without
me, okay? I'm your squire.

If there's a quest, I need to go.

There's nothing down
there but dust and shadow,

and El Confidente is
just another con man.

He's not a con man. He's not a con...

- [GROANS]
- Okay, he can see the future.

That's why they call him El Confidente.

He has confidence.
He's a confidence man.

Ernie, look, the scrolls,
they were right there.

- I mean, you were so close.
- There's no scrolls!

And if they do exist,
they're just paper...

[CHUCKLES]

... moldy and worthless,
no use to anyone.

I'm done with it.

I'm back in reality.

I got bills to pay. I
got my Caddy in the shop.

- I'm on the order desk.
- No, no. No.

You can't settle for the order desk.

You're a road man!

That's what you were
moanin' about last night.

I was in denial,

feelin' sorry for myself.

But now...

the order desk is just what I need.

God.

It's nice and quiet and normal.

No dead bodies.

No donkey unicorn.

Are you... are you... are you sure?

Personally, I'd take the the
donkey-corn over the order desk.

[GROANS]

Uh, Ern... Ernie!

[DOOR CLOSES]

JEREMY: Well, so here at Higher Steaks,

we like to ask the question,
what do people want?

The answer is...

Is it Higher Steaks?

[CHUCKLES] Yes, it is!

Higher Steaks. Everything
is Higher Steaks now.

Everything.

[CLEARS THROAT] Life
or death. Every day.

Do you really need to interview me?

This isn't Shamroxx, Liz.

No. No, you're right.
This is Higher Steaks.

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

[CLEARS THROAT] So, uh, tell me about

your last job experience.

Uh, my boss was a total psycho.

He got busted by the Feds.

Well, that sounds, um...

challenging,

and yet, um, fulfilling.

Does it?

I just remember seeing
you at the temp office,

lost and drifting and terrified.

But, hey, here we are, together again,

and everything's great!

This is a really upscale...
eating experience,

and I'm confident that we'll all rise

- to meet the f... fulfilling challenge...
- Jeremy, Jeremy.

- Hey.
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]

It'll be fine. Okay?

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

Thank you.

You're hired. Of course you're hired.

You were always gonna be hired.

[CHUCKLES] All this...
this was all Kabuki.

Just stupid, stupid Kabuki.

- Great.
- Yeah, whew!

So...

according to El Confidente...
who is apparently real?

Yep.

Um, somewhere in Guadalajara,

there's a vengeful antiquarian

who might be in
possession of the scrolls.

That's my understanding.

Wow.

That's a lot.

[CHUCKLING] Yeah.

You have a plan, or...

Well... well, we need
El Confidente first,

and I can't find any info on Lodge 55.

There's no current address,
and Ernie is no help.

He's in some kind of
a mood or somethin'.

One thing at a time.

Um, I tried a new fermentation process

using, uh, Glauber's
Pharmacopoeia Spagyrica.

Should have a little more kick.

Great, great. I... I need it.

The dickheads at the hospital,

they're giving me grief about my bill.

Um, any progress on the diary?

No.

No.

But I wanna show you
somethin'. Follow me.

Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa!

Whoa. Okay.

So are y... are you livin' here?

Just for the last few months.

I was over at the Driftwood
apartments for a long time,

but the owner died,

investment group bought the property,

tripled the rent, so here I am.

Yeah, that's crazy. Is that even legal?

Yep. You can't fight progress.

I'm good.

This place is safe and secure.
It's got everything I need.

And more importantly, I set up my lab...

- Magnum Opus HQ.
- Yeah. [CHUCKLING] Yeah.

So cool. What's that?

Philosophic egg.

It's a key component.

It's where materials
mingle and then emerge

as a new substance totally reborn.

These dream images
are coded instructions

for the material process.

Yeah.

Dreams.

Dreams are important, right?

Oh, yeah. Carl Jung was
obsessed with alchemy.

His whole theory of the unconscious

- comes out of it.
- Yeah.

The... the reason I mention it

is 'cause Larry sort of
came to me in a dream.

Yeah. We were in the tavern,

and he told me to find Thermosaurus.

[CHUCKLES]

By which he meant the holy grail,

by which he meant the scrolls.

Yeah.

And his mom was there, too.

That's pretty specific.

Yeah, it... it could've been a dream,

but it also sounds like it
might've been a visitation.

Just throwin' that out there.

You mean, like, from Larry's ghost?

["I WAS A MOD BEFORE
YOU WAS A MOD" PLAYS]

[CRASH]
Drop some
blues and away we go

I always dreaded sports at school.

Didn't exactly fit in with the lads.

God, all those wasted afternoons
standing on the sidelines,

feeling scared and useless.

All I remember is the cold and the damp,

wishing I was somewhere else.

[SIGHS]

I fit in.

Well, you know, when you're
big and strong and powerful,

you fit in whether or not
you really feel like you do.

[CHUCKLES]

Played linebacker for Wilson. All-CIF.

I just hated it after a while.

But made my dad proud, so...

Well, he'd be proud of you now.

Sovereign Protector.

You know, you're always
talking about ways

to boost morale around here,

make happy hour, you know, more happy.

Yeah. Are you thinking
of restoring tabs?

Because I think that
would go a long way to...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no. Somethin' even better.

Naming of the Dead.

Yeah! It's supposed
to be an annual event,

but Larry just blew it
off like everything else.

Do you really think a
marathon candle-lit eulogy

of departed Lynx is the
best way to promote...

- [DISPENSING BEER]
- ... you know, mirth?

It's our duty.

That's why people are
feeling down around here,

because they feel like
we've lost our sense of duty.

No, this is perfect! We can order pizza.

Yeah! Naming of the Dead!

You know what?

I'm gonna go get those
robes out of storage.

- [EMPLOYEES MURMURING]
- "DisOrientation."

It's a play on words.

[MURMURING STOPS]

Here's a fact...

Some of you can handle Higher Steaks.

Others, frankly, cannot.

And that is why our first
team-building exercise

will be human chess.

But first...

a message.

My name is Janet Price,

and I demand Higher Steaks.

Why start a restaurant
dedicated to the idea

that food is a
life-or-death proposition?

Doesn't life already depend on food?

Well, to an extent.

Not long ago, I was stuck.

Yes, I was rich and powerful

and being hailed throughout
the industry as a visionary

who was changing the
way the world thinks

about the acquisition and restructuring

of regional broadline
distribution chains.

But on the inside,

I felt wretched and alone.

So one night,

on a boat in the middle of a harbor

during an exclusive
corporate-bonding event,

my empty core exploded

in a big bang of spiritual rebellion.

I jumped ship.

But then a voice,

my inner Godhead,

roared one thing...

"Swim, Janet. Swim."

- So Janet swam.
- [SIGHS]

[LOWERED VOICE] She
stole your story, Liz.

Whatever. I don't have a story.

Exactly. We don't own
our stories anymore.

The author is dead.

[SIGHS]

[TELEPHONE RINGING IN DISTANCE]

ERNIE: Sorry again. Got
replacement parts on the way.

Bob, I got another call
about defective ballcocks.

Have you talked to the factory?

I gave 'em hell all morning.

Defective Ballcocks?
You're the expert, Ernie.

[SCOFFS] Oh, boy. Here comes the boom.

Yeah, your ballcocks don't work.

That's why you're off the
road and on the order desk.

Beautiful Jeff is trolling you, Ernie.

That's what people do
these days. They troll.

You need to troll him back.

Saw Mooch ordered a couple threaders.

Yeah. So?

We have them in stock
here, so my advice...

tell him you'll drop
them off yourself today.

Save him the shipping price.

He'll remember you saved him 50 bucks,

and he'll come find
you for the next sale.

Right.

Okay. Thanks, Ernie.

And, uh...

enjoy the phones, man.

You're gonna die at that desk.

- [CHUCKLES]
- You, too, Speedy.

Speedy?

Oh, boy.

Poor Speedy.

Liz, your move.

Jeremy.

Hey!

Take her out.

Come on.

[BREATHING HEAVILY] I can't. I can't.

She's just a pawn.

You're a bishop.

She should be the queen!

[GROANING]

I think I'm having a heart attack.

I just want to run out the
door and just go running

for hundreds and hundreds of miles.

I don't think that's a heart attack.

- [JEREMY GROANS]
- CHAMP: Have a seat. All right.

- Okay. You're okay.
- [GROANING CONTINUES]

Liz...

you're manager.

Jeremy...

bar.

[EXHALES SHARPLY] Oh, thank God.

- And checkmate.
- GERSON: Oh! [LAUGHS]

[APPLAUSE]

So, what kind of fish do you get?

Mm, off the jetty...
rockfish, amberjack, halibut.

Nice. Very "Island
of the Blue Dolphins."

Yeah, when society collapses,
I'll be able to feed myself.

Yes, you and your army
of violent scavengers.

Society not going to collapse.

You still have to go to college.

[DOOR BELL DINGS]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

- [MUZAK PLAYS]
- Hi.

I was just driving by, and I
saw the old Dudley & Son sign,

and, uh... I don't know,
something told me to stop by.

And then I saw you in here dressed like

you're on your way to Monte Carlo.

[SCOFFS] No, no.

I'm, uh, just hanging out in Donuts.

Wanna have a cup of coffee?

- Higher Steaks. Hmm, hmm.
- It's new.

I used to work at Shamroxx,
so this is a step up, sort of.

[CHUCKLES] Shamroxx?

- Mm.
- Well, you look great.

Though your skin looks a little dry.

Are you drinking enough water?

Uh, no. Probably not.

- [CHUCKLES] Yesterday was nuts.
- I know. Thanks for helping out.

I w... I was thinking
about you and your brother.

Your dad was such a nice guy.

I read about what happened to him.

It... it sounds like
you've had a hell of a year.

Yeah, I guess so.

This may sound weird, but...

I'd love it if you guys could come over

and... and let me cook dinner for you.

Okay.

- [THUNDER RUMBLING]
- CLARA: Some lodges are nicer than others,

but they all have their quirks.

I usually get to explore
whatever city I'm in.

Do you have a favorite city?

[RAIN FALLING]

I'd say Turin.

Something happened while I was there.

Or I should say nothing happened.

It was autumn time,

and I was walking on me
own in Piazza San Carlo,

and suddenly, there was
something strange and menacing

about the late afternoon light.

And I just stood there,

paralyzed,

like a statue staring at
my own shadow for eternity.

But it was only a moment,

and then it all went dark after that.

Checked myself into a psychiatric
ward for a couple of weeks.

I've never told anyone this.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

Well...

Turin sounds great.

[CHUCKLES]

I saw doctors, but it was
the lodge that got me back.

I read about Harwood Fritz Merrill.

He had similar episodes.

Also developed a seizure condition.

He devised his own alchemical remedies,

like the Orbiscope.

See, I love Turin 'cause it's
the first point on a new map,

- my own map.
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]

And from there, I found my way
to a different, better place.

[CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY]

I started having
seizures a few years ago.

What?

Oh, Connie, darling.

The diagnosis, uh...

isn't, uh... good.

I didn't run away from Long Beach

because of my shit
show of a personal life,

though that's part of it.

[VOICE BREAKS] I was
running away from...

You can say it.

I'm scared...

to die.

It's as stupid and simple as that.

I'm scared that my life

will end without a
chance to actually see it

or understand it.

I see myself on a night in
Chicago, like, 30 years ago.

It was after deadline,

and the office had
cleared out to the bar,

but I stuck around that night.

I turned in a big feature and
felt like celebrating alone,

so I poured myself a little something

and I went to the window.

It was snowing outside, and...

[VOICE BREAKING] and...
and now, from far away,

I can see that young
woman at the window,

triumphant, in love with the
night and the falling snow,

and she's like this
stranger I'll never meet.

But if I could...

If I could...

If I could open a door somewhere

and find her...

... I wouldn't be afraid anymore.

Aw, man, wow. This...
now this, this is art.

- This is great.
- Mm.

Yeah. I love the ponies.

I hit a trifecta last week at El Rayo.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, nice! The sport of kings!

The track is just one of
my revenue streams. [LAUGHS]

Oh.

Toast to Dudley & Son & Daughter.

May you vanquish all your enemies

and ride again on the winds of commerce.

[LAUGHING] I don't know
what the hell I'm saying!

No, it's perfect. Thank you.

- [GLASSES CLINK]
- Whoo!

- Mm.
- [CLEARS THROAT]

Mmm. Mmm!

Mmm.

I'm really impressed with
your entrepreneurial spirit.

Getting out there, knocking on doors.

Yeah, yeah, well, you
know, I gave it a shot,

and, uh, now I'm just
tryin' to take a break.

You know, tryin' to...
tryin' to figure out, uh,

scalability or... right?
Is that... whatever.

Um, yeah, it's tough
with my leg, too, so...

There's nothing more
important than health.

And the fastest way to heal
is to stay fydrated.

Yeah. You mean "hydrated."

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

No, I mean "fydrated."

- Oh.
- And staying fydrated

keeps your pores nice and
healthy... [WHISPERS] FYI.

[NORMAL VOICE] Fydro combines the
elemental power of fire and water.

It's a metaphysical fydration system

fully optimized with minerals,
auras, and antioxidants. Try it.

- [INHALES SHARPLY]
- [SIGHS] Tastes like water.

It transcends water.

It's the essence of fydration.

Well, thank you.

How'd you like to take
some home with you?

- Oh...
- Uh, sure.

Great!

Do you want the store price
or the insider Mega Deal?

Way more value with the Mega Deal.

3 cases for 200 bucks.

I'll be right back.

DUD: Wait, I...

Oh, my God.

This whole thing was a sales pitch, Dud.

- It's a pyramid scheme.
- Wow, yeah, you know what?

I think somethin's
kinda off with this lady,

and I can always tell,

so I think we should probably just go.

Yeah. Whoa.

Whew!

Oh, hey, Lenore, uh, you know,

somethin' just came up, and we gotta go.

Oh. Okay.

I'll load these into your car.

No! No. We... we appreciate
the offer for the Mega Deal.

Mm-hmm. It's just... it's not for us.

- Mnh-mnh.
- Yeah.

I knew it. No good deed goes unpunished.

I save your life,

I invite you into my home,

and all you do is insult me!

Okay, whoa! [CHUCKLES] You
didn't save my life, all right?

The guy wasn't trying to kill me.

I mean... I mean, well, he
did try to murder me later,

- but that was...
- No, it's really out of line

- using our dad to sell us this crap.
- Yeah.

Your dad?

Your dad would be so ashamed of you two!

- Yeah?
- His... h... his son is an unemployed drug addict.

- A drug addict?
- And his daughter...

Oh, he talked about you like
you were gonna be the queen!

But no! Instead, you're a waitress

with bad skin, working at a titty bar!

I do not have bad
skin, you crazy bitch!

[GASPS] Get...

- [LIZ SCREAMS]
- ... out of my house!

- DUD: Oh!
- LIZ: Oh, my... Oh!

Get the hell out of my house!
Get the hell out of my house!

- Aah!
- Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! She's crazy!

- [PANTING]
- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

- [GRUNTING]
- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

[BLUES MUSIC PLAYING]

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

Huh?

Larry.

Um, so, I just wanna kinda
make sure that everything

was still on track, because,
um, 'cause I've been getting

a lot of calls from the
hospital about my bill.

What? No one does that to my client.

N... no one.

I will destroy them,
if that's what you want.

No, no, no. No, no, no. I
don't want that. I just...

You said that you were gonna
take care of all the paperwork

and make sure all my bills were paid.

- That's... that's it.
- Oh, yeah, Dud, don't worry about that.

No, I have, um, filed
a motion on your behalf

with the Superior Court.

And if they object, then
I'll subpoena the judge,

and we'll take it to the grand jury.

G... great. Awesome.
That sounds like a plan.

- Thanks. Yeah.
- Wha... the office is calling.

- Okay.
- So...

- Take your time.
- Okay. Hello.

Hey, Dud, uh, do you think there's
anything off with your lawyer?

You mean my law provider?

She asked me about the True Lodge.

What the hell do I know
about the True Lodge?

Maybe she's just being thorough.

She asked me to tell her the name

of the Sovereign Protector of Lodge 1.

What does that matter to her?

Who is the Sovereign
Protector of Lodge 1?

I don't know.

It's only known by certain
people on certain floors.

My point is, none of that has
anything to do with your shark attack.

Uh...

[DOOR CLOSES]

Well, sorry I'm late for
my... torture session.

I got lost again on the way down here.

I swear, some of the corridors
upstairs make no sense.

[SCOTTISH ACCENT] That's by design.

One of Merrill's techniques.

- He thought it was good to feel lost.
- [SCOFFS]

[COUGHING] Hmm.

[ENGLISH ACCENT] Have you had
a chance to read his monograph

on architectural disorientation?

Clara? Are you in here?

[WHIRRING, LOW BUZZING]

[SCOTTISH ACCENT] No, just me.

- [GASPS]
- No, don't!

What the hell?

Suppose, Connie,

it's time to bring you
into the True Lodge.

You were speedy in name,

but not in fact...

the cheapest of ironies.

Trees are just hairs

on the scalp of the Earth,

and we are lice crawling through them.

You were the slowest louse,

which was fast enough to make you a man.

Godspeed, Speedy.

That was, uh...

really nice, Bob.

I don't know if it scans,

but I... I wanted to
lean into the emotion.

Speedy, I'm sorry.

I said he was gonna die
in that chair, and he did.

I said the same thing
to Ernie. I take it back.

It's not your fault, Jeff. You
can't cause it by saying it.

Nobody has that kinda power.

You just foresaw the inevitable.

[TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Hey. Hey!

- Please stop toying with me.
- What?

Avery thought it would be so
easy, just feed you a story

and... and then keep
finessing things until I got

all the information I wanted. But you...

I mean, you had me figured out
from the beginning, didn't you?

Uh, wait. Sorry. You know Avery?

Okay, just...

You're trying to
complete the Magnum Opus?

N... no, no, no. The
Magnum Opus is a fairy tale.

There is no magical
formula to create gold.

But the scrolls are still valuable.

[SIGHS] Let me... okay,
let me ask you this.

What do you know about Bitcoin?

Or... or cryptocurrency in general?

Nothing.

Okay, so it's basically
a made-up currency.

Mm-hmm, right, but isn't
all currency made up?

I mean, like, if people
believe lemons are money,

- then lemons are money.
- Exactly. Right?

- So, okay, I don't want to get too in the weeds on this...
- Mm.

... but Bitcoin, it's... it's...
it's like modern alchemy, right?

You solve a riddle, and you create gold.

So Avery and I work for
these people who believe

that the original algorithm for Bitcoin

is based on the scrolls
of Harwood Fritz Merrill.

And, I mean, the True
Lodge set it all in motion,

but we never knew how or when or where

until I saw the news
report about the mummy,

and I caught a glimpse of this,

which, you know, we know to
be an emblem of the True Lodge.

So I contacted Avery.

He showed up here and he
pieced it all together.

Where is Avery?

Antarctica, but that's
not important now.

Look, this all goes back to
Wallace Smith and Jackie Loomis.

They brought the scrolls
here to Long Beach, right?

They... they somehow got in touch

with the engineers at Orbis
and the Parabola Group...

- [LAUGHING]
- ... and... and the rest is kind of hazy,

but what's important is
that whoever has the scrolls

can unlock Bitcoin and make millions.

Wow. Wow!

So it is a formula for making gold.

That's what it is.
It's a formula for ma...

Not magic gold. I get that.

But, uh...

Wait. So what about Smith's diary?

Oh, um... oh, yeah.

You can... you can give
this back to Blaise.

- Oh.
- That is, um...

- Ooh.
- That was a dead end.

But what we need to know
now is where to go in Mexico.

Dud, if you can help us,

we will make you very rich.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah.

I mean... [CHUCKLES]

I was really counting
on that shark money,

you know what I mean? [CHUCKLES]

And ya kind of screwed me on... on that.

I'm sorry. I am sorry. That was a scam.

But this... no, this... [CHUCKLES]

This is legit.

I mean, the kind of money
that I am talking about,

I mean, it could...

[WHISPERS] it could
solve a lot of problems.

Yeah.

MAN: Keep your water crystal Clear

with the help of Dudley Pools.

Worried about keepin' your
pool in summertime shape?

Look no further.

Visit our store and stock up on
everything you need to keep...

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

[BELLS CHIMING]

SCOTT: Tonight, we read
from the Book of the Dead,

where we honor those Lynx
who have departed our lodge

and now dwell among the stars.

I'll, uh, read the first 300 names,

and then we'll take turns.

I would like to start with
my father, Mitch Miller,

who attained the rank of Solemn Knight

and who helped lead the lodge to
10 muni-league softball titles.

- MAN 1: Yeah.
- MAN 2: Yeah.

Go forth in light, Mitch Miller.

ALL: Go forth in light.

Moving on... Abigail Walters,

who attained the rank
of Luminous Knight.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

Did ya come to apologize?

No. What is wrong with you?

You should be apologizing.

I have a temper.

I didn't want the night
to go that way, I swear.

That's not an apology.
I don't do apologies.

I don't care.

I just wanna know what
else my dad said about me.

He said a lot of things.

How well did you know him?

[SIGHS]

We were friends for a long time,

and then, obviously, we became lovers.

God, you're clueless.

[SIGHS] Come in. You look defydrated.

[SIGHS]

[DUD GRUNTS]

[COUGHS]

[CLEARING THROAT]

- [MAN CLEARS THROAT]
- DUD: Uh...

[SIGHS]

Um... uh...

- Right there.
- Yep. Yeah, yep.

Uh, Eddie...

Oh, I... I... I... I can't. I
can't... I can't take it anymore.

I know that this is
a beautiful tradition,

- but right now, this is not helping anything, okay?
- [SIGHS DEEPLY]

We're all feelin' down
for different reasons.

Okay, and I don't
wanna point anyone out.

I don't wanna single somebody out.

But maybe... I don't know,
maybe it's because we're sad

because we got laid
off at our job at Orbis.

Or maybe because, you
know, we got evicted

and we had to move into
the back of our pot shop.

Or maybe it's because we have

a... an insane $3,000 bar tab, you know?

Or maybe it's because our
Caddy's in the shop, you know,

and our... our girlfriend
left the country.

Or maybe because our wife had an affair,

- and she left the country...
- Dud, really not the time.

Which brings us to the lodge.

We kept the doors open,

but hasn't been the same.

Nothin's been the same since Larry died,

and we're all still dealin' with that.

WOMAN: Mm-hmm.

I know... I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "Dud,
everything you're sayin' here

is 100% true, but there's
nothin' we can do about it."

WOMAN: Mnh-mnh.

Well, you're wrong,

because there is.

Now, listen.

You're just gonna have
to take my word on this,

but, basically, I am a major player

in a vast international conspiracy.

It involves Bitcoin and the scrolls.

- WOMAN: What?
- Now... yeah, and... and, okay.

And the scrolls are somewhere in Mexico.

Don't know where, but we
gotta go get 'em, okay,

- because they're worth millions.
- [SIGHS]

And the great thing is, is
that we can all share it.

[MURMURING]

We need to do this for the lodge.

It's our destiny!

And I know that because
Larry told me, and... and...

and not to freak anyone out
here, but this place is haunted.

It's haunted, and...
and... and I know that

because, the other night, Larry and...

Larry's ghost came to me
in the bar and he told me.

He said, "Dud, gotta go down to Mexico,

and you gotta get the holy grail," okay?

Larry's ghost wants us to
go to Mexico. So who's in?

- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Okay.

- MAN: Holy shit!
- DUD: Whoa!

WOMAN: Oh, hey!

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Um... [DOOR CLOSES]

Larry wasn't actually
in there pounding beers.

[MOUTH FULL] It was a ghost!

Blaise, tell him.

I might've suggested the
possibility of a visitation,

but that doesn't necessarily mean that

Larry manifested in the material plane.

It's... you know, it's
kind of a gray area.

- [THUD IN DISTANCE]
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

What was that?

It's Scott. He's in the Sanctum.

[GRUNTING, CLATTERING]

SCOTT: What's going on?

[DOORKNOB RATTLING]

[ALL SCREAM]

Who the hell are you?!

ERNIE: It's El Confidente.

I came up through the
tunnel in the trailer.

BIG BEN: Wait, we've got a tunnel?

You owe me a drink, Ernesto.

You must be Dud.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I've been dreamin' about you.

[LAUGHS]
- Let's get a drink.

- Okay!
- Man, come on!

[LAUGHS]

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